Diff in Culture

7/25/2019 Diff in Culture

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The Five Cs of Eective Communication

Efective communication is a two way inormationsharing processwhichinvolves one partysending a messagethat is easily understood bythe receivingparty.

Will your message sink or oat?

To be efective, communications should be concise, clear, correct, completeand, perhaps most important, it should connect. ere!s a closer look at the"#ive $!s% o efective communication.

Concise: Eliminate all unnecessary words, redundant thoughts, andirrelevant side issues. &ake the piece as long as it has to be to coverwhat you want to get across ' but not a line longer.

Clear: (se a simple, active voice. )ick words and images that

illuminate ' the very *rst time that the audience reads, hears or seesthem.

Correct: +o matter the importance o your message, you will losecredibility i you don!t get your acts, *gures, spelling, punctuation andgrammar right.

Complete: nticipate the -uestions that the audience might have,and answer them ' who, what, where, when, why and how. (se vividand concrete eamples.

Connect: pproach the assignment rom the audience!s perspective,

conveying inormation in a language that they will understand, andpresenting it in a contet that makes the inormation meaningul.
http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/information.htmlhttp://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/process.htmlhttp://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/party.htmlhttp://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/message.htmlhttp://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/receiver.htmlhttp://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/information.htmlhttp://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/process.htmlhttp://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/party.htmlhttp://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/message.htmlhttp://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/receiver.html


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Dierences in Cultures

$ulture is the ideas, customs, and social behaviour o a particular people orsociety.

/ncreasingly, managers must deal with multiple ethnic groups withvery diferent cultures. Thanks to globali0ation, you are likely to

work with 1apanese, #rench, $hinese, 2erman and all sorts o othernationalities. /t is important to recogni0e that people rom diferentcultures have are diferent in a variety o ways, including

diferent ways o looking at things diferent ways o dressing

diferent ways o epressing personality3goodness

USA GERA!"

FR#E!DS vs AC$UA#!TA!CES

mericans almost always address people

they have 4ust met 5or people they work

with6 with their *rst name. They may not

even know that person!s last name.

2ermans almost always address people

they have 4ust met 5or people they work

with6 with their last name. They may not

even know that person!s *rst name.


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n merican may be ofended 5or at least

surprised6 i addressed as "&r. 7mith%

rather than "1im.%

2erman may be ofended 5or at least

surprised6 i addressed as "8arl% rather

than "err 7chmidt.%

(7 2E9&+:

TA%&E A!!ERS

The ork is held in the right hand.

When using a knie, it replaces

the ork, which is switched to the

let hand during cutting. Emily

)ost called this the "0ig;0ag%

style.

The ork is held in the let hand, the

knie in the right hand.


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5stop, yield, etc.6. wayB ewer signs

)assing on the right is @8 on the

/nterstate.

)assing on the right is verboten on the

autobahn.

ighway directional signs reer to

east, west, north, south ' and the

net city.

ighway directional signs reer to the

net town or city, never mentioning

compass directions.

7peed limits are posted everywhere

on streets and highways.

+o speed limit on some autobahn

stretchesB standard CD km3h 5F mph6limit on city streets unless posted

otherwise.

$ultural Aiferences


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relatively ar distance apart when speaking, and last names with honori*cs are used. n

eample can be seen in diferent approaches to customer service. /n merica, ideal

customer service is usually warm and riendly. /n 1apan, it is ormal and unobtrusive.

Waiters donHt usually stop by tables to ask customers how the ood is and what their

weekend plans are, and strangers wonHt oten chat while waiting or the bus. )hysically

touching is also more sparse in 1apan than it is in merica.

2.)apanese people are nationalistic 1ut overall not ver/ political. )oliticians in

1apan have a shockingly low approval rate. )oliticians are -uick to resign ater making

mistakes, causing 1apan to switch )rime &inisters almost once a year since IDDC. 1apan

has a )arliament system with many parties, and politicians donHt tend to win with a

ma4ority vote. /n act, 1apanese people have a notoriously low voting rate. @n the other

hand, 1apanese people tend to have a lot o love or their country, and celebrate their

uni-ue history, language and culture in a way not dissimilar to mericans.

