EYE LEVEL

by

Josh Vogel

333 W State St. Apt. 5

Mason City, IA 50401

(641) 425-0869

jvogs24@hotmail.com

ACT I

FADE IN

INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY

STUDENTS wander the locker-lined hall of a school. At

the end of the hall we see the back of CADE CAVERLY, an

average high school freshman holding BOOKS. Cade appears

oblivious to KWAN, a short but talkative Korean-American

standing between him and a HALF-SIZE LOCKER.

KWAN

Dude, so not what she meant.

LEVI, a fellow classmate fitting the popular jock mold,

approaches from behind and purposely BUMPS into Cade -

causing Cade to DROPS his books.

LEVI

(arrogantly)

My bad, Teeny Weeny. Didn't see ya.

Kwan talks non-stop as he helps pick up books, and we

realize socially awkward Cade is very aware of the

world:

CADE (V.O.)

If you knew both my parents are

dwarves, you might think that's why

Levi called me teeny weeny. I wish it

was that simple.

INT. CAVERLY KITCHENS - MORNING

QUICK CUTS of a home designed for varying heights, with

STEP LADDERS, LIGHT SWITCH EXTENSIONS, etc.

Cade sits at the kitchen table as his father MARK, tough

but with a mischievous side, reads a PAPER. His WALLET

lays on the table. Cade's bubbly mother, TAMI, finishes

making WAFFLES.

CADE (V.O.)

It all started a few days ago, when I

begged my parents not to drop me off on

my first day at a new school.

Tami brings a plate over to Cade.

TAMI

Here's your waffle hon.

2.

CADE

Why can't I just walk again?

Mark looks up from his paper.

MARK

Maybe we should let him. He might bulk

up carrying all those books.

(to Cade, with an arm

flex)

The girls love muscle.

Tami shakes her head and cleans up around the kitchen,

as Mark returns to his paper.

TAMI

All these years, and your father still

hasn't figured out why I married him.

MARK

(without looking up)

And why's that again?

Cade smiles he watches Tami silently slips a TWENTY from

out of Mark's wallet.

TAMI

For your money!

MARK

(oblivious)

Ha!

Tami slips the twenty to Cade.

TAMI

(sotto, to Cade)

In case we forgot any fees for your

first day.

CADE

(sotto, to Tami)

Thanks mom.

Tami brings over another waffle, this time for Mark. She

proceeds to cut it up for him.

TAMI

And don't you worry Cade, we'll drop

you right off at the front door so you

can get right in and meet some new

friends!

Tami holds up a piece and feeds it to Mark.

3.

TAMI (CONT'D)

(to Mark)

Do you like the new recipe?

Mark gives a thumbs up as he chews. Tami feeds him a

second piece.

TAMI (CONT'D)

Unless of course you're embarrassed by

us, but I know you're not.

(uncertain)

You're not, are you?

CADE

Of course not!

MARK

(with mouth full)

Of course he's not.

Tami returns to the waffle maker, and Mark gives Cade a

thumbs down as he spits the waffles into a napkin.

CADE (V.O.)

Is there a teenager alive not

embarrassed by their parents?

EXT. SCHOOL PARKING LOT - MORNING

Cade tries to rush out of the CAR, but in his hurry

slams his BACKPACK strap in the door. As Cade yanks at

it, we hear his mother yell from inside the car:

TAMI

Wait!

As Tami gets out from the passenger side and walks

round, Mark ROLLS DOWN THE WINDOW.

MARK

What's the hurry bud?

Cade opens the car door and frees his backpack just as his

mother nears.

TAMI

Oh pumpkin, don't rush off before I get

a chance to kiss you goodbye!

Cade begrudgingly leans down so his mother can more

easily reach his cheek for a kiss. Tami turns to Mark.

4.

TAMI (CONT'D)

Mark, take a picture!

MARK

But I'm all situated with my pedal

extenders.

TAMI

Just take it from there then!

Mark holds up his SMARTPHONE to take the photo.

MARK

Move over so I can get a good angle

here.

TAMI

(loudly to Cade)

Love you dear.

CADE

(much quieter)

Love you too mom.

As Tami walks back around, Mark asks Cade questions.

MARK

Do you have everything you need?

Schedule? Calculator? Contact solution?

You know your eyes act up after gym.

CADE

It's all in my backpack dad.

MARK:

Good. And don't forget, girls love a

little mystery.

(sotto, to Cade)

It's how I got your mom.

