Carroll, Lewis - Through the Looking Glass (Illus)

7/28/2019 Carroll, Lewis - Through the Looking Glass (Illus)

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T HR O UG H T H E L OO K IN G G LA SS

A ND W HA T A LI CE F OU ND T HE RE

BY



LEWIS CARROLL

WITH FIFTY ILLUSTRATIONS

B Y J OH N T EN NI EL .

N EW Y OR K

T H E M A CM I LL A N C O MP A NY

L ON DO N: M AC MI LL AN A ND C O. , L TD .

1899

All Rights Reserved

CONTENTS

“Looking-glass house”.8

“Th e G ar den o f L iv e F lo wers ”.20

“Looking-glass Insects”.28

Tweedledum and Tweedledee.36

W oo l a nd W at er 48

“Humpty Dumpty”.58

“The Lion and The Unicorn”.68

“It’s my own Invention”.76

“Queen Alice”.88

“Which Dreamed It?”.102



CHRISTMAS-GREETINGS

[ FROM A FAI RY TO A CHI LD ]

L ad y D ea r, i f F ai ri es m ay

For a m om ent l ay a si de

Cunning tricks and elfish play

‘ Ti s at h ap py C hr is tm as t id e.

W e h av e h ea rd t he c hi ld re n s ay —



Gentle children, whom we love’’

L on g ago , o n C hr is tm as d ay ,

C am e a m es sa ge f ro m a bo ve .

Still, as Christmas-tide comes round,

They remember it again—

Echo will the joyful sound

“Peace o n ear th , g oo d- wi ll t o m en !”

Y et t he h eart s m us t chi ld li ke b e

Where such heavenly guests abide;

Unto children, in their glee,

A ll t he y ear i s C hr is tm as -t id e!

Thus, forgetting tricks and play

F or a m om ent , L ad y d ea r.

We would wis h you, i f we may,

M er r y C hr i st m as , g lad N ew Y ear !

“ Lo ok in g- gl as s h ou se ”



O NE t hi ng wa s c er ta in, t ha t t he wh it e ki tt en ha d ha d not hi ng t o d o wi th i t - - i t w as t he bl ac k ki tt en’ s

f au lt e nt ir el y. F or t he w hi te k it te n h ad b ee n h av in g i ts f ac e w as he d b y t he o ld c at , f or t he l as t q ua rt er o f a n h ou r ( an d b ea ri ng i t p re tt y w el l, c on si de ri ng ); s o y ou s ee t ha t i t c ou ld n’ t h av e h ad a ny h an d i n t he

mischief.

T he w ay D ina h w as he d h er c hi ld re n’ s f ac es w as l ik e t hi s: f ir st s he h el d t he p oo r t hi ng d ow n b y i ts e ar

w it h o ne p aw , a nd t he n w it h t he o th er p aw s he r ub be d i ts f ac e a ll o ve r, t he w ro ng w ay , b eg in ni ng a t t he

nos e: a nd j us t no w, a s I s aid, s he w as ha rd a t wor k o n t he whi te ki tt en, w hi ch wa s l yi ng qui te s ti ll a nd

t rying to purr -- no doubt f ee li ng t ha t i t wa s a ll me ant f or i ts good.

B ut t he b lack k it ten h ad b een f in is hed w it h ear li er i n t he aft er no on , and s o, w hi le A li ce w as s it ti ng cur led

u p i n a c or ne r o f t he g re at a rm -c ha ir , h al f t al ki ng t o h er se lf a nd h al f a sl ee p, t he k it te n h ad b ee n h av in g ag ra nd g am e o f r om ps w it h t he b al l o f w or st ed A li ce h ad b ee n t ryi ng t o w in d u p, a nd h ad b ee n r ol li ng i t u p

a nd d ow n t il l i t h ad a ll c om e u nd on e a ga in ; a nd t he re i t w as s pr ea d o ve r t he h ea rt h- ru g, a ll k no ts a nd

t an gl es , w it h t he k it ten r un ni ng aft er i ts o wn t ai l i n t he m id dl e.



“Oh , y ou w icked, w icked l it tl e t hi ng !” cri ed A li ce, cat ch in g u p t he k it ten, and g iv in g i t a l it tl e k is s t o

m ak e i t u nd er st an d t hat i t w as i n d is gr ace. “Real ly , D in ah o ug ht t o h av e t au gh t y ou b et ter m an ners ! Y ou

o ug ht , D in ah , y ou k no w y ou o ug ht !” s he add ed , l oo ki ng r ep ro achf ul ly at t he o ld cat , and s peak in g i n as

c ro ss a v oi ce a s s he c ou ld m an ag e - - a nd t he n s he s cr am bl ed b ac k i nt o t he a rm -c ha ir , t ak in g t he k it te n

a nd w or st ed wi th he r, a nd be ga n w indi ng up t he ba ll a ga in. But s he di dn’ t ge t on ve ry f as t, a s s he wa s

t al ki ng all t he t im e, s om et im es t o t he k it ten, and s om et im es t o h er self . K it ty s at v er y d em ur el y o n h er

k ne e, p re te nd in g t o w at ch t he p ro gr es s o f t he w in di ng , a nd n ow a nd t he n p ut ti ng o ut o ne p aw a nd g en tl y

t ou chi ng t he b al l, a s i f i t w oul d b e gl ad t o h el p i f i t m ight .

“ Do y ou k no w w ha t t o- mo rr ow i s, K it ty ?” A li ce b eg an . “ Yo u’ d h av e g ue ss ed i f y ou ’d b ee n u p i n t he

w in dow w it h m e - - o nl y D in ah w as m aki ng y ou t id y, s o yo u c ou ld n’ t. I w as w at ch in g t he b oy s g et ti ng i n

s ti cks f or t he b onf ir e - - a nd i t wa nt s pl en ty of s ti ck s, K it ty! O nl y i t got s o c ol d, a nd i t s no we d s o, t he y

h ad t o l ea ve o ff . N ev er m in d, K it ty , w e’ ll g o a nd s ee t he b on fi re t o- mo rr ow .” H er e A li ce w ou nd t wo o r

t hr ee t ur ns of t he wor st ed r oun d t he k it te n’ s ne ck, j us t t o s ee ho w i t w oul d l ook: t hi s l ed t o a s cr am bl e, i n

w hi ch t he b al l r ol le d d ow n u po n t he f lo or , a nd y ar ds a nd y ar ds o f i t g ot u nw ou nd a ga in .

“ Do y ou k no w, I w as s o a ng ry , K it ty ,” A li ce w en t o n, a s s oo n a s t he y w er e c om fo rt ab ly s et tl ed a ga in ,

“ wh en I s aw a ll t he m is chi ef y ou h ad b ee n d oi ng , I w as v er y n ea rl y o pe ni ng t he w in dow , a nd p ut ti ng y ou

o ut i nt o t he s no w! A nd y ou de se rv ed i t, y ou l it tl e m is ch ie vo us da rl in g! W ha t ha ve yo u g ot t o s ay f or

y ou rs el f? N ow d on ’t i nt er ru pt m e! ” s he w en t o n, h ol di ng u p o ne f in ger. “I’ m g oi ng t o t el l y ou all y ou r

f au lt s. N um ber o ne: y ou s qu eaked t wi ce w hi le D in ah w as w as hi ng y ou r f ace t hi s m or in ng . N ow y ou can ’t

d en y i t, K it ty , f or I h ea rd y ou ! W ha t’ s t ha t y ou s ay ?” ( pr et en di ng t ha t t he k it te n w as s pe ak in g) . “ He r



paw went into your eye? Well, that’s your fault, for keeping your eyes open -- if you’d shut them tight

u p, i t w ou ld n’ t h av e h ap pe ne d. N ow d on ’t m ak e a ny m or e e xc us es , b ut l is te n! N um be r t wo : y ou p ul le d

Sn ow dr op a wa y b y t he t ai l j us t a s I ha d p ut dow n t he s auc er o f m il k be for e h er ! Wh at , y ou w er e t hi rs ty,

w er e y ou ? H ow d o y ou k no w s he w as n’ t t hi rs ty t oo ? N ow f or n um be r t hr ee : y ou u nw ou nd e ve ry b it o f

t he w or st ed w hi le I w as n’ t l oo ki ng !

“ Th at ’s t hr ee f au lt s, K it ty , a nd y ou’ ve n ot b ee n p un is he d f or a ny o f t he m y et . Y ou kn ow I ’m s av in g u pall y ou r p un is hm en ts f or W ed nesd ay w eek - - s up po se t hey h ad s av ed u p all m y p ui ns hm en ts !” s he w en t

on, t al ki ng mor e t o he rs el f t ha n t he ki tt en. “ Wha t wo ul d t he y do a t t he e nd of a ye ar ? I s ho ul d be s ent of f

t o pr is on, I s uppos e, whe n the day c am e. Or - - l et me se e -- s uppos e e ach punis hment was t o be going

w it ho ut a di nne r: t he n, w he n t he m is er ab le d ay c am e, I s ho ul d h av e t o g o w it ho ut f if ty di nne rs a t o nc e!

W el l, I s ho ul dn’ t m in d t ha t m uc h! I ’d f ar r at he r g o wi th ou t t he m t ha n e at t he m!

“ Do y ou h ea r t he s no w a ga in st t he w in do wp an es , K it ty ? H ow n ic e a nd s of t i t s ou nd s! J us t a s i f s om e

o ne w as k is si ng t he w in do w a ll o ve r o ut si de , I w on de r i f t he s no w l ov es t he t re es a nd f ie ld s, t ha t i t k is se s

t he m s o ge nt ly? A nd t he n i t c ov er s t he m u p s nu g, y ou k no w, w it h a w hi te q ui lt ; a nd p er ha ps i t s ay s, “ Go

t o s le ep, da rl in gs , t il l t he s um me r c om es a ga in .’ A nd w he n t he y w ak e u p i n t he s um me r, K it ty , t he y d re sst he ms el ve s a ll i n g re en , a nd d an ce a bo ut - - w he ne ve r t he w in d b lo ws - - o h, t ha t’ s v er y p re tt y! ” c ri ed

A li ce , dr opp ing t he ba ll o f wo rs te d t o c la p he r h and s. “ And I d o s o w is h i t w as t ru e! I ’m s ur e t he w ood s

l oo k s leep y i n t he aut um n, w hen t he l eaves are g et ti ng b ro wn .

“ Ki tt y, c an y ou p la y c he ss ? N ow , d on ’t s mi le , m y d ea r, I ’m a sk in g i t s er io us ly . B ec au se , w he n w e w er e

playing just now, you watched just as if you understood it: and when I said ‘Check!’ you purred! Well, it

w as a n ic e c he ck , K it ty , a nd r ea ll y I m igh t h av e w on , i f i t h ad n’ t b ee n f or t ha t n as ty K ni gh t, t ha t c am e

w ri gg li ng d ow n a mo ng m y p ie ce s. K it ty , d ea r, l et ’s p re te nd - - - ” A nd h er e I w is h I c ou ld t el l y ou h al f t he

t hi ng s A li ce u sed t o s ay , b eg in ni ng w it h h er f av ou ri te p hr as e “Let’ s p retend .” S he h ad h ad q ui te a l on g

a rg um en t w it h h er s is te r o nl y t he d ay b ef or e - - a ll b ec au se A li ce h ad b eg un w it h “ Le t’ s p re te nd w e’ re

k in gs a nd q ue en s” ; a nd h er s is te r, w ho l ik ed b ei ng v er y e xa ct , h ad a rg ue d t ha t t he y c ou ld n’ t b ec au set he re we re o nl y t wo of t he m, a nd Al ic e ha d b ee n r ed uc ed a t l as t t o s ay , “ We ll , y ou c an b e one of t he m

t he n, a nd I ’l l be a ll t he r es t. ” A nd o nc e s he h ad r ea ll y f ri gh te ne d h er o ld n ur se b y s ho ut ing s ud de nl y i n he r

e ar , “ Nu rs e! D o l et ’s p re te nd t ha t I ’m a h un gr y h ya en a, a nd y ou ’r e a b on e! ”

B ut t hi s i s t ak in g u s a wa y f ro m A li ce ’s s pe ec h t o t he k it te n. “ Le t’ s p re te nd t ha t y ou ’r e t he R ed Q ue en

Ki tt y! D o you kn ow, I t hi nk, i f y ou s at up a nd f ol de d your a rm s, you ’d l ook e xa ct ly l ike he r. N ow do

t ry , t he re ’s a d ea r! ” An d A li ce g ot t he R ed Q ue en of f t he t abl e, a nd s et i t up b ef or e t he ki tt en a s a m ode l

f or i t t o i mi tate: h ow ev er , t he t hi ng d id n’ t s ucceed , p ri ncip al ly , A li ce s ai d, b ecau se t he k it ten w ou ld n’ t

f ol d i ts a rm s p ro pe rl y. S o, t o p un is h i t, s he he ld i t u p t o t he L oo ki ng- gl as s, t ha t i t m igh t s ee h ow s ul ky i t

w as “ - - a nd i f y ou ’r e n ot g oo d d ir ec tl y, ” s he a dd ed , “ I’ ll p ut y ou t hr ou gh i nt o L oo ki ng -g la ss H ou se .How woul d you l ike tha t ?



“No w, i f y ou ’l l o nl y att en d, K it ty , and n ot t al k s o m uch, I ’l l t el l y ou all m y i deas abo ut L oo ki ng -g lass

H ou se . F ir st , t he re ’s t he r oo m y ou c an s ee t hr ou gh t he g la ss - - t ha t’ s j us t t he s am e a s o ur d ra wi ng -r oo m,

only the things go the other way. I can see all of it when I get upon a chair -- all but the bit just behind the

f ir ep la ce . Oh ! I do s o wi sh I c oul d s ee t ha t bi t! I w ant s o muc h t o kn ow whe the r t he y’ ve a f ir e i n t he

w in te r: y ou n ev er c an t el l, y ou ’ k no w, u nl es s o ur f ir e s mo ke s, a nd t he n s mo ke c om es u p i n t ha t r oo m t oo

-- but that may be only pre tence , just to ma ke i t look as if they had a f ire . Well t he n, the books a re

s om et hi ng l ike ou r b ooks , onl y t he w or ds go t he w ron g w ay; I kno w t ha t, b ec aus e I ’ve he ld up on e o f

ou r boo ks t o t he gl as s, a nd t he n t he y h ol d up on e i n t he ot he r r oo m.



“Ho w w ou ld y ou l ik e t o l iv e i n L oo ki ng -g lass H ou se, K it ty ? I w on der i f t hey’ d g iv e y ou m il k, t here?

P er ha ps Lo ok in g- gl as s m il k i sn’ t g oo d t o dr ink - - bu t o h, Ki tt y! no w w e c om e t o t he p as sa ge . Y ou c an

just see a little peep of the passage in Looking-glass House, if you leave the door of our passage as far as

you c an s ee , onl y you know i t ma y be qui te di ff ere nt on be yond. O h, Ki tt y! how ni ce i t woul d be i f we

cou ld o nl y g et t hr ou gh i nt o L oo ki ng -g lass H ou se! I ’m s ur e i t’ s g ot , o h! s uch b eaut if ul t hi ng s i n i t! L et ’s

pretend there’s a way of getting through into it somehow, Kitty. Let’s pretend the glass has got soft like

ga uz e, s o t ha t we c an ge t t hr ough. Why, i t’ s t ur ni ng i nt o a s ort of mi st now , I de cl ar e! I t’ ll be e as y

e no ug h t o g et t hr ou gh - - - ” S he w as u p o n t he c hi mn ey -p ie ce w hi le s he s ai d t hi s, t ho ug h s he h ar dl y k ne w

h ow s he h ad g ot t he re . A nd c er ta in ly t he g la ss w as b egi nni ng t o m el t a wa y, j us t l ike a b ri ght s il ve ry m is t.

I n ano th er m om en t A li ce w as t hr ou gh t he g lass , and h ad j um ped l ig ht ly d ow n i nt o t he L oo ki ng -g lass

r oom. The ve ry f irs t t hin g s he di d wa s t o l ook whe the r t he re w as a f ir e i n t he f ir epl ac e, a nd s he wa s qui te

pleased to find that there was a real one and lazing away as brightly as the one she had left behind. “So I

s ha ll be a s w ar m he re a s I wa s in t he ol d r oom, ” t hought Al ic e: “ wa rme r, in f ac t, be ca us e t he re’ ll be no

one her e t o sc ol d me a way fr om t he fi re. Oh, wha t f un i t’ ll be , whe n t he y se e me t hrough t he gl as s in

he re , a nd c an ’t ge t a t m e! ”

T he n s he b eg an l oo ki ng a bo ut , a nd n ot ic ed t ha t w ha t c ou ld b e s ee n f ro m t he o ld r oo m w as q ui te

com mo n and u ni nt er es ti ng , b ut t hat all t he r es t w as as d if ferent as p os si bl e. F or i ns tance, t he p ictu res o nt he w al l n ex t t he f ir e s ee me d t o b e a ll a li ve , a nd t he v er y c lo ck o n t he c hi mn ey -p ie ce ( yo u k no w y ou c an

onl y s ee t he ba ck of i t i n t he Lo oking -gl as s) ha d got t he f ac e of a l it tl e ol d ma n, a nd gr inne d a t he r.



“ Th ey d on ’t k ee p t hi s r oo m s o t id y a s t he o th er ” A li ce t ho ug ht t o h er se lf , a s s he n ot ic ed s ev er al o f t he

chess men d ow n i n t he h eart h amo ng t he cin ders : b ut i n ano th er m om en t, w it h a l it tl e “Oh !” o f s ur pr is e,

s he w as d ow n o n h er h an ds a nd k ne es w at ch in g t he m. T he c he ss me n w er e w al ki ng a bo ut , t wo a nd

two!”

“ He re a re t he R ed K in g a nd t he R ed Q ue en ,” A li ce s ai d ( in a w hi spe r, f or f ea r of f ri gh te ni ng t he m) , “ andt he re a re t he Wh it e Ki ng a nd t he W hi te ” Qu ee n s it ti ng on t he e dge of t he s ho ve l - - a nd he re a re t wo

Ca st le s w al ki ng a rm i n a rm - - I do n’ t t hi nk t he y c an he ar me ,” s he we nt on, a s s he put he r he ad c los er

dow n, “ and I’ m ne ar ly s ur e t he y c an’ t s ee me . I f ee l a s i f I w er e i nv is ibl e - - - ”

H er e s om et hi ng b eg an s qu ea ki ng o n t he t ab le , a nd m ad e A li ce t ur n h er h ea d j us t i n t im e t o s ee o ne o f

t he W hi te P aw ns r ol l o ve r a nd b eg in k ic ki ng : s he w at ch ed i t w it h g re at c ur ios it y t o s ee w ha t w ou ld

happen next.

“ It i s t he v oi ce o f m y c hi ld !” t he W hi te Q ue en c ri ed o ut , a s s he r us he d p as t t he K in g, s o v io le nt ly t ha t

s he k no ck ed h im o ver amo ng t he cin ders “My p reci ou s L il y! M y i mp er ial k it ten! ” and s he b eg ans cr am bl in g w il dl y u p t he s id e o f t he f en der - - I mp er ial f id dl es ti ck !” s ai d t he K in g, r ub bi ng h is n os e, w hi ch

ha d be en hur t by t he f al l. H e ha d a r ight t o be a l it tl e a nnoy ed f or he wa s c ove re d wi th a she s f rom he ad

t o f oo t.

A li ce w as ve ry a nx io us t o b e o f u se , a nd , a s t he p oo r l it tl e L il y w as ne ar ly s cr ea mi ng h er se lf i nt o a f it ,

s he h as ti ly p ic ke d u p t he Q ue en a nd s et h er u po n t he t ab le b y t he s id e o f h er n oi sy l it tl e d au gh te r.

T he Q ue en g as pe d, a nd s at d ow n: t he r ap id j ou rn ey t hr ou gh t he a ir h ad q ui te t ak en a wa y h er b re at h,

a nd f or a mi nut e or tw o s he c oul d do no but hug t he li tt le Li ly i n s ile nc e. As so on a s s he ha d r ec ove re d

h er b re at h a l it tl e, s he c al le d ou t t o t he W hi te K in g, w ho wa s s it ti ng s ul ki ly a mo ng t he a she s, “ Mi nd t he

volcano!”

“ Wha t v ol ca no? ” s ai d t he K ing , l oo ki ng u p a nxi ou sl y i nt o t he f ir e, a s i f he t hou ght t ha t w as t he m os t



l ik el y p lace t o f in d o ne.

“Blew -- me -- up,” panted the Queen, who was s til l a litt le out of brea th. “Mind you come up -- t he

regular way-don’t get blown up!”

A li ce w at ch ed t he W hi te K in g a s h e s lo wl y s tr ugg le d u p f ro m b ar t o b ar , t il l a t l as t s he s ai d, “ Wh y, y ou ’l l

be hours and hours getting to the table…at that rate. I’d far better help you, hadn’t I?” But the King took no not ic e of t he que sti on: i t w as qui te c le ar t ha t he c oul d ne it he r h ea r he r n or s ee he r.

S o A li ce pi cke d h im up v er y g en tl y, a nd l if te d h im a cr os s m or e s low ly t ha n s he h ad l if te d t he Q ue en , t ha t

s he m ig ht n’ t t ak e hi s b re at h a wa y: b ut , b ef or e s he pu t h im on t he t ab le , s he t ho ug ht s he m ig ht a s w el l d us t

h im a l it tl e, h e w as s o c ov er ed w it h a sh es .

S he s ai d a ft er wa rds t ha t s he h ad ne ve r s ee n i n a ll he r l ife s uc h a f ac e a s t he Ki ng m ade , whe n he f ound

h im se lf he ld i n t he a ir b y a n i nv is ibl e ha nd, a nd b ei ng d us te d: h e w as f ar t oo m uc h a st on is he d t o c ry o ut ,

but his eyes and his mouth went on getting larger and larger, and rounder and rounder, till her hand shook

s o w it h l au gh in g t hat s he n earl y l et h im d ro p u po n t he f lo or .

“ Oh ! p le as e d on ’t m ak e s uc h f ac es , m y d ea r! ” s he c ri ed o ut , q ui te f or ge tt in g t ha t t he K in g c ou ld n’ t h ea r

he r. “ You m ake m e l augh s o t ha t I c an ha rdl y hol d you! An d don’ t ke ep your m out h s o wi de ope n! Al l

t he a sh es w il l g et i nt o i t - - t he re , n ow I t hi nk y ou ’r e t id y e no ug h! ” s he a dd ed , a s s he s mo ot he d h is h ai r,

a nd s et h im d ow n v er y c ar ef ul ly u po n t he t ab le n ea r t he Q ue en .

T he K in g i mm ed iately f el l f lat o n h is b ack, and l ay p er fect ly s ti ll and A li ce w as a l it tl e alarm ed at w hat

s he h ad don e, a nd w en t r ound t he r oom t o s ee i f s he c ou ld f ind a ny w at er t o t hr ow ov er hi m. Ho we ve r,

s he c oul d f ind not hi ng but a bot tl e of i nk, a nd wh en s he got ba ck wi th it s he f ou nd he ha d r ec ov er ed, a nd

h e a nd t he Q ue en w er e t al ki ng t og et he r i n a f ri gh te ne d w hi sp er - - s o l ow , t ha t A li ce c ou ld h ar dl y h ea r

w hat t hey s ai d.



Th e Ki ng w as s ayi ng, “ I a ss ure you, my de ar , I t ur ne d c ol d t o t he ve ry e nds of my whi ske rs !” To wh ic h

t he Q ueen r ep li ed , “Yo u h av en ’t g ot any w hi sk er s. ”

“Th e h or ro r o f t hat m om en t, ” t he K in g w en t o n, “I s hall n ev er , n ev er f or get! ”

“Yo u w il l, t ho ug h, ” t he Q ueen s ai d, “if y ou d on ’t m ak e a m em or an du m o f i t. ”

A li ce l oo ke d o n, w it h g re at i nt er es t a s t he K in g t oo k a n e no rm ou s m em or an du m- bo ok o ut o f h is

pocket, and began writing. A sudden thought struck her, and she took hold of the end of the pencil,

w hi ch cam e s om e w ay o ver h is s ho ul der, and b eg an w ri ti ng f or h im .

