Document

6th FEBRUARY, 1973

NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION

" E E ! N o . 327

TAKE

A LUTE

TO THE DES " T A K E A L E T T E R T O T H E D E S " was

quashed at Thursday's Union Meeting as the

primary motivation and slogan for tomorrow's

demonstration to the Department of Educa

tion and Science (DES) on South Bank organ

ised by the I C U Grants Action Committee.

A mot ion submitted by Piers C o r b y n stating I C U ' s

belief that letters sent to M P s or the D E S should be

on an unofficial and indiv idual basis was carr ied, leav

ing the secondary slogan

" D e m a n d a l iv ing grant"

as the ma in line of the

demonstration. L e t t e r s

w i l l , however, be handed

in to the D E S .

The demonstrat ion w i l l

assemble on the Mechan

ica l Engineering concourse

at 1.15 p.m. on Wednes

day 7th (tomorrow) and

march to South Kensing

ton underground station,

where participants wi l l

board a train for B lack -

friars. The march proper

w i l l take place f rom

Blackfr iars station to the

D E S bui ld ing. John Lane ,

f C U President, explained

to " F E L I X " that the

march had to take this

somewhat unusual route

because of the l imitat ions

on marches within a mile

of Westminster: the D E S

falls into this zonal re

striction.

John Lane is expecting

a large measure of sup

port f rom IC students, and

hopes that hundreds of

you w i l l turn out. The

demonstration is exclusive

to Imperial Col lege —

Thames Polytechnic had a

s imi lar one last week sup

ported by 200 students.

The first nat ional demon

stration w i l l be on Febru

ary 21st, when the N U S is

organising seven regional

demonstrations, one of

which w i l l be in London .

Th is w i l l be fol lowed by a

"Na t i ona l D a y of A c t i o n "

on M a r c h 14th, essentially

a further series of demon

strations.

FRIDAY, 23rd - SUNDAY, 25th FEBRUARY

S K I - I N G W E E K E N D to Le Monte Dore

(Auvergne region of France)

B a r g a i n — £23 Price includes

jk Return Jet Travel, Luton—Clermont F.

(outward Luton 2200 Friday

return Luton 2400 Sunday)

j|c Transfer from airport to hotel and v.v.

3̂c 2 nights' accommodation with breakfast only in twin-

bedded rooms

jfc 1 day's skiing lessons with equipment

Hosts Student T r a v e l

Service L t d . 161 Great Port land Street, W 1 N 6 N N

Te lephone 0 1 - 5 8 0 7 7 3 3

5 PER CENT OF

IC GRADUATES

STILL

U N E M P L O Y E D 5 % of I C students who graduated last summer were

st i l l unemployed by mid-December, according to the

A n n u a l Report for 1971-2. M o r e students than ever

are now going into accountancy, banking, actuar ia l

work and the Stock Exchange: between 1965 and 1971

the percentage of students wi th first degrees going into

" legal , commerce and others" categories of employment

rose f rom 3.1 to 13.9.

The other ma in finding of the report is a drop in

applications for undergraduate courses of 12 .1% and

a drop in anticipated admissions of nearly 8 % . The

intake in 1971 was only 877, and the total number of

students rose by only 0 .6% to 3,920, made up of 2,472

(63%) undergraduates and 1,448 (37%) postgraduates.

Th is year's estimated student total of 4,048 would ind i

cate a rise of only 0 .33% over last year.

F inanc ia l l y , I C succeeded in mak ing a surplus of

£114,000 over expenditure of £10,430,000 last year,

which w i l l be carried forward into the new quinquen

n ium. The insured value of the bui ldings i n I C comes to

£50.5 mi l l ions — wi th furniture and fittings, £66m.

MISSING I M P E R I A L C O L L E G E O F S C I E N C E A N D

T E C H N O L O G Y

L o n d o n SW7 . Telephone: 01-589 5111. Te lex : 261503

(1) F r o m M i n e r a l Technology, R o y a l School of M ines ,

an Ad l e r 800 Ca lcu la tor , serial N o . 553042.

(2) F r o m Elec t r i ca l Engineer ing Department, a smal l

battery operated Electronic Ca lcu la to r (pocket

type) Hewlet t Packard make serial N o . 1143-

A51365.

.Should either of these items have been borrowed

for any purpose wou ld the persons responsible

please return them to the appropriate Departmen

ta l Superintendent or the Col lege Security Officer.

DING-A-LING

SOUNDS I've just come back from one of the most enjoyable

concerts I've been to for some time. F u l l of good o ld

rock and ro l l , which you can't get fed up with no

matter how many times you've heard it before.

The R o c k i n g Devils d id a fine job of warming up

the audience, turning out such vintage numbers as

"Le t s G o D o the H o p " , " L i t t l e D a r l i n g " , "Teenager in

Love " , " R u n a r o u n d Sue " and " H o w a N a g i l a " , the

latter being played at the back of his neck. They s imu

lated the part wel l , even to the greased back hair and

playing the guitar while kneeling on the ground. Hav

ing been on the pub and c lub c ircui t before, they were

quite overcome by the hot reception they deservedly

received, and continued long after they were due to

finish with more numbers from B i l l Haley, E lv is Pres

ley, and Edd i e Cochrane. One thing they could have

done wou ld have been to move closer together, as the

stage looked r id iculously empty.

A f ter the interval C h u c k Berry 's band, consisting of

M i c k C l a r k e (guitar), George F o r d (bass) and Dennis

E l l i o t (drums) turned in a very short set before they

were joined by the man himself. A t his entrance every

one on the floor rose to their feet, presumably because

the people at the front wouldn' t sit down, and they

wanted to see too.

H i s set was quite predictable with a l l the old classics

" R o l l Over Beethoven", "Schoo l D a y s " , "Sweet L i t t le

S ixteen" , " C a r o l " , and " M e m p h i s " which he d id with

a l l his usual fire, p lay ing his guitar f rom his waist, his

hip, hor izonta l , vert ical and every other conceivable

posit ion whi le he hopped and jumped across the stage.

"Re e l i n g and R o c k i n g " , his new single, has, T hear,

been sent to M a r y Whitehouse with the hope she gets it

banned and it emulates the same success as the song

they fol lowed it w i th — " M y D i n g - A - L i n g " . Th i s was

radical ly different f rom the recording at Lanchester,

and even funnier. They finished with " J o h h n y B

Goode " , and C h u c k was off the stage and in his car

ready to leave whi le his band finished the song off, —

the first concert I've been to without hearing an encore.

G . J . Kes .

B L O O D D O N O R S S A V E

L I V E S

Col lec t ing Sessions are held

of regular intervals.

Please contact The Students

Un ion for in format ion.

Y o u r Help Is Urgently

Needed - ENROL TODAY

F E L I X February 6th, 1973

Letters Partisan ? Sir,

Letters in FELIX attacking

cleaners as being "lazy" and

"unnecessary" must be

wholeheartedly condemned

as being on the same level

as those calling students

"long-haired layabouts, who

have never done a day's

work in their lives". An im

portant question is raised

here for, as we are entering

this enormous campaign for

grant increases, should let

ters and articles attacking

cleaners or any other section

of workers in the college be

published? In the Grants

Campaign we are going to

need the support of every

group of workers or profes

sional people we can get, to

ensure the defeat and re

moval from office of this gov

ernment. When you go in for

a battle, for that is what the

Grants Campaign is, one does

not want to alienate one's

friends and support one's

enemies. The whole of soci

ety is being polarised; today

you must either be on one

side or the other. On the

side of students, hospital

workers, pensioners and civil

servants fighting to stop liv

ing standards being cut—or

on the side of big business,

property speculators and the

Tories, fighting to maintain

their rate of profit.

A successful Grants Cam

paign must be seen as a part

of the entire class struggle.

Plans must be made and for

ces mobilised to demonstrate

that we are not prepared to

lie down and be trampled

over: we must fight back.

"Felix" should be part of

this fight for it is a student

newspaper. It should be a

paper that discusses all the

issues involved in the de

fence of students' rights —

not one that sets out to be

non-partisan.

Yours, etc.,

PETE GILLETT.

(Note—this letter has

been adapted slightly to en

sure grammatical correctness

and continuity).

E d i t o r ' s N o t e : It would

be sheer hypocrisy to sup

press free speech in a student

newspaper, which is exactly

what Mr. Gillett is suggest

ing! Felix will continue to

attempt to show all sides of

the argument wherever pos

sible.

More UGMs Comrade Editor,

I am continually shocked,

surprised, disappointed and

bored to tears by reading

such inchoate bourgeois poli

tical sub-thinking as por

trayed in the letter from

Charles Ftussden.

The habit of rambling on

about democracy in student

affairs is repugnant to all

members of the Union with

a trace of dialectics in their

souls.

As I understand the sys

tem, in order to ensure that

union meetings are represent

ative, a random numeral,

chosen between the greatest

and least number of students

likely to attend a Union

meeting, is called a quorum

and shouted out at inoppor

tune moments by Bill (I hate

myself for doing this, but

. , ..) Gerrard.

I find it very difficult to

believe that we really need

less than one Union meeting

every week—be they general

or Extraordinary general—to

decide on the best tactics

in the continual struggle

against Capitalism, but for

tunately one section of the

revolutionary vanguard of the

student proletariat (i.e., the

Exec.) is not afraid of ignor

ing the irrelevant whinings

of the average "moderate"

apolitical twits and take

votes on contentious mo

tions in order to defeat Tory

attacks.

In closing there is one

question about democracy

to which I would be grateful

for an answer from Mr.

Russden: Why should anyone

who isn't a political activist

be allowed a vote at Union

meetings?

Yours fraternally,

ALASDHAIR ULYANOV

(No relation).

Left-wing

thinking Sir,

At last the final solution

has been found!

It is well-known that there

currently exists a global glut

of unemployed graduates;

the taxpayer must pay these

people not only whilst they

study, but also when they

find their expensive educa

tion unwanted. The result is

a total waste of both public

money and these young

people's time.

Now if the state were to

stop giving grants to students

altogether, fewer would

attend universities, of course.

Thus, the surplus-graduate

problem would be solved

most neatly, as would the

student-nuisance problem,

since most would be too busy

earning and studying to play

at revolution. Most import

ant of all, more than £f00

million of public money

would be saved each year,

and could be used for such

worthy causes as the aboli

tion of supertax and death

duties.

Yours faithfully,

J. PELLY-FRY.

Volunteers! Sir,

The Wandsworth Housing

Aid Centre is a voluntary

organisation which provides

housing aid and advice to

families and single people.

It is run by a committee of

members and is staffed dur

ing the day by one (soon to

be two) full-time paid Co

ordinator. We receive most

of our financial support from

Shelter and our services are

free.

The main work of the

volunteer members is to give

preliminary interviews to

people who make appoint

ments by 'phoning or calling

in during the day. The inter

views take place between

7.00 and 9.00 Monday to

Friday. We also have a

meeting once a month. We

desperately need more mem

ber/interviewers who can

spare about two evenings

per month. No-one is expect

ed to interview alone until

they have sat in with an

experienced interviewer for

a while. Once the interviewer

has taken all the details and

given any advice he can, the

case is taken up by the full-

time Coordinator.

I should be very grateful

if you could mention our

need for more volunteers in

your newspaper so that any

of your students (or staff)

who live in the Wandsworth

area and who are interested

will get in touch with us. The

people to get in touch with

for more information, date of

next meeting, etc. are—Dave

Ferris (Coordinator) Wands

worth Housing Aid Centre

daytime only 870 2679

Jackie Edwards evenings

and weekends 223 2016 Ann Fowler, Tricia Ross

evenings and weekends 870 3259

Thank you.

Yours sincerely,

JENNIFER BEARDWOOD.

Case

History Sir,

As you have asked for

letters concerning the grants

campaign, I thought I would

write and tell you what my

particular story is, with re

gards to grants.

1. Early in 72, I applied as

normal for an LEA grant, and

was awarded £360 pa for 3

years, £120 pa being de

ducted because of parental

income.