WIDEN OUT TO

Shot of lots of kids staring at the car.

CADE

Mystery.

(sighing)

Right.

5.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - MORNING

As Cade looks back and forth with uncertainty between a

SHEET in his hand and his mini locker, he's taken aback

when fast-talking Kwan rushes up.

KWAN

(speedily)

Hi, you must be Cade. Ms. Smilie

designated me to be your buddy. She

said she picked me because you'd feel

more comfortable with someone close to

your height and I'm the shortest one in

the class, but you aren't very short. I

think she thought you were a dwarf like

your parents.

CADE

Wouldn't my height have been on my

physical?

FLASHBACK - ADMINISTRATIVE OFFICE

An uptight administrator, MS. SMILIE, looks over forms.

MS. SMILIE

Well this can't be right! I met his

parents and I'm certain it's genetic.

We'll have to order a special locker.

RESUME SCENE

CADE

(looking at locker)

That explains it.

(then to Kwan)

And you really need to slow down when

you talk.

KWAN

Sorry, my parents say I make up for my

small frame by erupting like a volcano,

only words are my lava. Everyone here

has facebook and twitter but I wish

blogs were still more popular because

you can say so much more with them.

(extending hand)

I'm Kwan by the way.

6.

CADE

(shaking Kwan's hand)

Like Michelle Kwan?

KWAN

It's a popular boys name in Korea

meaning strong, though I'm not very

strong. Michelle Kwan could probably

take me down in one punch.

CADE

If it makes you feel better, she could

probably take me too.

KWAN

(increasing in speed)

Some people here call me Shorty. I

don't mind, but you don't have to call

me that if you think it'd offend your

parents. Would it offend them? They're

dwarves, right? Do you live in a small

house? Can they drive? Wait, I saw them

drop you off. Can they reach the

pedals? Are you adopted? And if not,

how come you're not a dwarf?

CADE

Probably not, yes, no, pedal extenders,

no, it's not always passed down, and

can you please point me to biology

before my brain gets crushed by the

speed of your sound waves?

Kwan points, and Cade walks off in that direction.

KWAN

(sotto)

He made me speechless.

(excited)

I need to update my blog!

INT. CLASSROOM - MOMENTS LATER

MR. FARRINGTON stands at the front of the class, handing

the first person in each row a sheet of paper.

Cade sits in a desk near the back of the class. Next to

him sits the beautiful RACHEL DOUGHERTY, sweet but

witty. She's also Levi's fraternal twin.

7.

MR. FARRINGTON

(dryly)

Welcome class to the world of biology,

where we'll learn how fundamentalists

prove evolution, simply by being

unevolved.

Mr. Farrington points in Cade's direction.

MR. FARRINGTON (CONT'D)

Disagree? Take it up with Hairy.

Cade looks to his side and realizes there is a small

TERRARIUM housing a TARANTULA.

CADE

(under his breath)

Can that thing get out?

RACHEL

You're afraid of Hairy?

CADE

(with shaky voice)

No.

RACHEL

I hear a bite from the Pelinobius

muticus can cause spasms and

hallucinations.

Mr. Farrington overhears and intervenes.

MR. FARRINGTON

Now Rachel, you know Hairy's a

Grammostola Rosea, and he's perfectly

harmless.

Mr. Farrington turns to Cade.

MR. FARRINGTON (CONT'D)

Mr. Caverly, I presume? Would you

prefer a seat up front?

Cade realizes his classmates are laughing at him.

CADE

No, I'm good.

Cade quickly looks back at the tarantula before turning

his nervous attention back to Mr. Farrington.

8.

MR. FARRINGTON

Now, biology is full of surprises. Our

own Mr. Caverly comes from a unique

background himself. Isn't that right?

CADE

Not really. My mom's ancestors are

Norwegian; my dad has Irish and German

in him.

MR. FARRINGTON

(befuddled)

I'm not sure you understood the

question.

As Mr. Farrington continues talking and goes to write on

the whiteboard:

CADE (V.O.)

I knew precisely what he was asking.

FLASHBACK - INT. RECEPTION HALL

A WEDDING RECEPTION. Mark & Tami are dressed as bride

and groom with 90s hairstyles, ready to cut the WEDDING

CAKE but struggling to reach it.

CADE (V.O.)

My parents both have achondroplasia and

adapted as necessary, though

occasionally something got overlooked.

The cake ends up tipping and Tami catches some of it.

The couple laugh as she smears frosting on Mark.