3. Thou,h America is ma*e up of people from man/ *ierent countries- )apanis over+helmin,l/ )apanese.The population o 1apan is about JKL ethnic 1apanese,

and the biggest minority groups are 8orean and $hinese people.


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8. Space in )apan is more precious.


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in society. )eople tend to ollow rules more seriously, rom something as simple as

trying not to litter ; which makes big cities like Tokyo surprisingly clean.

Cultural *ierences 1et+een German/ an* )apanThere are many obvious cultural diferences between 2ermany and 1apanN

eating diferent ood and with knie and ork instead o chopsticks, driving onthe other side o the road, and the styles o traditional architecture, musicand clothing, such as the 2erman Oederhosen3Airndl and 1apanese 8imono,do not have much in common as well. That is why / want to write aboutdiferences concerning the invisible aspects o these culturesN the values, thevirtues, and hence the ways o thinking ' at least as ar as / could observethem and was told by 1apanese people.


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disciplined manner in order to please them. owever, "discipline% also hasthe negative connotation o being too strict or even drilled, hence theepression "to discipline someone%. /n act / was reported by some older1apanese that their education was o that kind, but / see at 8wansei 2akuinthat today!s students are encouraged to make their own minds by doing

research by themselves, so you eample.can understand the word"discipline% in its very best sense./n summary / can say that although 2ermans and 1apanese share the samevalues, they are much more obeyed in 1apan, which is what 2ermans shouldtake as an eample.

(Doori Kim, Exchange Student from Ewha Woman'sUniversity (Korea)

Steps in Active &istenin,

/n today!s high;tech, high;speed, high;stress world, communication is more

important then ever, yet we seem to devote less and less time to really


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listening to one another. 2enuine listening has become a rare gitPthe git o

time. /t helps build relationships, solve problems, ensure understanding,

resolve conicts, and improve accuracy. t work, efective listening means

ewer errors and less wasted time. t home, it helps develop resourceul,

sel;reliant kids who can solve their own problems. Oistening buildsriendships and careers. /t saves money and marriages.

ere are some tips to help you develop efective listening skills.

Step 1: Face the speaker and maintain eye contact.

Talking to someone while they scan the room, study a computer screen, or

ga0e out the window is like trying to hit a moving target. ow much o the

person!s divided attention you are actually getting? #ity percent? #ive

percent? / the person were your child you might demand, "Oook at me when/!m talking to you,% but that!s not the sort o thing we say to a lover, riend or

colleague.

/n most Western cultures, eye contact is considered a basic ingredient o

efective communication. When we talk, we look each other in the eye. That

doesn!t mean that you can!t carry on a conversation rom across the room,

or rom another room, but i the conversation continues or any length o

time, you 5or the other person6 will get up and move. The desire or better

communication pulls you together.

Ao your conversational partners the courtesy o turning to ace them. )ut

aside papers, books, the phone and other distractions. Oook at them, even i

they don!t look at you. 7hyness, uncertainty, shame, guilt, or other emotions,

along with cultural taboos, can inhibit eye contact in some people under

some circumstances. Ecuse the other guy, but stay ocused yoursel.

7tep IN


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be present

give attention

apply or direct yoursel

pay attention

remain ready to serve

&entally screen out distractions, like background activity and noise. /n

addition, try not to ocus on the speaker!s accent or speech mannerisms to

the point where they become distractions. #inally, don!t be distracted by

your own thoughts, eelings, or biases.

Step 3: Keep an open mind.

Oisten without 4udging the other person or mentally critici0ing the things she

tells you. / what she says alarms you, go ahead and eel alarmed, but don!t

say to yoursel, "Well, that was a stupid move.% s soon as you indulge in

4udgmental bemusements, you!ve compromised your efectiveness as a

listener.