2. At Christmas, I got

married to a girl who had a

4 months old baby. She did

not have a job then, arTd does

not have one now.

3. Twice, on 'phoning my

LEA, I was told that my grant

could not be changed for the

whole of the 3 years, eitTier

by virtue of my married

status or because of the de

pendent child.

4. We moved into a base

ment flat in Hammersmith,

and are paying £5 plus per

week rent, where my wife

does domestic cleaning for

the landlady.

5. My situation can now

be summarised. For an in

come of £360 a year, or £12

a week during term time,

with nothing during vacation,

I have to support myself, my

wife, my child including all

food, clothing, travel expen

ses and books.

If Mr. Norman St. John

Stevas can think of how we

are to live, I hope he will

please tell me.

BILL WOOD, EEI.

(Thank you Felix).

Asms Sir,

A token stoppage by some

hundreds of members of the

Imperial College Branch of

ASTMS took place last 'Tues

day afternoon. There is a

Branch Meeting this Tues

day, February 6th, and it is

likely that the same event

will occur. Thereafter it is

likely to become more seri

ous and I have no doubt that

we will come to the President

of IC Union to invoke the

agreement made between

the College based Unions

(including I.C. Union) during

the presidency of John Mc-

Cullough.

The situation is complex,

but simply it is as folows.

In 1969 ASTMS was chal

lenged to co-operate on an

equal basis with the govern

mental Manpower Service

Unit and the Universities to

provide the correct salaries

and correct gradings for

University Technical Staff.

This challenge we accepted

and have been heavily in

volved in detailed and con

structive work. As time has

progressed national and local

agreements have evolved to

which ASTMS and the Uni

versities have put their sig

natures, binding in honour

only. Elsewhere up and down

the country the administra

tion of Universities have

broken such agreements

made. It now appears to be

the turn of Imperial College

administration.

Having demolished every

single argument that the Col

lege administration have

brought forward, we find that

the College is breaking two

agreements because it is

their decision to do so.

There are other matters

that also concern us. A

group of dedicated and pro

vocative non-trade unionists,

who demand as a right every

concession that their trade

union colleagues win from

the College locally and from

the Universities nationally,

have been given the most

favoured treatment. This, in

cluding a special meeting

with the Rector. It may not

be widely known but it is

College policy to deny the

ASTMS any representational

rights as a body on any Col

lege Committee except one.

WE sit on that one because

we threatened many years

ago some drastic action. It

may not also be widely

known that the present Rec

tor has ruled that he will not

see representatives of

ASTMS and IC Union jointly

on any matter.

With the conscious

breaking of agreements by

the College and in this kind

of atmosphere, who can

blame our members for dem

onstrating their disgust.

Yours sincerely,

H. FAIRBROTHER,

Secretary.

Thank you,

Son/a/ Sir,

I refer to the letter from

Sonia Hochfelder in last

week's "Felix". Rather an

interesting point of view is

put forward as regards the

exploitation of the students

by the bourgeoisie. This

class is responsible for cal

culating the future increased

value of us students as a re

sult of our education. Does

Sonia realise that by her let

ter she might have provoked

some bourgeoisie exploiter

somewhere to thinking that

perhaps pure research in

science is rather unprofit

able?

Just think of all those

intellectuals, who do little

teaching, turning out very

little profit for the bour

geoisie — and being well

paid for it. What does she

feel like to be a potential

destroyer of one of the sec

tions of our life untainted by

the profit motive?

I feel the bourgeoisie

should be very grateful to

Sonia for pointing out such

an efficient system for mak

ing the most from education.

One wonders why they do

not take immediate action.

Yours sincerely,

CHRIS STEVENS.

Boring Sir,

A glance at a substantial

part of your Letters Page last

week prompted me to ask

the following question.

If I were to translate a

few pages from a particular

ly boring book, such as the

Patagonian edition of "Mein

Kampf", and sandwich the

resulting tract between the

word "Sir" and my signa

ture, would you print it (with

perhaps a neat heading such

as "Fascist Contracep

tions")?

Yours quizzically,

ADOLF VON WEASEL-

GROPE,

President, C.8G. Y.N.S.S.S.

Responsi

bility Sir,

The responsible Union.

One year a levy on Hall

fees for a new Hall of Resi

dence was decided upon. The

following year there was an

attempt to cancel it.

One week there was a

decision to get students as a

body of Union members to

write letters to the Under-

Secretary of State at the

DES. The following week this

was cancelled.

The responsible union. '

Yes, I know, it isn't neces

sarily "the Union Exec"

which does this. It is a num

ber of those people who try

to guide Union policy with

their shortsighted, narrow

and sometimes ignorant mo

tions, resolutions and de

mands.

People who want to be

taken seriously should be

have in a serious fashion.

Yours faithfully,

DORI SCHMETTERLING.

TIME FOR ACTION! A t long last after 3 U G M s the U n i o n is now going

to D O something about getting higher grants i n

stead of s imply mak ing demands w i th nothing to back

them up.

The demonstrat ion next Wednesday to the D E S and

the refectory boycotts to be launched br ing us right

into the thick of the fight for higher grants. W i t h 42

colleges on rent-strike and many more running refec

tory boycotts wi th the excellent demonstrat ion of 500

students f r om Thames Polytechnic to the D E S last

Wednesday and that of 1,000 i n Southampton the

previous week, there is every sign that this grants cam

paign is going to be the biggest success students have

ever had.

O U R C A S E

The justice of the c l a im is beyond doubt. N o t only

has our standard of l i v ing been slashed, not only is

there gross d iscr iminat ion against marr ied women and

students i n the F E colleges, but i n fact the last rise

i n 1971 was a C O N . O u r parents are paying most of

it i n increased contributions — many of them either

cannot or w i l l not pay them.

B u t reason has no effect on this Government. It

has taken over a year to agree to meet N U S to discuss

the c l a im . A n y trade un ion faced w i th a s imi la r res

ponse wou ld have been out on strike months ago.

Unfortunate ly students cannot have the same effect

by str ik ing but we must use what power we have —

the economic power of rent strikes and refectory boy

cotts against the colleges and the disruptive power of

demonstrations, lecture boycotts (and of course refec.

boycotts as well).

So far the mi l i tancy of the nation-wide campaign

has won us two th ings :— firstly the D E S has finally

agreed to meet N U S on 27th Feb. , secondly a number

of vice-chancellors have made publ ic statements sup

port ing us.

R E F E C T O R Y B O Y C O T T S

The U G M voted for this tactic by a vote of the order

of 3 to 1 rejecting the threats made by V i c t o r J .

M o o n e y i n last week's Fe l i x . W e must total ly oppose

any suggestion of closing the U n i o n lower refectory

next year. It is becoming increasingly viable. If the

bar i n the U n i o n Lower lounge had been opened at the

beginning of term as i t should have been the U n i o n

ref. might wel l have been breaking even due to the

increased custom attracted.

A s for Mooney 's suggestion that the refectory staff

w i l l take the boycotts as a personal insult, the boycott

is a imed at getting higher grants and the staff w i l l

surely realise this — unless, of course, someone is

st irr ing up trouble to set the students and workers

against each other. The U n i o n is pledged to fight ag

ainst any threat to jobs and we must take this pledge

very seriously indeed. W e can use our representation

on the Refectories Committee to fight redundancies but

in the last analysis its up to the union as a whole to

take act ion alongside the trade unions i n Col lege i f

this threat is made.

W E D N E S D A Y ' S D E M O

Th is must be seen as a part of the bu i ld up to the

big demo on Feb. 21st covering a l l colleges and un i

versities i n the S .E . of Eng land . B y march ing to the

D E S we can firstly put some more pressure o n the

Government, secondly get press coverage and th i rd ly

involve hundreds of union members i n the campaign.

Af ter the demo we won't just c raw l back and lie down

again. We have to keep up the activity, bu i ld ing up

to an even bigger turn-out on February 21st.

H O R R O R S T O R I E S !

The nat ional (and local) press l ike the personal

touch. So if we want publ ic i ty on grants we read: " J .

Bloggs of IC is l i v ing on chips because his parents can't

(or won't) give h im the £150 parental contr ibut ion he

is due . "

Anyone with grant difficulties out of the ord inary

should come into the union office and give the de

tails to the President who w i l l use the case history to

get the sort of favourable press coverage we need.

J O H N L A N E

I S R A E L m B e there for t h e 2 5 t h A n n i v e r s a r y

ce l ebra t ions ISftflHS ?Mh ANNIVERSARY

T O U R S

T R A V E L

T I C K E T S

K I B B U T Z

Complete programme of ISTC flights, trains, ships from

H O S T S S T U D E N T

T R A V E L S E R V I C E LTD.

161 GREAT PORTLAND ST, W1N 6 N N

Telephone 01-580 7733

February 6th, 1973 F E L I X

Spot the capitalist competition A n s w e r in Times Classif ied

JOIN THE FELIX

CAMPAIGN TO

IMPROVE THE

QUALITY OF LIFE IN

BRITAIN In response to widespread public alarm about the

quality of life in Britain today, Felix, with the sup

port of the Advisory Centre for Bolshevism, launches

its nationwide campaign to rid our once green and

pleasant land of that most insidious and widespread

hangover from the Industrial Revolution: Capital

ism.

Even as you read th is

the dead l y tentac les of

cap i ta l i s t exp lo i ta t i on put

you in danger of l o s ing ,

inch b y in ch , that gener

ous span of mode rn life

a l l o t t ed to every member

of the f ledg l ing proletar

iat.

Every s e c o n d nearer

that momen t w h e n you

f inal ly rece ive your deg

ree br ings you c lose r to

a l i f e t ime of barren ser

v i l i t y s t re tch ing away to

the grave, to be a cog in

the vast mach ine of pro

duc t i on w i t h no future,

but to keep g r i n d i n g

away p r o d u c i n g surp lus

va lue for the enr i chment

of that porc ine f ew they

ca l l the bourgeo i s i e .

H a m s t r u n g un ions ,

se l l - out l eadersh ip ,

Phase II, Phase III, inf la

t i on , urban po l l u t i on ,

rural d esec ra t i on ; h o w

can th is m i se rab l e pros

pect be r e conc i l ab l e w i th

the g iant t e chno l o g i c a l

leaps f o rward l ead ing

up to the 1 9 7 0 ' s — if

you th ink that s o u n d s

g r i m , r emember the sag

a c i o u s w o r d s of the

Caree rs A d v i s o r y Officer:

" I f the graduate u n e m

p loyment doesn ' t get

you , the premature re

d u n d a n c i e s w i l l ! "

Vladimir C a t n i p ,

Felix's Political corres

pondent, writes: The

facts are p la in for a l l to

see, but facts are not

enough , w e need e m p i r i

ca l e v i d ence w i t h w h i c h

to a rm a revo lut ionary

party so it can lead the

w o r k i n g c l a s s to v i c tory .

There fore w e ca l l on

every m a n , w o m a n a n d

c h i l d to he lp us in the

c o m p i l a t i o n of a nat ion

w i d e Nausea t ing M o n e y

m a k e r s ' M a p , w h i c h w i l l

enab le us to p inpo in t

every cap i ta l i s t in Br i t a in

today .

W i t h the a i d of a

grant f r om the A C B w e

can equ ip everyone w h o

asks w i th a spec i a l Fe l i x

K i t 4 c ons i s t i n g of a

camera w i t h te lephoto

lens, long range conver

sa t ion mon i t o r s , lapel

m i c r ophones , R o l l s -

Royc e p rox im i t y meters ,

tape measure for meas

ur ing g i r th of suspec t s ,

D a i l y To ryg raph sensors

and the add r e s s of the

A t h e n a e u m .

A tr ia l run of the kit

w i th a r a n d o m se l ec t i on

of s tudents f rom Imper

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G e o r g e ' s b o a t floated g e n t l y o n h e r m o o r i n g s , as t h e t h r e e a d v e n t u r e r s , a n d t h e p r o u d o w n e r s t o o d b y t h e w a t e r ' s e d g e s t a r i n g o u t o v e r t h e d e e p b l u e s e a .