T he p oo r K in g l oo ked p uzzl ed and u nh ap py , and s tr ug gl ed w it h t he p en ci l f or s om e t im e w it ho ut s ay in g

a ny th in g; b ut A li ce w as t oo s tr on g f or hi m, a nd a t l as t h e pa nt ed o ut , “ My d ea r! I r ea ll y m us t g et a t hi nn er

pencil. I can’t manage this one a bit; “it writes all manner of things that I don’t intend -- -”

“ Wh at m ann er of t hi ngs ?” s ai d t he Q ue en, l oo ki ng o ve r t he b oo k ( in w hi ch A li ce h ad p ut “ Th e W hi te

K ni gh t i s s li di ng d ow n t he p ok er . H e b al an ces v er y b ad ly ”) . “Th at ’s n ot a m em or an du m o f y ou r

feelings!”

The re w as a book l yi ng ne ar Al ice on t he t abl e, a nd whi le s he s at wa tc hi ng t he W hi te Ki ng ( for s he wa s

s ti ll a l it tl e a nxi ou s a bou t h im, a nd h ad t he i nk a ll r ea dy t o t hr ow o ve r : hi m, i n c as e h e f ai nt ed a ga in ), s he

t ur ne d o ve r t he l ea ve s, t o f ind s om e pa rt t ha t s he c oul d r ea d, ” - - f or i t’ s a ll i n s om e l angu age I do n’ t

k no w, ” s he s ai d t o h er se lf . I t w as l ik e t hi s.



S he p uz zl ed o ve r t hi s f or s om e t im e, b ut a t l as t a b ri gh t t hou gh t s tr uc k h er . “ Wh y, i t’ s a L oo ki ng -g la ss

book of course! And if I hold it up to a glass, the words will all go the right way again.” This was the

poem that Alice read.



“JABBERWOCKY”

‘ Tw as b ri ll ig , a nd t he s li th y t ov es

D id gy re and gi mbl e i n th e wab e;

All mimsy were the borogoves,

And the mome raths outgrabe.



“Beware the jabberwock, my son.

The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!

B ew ar e t he j ub ju b b ir d, a nd s hu n

T h e f r u mi o u s B a n der s n at ch ! ”

He t ook hi s v or pal s wor d i n ha nd :

Long time the manxome foe he sought --

So rested he by the Tumtum tree,

And stood awhile in thought.

And as in uffish thought he stood,

The jabberwock, with eyes of flame,

Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,

A nd b ur bl ed a s i t c am e!

O ne , t wo ! O ne , t wo ! A nd t hr ou gh a nd t hr ou gh

T he v or pa l b la de w en t s ni c ke r- s na ck !

He left it dead, and with its head

He went galumphing back.

“And has thou slain the jabberwock?

Come to my arms, my beamish boy!

O f r ab jo us d ay ! C al l oo h! C al l ay ! ”

H e c hor tl ed i n hi s j oy .



‘ Tw as b ri ll ig , a nd t he s li th y t ov es



And the mome raths outgrabe.

“ It s ee ms v er y p re tt y, ” s he s ai d w he n s he h ad f in is he d i t, “ bu t i t’ sr at he r h ar d t o u nd er st an d! ” ( Yo u s ee

s he d id n’ t l ik e t o c on fe ss e ve n t o h er se lf , t ha t s he c ou ld n’ t m ak e i t o ut a t a ll .) “ Som eh ow i t s ee ms t o f il l

m y h ead w it h i deas - - o nl y I d on ’t exact ly k no w w hat t hey are! H ow ev er , s om eb od y k il led s om et hi ng :

t ha t’ s c le ar , a t a ny r at e - - - ”

“ But o h! ” t ho ug ht A li ce , s ud de nl y j um pi ng u p, “ if I d on’ t m ak e h as te I s ha ll h av e t o g o b ac k t hr ou gh t he

L oo ki ng -g la ss , b ef or e I ’v e s ee n w ha t t he r es t o f t he h ou se i s l ik e! L et ’s h av e a l oo k a t t he g ar de n f ir st !”

Sh e w as out of t he r oom i n a m ome nt , a nd r an d own st ai rs - - o r, a t l ea st , i t w as n’ t e xa ct ly r unni ng, bu t a

n ew i nv en ti on f or g et ti ng d ow ns tair s q ui ck ly and eas il y, as A li ce s ai d t o h er self . S he j us t k ep t t he t ip s o f

h er f in gers o n t he h an d- rail , and f lo at ed g en tl y d ow n w it ho ut even t ou ch in g t he s tair s w it h h er f eet; t hen

s he f lo at ed o n t hr ou gh t he h al l, a nd w ou ld h av e g on e s tr ai gh t o ut a t t he d oo r i n t he s am e w ay , i f s he

h ad n’ t c au gh t h ol d o f t he do or -p os t. S he w as g et ti ng a l it tl e g id dy w it h s o m uc h f lo at in g i n t he a ir , a nd

w as r at her g lad t o f in d h er self w al ki ng again i n t he n at ur al w ay .

“The Garden of Live

Flowers”I SHO ULD s ee t he ga rde n f ar be tt er ,” s ai d A li ce t o he rs el f, “ if I c oul d ge t t o t he t op of t ha t hi ll : a nd

her e’s a pat h t ha t le ads s tr ai ght t o it -- a t l ea st , no, i t doe sn’t do that - - -” (a ft er going a f ew yar ds along

t he p at h, a nd t ur ni ng s ev er al s ha rp c or ne rs ), “ bu t I s up po se i t w il l a t l as t. B ut h ow c ur io us ly i t t wi st s! I t’ sm or e l ik e a c or ks cr ew t ha n a pa th! W el l, t hi s t ur n g oe s t o t he hi ll , I s uppo se - - no , i t do es n’ t! Th is go es

s tr ai gh t b ac k t o t he h ou se ! W el l t he n, I ’l l t ry i t t he o th er w ay .”

A nd s o s he d id : w an de ri ng u p a nd d ow n, a nd “ tr yi ng t ur n a ft er t ur n, b ut a lw ay s c om in g b ac k t o t he

h ou se , d o w ha t s he w ou ld . I nd ee d, o nc e, w he n s he t ur ne d a c or ne r r at he r m or e q ui ck ly t ha n u su al , s he

r an a ga in st i t b ef or e s he c ou ld s to p h er se lf .

“ It ’s n o u se t al ki ng a bo ut i t, ” A li ce s ai d, l oo ki ng u p a t t he h ous e a nd p re te nd in g i t w as a rg ui ng w it h h er .

“ I’ m n ot g oi ng i n a ga in y et . I k no w I s ho ul d h ave t o g et t hr ou gh t he L oo ki ng -g la ss a ga in - - b ac k i nt o t he

ol d r oo m - - a nd t he re ’d b e a n e nd o f a ll m y a dve nt ur es !”

S o, r es ol ut el y t ur ni ng h er b ac k u po n t he h ou se s he s et o ut o nc e m or e d ow n t he p at h, d et er mi ne d t o

kee p s tr ai ght on ti ll s he got to t he hil l. For a fe w mi nut es a ll we nt on wel l, and s he wa s j ust s ayi ng, “ I



r ea ll y s ha ll do i t t hi s t ime - - - ” whe n t he p at h ga ve a s udde n t wi st a nd s ho ok i ts el f ( as s he de sc ri be d i t

aft er ward s) , and t he n ex t m om en t s he f ou nd h er self act uall y w al ki ng i n at t he d oo r.

“ Oh, i t’ s t oo ba d! ” s he c ri ed. “ I ne ve r s aw s uc h a hou se f or g et ti ng i n t he w ay! Ne ve r! ”

H ow eve r, t he re w as t he h il l f ul l i n s igh t, s o t he re w as no th in g t o be d on e b ut s ta rt a ga in . T hi s t im e s he

c am e u po n a l ar ge f lo we r- be d, w it h a b or de r o f d ai si es , a nd a w il lo w- tr ee g ro wi ng i n t he m id dl e.

“O T ig er -l il y, ” s ai d A li ce, add ress in g h er self t o o ne t hat w as w av in g g racefu ll y abo ut i n t he w in d, “I w is hyou could talk!”

“We can t al k, ” s ai d t he T ig er -l il y: “wh en t here’s any bo dy w or th t al ki ng t o. ”

A li ce w as s o a st on is he d t ha t s he c ou ld n’ t s pe ak f or a m in ut e: i t q ui te s ee me d t o t ak e h er b re at h a wa y.

A t l en gt h, a s t he T ige r- li ly on ly w en t on w av in g a bo ut , s he s po ke a ga in , i n a t im id v oi ce - - a lm os t i n a

w hi sp er . “An d can all t he f lo wers t al k?”

“ As w el l a s y ou c an ,” s ai d t he T ig er -l il y. “ An d a g re at d ea l l ou de r. ”

“ It i sn ’t m an ne rs f or u s t o b eg in , y ou k no w, ” s ai d t he R os e, “ an d I r ea ll y w as w on de ri ng w he n y ou ’d

s pe ak! S ai d I t o mys el f. “ He r f ac e ha s got s ome s ens e i n i t, t hough i t’ s not a c le ve r one !’ St il l you’ re t he



r ig ht c ol ou r, a nd t ha t g oe s a l on g w ay .”

“ I d on ’t c ar e a bo ut t he c ol ou r, ” t he T ig er -l il y r em ar ke d. “ If o nl y h er p et al s c ur le d u p a l it tl e m or e, s he ’d

be all right.”

Alice didn’t like being criticised, so she began asking questions: “Aren’t you sometimes frightened at

being planted out here, with nobody to take care of you?”

“ Th er e’ s t he t re e i n t he m id dl e, ” s ai d t he R os e.

“ Wh at e ls e i s i t g oo d f or ?”

“ Bu t w ha t c ou ld i t d o, i f a ny d an ge r c am e? ” A li ce a sk ed .

“ It c ou ld b ar k, ” s ai d t he R os e.

“It s ay s “Bo ug h- wo ug h, ” cri ed a D ai sy : “th at ’s w hy i ts b ranches are cal led b ou gh s! ”

“Di dn ’t y ou k no w t hat?” cri ed ano th er D ai sy , and h er e t hey all b eg an s ho ut in g t og et her, t il l t he air

seemed quite full of little shrill voices. “Silence, every one of you!” cried the Tiger-lily, waving itself

passionately from side to side, and trembling with excitement. “They know I can’t get at them!” panted,

bending its quivering head towards Alice, “or they wouldn’t dare do it!”

“ Ne ve r m in d! ” A li ce s ai d i n a s oo th in g t on e, a nd s to opi ng d ow n t o t he d ai si es , w ho w er e j us t b e g in ni ng

again , s he w hi sp er ed , “If y ou d on ’t h ol d y ou r t on gu es , I ’l l p ick y ou !”

T he re w as s il en ce i n a m om en t, a nd s ev er al o f t he p in k da is ie s t ur ne d w hi te .

“Th at ’s r ig ht !” s ai d t he T ig er -l il y. “Th e d ai si es are w or st o f all . W hen o ne s peak s, t hey all b eg in t og et her,

a nd i t’ s e noug h t o ma ke one w it he r t o he ar t he wa y t he y g o on! ”

“ Ho w i s i t y ou c an a ll t al k s o ni ce ly ?” A li ce s ai d, h op in g t o g et i t i nt o a b et te r t em pe r b y a c om pl im ent .

“ I’ ve b ee n i n m an y g ar de ns b ef or e, b ut n on e o f t he f lo we rs c ou ld t al k. ”

“Pu t y ou r h an d d ow n, and f eel t he g ro un d, ” s ai d t he T ig er -l il y. “Th en y ou ’l l k no w w hy .”

Al ic e di d s o. “ It ’s ve ry h ar d,” s he s ai d, “ but I d on ’t s ee wh at t ha t h as t o do w it h i t.”

“ In m os t g ar de ns ,” t he T ig er -l il y s ai d, “ th ey m ak e t he b ed s t oo s of t - - s o t ha t t he f lo we rs a re a lw ay s

asleep.”

T hi s s ou nd ed a v er y g oo d r ea so n, a nd A li ce w as q ui te p le as ed t o k no w i t. “ I n ev er t ho ug ht o f t ha t

before!” she said.

“ It ’s m y o pi ni on y ou n ev er t hi nk a t a ll ,” t he R os e s ai d i n a r at he r s ev er e t on e.

“ I n ev er s aw a ny bo dy t ha t l oo ke d s tu pi de r, ” a V io le t s ai d, s o s ud de nl y, t ha t A li ce q ui te j um pe d; f or i t

h adn ’ t s po ken b efo re.

“ Ho ld y ou r t on gu e! ” c ri ed t he T ig er -l il y. “ As i f y ou e ve r s aw a ny bo dy ! Y ou k ee p y ou r h ea d u nd er t he

l ea ve s, a nd s nore a wa y the re t ill you know no mor e wha t’ s going on i n t he worl d, tha n if you w er e a



bud!”

“ Ar e t he re a ny m or e p eo pl e i n t he g ar de n b es id es m e? ” A li ce s ai d, n ot c ho os in g t o n ot ic e t he R os e’ s

last remark.

“ Th er e’ s o ne o th er f lo we r i n t he g ar de n t ha t c an m ov e a bo ut l ik e y ou ,” s ai d t he R os e. “ I w on de r h ow

y ou d o i t - - - ” ( “Y ou ’r e a lw ay s w on de ri ng ,” s ai d t he T ig er -l il y) , “ bu t s he ’s m or e b us hy t ha n y ou a re .”

“Is s he l ik e m e?” A li ce ask ed eag er ly , f or t he t ho ug ht cro ss ed h er m in d. “Th er e’ s ano th er l it tl e g ir l i n t he

garden somewhere!”

“ We ll , s he h as t he s am e a wk wa rd s ha pe a s yo u, ” t he R os e s ai d: “ but s he ’s r ed de r - - a nd h er p et al s a re

shorter, I think.”

“Her p et al s are d on e u p clo se, alm os t l ik e a d ah li a, ” t he T ig er -l il y i nt er ru pt ed : “no t t um bl ed abo ut

anyhow, like yours.”

“ Bu t t ha t’ s n ot y ou r f au lt ,” t he R os e a dd ed k in dl y: “ yo u’ re b eg in ni ng t o f ad e, y ou k no w - - a nd t he n o ne

c an ’t h el p o ne ’s p et al s g et ti ng a l it tl e un ti dy .” A li ce di dn ’t l ik e t hi s i de a a t a ll : s o, t o c ha ng e t he s ub je ct ,

s he a sk ed , “ Do es s he e ve r c om e o ut h er e? ”

“ I d ar es ay y ou ’l l s ee h er s oo n, ” s ai d t he R os e, “ Sh e’ s o ne o f t he t ho rn y k in d. ”

“ Wh er e d oe s s he w ea r t he t ho rn s? ” A li ce a sk ed w it h s om e c ur io si ty .

“ Wh y, a ll r ou nd h er h ea d, o f c ou rs e, ” t he R os e r ep li ed . “ I w as w on de ri ng y ou h ad n’ t g ot s om e t oo . I

t ho ug ht i t w as t he r eg ul ar r ul e. ”

“Sh e’ s com in g! ” cri ed t he L ar ks pu r. “I h ear h er f oo ts tep, t hu mp , t hu mp , alo ng t he g ravel- walk !” A li ce

l oo ke d r ou nd e ag er ly , a nd f ou nd t ha t i t w as t he R ed Q ue en . “ Sh e’ s g ro wn a g oo d d ea l! ” w as h er f ir st

r em ar k. S he h ad i nd ee d: w he n A li ce f ir st f ou nd h er i n t he a sh es , s he h ad b ee n o nl y t hr ee i nc he s h ig h - -

a nd h er e s he w as , h al f a h ea d t al le r t ha n A li ce h er se lf !

“ It ’s t he f re sh a ir t ha t d oe s i t, ” s ai d t he R os e: “ wo nd er fu ll y f in e a ir i t i s, o ut h er e. ”



“ I t hi nk I ’l l g o a nd m ee t he r, ” s ai d A li ce , f or , t ho ug h t he f low er s w er e v er y i nt er es ti ng , s he f el t t ha t i t

w oul d be f ar g ra nde r t o h av e a t al k w it h a r ea l Qu ee n.

“ Yo u c an ’t p os si bl y d o t ha t, ” s ai d t he R os e: “ I s ho ul d a dv is e y ou t o w al k t he o th er w ay .” T hi s s ou nd ed

no ns ens e t o A li ce s o s he s ai d n ot hi ng , b ut s et of f a t on ce t owa rds t he R ed Q ue en. To he r s ur pr is e, s he

l os t s ig ht o f h er i n a m om en t, a nd f ou nd h er se lf w al ki ng i n a t t he f ro nt -d oor a ga in .

A l it tl e p ro vo ke d, s he d re w b ac k a nd , a ft er l oo ki ng e ve ry wh er e f or t he Q ue en ( wh om s he s pi ed o ut a t

l as t, a l on g w ay o ff ), s he t ho ugh t s he w ou ld t ry t he p la n, t hi s t im e, o f w al ki ng i n t he o ppo si te d ir ec ti on.

I t s uc ce ed ed b ea ut if ul ly . S he h ad no t b ee n w al ki ng a m in ut e b ef or e s he f ou nd h er se lf f ac e t o f ac e w it h

t he R ed Q ue en, a nd f ul l i n s igh t of t he h il l s he ha d b ee n s o l on g a im in g a t.

“ Wh er e d o y ou c om e f ro m? ” s ai d t he R ed Q ue en . “ An d w he re a re y ou g oi ng ? L oo k u p, s pe ak n ic el y,and d on ’t t wi dd le y ou r f in gers all t he t im e. ”

A li ce a tt en de d t o a ll t he se d ir ec ti on s, a nd e xp la in ed , a s w el l a s s he c ou ld , t ha t s he h ad l os t h er w ay .

“ I do n’ t know w ha t you me an b y y our wa y, ” s ai d t he Que en : “ al l t he wa ys a bout he re be lon g t ome - -

but why did you come out here at all?” she added in a kinder tone. “Curtsey while you’re thinking what

t o s ay. I t s ave s t im e.” Al ic e w onde re d a l it tl e a t t hi s, but s he wa s t oo m uc h i n a we of t he Q ue en t o

di sb el ie ve i t. “ I’ ll t ry i t w he n I g o h om e, ” s he t ho ug ht t o he rs el f, “ th e n ex t t im e I ’m a l it tl e l at e f or d inn er .”

“ It ’s t im e f or y ou t o a ns we r n ow ,” t he Q ue en s ai d, l oo ki ng a t h er w at ch : “ op en y ou r m ou th a l it tl e w id er w hen y ou s peak, and alw ay s s ay “yo ur M aj est y. ’”



“ I on ly w an te d t o s ee wh at t he g ar de n w as l ik e, yo ur M aj es ty - - - ”

“Th at ’s r ig ht ,” s ai d t he Q ueen , p at ti ng h er o n t he h ead, w hi ch A li ce d id n’ t l ik e at all : “th ou gh , w hen y ou

s ay “gard en , ‘ I’ ve s een g ar dens , com pared w it h w hi ch t hi s w ou ld b e a w il dern es s. ”

Alice didn’t dare to a rgue the poi nt, but we nt on: “ -- and I thought I’d try a nd find my way to the t op of

t ha t hi ll - - - ”

“Wh en y ou s ay “hi ll ,’ “ t he Q ueen i nt er ru pt ed , “I cou ld s ho w y ou h il ls , i n com pari so n w it h w hi ch y ou ’d

cal l t hat a v al ley. ”

“No , I s ho ul dn ’t ,” s ai d A li ce, s ur pr is ed i nt o con tr ad icti ng h er at l as t: “a h il l can ’t b e a v al ley, y ou k no w,

T ha t w ou ld b e n ons en se - - - ”

T he R ed Q ue en s ho ok h er h ea d. “ Yo u m ay c al l i t ‘ no ns en se ’ i f y ou l ik e, ” s he s ai d, “ bu t I ’v e h ea rd

n on sens e, com pared w it h w hi ch t hat w ou ld b e as s en si bl e as a d icti on ar y! ”

- Al ic e c ur ts ey ed a ga in , a s s he w as a fr ai d f ro m t he Q ue en ’s t on e t ha t s he w as a l it tl e o ff en de d: a nd t he y

w al ke d on i n s il enc e t il l t he y g ot t o t he t op of t he l it tl e h il l.

F or s om e m in ut es A li ce s to od w it ho ut s pe ak in g, l oo ki ng o ut i n a ll d ir ec ti on s o ve r t he c ou nt ry - - a nd a

m os t c ur io us c ou nt ry i t w as . T he re w er e a n um be r o f l it tl e b ro ok s r un ni ng a cr os s f ro m s id e t o s id e, a ndt he g ro un d b et we en w as d iv id ed u p i nt o s qu ar es b y a n um be r o f h ed ge s, t ha t r ea ch ed f ro m b ro ok t o

brook.

“ I d ec la re i t’ s m ar ke d o ut j us t l ik e a l ar ge c he ss bo ar d! ” A li ce s ai d a t l as t. “ Th er e o ug ht t o b e s om e m en

m ov ing a bout s om ewh er e - - a nd s o t he re a re !” s he a dd ed i n a t one o f de li ght , a nd h er he ar t be ga n t o

beat quick with excitement as she went on. “It’s a great game of chess that’s being played -- all over the

world -- if this is the world at all, you know. Oh, what fun it is! How I wish I was one of them! don’t

mi nd be ing a Pa wn , i f onl y I mi ght j oi n - - t hough of c our se I s houl d li ke to be a Q ue en, be st .’

S he g la nc ed r at he r s hy ly a t t he r ea l Q ue en a s s he s ai d t hi s, bu t h er c om pa ni on on ly s mi le d p le as an tl y,

a nd s ai d, “ Th at ’s e as il y m an ag ed . Y ou c an b e t he W hi te Q ue en ’s P aw n, i f y ou l ik e, a s L il y’ s t oo y ou ng

t o p la y; a nd y ou ’r e i n t he S ec on d S qu ar e t o b eg in w it h: w he n y ou g et i nt o t he E igh th S qu ar e y ou ’l l b e a

Q ue en - - - ” J us t a t t hi s m ome nt , s om eh ow or o th er , t he y b eg an t o r un.



A li ce ne ve r c oul d q ui te m ak e ou t, i n t hi nk ing i t o ve r a ft er wa rd s, h ow i t w as t ha t t he y b ega n: a ll s he

r em em be rs i s, t ha t t he y w er e r un ni ng h an d i n h an d, a nd t he Q ue en w en t s o f as t t ha t i t w as a ll s he c ou ld

d o t o k ee p u p w it h h er : a nd s ti ll t he Q ue en k ep t c ry in g “ Fa st er !” b ut A li ce f el t s he c ou ld n ot g o f as te r,

t houg h s he ha d no br ea th t o s ay s o. Th e m os t c ur io us pa rt of t he t hi ng w as , t ha t t he t re es a nd t he o the r

t hi ng s r ou nd t he m n ev er c ha ng ed t he ir p la ce s a t a ll : h ow ev er f as t t he y w en t, t he y n ev er s ee me d t o p as s

any th in g. “I w on der i f all t he t hi ng s m ov e alo ng w it h u s?” t ho ug ht p oo r p uzzl ed A li ce. A nd t he Q ueens ee me d t o g ue ss h er t ho ug ht s, f or s he c ri ed , “ Fa st er ! D on ’t t ry t o t al k! ”

N ot t ha t Al ic e ha d a ny i de a of doi ng t ha t. S he f el t a s i f s he w oul d ne ve r b e a bl e t o t al k a ga in , s he w as

g et ti ng s o o ut o f b re at h: a nd s ti ll t he Q ue en c ri ed , “ Fa st er ! F as te r! ” a nd d ra gg ed h er a lo ng . “ Ar e w e

n ea rl y t he re ?” A li ce m an ag ed t o p an t o ut a t l as t.

“ Ne ar ly t he re !” t he Q ue en r ep ea te d. “ Wh y, w e p as se d i t t en m in ut es a go ! F as te r! ” A nd t he y r an o n f or

a t im e i n s il en ce, w it h t he w in d w hi st li ng i n A li ce’s ear s, and alm os t b lo wi ng h er h ai r o ff h er h ead, s he

fancied.