FLASHBACK - EXT. SIDEWALK

A WOMAN in a late 90s outfits looks strangely at a BABY

in a STROLLER that at first appears to be rolling slowly

by itself, until Tami becomes visible.

CADE (V.O.)

It may seem odd my parents have the

same condition when over 200 conditions

cause short stature, but it is the most

common.

FLASHBACK - INT. NURSERY

Mark puts the BABY in a special crib with a side door.

9.

CADE (V.O.)

Having a baby that didn't share their

condition caught them off guard, but

they adjusted.

The baby secure, Mark BUMPS his head on the crib.

CADE (V.O.) (CONT'D)

Mostly.

RETURN TO SCENE

A MALE STUDENT places Hairy the Tarantula on a

daydreaming Cade's desk. Cade's instant reaction is to

slam his heavy BIOLOGY BOOK on the spider.

His classmates look on in shock that the class pet is

dead. Mr. Farrington looks annoyed.

RACHEL

Watch out everyone. New guy's a killer.

Hairy crawls out from under the book, and Cade jumps

away from his chair. The class LAUGHS.

MR. FARRINGTON

Luckily for Mr. Caverly, survival of

the fittest is a misnomer.

The BELL RINGS and the students grab their belongings

and exit, with only a nervous Cade and amused Rachel

lingering behind.

CADE (V.O.)

Mr. Farrington had a point, but I was

beginning to feel like high school

would eat me alive...

CADE'S POV

The tarantula is still on the desk with his possessions.

CADE (V.O.)

...if spiders didn't get to me first.

BACK TO SCENE

Rachel grabs Cade's belongings for him.

10.

RACHEL

If it makes you feel better, I'm

absolutely petrified of guinea pigs.

CADE

(quizzically)

Really?

RACHEL

No.

Rachel walks away, and Mr. Farrington returns Hairy to

the terrarium.

CADE (V.O.)

I'd have a better chance of survival

with the Donner Party.

END OF ACT I

11.

ACT II

INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY

Kwan talks Cade's ear off at Cade's mini-locker when

Rachel walks by, smiling.

CADE (V.O.)

The rest of my first week was equally

humiliating, though I started to feel

as if Rachel liked me anyway.

Levi walks by and throws a FAKE SPIDER onto Cade.

LEVI

Boo!

CADE

(to Kwan)

Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!

As Levi walks off laughing, Kwan picks off the toy.

Seeing it, Cade's face turns beet red. It turns even

redder as he sees Rachel turn away to her other friends.

KWAN

You know, my dad's a hypnotherapist on

the side. If arachnophobia is a problem

for you, I'm sure I could talk him into

giving my new best friend a free

session. He already likes you, you

know.

CADE

He doesn't know me.

KWAN

Sure he does. He read all about you in

my blog!

CADE

I keep forgetting to check that out.

(He's not)

KWAN

I'll e-mail you the link again, and

I'll also send a link to my dad's

hypnotherapy site so you can check him

out.

12.

As Kwan continues to talk about his dad:

CADE (V.O.)

I didn't need a hypnotist to forget my

fears. I needed a magician to make

everyone forget the past two days.

INT. PASTOR'S HOME - DAY

A DOORBELL RINGS. PASTOR PAUL DOUGHERTY, 40s, balding

and jovial, walks towards the door.

CADE (V.O.)

I didn't know it at the time, but my

parents were also trying to find

friends.

PAUL'S POV - THROUGH PEEPHOLE

Paul can't see anyone there and begins to walk off, when

the DOORBELL RINGS again.

RETURN TO SCENE

This time Paul opens the door and is obviously surprised

to see Tami standing with a PIE.

TAMI

Hi, are you Pastor Dougherty?

PAUL

I am.

TAMI

It's so nice to meet you. I'm Tami, and

my family will be joining your church.

PAUL

(lightbulb flashes)

Ah, the Caverly family. Come in!

TAMI

Oh, I can't stay, but you must come to

our house for dinner tonight.

PAUL

I'm not sure Tami. I have two teens,

and it's hard to drag them anywhere.

TAMI

Oh you don't have to tell me. Cade was

my height when he was nine!

13.

PAUL

(chuckles)

Okay. I'll drag the kids to dinner.

(trying to not offend)

And you're sure you have room in your

house for the three of us?

TAMI

Oh, don't you worry about that! Are

house is very accessible by the

diminutively-challenged.