" J o l l y n i c e , " s a i d F e r o c i o u s , " b u t h o w a r e w e s u p p o s e d t o g e t o u t t h e r e ? "

" A h , " s a i d t h e s m i l i n g c a p t a i n , " I h a v e a d i n g h y f o r j u s t t h a t p u r p o s e , c u n n i n g l y c o n c e a l e d y o n d e r . " F e r o c i o u s f o l l o w e d G e o r g e ' s p o i n t i n g a r m . H e c o u l d see n o t h i n g e v e n v a g u e l y l i k e a d i n g h y . T h e J u n g l e C o n t r o l l e r b e a m e d a t h i s c o m p a n i o n ' s c o n f u s i o n . " O v e r h e r e , " h e s a i d , l e a d i n g t h e p a r t y t o w a r d s a h u g e s h e l l - l i k e o b j e c t , h a l f b u r i e d i n t h e s a n d . W h e n t h e y d r e w n e a r t h e y c o u l d see t h a t i t w a s a v a s t c l a m , w i t h " T e n d e r t o O v e r d r a f t " p a i n t e d o n t h e t o p h a l f .

" O v e r d r a f t ? " s a i d F e r o c i o u s i n c r e d u l o u s l y . " Y e s , u m , " m u m b l e d G e o r g e , " b e f o r e c o m

i n g t o t h e j u n g l e , I w o r k e d i n a b a n k , a n d 1 b o u g h t h e r o n a n O v e r d r a f t , s o i t s e e m e d a p p r o p r i a t e a t t h e t i m e . A c t u a l l y , I c a l l h e r F a n n y , n o w . "

" Q u i t e u n d e r s t a n d a b l e , d e a r b o y , " s a i d F e r o c i o u s w i t h a s m i l e , " b u t s u r e l y t h a t m o l u s c i s n o t t h e T e n d e r ? " G e o r g e l a u g h e d k n o w i n g l y .

" N o , n o , " J ie s a i d , " t h e d i n g h y i s i n s i d e . " H e l e a n t f o r w a r d a n d b a n g e d o n t h e h u g e s h e l l .

" P u s h o f f , " s a i d t h e c l a m , " t h i s i s p r i v a t e p r o p e r t y . " G e o r g e s i g h e d ,

" D o n ' t b e s i l l y , E n i d , " h e s a i d , " i t ' s m e , G e o r g e . "

" O . K . " s a i d E n i d , " j u s t c h e c k i n g . " W i t h a c r e a k i n g o f s i n e w s , a c r a c k a p p e a r e d a t t h e j o i n i n t h e t w o h a l v e s o f t h e s h e l l . S l o w l y t h e u p p e r h a l f l i f t e d t o r e v e a l a s m a l l b l a c k r u b b e r d i n g h y , a n d a n o u t b o a r d m o t o r .

" T h e r e w e a r e , " s a i d G e o r g e p r o u d l y , " t h a t ' s h o w w e g e t o u t t o F a n n y . " W i t h F e r o c i o u s ' h e l p t h e J u n g l e C o n t r o l l e r l i f t e d t h e d i n g h y f r o m i t s h i d i n g p l a c e , a n d E n i d s h u t d o w n b e h i n d t h e m .

" C h e e r i o G e o r g e , " s h e c a l l e d a f t e r t h e a d v e n t u r e r s , as t h e y m a d e t h e i r w a y d o w n to t h e s e a .

" I t h i n k , " s a i d G e o r g e , " t h a t w e h a d be t t e r m a k e t w o t r i p s , c o n s i d e r i n g t h e s i z e o f s o m e m e m b e r s o f t h e p a r t y . "

" S o r r y , " s a i d t h e T w i g w o r m . " N o t r o u b l e , " s a i d G e o r g e , as h e p u s h e d

t h e l i t t l e b o a t i n t o t h e w a t e r a n d j u m p e d i n , " Y o u c o m e w i t h m e , P h o s p h o r o u s a n d F e r o c i o u s ; I ' l l c o m e b a c k f o r t h e T w i g w o r m i n a m o m e n t . " P h o s p h o r o u s a n d F e r o c i o u s c l a m b e r e d i n t o t h e b o a t , a n d G e o r g e p u s h e d off w i t h a p a d d l e . A s s o o n as h e w a s i n d e e p w a t e r t h e J u n g l e C o n t r o l l e r l o w e r e d t h e o u t b o a r d m o t o r a n d p u l l e d t h e s t r i n g . T o h i s s u r p r i s e i t s t a r t e d f i r s t p u l l . " N o t o f t e n t h a t h a p p e n s , " h e s a i d w i t h a g r i n , " p e r h a p s i t ' s a g o o d o m e n . " W i t h t h e m o t o r b u z z i n g a n g r i l y t h e d i n g h y h e a d e d o u t to .wards t h e F a n n y .

M e a n w h i l e t h e T w i g w o r m s a t a t t h e w a t e r ' s e d g e , i n i t s u s u a l h e a p , i d l y b u r y i n g i t s h u g e f e e t i n t h e s a n d , a n d w o n d e r i n g s a d l y w h e r e I ts T w i g w o r m e r y h a d g o t to . A s h o u t a w o k e t h e l a r g e c r e a t u r e f r o m i t s d r e a m i n g . G e o r g e h a d r e t u r n e d , a n d w a s s u g g e s t i n g t h a t t h e T w i g w o r m s t e p a b o a r d . W i t h s o m e s t u m b l i n g a n d m u c h s p l a s h i n g , t h i s w a s a c h i e v e d , a n d , b o w p r a c t i c a l l y b e n e a t h t h e w a v e s , t h e d i n g h y r e t u r n e d t o t h e o l d k e t c h . A g a i n a t r i s k t o l i f e a n d l i m b , t h e T w i g w o r m w a s p e r s u a d e d o u t o f t h e d i n g h y a n d o n t o t h e s c r u b b e d d e c k s o f G e o r g e ' s b o a t .

" R i g h t , " s a i d t h e m a s t e r m a r i n e r , " l e t ' s ge t s o m e s a i l u p , a n d w e c a n b e a w a y . " U n f o r t u n a t e l y n e i t h e r P h o s p h o r o u s n o r F e r o c i o u s h a d e v e r b e e n s a i l i n g b e f o r e , a n d t h e T w i g w o r m h a d o n l y b e e n a f l o a t o n a T w i g w o r m e r y w h i c h j u s t d r i f t e d . " N e v e r m i n d , " s a i d t h e e v e r - o p t i m i s t i c G e o r g e ,

" y o u ' l l s o o n p i c k i t u p . " H e g a v e t h e m a

s h o r t l e c t u r e o n t h e p r i n c i p l e s o f s a i l i n g ,

w i t h a m u s i n g a n e c d o t e s a n d l i t t l e d i a g r a m s .

T h e y f e l t n o n e t h e w i s e r . " N e v e r m i n d , "

s a i d G e o r g e , l e s s o p t i m i s t i c a l l y , " I f t h e

w o r s t c o m e s t o t h e w o r s t , I c a n h a n d l e h e r

b y m y s e l f . "

I t w a s t i m e to m a k e a m o v e . U n d e r

G e o r g e ' s i n s t r u c t i o n s t h e y m a n a g e d t o r a i s e

t h e m a i n s a i l a n d a j i b — t h e l a t t e r u p s i d e -

d o w n t w i c e . G e o r g e ' s g o o d h u m o u r w a s w e a r

i n g t h i n .

" R i g h t " h e s h o u t e d , " C a s t o f f t h e m o o r i n g ,

F e r o c i o u s . "

" C o m e a g a i n ? " a s k e d t h e a c t i n g f i r s t m a t e .

" U n t i e t h e r o p e a t t h e f r o n t , t h e o n e t h a t ' s

f i x e d t o t h e B u o y . " s a i d t h e c a p t a i n t h r o u g h

c l e n c h e d d e n t u r e s .

" W h y d i d n ' t y o u s a y so i n t h e first p l a c e ? " s h o u t e d b a c k a t a c t l e s s F e r o c i o u s , as h e d r o p p e d t h e j i b o n t h e T w i g w o r m ' s h e a d . " S o r r y , w r o n g s t r i n g , " c a m e t h e c r y f r o m u p f o r w a r d . G e o r g e s a i d a s e a m a n l i k e r u d e w o r d u n d e r h i s b r e a t h . W i t h m u c h s h o u t i n g o f " h a u l h a r d m e h a n d s o m e s ! " a n d " s p l i c e t h e u p p e r f o r e g o o l i e s " F e r o c i o u s m a n a g e d t o g e t t h e j i b b a c k u p a n d finally t o c a s t off. T h e o l d b o a t s w u n g r o u n d o n t o a p o r t t a c k , h e e l e d g e n t l y i n t h e l i g h t a i r , a n d h e a d e d o u t t o s e a . G e o r g e s t o o d p r o u d l v a t t h e h e l m as h i s p r i d e a n d j o y s l i c e d s m o o t h l y t h r o u g h t h e s w e l l . H e w a s j o i n e d i n t h e c o c k p i t b y t h e r e s t o f t h e c r e w . T o fit t h e m a l l i n , t h e T w i g w o r m w a s p u s h e d d o w n b e l o w , a n d t o l d t o m a k e s o m e co f fee .

" B u t I d o n ' t k n o w h o w ! " h e p r o t e s t e d . " T w i o w o r m s d o n ' t u s u a l l y d r i n k c o f f e e . "

" A l r i g h t , d e a r o l d e n o r m o u s n a u t i c a l p e r s o n . " s a i d F e r o c i o u s , " y o u c o m e o u t h e r e a n d I ' l l m a k e t h e c o f f e e . " T h e r e w a s a m o m e n t o f p a n i c w h e n i t a p p e a r e d t h a t F e r o c i o u s a n d t h e T w i g w o r m w e r e g o i n g t o b e j a m m e d i n t h e c o m p a n i o n w a y , b u t s o m e h o w i t r e s o l v e d i t s e l f l e a v i n g t h e T w i g w o r m o n t h e o u t s i d e a n d F e r o c i o u s o n t h e i n s i d e as i n t e n d e d .

G e o r g e h a d b e e n s t u d y i n g t h e t r i m o f t h e s a i l s a n d c o n s i d e r i n g t h e w e a t h e r .

" A s t h e r e i s n ' t m u c h w i n d , " h e s a i d " I t h i n k t h a t w e s h o u l d p u t s o m e m o r e s a i l u p . " P h o s p h o r o u s a n d t h e T w i g w o r m l o o k e d at e a c h o t h e r s a d l y .

" I ' m r i g h t i n t h e m i d d l e o f m a k i n g t h e co f f e e , " c a m e a v o i c e f r o m b e l o w . " I ' m a f r a i d y o u ' l l h a v e t o c o u n t m e o u t . as i t w e r e . " G e o r g e raised h i s e y e s s k y w a r d s .

" A l r i g h t , " h e s a i d " P h o s p h o r o u s a n d t h e T w i g w o r m c a n do i t . I w a n t y o u to g e t t h e m i z z e n a n d t h e s t a y s a i l u p . "

" E h ? " s a i d P h o s p h o r o u s . G e o r g e d i d h i s h e s t t o e x p l a i n . " W e l l w e ' l l h a v e a g o a n y w a y , w o n ' t w e T w i g ? " s a i d P h o s p h o r o u s .