“ Now ! N ow! ” c ri ed t he Q ue en . “ Fa st er ! F as te r! ” An d t he y we nt s o f as t t ha t a t l as t t he y s ee me d t o s ki m

t hr ou gh t he air , h ar dl y t ou ch in g t he g ro un d w it h t heir f eet, t il l s ud denl y, j us t as A li ce w as g et ti ng q ui te

exh au st ed , t hey s to pp ed , and s he f ou nd h er self s it ti ng o n t he g ro un d, b reat hl es s and g id dy . T he Q ueen

propped her against a tree, and said kindly, “You may rest a little now.”

A li ce l oo ke d r ou nd h er i n g re at s ur pr is e. “ Wh y, I d o b el ie ve w e’ ve b ee n u nd er t hi s t re e a ll t he t im e!

Everything’s just as it was!”

“ Of c ou rs e i t i s, ” s ai d t he Q ue en : “ wha t w oul d y ou ha ve i t? ”

“Well , i n o ur cou nt ry ,” s ai d A li ce, s ti ll p an ti ng a l it tl e, “yo u’ d g en er al ly g et t o s om ew here els e - - i f y ou

r an v er y f as t f or a l on g t im e, a s w e’ ve b ee n d oi ng .”

“ A s low s or t of c oun tr y! ” s ai d t he Que en. “ Now , he re , you s ee , i t t ake s a ll t he r unni ng you c an d o, t oke ep i n t he s ame pl ac e. I f y ou wa nt t o ge t s om ew he re e ls e, y ou mus t r un a t l ea st t wi ce a s f as t a s t ha t! ”



“ I’ d r at he r no t t ry , pl ea se !” s ai d Al ic e. “ I’ m qu it e c ont en t t o s ta y h er e - - o nl y I a m s o hot a nd t hi rs ty! “

“ I k no w w ha t y ou ’d l ik e! ” t he Q ue en s ai d g oo d- na tu re dl y, t ak in g a l it tl e b ox o ut o f h er p oc ke t, “ Ha ve a

biscuit?”

Al ic e t hought i t wo uld not be c ivi l t o s ay “ No, ” t hough i t wa sn’ t a t a ll wha t s he w an te d. So s he t ook it ,

a nd a te i t a s w el l a s s he c oul d: a nd i t w as ve ry dr y; a nd s he t houg ht s he ha d ne ve r be en s o ne ar ly c hok edi n all h er l if e.

“Wh il e y ou ’r e r ef resh in g y ou rs el f, ” s ai d t he Q ueen , “I’ ll j us t t ak e t he m easu rement s. ” A nd s he t oo k a

r ib bo n o ut o f h er p ocket, m ar ked i n i nches, and b eg an m easu ri ng o ut t he g ro un d, and s ti ck in g l it tl e p eg s

i n h er e a nd t he re .

“ At the e nd of t wo ya rds ,” sh e s aid, put ti ng i n a pe g t o ma rk t he di st anc e, “ I s ha ll gi ve you your

directions -- have another biscuit?”

“No , t hank y ou ,” s ai d A li ce: “on e’ s q ui te eno ug h! ”

“Th ir st q uenched, I h op e?” s ai d t he Q ueen.

A li ce di d not know wh at t o s ay t o t hi s, but l uc ki ly t he Q ue en di d n ot wa it f or a n a ns we r, but we nt on.

“ At t he e nd of t hr ee ya rds I s ha ll r epe at t he m - - f or f ea r of your f or ge tt ing t he m. At t he e nd of f our , I

s ha ll s ay goodbye . And a t t he e nd of fi ve , I s ha ll go! ”

S he ha d got a ll t he pe gs p ut i n by t hi s t ime , a nd Al ic e l ooke d on w it h gr ea t i nt er es t a s s he r et ur ne d t o t he

t re e, a nd t he n b eg an s lo wl y w al ki ng d ow n t he r ow .

At t he t wo -ya rd pe g s he f ac ed r ou nd, a nd s ai d, “ A pa wn g oe s t wo s qua re s i n i ts f ir st mo ve So y ou’ ll gov er y q ui ck ly t hr ou gh t he T hi rd S qu ar e - - b y r ai lw ay , I s ho ul d t hi nk - - and y ou ’l l f in d y ou rs el f i n t he

F ou rt h S qu ar e i n n o t im e. W el l, t ha t s qu ar e b el on gs t o T we ed le du m a nd T we ed le de e - - t he F if th i s

m os tl y w at er - - t he S ix th b el on gs t o H um pt y D um pt y - - b ut y ou m ak e n o r em ar k? ”

“I -- I didn’t know I ha d to make one - - j us t t he n “ Ali ce fa lt ere d out.

“ You s houl d ha ve s ai d, ” t he Qu ee n w ent on i n a t one o f gr av e r epr oof , “

“ It ’s e xt re me ly k in d o f y ou t o t el l m e a ll t hi s’ - - h ow ev er , w e’ ll s up po se i t s ai d - - t he S ev en th S qu ar e i s

a ll f or es t - - how eve r, one of t he K ni ght s wi ll s how you t he wa y - - a nd i n t he Ei ght h Squa re we s ha ll beQ ue en s t og et he r, a nd i t’ s a ll f ea st in g a nd f un !” A li ce g ot u p a nd c ur ts ey ed , a nd s at d ow n a ga in .

A t t he n ex t p eg t he Q ue en t ur ne d a ga in , a nd s ai d, “ Sp ea k i n F re nc h w he n y ou c an ’t t hi nk o f t he E ng li sh

for a thing -- turn out your toes as you wa lk -- and re me mber who you a re!” She did not wa it for Al ice

t o c ur ts ey t hi s t im e, b ut w al ke d o n q ui ck ly t o t he n ex t p eg , w he re s he t ur ne d t o s ay “ go od -b ye ,” a nd t he n

h ur ri ed o n t o t he l as t.

Ho w i t h ap pe ne d, A li ce ne ve r k ne w, bu t e xa ct ly a s s he c ame t o t he l as t pe g, s he w as g on e. W he th er

s he v an is he d i nt o t he a ir , o r r an qu ic kl y i nt o t he w ood ( “a nd s he c an r un v er y f as t! ” t ho ugh t A li ce ), t he re

w as no w ay of gu es si ng, but s he wa s g one , a nd Al ic e be ga n t o r em em be r t ha t s he w as a Pa wn , a nd t ha t

i t wou ld s oon be t ime t o move .



“ Lo o ki ng -g la s s I ns ec ts ”O F c our se t he f ir st t hi ng t o d o wa s ma ke a gr and s ur ve y o f t he c ount ry s he wa s goi ng t o t ra ve l t hr oug h.

“It ’s s om et hi ng v er y l ik e l earn in g g eo gr ap hy ,” t ho ug ht A li ce, as s he s to od o n t ip to e i n h op es o f b ei ng abl et o s ee a l it tl e f ur th er . “ Pr in ci pa l r iv er s – t he re a re n on e. P ri nc ip al m ou nt ai ns - - I ’m o n t he o nl y o ne , b ut I

d on ’t t hi nk i t’ s g ot a ny n am e. P ri nc ip al t ow ns - - w hy , w ha t a re t ho se c re at ur es , m ak in g h on ey d ow n

the re ? The y ca n’ t be bee s - - nobody eve r s aw be es a mi le of f you know -- - ” a nd f or some mi nute s s he

s to od s il en t, w at ch in g o ne o f t hem t hat w as b us tl in g abo ut amo ng t he f lo wers , p ok in g i ts p ro bo scis i nt o

t he m, “ ju st a s i f i t w as a r eg ul ar b ee ,” t ho ugh t A li ce .

H ow ev er , t hi s w as a ny th in g b ut a r eg ul ar b ee : i n f ac t, i t w as a n e le ph an t - - a s A li ce s oo n f ou nd o ut ,

t ho ug h t he i de a q ui te t oo k h er b re at h a wa y a t f ir st . “ An d w ha t e no rm ou s f lo we rs t he y m us t b e! ” w as h er

n ex t i de a. “ So me th in g l ik e c ot ta ge s w it h t he r oo fs t ak en o ff , a nd s ta lk s p ut t o t he m - - a nd w ha t q ua nt it ie s

of hone y t he y m us t m ake ! I t hi nk I ’l l go dow n a nd - - no , I won’ t go j us t ye t, ” s he we nt on, c he ck ing

h er se lf j us t a s s he w as b eg in ni ng t o r un d ow n t he hi ll , a nd t ry in g t o f in d s om e e xc us e f or t ur ni ng s hy s o

s ud de nl y. “ It ’l l n ev er d o t o g o d ow n a mo ng t he m w it ho ut a g oo d l on g b ra nc h t o b ru sh t he m a wa y - - a nd

what fun it’ll be when they ask me how I liked my walk. I shall say -- “Oh, I liked it well enough -- -’

( he re c am e t he f av ou ri te l it tl e t os s o f t he h ea d) , “ on ly i t w as s o d us ty a nd h ot , a nd t he e le ph an ts d id t ea se

so!’ “

“ I t hi nk I ’l l g o d ow n t he o th er w ay ,” s he s ai d a ft er a p au se : “ an d p er ha ps I m ay v is it t he e le ph an ts l at er

on . Be si de s, I do s o w an t t o ge t i nt o t he T hi rd S qu ar e! ”

S o w it h t hi s e xc us e s he r an d ow n t he h il l a nd j um pe d o ve r t he f ir st s ix l it tl e b ro ok s.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“ Ti ck et s, p le as e! ” s ai d t he G ua rd , p ut ti ng h is h ea d i n a t t he w in do w. I n a m om en t e ve ry bo dy w as

h ol di ng o ut a t ic ke t : t he y w er e a bo ut t he s am e s iz e a s t he p eo pl e, a nd q ui te s ee me d t o f il l t he c ar ri ag e.

“ No w t he n! S ho w y ou r t ic ke t, c hi ld! ” t he G ua rd w en t o n, l oo ki ng a ng ri ly a t A li ce . A nd a g re at m an y

v oi ces all s ai d t og et her ( “l ik e t he cho ru s o f a s on g, ” t ho ug ht A li ce), “Do n’ t k eep h im w ai ti ng , chi ld ! W hy ,

h is t im e i s w or th a t ho us an d p ou nd s a m in ut e! ”

“ I’ m a fr ai d I h av en ’t g ot o ne ,” A li ce s ai d i n a f ri gh te ne d t on e : “ th er e w as n’ t a t ic ke t- of fi ce w he re I c am ef ro m. ” A nd a ga in t he c ho ru s o f v oi ce s w en t o n. “ Th er e w as n’ t r oo m f or o ne w he re s he c am e f ro m. T he

l an d t he re i s w or th a t ho us an d p ou nd s a n i nc h! ”

“Do n’ t m ak e excus es ,” s ai d t he G uard : “yo u s ho ul d h av e b ou gh t o ne f ro m t he eng in e- dr iv er .” A nd o nce

m or e t he c ho ru s of v oi ce s w en t o n w it h “ The m an t ha t d ri ve s t he e ng in e. W hy , t he s mo ke a lo ne i s w or th

a t ho us an d p ou nd s a p uf f! ” A li ce t ho ug ht t o h er self , “Th en t here’s n o u se i n s peak in g. ” T he v oi ces d id n’ t

join in this time, as she hadn’t spoken, but, to her great surprise, they all thought in chorus (I hope you

u nd er st an d w ha t t hi nk in g i n c ho ru s m ea ns - - f or I m us t c on fe ss t ha t I d on ’t ), “ Be tt er s ay n ot hi ng a t a ll .

L an gu ag e i s w or th a t ho us an d p ou nd s a w or d! ”

“I s hall d ream abo ut a t ho us an d p ou nd s t on ig ht , I k no w I s hall !” t ho ug ht A li ce.

A ll t hi s t im e t he G ua rd w as l oo ki ng a t h er , f ir st t hr ou gh a t el es co pe , t he n t hr ou gh a m ic ro sc ope , a nd t he n



t hr ou gh a n o pe ra -g la ss . A t l as t h e s ai d, “ Yo u’ re t ra ve ll in g t he w ro ng w ay ,” a nd s hu t u p t he w in do w a nd

went away.

“ So y ou ng a c hi ld ,” s ai d t he g en tl em an s it ti ng o pp os it e t o h er ( he w as d re ss ed i n w hi te p ap er ), “ ou gh t t o

k no w w hi ch w ay s he ’s g oi ng , e ve n i f s he d oe sn’ t k no w h er o wn n am e! ”

A G oa t, t ha t w as s it ti ng n ex t t o t he g en tl em an i n w hi te , s hu t h is e ye s a nd s ai d i n a l ou d v oi ce , “ She o ug ht

t o k no w h er w ay t o t he t ic ke t- of fi ce e ve n i f s he d oe sn ’t k no w h er a lp ha be t! ”

Th er e w as a B ee tl e s it ti ng n ext t he Go at ( it w as a v er y q ue er s et of p as se ng er s a lt og et he r) , a nd , a s t he

r ul e s ee me d t o be t ha t th ey s houl d a ll s pe ak i n t ur n, he we nt on wi th “ She ’l l ha ve t o go ba ck f rom he re a s

luggage!”

A li ce c ou ld n’ t s ee w ho w as s it ti ng b ey on d t he B ee tl e, b ut a h oa rs e v oi ce s po ke n ex t. ‘ ”C ha ng e e ng in es

-- -” it s ai d, a nd the re it c hoked and wa s oblige d t o l ea ve of f.

“ It s ou nd s l ik e a h or se ,” A li ce t ho ug ht t o h er se lf . A nd a n e xt re me ly s ma ll v oi ce , c lo se t o h er e ar , s ai d,

Y ou m ig ht m ak e a j ok e o n t ha t - - s om et hi ng a bo ut ‘ ho rs e a nd h oa rs e’ , y ou k no w”

The n a ve ry ge nt le v oi ce i n t he d is ta nc e s ai d, “ She m us t be l ab el le d “ La ss , wi th c ar e, ’ y ou kno w - - - - “

A n a ft er t ha t o th er v oi ce s w en t o n ( “W ha t a n um be r o f p eo pl e t he re a re i n t he c ar ri ag e! ” t ho ug ht A li ce ),

s aying, “ She mus t go by post , a s s he’ s got a hea d on her -- - ”

“ She mus t be se nt a s a mes sa ge by the t ele gr aph -- -”

“She must dra w the tr ain he rse lf t he r est of t he way -- -” and so on.

B ut t he g en tl em an d re ss ed i n w hi te p ap er l ea ne d f or wa rd s a nd w hi sp er ed i n h er e ar , “ Ne ve r m in d w ha t

t he y a ll s ay , m y d ea r, b ut t ak e a r et ur n- ti ck et e ve ry t im e t he t ra in s to ps .”



“ in de ed I s ha n’ t! ” A li ce s ai d r at he r i mp at ie nt ly . “ I d on’ t b el on g t o t hi s r ai lw ay j ou rn ey a t a ll - - I w as i n a

wood j ust now -- and I wis h I c ould get ba ck t he re! ”

“ Yo u m ig ht m ak e a j ok e o n t ha t, ” s ai d t he l it tl e v oi ce c lo se t o he r e a : “ so me th in g a bo ut ‘ yo u w ou ld , i f

y ou cou ld ’, y ou k no w. ”

“ Do n’ t t ea se s o, ” s ai d A li ce , l oo ki ng a bo ut i n v ai n t o s ee w he re t he v oi ce c am e f ro m ; “ if y ou ’r e s o

a nx io us t o h av e a j ok e m ad e, w hy d on ’t y ou m ak e o ne y ou rs el f? ”

T he l it tl e v oi ce s ig hed d eepl y: i t w as v er y u nh ap py , evi dent ly , and A li ce w ou ld h av e s ai d s om et hi ng

pitying to comfort it, “if it would only sigh like other people!” she thought. But this was such a wonderfully

s ma ll s ig h, t ha t s he w ou ld n’ t ha ve h ea rd i t a t a ll , i f i t h ad n’ t c om e q ui te c lo se t o h er e ar . T he c on se qu en ce

o f t hi s w as t ha t i t t ic kl ed h er e ar v er y m uc h, a nd q ui te t oo k o ff h er t ho ug ht s f ro m t he u nh ap pi ne ss o f t he

poor little creature.

“ I know you a re a f ri end,” t he l it tl e voi ce we nt on; “ a de ar f ri end a nd a n ol d f rie nd, And you won’ t hur tm e, t ho ugh I a m a n i ns ec t. ”

“Wh at k in d o f i ns ect?” A li ce i nq ui red a l it tl e anx io us ly . W hat s he r eall y w an ted t o k no w w as , w heth er i t

c ou ld s ti ng o r n ot , b ut s he t ho ug ht t hi s w ou ld n’ t be q ui te a c iv il qu es ti on t o a sk .

“ Wh at t he n y ou d on ’t - - “ t he l it tl e v oi ce b eg an , w he n i t w as d ro wn ed b y a s hr il l s cr ea m f ro m t he e ng in e,

and every bo dy j um ped u p i n alarm , A li ce amo ng t he r es t.

The Ho rs e, w ho ha d put hi s he ad o ut of t he wi nd ow, q ui et ly dr ew i t i n a nd s ai d, “ It ’s o nl y a b rook w e

h av e t o j um p o ver. ” E very bo dy s eemed s at is fi ed w it h t hi s, t ho ug h A li ce f el t a l it tl e n er vo us at t he i dea o f

t ra in s j um pi ng a t a ll . “ Ho we ve r, i t’ ll t ak e u s i nt o t he F ou rt h S qu ar e, t ha t’ s s om e c om fo rt !” s he s ai d t oh er se lf . I n a no the r m om en t s he f el t t he c ar ri age r is e s tr ai gh t up i nt o t he a ir , a nd i n h er f ri gh t, s he c aug ht a t

t he t hi ng n ea re st t o h er h an d, w hi ch h ap pe ne d t o b e t he G oa t’ s b ea rd .

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

B ut t he be ar d s ee me d t o me lt a wa y a s s he t ouc he d i t, a nd s he f oun d h er se lf s it ti ng qu ie tl y und er a t re e - -

w hi le t he G na t ( fo r t ha t w as t he i ns ec t s he h ad b ee n t al ki ng t o) w as b al an ci ng i ts el f o n a t wi g j us t o ve r h er

h ead, and f an ni ng h er w it h i ts w in gs .

I t cer tain ly w as a v er y l ar ge G nat: “ab ou t t he s ize o f a chi ck en ,” A li ce t ho ug ht . S ti ll , s he cou ld n’ t f eeln er vo us w it h i t, aft er t hey h ad b een t al ki ng t og et her s o l on g.

“ - - t he n y ou d on ’t l ik e a ll i ns ec ts ?” t he G na t w en t o n, a s q ui et ly a s i f n ot hi ng h ad h ap pe ne d.

“ I l ik e t he m w he n t he y c an t al k, ” A li ce s ai d.

“ No ne o f t he m e ve r t al k, w he re I c om e f ro m. ”

“ Wh at s or t o f i ns ec ts d o y ou r ej oi ce i n, w he re y ou c om e f ro m? ” t he G na t i nq ui re d.

“ I d on ’t r ej oi ce i n i ns ec ts a t a ll ,” A li ce e xp la in ed , “ be ca us e I ’m r at he r a fr ai d o f t he m - - a t l ea st t he , l ar ge

kinds . But I c an te ll you the na me s of s om e of t he m.”



“Of cou rs e t hey ans wer t o t heir n am es ?” t he G nat r em ar ked car el es s ly .

“ I ne ve r kne w t he m t o do i t.”

“ Wh at ’s t he u se o f t he ir h av ing n am es ,” t he G na t s ai d, “ if t he y w on ’t a ns we r t o t he m? ”

“ No us e t o t he m,” s ai d Al ic e; “ but i t’ s u se ful t o t he pe opl e t ha t na me t he m, I s uppos e. I f not , wh y d ot hi ng s h av e n am es at all ?”

“ I c an’ t’ s ay, ” s ai d t he Gn at . “ In t he w oo d do wn t he re , t he y’ ve g ot no na me s - - h ow ev er , go o n wi th

your list of insects.”

“Well , t here’s t he H or se-f ly ,” A li ce b eg an , cou nt in g o ff t he n am es o n h er f in gers .

“Al l r ig ht ,” s ai d t he G nat: “half -w ay u p t hat b us h, y ou ’l l s ee a R ocki ng -h or se-f ly , i f y ou l oo k. I t’ s m ad e

ent ir el y o f w oo d, and g et s abo ut b y s wi ng in g i ts el f f ro m b ranch t o b ranch. ”

“Wh at d oes i t l iv e o n?” A li ce ask ed , w it h g reat cur io si ty .

“ Sa p a nd s aw du st ,” s ai d t he G na t. “ Go o n w it h t he l is t. ”

A li ce l oo ke d a t t he R oc ki ng -h or se -f ly w it h g re at i nt er es t, a nd m ad e u p h er m in d t ha t i t m us t h av e b ee n

just repainted, it looked so bright and sticky ; and then she went on.

“And there’s the Dragon-fly.”

“ Lo ok o n t he b ra nc h a bo ve y ou r h ea d, ” s ai d t he G na t, “ an d t he re y ou ’l l f in d a S na p- dr ag on -f ly . I ts

body is made of plum-pudding, its wings of holly-leaves, and its head is a raisin burning in brandy.”

“ An d w ha t d oe s i t l iv e o n? ” A li ce a sk ed , a s b ef or e.

“Fr um en ty and m in ce-p ie,” t he G nat r ep li ed ; “an d i t m ak es i ts n es t i n a C hr is tm as -b ox .”

“ An d t he n t he re ’s t he B ut te rf ly ,” A li ce w en t o n, a ft er s he h ad t ak en a g oo d l oo k a t t he i ns ec t w it h i ts

h ea d o n f ir e, a nd h ad t ho ug ht t o h er se lf , “ I w on de r i f t ha t’ s t he r ea so n i ns ec ts a re s o f on d o f f ly ing i nt o



cand les - - b ecau se t hey w an t t o t ur n i nt o S nap- dr ago n- fl i es ! ”

“ Cr aw li ng a t y ou r f ee t, ” s ai d t he G na t ( Al ic e d re w h er f ee t b ac k i n s om e a la rm ), “ yo u m ay o bs er ve a

B re ad -a nd -b ut te r- fl y. I ts w in gs a re t hi n s li ce s o f b re ad -a nd -b ut te r, i ts b od y i s a c ru st , a nd i ts h ea d i s a

lump of sugar.”

“ An d w ha t do es i t l iv e o n? ”

“ We ak t ea w it h c re am i n i t. ”

A new difficulty came into Alice’s head. “Supposing it couldn’t find any?” she suggested.

“Th en i t w ou ld d ie, o f cou rs e. ”

“But that must happen very often,” Alice remarked thoughtfully.

“I t alw ay s h ap pens ,” s ai d t he G nat.

A ft er t hi s, A li ce w as s il en t f or a m in ut e o r t wo , p on deri ng . T he G nat amu sed i ts el f m eanw hi le b y

h um mi ng r ou nd a nd r ou nd h er h ea d: a t l as t i t s et tl ed a ga in a nd r em ar ke d, “ I s up po se y ou d on ’t w an t t o

lose your name?”

“No , i nd eed, ” A li ce s ai d, a l it tl e anx io us .

“ An d ye t I do n’ t k no w, ” t he G na t w en t o n i n a c ar el es s t on e: “ on ly t hi nk h ow c on ve ni en t i t w ou ld be i f

y ou c ou ld m an ag e t o g o h om e w it ho ut i t. F or i ns ta nc e, i f t he g ov er ne ss w an te d t o c al l y ou t o y ou r l es so n,

s he w ou ld c al l o ut , ‘ Com e h er e - - , ’ a nd t he re s he wo ul d h av e t o l ea ve of f, b ec au se t he re w oul dn ’t b e

a ny na me f or he r t o c al l a nd of c ou rs e you woul dn’ t ha ve t o go, you know. ”

“Th at w ou ld n ev er d o, I ’m s ur e, ” s ai d A li ce: “th e g ov er ness w ou ld n ev er t hi nk o f excus in g m e l es so ns

f or t ha t. I f s he c ou ld n’ t. r em em be r m y n am e, s he ’d c al l m e ‘ Mi ss !’ a s t he s er va nt s d o. ”

“Well , i f s he s ai d “Mi ss ,’ and d id n’ t s ay any th in g m or e, ” t he G nat r em ar ked, “of cou rs e y ou ’d m is s y ou r

l es son s. Th at ’s a j oke . I w is h yo u ha d m ade i t. ”

“ Why do you wi sh I ha d ma de i t? ” A li ce a ske d.