INT. CAVERLY KITCHEN - LATE AFTERNOON

Mark prepares food as an exhausted Cade throws his

backpack down on the table, plopping down.

MARK

Rough first week?

Cade simply nods.

CADE (V.O.)

Rough? It'd been more volatile than

Charlie Sheen's bowels after a bender.

MARK

Did you at least meet any cute girls?

CADE

One.

MARK

Just one? When I was your age, I was

fighting off the girls.

(hushed)

Don't tell your mom.

CADE

I'll just put that one in my back

pocket and keep it there until it's

time to negotiate a raise.

MARK

See, I knew you were my son. But Cade,

I'm telling you, you just have to play

it cool. It's all about the mystery.

Mark turns back to cooking. Cade watches his dad use a

GRIP UTENSIL to grab a seasoning out of his reach.

14.

CADE (V.O.)

My dad sometimes acted like a ladies'

man, but it was really just his way of

showing that his height had no bearing

on his confidence. And he was big into

little people pride.

FLASHBACK - EXT. SIDEWALK

A FEW FRAT GUYS laugh as one approaches Mark holding a

LOLLIPOP.

CADE

He once punched a man in the family

jewels for calling him a munchkin.

MARK

The M words are off limit.

Mark PUNCHES the man in the junk, causing the man to

fall to his knees.

CADE (V.O.)

He really is the perfect height for

that.

FLASHBACK - "SANTA'S WORKSHOP"

Tami, dressed as an ELF, and a MALL SANTA pour a little

whiskey into their hot cocoa, then toast each other.

CADE

My mom, on the other hand, didn't mind

playing into people's stereotypes if it

meant some extra shopping money for the

holidays.

Tami steps through the door of the workshop.

TAMI

Okay, kiddos, Santa's back from break

but I don't know how long my seal will

hold, so let's get this line moving!

BACK TO SCENE

Tami enters the kitchen and sees Cade's belongings all

over the table.

15.

TAMI

Don't leave your books on the table,

dear. We're having company tonight.

CADE

What? Who?

MARK

Pastor Dougherty. We're going to start

going to his church on Sunday. I think

his kids are in your class.

CADE

(to his dad)

You couldn't have said something?

MARK

(shrugging)

I thought you knew.

Cade picks up his books and starts to hurry off.

TAMI

Where are you going?

CADE

(running off)

I need to shower!

TAMI

Hurry, they'll be here soon!

(to Mark)

You didn't tell him so he could shower?

MARK

I didn't realize he was a girl.

CADE (O.S.)

I heard that!

INT. CAVERLY BATHROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Cade takes out his CONTACTS and we see GLASSES sitting

on the sink counter.

INT. CAVERLY KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER

Mark continues cooking and Tami cleans up when they hear

a car pulling up.

16.

TAMI

That's them; they're early!

MARK

(loudly)

Hurry up Cade!

INTERCUT BETWEEN THE BATHROOM & KITCHEN

Cade sings in the shower - badly

CADE

(into it)

Oh oh, I want some more.

Mark and Tami greet Paul and his kids: Rachel & Levi.

Rachel smiles cordially but Levi doesn't even attempt to

hide his disdain for being dragged along.

TAMI

Pastor Dougherty, so glad you could

make it!

PAUL

Please, Tami, call me Paul. And these

are my twins, Rachel and Levi.

Levi rolls his eyes.

TAMI

(noticing)

And aren't they both lovely.

RACHEL

Thank you Mrs. Caverly. Where's Cade?

LEVI

So do you guys, like, work at the

chocolate factory?

Tami automatically extends her arm in front of Mark

before he can do anything. He smiles through his teeth.

RACHEL

You'll have to excuse my brother. He

thinks he's a smart ass, but he's only

half right.

PAUL

(knock it off)

Kids.

17.

MARK

It's fine. Was just a short time ago we

were kids cracking wise ourselves.

LEVI

(sotto, snickering)

Short.

MARK

Cade's showering but will be out soon.

(winking to Rachel)

And now I see why he wanted to clean

up.

A spider crawls up the bathroom wall.

Mark has returned to cooking. Around the table, Tami

entertains the guests. Levi stares at Mark.

TAMI

That sounds lovely Paul.

RACHEL

(sotto, to Levi)

Stop staring.

LEVI

(sotto, to Rachel)

I've never seen one in action.

Rachel jabs Levi in the leg.

LEVI (CONT'D)

OWW!

TAMI

Is everything okay?