" O h , y e s , " s a i d t h e T w i g w o r m , " w e ' l l d o o u r b e s t . "

W i t h m u c h f a l l i n g o v e r , a n d p u l l i n g o f r o p e s t h e y m a n a g e d t o r a i s e t h e a p p r o p r i a t e s a i l s , b u t n o t b e f o r e t h e T w i g w o r m h a d f a l l e n t h r o u g h t h e f o r e - h a t c h t w i c e , a n d P h o s p h o r o u s h a d s h o t u p t o t h e t o p o f t h e m a i n m a s t w i t h a c r y o f " H a u l a w a v . T w i g ! " B r u i s e d , b u t n o t u n d u l y d i s c o u r a g e d t h e p a i r r e t u r n e d t o t h e c o c k p i t . C e r t a i n l y t h e e x t r a s a i l h a d m a d e a d i f f e r e n c e : t h e v w e r e b o w l i n g a l o n g n o w w i t h a c r e a m i n g w h i t e w a k e , a n d s u f f i c i e n t h e e l f o r F e r o c i o u s t o d r o p G e o r g e ' s co f f ee d o w n t h e b a c k o f t h e c h a r t t a b l e .

"S"r>-v a h n u t t h a t , d e a r o l d c a p t a i n s i r . " h e s a i d . " I ' l l p r e p a r e s o m e m o r e , as y o u m i g h t s a y . " N o n e o f t h e s e d i s a s t e r s c o u l d d e t r a c t f r o m G e o r g e ' s h a p p i n e s s . S t a n d i n g , f e e t a p a r t , a t t h e t i l l e r o f h i s o w n b o a t , t h e w i n d i n h i s f ace , t h e d e c k c r e a k i n g a n d s w a y i n g b e n e a t h h i m , t h e h e a v y r e d c a n v a s b u l g i n g a b o v e h i s h e a d — h e w a s c o n t e n t m e n t p e r s o n i f i e d .

F E L I X February 6th, 1973 Page 5

The Intelligent I.C. Student's Guide to Extra-mural Entertainment & Edification T h e I n t e l l i g en t S t u d e n t ' s

G u i d e t o E x t r a - M u r a l e n t e r

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o f t h e F e l i x D i a r y a n d

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w e h o p e tha t it w i l l b e c o m e

ra the r m o r e t h a n tha t .

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o f t h e y e a r , a n d n o w i n c l u d e s

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i n a d d i t i o n t o t h e i n f o r m a

t i o n F e l i x i s r e g u l a r l y s e n t .

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a g e f r o m w e e k t o w e e k . A

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O f f e r s ?

T H E E D I T O r

Felix Diorg » compiled from .... ~.. —

guarantee of the inclusion of any event can be made unless information is sent direct to Felix

send it as early as possible to the Editor, Weeks Hall to arrive by Sunday 1 4 0 0 hours for that

FELIX D I A R Y is

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of paper and

ON S U N D A Y before 1 4 0 0 , Int. 4 2 3 6 .

T U E S D A Y , 6 th F E B R U A R Y

1 3 0 0 External A f fa i rs Commi t t e e Open Meet

ing .

S to i c presents f i l m , " A H o m e of Your

O w n " on T V in J C R and Souths ide .

1 3 3 0 " M o r t g a g e s f rom the Horse ' s M o u t h " ,

s tarr ing Derek C u m m i n g s in Phys i c s LT 1.

" E q u a l i t y and F r e e d o m " , 4 : Liberty and

the Law, by Dr. D. D. Raphae l . M e c h .

Eng . 2 2 0 .

" L i s t e n i n g to Contemporary M u s i c " by

M i s s Sarah Thomas , 4 : Debussy and Im

press i on i sm , in M E 3 4 2 .

" T h e Nature of Re l i g i ous B e l i e f " by

Father J o h n Coventry , S J , in M E 5 4 2 .

1 7 4 0 Ra i lway Soc . M E 6 6 4 .

1 7 4 5 W i n e Tas t ing Soc ie ty on the Loire, Phys .

Level 8 .

1 8 0 0 Transcendenta l Med i t a t i on introductory

talk. EE 6 0 6 .

1 9 3 0 S E A s o c ' s M a l a y s i a n Cu l tura l Evening

happens in Co l l ege B lock S C R .

2 0 0 0 Ca tho l i c Soc i e ty shared prayer, M o r e

House .

Queen El i zabeth Co l l ege d i s c o

bar. 10p.

2 1 0 0 St. Bar t ' s Hosp i ta l f i lm c lub

" G e t Car te r ' in Phys i o l ogy LT,

house Square . 20p .

nformation sent to Felix and culled from IC News, USK Entsheet, Octopus and a scouring of Union noticeboards.

Please write all the details down on a piece

Tuesday's issue. Or ring it through to him

in their

presents

Charter-

W E D N E S D A Y , 7 th F E B R U A R Y

1 3 0 0 " S t u d e n t s and the W a g e F r e e z e " , a Red

M o l e ( = I M G ? ) meet ing in EE 3 0 5 .

Demonst ra t i on to the D E S . J o i n in IC's

very own demo (see front page) . A s s e m

ble M e c . Eng . concourse .

London Student P ress A s s o c i a t i o n inter

v i ews Peter H a i n , Y o u n g L ibera ls leader

and the man w h o " S t o p p e d the '70 t our " -

A l l budd ing journal is ts w e l c o m e . U L U ,

Ma l e t Street, R o o m 2 C .

Is lamic Soc i e t y meet ing , C B 0 0 2 .

Q E C F i l m C l u b present " E v e r y

shou ld have o n e " , A l l e n Theatre ,

members 15p.

IC Fo lk C l u b presents A n n e

Lower Un i on Refectory; 15p

25p non-members . There ' s

tonight at the Ho l y G r o und C l u b a n d U n i

versi ty Co l l ege .

M a r i a A s s u m p t a Co l l ege d i s co , in c o m

mon room. 15p .

" T h e M i k a d o " presented by M a r J o n s

(Co l lege of S. Mark and S. John ) 30p &

4 0 p .

1 3 1 5

1630

1 8 3 0

1 9 1 5

1930

H o m e

non-

Br i ggs in

members ,

a l so folk

1 9 4 5

T H U R S D A Y , 8 th F E B R U A R Y

1 2 3 0 Scou t and G u i d e C l u b presents D . B .

Hernandez -Cas tanos on " M e x i c o — the

country a n d its p e o p l e " . R S M 3 .03 .

1 3 0 0 No Un i on M e e t i n g ! Ca tho l i c Soc i e ty B ib l e study group. F a l .

118 .

1 3 1 5 S tamp C l u b . C i v i l 4 1 2 .

1 3 3 0 The A r c h b i s h o p of Canterbury gets " f a c e

to f a c e " w i th s tudents in the int imate

surround ings of M E 2 2 0 .

" A r c h i t e c t u r e and Me taphys i c s in M e d i

eval E u r o p e " in Phys LT 1.

Presented by D o m i n i c de Grunne .

The Emperor Horn Tr io of London p lays

B r a h m s ' Ho rn T r i o , in the Library , 5 3

Pr ince ' s Gate .

1 9 0 0 Jo in t Chr i s t i an Serv i ce and Party in J C R

Co l l ege B l o c k .

Patron 's F u n d Concer t at Roya l Co l l ege

of M u s i c Concer t H a l l . Free .

Ar t C l u b meets in R C A annex (behind the

H u x ) .

E lec t ron ic M u s i c Group meets in Ha ldane

Library.

1 9 4 5 M a r J o n s presents (i) The M i k a d o (see

Wednesday ) and (ii) f i lms , " T h e Last

V a l l e y " and " F r i d a y C a t " and " H a r e

S p l i t t e r " for 20p .

2 0 0 0 Bed fo rd Co l l e ge Fo lk C l u b (doesn ' t c l a sh

w i th IC, so they can have a plug) in their

U n i o n C o m m o n R o o m .

M o r e folk at the C h u r c h of Chr i s t the

K ing in the Crypt . " C o m e and S i n g " .

Va l en t ine M a s s a c r e D i s c o ( let 's face it,

it 's some massacre ) at Institute of E d u

ca t i on . Free beer, but 3 0 p to get i n .

F R I D A Y , 9 th F E B R U A R Y

1000 Cru f t ' s Dog S h o w opens at O l y m p i a .

Woof , woo f !

1 2 4 5 Is lamic Soc i e ty congregat iona l prayers.

C B 0 0 2 .

1 3 0 0 S T O I C presents the " E v e r - P o p u l a r M o n o

chrome S h o w ' 'on T V in J C R and South -

s ide .

1 8 0 0 S T O I C repeats the " E v e r - P o p u l a r M o n o

chrome S h o w " .

1 8 3 0 Chr i s t i an Un i on meet ing . 53 P . G .

" E a s y R i d e r " is the IC F i l m s o c presenta

t ion.

1 9 0 0 " N e v e r on S u n d a y " , " Z o r b a the G r e e k "

and " B r i d e of F r a n k e n s t e i n " are the U L U

f i lms in Ma l e t Street.

1 9 3 0 Folk at the Institute of Educa t i on , Ma le t

Street.

" T h e G a m b i t " is the Bed fo rd Co l l ege

f i lm , 15p.

1945 " T h e M i k a d o " at Mar jons (see Wednes

day ) .

2000 P le thora of d i s c o s . Bes ides the "Peop l e ' s

D i s c o " , he ld as ever in the Union Lower

Refectory, there are others at Chelsea

(Co l l ege House Refectory ) , R C A (can

teen), Institut F ranca i s , B i rkbeck Col lege

and Un ive rs i t y Co l l ege Hosp i ta l Med i ca l

S c h o o l .

2100 " E a s y R i d e r " aga in at IC F i lmsoc , non-

members 20p .

S A T U R D A Y , 10th F E B R U A R Y

1000 Ce lebra t ion — Liturgy Workshop a t Chr is t

the K ing (Go rdon Square , W C 1 ) .

S e c o n d and f inal day of Cruf t ' s a t O l y m

p ia . G r r o w w l !

2000 IC Ents present Sharks , 50p .

Other g i gs : Che l s ea have Wheels . Hor

ror f i lms and d i s c o . L S E have P la insong,

Long Dancer and Sp i rogy ra . ULU have

Br idget St . J o h n .

S U N D A Y , 11th F E B R U A R Y

1000 Sung Euchar is t in C B Ante-Room. Prea

cher : Rev. Barney M i l l i g a n .

M a s s , preacher D o m Columba Cary-

E lwes . M o r e House .

M a s s , preacher D o m A n d r e w Brennink-

meyer . M o r e House .

Ca tho l i c Soc i e t y : " R a d i o , TV and the

C o m m u n i t y " , by Father Agne l lus Andrew

M o r e House .

" G u m s h o e " at Che l sea F i l m S o c , 10p.

Q E C Bar D i s c o , 10p.

1 1 0 0

1 8 0 0

1 9 3 0

1 9 0 0 2 0 0 0

M O N D A Y , 12th F E B R U A R Y

1930 W e l l s o c presents " S u b l i m i n a l Pro jec t ion"

in M E 2 2 0 .

LOCAL CINEMA Fulham Road ABC (370 2636) "Portnoy's Complaint" (nil Thurs.) Kensington Odeon (937 6131) "The Ruling Class" (till tomorrow) Paris Pullman (373 5898) "Andy Warhol and his Clan" and "Erotissimo". Notting Hill Classic (727 5750) "The Go-Between". Late night Sai. 10th "Accident". Paddington Classic (723 5716) "Buck and the Preacher" and "Dynamite Man from Glory Jail". LN Sat. 10th "Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice"; "Loving . Chelsea Classic (352 4388) "Blow Up

-

' . "Dance of the Vampires' LN Sat. 10th "The Blob". "Tickle Me". Chelsea Classic Curzon (352 7488) "The Garden of Finzi-Con tints'. Putney Cinecenta (788 0032) "The Mechanical Impasse". Wimbledon ABC (542 2082) "A Clockwork Orange". Wimbledon Odeons 1. 2 & 3 (542 22771 1: "Innocent Bystanders' "Sun on the Skin' . 2: "Clinic Eclusive" and "The Girls Most Likely To". 3: "Nicholas and Alexandra'. Ealing ABC (567 1333) "Portnoys Complaint" and "Hunted Odeon. Northfields (567 3939) "Precinct 45" and "A Reflection of Fear". LN Sat. 10th "Barbarella". "The Deadly Bees". Ealing Studios 1 6 2 (579 3022) 1: "Hands Off Gretel". "Sextro verts '. 2: "Midnight Cowboy", "The Thomas Crown Affair." Shepherd's Bush Classic (743 1646) "Fritz the Cat". "Peeping Tom". LN Sat. 10th "Alfie". "The Love Goddesses." Shepherd's Bush Galaxy (743-61551 "Love in the Afternoon

"Escalation". Shepherd's Bush Odeon (749 1116) "Precinct 45". "A Reflec tion of Fear".