Oisten without 4umping to conclusions. 9emember that the speaker is using

language to represent the thoughts and eelings inside her brain. :ou don!t

know what those thoughts and eelings are and the only way you!ll *nd out isby listening.

Aon!t be a sentence;grabber. @ccasionally my partner can!t slow his mental

pace enough to listen efectively, so he tries to speed up mine by

interrupting and *nishing my sentences. This usually lands him way of base,

because he is ollowing his own train o thought and doesn!t learn where my

thoughts are headed. ter a couple o rounds o this, / usually ask, "Ao you

want to have this conversation by yoursel, or do you want to hear what /

have to say?% / wouldn!t do that with everyone, but it works with him.

Step 3: &isten to the +or*s an* tr/ to picture +hat the spea;er issa/in,.

llow your mind to create a mental model o the inormation being

communicated. Whether a literal picture, or an arrangement o abstract

concepts, your brain will do the necessary work i you stay ocused, with


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senses ully alert. When listening or long stretches, concentrate on, and

remember, key words and phrases.

When it!s your turn to listen, don!t spend the time planning what to say net.

:ou can!t rehearse and listen at the same time. Think only about what the

other person is saying.

#inally, concentrate on what is being said, even i it bores you. / your

thoughts start to wander, immediately orce yoursel to reocus.

Step 5: Dont interrupt and dont impose your solutions.

$hildren used to be taught that it!s rude to interrupt. /!m not sure that

message is getting across anymore. $ertainly the opposite is being modeled

on the ma4ority o talk shows and reality programs, where loud, aggressive,

in;your;ace behavior is condoned, i not encouraged.

/nterrupting sends a variety o messages. /t saysN

"/!m more important than you are.%

"What / have to say is more interesting, accurate or relevant.%

"/ don!t really care what you think.%

"/ don!t have time or your opinion.%

"This isn!t a conversation, it!s a contest, and /!m going to win.%

We all think and speak at diferent rates. / you are a -uick thinker and an

agile talker, the burden is onyouto rela your pace or the slower, more

thoughtul communicatorPor or the guy who has trouble epressing himsel.

When listening to someone talk about a problem, rerain rom suggesting

solutions. &ost o us don!t want your advice anyway. / we do, we!ll ask or it.

&ost o us preer to *gure out our own solutions. We need you to listen andhelp us do that. 7omewhere way down the line, i you are absolutely bursting

with a brilliant solution, at least get the speaker!s permission. sk, "Would

you like to hear my ideas?%


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Step 6: ait !or the speaker to pause to ask clari!yin" #uestions.

When you don!t understand something, o course you should ask the speaker

to eplain it to you.


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Step *: +i,e the speaker re"ular !eed)ack.

7how that you understand where the speaker is coming rom by reecting

the speaker!s eelings. ":ou must be thrilled>% "What a terrible ordeal or

you.% "/ can see that you are conused.% / the speaker!s eelings are hiddenor unclear, then occasionally paraphrase the content o the message. @r 4ust

nod and show your understanding through appropriate acial epressions and

an occasional well;timed "hmmm% or "uh huh.%

$uestionin, S;ills an* Techni


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lthough the ollowing list is not ehaustive it outlines the main reasons-uestions are asked in common situations.

S To @btain /normationN

The primary unction o a -uestion is to gain inormation ' What time is it?!

S To help maintain control o a conversation

While you are asking -uestions you are in control o the conversation,assertive people are more likely to take control o conversations attemptingto gain the inormation they need through -uestioning. 5lso see our pageson ssertiveness6

S Epress an interest in the other person

uestioning allows us to *nd out more about the respondent, this can beuseul when attempting to build rapport and show empathy or to simply getto know the other person better. 5lso see


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S /n group situations

uestioning in group situations can be very useul or a number o reasons,to include all members o the group, to encourage more discussion o apoint, to keep attention by asking -uestions without advance warning. These

eamples can be easily related to a classroom o school children.