LEVI

(grimacing)

Yep. Just a spasm.

(beat)

You were saying?

Done showering, Cade goes to grab his towel.

CADE'S POV

Everything looks FUZZY but there's obviously a large

dark spot on the towel.

18.

BACK TO SCENE

Cade grabs his glasses and realizes that what he sees is

a spider. He throws the towel down, runs, and...

INT. CAVERLY KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS

Tami, Pastor Paul, Levi and Rachel continue to chat when

they hear Cade screaming. Mark turns around.

CADE (O.S.)

Spider, spider, spider, spider, spider!

As everyone else's jaws drop, Mark quickly grabs a DISH

TOWEL from the counter and throws it towards the camera.

THEIR POV

A wet Cade strategically holds the dish towel from his

dad. He's frozen like a deer in headlights, looking

increasingly embarrassed.

LEVI (O.S.)

Someone likes cold showers.

CADE (V.O.)

And like that, my social life had ended

before it begun. So much for winning

girls over with mystery.

END OF ACT II

19.

ACT III

INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - MORNING

Cade walks through the hall as classmates either snicker

or turn away.

CADE (V.O.)

As if it wasn't bad enough my new crush

saw me in the buff, Levi relished

ruining my reputation.

CLOSE SHOT: LEVI

LEVI

I'm telling you, he made Brett Favre's

look like a horse.

BACK TO SCENE

Cade sees a BROKEN RULER, showing just a few inches,

taped to his locker. He sighs, then proceeds to exchange

books for his next class.

CADE (V.O.)

In the hierarchy of the freshmen class,

he was like a Koch brother and I was

just a Wisconsin Democrat. He wasn't

doing me any favors, and everyone knew.

CLOSE SHOT: MR. FARRINGTON

MR. FARRINGTON

I find it fascinating that only one

body part inherited your parents'

dwarfism.

CADE (V.O.)

EVERYONE.

CLOSE SHOT: MS. SMILIE

MS. SMILIE

I hear you showed off your assets the

other day. If I see you streaking here,

I will have to suspend you.

(whispers)

But if you happen to run by Washington

Street, I won't call the police.

20.

RETURN TO SCENE

Cade starts to walk back through the hall. He realizes

Rachel is approaching behind him, and speeds up.

CADE (V.O.)

I avoided Ms. Smilie after that, but

not running into Rachel proved more

difficult.

RACHEL

Hey Cade, wait up!

Cade looks back while continuing to walk quickly and

runs straight into an OPEN DOOR. Rachel grimaces, but

Cade recovers and ducks into the nearby BOY'S RESTROOM.

INT. BOY'S RESTROOM - CONTINUOUS

Cade wets a paper towel to hold to his face when he is

startled by a voice.

KWAN (O.S.)

Man, you look awful!

CADE

(looking around)

Kwan? Where are you?

KWAN (O.S.)

In a stall.

Cade finally spots dangling feet.

CADE

Are you...

KWAN

(interrupting)

Just sitting here. I always get

constipated when the cafeteria serves

chicken nuggets for lunch. I don't

think they're really serving us nuggets

made of chicken.

CADE

Sometime's it's a good thing you talk

fast because I'm pretty sure there was

info in there I didn't want to hear.

21.

KWAN

My dad says the same thing sometimes.

There were just a few guys in here

gossiping about what happened this

weekend. I don't think they knew I was

here, but I've already noticed other

guys have been calling me Shorty less,

so I guess I should thank you.

CADE

You're welcome.

(beat)

How long have you been in here?

KWAN

Thirty-seven minutes.

INT. CAVERLY KITCHEN - THAT AFTERNOON

Cade walks in, bruised and defeated. Mark and Tami

immediately notice Cade's face.

TAMI

Cade! What happened?

MARK

(forming fists)

Let me at the guy.

CADE

Right, because having a dad that's half

my height fight my battles would make

everything better.

Mark and Tami look at each other. Mark shrugs.

TAMI

Cade, we know it's not easy having

parents others might consider

different.

CADE

I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. It's not

you guys. It's Levi.

MARK

(to Tami)

See what happens when you hold me back?

CADE

Oh no, he didn't do this. I ran into a

door. But the other day, what Levi

saw...

22.

TAMI

What dear?

CADE

They're calling me Teeny Weeny.

Mark & Tami are silent a beat then burst into LAUGHTER.

CADE (CONT'D)

It's not funny!