“ It ’s a v er y b ad o ne .”

B ut t he G nat o nl y s ig hed d eepl y, w hi le t wo l ar ge t ears cam e r ol li ng d ow n i ts cheek s.

“Yo u s ho ul dn ’t m ak e j ok es ,” A li ce s ai d, “if i t m ak es y ou s o u nh ap py .”

T hen cam e ano th er o f t ho se m el an ch ol y l it tl e s ig hs , and t hi s t im e t he p oo r G nat r eall y s eemed t o h av e

s ig he d i ts el f a wa y, f or , w he n A li ce l oo ke d u p, t he re w as n ot hi ng w ha te ve r t o b e s ee n o n t he t wi g, a nd , a s

s he w as g et ti ng q ui te chi ll y w it h s it ti ng s ti ll s o l on g, s he g ot u p and w al ked o n.

She ve ry s oon c am e t o a n op en f ie ld wi th a wo od on t he ot he r s ide o f i t: i t l ook ed muc h d ar ke r t ha n t he

l as t w oo d, a nd A li ce f el t a l it tl e t im id a bo ut g oi ng i nt o i t. H ow ev er , o n s ec on d t ho ug ht s, s he m ad e u p h er

mi nd t o go on: “ for I c er ta inl y won’ t go ba ck,” she t hought t o her se lf, a nd thi s wa s t he onl y wa y t o t he

Eighth Square.

“Th is m us t b e t he w oo d, ” s he s ai d t ho ug ht fu ll y t o h er self , “wh er e t hi ng s h av e n o n am es , I w on der w hat’ ll

become of my name when I go in? I shouldn’t like to lose it at all -- because they’d have to give me

a no th er , a nd i t w ou ld b e a lm os t c er ta in t o b e a n ug ly o ne . B ut t he n t he f un w ou ld b e, t ry in g t o f in d t he

c re at ur e t ha t h ad g ot m y o ld n am e!

T ha t’ s j us t l ik e t he a dv er ti se me nt s, y ou k no w, w he n p eo pl e l os e d og s - -” an sw er s t o t he n am e o f

“Dash ”: h ad o n a b rass col lar’ - - j us t f an cy cal li ng every th in g y ou m et “Al ice, ’ t il l o ne o f t hem ans wered!O nl y t he y w oul dn ’t a ns we r a t a ll , i f t he y w er e w is e. ” S he w as r am bl ing o n i n t hi s w ay w he n s he r ea ch ed

t he w oo d: i t l oo ke d v er y c oo l a nd s ha dy .

“ We ll , a t a ny r at e i t’ s a g re at c om for t, ” s he s ai d a s s he s te pp ed u nd er t he t re es , “ af te r be in g s o ho t, t o

ge t i nt o t he - - i nt o t he – i nt o w ha t? ” s he we nt o n, r at he r s ur pr is ed a t not be ing a bl e t o t hi nk o f t he w or d.

“ I me an t o ge t und er t he - - und er t he – un de r t hi s, you kn ow! ” pu tt ing he r ha nd on t he t runk of t he t re e.

“ Wha t d oe s i t c al l i ts el f? I do b el ie ve i t’ s got no na me - - w hy, t o be s ur e i t ha sn’ t! ”

S he s to od s il en t f or a m in ut e, t hi nk in g: t hen s he s ud denl y b eg an again . “Th en i t r eall y h as h ap pened, aft er

a ll ! A nd no w, w ho a m I ? I w il l r em em be r, i f I c an ! I ’m d et er mi ne d t o d o i t! ” B ut b ei ng d et er mi ne d d idn ’t

h el p h er m uc h, a nd a ll s he c ou ld s ay , a ft er a g re at d ea l o f p uz zl in g, w as , “ L, I k no w i t be gi ns w it h L !”

J us t t he n a F aw n c am e w and er in g b y: i t l oo ke d a t A li ce w it h i ts l ar ge e ye s, b ut d id n’ t s ee m a t a ll



f ri gh te ne d. “ He re t he n! H er e t he n! ” A li ce s ai d, a s s he h el d o ut h er h an d a nd t ri ed t o s tr ok e i t: b ut i t o nl y

s ta rt ed b ac k a l it tl e, a nd t he n s to od l oo ki ng a t h er a ga in .

“ Wha t do you c al l y our se lf ?” t he Fa wn s ai d a t l as t. Suc h a s of t s we et v oi ce i t ha d!

“I w is h I k new! ” t ho ug ht p oo r A li ce. S he ans wered, r at her s ad ly ; N ot hi ng , j us t n ow .”

A li ce t ho ug ht , b ut n ot hi ng cam e o f i t. “Pl ease, w ou ld y ou t el l m e w hat y ou cal l y ou rs el f?” s he s ai d

timidly. “I think that might help a little.”

“I’ ll t el l y ou , i f y ou ’l l com e a l it tl e f ur th er o n, ” t he F aw n s ai d “I can ’t r em em ber h er e. ”

A li ce w it h h er a rm s c la spe d l ov in gl y r oun d t he s of t n ec k o f t he F aw n, t il l t he y c am e ou t i nt o a not he r

o pe n f ie ld , a nd h er e t he F aw n g av e a s ud de n b ou nd i nt o t he a ir , a nd s ho ok i ts el f f re e f ro m A li ce ’s a rm s.

“ An d, d ea r m e, y ou’ re a hu ma n c hi ld !” A s ud de n l oo k o f a la rm c am e i nt o i ts b ea ut if ul b ro wn e ye s a nd i n

a no th er m om en t i t h ad d ar te d a wa y a t f ul l s pe ed .

A li ce s to od l oo ki ng aft er i t, alm os t r eady t o cry w it h v ex at io n at h av in g l os t h er d ear l it tl e f el lo w- tr av el ler

s o s ud de nl y- “ Ho we ve r, I k no w m y n am e n ow ,” s he s ai d: “ th at ’s s om e c om fo rt . A li ce -- Al ic e- - I w on ’t

f or ge t i t a ga in . A nd n ow , w hi ch o f t he se f in ge r- po st s o ug ht I t o f ol lo w, I w on de r? ”

I t w as n ot a d if fi cu lt q ue st io n t o a ns we r, a s t he re w as o nl y o ne r oa d, a nd t he f in ge r- po st s b ot h p oi nt ed

alo ng i t. “I’ ll s et tl e i t, ” A li ce s ai d t o h er self , “wh en t he r oad d iv id es and t hey p oi nt d if ferent w ay s.

B ut t hi s di d n ot s ee m l ike ly t o ha ppe n. She we nt on a nd on , a l ong w ay, bu t w he re ve r t he r oa d di vi de d

t he re w er e s ur e t o b e t wo f in ge r- po st s p oi nt in g t he s am e w ay , o ne m ar ke d “ TO T WE ED LE DU M’ S

H OU SE ,’ a nd t he o th er “ TO T HE H OU SE O F T WE ED LE DE E. ’

“ I d o b el ie ve ,” s ai d A li ce a t l as t, “ th at t he y l iv e i n t he s am e h ou se ! I w on de r I n ev er t ho ug ht o f t ha t

before -- but I can’t stay there long. I’ll just call and say “How d’ye do?’ and ask them the way out of



t he w oo d. I f I c ou ld onl y ge t t o t he E igh th s qu ar e be for e i t ge ts d ar k! ” S o s he w and er ed o n, t al ki ng t o

h er se lf a s s he w en t, t il l, o n t ur ni ng a s ha rp c or ne r, s he c am e u po n t wo f at l it tl e m en , s o s ud de nl y t ha t s he

cou ld n ot h el p s tart in g b ack, b ut i n ano th er m om en t s he r ecov er ed h er self , f eeli ng s ur e t hat t hey m us t b e.

T wee dledum a nd Twee dlede eT HE Y w er e s ta nd in g u nd er a t re e e ac h w it h a n a rm r ou nd t he o th er ’s n ec k, a nd A li ce k ne w w hi ch w as

w hi ch i n a m om en t, b ec au se o ne o f t he m h ad “ DU M’ e mb ro id er ed o n h is c ol la r, a nd t he o th er D EE .’ “ I

s up po se t he y’ ve e ac h g ot “ TW EE DL E’ r ou nd a t t he b ac k o f t he c ol la r, ” s he s ai d t o h er se lf .

T he y s tood s o s ti ll t ha t s he q ui te f or got t he y w er e a li ve , a nd s he w as j us t l ooki ng r ound t o s ee i f t he

w or d “ TW EE DL E’ w as w ri tt en a t t he b ac k o f e ac h c ol la r, w he n s he w as s ta rt le d b y a v oi ce c om in g

f ro m t he o ne m ar ke d “ DU M. ’

“ If y ou t hi nk w e’ re w ax -w or ks ,” h e s ai d, “ yo u o ug ht t o p ay , y ou k no w. W ax -w or ks w er en ’t m ad e t o

be looked at for nothing. No how!”

“Co nt rari wi se” add ed t he o ne m ar ked ‘ DE E’ , “if y ou t hi nk w e’ re ali ve, y ou o ug ht t o s peak .”

“ I’ m s ur e I ’m v er y s or ry ,” w as a ll A li ce c ou ld s ay ; f or t he w or ds o f t he o ld s ong k ep t r in gi ng t hr ou gh h er

h ea d l ik e t he t ic ki ng o f a c lo ck , a nd s he c ou ld h ar dl y he lp s ay in g t he m o ut l ou d: - -

“ T we e dl e du m a n d T w ee d le d ee



Agreed to have a battle;

F or T w ee d le d um s a id T we e dl e de e

H ad s po il ed h is n ic e n ew r at tl e.

Just then flew down a monstrous crow,

A s b la ck a s a t ar -b ar re l;

W hi ch f ri gh te ne d b ot h t he h er oe s s o,

T he y q ui te f or go t t he ir q ua rr e l. ”

“I k no w w hat y ou ’r e t hi nk in g abo ut ,” s ai d T weed ledu m : “bu t i t i sn ’t s o, n o h ow .”

“ Co nt ra ri wi se ,” c ont in ue d T we ed le de e, “ if i t w as s o, i t m ig ht b e; a nd i f i t w er e s o, i t w ou ld b e: b ut a s i t

isn’t, it ain’t. ‘That’s logic.”

“ I w as t hi nk in g, ” A li ce s ai d ve ry p ol it el y, “ wh ic h i s t he b es t w ay o ut o f t hi s w ood : i t’ s g et ti ng s o d ar k.

W ou ld y ou t el l m e, p le as e ? ”

B ut t he f at l it tl e m en o nl y l ook ed a t e ac h o th er a nd g ri nn ed .

T hey l oo ked s o exact ly l ik e a cou pl e o f g reat s ch oo lb oy s, t hat A li ce cou ld n’ t h el p p oi nt in g h er f in ger at

Tweedledum, and saying, “First Boy!”

“No h ow !” T weed ledu m cri ed o ut b ri sk ly , and i ns tant ly s hu t h is m ou th u p again w it h a s nap.

“Next B oy !” s ai d A li ce, p as si ng o n t o T weed ledee, t ho ug h s he f el t q ui te cer tain h e w ou ld o nl y s ho ut o ut

“Co nt rari wi se!” and s o h e d id .

“You’ve begun wrong!” cried Tweedledum.

“ The f ir st t hi ng i n a vi si t i s t o s ay, “ How d’ ye do? ’ a nd s ha ke ha nds !” And he re t he t wo br ot he rs ga ve

e ac h ot he r a hug , a nd t he n t he y he ld ou t t he t wo h and s t ha t w er e f re e, t o s ha ke ha nds wi th he r.

A li ce d id n ot l ik e s haki ng h an ds w it h eit her o f t hem f ir st , f or f ear o f h ur ti ng t he o th er o ne’s f eeli ng s; s o,

a s t he be st wa y out of t he di ff icu lt y, s he t ook hol d of bot h ha nds a t onc e: t he ne xt mom ent t he y we re

d an ci ng r ou nd i n a r in g. T hi s s eemed q ui te n at ur al ( sh e r em em bered aft er ward s) , and s he w as n ot even

s ur pr is ed t o h ea r m us ic p la yi ng : i t s ee me d t o c om e f ro m t he t re e u nde r w hi ch t he y w er e d an ci ng , a nd i t

wa s d one ( as w el l a s s he c oul d ma ke i t out ) by t he b ra nc he s r ubb ing on e a cr os s t he o the r, l ike f idd le s

and fiddlesticks.

“Bu t i t cer tain ly w as f un ny ” ( Al ice s ai d aft er ward s, w hen s he w as t el li ng h er s is ter t he h is to ry o f all t hi s)

“ to f in d m ys el f s ing ing “ He re w e g o r ou nd t he m ul be rr y b us h. ’ I do n’ t k no w w he n I b eg an i t, b ut

s ome how I f el t a s i f I ’d b ee n s ingi ng i t a l on g, l ong t ime !”



The o the r t wo da nc er s we re f at , a nd v er y s oon ou t of br ea th. “ Fo ur t im es r ound i s e nou gh f or one

d an ce,” T weed ledu m p an ted o ut , and t hey l ef t o ff d an ci ng as s ud denl y as t hey h ad b eg un : t he m us ic

s to pp ed a t t he s am e m om en t.

T he y t he n l et go of Al ic e’ s ha nd s, a nd s tood l ooki ng a t he r f or a mi nu te : t he re wa s a r at he r a wkw ar d

pause, as Alice didn’t know how to begin a conversation with people she had just been dancing with. “Itw oul d ne ve r do t o s ay “ How d ’ye d o? ’n ow ,” s he s ai d t o he rs el f: “ we s ee m t o ha ve got be yo nd t ha t,

somehow!”

“ I ho pe you’ re no t m uc h t ir ed? ” s he s ai d a t l as t.

“No h ow . A nd t hank y ou v er y m uch f or ask in g, ” s ai d T weed ledu m.

“So m uch o bl ig ed !” add ed T weed ledee. “Yo u l ik e p oetr y?”

“Ye-es, p rett y w el l - -s om e p oetr y, ” A li ce s ai d d ou bt fu ll y. “Wo ul d y ou t el l m e w hi ch r oad l eads o ut o f t he w oo d?”

“Wh at s hall I r ep eat t o h er ?” s ai d T weed ledee l oo ki ng r ou nd at T weed ledu m w it h g reat s ol em n eyes,

and not noticing Alice’s question.

“‘The Walrus and the Carpenter’is the longest,” Tweedledum replied, giving his brother an affectionate

hug. Tweedledee began instantly:

“Th e s un w as s hi ni ng -- - “

H er e A li ce v en tu re d t o i nt er ru pt . “ If i t’ s v er y l on g, ” s he s ai d, a s p ol it el y a s s he c ou ld , “ wo ul d yo u t el l m ef ir st w hi ch r oa d - - - ”

Tweedledee smiled gently, and began again:

“Th e s un wa s s hi ni ng on t he s ea ,

S hi ni ng w it h a ll h is m ig ht :

He did his very best to make

T h e b i l l o w s s m o o t h a n d b r i g h t - -

An d t hi s w as o dd , be ca us e i t wa s

The middle of the night.

T he m oo n w as s hi ni ng s ul k il y,



B ec au se s he t ho ug ht t he s un

Ha d g ot no b us in es s t o b e t he re

After the day was done --

‘ It ’s v er y r ude of hi m,’ s he s ai d,

“ To c om e an d s poi l t he f un !’

The sea was wet as wet could be,

T he s ands we re dr y a s dr y.

Y ou c ou ld n ot s ee a c lo ud , b ec au se

No cloud was in the sky:

N o b ir ds w er e f ly in g o ve rh ea d - -

The re we re n o bi rd s t o f ly .

T he W al ru s a nd t he C ar pe nt er

W er e w al ki ng c lo se a t h an d;

They wept like anything to see

S uc h q ua nt it i es o f s an d:



‘ If t hi s w er e o nl y c le ar ed a wa y, ’

T he y s ai d, ‘ it w ou ld b e g ra nd !’

‘If seven maids with seven mops

Swept it for half a year.

D o y ou s up pos e, ’ t he W al ru s s ai d,

‘ Th at t he y c ou ld g et i t c le ar ?’

‘ I d ou bt i t, ’ s ai d t he C ar pe nt er ,

And shed a bitter tear.

‘ O O ys te rs , c om e a nd w al k w it h u s. !’

T he W al ru s d id b es ee ch .

‘A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,

A lo ng t he b ri ny b ea ch :

We cannot do with more than four,

To give a hand to each.’



T he e ld es t O ys te r l oo ke d a t h im ,

But ne ver a wor d he said:

T he e ld es t O ys te r w in ke d h is , e ye ,

And shook his heavy head --

Me ani ng t o s ay h e d id n ot c hoo se

To leave the oyster-bed.

B ut f ou r y ou ng O ys te rs h ur ri ed u p,

All eager for the treat:

T he i r c oa ts w er e b ru sh ed , t he ir f ac es w as he d,

T he ir s hoe s we re c le an and ne at --

And this was odd, because, you know,

They hadn’t any feet.

Four other Oysters followed them,

And yet another four;

And thick and fast they came at last,

An d m or e, a nd m or e, an d m or e - -

All hopping through the frothy waves,

A nd s cr am bl in g t o t he s ho re .

T he W al ru s a nd t he C ar pe nt er

Walke d on a mile or so,

And then they rested on a rock

A nd a ll t he l it tl e O ys te rs s to od

And waited in a row.



“ Th e t im e h as c om e, ’ t he W al ru s s ai d,

“To talk of many things:

Of s hoe s - - and shi ps - - and se al ing- wax - -

O f c ab bage s - - and k ings - -

And why the sea is boiling hot --

And whether pigs have wings.’

‘ Bu t w ai t a b it ,’ t he O ys te rs c ri ed ,

‘ Be fo re w e ha ve o ur c hat ;

For some of us are out of breath,

And all of us are fat!’

“ No h ur ry !’ s ai d t he C ar pe nt er .

They thanked him much for that.

‘ A l oaf o f br ead, ’ t he W al rus s ai d,

‘ Is w ha t w e c hi ef ly n ee d:

P ep pe r a nd v in eg ar b es id es

A re v er y goo d i nde ed - -

N ow i f y ou ’r e r ea dy , O ys te rs d ea r,

We c an be gi n t o f ee d. ’

‘ Bu t n ot o n u s. !’ t he O ys te rs c ri ed ,

T ur ni ng a l it tl e b lu e.

‘After such kindness, that would be



A di sma l t hi ng t o do. !’

‘ Th e n ig ht i s f in e, ’ t he W al ru s s ai d.

‘ Do y ou adm ir e t he v ie w?

‘It was so kind of you to come.!

A nd y ou a re v er y n ic e. !’

The Carpenter said nothing but

‘ Cu t u s a no th er s li ce :

I wish you were not quit e s o deaf - -

I ’v e had t o as k y ou t wi ce .! ’

‘ It s ee ms a s ha me ,’ t he W al ru s s ai d,

‘To play them such a trick,

A f t er w e’ ve b r o u g h t t h em o u t s o f a r ,

And made them trot so quick!’

The Carpenter said nothing but

‘ Th e b ut te r ’s s pr e ad t oo t hi ck ! ’



‘ I w ee p f or y ou,’ t he Wal rus s ai d:

‘ I d e ep l y s y mp at h iz e .’

Wi th s obs a nd t ear s he s or te d o ut

T ho se o f t he l ar ge st s iz e,

H o l di n g h i s p o cket - h a nd ker chi ef

B ef or e h is s tr ea mi ng e ye s.

‘ O O ys te rs ,’ s ai d t he C ar pe nt er ,

‘ Yo u’ ve h ad a p le as an t r un .!

S ha ll w e b e t ro tt in g h om e a ga in ?’

But an swe r c ame t he re non e - -

A nd t hi s w as s ca rc el y o dd , b ec au se

They’d eaten every one.”

“ I l ik e t he W al ru s b es t, ” s ai d A li ce : “ be ca us e y ou s ee h e w as a l it tl e s or ry f or t he p oo r o ys te rs .”

“ He a te m or e t ha n t he C ar pe nt er , t ho ug h” s ai d T we ed le de e. “ Yo u s ee h e h el d h is h an dk er ch ie f i n f ro nt ,

s o t hat t he C ar pent er cou ld n’ t cou nt h ow m an y h e t oo k: con tr ar iw is e. ”

“ Th at w as m ea n! ” A li ce s ai d i nd ig na nt ly . “ Th en I l ik e t he C ar pe nt er b es t - - i f h e d id n’ t e at s o m an y a s

the Walrus.”

“ Bu t h e a te a s m an y a s h e c ou ld g et ,” s ai d T we ed le du m.

T hi s w as a p uz zl er . A ft er a p au se , A li ce b eg an , “ We ll ! T he y w er e b ot h v er y u np le as an t c ha ra ct er s - - - ”

H er e s he c he ck ed h er se lf i n s om e a la rm , a t h ea ri ng s om et hi ng t ha t s ou nd ed t o h er l ik e t he p uf fn g o f a

l ar ge s te am -e ng in e i n t he w oo d n ea r t he m, t ho ug h s he f ea re d i t w as m or e l ik el y t o b e a w il d b ea st .

“ Ar e t he re a ny l io ns o r t ig er s a bo ut h er e? ” s he a sk ed t im id ly .

“lt ’s o nl y t he R ed K in g s no ri ng ,” s ai d T weed ledee.

“ Com e a nd l ook a t hi m! ” t he b ro the rs c ri ed , a nd t he y e ac h t oo k o ne o f Al ic e’ s ha nd s, a nd l ed h er up t o

w here t he K in g w as s leep in g.



“ Is n’ t h e a l ove ly s ig ht ?” s ai d T we ed le du m. A li ce c ou ld n’ t s ay h on es tl y t ha t h e w as . H e h ad a t al l r ed

n ig ht -c ap o n, w it h a t as se l, a nd h e w as l yi ng c ru mp le d u p i nt o a s or t o f u nt id y h ea p, a nd s no ri ng l ou d - -

“fi t t o s no re h is h ead o ff !” as T weed ledu m r em ar ked.

“I’ m afr ai d h e’ ll cat ch col d w it h l yi ng o n t he d am p g rass ,” s ai d A li ce, w ho w as a v er y t ho ug ht fu l l it tl e g ir l.

“He’s d ream in g n ow ,” s ai d T weed ledee: “an d w hat d o y ou t hi nk h e’ s d ream in g abo ut ?”

A li ce s aid , “No bo dy can g uess t hat .”

“Why, about you !” Tweedledee exclaimed, clapping his hands triumphantly. “And if he left off dreaming

a bo ut y ou , w he re d o y ou s up po se y ou ’d b e? ”

“ Wh er e I a m n ow , o f c ou rs e, ” s ai d A li ce .

“No t y ou !” T weed ledee r et or ted con temp tu ou sl y. “Yo u’ d b e n ow here. W hy , y ou ’r e o nl y a s or t o f t hi ng

in his dream!”

“ If t ha t t he re K in g w as t o w ak e, ” a dd ed Tw ee dl ed um , “ you ’d go ou t - - b an g! - - j us t l lk e a c an dl e! ”

“I s ho ul dn ’t !” A li ce exclaim ed i nd ig nant ly . “Besi des, i f I ’m o nl y a s or t o f t hi ng i n h is d ream , w hat areyo u,

I s ho ul d l ik e t o k no w? ”

“Ditto,” said Tweedledum.

“Ditto, ditto!” cried Tweedledee.

H e s ho ut ed t hi s s o l ou d t hat A li ce cou ld n’ t h el p s ay in g, “Hu sh ! Y ou ’l l b e w ak in g h im , I ’m afr ai d, i f y oum ak e s o m uch n oi se.”

“Well , i t’ s n o u se y ou r t al ki ng abo ut w ak in g h im ,” s ai d T weed ledu m, “wh en y ou ’r e o nl y o ne o f t he t hi ng s

i n h is dr ea m. Y ou k no w v er y w el l y ou ’r e n ot r ea l. ”

“ I a m r ea l! ” s ai d A li ce , a nd b eg an t o c ry . “ Yo u w on ’t m ak e y ou rs el f a b it r ea le r b y c ry in g, ” T we ed le de e

remarked: “there’s nothing to cry about.”