Looking Ahead The Other Concert S p r i n g s e e m s to d e f i n i t e l y b e the s e a s o n

of G i l b e r t a n d S u l l i v a n . T h e D ' O y l y C a r t e

C o m p a n y a r e i n t o t h e s e c o n d o f t h e i r

t h r e e - m o n t h s e a s o n a t the S a d l e r ' s W e l l s

T h e a t r e i n R o s e b e r y A v e n u e , a n d it s e e m s

a s t h o u g h e v e r y c o l l e g e in L o n d o n i s d o i n g

i t s o w n s e a s o n a s w e l l .

I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e a m o n g s t t h e m : o u r v e r y

o w n G & S S o c i e t y a r e p r e s e n t i n g " l o l a n t h e "

n e x t w e e k , w i t h d a i l y p e r f o r m a n c e s f r o m

M o n d a y to F r i d a y a t 7 . 3 0 p . m . i n the U n i o n

C o n c e r t H a l t . T i c k e t s a r e 3 0 p o n M o n d a y a n d

T u e s d a y , 4 0 p o n W e d n e s d a y , T h u r s d a y a n d

F r i d a y , a n d a r e e n s a l e n o w d a i l y i n t h e

f o y e r o f the U n i o n b u i l d i n g .

T h e R o y a l C o l l e g e o f S c i e n c e U n i o n i s

h o l d i n g a " F o l k C a r n i v a l " o n F r i d a y , 2 3 r d

F e b r u a r y . R u n n i n g t h r o u g h f r o m 7 p . m . t o

2 a . m . , it f e a t u r e s the Ian C a m p b e l l F o l k

G r o u p , B a r r y D r a n s f i e l d , H a m i s h I m l a c h ,

D a v e a n d T o n i A r t h u r a n d s p e c i a l g u e s t

s t a r V i v S t a n s h a l l . T i c k e t s a r e 9 0 p e a c h ,

f r o m t h e R C S U O f f i c e , S o u t h s i d e .

" A N i g h t o f J o y " i s r e a l l y a p u n o n the

n a m e o f t h e P r e s i d e n t o f t h e U n i v e r s i t y o f

L o n d o n U n i o n , b u t " S p r i n g F e v e r " , t h e P r e

s i d e n t ' s B a l l to be h e l d a l s o o n F e b r u a r y

2 3 r d i s no j o k e : it i s a n a l l - n i g h t a f f a i r (9 to

6 ) w i t h G e o r g i a F a m e a n d A l a n P r i c e , J o h n

R e n b o u r n , t h e R a y J a c k s o n O r c h e s t r a , W i l d

W a l l y ' s B a l l o o n a n d B a n a n a B a n d , M a s k ,

C o t t o n w o o d , the N i g h t i n g a l e s a n d J u l i a n a ' s

D i s c o . S u p p e r w i l l b e s e r v e d f r o m a b u f f e t .

A f o r m a l d r e s s o c c a s i o n , t h e h i g h l i g h t o f

the U L U y e a r a n d a t t e n d e d b y H e r M a j e s t y

Q u e e n E l i z a b e t h t h e Q u e e n M o t h e r , d o u b l e

t i c k e t s a r e £6 .50 , o b t a i n a b l e b y v o u c h e r

f r o m L i n d a C r e a g h , tC U n i o n C l e r k .

A n o t h e r m a j o r " s c o o p " f o r IC E n t s i s the

b o o k i n g o f E l t o n J o h n f o r M a r c h 1 2 t h . T o

e n a b l e IC s t u d e n t s to g e t i n w i t h o u t c o m

p e t i n g w i t h . b o o k i n g s f r o m o t h a r s the c o n

c e r t i s no t b e i n g a d v e r t i s e d o u t s i d e f o r t h e

t i m e b e i n g , a n d a d v a n c e t i c k e t s a r e n o w

o b t a i n a b l e f r o m t h e b o o k s h o p , p r i c e £ 1 .

E n t s t e l l s F e l i x t h a t t h e y a r e a l r e a d y g o i n g

f a s t , a n d a d v i s e y o u to b e q u i c k a b o u t

g e t t i n g y o u r s .

R e a d e r s w i l l r e m e m b e r u s t e l l i n g t h e m

l a s t t e r m a b o u t C u m b e r l a n d L o d g e i n W i n d

s o r G r e a t P a r k a n d t h e w e e k e n d c o u r s e s

tha t t h e y r u n . T h e p r o g r a m m e c o n t i n u e s

t h i s t e r m w i t h " C r y p t o g r a p h y a n d D e c i p h e r

m e n t " o n F e b r u a r y 1 6 t h - 1 8 t h ; " P e r c e p t i o n

a n d I l l u s i o n " o n F e b r u a r y 2 3 r d - 2 5 t h ; a n d

" G e n e t i c s a n d H e r e t i c s " o n A p r i l 2 7 t h - 2 9 t h .

F u l l d e t a i l s c a n be o b t a i n e d f r o m the P r o

g r a m m e S e c r e t a r y , C u m b e r l a n d L o d g e ,

W i n d s o r G r e a t P a r k , W i n d s o r , B e r k s . ,

S L 4 2 H P .

N o t t o o f a r a w a y a t the IC f i e l d s t a t i o n at

S i l w o o d P a r k n e a r A s c o t , 3 r d - 4 t h M a r c h

s e e s the n e x t T o u c h s t o n e w e e k e n d w h e n

a d i s c u s s i o n o n " H u m a n R i g h t s " w i l l b e

c o n d u c t e d by D r . D . D . R a p h a e l , A c a d e m i c

D i r e c t o r o f A s s o c i a t e d S t u d i e s , a n d S e r g i o

C o t t a , P r o f e s s o r o f P h i l o s o p h y o f L a w a t

R o m e U n i v e r s i t y . If y o u w o u l d l i k e t o g o ,

s e n d y o u r n a m e to M r . C . K . M c D o w a l l ,

R o o m 3 3 1 , C o l l e g e B l o c k , a s s o o n a s p o s

s i b l e . T h e c o s t o f £1 i n c l u d e s t h e c o a c h

f a r e .

A p i e c e o f c l a s s i c a l m u s i c f o r i n t r o d u c

t i o n , a s a l w a y s , a n d t h e n a s m a r t l y d r e s s e d

F l a s h , l e d b y P e t e r B a n k s , t o o k t h e s t a g e

a n d l e a p t s t r a i g h t i n t o a l e n g t h e n e d v e r s i o n

of " S m a l l B e g i n n i n g s " o n i t s c o m p l e t i o n .

T h e s t a g e l o o k e d a l i t t l e d i f f e r e n t f r o m

u s u a l , w i t h t h r e e b a n k s o f l i g h t s a n d t w o

e n o r m o u s f l a g s — o n e S t a r s a n d S t r i p e s ,

a n d o n e U n i o n J a c k ( n i c e l y h u n g u p s i d e

d o w n ) p r e s u m a b l y t o d e n o t e t h e f a c t t h a t

t h e B e c k B o g a r t A p p i c e b a n d a r e A n g l o -

A m e r i c a n . T h e i r i n t r o d u c t i o n w a s a n a n

n o u n c e m e n t o f e a c h m e m b e r o f t h e b a n d

a l o n g w i t h h i s n a t i o n a l i t y f o l l o w e d b y the

b a s h i n g o f a r a t h e r l a r g e g o n g , t h o u g h t h e

n u m b e r t h e y f o l l o w e d it w i t h w a s v e r y a v e r

a g e , e a c h i n s t r u m e n t d r o w n i n g t h e o t h e r

t w o .

F l a s h a n d B . B . A . ' s s e t s s e e m e d t o b e

d i r e c t l y o p p o s e d . F l a s h d i d t h r e e m o r e

l o n g n u m b e r s , " B l a c k a n d W h i t e " o f t h e i r

f o r t h c o m i n g " F l a s h i n t h e C a n " L . P . a n d

" C h i l d r e n o f t h e U n i v e r s e " a n d " D r e a m s

of H e a v e n " f r o m t h e i r f i r s t L . P . w h i c h

if y o u ' v e s e e n o n c e y o u w o n ' t f o r g e t . It

w a s b a n n e d f r o m d i s p l a y i n o n e o f the

c o u n t r i e s i n C e n t r a l A m e r i c a ( w h i c h o n e I

c a n ' t r e m e m b e r ) b e c a u s e t h e P r e s i d e n t h a d

a h e a r t a t t a c k w h e n h e s a w it i n a s h o p

Future Shock

Alvin Toffler

Pan 5 0 pence

A l v i n Toffler is dea l ing w i th people ,

he is dea l ing w i th real i ty, he is dea l

ing w i th people w h e n they are over

w h e l m e d by change or when they fa i l

to adapt to the future.

Very care fu l l y this author takes

everyday events, the produc ts w e buy

and use, the p laces we travel to and

how w e trave l , the people w h o m w e

know and the speed w i th w h i c h they

d i sappear and s h o w s how al l these

th ings are chang ing , turning into a

v i s ib l e torrent of change , s u c k i n g and

tugg ing everyone of us into a future

out of our depths . He shows how

future invades us, how she rushes

c loser to grasp us in her open arms

and po ints out the impor tance of not

s i t t ing back and suck ing the future

f rom the safety of history but grap-

4 2>

w i n d o w . E a c h o f the n u m b e r s c o n t a i n e d

a s o l o s p o t f o r P e t e r B a n k s , p r o v i n g t h a t ,

a s w i d e l y a c c l a i m e d , h e i s o n e o f t h e f i n e s t

g u i t a r i s t s i n t h e w o r l d , s t r o k i n g o u t c h o r d s ,

p i c k i n g o u t n o t e s a n d p l u c k i n g o u t r i f f s

w i t h g r e a t b e a u t y , p e r h a p s h e d i d o v e r d o

t h e f e e d b a c k . U n f o r t u n a t e l y s e v e r a l p e o p l e

in the a u d . e n c e h a d n e i t h e r c u l t u r e n o r m a n

n e r s , a n d j u s t w o u l d n ' t k e e p q u i e t . T h e

r e s t o f t h e t i m e t h e y r e m i n d e d m e a l i t t l e

o f the e a r l y Y e s d a y s , w h i c h i s n ' t s u r p r i s

i n g , w i t h R a y B e n n e t t ' s p o w e r f u l b a s s a n d

B a n k s ' s r u n s ( a n d C o l i n C a r t e r e v e n s o u n d e d

l i k e J o n A n d e r s o n o n t h e r e c o r d ) , s o I

w a s q u i t e p l e a s e d w i t h t h e m .

B . B . A . , h o w e v e r , t e n d e d t o p l a y s h o r t e r

n u m b e r s r o l l e d t o g e t h e r , a n d p r o d u c e d a

f a r f u l l e r s o u n d , - w i t h s o m e g u t s y g u i t a r

w o r k b y M r . B e c k , t h o u g h t h e y d i d p e r f o r m

a f e w s l o w e r n u m b e r s i n W h i c h h e e x

p l o i t e d t h e m o r e d e l i c a t e u s e o f t h e g u i t a r .

T h e i r s e t i n c l u d e d a b a s s s o l o a n d a n i n

t e r e s t i n g a n d q u i t e l e n g t h y d r u m s o l o , a n d

I w a s q u i t e l o o k i n g f o r w a r d to B e c k ' s s o l o ,

b u t t h i s w a s n o t t o b e , a s s u c h , f o r h e jus<

c o n t i n u e d , w i t h h i s s h o r t b u r s t s e v e r y n o w

a n d a g a i n , t h o u g h t h e a u d i e n c e d i d n ' t m i n d

a n d d r a g g e d t h e m b a c k f o r a n e n c o r e .