TAMI

I'm sorry honey. It's just... Your dad

and I have been called names our entire

lives, and sometimes the only way to

make it through is to have a sense of

humor about it.

CADE

Like when dad hit a guy?

TAMI

Your dad's a bad example.

MARK

I think it's time we told you the rest

of that story.

FLASHBACK - EXT. STORE PARKING LOT

Tami, with shopping bags in hands, heads to the vehicle

that Mark has pulled up to the curb.

MARK (V.O.)

That wasn't the last time we saw those

guy.

The same frat guy from earlier nears Tami with another

LOLLIPOP.

CADE (V.O.)

What'd you do?

FLASHBACK - MARK'S POV

Mark snaps a photo with his smartphone.

MARK (V.O.)

I sent a photo to the cops.

23.

PHOTO - FRAT GUY GIVING LOLLIPOP TO "GIRL" (TAMI)

FLASHBACK - EXT. FRAT HOUSE

A COP has the frat guy pinned up against a door.

COP

I hear you like giving candy to little

girls.

FLASHBACK - INT. FRAT HOUSE

MUSIC PLAYS at a FRAT PARTY. The same frat guy as before

comes in and turns down the music, and SORORITY GIRLS

start to gather their things.

MARK (V.O.)

No charges were filed, but the cops

kept their eyes on the frat house.

FRAT GUY

Where are you going? The cop will drive

away in a few minutes.

SORORITY GIRL

That's what you always say. Come on

girls, we're going to the Kappa Tau

Gamma house.

MARK (V.O.)

Those guys never bothered us again.

RETURN TO SCENE

CADE

Great, so all I have to do is frame

Levi for a crime.

TAMI

I think what you're father is trying to

say is guys like that will keep

harassing you if they know it gets to

you. You need to be the bigger man and

ignore them.

CADE

I didn't get that from that story at

all.

24.

MARK

Cade, what I'm saying is you need to

stand tall no matter what anybody says.

Let karma do the rest.

INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - THE NEXT DAY

Cade, wearing JEANS, sees Rachel coming down the hall

and tries to crouch behind his mini-locker's door.

CADE (V.O.)

Despite my parents advice, I still

tried my best to avoid Rachel the next

day.

RACHEL

You seem a lot more bashful than you

were this weekend.

CADE

I guess I'm just more bashful when

there aren't spiders around.

RACHEL

I can go get Hairy-

CADE

(quick to interrupt)

Please don't.

RACHEL

(amused)

So you really were scared. And here I

thought that was your idea of flirting.

Cade grabs his books from his locker.

CADE

Flirting? My dad says girls like

mystery, but I think the cat's out of

the bag.

RACHEL

You mean because of my brother's

exaggerations?

CADE

I haven't exactly heard you stopping

him.

RACHEL

(slyly)

I have my reasons.

25.

Cade looks clueless as Rachel begins to walk off.

RACHEL (CONT'D)

(turning back)

You know, your parents might be short,

but they sure gave you some nice genes.

Cade, oblivious, looks down at his jeans.

CADE

Thanks, we got them at the outlet

store.

Rachel smiles before continuing on her way. Kwan quickly

swoops in from the sidelines.

KWAN

Dude, so NOT what she meant.

Cade thinks about it a brief moment, then smiles as he

watches Rachel walk away - until Levi BUMPS him causing

Cade to drop his books.

LEVI

My bad, teeny weeny. Didn't see ya.

As we return to the same scene we saw at the beginning

featuring Cade and Kwan picking up the books:

CADE (V.O.)

And suddenly I didn't care what anybody

else thought about me or my family.

Parents may embarrass you at times, but

when you embarrass yourself, they're

there for you. And if my parents taught

me anything, it's that life's not about

size... it's about attitude.

END OF ACT III

26.

TAG

INT. BOY'S RESTROOM

Kwan's feet dangle in the stall.

KWAN

(incredibly fast)

I talked to my dad about hypnotizing

you and he said he'd be up for it, but

he needs your parents to sign a

permission form since you're a minor.

Do you think they would? I know a lot

of people think it's just a bunch of

baloney, which by the way also makes me

constipated, but it really can do be

useful for people trying to confront

their fears. Did you check out my dad's

web site? Hey, did you ever check out

my blog? Do you mind if I write about

your incident in my blog at all? I hope

not, because I already did.

A moment of silence as Kwan realizes he's been the only

one talking for a while.

KWAN (CONT'D)

Cade? Are you still there?

FADE OUT.

END OF SHOW