“If I w as n’ t r eal, ” A li ce s ai d - - h al f- laug hi ng t hr ou gh h er t ears , i t all s eemed s o r id icul ou s - - “I s ho ul dn ’t

be able to cry.”

“ I h op e y ou d on ’t s up po se t ho se a re r ea l t ea rs ?” T we ed le du m i nt er ru pt ed i n a t on e o f g re at c on te mp t.

“I k no w t hey’ re t al ki ng n on sens e, ” A li ce t ho ug ht t o h er self : “an d i t’ s f oo li sh t o cry abo ut i t. ” S o s he

brushed away her tears, and went on as cheerfully as she could, “At any rate I’d better be getting out of

t he w oo d, f or r ea ll y i t’ s c om in g o n v er y d ar k. D o y ou t hi nk i t’ s g oi ng t o r ai n? ”

T we ed le du m s pr ea d a l ar ge u mb re ll a o ve r h im se lf a nd h is b ro th er , a nd l oo ke d u p i nt o i t. “ No , I d on ’t

t hi nk i t i s,” he s ai d: “ at l ea st - - n ot unde r h er e. N o h ow .”

“Bu t i t m ay r ai n o ut si de?”

“I t m ay - - i f i t cho os es, ” s ai d T weed ledee: “we’v e n o o bj ecti on . C on tr ar iw is e.”

“Self is h t hi ng s! ” t ho ug ht A li ce, and s he w as j us t g oi ng t o s ay “Go od -n ig ht ” and l eave t hem, w hen

T weed ledu m s pr an g o ut f ro m u nd er t he u mb rell a, and s ei zed h er b y t he w ri st .

“ Do you se e t hat ?” he sa id in a voi ce c hoki ng wi th pas si on, and hi s e ye s gr ew la rge a nd ye ll ow a ll i n am om en t, as h e p oi nt ed w it h a t remb li ng f in ger at a s mall w hi te t hi ng l yi ng u nd er t he t ree.

“It ’s o nl y a r at tl e, ” A li ce s ai d, aft er a car ef ul exami nati on o f t he l it tl e w hi te t hi ng . “No t a r at tl e- sn ak e, y ou

k no w, ” s he add ed h as ti ly , t hi nk in g t hat h e w as f ri gh tened: “on ly an o ld r at tl e - - q ui te o ld and b ro ken. ”

“I k new i t w as !” cri ed T weed ledu m, b eg in ni ng t o s tamp abo ut w il dl y and t ear h is h ai r. “It ’s s po il t, o f

c ou rs e! ” H er e h e l oo ke d a t T we ed le de e, w ho i mm ed ia te ly s at d ow n o n t he g ro un d, a nd t ri ed t o h id e

himself under the umbrella.

A lic e l ai d he r h and upon hi s a rm, a nd s ai d i n a s oot hi ng t on e, “ You ne edn’ t be s o a ngr y a bout a n ol drattle.”



“ Bu t i t i sn ’t o ld !” T we ed le du m c ri ed , i n a g re at er f ur y t ha n e ve r. “ It ’s n ew , I t el l y ou - - I b ou gh t i t

ye st er da y - - my ni ce N EW R AT TL E! ” a nd h is v oi ce r os e t o a pe rf ec t s cr ea m.

A ll t hi s t im e T weed ledee w as t ry in g h is b es t t o f ol d u p t he u mb rell a, w it h h im self i n i t: w hi ch w as s uch an

ext raor di nary t hi ng t o d o, t hat i t q ui te t oo k o ff A li ce’s att en ti on f ro m t he ang ry b ro th er . B ut h e cou ld n’ t

q ui te s uc ce ed , a nd i t e nd ed i n h is r ol li ng ov er , b un dl ed u p i n t he u mb re ll a, w it h on ly h is he ad o ut : a nd

t here h e l ay , o peni ng and s hu tt in g h is m ou th and h is l ar ge eyes - - “lo ok in g m or e l ik e a f is h t han any th in gelse,” Alice thought.

“ Of c ou rs e y ou a gr ee t o h av e a b at tl e? ” T we ed le du m s ai d i n a c al me r t on e.

“ I s up pos e s o, ” t he o the r s ul ki ly r ep li ed , a s h e c ra wl ed o ut o f t he u mb re ll a: “ on ly s he m us t h el p u s t o

d re ss u p, y ou k no w. ”

S o t he t wo b ro th er s w en t o ff h and -i n- ha nd i nt o t he w oo d, a nd r et ur ne d i n a m in ut e w it h t he ir a rm s f ul l o f

t hi ng s - - s uch as b ol s ters , b lank et s , h ear th ru gs , t ab le- cl ot hs , d is h- cov er s , and coal -s cut tl es,

“I h op e y ou ’r e a g oo d h an d at p in ni ng and t yi ng s tr in gs ?” T weed ledu m r em ar ked. “Ev er y o ne o f t hese

t hi ng s h as g ot t o g o o n, s om eh ow o r o th er .”

A li ce s ai d a ft er wa rd s s he h ad n ev er s ee n s uc h a f us s m ad e a bo ut a ny th in g i n a ll h er l if e - - t he w ay t ho se

t wo b us tl ed a bo ut - - a nd t he q ua nt it y o f t hi ng s t he y p ut o n - - a nd t he t ro ub le t he y g av e h er i n t yi ng s tr in gs

and f as teni ng b ut to ns - - “Real ly t hey’ ll b e m or e l ik e b un dl es o f o ld clo th es t han any th in g els e, b y t he t im e

t he y’ re r ea dy !” s he s ai d t o h er se lf , a s s he a rr an ge d a b ol st er r ou nd t he n ec k o f T we ed le de e, “ to k ee p h is

h ea d f ro m b ei ng c ut o ff ,” a s h e s ai d.

“ Yo u k no w, ” h e a dd ed v er y g ra ve ly , “ it ’s o ne o f t he m os t s er io us t hi ng s t ha t c an p os si bl y h ap pe n t o o ne

in a bat tle -- to get one’ s hea d c ut of f.”

A li ce l au gh ed l ou d, b ut m an ag ed t o t ur n i t i nt o a cou gh , f or f ear o f h ur ti ng h is f eeli ng s.

“ Do I l oo k v er y pa le ?” s ai d T we ed le du m, c om in g u p t o h av e hi s h el me t t ie d o n. ( He c al le d i t a h el me t,



t ho ug h i t cer tain ly l oo ked m uch m or e l ik e a s au cepan. )

“ We ll - - y es – a l it tl e, ” A li ce r ep li ed g en tl y.

“ I’ m v er y b ra ve g en er al ly ,” h e w en t o n i n a l ow v oi ce : “ on ly t o- da y I h ap pe n t o h av e a h ea da ch e. ”

“ An d I ’v e g ot a t oo th ac he !” s ai d T we ed le de e, w ho h ad o ve rh ea rd t he r em ar k. “ I’ m f ar w or se t ha nyou!”

“Th en y ou ’d b et ter n ot f ig ht t o- day, ” s ai d A li ce, t hi nk in g i t a g oo d o pp or tu ni ty t o m ak e p eace.

“ We m us t h av e a b it o f a f ig ht , b ut I d on ’t c ar e a bo ut g oi ng o n l on g, ” s ai d T we ed le du m. “ Wh at ’s t he

time now?”

T weed ledee l oo ked at h is w at ch, and s ai d, “Hal f- past f ou r. ”

“Let’s fight till six, and then have dinner,” said Tweedledum.

“ Ve ry w el l, ” t he o th er s ai d, r at he r s ad ly : “ an d s he c an w at ch u s - - o nl y y ou ’d b et te r n ot c om e v er y

c lo se ,” h e a dd ed : “ I g en er al ly h it e ve ry th in g I c an s ee - - w he n I g et r ea ll y e xc it ed .”

“An d I h it every th in g w it hi n r each ,” cri ed T weed ledu m, “wh et her I can s ee i t o r n ot !”

A li ce l au gh ed . “Yo u m us t h it t he t rees p rett y o ft en , I s ho ul d t hi nk ,” s he s ai d.

T we ed le du m l oo ke d r ou nd h im w it h a s at is fi ed s mi le . “ I d on ’t s up po se ,” h e s ai d, “ th er e’ ll b e a t re e l ef t

s tand in g, f or ever s o f ar r ou nd , b y t he t im e w e’ ve f in is hed! ”

“An d all abo ut a r at tl e! ” s ai d A li ce, s ti ll h op in g t o m ak e t hem a l it tl e ash am ed o f f ig ht in g f or s uch a t ri fl e.

“ I s hou ld n’ t ha ve m in de d i t s o m uc h, ” s ai d T we edl edu m, “ if i t h ad n’ t be en a n ew on e. ”

“I w is h t he m on st ro us cro w w ou ld com e! ” t ho ug ht A li ce.

“Th er e’ s o nl y o ne s wo rd , y ou k no w, ” T weed ledu m s ai d t o h is b ro th er : “bu t y ou can h av e t he u mb rell a

- - i t’ s qu it e a s s ha rp. O nl y w e m us t b egi n q ui ck . I t’ s ge tt ing a s da rk a s i t c an. ”

“An d d ar ker ,” s aid T weedl edee.

I t w as g et ti ng d ar k s o s ud de nl y t ha t A li ce t ho ug ht t he re m us t b e a t hu nd er st or m c om in g o n. “ Wh at a

t hi ck b la ck c lo ud t ha t i s! ” s he s ai d. “ An d h ow f as t i t c om es ! W hy , I d o b el ie ve i t’ s g ot w in gs !”

“ It ’s t he c ro w! ” T we ed le du m c ri ed o ut i n a s hr il l v oi ce o f a la rm : a nd t he t wo b ro th er s t oo k t o t he ir h ee ls

a nd we re out of s ight i n a mom ent .

Al ic e r an a l it tl e w ay i nt o t he w ood , a nd s to ppe d und er a l ar ge t re e. “ It c an ne ve r ge t a t me h er e, ” s he

t ho ug ht : “ it ’s f ar t oo l ar ge t o s qu ee ze i ts el f i n a mo ng t he t re es . B ut I w is h i t w ou ld n’ t f la p i ts w in gs s o - - i t

m ak es q ui te a h ur ri ca ne i n t he w oo d - - h er e’ s s om eb od y’ s s ha wl b ei ng b lo wn a wa y! ”



Wool and WaterS HE c au gh t t he s ha wl a s s he s po ke , a nd l oo ke d a bo ut f or t he o wn er : i n a no th er m om en t t he W hi te

Q ueen cam e r un ni ng w il dl y t hr ou gh t he w oo d, w it h b ot h arm s s tr et ch ed o ut w id e, as i f s he w er e f ly in g,

and A li ce v er y civ il ly w en t t o m eet h er w it h t he s hawl .

“ I’ m ve ry gl ad I ha ppe ne d t o be i n t he w ay,” Al ic e s ai d, a s s he he lpe d he r t o pu t on he r s ha wl a ga in.

T he W hi te Q ue en o nl y l oo ke d a t h er i n a h el pl es s f ri gh te ne d s or t o f w ay , a nd k ep t r ep ea ti ng s om et hi ng

i n a w hi s per t o h er s el f t hat s ou nd ed l i ke “Br ead -and -b ut ter, b read -and -b ut ter ,” and A li ce f el t t hat i f t her e

w as t o b e a ny c on ve rs at io n a t a ll , s he m us t m an ag e i t h er se lf . S o s he b eg an r at he r t im id ly : “ Am I

addressing the White Queen?”

“ We ll , ye s, i f y ou c al l t ha t a dd re ss in g, ” t he Q ue en s ai d. “ It i sn ’t m y n ot ion of t he t hi ng, a t a ll . A li ce

t ho ug ht i t w ou ld n ev er d o t o h av e an arg um en t at t he v er y b eg in ni ng o f t heir con vers at io n, s o s he s mi led

a nd s ai d, “ If your Maj est y wi ll onl y t ell me t he r ight wa y t o be gi n, I’ ll do i t a s we ll a s I ca n.”

“ Bu t I d on ’t w an t i t d on e a t a ll !” g ro an ed t he p oo r Q ue en . “ I’ ve b ee n a -d re ss in g m ys el f f or t he l as t t wo

hours.”

I t wo ul d h ave be en a ll t he be tt er , a s i t s ee me d t o Al ic e, i f onl y s he h ad go t s om e one e ls e t o d re ss h er ,

s he w as s o d read fu ll y u nt id y. “Ev er y s in gl e t hi ng ’s cro ok ed ,” A li ce t ho ug ht t o h er self , “an d s he’s all o ver

pins! -- May I put your shawl a little more straight for you?” she added aloud.

“ I d on ’t k no w w ha t’ s t he m at te r w it h i t! ” t he Q ue en s ai d, i n a m el an ch ol y v oi ce . “ It ’s o ut o f t em pe r, I

t hi nk , I ’v e p in ne d i t h er e, a nd I ’v e p in ne d i t t he re , b ut t he re ’s n o p le as in g i t! ”

“ It c an’ t go s tr ai ght, you know, i f you pi n it a ll on one si de,” Al ic e sa id, as s he ge nt ly put i t ri ght f or he r;

“ and, de ar me , wha t a s ta te your ha ir i s i n! ”

“ Th e b ru sh h as g ot e nt an gl ed i n i t! ” t he Q ue en s ai d w it h a d ee p s ig h. “ An d I l os t t he c om b y es te rd ay .”

A li ce c ar ef ul ly r el ea se d t he b ru sh , a nd d id h er b es t t o g et t he h ai r i nt o o rd er . “ Co me , y ou l oo k r at he r

better now!” she said, after altering most of the pins. “But really you should have a lady’s maid!”

“ I’ m s ur e I ’l l t ak e y ou w it h p le as ur e! ” t he Q ue en s ai d. “ Tw op en ce a w ee k, a nd j am e ve ry o th er d ay .”

A li ce c oul dn’ t h el p l aug hi ng, a s s he s ai d, “ I don’ t wa nt you t o hi re me - - a nd I don’ t c ar e f or j am. ”



“ It ’s v er y g oo d j am ,” s ai d t he Q ue en .

“ We ll , I don ’t w an t a ny t o- da y, a t a ny r at e. ”

“ Yo u c ou ld n’ t h av e i t i f y ou d id w an t i t, ” t he Q ue en s ai d. “ Th e r ul e i s, j am t o- mo rr ow a nd j am y es te rd ay- - b ut n ev er j am t o- da y. ”

“ It m us t c om e s om et im es t o ‘ ja m t o- da y, ’ “ A li ce o bj ec te d.

“ No , i t c an ’t ,” s ai d t he Q ue en . “ It ’s j am e ve ry o th er d ay : t o- da y i sn ’t a ny o th er d ay , y ou k no w. ”

“I don’t understand you,” said Alice, “It’s dreadfully confusing!”

“ The e ff ec t o f l iv in g b ac kw ar ds ,” t he Q ue en s ai d k in dl y: “ it a lw ay s m ake s o ne a l it tl e g id dy a t f ir st - - - ”

“Li vi ng b ackw ar ds !” A li ce r ep eated i n g reat ast on is hm en t. “I n ev er h eard o f s uch a t hi ng !”

“ - - b ut t he re ’s o ne g re at a dv an ta ge i n i t, t ha t o ne ’s m em or y w or ks b ot h w ay s. ”



“I’ m s ur e m in e o nl y w or ks o ne w ay ” A li ce r em ar ked. “I can ’t r em em ber t hi ng s b ef or e t hey h ap pen. ”

“ It ’s a p oo r s or t o f m em or y t ha t o nl y w or ks b ac kw ar ds ,” t he Q ue en r em ar ke d.

“ Wh at s or t o f t hi ng s d o y ou r em em be r b es t? ” A li ce v en tu re d t o a sk .

“ Oh , t hi ng s t ha t h ap pe ne d t he w ee k a ft er n ex t. ” t he Q ue en r ep li ed i n a c ar el es s t on e. “ Fo r i ns ta nc e,

n ow ,” s he w en t o n, s ti ck in g a l ar ge p ie ce o f p la st er o n h er f in ge r a s s he s po ke , “ th er e’ s t he K in g’ sM es seng er . H e’ s i n p ri so n n ow , b ei ng p un is hed: and t he t ri al d oesn ’t even b eg in t il l n ex t W ed nesd ay : and

o f c our se t he c ri me c om es l as t o f a ll .”

“Su pp os e h e n ev er com mi ts t he cri me?” s ai d A li ce.

“ Th at w ou ld b e a ll t he b et te r, w ou ld n’ t i t? ” t he Q ue en s ai d, a s s he b ou nd t he p la st er r ou nd h er f in ge r

w it h a b it o f r ib bo n.

A li ce f el t t he re w as n o d en yi ng t ha t. “ Of c ou rs e i t w ou ld b e a ll t he b et te r, ” s he s ai d: “ bu t i t w oul dn ’t b e

all the better his being punished.”

“ Yo u’ re w ro ng t he re , a t a ny r at e, ” s ai d t he Q ue en : “ we re y ou e ve r p un is he d? ”

“Only for faults,” said Alice.

“ An d y ou w er e a ll t he be tt er f or i t, I k no w! ” t he Q ue en s ai d t ri um ph an tl y.

“ Ye s, b ut t he n I h ad d on e t he t hi ng s I w as p un is he d f or ,” s ai d A li ce : “ th at m ak es a ll t he d if fe re nc e. ”

“ Bu t i f y ou h ad n’ t d on e t he m, ” t he Q ue en s ai d, “ th at w ou ld h av e b ee n b et te r s ti ll ; b et te r, a nd b et te r, a nd

better!” Her voice went higher with each “better,” till it got quite to a squeak at last.

A li ce w as j us t b eg in ni ng t o s ay , “ Th er e’ s a m is ta ke s om ew he re - - - ” w he n t he Q ue en b eg an s cr ea mi ng ,



s o l ou d t ha t s he h ad t o l ea ve t he s en te nc e u nf in is he d. “ Oh , o h, o h! ” s ho ut ed t he Q ue en , s ha ki ng h er h an d

a bo ut a s i f s he w an te d t o s ha ke i t o ff . “ My f in ge r’ s b le ed in g! O h, o h, o h, o h! ”

H er s cr ea ms w er e s o e xa ct ly l ik e t he w hi st le o f a s te am -e ng in e, t ha t A li ce h ad t o h ol d b ot h h er h an ds

o ve r h er e ar s.

“ Wh at i s t he m at te r? ” s he s ai d, a s s oo n a s t he re wa s a c ha nc e o f m aki ng he rs el f he ar d. “ Ha ve you pricked your finger?”

“ I h ave n’ t pr ic ke d i t y et “ t he Q ue en s ai d, “ bu t I s oon s ha ll - - - oh , o h, o h! ”

“ Wh en d o yo u e xp ec t t o do i t? ” A li ce a sk ed , f ee li ng v er y m uc h i nc li ne d t o l aug h.

“Wh en I f as ten m y s hawl again ,” t he p oo r Q ueen g ro an ed o ut : “th e b ro och w il l com e u nd on e d ir ectl y.

O h, o h! ” A s s he s ai d t he w or ds t he br ooc h f le w o pe n, a nd t he Q ue en c lut che d w il dl y a t i t, a nd t ri ed t o

clasp i t again .

“ Ta ke c ar e! ” c ri ed A li ce . “ Yo u’ re h ol di ng i t a ll c ro ok ed !” A nd s he c au gh t a t t he b ro oc h; b ut i t w as t oo

l at e: t he p in h ad s li pp ed , a nd t he Q ue en h ad p ri ck ed h er f in ge r.

“ Th at a cc ou nt s f or t he b le ed in g, y ou s ee ,” s he s ai d t o A li ce w it h a s mi le . “ No w y ou u nd er st an d t he w ay

things happen here.”

“ Bu t w hy d on ’t y ou s cr ea m n ow ?” A li ce a sk ed , h ol di ng h er h an ds r ea dy t o p ut o ve r h er e ar s a ga in .

“ Wh y, I ’v e d on e a ll t he s cr ea mi ng a lr ea dy ,” s ai d t he Q ue en . “ Wha t w ou ld b e t he g oo d o f h avi ng i t a ll

over again?”

By t hi s t ime i t w as g et ti ng l ig ht . “ The c ro w m us t h av e f low n a wa y, I t hi nk ,” s ai d A li ce : “ I’ m s o gl ad i t’ sg on e. I t ho ug ht i t w as t he n ig ht com in g o n. ”

“ I wi sh I c oul d m ana ge t o be gl ad! ” t he Que en s ai d. “ Onl y I ne ve r c an r eme mbe r t he r ul e. You mus t b e

v er y h ap py , l iv in g i n t hi s w oo d, and b ei ng g lad w henever y ou l ik e! ”

“ On ly i t i s s o v er y l on el y he re !” A li ce s ai d i n a m el an ch ol y v oi ce ; a nd a t t he t ho ug ht of h er l on el in es s t wo

l ar ge t ears cam e r ol li ng d ow n h er cheek s.

“ Oh , d on ’t g o o n l ik e t ha t! ” c ri ed t he p oo r Q ue en , w ri ng in g h er h an ds i n d es pa ir . “ Co ns id er w ha t a g re at

g ir l y ou a re . C on si de r w ha t a l on g w ay y ou ’v e c om e t o- da y. C on si de r w ha t o ’c lo ck i t i s. C on si de r anything, only don’t cry!”

A li ce c ou ld n ot h el p l au gh ing a t t hi s, e ve n i n t he m ids t of he r t ea rs . “ Ca n y ou k ee p f ro m c ry in g by

considering things?” she asked.

“ Th at ’s t he w ay i t’ s d on e, ” t he Q ue en s ai d w it h g re at d ec is io n: “ no bo dy c an d o t wo t hi ng s a t o nc e, y ou

kn ow . L et ’s c on si de r y our a ge t o be gi n w it h - - how ol d a re y ou? ”

“I’ m s ev en and a h al f exact ly .”

“Yo u n eedn ’t s ay ‘ ex actl y, ’” t he Q ueen r em ar ked: “I can b el ieve i t w it ho ut t hat. N ow I ’l l g iv e y ou

s om et hi ng t o b el ie ve . I ’m j us t o ne h un dr ed a nd on e, f iv e m on th s a nd a da y. ”



“ I c an ’t b el ie ve t ha t ! ” s ai d A li ce .

“ Ca n’ t y ou ?” t he Q ue en s ai d i n a p it yi ng t on e. “ Tr y a ga in : d ra w a l on g b re at h, a nd s hu t y our e ye s. ”

Alice laughed. “There’s no use trying,” she said: “one can’t believe impossible things.”

“ I da re sa y you ha ve n’ t ha d m uc h pr ac ti ce ,” s ai d t he Q ue en. “ Whe n I wa s yo ur a ge , I a lwa ys d id i t f or h al f- an -h ou r a d ay . W hy , s om et im es I ’v e b el ieved as m an y as s ix i mp os si bl e t hi ng s b ef or e b reak fast .

T here g oes t he s hawl again !”

Th e br ooc h ha d c ome u nd on e a s s he s pok e, a nd a s ud de n gu st o f w in d bl ew h er s ha wl a cr os s a l it tl e

brook. The Queen spread out her arms again, and went flying after it, and this time succeeded in catching

i t f or he rs el f. “ I’ ve go t i t! ” s he c ri ed i n a t ri um ph an t t on e. “ Now y ou s ha ll s ee m e p in i t o n a ga in , a ll b y

myself!”

“ Th en I h op e y ou r f in ge r i s b et te r n ow ?” A li ce s ai d v er y p ol it el y, a s s he c ro ss ed t he l it tl e b ro ok a ft er t he

Queen.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“ Oh , m uc h b et te r! ” c ri ed t he Q ue en , h er v oi ce r is in g i nt o a s qu ea k a s s he w en t o n. “ Mu ch b ee tt er !

B e- et te r! B e- e- e- et te r! B -e -e hh !” T he l as t w or d e nd ed i n a l on g b le at , s o l ik e a s he ep t ha t A li ce q ui te

started.

S he l oo ke d a t t he Q ue en , w ho s ee me d t o h av e s ud de nl y w ra pp ed h er se lf u p i n w oo l. A li ce r ub be d h er

e ye s, a nd l ook ed a ga in . S he c oul dn ’t m ake o ut wh at ha d ha pp en ed a t a ll . W as s he i n a s hop ? A nd w as

t ha t r ea ll y - - wa s i t r ea ll y a s he ep t ha t wa s s it ti ng o n t he o the r s ide of t he c oun te r? Rub a s s he w oul d, s he

c oul d m ak e n ot hi ng m or e o f i t: s he w as i n a l it tl e d ar k s ho p, l ea ni ng w it h he r e lb ow s o n t he c ou nt er , a ndo pp os it e t o h er w as a n o ld S he ep , s it ti ng i n a n a rm -c ha ir k ni tt in g, a nd e ve ry no w a nd t he n l ea vi ng o ff t o

l oo k a t h er t hr ou gh a g re at p ai r o f s pe ct ac le s.