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

ow to sk uestions


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(sing silence is a powerul way o delivering -uestions.

s with other interpersonal interactions pauses in speech can help toemphasise points and give all parties a ew moments to gather theirthoughts beore continuing.

pause o at least three seconds beore a -uestion can help to emphasisethe importance o what is being asked. three second pause directly ater a-uestion can also be advantageousB it can prevent the -uestioner romimmediately asking another -uestion and indicates to the respondent that aresponse is re-uired.

)ausing again ater an initial response can encourage the respondent tocontinue with their answer in more detail. )auses o less than three secondshave been proven to be less efective.

Encoura,in, ?articipation

/n group situations leaders oten want to involve as many people as possiblein the discussion or debate.

This can be at least partially achieved by asking -uestions o individualmembers o the group.

@ne way that the bene*ts o this techni-ue can be maimised is to redirect a-uestion rom an active member o the group to one who is less active orless inclined to answer without a direct opportunity. $are should be taken in

such situations as some people *nd speaking in group situations verystressul and can easily be made to eel uncomortable, embarrassed orawkward.

Encourage but do not orce -uieter members o the group to participate.

=hat are $uestionin, Techni Dierent t/pes of


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$hildren persistently ask a lot o -uestions all the time, and they learn andincrease their knowledge that way.

There is an old English )roverb, "e that nothing -uestions, nothing learns%.

ow do you use -uestions to check what customers are telling you?

)eople who work in customer services, medical services, schools, legalservices, social services and in almost all services need to have good-uestioning skills. 1ust being a good listener is not enough, you also need toknow to ask the right -uestions to get as much details or inormation asnecessary. uestioning skills help you gather more -uality inormation, helpyou learn a lot by -uestioning, helps others learn, helps build betterrelationships and helps to manage problems and people efectively

There are many types o -uestions that can be used or -uestioning

techni-ues. ew basic ones that are important are listed below.

S @pen -uestions

S $losed -uestions

S #unnel -uestions

S )robing -uestions

S Oeading -uestions

S 9hetorical -uestions

@ne should know all the diferent types o -uestions, when to use which typeo -uestions and how to combine the diferent techni-ues to arrive at thebest decision or result.

FD Tips or Efective uestioning

@pen -uestions ; @pen -uestions ask or elaborate 3 eplanatory answersand they begin with what, why, how, describe, eplain, where, which, whenetc. /t can be -uestions asking someone to eplain what happened at asituation or place, asking why it happened, asking or details o an incident,history o some happenings, eplanation about their circumstances,eplanation o needs, thoughts about something, ideas and eedback. @pen-uestions help with a two way conversation and builds up an interest in theconversation. 7ome eamples are


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F. What happened at the conerence today?

I. $ould you please describe your needs and current circumstances?

. What do you think about this conclusion 3 discussion?

M. Who were present at this incident?

C. ow did you arrive at this conclusion?

$losed -uestion ' $losed uestions have very short answers like "yes% or"no% or answers with a word or two. They are usually asked to test isomeone has understood certain policies, procedures, rules, regulations,eplanations, discussions, lectures etc. $losed -uestions are also asked oragreements or disagreements, asking or how they eel, to be speci*c, ora=rmation, etc. /t is best not to ask closed -uestions when a conversation is

going on smoothly as it can bring an end to the conversation and you mightget into the risk o losing re-uired inormation. 7ome o the words used inclosed -uestions are, are, do, did, could, should etc. 7ome eamples oclosed -uestions are

F. Will / get a response by tomorrow?

I. Ao we agree on this decision?

. re you happy with the services that we provide?

M. Which is your hometown?

C. What do you do or a living?

#unnel -uestions ' 1ust imagine the shape o a unnel while using these typeo -uestions. unnel has a wide mouth and gradually narrows at thebottom. 7imilarly, you start with a lot o general -uestions on a situation orincident and then narrow it down to one point to arrive at a conclusion. Thistype o -uestioning techni-ue is used by investigators, researchers anddetectives. /n cases where investigations are involved, these types o-uestions can be used to gather inormation and then to narrow down to

arrive at a decision. :ou can use a lot o closed -uestions at the start andthen widen on to asking open -uestions thereby making the people eelcomortable answering your -uestions. n eample can be,

F. When was the call made?

I. Ao you know the name o the person whom you spoke to?


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. What sort o behaviour did they ehibit?