G . J . K .

p l ing w i th her as real l ive f lesh and

b lood — n o w !

Future Shock is unr i va l l ed in its

comprehens i ve s tudy of the human

race, o r i g ina l in its approach and

unique in its examples . The author

se lects these examples we l l and there

are real ly so many good ones i t 's d i f f i

cu l t to know w h i c h one to choose to

i l lustrate h is point , however , the fo l

l ow ing d i d par t i cu lar ly appea l . It

appears in the chapter on ' throw-away

soc i e t y ' a l ong w i th paper w e d d i n g

dresses , throw-away bott les, cans

and paper handkerch i e f s .

" R e c e n t l y Mat te l announced a new

improved Barb ie d o l l . The new ver

s ion has a s l i m m e r figure, ' r e a l '

eye lashes and a twis t -and-turn wa i s t

that makes her more human than ever.

Moreover , Mat t e l announced that, for

the first t ime, any young lady w i s h i n g

to purchase a new Barb ie w o u l d re

ce ive a trade- in a l l owance for her o ld

o n e " . D A V I D H O B M A N

Sex , denta l surgery and w a t c h i n g

a f i lm have one s i m i l a r after-effect —

they leave me in a vague, m i n d l e s s

daze. " P o r t n o y ' s C o m p l a i n t " (Warner

Rendezvous and A B C , F u l h a m Road)

comp le t e l y d ra ined the life out of me.

M a y b e it w a s because it w a s 10 .30

a .m. , or because I hadn ' t had any

breakfast , or s i m p l y that it was my

first tr ip to the c inema for at least s ix

months : I don ' t know . But , d e v o i d of

any hope of d i v e r s i on , I spent most

of the 9 9 minutes it las ted w o n d e r i n g

what c o u l d have dr i ven Ernest Leh

man to make the f i lm in the first p lace

and what w o u l d dr i ve anybody to see

it.

I guess they 're hop ing i t ' l l be the

posters d e c l a r ing that " P o r t n o y ' s

Comp la in t is c a t c h i n g " . Of course ,

this p resupposes that you know what

Por tnoy ' s C o m p l a i n t is , and that if

you don ' t y o u ' l l be d r i v en by a m a n i c

des i re to f ind out. Reve la t ions ensue .

W e l l , there 's th is guy c a l l e d A l ex

ander Por tnoy (R i cha rd Ban jam in , no

I hadn ' t heard of fvm either) w h o s

the Ass i s t an t C o m m i s s i o n e r of H u m a n

Oppor tun i ty for the C i t y of N e w York

(whatever that i s ) . A n d w e meet h ; m

ly ing on a psych ia t r i s t ' s c o u c h , re

count ing the history of h is comp la in t

and its effects.

H i s c omp la in t is sexua l obs e s s i on ,

and M r . Lehman g ives us a thousand

or two feet of c e l l u l o i d ins ight into

his teenage years as an inveterate

masturbator in his fami ly of self-suff-

ar ing mother, c o n s t i p a t i o n — s u f f e r i n g

father and o b e s i t y — s u f f e r i n g s is ter .

W h a t happens to h i m between the

ages of 16 and 3 3 is anyone ' s guess ,

for by an ever -con fus ing sys t em of

f l a shbacks that 's where w e f ind h ' m

next, p i ck ing up the M o n k e y , a l i a s

M a r y Jane Reed (Karen B lack ) on a

street corner at m idn i gh t . Three

f rames later she " fu l f i l s h is most

exo t i c sex f an ta s i e s " , a c c o r d i n g to

the press r e l e a s e — b u t they don ' t

show you any of that. M i n d y ou , it

needs l i t t le i m a g ' n a t o n to fi l l in the

b lanks in the rest of the f i lm, w h i c h

cons i s t s of shots of them al ternate ly

d r i v ing ac ross open country and mut

ter ing foul r.oth'ngs wh i l s t c u r l e d up

in bed .

T o cut a long and inc red ib l y bor ing

story short , they go on ho l i day in

Europe , just about fal l out, when they

p ick up an Italian g i r l and have a

three-way affair in Rome and fa l l out

comple t e l y the next day in A thens

(fast movers , these Y a n k s ) . He leaves

her threaten ing to jump out of the

w ' n d o w , fl ies back to N Y , and f inds

h m s e l f imag in ing see ing her jump

d o w n at h i m every t ime he looks up

at a b u i l d i n g . S o he w h i p s a long to

the headshr inker . W h i c h is exact ly

whe-e w e star ted .

I f ound the f i lm neither enter ta in

ing nor insp i r ing . Don ' t was te money

on see ing it.

P A U L R O C H F O R T


THE ENVIRONMENTAL

CRISIS

-What it's all really about

p r e s t n t s

W h e n you leave I .C. what are y ou expecting to do?

—get a good job w i th an expanding, science-based i n

dustry, marry , settle down and raise a fami ly i n condi

tions of mater ial comfort — central heating, car,

refrigerator, co lour television, hi- f i , etc. — and then

when you are sixty, or maybe less, retire and l ive out

your last years i n a leisurely and contented manner?

F r a n k l y , you have not got a hope i n hell of succeeding.

Today we live in an era of unprecedented material

affluence; but it cannot last much more than another

twenty years or so in its present form. W h y is this? It is

s imply because there w i l l not be avai lable sufficient

mater ia l resources to make

this possible. The shortage

w i l l part ly arise because

of the growing difficulty

o f meeting the exponent

ia l l y - increasing require

ments of the developed

wor ld out of a finite

reserve. It w i l l be exacer

bated, however, by the

perfectly legitimate and

necessary increase in the

use of raw materials by

the developing countries.

Thus the demand w i l l not

only increase exponenti

a l l y at the rate of ' x ' %

say, but the magnitude of

' x ' is also l iable to in

crease.

The situation is made

even more serious by the

fact that, not only do

enough resources have to

be found to produce the

goods we require, but we

must also find addi t ional

resources to enable us to

contro l the po l lut ion we

thereby generate. Po l l u

t ion of the environment is

something which , not sur

prisingly, we want to e l im

inate; but its prevention is

something which, in con

ventional economic terms,

we shal l be increasingly

unable to afford. We al low

it to occur at our peri l , for

once sufficient quantities

of pollutants are released

to upset the basic proces

ses of the biosphere, there

is really no knowing what

the effects w i l l be on the

various forms of life on

the planet, inc luding our

selves and the plants and

animals on which we rely

for our food. Indeed it

appears f rom recent re

search 1 that some of the

most fundamental bio-

spheric processes are only

just being discovered, let

alone understood in suffi

cient depth to enable us to

predict how easily they

may be disturbed, or what

the resulting effects w i l l

be !

Thus the environmental

crisis is not merely a col

lection of localised, un

related problems such as

pol lut ion, noise, shr inking

countryside, etc., wh i ch it

is just convenient to lump

together under one head

ing. It is m u c h more fun

damental than this, and is

basically concerned with

the material constraints

placed by nature upon

mankind 's efforts to pro

gress towards a more ideal

world. Th is is in sharp

contrast to conventional

pol i t ical ideologies which

are mostly concerned with

the human constraints.

Things have come to a

head because industrial

c iv i l isat ion has for too long

al lowed itself to accept in

a relatively uncrit ical man

ner, as a measure of what

is good, the rate of in

crease of material wealth.

Th is has been a workable

standard unt i l now because

our demands upon the

earth's resources have been

easily satisfiable. Such a

situation cannot, by defin

ition, continue for ever

and we are now in the un

comfortable posit ion of

seeing that, having due re

gard to the pol it ical reali

ties of the wor ld today, a

major disrupt ion of the

growth process is going to

occur wel l wi thin the life

time of present-day stud

ents.

Needless to say, such a

perturbation wi l l have

colossal economic and

pol i t ical repercussions. 1

may have given the i m

pression earlier that the

'environmental thesis' can

be regarded as an alterna

tive to conventional po l i

tical ideologies; if so I

apologise. F o r any pol i t i

ca l theory to be complete

it must obviously have due

regard to both the physical

and human realities of the

current wor ld situation.

What , therefore, does the

environmental argument

imply in terms of the con

ventional left-right polit ical

debate?

First let us deal on a

global scale. If one asks

the average intelligent per

son in this country how

they can justify l iv ing in

conditions of material

affluence whilst the major

ity of the world's popula

t ion l i v e s i n relative

poverty, they w i l l proba

bly say something to the

effect that, life being what

it is, c iv i l isat ion develops

in some areas faster than

i n others and that we

needn't really worry about

being so r ich since the

poorer countries w i l l i n

time develop and catch us

up. One of the most i m

portant po l i t i ca l effects of

the environmental argu

ment is that it exposes this

idea for the absolute non

sense that it is. The poorer

countries of the wor ld have

no hope of a l l s imultan

eously enjoying the present

European-type standard of

l iv ing since there are not

nearly sufficient resources

to enable them to do this.

O f course we must not

make the mistake of

assuming that a l l the

peoples of the wor ld w i l l

necessarily want to de

velop i n the same indus

tr ia l manner as today's

'developed' countries have.

However, it is apparent

that very many countries

are intent on doing just

this, and that they are

being greatly encouraged

in their efforts by the de

veloped world. Further

more it would be cruelly

unrealistic to deny that the

developing countries w i l l

have to greatly increase

their use of resources

s imply in order to br ing

their mater ia l standard of

l iv ing up to a m i n i m u m

acceptable level.

A s far as pol i t ics wi th in

the developed wor ld is con

cerned, the environmental

argument totally trans

cends the conventional

left-right dichotomy. It has

been suggested, rather i r

responsibly 1 th ink, that

the environmental crisis

has been caused solely by

capi ta l ism and that al l we

have to do is to change to

a socialist system and the

problem wi l l automatical ly

disappear. Th is is not true

since the problem can only

be solved by abandoning

the ideal of non-stop econ

omic growth in material

terms, and not merely by

changing the way in which

the fruits of our labours

are distributed. Th i s of

course does not mean that

the left-right argument is

now irrelevant or unneces

sary. It w i l l natural ly re

main arguable as to what

is the most favourable

po l i t ica l system under

which to come to terms

with the present crisis.

1 have not covered here

every aspect of the prob

lem by any means and I

hope to discuss some other

issues, part icular ly that of

populat ion growth, i n a

further article.

M I K E R O B S O N

(Chem. P.G.)

I.C. Eco -Ac t i on .

' J . E . L o v e l o c k e t a l . , N a t u r e 1973, 241 , 194 a n d

r e f s . t h e r e i n .

M y last ' "Broadsheet - in-Fe l ix " article stimulated a

response I d i d not anticipate and which J had intended

to ignore on two grounds. F irst ly , I do not l ike to, or

wish to, indulge i n pointless derogatory and back-bi t ing

remarks about anyone but prefer to present my point

of v iew and facts i n a relatively straightforward manner

without attacking any part icular ind iv idua l . M y last

article was not a imed at anyone specifically and if

people felt" certain facts had been omitted they cou ld

have merely said what these were (any other remarks

would surely be irrelevant to the point of the article).

Secondly, I refuse to get involved in a chi ld ish "s lang-

ing -match" that wou ld only serve to waste Fe l i x space

and bore the rest of its readers. I shal l therefore merely

answer the points raised i n the guildsheet article and

curious letter that appeared last week, without being

too nasty, and hope the matter Will subsequently be

dropped (with the exception of new developments of

course).