“ Wh at i s i t yo u w an t t o b uy ?” t he S he ep s ai d a t l as t, l oo ki ng u p f or a m om en t f ro m h er k ni tt in g.

“ I do n’ t q ui te kn ow y et ,” A li ce s ai d ve ry ge nt ly . “ I s ho ul d l ik e t o l oo k a ll r oun d me f ir st , i f I m ig ht .”

“ You m ay l ook i n f ront of you, a nd on bot h s ide s, i f you l ike ,” s ai d t he She ep; “ but you c an’ t look a ll

r oun d y ou - - un le ss yo u’ ve g ot e ye s a t t he b ac k of y ou r he ad .”

B ut t he se , a s i t h ap pe ne d, A li ce h ad n ot g ot ; s o s he c on te nt ed h er se lf w it h t ur ni ng r ou nd , l oo ki ng a t t he

s he lve s a s s he c ame t o t he m.



T he s hop s ee me d t o be f ul l o f a ll m anne r of c ur ious th ings - - but t he odde st p ar t of i t a ll wa s, t ha t

w he ne ve r s he l oo ke d h ar d a t a ny s he lf , t o m ak e o ut e xa ct ly w ha t i t h ad o n i t, t ha t p ar ti cu la r s he lf w asa lw ays qu it e e mp ty : t ho ug h t he o th er s r ou nd i t w er e c ro wd ed a s f ul l a s t he y c ou ld h ol d.

“ Thi ngs f low about s o he re !” she s ai d a t l as t i n a pl ai nti ve t one , a fte r s he ha d s pe nt a mi nute or s o i n

v ai nl y p ur su in g a l ar ge b ri gh t t hi ng , t hat l oo ked s om et im es l ik e a d ol l and s om et im es l ik e a w or k- bo x, and

w as a lw ay s i n t he s he lf n ex t a bo ve t he on e s he w as l oo ki ng a t. “ An d t hi s o ne i s t he m os t p rov ok in g o f a ll

- - but I ’l l t el l you w ha t - - “ s he a dd ed, a s a s udd en t hou ght s tr uc k he r, “ I’ ll f ol low i t u p t o t he ve ry t op

s helf o f all . I t’ ll p uzzl e i t t o g o t hr ou gh t he cei li ng , I exp ect! ”

B ut even t hi s p lan f ai led: t he “th in g” w en t t hr ou gh t he cei li ng as q ui et ly as p os si bl e, as i f i t w er e q ui te

u se d t o i t.

“ Ar e y ou a c hi ld or a t ee tot um ?” t he Sh ee p s ai d a s s he t ook up a not he r p ai r of ne edl es . “ You’ ll m ak e

m e g idd y s oo n, i f y ou g o o n t ur ni ng r ou nd l ik e t ha t. ” S he w as n ow w or ki ng w it h f our te en p ai rs a t o nc e,

and A li ce cou ld n’ t h el p l oo ki ng at h er i n g reat ast on is hm en t.

“ Ho w c an s he k ni t w it h s o m an y? ” t he pu zz le d c hi ld t hou gh t t o h er se lf . “ Sh e g et s m or e a nd m or e l ik e a

porcupine every minute!”

“ Ca n y ou r ow ?” t he S he ep a sk ed , h an di ng h er a p ai r o f k ni tt in g- ne ed le s a s s he s po ke .

“ Ye s, a l it tl e - - but not on l an d - - a nd no t w it h ne ed le s - - - ” Al ic e w as be gi nni ng t o s ay wh en s udd enl yt he ne ed le s t ur ne d i nt o o ar s i n h er h an ds , a nd s he f ou nd t he y w er e i n a l it tl e b oa t, g li di ng a lo ng b et we en

banks: so there was nothing for it but to do her best.



“ Fe at he r! ” c ri ed t he S he ep , a s s he t oo k u p a no th er p ai r o f n ee dl es .

T hi s d id n’ t s ou nd l ik e a r em ar k t ha t n ee de d a ny a ns we r, s o A li ce s ai d n ot hi ng , b ut p ul le d a wa y. T he re

wa s s om et hi ng v er y q ue er a bout t he wa te r, s he t hough t, a s e ve ry now a nd t he n t he oa rs got f as t i n i t, a nd

w ou ld h ar dl y com e o ut again .

“Feat her! F eath er !” t he S heep cri ed again , t ak in g m or e n eedl es . “Yo u’ ll b e catchi ng a crab d ir ectl y. ”

“A d ear l it tl e crab! ” t ho ug ht A li ce. “I s ho ul d l ik e t hat. ”

“ Di dn ’t y ou h ea r m e s ay ‘ Fe at he r’ ?” t he S he ep c ri ed a ng ri ly , t ak in g u p q ui te a b un ch o f n ee dl es .

“ In de ed I d id ,” s ai d A li ce : “ yo u’ ve s ai d i t v er y o ft en - - a nd v er y l ou d. P le as e, w he re a re t he c ra bs ?”

“ In t he wa te r, o f c our se !” s ai d t he Sh ee p, s ti ck ing s om e of t he ne edl es i nt o h er ha ir , a s h er ha nds we re

f ul l. “Feat her, I s ay !

“ Why d o yo u s ay ‘ Fe at he r’ s o of te n? ” Al ic e a ske d a t l as t, r at he r v ex ed. “ I’ m no t a b ir d! ”

“ Yo u a re ,” s ai d t he S he ep : “ yo u’ re a l it tl e g oo se .”

T hi s o ff end ed A li ce a l it tl e, s o t he re w as n o m or e c on ve rs at io n f or a m in ut e o r t wo , w hi le t he b oa t g li de d

g en tl y o n, s om et im es a mo ng b ed s o f w ee ds ( wh ic h m ad e t he o ar s s ti ck f as t i n t he w at er , w or se t ha n

ever) , and s om et im es u nd er t rees , b ut alw ay s w it h t he s am e t al l r iv er b an ks f ro wn in g o ver t heir h eads .

“ Oh , p le as e! T he re a re s om e s ce nt ed r us he s! ” A li ce c ri ed i n a s ud de n t ra ns po rt o f d el ig ht . “ Th er e r ea ll y

a re – a nd s uc h b ea ut ie s! ”

“Yo u n eedn ’t s ay ‘ pl ease’ t om e abo ut ‘ em ,” t he S heep s ai d, w it ho ut l oo ki ng u p f ro m h er k ni tt in g: “I

di dn’ t put ‘ em t he re , a nd I ’m not g oi ng t o t ake ‘ em a wa y.”

“ No , b ut I m ea nt - - p le as e, m ay w e w ai t a nd p ic k s om e? ” A li ce p le ad ed . “ If y ou d on ’t m in d s to pp in g

t he bo at f or a m in ut e. ”

“ Ho w a m I t o s to p i t? ” s ai d t he S he ep . “ If y ou l ea ve o ff r ow in g, i t’ ll s to p of i ts el f. ”

S o t he b oa t w as l ef t t o d ri ft d ow n t he s tr ea m a s i t w ou ld , t il l i t g li de d g en tl y i n a mo ng t he wa vi ng r us he s.A nd t he n t he l it tl e s le ev es w er e c ar ef ul ly r ol le d u p, a nd t he l it tl e a rm s w er e p lu ng ed i n e lb ow -d ee p, t o g et

hol d of t he r us he s a good lon g wa y down be fo re bre aki ng t he m of f -- and f or a whi le Al ic e f or got a ll

a bout t he Sh ee p a nd t he kni tt ing , a s s he be nt ove r t he s ide of t he bo at , w it h j us t t he e nds of he r t angl ed

h ai r d ip pi ng i nt o t he w at er - - w hi le w it h b ri gh t e ag er e ye s s he c au gh t a t o ne b un ch a ft er a no th er o f t he

darling scented rushes.

“ I o nl y h op e t he b oa t w on ’t t ip pl e o ve r! ” s he s ai d t o h er se lf . “ Oh , w ha t a l ov el y o ne ! O nl y I c ou ld n’ t

q ui te r ea ch i t. ” A nd i t c er ta in ly d id s ee m a l it tl e p ro vo ki ng ( “a lm os t a s i f i t h ap pe ne d o n p ur pos e, ” s he

t ho ug ht ) t ha t, t ho ug h s he m an ag ed t o p ic k p le nt y o f b ea ut if ul r us he s a s t he b oa t g li de d b y, t he re w as

a lw ay s a m or e l ov el y o ne t ha t s he c ou ld n’ t r ea ch .

“ Th e p re tt ie st a re a lw ay s f ur th er !” s he s ai d a t l as t, w it h a s ig h a t t he o bs ti na cy o f t he r us he s i n g ro wi ng s o

f ar o ff , a s, w it h f lu sh ed c he ek s a nd d ri pp in g h ai r a nd h an ds , s he s cr am bl ed b ac k i nt o h er p la ce , a nd



began to arrange her new-found treasures.

Wh at ma tt er ed i t t o he r j us t t he n t ha t t he r us he s ha d b egu n t o f ade , a nd t o l os e a ll t he ir s ce nt a nd b ea ut y

f ro m t he v er y m om ent t ha t s he p ic ke d t he m? E ve n r ea l s ce nt ed r us he s, y ou k no w, l as t o nl y a v er y l it tl e

w hi le - - a nd t he se , b ei ng d re am ru sh es , m el te d a wa y a lm os t l ik e s no w, a s t he y l ay i n h ea ps a t h er f ee t - -

but Alice hardly noticed this, there were so many other curious things to think about.

T he y ha dn’ t g one m uc h f ar the r b ef or e t he bl ade of o ne of t he oa rs go t f as t i n t he wa te r a nd w oul dn’ t

c om e o ut a ga in ( so A li ce e xp la in ed i t a ft er wa rd s) , a nd t he c on se qu en ce w as t ha t t he h an dl e o f i t c au gh t

he r unde r the c hi n, a nd, i n s pi te of a s er ie s of l it tle s hr ie ks of “ Oh, oh, oh! ” f rom po or Al ic e, i t s we pt he r

s tr ai gh t o ff t he s ea t, a nd d ow n a mo ng t he h ea p o f r us he s.

H ow ev er , s he w as n’ t a bi t h ur t, a nd w as s oo n u p a ga in : t he S he ep w en t o n w it h h er k ni tt in g a ll t he w hi le ,

just as if nothing had happened. “That was a nice crab you caught!” she remarked, as Alice got back into

h er p lace, v er y m uch r el ieved t o f in d h er self s ti ll i n t he b oat.

“ Wa s i t? I d idn’ t s ee i t,” s ai d Al ic e, pe ep ing c aut io us ly ove r t he s ide of t he boa t i nt o t he da rk wa te r. “ Iwi sh i t ha dn’ t l et go - - I s hould s o l ike a li tt le c rab t o t ake home wi th me !” But the S hee p only la ughe d

scornfully, and went on with her knitting.

“ Ar e t he re m an y c ra bs h er e? ” s ai d A li ce .



“ Cr ab s, a nd a ll s or ts o f t hi ng s, ” s ai d t he S he ep : “ pl en ty o f c ho ic e, o nl y m ak e u p y ou r m in d. N ow , w ha t

do yo u w ant t o buy ?”

“ To b uy !” A li ce e ch oe d i n a t on e t ha t w as h al f a st on is he d a nd h al f f ri gh te ne d - - f or t he o ar s, a nd t he

boat, and the river, had vanished all in a moment, and she was back again in the little dark shop.

“ I s ho ul d l ik e t o b uy a n e gg, pl ea se ,” s he s ai d t im idl y. “ How d o y ou s el l t he m?

“ Fi ve pe nc e f ar th in g f or o ne - - t wo pe nc e f or t wo .” t he S he ep r ep li ed .

“ Th en t wo a re c he ap er t ha n o ne ?” A li ce s ai d i n a s ur pr is ed t on e, t ak in g o ut h er p ur se .

“ On ly y ou m us t e at t he m b ot h, i f y ou b uy t wo ,” s ai d t he S he ep .

“ Th en I ’l l h av e o ne , p le as e, ” s ai d A li ce , a s s he p ut t he m on ey d ow n o n t he c ou nt er . F or s he t ho ug ht t o

h er self , “Th ey m ig ht n’ t b e at all n ice, y ou k no w. ”

T he S he ep to ok t he m one y, a nd put i t a wa y i n a box : t he n s he s ai d, “ I ne ve r put t hi ngs i nt o pe opl e’ s

ha nds - - t ha t w oul d ne ve r d o - - yo u m us t ge t i t f or y our se lf .” And s o s ay ing, s he w ent of f t o t he o the r

e nd of t he sh op, a nd s et t he e gg upr ight on a s he lf . “ I wonde r why it woul dn’ t do? ” t hought Al ic e, a s s he

gr op ed h er w ay a mon g t he t ab le s a nd c ha ir s, f or t he s hop wa s ve ry d ar k t ow ar ds t he e nd. “ The e gg

s ee ms t o ge t f ar the r a wa y t he m or e I w al k t ow ar ds i t. L et me s ee , i s t hi s a c ha ir ? Wh y, i t’ s go t br anc he s,

I d ec la re ! H ow v er y o dd t o f in d t re es g ro wi ng h er e! A nd a ct ua ll y h er e’ s a l it tl e b ro ok ! W el l, t hi s i s t he

v er y q ue er es t s ho p I e ve r s aw !”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

S o s he w ent on, w onde ri ng m or e a nd mo re a t e ve ry s te p a s e ve ry thi ng t ur ne d i nt o a t re e t he m om ent s he

c ame up t o i t, a nd she quite expec te d t he egg t o do t he sa me.

“Humpty Dumpty”

H OW EV ER , t he e gg on ly g ot l ar ge r a nd l ar ge r, a nd m or e a nd m or e hu ma n: w he n s he h ad c om e w it hi n afe w ya rds of it, s he s aw that it had eyes and a nose a nd mouth; a nd when she had come close to i t, she

s aw c le ar ly t ha t i t w as H UM PT Y D UM PT Y h im se lf . “ It c an ’t b e a ny bo dy e ls e! s he s ai d t o h er se lf . “ I’ m

a s c ert ai n of it , as i f his name wa s wr it te n al l ove r his f ac e! ”

I t m ig ht h av e b een w ri tt en a h un dr ed t im es , eas il y, o n t hat eno rm ou s f ace. H um pt y D um pt y w as s it ti ng

wi th hi s l egs c ros se d, l ike a Tur k, on t he to p of a hi gh wa ll - - s uc h a na rr ow one t ha t A li ce qui te

w on de re d h ow he c oul d ke ep h is b al anc e - - a nd, a s h is e ye s w er e s te ad il y f ixe d i n t he o pp os it e

d ir ec ti on , a nd h e d id n’ t t ak e t he l ea st n ot ic e o f h er , s he t ho ug ht h e m us t b e a s tu ff ed f ig ur e.

“ An d h ow e xa ct ly l ik e a n e gg h e i s! ” s he s ai d a lo ud , s ta nd ing w it h h er h an ds r ea dy t o c at ch h im , f or s he

w as every m om en t exp ecti ng h im t o f al l.

“It ’s very p ro vo ki ng ,” H um pt y D um pt y s ai d aft er a l on g s il en ce, l oo ki ng away f ro m A li ce as h e s po ke,



“ to b e c al le d a n e gg - -v er y! ”

“ I s ai d y ou l oo ke d l ik e a n e gg , S ir ,” A li ce g en tl y e xp la in ed . “ An d s om e e gg s a re v er y p re tt y, y ou k no w, ”

s he a dd ed , h op in g t o t ur n h er r em ar k i nt o a s or t o f c om pl im en t.

“ So me p eo pl e, ” s ai d H um pt y D um pt y, l oo ki ng a wa y f ro m h er a s u su al , “ ha ve n o m or e s en se t ha n a

baby!”

A li ce d id n’ t k no w w ha t t o s ay t o t hi s: i t w as n’ t a t a ll l ik e c on ve rs at io n, s he t ho ug ht , a s h e n ev er s ai d

a nyt hi ng t o h er ; i n f ac t, hi s l as t r em ar k wa s e vi de nt ly a dd re ss ed t o a t re e - - s o s he s to od a nd s of tl y

r ep ea te d t o h er se lf : - -

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall:

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

Al l t he k in g’ s ho rs es an d al l t he k in g’ s me n

C ou ld n’ t p ut H um pt y D um pt y i n h is p la ce a ga in .”

“Th at l as t l in e i s m uch t oo l on g f or t he p oetr y, ” s he add ed , alm os t o ut l ou d, f or gett in g t hat H um pt y

D um pt y w ou ld h ear h er .

“Do n’ t s tand chatt er in g t o y ou rs el f l ik e t hat, ” H um pt y D um pt y s ai d, l oo ki ng at h er f or t he f ir st t im e, “bu tt el l m e y ou r n am e and y ou r b us in es s. ”

“My name is Ali ce, but -- -”

“It’s a stupid name enough!” Humpty Dumpty interrupted impatiently. “What does it mean?”

“Must a name mean something?” Alice asked doubtfully.

“ Of c our se i t mus t,” H umpt y Dumpt y s ai d wi th a s hor t l augh. “ My na me m eans the sha pe I am - - a nd a

g oo d h an ds om e s ha pe i t i s, t oo . W it h a n am e l ik e y ou rs , y ou m ig ht b e a ny s ha pe , a lm os t. ”

“ Wh y do y ou s it o ut he re a ll a lo ne ?” s ai d A li ce , n ot w is hi ng t o b eg in a n a rg um ent .

“Wh y, b ecau se t here’s n ob od y w it h m e! ” cri ed H um pt y D um pt y. “Di d y ou t hi nk I d id n’ t k no w t he

a ns we r t o t ha t? A sk a no th er .”

“ Do n’ t y ou t hi nk y ou’ d b e s af er do wn o n t he gr ou nd ?” A li ce w en t o n, no t w it h a ny i de a o f m ak in g

ano th er r id dl e, b ut s im pl y i n h er g oo d- natu red anx iety f or t he q ueer creat ur e. “Th at w al l i s s o v er y

narrow!”

“Wh at t remend ou sl y eas y r id dl es y ou ask !” H um pt y D um pt y g ro wl ed o ut . “Of cou rs e I d on ’t t hi nk s o!

Why, if eve r I did fall off -- whi ch the re’s no cha nce of -- but if did - - - ” Here he pur sed up his lips, and

l oo ke d s o s ol emn a nd gr an d t ha t A li ce c ou ld ha rd ly h el p l au gh ing . “ If I d id f al l, ” h e w en t o n, “ th e K ing



ha s pr om is ed me - - a h, you m ay t ur n pa le , if you l ike ! You di dn’ t t hin k I wa s goin g t o s ay t ha t, di d you?

The king has promised me – with his own mouth -- to -- to -- -- “

“To s en d all h is h or ses and all h is m en ,” A li ce i nt er ru pt ed , r at her u nw is el y.

“ No w I d ec la re t ha t’ s t oo b ad !” H um pt y D um pt y c ri ed , b re ak in g i nt o a s ud de n p as si on . “ Yo u’ ve b ee n

l is te ni ng a t d oo rs - - a nd b eh in d t re es .”

“I h av en ’t , i nd eed! ” A li ce s ai d v er y g en tl y. “It ’s i n a b oo k. ”

“ Ah we ll ! T he y m ay w ri te s uc h t hi ng s i n a b oo k,” Hu mp ty D um pt y s ai d i n a c al me r t on e. “ Th at ’s w ha t

you ca ll a Hist ory of Engl and, t hat i s Now, take a good l ook at me! I’ m one that has spoken t o a Ki ng, I

a m: m ay ha p y ou ’l l n ev er s ee s uc h a no th er : a nd t o s ho w y ou I ’m n ot p ro ud , yo u m ay s ha ke h an ds w it h

me !” A nd he g ri nne d a lmos t f rom e ar t o e ar , a s he l ea nt f or wa rds ( and a s ne ar ly a s pos si bl e f el l of f t he

w al l i n do in g s o) a nd of fe re d Al ic e hi s h and . S he w at che d hi m a l it tl e a nxi ous ly a s s he t oo k i t. “ If h e

s mi led m uch m or e, t he end s o f h is m ou th m ig ht m eet b eh in d, ” s he t ho ug ht : “an d t hen I d on ’t k no w w hat

w ou ld h ap pe n t o h is h ea d! I ’m a fr ai d i t w ou ld c om e o ff !”

“ Ye s, a ll h is h or se s a nd a ll hi s m en ,” Hu mpt y D um pt y w en t on . “ The y’ d pi ck m e u p a ga in i n a m in ut e,

t he y w ou ld ! H ow ev er , t hi s c on ve rs at io n i s g oi ng o n a l it tl e t oo f as t: l et ’s g o b ac k t o t he l as t r em ar k b ut

one.”

“I’ m afr ai d I can ’t q ui te r em em ber i t, ” A li ce s ai d v er y p ol it el y.

“ In t ha t c as e we m ay s ta rt a fr es h,” s ai d H um pt y D um pt y, “ and i t’ s my t ur n t o c hoo se a s ubj ec t - - - ”

( “He ta lk s a bout i t j us t a s i f it wa s a ga me !” t hought A lic e. ) “ So he re ’s a que st ion f or y ou. H ow ol d di d

y ou s ay y ou w er e?

A li ce m ad e a s ho rt cal cu lati on , and s ai d, “Seven y ears and s ix m on th s. ’

“Wrong!” Humpty Dumpty exclaimed triumphantly. “You never said a word like it.”

“I t ho ug ht y ou m eant “Ho w o ld are y ou ?’ ” A li ce exp lain ed .

“ If I ’d m ea nt t ha t, I ’d h av e s ai d i t, ” s ai d H um pt y D um pt y.



A li ce d id n’ t w an t t o b eg in ano th er arg um en t, s o s he s ai d n ot hi ng .

“Seven years and six months!” Humpty Dumpty repeated thoughtfully. “An uncomfortable sort of age.

Now if you’d asked my advice, I’d have said, “Leave off at seven’ -- but it’s too late now.”

“I never ask advice about growing,” Alice said indignantly.

“To o p ro ud ?” t he o th er enq ui r ed .

Alice felt even more indignant at this suggestion.

“I m ean, ” s he s ai d, “th at o ne can ’t h el p g ro wi ng o ld er .”

“On e can ’t , p er haps ,” s ai d H um pt y D um pt y, “bu t t wo can . W it h p ro per ass is tance, y ou m ig ht h av e l ef t

o ff at s ev en .”

“Wh at a b eaut if ul b el t y ou ’v e g ot o n! ” A li ce s ud denl y r em ar ked. ( Th ey h ad h ad q ui te eno ug h o f t he

s ub je ct o f a ge , s he t ho ug ht : a nd i f t he y w er e r ea ll y t o t ak e t ur ns i n c ho os in g s ub je ct s, i t w as h er t ur n

n ow ). “ At l ea st ,” s he c or re ct ed h er se lf o n s ec on d t ho ug ht s, “ a b ea ut if ul c ra va t, I s ho ul d h av e s ai d - - n o,a b el t, I m ea n - - o h, I b eg y ou r p ar do n! ” s he a dd ed i n d is ma y, f or H um pt y D um pt y l oo ke d t ho ro ug hl y

o ff en de d, a nd s he b eg an t o w is h s he h ad n’ t c ho se n t ha t s ub je ct . “ If o nl y I k ne w, ” s he t ho ug ht t o h er se lf ,



“wh ich w as n eck and w hi ch w as w ai st !”

E vi dent ly H um pt y D um pt y w as v er y ang ry , t ho ug h h e s ai d n ot hi ng f or a m in ut e o r t wo . W hen h e d id

s pe ak a ga in, i t w as i n a d ee p gr owl .

“ It i s a - -m os t - - pr ov oki ng - - t hi ng, ” he s ai d a t l as t, “ whe n a pe rs on d oe sn’ t k no w a c ra va t f ro m a

belt!”

“I k no w i t’ s v er y i gn or an t o f m e, ” A li ce r ep li ed i n s o h um bl e a t on e t hat H um pt y D um pt y r el en ted.

