Emotional intelligence

Emotional Intelligence

WHAT?WHAT IS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

WHY? UNDERSTANDING THE NEED FOR EI

THEN WHAT?APPLICATION IN THE CLASSROOM



•Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify, use, understand and manage your emotions in positive and constructive ways.

•It's about recognizing your own emotional state and the emotional states of others.

• Emotional intelligence is also about engaging with others in ways that draw people to you.

Daniel Goleman, scientist and author

Daniel Goleman says“Emotional intelligence consists of four core

abilities…”

1. SELF-AWARENESS

2. SELF-MANAGEMENT

3. SOCIAL AWARENESS

4. RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT

1.Self-awareness

The ability to recognize your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behavior, know your strengths and weaknesses, and have self-confidence and self esteem.

2.Self-management

The ability to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.

3.Social awareness

the ability to understand the emotions, needs, and concerns of other people,

pick up on emotional cues, feel comfortable socially,

and recognize the power dynamics in a group or organization.

4.Relationship management

The ability to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflict.

ACTIVITYSelf-awareness


Reflect and write personality aspects (strengths and

weaknesses) that best describe you

PLUTCHIK WHEEL

Emotional Literacy

Emotional literacy is defined as:The ability to express feelings with specific feeling

words, in 3 word sentences.For example, “I feel rejected.”Mayer and Salovey have also written that the "ability

to label emotions“ is integral to emotional intelligence.

If you are interested in working on your emotional literacy, the first step is to start using simple, three word sentences such as these:

I feel sad. I feel motivated. I feel offended. I feel appreciated. I feel hurt. I feel disrespected.

Build your Feeling Words Vocabulary

AlienatedBarrenBeatenBleakBleedingDejectedDepressedDesolateDespondentDismalEmptyGloomyGrievedGrimHopeless

DelightedEbullientEcstaticElatedEnergeticEnthusiasticEuphoricExcitedExhilaratedOverjoyedThrilledTickled pinkVibrant

ZippyAdoringArdentCherishingCompassionateCrazy aboutDevotedDotingFerventIdolizingInfatuatedPassionateWild aboutWorshipful

BaffledBefuddledChaoticConfoundedConfusedDizzyFlusteredRattledReelingShockedShook upSpeechlessStartledStumpedStunnedMocked

FrightenedHorrifiedIntimidatedPanickyParalyzedPetrifiedShockedTerrifiedTerror-strickenWrecked

Emotional Literacy

I messages vs. You Messages "You make me so jealous" we are sending a "you message". These "you messages"

typically put the other person on the defensive, which hurts communication and relationships rather than helping.

Expressing the Intensity Of The Feeling I feel: annoyed... angry ... incensed...ballistic.Accurately capturing the intensity of an emotion is critical to judging the message our feelings are sending. If we either exaggerate or minimize the feeling, we are distorting reality and undermining the effectiveness of our communication.

Indirect CommunicationI Feel Like ....Using sentences for example, I feel like: ... strangling him ... shooting him ... wringing his neck ... telling her off ... teaching him a lesson ... ... quitting ... giving up ... jumping off of a cliff be the most common form of communicating our feelings. The literal result is that we often feel like labels, thoughts, and behaviors, as we can see below:

ACTIVITYRelationship Management


Emotional Intelligence in the Classroom

Recognize and respond

Encourage an emotional state in learners that is conducive to learning

Listen, hear your learners out.

Strive to increase your own EQ

Basic Steps to establishing EQ in the classroom

EI in the classroom

Label your feelings rather than your students

"I am feeling impatient", rather than "You are such a slowpoke.“

"I am confused about why you aren't doing your work," rather than "You are just being lazy."

EI in the classroom

Express your emotions rather than issue commands

I am afraid you will hurt yourself doing that.

I am afraid your tapping might distract the others.

I feel bad when I see you take things from others without asking. And I am afraid you might lose their friendship.

I feel uncomfortable with .....

EI in the classroom

Learn to take responsibility for your own feelings rather than blame them on your students.

Say, "I am feeling overwhelmed and out of control" rather "You are driving me crazy.“

"I felt embarrassed when the principal was here," rather than "You embarrassed me in front of the principal."

EI in the classroom

Remember that respect is earned, not demanded

The students are not there to meet OUR emotional needs

EI in the classroom

Apologize when you feel regret for something,

Be honest if you don’t know an answer or have made a mistake

I feel bad for....

I am sorry I ....

I am afraid I made a mistake….

It was an error on my part…….

I don’t know,let me get back to you on that one……..

EI in the classroom

Encourage students to express their feelings with feeling words.

Frequently ask how students feel using emotional literacy guidelines of 3 word sentences.

Help them find the most accurate, most precisefeeling words.

EI in the classroom

Seek voluntary cooperation rather than issuing commands.

"Would you help me out by keeping your voice down?"

EI in the classroom

First validate the student' s feeling before addressing their behavior.

"It looks like you are feeling a little restless today.“

"It looks like you are feeling frustrated with this topic”

Conclusion

clear use of language

Rescue EI

More deliberate

References

Daniel Goleman (1995): Emotional Intelligence, why it can matter more than IQ.

Coetze and Jansen: Emotional Intelligence in the classroom: the secret of happy teachers

Carson, B. H. (1996) ‘Thirty years of stories: the professor’s place in student memories

Claxton, G. (1999) Wise up: the challenge of lifelong learning, London: Bloomsbury

Emotional intelligence

Technology

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