M. What was your call about?

C. What -uestions did you ask?

V. What was the response?

. Aid they mention anything speci*c?

K. Aid they have a speci*c accent?

J. ow will you describe their approach?

FD. EtcQ..

uestioning Techni-ues

)robing -uestions or Trigger -uestions ' )robing -uestions are used to gathermore details and inormation. These are asked to clariy doubts ormisunderstandings. These -uestions will help you pull out inormation rompeople who are hiding inormation or avoiding rom telling you something.7ome eamples are

F. What eactly is the current situation?

I. Who eactly is re-uiring these details?

. When do you need these data by?

M. ow do you know that X:Y was involved?

C. What is eactly this inormation needed or?

V. Where eactly will you be using this?

. What types o products do you need, how and where will you be usingthem?

K. $an you be more speci*c?

Oeading -uestions or 9eective -uestions ' Oeading -uestions are used tolead the person whom you are talking to. This leads the speaker to give youanswers, while they know that you are giving them a choice. @ne has to becareul not to be manipulative while using leading -uestions. 7ome eamplesare


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F. Well, / think this product looks more suitable or your needs, what doyou think?

I. What would you preer, or


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Con@ict Resolution

We all eperience conictB whether we choose to master it or let it master us

determines our destiny.

( Dont react. While this is not easy to do because we are biologically primed

to *ght or ee, sometimes not reacting is incredibly efective. /t takes two to

play tug;o;war, and i you reuse to engage, there is no game to be played. n

intentional pause serves as a mirror or the antagoni0er, as their aggressive

words reverberate in the silence and seem to hang in the air, hopeully inspiring

reection and awareness. / you reuse to sink to the same level, you can be the

bigger person and anchor the conict in a more civil place beore it spirals

downward. This re-uires strength, patience, groundedness and detachment rom

ego 5or it is the ego that gets hooked during conict and eels compelled to*ght until proven the victor6. )ause, count to FD, breathe deeply and see what

happens rom there.

0 Respon* from a place of sa*ness- rather than an,er. When we are

angry, it is to protect our eelings o sadness. When we speak rom our anger,

we can scare people, make them deensive, and can negatively impact our

relationships. When we speak rom our hurt, we are sharing rom a deeper and

more vulnerable place o truth, and are not as threatening to others. / we teach

others how to care or our wounds, rather than biting them back, we can

epedite the healing process.

2 Do not trian,ulate.Triangulation is when you donHt speak directly to theperson with whom you are having a conict and involve somebody else. #or

eample, speaking to your mother;in;law about your agitation at your wie. @r,

throwing your #s it necessar/> #s it

true>BTake some advice rom 7hirdi 7ai


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5 %e specic a1out +hat /ou nee*. 7ometimes we want people to

magically know what we need in order to eel better. This is normal, yet

irrational. 7peed things along by being direct and speci*c or what you need 5i.e.

G/ need or you to say you are sorry or calling me that nameG or G/ need or you

to give me the rest o the weekend alone to reectG or G/ need or you to hold

me and stop trying to make it better with words.G6.

6 %e +illin, to let ,o an* Bre1oot.B&y colleague 9oss 9osenberg

recommends a mental rebooting when at the point o stalemate in conict

resolution. This involves letting go o any mental energy that is keeping you

*ated on the conict. /n a moment o -uiet reection, imagine you are dropping

your sword and hitting the GrereshG button on your psychological browser, and

revisit your relationship with renewed perspective and energy.