“ It ’s a c ra va t, c hi ld, a nd a be aut if ul o ne , a s y ou s ay . I t’ s a pr es ent f ro m t he W hi te K ing a nd Que en.

There now!”

“ Is i t r ea ll y? ” s ai d A li ce , q ui te p le as ed t o f in d s he h ad c ho se n a g oo d s ub je ct , a ft er a ll .

“Th ey g av e i t m e, ” H um pt y D um pt y con ti nu ed t ho ug ht fu ll y, as h e cro ss ed o ne k nee o ver t he o th er and

c la sp ed h is h an ds r ou nd i t, “ - - f or a n u n- bi rt hd ay p re se nt .”

“ I b eg y ou r p ar do n? ” A li ce s ai d w it h a p uz zl ed a ir .

“I’m not offended,” said Humpty Dumpty.

“I m ean, w hat i s an u n- bi rt hd ay p resent ?”

“A p resent g iv en w hen i t i sn ’t y ou r b ir th day, o f cou rs e.

A li ce c on si de re d a l it tl e. “ I l ik e b ir th da y p re se nt s b es t, ” s he s ai d a t l as t.

“ Yo u d on ’t k no w w ha t y ou ’r e t al ki ng a bo ut !” c ri ed H um pt y D um pt y. “ Ho w m an y d ay s a re t he re i n a

year?”

“Three hundred and sixty-five,” said Alice.

“And how many birthdays have you?”

“One.”

“An d i f y ou t ak e o ne f ro m t hr ee h un dr ed and s ix ty -f iv e, w hat r em ai ns ?”

“Three hundred and sixty-four, of course.”

H um pt y D um pt y l oo ked d ou bt fu ll y. “I’ d r at her s ee t hat d on e o n p ap er ,” h e s ai d.

A li ce c ou ld n’ t h el p s mi li ng a s s he t oo k o ut h er m em or an du m- bo ok , a nd w or ke d t he s um f or h im : 3 65 1

- - 3 64 - - H um pt y Du mpt y t oo k t he b oo k, a nd l oo ke d a t i t v er y c ar ef ul ly. “ Th at s ee ms t o b e d on e r igh t

-- -” he began.

“You’re holding it upside down!” Alice interrupted.

“ To b e s ur e I w as !” H um pt y D um pt y s ai d g ai ly , a s s he t ur ne d i t r ou nd f or h im . “ I t ho ug ht i t l oo ke d a

l it tl e que er . As I w as s ayi ng, t ha t s ee ms t o be done r ight - - t ho ugh I ha ve n’ t t im e t o l ook i t ove r



t ho ro ug hl y j us t n ow - - a nd t ha t s ho ws t ha t t he re a re t hr ee h un dr ed a nd s ix ty -f ou r d ay s w he n y ou g et

u n- bi r th day p r es ent s - - - ”

“Certainly,” said Alice.

“An d o nl y o ne f or b ir th day p resent s, y ou k no w, T here’s g lo ry f or y ou !”

“ I d on ’t k no w w ha t y ou m ea n b y ‘ gl or y, ’ “ Al ic e s ai d.

H um pt y D um pt y s mi led con temp tu ou sl y. “Of cou rs e y ou d on ’t - - t il l I t el l y ou . I m eant “th er e’ s a n ice

knock-down argument for you!’”

“Bu t ‘ gl or y’ d oesn ’t m ean ‘ a n ice k no ck -d ow n ar gu ment ,’ ” A li ce o bj ect ed .

“ Whe n I u se a wo rd, ” Hum pt y D umpt y s ai d in a r at he r a s cor nfu l t one , “ it me ans j us t w ha t I c hoos e i t t o

m ea n - - n ei th er m or e n or l es s.

“Th e q uest io n i s, ” s ai d A li ce, “wh et her y ou can m ak e w or ds m ean d if ferent t hi ng s. ”

“ Th e qu es ti on i s, ” s ai d H um pt y D um pt y, “ wh ic h i s t o be m as te r - - t ha t’ s a ll .”

A li ce w as t oo m uch p uzzl ed t o s ay any th in g, s o aft er a m in ut e H um pt y D um pt y b eg an again .

“ Th ey ’v e a t em pe r, s om e o f t he m - - p ar ti cu la rl y v er bs , t he y’ re t he p ro ud es t - - a dj ec ti ve s y ou c an d o

any th in g w it h, b ut n ot v er bs - - h ow ev er , I can m an ag e t he w ho le l ot ! I mp en et rabi li ty ! T hat’ s w hat I s ay !”

“Wo ul d y ou t el l m e, p leas e, ” s ai d A li ce, “wh at t hat m eans ?”

“No w y ou t al k l ik e a r easo nabl e chi ld ,” s ai d H um pt y D um pt y, l oo ki ng v er y m uch p leas ed . “I m eant b y

“im penetr ab il it y’ t hat w e’ ve h ad eno ug h o f t hat s ub ject , and i t w ou ld b e j us t as w el l i f y ou ’d m en ti on

wh at you me ant t o do ne xt , a s I s uppos e y ou don ’t i nt end t o s top h er e a ll t he r es t of y our l if e. ”

“ Th at ’s a g re at d ea l t o m ak e o ne w or d m ea n, ” A li ce s ai d i n a t ho ug ht fu l t on e.

“ Whe n I m ake a wo rd do a l ot of w or k l ike t ha t, ” s aid Hu mpt y Dum pt y, “ I a lw ays pa y i t e xt ra .”

“ Oh !” s ai d A li ce . S he w as t oo m uc h p uz zl ed t o m ak e a ny o th er r em ar k.

S at ur day n ig ht ,” H um pt y D um pt y w en t o n, w ag gi ng h is h ead g ravely f ro m s id e t o s id e: “fo r t o g et t heir

wa ge s, you know .” ( Al ic e d idn’ t v ent ur e t o a sk wha t he pa id t he m wi th; a nd s o you s ee I c an ’t t el l y ou.)

“Yo u s eem v er y clever at exp lain in g w or ds , S ir ,” s ai d A li ce. “Wo ul d y ou k in dl y t el l m e t he m eani ng o f

t he p oem call ed ‘ Jab ber wo ck y’ ?”

“ Le t’ s h ea r i t, ” s ai d H um pt y D um pt y. “ I c an e xp la in a ll t he p oe ms t ha t e ve r w er e i nv en te d - - a nd a g oo d

m an y t hat h av en ’t b een i nv en ted j us t y et .’

T hi s s ou nd ed v er y h op ef ul , s o A li ce r ep eated t he f ir st v er se:



“ ‘T wa s b ri ll ig , a nd t he s li th y t ov es



And the mome raths outgrabe.”

“Th at ’s eno ug h t o b eg in w it h, ” H um pt y D um pt y i nt er ru pt ed : “th er e are p lent y o f h ar d w or ds

there,’Brillig’ means four o’clock in the afternoon -- the time when you begin broiling things for dinner.”

“Th at ’l l d o v er y w el l, ” s ai d A li ce: “an d ‘ sl it hy ’ ?’

“ We ll , ‘ sl it hy ’ m ea ns ‘ li th e a nd s li my .’ ‘ Li th e’ i s t he s am e a s ‘ ac ti ve .’ Y ou s ee i t’ s l ik e a p or tm an te au - -

t he re a re t wo m ea ni ng s p ac ke d u p i nt o o ne w or d. ”

“I s ee i t n ow ,” A li ce r em ar ked t ho ug ht fu ll y: “an d w hat are t ov es ?

“well , ‘ to ves’ are s om et hi ng l ik e b ad gers - - t hey’ re s om et hi ng l ik e l izar ds - - and t hey’ re s om et hi ng l ik e

corkscrews.”

“Th ey m us t b e v er y cur io us creat ur es .”

“Th ey are t hat, ” s ai d H um pt y D um pt y: “al so t hey m ak e t heir n es ts u nd er s un -d ials - - als o t hey l iv e o n

cheese.”

“An d w hat’ s t o ‘ gy re’ and t o ‘ gy mb le’?”



“ To ‘ gy re ’ i s t o g o r ou nd a nd r ou nd l ik e a g yr os co pe . T o ‘ gi mb le ’ i s t o m ak e h ol es l ik e a g im le t. ”

“ An d ‘ th e w ab e’ i s t he g ra ss p lo t r ou nd a s un di al , I s up po se ?” s ai d A li ce , s ur pr is ed a t h er o wn i ng en ui ty .

“ Of c our se i t i s. I t’ s c al le d ‘ wa be ,’ y ou k now b ec aus e i t g oe s a l ong w ay be for e i t, a nd a l on g wa y

behind it -- -”

“ And a l on g w ay be yond i t on e ac h s id e,” A li ce a dde d.

“Ex actl y s o. W el l, t he ‘ mi ms y’ i s ‘ fl im sy and m is er ab le’ ( th er e’ s ano th er p or tm an teau f or y ou ). A nd a

‘ bo ro go ve’ i s a t hi n s habb y- lo ok in g b ir d w it h i ts f eath er s s ti ck in g o ut all r ou nd - - s om et hi ng l ik e a l iv e

mop.”

“An d t hen ‘ mo me r at hs ’ ?” s ai d A li ce. “If I ’m n ot g iv in g y ou t oo m uch t ro ub le.”

“ We ll , a ‘ ra th ’ i s a s or t o f g re en p ig : b ut ‘ mo me ’ I ’m n ot c er ta in a bo ut . I t hi nk i t’ s s ho rt f or ‘ fr om h om e’

- - m eani ng t hat t hey’ d l os t t heir w ay , y ou k no w. ”

“An d w hat d oes ‘ ou tg rabe’ m ean?”



“Well, ‘outgribing’ is something between bellowing and whistling, with a kind of sneeze in the middle:

ho we ve r, yo u’ ll he ar i t do ne , m ay be - - do wn i n t he w oo d y on de r - - a nd w he n yo u’ ve o nc e he ar d i t

y ou ’l l b equ it e con tent . W ho ’s b een r ep eati ng all t hat h ar d s tu ff t o y ou ?”

“I r ea d i t in a book,” s ai d Ali ce. “ But I had some poe try re pe at ed t o me, much e as ie r than that , by - -

Tweedledee, I think.”

“ As t o p oe tr y, y ou k no w, ” s ai d H um pt y D um pt y, s tr et ch in g o ut o ne o f h is g re at h an ds , “ I c an r ep ea t

poetry as well as other folk if it comes to that -- -”

“Oh , i t n eedn ’t com e t o t hat! ” A li ce h as ti ly s ai d, h op in g t o k eep h im f ro m b eg in ni ng .

“Th e p iece I ’m g oi ng t o r ep eat, ” h e w en t o n w it ho ut n ot icin g h er r em ar k, “was w ri tt en ent ir el y f or y ou r

amusement.”

Al ic e f el t t ha t i n t ha t c ase s he r eal ly ought to li st en t o i t, so s he s at down, a nd s aid “ Tha nk you” r at he r sadly.

“I n wi nt er wh en t he f ie ld s ar e w hi te ,

I sing this song for your delight -- -

o nl y I d on ’t s in g i t, ” h e exp lain ed .

“ I s ee y ou d on ’t ,” s ai d A li ce .

“If y ou can see w heth er I ’m s in gi ng o r n ot , y ou ’v e s harp er eyes t han m os t, ” H um pt y D um pt y r em ar ked

severely. Alice was silent.

“ In s pr in g, w he n w oo ds a re g et ti ng g re en ,

I’ll try and tell you what I mean.”

“Thank you very much,” said Alice.

“I n s um me r, wh en t he da ys a re l ong,

P er ha ps y ou ’l l u nd er st an d t he s on g:

In autumn, when the leaves are brown



Take pen and ink and write it down,”

“ I w il l, i f I c an r em em be r i t s o l ong ,” s ai d A li ce .

“Yo u n eedn ’t g o o n m ak in g r em ar ks l ik e t hat, ” H um pt y D um pt y s ai d: “th ey ’r e n ot s en si bl e, and t hey p ut

me out.”

“I sent a message to the fish:

I told them ‘ This is what I wis h.’

Th e l it tl e f is he s o f t he s ea ,

They sent an answer back to me.

T he l it tl e f is he s’ a ns we r w as

‘ We c annot do i t, Si r, be caus e - - - ’”

“I’ m afr ai d I d on ’t q ui te u nd er st an d, ” s ai d A li ce. “It g et s eas ier f ur th er o n, ” H um pt y D um pt y r ep li ed .

“I sent to them again to say

‘ It wi ll b e be tt er t o ob ey .’

T he f is he s a ns we re d w it h a g ri n,

‘ Why , wha t a te mpe r y ou a re i n! ’

I told them once, I told them twice:

They would not listen to advice.

I took a kettle large and new,

Fit for the deed I had to do.

My heart went hop, my heart went thump;

I filled the kettle at the pump.



Then some one came to me and said,

‘ Th e l it tl e f is he s a re i n b ed .’

I said to him, I said it plain,

“Then you must wake them up again.’

I s ai d i t v er y lo ud and c le ar ;

I w en t a nd s hout ed i n hi s e ar .”

H um pt y D um pt y r ai se d h is v oi ce a lm os t t o a s cr ea m a s h e r ep ea te d t hi s v er se , a nd A li ce t ho ug ht w it h a

s hu dd er , “I w ou ld n’ t h av e b een t he m es seng er f or any th in g ! ”

“But he was very stiff and proud;

H e s ai d “ Yo u n ee dn ’t s ho ut s o l ou d! ’

And he was very proud and stiff;

He said, ‘I’D go and wake them, if -- -’

I took a corkscrew from the shelf.



I w en t t o w a ke t h em u p m ys el f .

And when I found the door was locked

I pulled and pushed and kicked and knocked.

And when I found the door was shut,

I tri ed to tur n the handle, but -- -”

Th er e w as a l ong p au se .

“Is t hat all ?” A li ce t im id ly ask ed .

“That’s all,” said Humpty Dumpty. “Goodbye.”

T hi s w as r at he r s udd en , A li ce t hou gh t: b ut , a ft er s uc h a ve ry s tr on g h in t t ha t s he o ug ht t o b e g oi ng , s he

f el t t ha t i t w ou ld ha rd ly b e c iv il t o s ta y. S o s he h el d o ut h er h an d. “ Go od- by e, t il l w e m ee t a ga in !” s he

s ai d as cheer fu ll y as s he cou ld .

“I s ho ul dn ’t k no w y ou again i f w e d id m eet, ” H um pt y D um pt y r ep li ed i n a d is co nt en ted t on e, g iv in g h er

o ne o f h is f in ge rs t o s ha ke ; “ yo u’ re s o e xa ct ly l ik e o th er p eo pl e. ”

“Th e f ace i s w hat o ne g oes b y, g en er al ly ,” A li ce r em ar ked i n a t ho ug ht fu l t on e.

“ Th at ’s j us t w ha t I c om pl ai n o f, ” s ai d H um pt y D um pt y. “ Yo ur f ac e i s t he s am e a s e ve ry bo dy h as - - t het wo e ye s, s o - - - ” ( ma rk in g t he ir p la ce s i n t he a ir w it h h is t hu mb ) “ no se i n t he m id dl e, m ou th u nd er . I t’ s

always the s ame. Now i f you had the two e yes on the s ame side of the nose , for inst anc e -- or the mouth

a t the t op - - -t ha t woul d be s ome he lp. ”

“It w ou ld n’ t l oo k n ice, ” A li ce o bj ected.

B ut H um pt y D um pt y o nl y s hu t h is eyes and s ai d, “Wait t il l y ou ’v e t ri ed .”

Al ic e w ai te d a m inu te t o s ee i f he wou ld s pe ak a ga in, bu t a s h e n eve r o pe ne d h is e ye s o r t ook a ny

f ur th er n ot ic e o f h er , s he s ai d, “ Go od -b ye !” o nc e m or e, a nd , o n g et ti ng n o a ns we r t o t hi s, s he q ui et lyw al ke d a wa y: b ut s he c ou ld n’ t h el p s ay in g t o h er se lf a s s he w en t, “ Of a ll t he u ns at is fa ct or y - - - ” ( sh e

r epe at ed t hi s a loud, a s i t w as a gr ea t c omf or t t o ha ve s uc h a l ong wor d t o s ay) “ of a ll t he u ns at is fa ct or y

people I ever met -- -” She never finished the sentence, for at this moment a heavy crash shook the

f or es t f ro m e nd t o e nd .

“The Lion and The Unicorn”T HE n ex t m om ent s ol di er s c am e r un ni ng t hr ou gh t he w ood , a t f ir st i n t wo s a nd t hr ee s, t he n t en o r t we nt y

t og et he r, a nd a t l as t i n s uc h c ro wd s t ha t t he y s ee me d t o f il l t he w ho le f or es t. A li ce g ot b eh in d a t re e, f or



f ea r of be ing r un ov er , a nd w at che d t he m go by.

S he t ho ugh t t ha t i n a ll h er l if e s he h ad ne ve r s ee n s ol di er s s o un ce rt ai n o n t he ir f ee t: t he y w er e a lw ays

t ri pp in g o ver s om et hi ng o r o th er , and w henever o ne w en t d ow n, s ev er al m or e alw ay s f el l o ver h im , s o

t ha t t he g ro un d w as s oo n c ov er ed w it h l it tl e h ea ps o f m en .

T hen came t he h or ses . H av in g f ou r f eet, t hes e m an ag ed r at her b et ter t han t he f oo t- s ol di er s: b ut even

t he y s tu mb le d n ow a nd t he n; a nd i t s ee me d t o b e a r eg ul ar r ul e t ha t, w he ne ve r a h or se s tu mb le d, t her id er f el l o ff i ns tant ly . T he con fu si on g ot w or se every m om en t, and A li ce w as v er y g lad t o g et i nt o an

o pe n p la ce , w he re s he f ou nd t he W hi te K in g s ea te d o n t he g ro un d, b us il y w ri ti ng i n hi s

memorandum-book.

“ I’ ve s en t t he m a ll !” t he K in g c ri ed i n a t on e of d el igh t, on s ee ing A li ce . “ Di d y ou h ap pe n t o m ee t a ny

s ol di er s, m y d ea r, a s y ou c am e t hr ou gh t he w oo d? ”

“Yes, I d id ,” s ai d A li ce: “several t ho us an d, I s ho ul d t hi nk .”

“ Fo ur t ho us an d t wo h un dr ed a nd s ev en , t ha t’ s t he e xa ct n um be r, ” t he K in g s ai d, r ef er ri ng t o h is b oo k. “ I

c ou ldn’ t s en d a ll t he h or se s, y ou kno w, be ca us e t wo o f t he m a re wa nt ed i n t he ga me . An d I ha ve n’ t s en t

t he t wo M es se ng er s, e it he r. T he y’ ve b ot h g on e t o t he t ow n. J us t l oo k a lo ng t he r oa d, a nd t el l m e i f y ou

c an s ee e it he r o f t he m. ”



“ I s ee no bod y o n t he r oa d, ” s ai d A li ce .

“ I o nl y w is h I h ad s uc h e ye s, ” t he Ki ng r em ar ke d i n a f re tf ul t one . “ To b e a bl e t o s ee No bod y! And a t

t ha t d is ta nc e t oo! W hy, i t’ s a s mu ch a s I c an do t o s ee r ea l pe op le , by t hi s l igh t! ”

A ll t hi s wa s l os t o n A li ce , w ho w as s ti ll l ook in g i nt ent ly a lo ng t he r oa d, s ha di ng he r e ye s w it h on e h and .“ I s ee s om eb od y n ow !” s he e xc la im ed a t l as t. “ Bu t h e’ s c om in g v er y s lo wl y - - a nd w ha t c ur io us a tt it ud es

h e g oe s i nt o! ” ( Fo r t he M es se ng er k ep t s ki pp in g u p a nd d ow n, a nd w ri gg li ng l ik e a n e el , a s h e c am e

a lo ng , w it h h is g re at h an ds s pr ea d o ut l ik e f an s o n e ac h s id e. )

“ No t a t a ll ,” s ai d t he K in g. “ He ’s a n A ng lo -S ax on M es se ng er - - a nd t ho se a re A ng lo -S ax on a tt it ud es .

H e o nl y d oe s t he m w he n h e’ s h ap py . H is n am e i s H ai gh a. ” ( He p ro no un ce d i t s o a s t o r hy me w it h

“mayor.”)

“ I l ove m y l ov e w it h a n H ,” A li ce c ou ld n’ t h el p b eg in ni ng, “ be ca us e h e i s H ap py . I h at e h im w it h a n H ,

because he is Hideous. I fed him with -- with -- with Ham-sandwiches and Hay. His name is Haigha, andhe lives -- -”

“ He l iv es o n t he H il l, ” t he Ki ng r ema rk ed s im pl y, w it ho ut t he l ea st i de a t ha t h e w as j oi ni ng i n t he ga me ,

w hi le A li ce w as s ti ll h es it at in g f or t he n am e o f a t ow n b eg in ni ng w it h H . “Th e o th er M es seng er ’s cal led

Hatta. I must have two, you know -- to come and go. One to come, and one to go.”

“ I b eg y ou r p ar do n? ” s ai d A li ce .

“ It i sn ’t r es pe ct ab le t o b eg ,” s ai d t he K in g.

“ I o nl y m ea nt t ha t I d id n’ t u nd er st an d, ” s ai d A li ce . “ Wh y o ne t o c om e a nd o ne t o g o? ”

“ Do n’ t I t el l y ou ?” t he K in g r ep ea te d i mp at ie nt ly . “ I m us t h av e t wo - - t o f et ch a nd c ar ry . O ne t o f et ch ,

a nd o ne t o c ar ry .”

A t t hi s m ome nt t he M es se ng er a rr iv ed: h e w as f ar t oo mu ch o ut o f br ea th t o s ay a wor d, a nd c oul d onl y

w av e h is h an ds a bo ut , a nd m ak e t he m os t f ea rf ul f ac es a t t he p oo r K in g.



“Th is y ou ng l ad y l ov es y ou w it h an H ,” t he K in g s ai d, i nt ro du ci ng A li ce i n t he h op e o f t ur ni ng o ff t he

M es se ng er ’s a tt en ti on f ro m h im se lf - - b ut I t w as n o u se - - t he A ng lo -S ax on a tt it ud es o nl y g ot m or e

ext raor di nary every m om en t, w hi le t he g reat eyes r ol led w il dl y f ro m s id e t o s id e.

“ Yo u a la rm m e! ” s ai d t he K ing . “ I f ee l f ai nt - - gi ve m e a ha m s and wi ch !”

O n w hi ch t he M es se ng er , t o A li ce ’s g re at a mu se me nt , o pe ne d a b ag t ha t h un g r ou nd h is n ec k, a ndh an de d a s an dw ic h t o t he K in g, w ho d ev ou re d i t g re ed il y.

“Another sandwich!” said the King.

“Th er e’ s n ot hi ng b ut h ay l ef t n ow ,” t he M es seng er s ai d, p eepi ng i nt o t he b ag .

“Hay, then,” the King faintly murmured.

A li ce w as g la d t o s ee t ha t i t r evi ve d h im a g oo d de al . “ The re ’s n ot hi ng l ik e e at ing h ay w he n y ou’ re f ai nt ,”

h e r ema rk ed t o h er , a s h e m un ch ed a wa y.

“ I s ho ul d t hi nk t hr ow in g c ol d w at er o ve r y ou w ou ld b e b et te r, ” A li ce s ug ge st ed : “ - - - or s om e

sal-volatile.”

“I d id n’ t s ay t here w as n ot hi ng b et ter, ” t he K in g r ep li ed . “I s ai d t here w as n ot hi ng l ik e i t. ” W hi ch A li ce

d id n ot v en tu re t o d en y.

“ Who di d you pa ss on t he r oa d? ” t he K ing we nt on, hol di ng o ut h is ha nd t o t he Me ss enge r f or s ome

more hay.

“No bo dy ,” s aid t he M es s en ger .

“ Qu it e r ig ht ,” s ai d t he K in g: “ th is y ou ng l ad y s aw h im t oo . S o o f c ou rs e N ob od y w al ks s lo we r t ha n y ou .



“ I do m y be st, ” t he Me ss en ge r s ai d i n a s ul le n t one . “ I’ m s ur e n obody wa lks muc h f as te r t ha n I do! ”

“ He c an ’t d o t ha t, ” s ai d t he K in g, “ or e ls e h e’ d h av e b ee n h er e f ir st . H ow ev er , n ow y ou ’v e g ot y ou r

breath, you may tell us what’s happened in the town.”