The letter by M r . van Weaselgrope is hardly worth

commenting on, not only because of its obvious lack of

seriousness, but because the writer has not the courage

of his convict ions and is too coward ly to put his own

name to his l iterary excreta, but prefers to s l ing his

m u d and hide behind some pseudonym. I shall remark

however that the "revenge squad " that took the records,

files, etc., had not indulged in a mascotry ra id before

and merely desired to annoy those concerned by re

moving these articles wh ich were prompt ly returned

within half an hour wi th apologies. A n y damage in

curred in a ra id was of course accidental (not deliberate

as was claimed) and I notice when guilds retrieved the

shields they were not reluctant to leave the R .C .S . office

in a mess by knock ing things over and pinching copies

of the latest Broadsheet (which they would have received

anyway, even though they have difficulty finding some

one in guilds who can read).

Th is brings me onto the guildsheet article, I 'm glad

to see Broadsheet is no longer the only C . C . V . pub l i ca

t ion to respond to the Fe l i x editor's request for regular

opinion articles and hope that i n future guildsheet w i l l

have something to say that is worth reading (unlike the

monotonous format and low standard of guildsheet

itself). I was a little puzzled at the fact that the editor

did not write the article (although judging by what I've

seen of guildsheet I doubt that i t has one) and instead

this was done by a gentleman who apparently dates

bearded young ladies (I draw this conclusion f rom the

fact that he was uncertain of my sex at the start of the

article but managed to guess right by the end—wel l

done, sir!). I also wondered why this article was on the

sports page, considering the unnecessarily nasty com

ments it contained, its hardly cr icket, is it chaps? Per

haps they are trying to initiate a new s p o r t — R o n bash

ing! We l l , M r . Hanson should "get his facts r ight " , had

not the guilds twats i n their office attempted to throw

one of our val iant lads over the balcony to the ground

some ten feet below then perhaps their cheap ashtray

would not have got broken in the scuffle. Admi t ted ly ,

some letters for the guilds float got broken, but M r .

Hanson has exaggerated the actual number f rom four

to his "b reak ing half the letters".

I forgot to mention that the R .C .S . sign W A S seen

by our lads i n the infamous glass cabinet but no attempt

to retrieve it was made since the cabinet was locked.

Perhaps I should add that the shields are sti l l in our

possession as is M r . Newman's (guilds president) hat

fo l lowing the M o r p h y Day antics and that mysterious

V . C . anchor (beautifully painted in the R .C .S . colours)

was wheeled into the R .C .S . U . G . M . last Tuesday.

The general feeling of those associated wi th Broad

sheet is that mascotry is to be encouraged as long as it

is done by "sleight of h a n d " and does not degenerate

into open warfare, which was regrettably becoming the

case at the end of last term. 1 therefore hope that any

developments this term are of a more sedate and sophis

ticated manner.

R O N A P P L E B Y (Broadsheet Edi tor ) .

Feelsick No. 327, Tuesday February Sicks 1973 were Edited by Oliver Dowson F. with implicated, as well, Ron Apple bee, Martin Black, Alasdhair Campbell (Vomitoria L.T.D.), Derek Cummings, Arbro Schasm, David Hobman, Graham King, John Lane, Gordon Reece, Pdavid Rose, Michael SMverleaf, John Stares and Steven Swailes. In alphabetical. Not in alphabetical Peter Crawford.

Felix is printed by F. Bailey and Son Ltd.. Dursley, GL1 1 4BL. Advertising is by University Press Representation, Grand Build

ings, Trsfalgar Square, WC2. Felix lives on the third floor of the Union Building, address:

Imperial College Union, London SW7 2BB. telephone 01-589 511 1 ext 2229 (PO), 2881 (Internal). The Editor lives fa Weeks Hall, Room 14, tel. 01-589 9608 (PO), 4236 (Internal). Contributions and help for Felix are always welcome.

Published by the Editor for and on behalf of the Imperial College Union Publications Board.

All rights reserved (g) 1973. Felix is a founder member of the London Student Press

Association.

a poem Double your pleasure

Double your fun

Get FELIX and read about

Mart Doughty's bum.

We used to say

That poem at school.

Only with different

Words then.

The weekly article

From Martin D. is a

Sight for sore eyes.

A spark of genius

In a

Literary oasis.

As my mate Keith

Used to say.

He got a call while on

Nightline

The other night

(my mate Keith that is)

Putting aside his Beano

He listened to someone

Depressed

By the lack of soul

And art

Here at IC.

I think that's it

In a nutshell.

Scientists are

Scientists

A nd poets and artists

A re poets and artists.

Ah well. It takes all

Sorts I suppose.

W i t h apo log i es to E. J . "

T h r i b b (17)

A L A S D H A R C A M P B E L L

ON DEMOS Last Wednesday a very

successful demonstrat ion

was held by students f rom

Thames Po ly and E r i t h

Poly. They marched f rom

U L U to the D E S by

Water loo station shouting

"Gran ts U p " , "Thatcher

O u t " , "Tor ies O u t " and

" C a n you live on £275

p.a. M r s . Thatcher? " . Or

ganised by rank and file

act ion committee, many

were angry at the lack of

leadership which N U S

had given. A l l they were

told was that they would

not get much support, and

that they should wait for

the day of act ion on Feb

ruary 21st. M a n y of them

being on discretionary

awards or getting no

grants at a l l , they were

not deterred.

There are people at I C

who say the same about

our demo tomorrow, but

we w i l l not be deterred

either. The rapid price i n

creases and the effects of

the growing trade war, the

possible cancellation of

Concorde and the subse

quent cutback in jobs for

technologists make it es

sential that we come out

now to defend our demo

cratic rights. A l l students

who want to help make

this the most successful

campaign ever and wish

to steward, make banners

or help w i th mass leaflet-

ing on Wednesday morn

ing should contact the

Un i on Office.

P E T E G I L L E T T

February 8th, 1973 F E L I X Page 7

FE£IX FINANCIA££Y

goes shopping

for a Bank!

DEREK CUMMINGS will be delivering the second of his four

General Studies lectures today at 1.30 p.m. in Physics Lecture

Theatre 1. (More than just a lecture, quite an experience in fact!).

Today he'll be grilling — and inviting you to grill — a leading

building society manager. If you think you're ever likely to buy a

house, you owe it to yourself to drop everything and go to the

lecture. See you there!

This week FELIX FINANCIALLY is

going to lower its sights just a little.

When the idea of a financial page

was first conceived, our intention was

to cover the whole spectrum of

money problems and particularly to

try to clarify some of the more ob

scure points we are all likely to run up

against when we set out into the wide

world beyond the comforting walls of

Imperial College.

We've talked about such things as

isurance policies, home loans, house

prices and other related problems that

we are bound to face in the future.

A n d , thanks to our financial adviser

DEREK E. C U M M I N G S , we think we

have covered the field in a more than

usually refreshing and interesting

way.

In this issue, however, we felt we

ought to get down to the ground floor

and have a look at where most of our

money comes from. So we're going to

talk about banks and bank managers.

It happens that they are the sub

jects about which DEREK E. C U M -

MINGS will be speaking when he de

livers the third of his General Studies

lectures on February 13.

This lecture will be of interest to

anyone who has ever crossed swords

with a bank manager (and I imagine

most of us could show a few scars

from that particular battle) since Cum

mings' guest that day will be the man

ager of a bank less than a mile away

from I.C.

His name is Roger Roseboom. We

think he's a bank manager with a dif

ference: a man who has the almost

revolutionary view that banks — or

rather his bank — should be in the

business of helping people rather than

just counting their money or writing

smoothly insulting notes when they're

a pound overdrawn.

He's coming along to answer your

questions about banks and their man

agers — how they work, how they

think, their attitudes towards stu

dents and so on.

He'll lend an ear next Tuesday and

— who knows? — he might even

lend you some money one day. But

he's a shrewd cookie and he'll be

looking for some penetrating ques

tions.

But before we put him in the hot

seat, we asked our man' to give us his

ideas on what banks and bank mana

gers ought to be about.

There ' s no ques t i on about it, bank

ing is a l ove ly bus ine s s . It makes

money on a l l s i d e s . O n the one hand

they take your money and keep it for

y ou — a n d then invest it to make a

l i t t le profit for themse l v e s . O n the

other h a n d , they l end you money —

and charge you interest on the loan .

It's marve l l ous . T h e y can ' t lose.

O K , that ' s a very s i m p l i s t i c v i e w of

a c o m p l i c a t e d o r g a n i s m . But very

often the s i m p l e approach revea ls the

fact of a matter . A n d it is t rue. B a n k s

do make money out of money , w he t h

er guard ing it or l end ing it.

But , pu r su ing the s i m p l e approach

makes it obv i ous that banks w o u l d n ' t

even be in bus iness if it were not for

the ir cus t omer s . C u s t o m e r s are not

just important to them, they ' re abso

lute ly e ssen t i a l .

So a l l o f y ou w i t h bank accoun ts

ought to th ink about that, for a start.

L ike K i t chene r ' s a rmy , your bank

needs y o u .

For that r eason , the banks spend

m i l l i o n s on t ry ing to attract c u s t o m

ers. Leaflets, handou ts , pos te rs ,

pamph l e t s , d i sp l a y adve r t i s ements

a n d t e l e v i s i on are a l l weapons they

use to try to get you to put your

money where their mou th is .

M y o w n favour i te approach is in

the c o m m e r c i a l s h o w i n g the happy

home w i t h the bank manager in the

b room c u p b o a r d — if on l y because I

k n o w one or two bank managers I'd

love to lock in a c u p b o a r d and then

lose the key ! But as ide f r om that, th is

ad po ints up a bas i c truth about the

bank ing bus i n e s s , name l y , that your

fortune can depend on your bank

manager as an i n d i v i d u a l .

A n d th is is a ser ious po in t . U n l e s s

you have a lot of money , there are

bound to be o c c a s i o n s when the bank

can he lp you out of a fix. Tha t ' s w h e n

you have to w a l k into the bank and

face the manager . P r o v i d i n g y o u r

needs are not outrageous , i t 's o d d s

on that he c o u l d he lp y ou , s ince bank

manage rs have a large degree of

au t onomy and can lend fa i r ly subs tan

t ia l amounts of money w i thou t ref

erence to anyone e lse .

But w i l l he help you?

It depends on the man and on y o u .

Af ter a l l , y ou chose h i m , d i d n ' t y ou?

W h e n you opened your first bank

accoun t , you c o u l d have gone to any

bank in the l and .

If your m a n turns you d o w n on

what you feel is a reasonab le request ,

then there 's on l y one c o n c l u s i o n .

Y o u ' v e chosen the w r o n g bank m a n

ager.

The answer to that is to shop

a r o u n d . G o to a bank and have a chat

w i t h the manager before you open an

account . T a l k to h i m , te l l h i m your

s i tua t i on and wha t sort of se rv i ces

you expec t f r om the bank. A s k h i m

ques t i ons , pose a p r o b l e m or two .

Y o u ' l l s oon f ind out whether he 's your

sort of b l oke . If he i s n ' t — l e a v e .

Remember that, in your search, you

have one factor working for you. In

a highly competitive situation, where

all banks are going out of their way to

attract custom, they have been forced

to change their traditional outlook.

These days, they have to make them

selves more attractive to the public.

They have to be prepared to lend

money on much less secure grounds

than they previously demanded. And

the decisions on questions like that

rest firmly with the man in the back

room—the manager.

They have the powers. The trouble

is that so many of them cannot be

bothered to use them, to take the

risks, to back their judgment. Luckily,

a lot of those gents in striped pants

and black coats are being pensioned

off and replaced by younger men with

a younger outlook.

Which type you choose is entirely

your concern. It's as simple as that.

And it's not only a question of be

ing able to borrow a few quid, is it?

An intelligent and aware bank man

ager will be a man with whom you

can confidently discuss the whole

range of money matters.

B a n k s have learned some pa in fu l

l e ssons in the past f ew years . They ' v e

seen a lot of the ir bus iness s i p h o n e d

off by s u c h ins t i tu t ions as merchant

banks and the f inance houses . They

got into the bus iness w h i c h the banks

ought to have m o n o p o l i s e d . In fact ,

the banks a l l o w e d it to go by de faul t ,

s i m p l y because they weren ' t p repared

to take the r i sks .