8 %e ,rateful for the +is*om the con@ict 1rou,ht /ou.$onict can be

emotionally ehausting and it is easy to be annoyed that it even took place.Oook at the good part by reecting on any lessons that could be learned about

yoursel, the other party, the relationship, or lie in general. 2ive thanks or this

wisdom so that the universe knows you have su=ciently learned this lesson and

it isnHt presented or you again>

9 Eno/ the intimac/ in ma;in, up an* reconnectin,. $onict is like *reN

While it can be destructive i let untended, it can promote warmth and heat i

managed efectively. 9esolving conict promotes intimacy 5the term, Gmake;up

seG didnHt come rom nowhere...6 lso, there is great reassurance knowing that

loved ones can Gstand a little shaky groundG and has Ggot the guts to stick

aroundG 5thank you,


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conict that is direct and assertive, while also respectul and diplomatic. 7ome

people ear conict and go to great lengths to avoid it, which can back*re and

lead to emotional, relational and medical problems. / handled efectively,

conict can be an opportunity or learning, growth and positive change.

(. ?ause an* ,et ,roun*e*./ your eathers are ruZed, itHs best to take a moment to regroup beore having

a knee;4erk reaction you might regret later.


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difuses conict. :ou do not have to agree with their perspective, but you can

show you understand their eelings 5i.e., G/ can understand that you elt upset by

that.G6.

5. Ta;e responsi1ilit/ for /ourself.

7ave everybody time by owning up to your own poor behaviors. This is not a

sign o weakness, rather it demonstrates awareness and integrity and will likely

epedite successul resolution. &ake sincere and timely amends and apologies.

6. Use assertive communication.

void being passive 5weak in setting boundaries6B aggressive 5hostile or

entitled6B or passive;aggressive 5acting out through indirect behaviors like

slamming a door or not responding to an email6. 7tay in the present and donHt

dredge up old issues rom the past. sk or what you need, say no to what you

canHt do, and be open to negotiation and compromise. rticulate a complaint

about a speci*c behavior and epress your eelings in a way that is clear, direct

and appropriate.Whenever possible, communicate directly in;person or over the phone versus

email or tet battles where misunderstandings breed -uickly. (se G/G statements

rather than GyouG statements to reduce deensiveness. #or eample, G/ am upset

that / did not get the promotion,G rather than G:ou are a 4ackass.G

8. %e open an* @ei1le.

Oisten and really hear the other person. sk -uestions to gather inormation that

will be clariying. $onsider other perspectives or solutions. Oook or the

compromise or Gwin;win.G

9. Focus on +hat /ou can control an* let ,o of the rest.uthor Wayne Ayer wisely said, Gow people treat you is their karmaB how you

react is yours.G :ou can control your own behaviors and responses but you

cannot control others or the outcome. :ou can advocate or yoursel in the

contet o a relationship and i resolution cannot be achieved, you can empower

yoursel to change the boundaries o that relationship or perhaps even end it

altogether.

(. For,ive.

+elson &andela said, G9esentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will

kill your enemies.G 9ecogni0e that people come into our lives or a reason and

even negative eperiences are opportunities or growth.


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probably never athomed the time and energy that would go into

managing the varied personalities on a team.

@ver the years, many diferent methods have been used to resolve

conicts between employees, including persons acting as anarbiter, staying out o the situation completely, or even taking one

side.


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The only way to resolve an issue permanently is through a real,

open conversation, ideally ace to ace. +o email, no social media,

no teting. Whether live or over the phone, you need a scenario in

which you can listen or voice tone, or watch or body language.

/ you have to, take a side. / two people have already talked and still have yet to resolve

the conict 5which, rarely happens6, ofer to help resolve the

situation by getting everyone to the table at the same time.

2ive both sides a chance to be heard, and only then make

your decision.

Evangeli0e your philosophy about conict.

)eople love to hear themselves talk about others and be Gin the

knowG about co;workersH complaints. /t is a natural response and

emotion, but itHs also a colossal waste o time. &ake sure your

message and methodology or dealing with conict;;i you have a

problem with someone, stop, think, talk, and resolve;;cascades to all

levels o the organi0ation.

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