HPC 3O Parenting

Deciding to Parent

Source: Cunningham, Mary K., Eva Meriorg, Laura Tryssenaar. 2003. Parenting in Canada. Toronto: Thomson Nelson.

Why Decide to Parent?

• To nurture a new generation

Parental Leave• In 2001 federal government changed policy

• Parental leave available for one full year

• Can be divided between parents or taken by one parent

Commitment• Continues after child grows up

• Financial support: schooling, business and household start-up, debt repayment

• Emotional support: encouragement, advice, listening

• Adult children sometimes return home: unemployment, divorce, illness, drug rehabilitation

Making the Decision to Parent• Even if a child is unplanned, the arrival is

a result of CHOICES

• To have sexual relations – the only method of birth control that is 100% effective is abstinence

• Abortion

• Adoption

Informed Decision Making• Weigh the advantages, disadvantages, and consequences of

becoming a parent

• Remember every situation is different

• Making an informed decision, is usually a good decision

Informed Decision Making• Consider what you

want to do in your life prior to children

• Travel

• Education

• Expensive hobbies

• Save money

A Decision Web

Am I ready to be a parent

now?

Do we have the right skills and

attitudes?

Do we have the time and energy?

How do our families and friends feel about

children?

Do we enjoy being with children?

Are we physically and

emotionally ready?

Can we afford a child?

Will my partner share the

responsibility?

Factors Influencing the Decision to Parent

Social and Cultural Influences• Before becoming a parenting Canada, youth is

pressured to • stay in school

• get a reliable income

• establish a strong relationship before becoming a parent

Factors Influencing the Decision to Parent

Education• Learning opportunities in

many areas – including parenting

• Higher education opens doors to more interesting and higher paying jobs

• Longer a person stays in school the less likely they are to experience unemployment

Factors Influencing the Decision to Parent

Finances• Financial problems can strain single parents and couples

• Can effect parent-child relationship

• Being a parent means more time away from paid work and more expenses

Factors Influencing the Decision to Parent

Parenting Partnership• Advantages:

– If one parent is tired or ill, the other can take over

– Children can see more than one perspective

– Children learn communication skills by watching their parents

Factors Influencing the Decision to Parent

Personal Maturity• Emotionally and intellectually mature people tend

to be considerate, respectful, and responsible

• Able to establish healthy family atmosphere

Factors Influencing the Decision to Parent

Age• Women are most fertile between

mid-twenties and mid-thirties

• Before 19, the body is still growing, so women compete with growing fetus for nutrients

• Complications and birth defects higher for women older than mid-thirties or in teen years

• For men, the production and quality of sperm deteriorates with age

Factors Influencing the Decision to Parent

Health• Physical and mental health

important because pregnancy and child rearing are stressful

• Substance use and abuse can effect child’s growth – even before conception

• Consider inherited diseases and birth defects that may be passed onto children

Factors Influencing the Decision to Parent

Life Experience• Difficult experiences in

life – such as abuse, incest, or buried anger – need to be addressed before having children

• People tend to imitate their parent’s parenting styles

How will life change if I become a parent?

Lifestyle Changes

• Babies determine how life is lived:– Eat when hungry– Awaken to be fed or

changed throughout night– Teething– Bed-wetting– Colds, fevers– Nightmares– Equipment spilling into

every room – toys, diapers, bedding, clothing…

Lifestyle Changes

• How will life change?

– Serious upheaval for couples

– Time to be alone

– Personal interests

– Intimacy

– Privacy

Couples who have thought about and planned forparenting are often able to face this stressful time moresuccessfully than those who have not.

Pleasures of Parenthood

Pleasures of Parenthood

Advantages of Delaying Parenthood

• Complete education• Begin careers• Get relationships off to a good start

Disadvantages of Delaying Parenting

• Your biological clock is ticking!

• Optimal childbearing years do not last forever

• In late 40s men’s production of sperm is reduced

• Younger parents are more energetic

• Infertility may be the result of delaying parenting for too long

• Medical intervention is stressful, expensive, and has a high failure rate

Remaining Childless

• Focus on other aspects of life

• Take pleasure in caring for other people

Adoption• Not as many children available for adoption

because many young mothers keep their children or terminate their pregnancy

• Many families look to overseas adoption – which can be expensive

Questions• Community Circle:

Share with the class three goals or dreams that you want to accomplish before having a child (or another child). Describe two life goals you want to share with children.

• What are the advantages and disadvantages of delaying parenthood?

Responsibilities of Parenthood• Parents are responsible

for how their children act in public

• Ensure they get along with and respect others

• Learn right and wrong• Parents are continually

modeling behaviour to their children

Challenges For Working Parents

Meal Planning• Takes time to shop and

prepare healthy meals

• Processed and packaged foods are easier to prepare, but poor in nutrients and high in calories and fat

• Get children involved in food preparation

Challenges For Working ParentsTime Management• Establish routines:

– Morning activities: brushing teeth, breakfast, getting dressed, etc.

– Schedule parent-child time after school on a regular basis– Plan for family time each weekend

Challenges For Working Parents

Caring for a Sick Child• Most child-care places

refuse to take sick children

• May need to take time off work when children are ill – or arrange for alternate childcare, i.e.: neighbours, or family members

Challenges For Working Parents

• Before and After School Child Care• Working parents will need to arrange care for their children until they

are either 10 or 12 years old• Options:

– Community Programs• Local schools, churches, or community centers may offer child-care that

costs less than full time child-care

– School-Age Child-Care Programs• Child-care centers may offer after-school programs if children can get there

safely• May be offered at school

– Family Home Child Care• Often offered by a stay-at-home-parent with child of a similar age• Not usually provincially approved

Review

• Community Circle: Describe three to five life experiences that you have had that will affect how you will parent in the future.

Video

• Teen Epidemic Part 1

• Teen Epidemic Part 2

• Teen Epidemic Part 3

• Teen Epidemic Part 4

• Teen Epidemic Part 5

• Teen Epidemic Part 6

• Teen Epidemic Part 7