But these days, they're right back

into it. So why sign a hire purchase

agreement at an inflated rate of real

interest when you might be able to do

it more cheaply with a bank loan?

Af te r a l l , a bank is just another

s h o p — e x c e p t that it s e l l s c a s h . W h y

on earth s h o u l d n ' t y ou , the cus tomer ,

feel ent i t l ed to use it on those t e rms?

// you don't do that, the reason

probably is that your bank manager

doesn't encourage you to do so.

If you're in that situation, leave

him to go on sending out his little

overdraft notes and go and find a

manager who knows what modern

banking is all about.

Look at it th is way . If you went to

a doc to r w i t h a broken a rm and he

p r e s c r i b ed a s p i r i n , y o u ' d s oon f ind

another doGtor, w o u l d n ' t y o u ?

A s w i t h m e d i c i n e , so w i t h f inance .

A l l the fac i l i t i e s you are l ike ly to need

are there — s o m e w h e r e . Y o u have to

f ind them. Or rather, f ind the man

w h o is prepared to make them ava i l

ab le to y o u . , .

A n d that means go ing s h o p p i n g —

for a bank manager .

Just out of interest, FELIX

FINANCIALLY took DEREK E.

C U M M I N G S at his word. We

went to talk to a bank manager

—Roger Roseboom himself.

These are some of the things he

said:

"As I see it, banks have a

duty to offer a real service to

their customers, whether they be

students, property developers or

old age pensioners. And by ser

vice I mean more than just tak

ing their money and making

them wait in line to cash a

cheque. Service means listening

to and trying to understand their

problems and then, if it is in any

way possible, helping them to

solve them. That, I think, is a

bank manager's prime responsi

bility to his customer.

"Now students. You ask what

my bank can offer a student that

another bank cannot. And the

answer is very little. Any bank

can offer the same facilities.

Whether they are used depends

on the manager.

"What I offer any student is

an intelligent dialogue and a

willingness to help them in the

best way I can. We want stud

ent accounts—every bank does.

We realise that today's student

is tomorrow's man of property.

If any student from Imperial Col

lege came to me and made it

clear he had worked hard to get

there, was working hard to get

his degree and was going to

make the grade when he left

college, I'd jump at the chance

to get his account in my bank.

I'd give him a cheque book and

a cheque card to back it with.

I'd handle his account without

charges—although I would have

to charge interest on any sum

overdrawn, naturally. And when

summer term came and times

were hard, I'd be prepared to

listen if he wanted something to

tide him over. I'd make it quite

clear that I wouldn't expect him

to go and blue the money on a

new tape recorder, but if he was

sensible and impressed me when

talking across my desk, I'd very

likely be able to help. I already

have a number of student

accounts, and I think I've been

fair with them all.

"It's my job to listen to prob

lems and to try to unravel them.

After all, a talk with your bank

manager ought not to be like

an audience with the Pope. I

like to see my customers. I

make my judgements on them

through meeting them face to

face and I'll back my judgment

every time.

"That's what a bank mana

ger's job is all about".


o c k e / MARTINS Last Saturday the 1st and 3rd X I s travelled to Har

row by a team coach. However, this coach was delayed

for forty minutes whilst a l l those who had brought cars

to go in found somewhere to park them. F r o m the

start trouble was evident, since the strongmen of the

committee, R o n Pa 'mer and M i c k Downs, had to per

suade the driver that Har row means Stanmore. No t

to be outdone got well and truly lost in Har row —

or was it Stanmore?

Things then became more confused as the two

teams had to be dropped off at two different grounds.

We l l the 3rd X I were taken to the door, but the 1st X I

— even wi th the help of an A - Z — had to c l imb over

a rai lway bridge and trundle through muddy fields

before they caught sight of the mud-heap that became

the pitch.

Ment ion here should be made of John Ast ley who

thought it would be better to go by scooter armed

wi th an A - Z . Af ter an even greater tour of H a r r o w

than the coach, John finally found the 3rd X I ground,

but then decided it was too late to try and find the

let X I ; so he went home!

The match itself — shortened due to our late arr iva l

— was very average. Ha r r ow , even wi th an extra

man, d id not live up to expectations as members of

the 1st d iv is ion of the Middlesex League. The first half

ended wi th a blank score-sheet, main ly due to the

home side's erratic shooting.

The second half had some memorable scenes: M i c k

Downs clearing off the goal-l ine w i th everybody else

beat; M i c k Downs — again in defence — wi ld ly swip

ing, but missing the bal l and knobb l ing T i m Hansen's

shins. H e even swore after the match he wasn't pissed

the night before.

The final score was 1 — 1 C o l i n Dyer scoring for I C

after a fluff by the keeper. The equaliser by H a r r o w

fol lowed a free hit f rom just outside the circle.

T eam: S. Bou l ton ; R. Cameron, R . Palmer; B.

Evans, T. Hanson , G . Popple; A . Tatche l l , M . Downs,

J . Gah i r , C . Dyer.

R u m o u r has it that the 2nd X I lost 3—0 and the 3rd

X I drew 1—1, John Andrews being the scorer; but

rumour of the result of last Wednesday's 1st X I match

against Brune i st i l l has to seep through to darkest

C lapham. Doesn't anybody know where the Math ' s

letter racks are?

Af ter last week's report M i c k Downs demanded an

apology for his ment ion but I move that he should

dr ink a pint of Heineken since he arranged a Sunday

morn ing match wh ich was cal led off by the opposit ion

— a fact 1 d id not learn unt i l I arrived at Har l ing ton .

motor sport

Readers of other C o l

lege publ icat ions w i l l have

noticed that I a m once

again contr ibut ing to

B R O A D S H E E T (wotzat?

— E d ) . If the editors of

any other publications

guildsheet for example

want to improve the whole

tone of their periodical

they should drop me

note (preferably blue with

a picture of H M the

Queen, V i s i t o r to Imper ia l

College) and I w i l l see

what can be done.

o n p a r k i n g

There is insufficient

space for a l l those stu

dents who have park ing

stickers to park their cars.

Therefore no permits w i l l

be issued until further

notice.

o n Wint Wine w i l l be sold by the

bottle in Southside Bar .

There w i l l be a good se

lection of low and

medium - priced w i n e s

which should compete

with W A I T . . . sorry

loca l shops.

The College Cel lars are

very wel l stocked and it is

possible to purchase wine

in bu lk — at a discount

(my boy?) Fur ther details

and list f rom M r . V i c t o r

M o o n e y (int. 2878).

o n p o o ^ t

B y the time you read

this, the new improved

Col lege B l o c k Bar should

be open and serving a

wide range of ales.

Rentawe ld Treasure H u n t

R a l l y

The ever active Gu i lds

M o t o r C l u b held a Trea

sure H u n t R a l l y i n the

wi lds of Hertfordshire on

F r i day evening (2nd Feb

ruary). E leven enthusiastic

crews set out f rom the

start near Windsor , and

ten managed to find the

finish.

The infamous Perry

Newton had to be rescued

at one point as his car

took to the water l ike a

d u c k — i t loved going in ,

but wouldn ' t come out

again. M a r t C l emow man

aged to find more mud

than anyone else, but man

aged to finish.

The ra l ly was won by

Simon Briscoe (again!)

w i th J o h n C o x o n and

Pete W i l k ins second and

third, and the majority of

crews seemed to have en

joyed the event.

v L es W i l k in s M . E . 3 .

GIRL wanted to share large room in comfortable self-contained flat. £25 per cal. mth. Call at Flat 15, 19 Courtfield Road, SW7 any evening (top flat).

STUDENT WORLD B I R M I N G H A M U N I V E R S I T Y has

now decided to come out on Rent Strike,

despite a decision of last term not to do

so. The result, however, is disappoint

ing: only one of the seven halls has come

out in support. The Communicat ions

Secretary of the University U n i o n told

a Fe l i x reporter i n early January that

each hal l 's J C R had indiv idual ly voted

against strike act ion; it wou ld seem that

they are st icking to that decision. " R e d

b r i ck " , their newspaper, was the only

other in the country besides " F e l i x " to

run a special Rent Strike issue at the

start of term.

LEEDS UNIVERSITY halls have

been plagued by hordes of Assurance

salesmen — one hall had no less than

seven visits last Sunday alone. "Leeds

Student" names the firms as the Gradu

ate Assurance Bureau, Lynn Assurance

Services and the University Assurance

Service, which are not known to operate

in Imperial College.

N O T T I N G H A M halls seem to be los

ing a lot of glasses — so one of them

has set up a deposit system for half and

pint glasses. The deposit is lOp, refund

able on return of the glass . . . but it

looks as if the hall could lose out, as

there is nothing to stop people collecting

glasses f rom elsewhere and c la iming the

deposit !

SUSSEX UNIVERSITY staff and

students are complaining that the inter

disciplinary teaching system is being dis

carded. The scheme involves teaching

science to arts people and arts to science

people. One of the problems is that there

are more arts than science students.

L A N C A S T E R students N i n a Thomas

and Geoffrey Foote, banned f rom attend

ing pol i t ical meetings o n campus for

disrupting a right-wing meeting, have

withdrawn their appeals to the V i ce -

Chancel lor , Charles Carter.

OPEN UNIVERSITY applicants

number more than 10,000 . . . even

though they are now only six weeks into

their six-month enrolment period.

The Steering Committee of the N U S

S T U D E N T J O U R N A L I S T S ' C O N

F E R E N C E to be held i n L o n d o n i n

A p r i l voted last week to abol ish a l l

awards for student newspapers, maga

zines and journalists at once, and there

w i l l thus be no Paper of the Y e a r o r

Journal ist of the Y e a r this year. The

Committee, made up of about ten edi

tors f r om around the country, has set up

sub-committees to investigate the setting

up of a Nat iona l Student Press Service

and a Nat ional Space Brokerage for

advertising.

SPECIAL SERVICES FOR STUDENTS

Cheap Weekend Coach Travel from London to :

Bath Birmingham Bradford Bristol Leeds

Leicester Loughborough Manchester

Nottingham Sheffield Salford

Evan Evans Tou r s L td . of R u s s e l l Square , London have m a d e

app l i c a t i ons to in t roduce w e e k e n d se r v i c es f r om London to the t o w n s

s h o w n , to be opera ted dur ing un ivers i t y t e rms at the fares s h o w n be l ow .

BATH

BIRMINGHAM BRADFORD ... BRISTOL LEEDS

LEICESTER ...

LOUGHBOROUGH MANCHESTER NOTTINGHAM SHEFFIELD ... SALFORD

T i m e

f r o m

L o n d o n

F r i d a y

1 4 3 0

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T i m e

f r o m

P r o v i n c e s

S u n d a y

2 0 5 0

1 9 4 5

1 8 0 0

2 0 1 5

1 8 3 0

2 0 4 0

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1 8 1 5

1 9 4 5

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1 7 4 5

P r o p o s e d

s t u d e n t

F a r e

W e e k e n d

R e t u r n

£1 .00

£1 .00

£1 .50

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£ 1 . 1 0

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T H E S E P R O P O S A L S C A N O N L Y C O M E INTO B E I N G W I T H Y O U R

S U P P O R T . If you are interes ted in suppor t ing these app l i c a t i ons , p lease

he lp by c o m p l e t i n g the c o u p o n b e l o w a n d p l a c i n g it in one of the large

enve lopes m a r k e d " E V A N E V A N S T O U R S " a t tached to co l l ege not i ce -

boards I M M E D I A T E L Y .

I a m a ful l t ime s tudent and I a m interested in the spec i a l w e e k e n d

se rv i ce to (p lease fill in town of interest

to you) and w o u l d expec t to use the serv i ce on

o c c a s i o n s per t e rm if g ranted .

N A M E

A D D R E S S

C O L L E G E

E V A N E V A N S T O U R S LIMITED

7 2 / 7 4 RUSSELL S Q U A R E , L O N D O N W C 1 H O J Z

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