“ I’ ll w hi sp er i t, ” s ai d t he M es se nge r, p ut ti ng h is h and s t o hi s m out h i n t he s ha pe o f a t ru mp et a nds too pi ng s o a s t o ge t c los e t o t he K ing ’s e ar . A li ce wa s s or ry f or t hi s, a s s he w an te d t o he ar t he ne ws

t oo . H ow ev er , i ns te ad o f w hi sp er in g, h e s im pl y s ho ut ed a t t he t op o f h is v oi ce . “ Th ey ’r e a t i t a ga in !”

“ Do y ou c al l t ha t a w hi spe r! ” c ri ed t he p oo r K ing , j um pi ng up a nd s ha ki ng h im se lf . “ If y ou do s uc h a

t hi ng again I ’l l h av e y ou b ut tered! I t w en t t hr ou gh and t hr ou gh m y h ead l ik e an ear th qu ak e! ”

“ It w ou ld h av e t o b e a v er y t in y e ar th qu ak e! ” t ho ug ht A li ce . “ Wh o a re a t i t a ga in ?” s he v en tu re d t o a sk .

“ Wh y t he L io n a nd t he U ni co rn o f c ou rs e, ”

“Fighting for the crown?

“ Ye s, t o be s ur e,” s ai d t he K in g; “ and t he be st of t he j ok e i s, t ha t i t’ s my c rown a ll t he whi le ! Le t’ s r un

a nd s ee t he m. ” An d t he y t rot te d of f, A li ce r epe at ing t o h er se lf , a s s he r an , t he w or ds of t he ol d s ong : - -

“The Lion and the Unicorn were fighting for the crown.’

The Lion beat the Unicorn all round the town.

Some gave them white bread and some gave them brown;

Some gave them plum-cake and drummed them out of town.”

“ Doe s - - the one - - that wins -- ge t the c rown? ” s he a ske d, as wel l a s she could, for the l ong r un wa s

putting her quite out of breath.

“ De ar m e, n o! ” s ai d t he K in g. “ Wh at a n i de a! ”

“ Wo ul d you - - be go od e no ugh - - - ” Al ic e pa nt ed ou t, a ft er r un ni ng a l it tl e f ur the r, “ to s top a mi nut e - -

just to get -- one’s breath again?”

“ I’ m go od e no ugh ,” t he K in g s ai d, “ onl y I ’m n ot s tr on g e no ugh . Y ou s ee , a m inu te g oe s b y s o f ea rf ul ly

q ui ck . Y ou m ig ht a s w el l t ry t o s to p a B an de rs na tc h! ”

A li ce h ad no m or e b re at h f or t al ki ng , s o t he y t ro tt ed o n i n s il en ce , t il l t he y c am e i n s ig ht of a g re at

c ro wd, i n t he m idd le o f w hi ch t he L ion a nd U ni cor n we re f ig ht in g. T he y we re i n s uc h a c lo ud o f du st , t ha t

a t f ir st A li ce c ou ld n ot m ak e o ut w hi ch w as w hi ch: bu t s he s oo n m an ag ed t o d is ti ng ui sh t he U ni cor n b y

his horn.

T hey p laced t hems el ves clo se t o w here H at ta, t he o th er M es seng er , w as s tand in g w at ch in g t he f ig ht ,



with a cup of te a in one hand and a piec e of bre ad a nd butt er in the other.

“ He ’s on ly j us t o ut o f p ri so n, a nd h e h adn ’t f in is he d h is t ea w he n h e w as s en t i n, ” H ai gh a w hi sp er ed t o

A li ce : “ an d t he y o nl y g iv e t he m o ys te r- sh el ls i n t he re - - s o y ou s ee h e’ s v er y h un gr y a nd t hi rs ty . H ow a re

y ou , d ear chi ld ?” h e w en t o n, p ut ti ng h is arm aff ecti on at el y r ou nd H at ta’s n eck.

H at ta l oo ke d r ou nd a nd n od de d, a nd w en t o n w it h h is b re ad -a nd -b ut te r.

“Were y ou h ap py i n p ri so n, d ear chi ld ?” s ai d H ai gh a.

H at ta l ook ed r oun d o nc e m or e, a nd t hi s t im e a t ea r or t wo t ri ck le d d ow n h is c he ek : b ut n ot a wo rd

w ou ld h e s ay .

“Sp eak, can ’t Y ou !” H ai gh a cri ed i mp at ient ly . B ut H at ta o nl y m un ch ed away, and d rank s om e m or e t ea.

“Sp eak, w on ’t y ou !” cri ed t he K in g. “Ho w are t hey g et ti ng o n w it h t he f ig ht ?”

H at ta m ad e a d es pe ra te e ff or t, a nd s wa ll ow ed a l ar ge p ie ce o f b re ad -a nd -b ut te r. “ Th ey ’r e g et ti ng o n

v er y w el l, ” h e s ai d i n a cho ki ng v oi ce: “each o f t hem h as b een d ow n abo ut eig ht y- seven t im es .”

“ Th en I s up po se t he y’ ll s oo n b ri ng t he w hi te b re ad a nd t he b ro wn ?” A li ce v en tu re d t o r em ar k.

“ It ’s w ai ti ng f or ‘ em no w, ” s ai d H at ta : “ thi s i s a b it o f i t a s I ’m e at ing .”

T he re w as a p au se i n t he f ig ht j us t t he n, a nd t he L io n a nd t he U ni co rn s at d ow n, p an ti ng , w hi le t he K in g

cal led o ut “Ten m in ut es all ow ed f or r ef resh ment s! ” H ai gh a and H at ta s et t o w or k at o nce, car ry in g r ou nd

t ra ys of wh it e a nd b ro wn b re ad . A li ce t ook a p ie ce t o t as te , b ut i t w as ve ry dr y.

“ I d on ’t t hi nk t he y’ ll f ig ht a ny m or e t o- da y, ” t he K in g s ai d t o H at ta : “ go a nd o rd er t he d ru ms t o b eg in. ”

A nd H at ta w en t b ou nd in g away l ik e a “gr as s ho pp er .



F or a m in ut e o r t wo A li ce s to od s il en tl y w at ch in g h im . s ud denl y s he b ri gh tened u p l oo k, l oo k! ” s he

cri ed , p oi nt in g eag er ly . “Th er e’ s t he W hi te Q ueen r un ni ng acr os s t he cou nt ry ! S he cam e f ly in g o ut o f t he

w ood o ve r y ond er - - h ow f as t t ho se Q ue en s c an r un !”

“Th er e’ s s om e enemy aft er h er , n o d ou bt ,” t he K in g s ai d, w it ho ut even l oo ki ng r ou nd . “Th at w oo d’ s f ul l

of them.”

“ Bu t a re n’ t yo u g oi ng t o r un a nd he lp he r? ” A li ce a ske d, v er y m uc h s ur pr is ed a t h is t aki ng i t s o qu ie tl y.

“ No us e, no us e! ” s ai d t he Ki ng. “ She r uns s o f ea rf ul ly qui ck. You m ight a s we ll t ry t o c atc h a

B an de rs na tc h! B ut I ’l l m ak e a m em or an du m a bo ut h er , i f y ou l ik e - - s he ’s a d ea r g oo d c re at ur e, ” h e

r ep eated s of tl y t o h im self , as h e o pened h is m em or an du m- bo ok . “Do y ou s pell “cr eatu re’ w it h a d ou bl e

‘e’?”

A t t hi s m om en t t he U ni co rn s au nt er ed by t he m, w it h h is h an ds i n h is p oc ke ts . “ I h ad t he b es t o f i t t hi s

t im e! ” h e s ai d t o t he K in g, j us t gl an ci ng a t h im a s h e p as se d.

“A l it tl e - - a l it tl e, ” t he K in g r ep li ed , r at her n er vo us ly . “Yo u s ho ul dn ’t h av e r un h im t hr ou gh w it h y ou r

horn, you know.”

“ It d id n’ t h ur t h im ” t he U ni co rn s ai d c ar el es sl y, a nd h e w as go in g o n, w he n hi s e ye h app en ed t o f al l u po n

A li ce : h e t ur ne d r ou nd i ns ta nt ly , a nd s to od f or s om e t im e l oo ki ng a t h er w it h a n a ir o f t he d ee pe st

disgust.

“ What -- i s - - this ?” he s ai d at l as t.

“Th is i s a chi ld !” H ai gh a r ep li ed eag er ly , com in g i n f ro nt o f A li ce t o i nt ro du ce h er , and s pr eadi ng o ut both his hands towards her in an Anglo-Saxon attitude. “We only found it to-day. It’s as large as life, and

twice as natural!”

“I alw ay s t ho ug ht t hey w er e f ab ul ou s m on st er s! ” s ai d t he U ni co rn . “Is i t ali ve?”

“It can talk,” said Haigha, solemnly.

T he u ni co rn l oo ked d ream il y at A li ce, and s ai d, chi ld .”

A li ce c ou ld no t he lp h er l ip s c ur li ng up i nt o a s mi le a s s he b ega n: “ Do y ou k no w, I a lw ay s t hou ghtU ni co rn s w er e f ab ul ou s m on st er s, t oo ! I n ev er s aw o ne ali ve b ef or e! ”

“ We ll , n ow t ha t w e h ave s ee n e ac h ot he r, ” s ai d T he U ni cor n, “ if y ou ’l l b el ie ve i n m e, I ’l l b el ie ve i n yo u.

I s t ha t a b ar ga in ?



“ Wha t a f igh t w e m ig ht h av e f or t he c row n, no w! ” t he U ni co rn s ai d, l oo ki ng s ly ly u p a t t he c ro wn , w hi ch

t he p oo r K in g w as n ea rl y s ha ki ng o ff h is h ea d, h e t re mb le d s o m uc h.

“ I s hou ld w in e as y, ” s ai d t he L ion .

“ I’ m n ot s o s ur e o f t ha t, ” s ai d t he U ni co rn .

“ Wh y, I b ea t y ou a ll r ou nd t he t ow n, y ou c hi ck en !” t he L io n r ep li ed a ng ri ly , h al f g et ti ng u p a s h e s po ke .

H er e t he k in g i nt er ru pt ed , t o p re ve nt t he q ua rr el g oi ng o n: h e w as v er y n er vo us , a nd h is v oi ce q ui te

qui ve re d. “ Al i r ound t he t own? ” he s ai d. “ Tha t’ s a good l ong w ay. Di d yo u go by t he ol d br idge , or t he

m ar ke t- pl ac e? Y ou ge t t he be st vi ew by t he ol d b ri dge a s he l ay d ow n a ga in . “ Th er e wa s t oo muc h d us t

t o s ee a ny th in g. W ha t a t im e t he M on st er i s, c ut ti ng u p t ha t c ak e! ”

Al ic e ha d s ea te d h er se lf o n t he b ank of a l it tl e br ook , w it h t he gr ea t d is h o n he r k ne es ’, a nd w er e a s

provoking!” she said, in reply to the Lion (she was getting quite used to being called “the Monster)”.

“I’ ve cut o ff s ev er al s li ces alr eady , b ut t hey alw ay s j oi n o n again !”

“Yo u d on ’t k no w h ow t o m an ag e L oo ki ng -g lass cakes, ” t he U ni co rn r em ar ked. “Hand i t r ou nd f ir st ,

and cut i t aft erw ar ds .”

T hi s s ou nd ed n on se ns e, b ut A li ce v er y o be di en tl y g ot u p, a nd c ar ri ed t he d is h r ou nd , a nd t he c ak e

di vi de d i ts el f i nt o t hr ee pi ec es a s s he di d s o. “ Now c ut i t u p,” s ai d t he Li on, a s s he r et ur ne d t o he r pl ac e

w it h t he emp ty d is h.

“ I s ay , t hi s i sn ’t f ai r! ” c ri ed t he Un ic or n, a s Al ic e s at w it h t he kn if e i n h er ha nd, v er y m uc h p uz zl ed ho w



t o b eg in . “ Th e M on st er ha s g iv en t he L io n t wi ce a s m uc h a s m e! ”

“Sh e’ s k ep t n on e f or h er self , any ho w, ” s ai d t he L io n. “Do y ou l ik e p lu m- cake, M on st er ?”

B ut b ef or e A li ce cou ld ans wer h im t he d ru ms b eg an .

W he re t he n oi se c am e f ro m s he c ou ld n’ t m ak e o ut : t he a ir s ee me d f ul l o f i t, a nd i t r an g t hr ou gh S hes ta rt ed t o h er f ee t, a nd s pr ang a cr os s t he l it tl e br ook i n h er t er ror , a nd h ad j us t t im e t o s ee t he Li on a nd

t he U ni co rn r is e t o t he ir f ee t, w it h a ng ry l oo ks a t b ei ng i nt er ru pt ed i n t he ir f ea st , b ef or e s he d ro pp ed t o

h er k ne es a nd p ut h er h an ds o ve r h er e ar s, v ai nl y t ry in g t o s hu t o ut t he d re ad fu l u pr oa r.

“If t hat d oesn ’t d ru m t hem o ut o f t ow n, ’ “ s he t ho ug ht t o h er self , “no th in g ever w il l! ”

“It’s my own Invention”A FT ER a w hi le t he n oi se s ee me d gr ad ua ll y t o d ie a wa y, t il l a ll w as d ea d s il en ce , a nd A li ce l if te d u p h er

he ad i n s ome a la rm . Th er e wa s no on e t o be s ee n, a nd h er f ir st t hough t w as t ha t s he m us t ha ve be en

d reami ng abo ut t he L io n and t he U ni co rn and t ho se q ueer A ng lo -S ax on M es seng er s, h ow ev er , t here

wa s t he gre at d is h s ti ll l yi ng a t he r f ee t, on wh ic h s he ha d t ri ed t o c ut t he plum -c ake ’ “ So I w as n’ t

d re am in g, a ft er a ll .” s he s ai d t o h er se lf , “ un le ss - - u nl es s w e’ re a ll p ar t o f t he s am e d re am . O nl y I d o

h op e i t’ s m y d re am a nd n ot t he R ed K in g’ s! I d on ’t l ik e b el on gi ng t o a no th er p er so n’ s d re am ,” s he w en t

o n i n a r at he r c om pl ai ni ng t on e: “ I’ ve a g re at m in d t o g o a nd w ak e h im , a nd s ee w ha t h ap pe ns !”

A t t hi s m om en t h er t ho ug ht s w er e i nt er ru pt ed by a l ou d s hou ti ng o f “ Ah oy ! A ho y! C he ck !” a nd aK ni gh t, d ress ed i n cri ms on arm ou r, cam e g al lo pi ng d ow n u po n h er , b rand is hi ng a g reat clu b. j us t as h e

r each ed h er , t he h or se s to pp ed s ud denl y: “Yo u’ re m y p ri so ner! ” t he K ni gh t cri ed , as h e t um bl ed o ff h is

horse.

S ta rt le d a s s he w as , A li ce w as m or e f ri gh te ne d f or h im t ha n f or h er se lf a t t he m om en t, a nd w at ch ed h im

w it h s om e a nx ie ty a s h e m ou nt ed a ga in . A s s oo n a s h e w as c om fo rt ab ly i n t he s ad dl e, h e b eg an o nc e

m or e, “ Yo u’ re m y - - - ” b ut h er e a no th er v oi ce b ro ke i n, “ Ah oy ! A ho y! C he ck !” a nd A li ce l oo ke d r ou nd

i n s om e s ur pr is e f or t he n ew e ne my .

Th is t im e i t wa s a Whi te K ni ght . He dr ew up a t Al ic e’ s s ide , a nd t umbl ed of f hi s hor se j us t a s t he R edK ni gh t h ad d on e: t he n h e g ot o n a ga in , a nd t he t wo K ni gh ts s at a nd l oo ke d a t e ac h o th er w it ho ut

s peak in g. A li ce l oo ked f ro m o ne t o t he o th er i n s om e b ew il derm en t.

“Sh e’ s m y p ri so ner, y ou k no w! ” t he R ed -K ni gh t s ai d at l as t.

“ Ye s, b ut t he n I c am e a nd r es cu ed h er !” t he W hi te K ni gh t r ep li ed .

“ We ll , w e m us t f igh t f or he r, t he n, ” s ai d t he Re d K ni gh t, a s h e t oo k u p hi s h el me t ( wh ic h h ung f rom t he

s add le , a nd w as s ome th in g t he s ha pe of a ho rs e’ s h ea d) , a nd p ut i t on .

“Yo u w il l o bs er ve t he R ul es o f B at tl e, o f cou rs e?” t he W hi te K ni gh t r em ar ked, p ut ti ng o n h is h el met t oo .

“ I a lw ay s d o, ” s ai d t he R ed K ni gh t, a nd t he y b eg an b an gi ng a wa y a t e ac h o th er w it h s uc h f ur y t ha t A li ce



got behind a t ree to be out of the way of t he blows.

“ I w on de r, n ow , w ha t t he R ul es o f B at tl e a re ,” s he s ai d t o h er se lf , a s s he w at ch ed t he f ig ht , t im id ly peeping out from her hiding-place: “one Rule seems to be that, if one Knight hits the other, he knocks him

o ff h is h or se , a nd i f h e m is se s, h e t um bl es o ff -h im se lf - - a nd a no th er R ul e s ee ms t o b e t ha t t he y h ol d t he ir

c lu bs i n t he ir a rm s, a s i f t he y w er e P un ch a nd J ud y. W ha t a n oi se t he y m ak e w he n t he y t um bl e! J us t l ik e

f ir e- ir on s f al li ng i nt o t he f end er ! A nd h ow q ui et t he h or se s a re ! Th ey l et t he m ge t on a nd o ff t he m j us t a s i f

t hey w er e t ab les! ”

A no th er R ul e o f B at tl e, t ha t A li ce h ad n ot n ot ic ed , s ee me d t o b e t ha t t he y a lw ay s f el l o n t he ir h ea ds , a nd

t he ba tt le e nde d w it h t he ir b ot h f al li ng of f i n t hi s w ay , s id e b y s ide : wh en t he y g ot up a ga in, t he y s ho ok

h an ds , and t hen t he R ed K ni gh t m ou nt ed and g al lo ped o ff .

“ It w as a g lo ri ou s v ic to ry , w as n’ t i t? ” s ai d t he W hi te K ni gh t, a s h e c am e u p p an ti ng .

“ I d on ’t k no w, ” A li ce s ai d d ou bt fu ll y. “ I d on ’t w an t t o b e a ny bo dy ’s p ri so ne r. I w an t t o b e Q ue en .”

“ So y ou w il l, w he n y ou ’v e c ro ss ed t he n ex t b ro ok ,” s ai d t he W hi te K ni gh t. “ I’ ll s ee y ou s af e t o t he e nd

of the wood - - and then I mus t go ba ck, you know. That’ s the end of my move .”

“Th an k y ou v er y m uch, ” s ai d A li ce. “May I h el p y ou o ff w it h y ou r h el met?” I t w as evi dent ly m or e t han

h e c ou ld m an age b y h im se lf ; ho we ve r s he m an ag ed t o s ha ke h im ou t o f i t a t l as t.

“ No w o ne c an b re at he m or e e as il y, ” s ai d t he K ni gh t, p ut ti ng b ac k h is s ha gg y h ai r w it h b ot h h an ds , a nd

t ur ni ng h is g en tl e f ac e a nd l ar ge m il d e ye s t o A li ce . S he t ho ug ht s he h ad ne ve r s ee n s uc h a

s tr an ge-l oo ki ng s ol di er i n all h er l if e. H e w as d ress ed i n t in arm ou r, w hi ch s eemed t o f it h im v er y b ad ly ,



a nd h e h ad a q ue er l it tl e d ea l b ox f as te ne d a cr os s h is s ho ul de rs u ps id e- do wn , a nd w it h t he l id h an gi ng

o pen. A li ce l oo ked at i t w it h g reat cur io si ty .

“ I s ee y ou ’r e a dm ir ing m y l it tl e b ox ,” t he K ni gh t s ai d i n a f ri en dl y t on e. “ It ’s m y ow n i nv en ti on - - t o k ee p

c lo th es a nd s an dw ic he s i n. Y ou s ee I c ar ry i t u ps id e- do wn , s o t ha t t he r ai n c an ’t g et i n. ”

“Bu t t he t hi ng s can g et o ut ,” A li ce g en tl y r em ar ked. “Do y ou k no w t he l id ’s o pen?”

“ I d id n’ t k no w i t, ” t he K ni gh t s ai d, a s ha de o f v exa ti on p as si ng o ve r hi s f ac e. “ Th en a ll t he t hi ng s m us t

ha ve f al le n out ! And the box i s no u se wi thout t he m.” H e unf as ten ed i t a s he s poke , a nd wa s j us t goi ng to

t hr ow i t int o t he bus he s, whe n a s udde n t hough t s ee me d t o s tri ke , a nd he hung i t c ar ef ull y on a t re e.

“ Ca n you gue ss why I d id tha t! ” he sa id to Al ice .

Al ic e s hoo k he r he ad. “ In hop es s om e be es ma y m ak e a n es t i n i t - - t he n I s hou ld ge t t he h one y. ”

“ Bu t y ou ’v e g ot a b ee -h iv e - - o r s om et hi ng l ik e o ne - - f as te ne d t o t he s ad dl e, ” s ai d A li ce .

“ Ye s, i t’ s a ve ry go od be e- hi ve ,” t he K ni ght s ai d i n a di sc ont en te d t on e, “ one of t he be st ki nd. B ut not a

s ingl e be e h as c om e ne ar i t ye t. A nd t he o the r t hi ng i s a m ous e- tr ap. I s up po se t he mi ce ke ep t he be es

out - - or the be es ke ep t he mi ce out , I don’t know whic h.”

“ I w as w on de ri ng w ha t t he m ou se -t ra p w as f or ,” s ai d A li ce . “ It i sn ’t v er y l ik el y t he re w ou ld b e a ny m ic e

o n t he h or se ’s b ac k. ”

“ No t v er y l ik el y, p er ha ps ,” s ai d t he K ni gh t; “ bu t i f t he y do c om e, I d on ’t c ho os e t o h av e t he m r unn in g a ll

about.”

“ Yo u s ee ,” h e w ent on a ft er a pa us e, “ it ’s a s we ll t o be pr ovi de d f or e ve ry thi ng. Th at ’s t he r ea son t heh or se h as ank lets r ou nd h is f eet. ”

“ Bu t w ha t a re t he y f or ?” A li ce a sk ed i n a t on e o f g re at c ur io si ty .

“ To gu ar d a ga in st t he b it es of s ha rk s, ” t he K ni gh t r ep li ed . “ It ’s a n i nv en ti on of m y o wn . A nd n ow he lp

me on. I’ll go with you t o the e nd of the wood -- what’s that dish for?”

“It ’s m eant f or p lu m- cake,” s ai d A li ce.

“ We ’d b et te r t ak e i t w it h u s, ” t he K ni gh t s ai d.

“ It ’l l c om e i n ha nd y i f w e f in d a ny pl um -c ake . H el p m e t o ge t i t i nt o t hi s ba g. ”

T hi s t oo k a l on g t im e t o m an ag e, t ho ug h A li ce h el d t he b ag o pe n v er y c ar ef ul ly , b ec au se t he K ni gh t w as

s o ve ry a wk wa rd i n p ut ti ng i n t he di sh : t he f ir st t wo or t hr ee t im es t ha t he t ri ed he f el l i n h im se lf i ns te ad .

“ It ’s r at he r a ti ght f it , you s ee ,” he s ai d, a s t he y got i t i n a t la st ; “ the re a re s o m any c andl es tic ks in t he

bag.” And he hung it to the saddle, which was already loaded with bunches of carrots, and fire-irons, and

many other things.

“ I h op e y ou ’v e g ot y ou h ai r w el l f as te ne d o n? ” h e c on ti nu ed , a s t he y s et o ff .



“Only in the usual way,” Alice said, smiling.

“ Th at ’s h ar dl y e no ug h, ” h e s ai d, a nx io us ly . “ Yo u s ee t he w in d i s s o v er y s tr on g h er e. I t’ s a s s tr on g a s

soup.”

“Have y ou i nv en ted a p lan f or k eepi ng o ne’s h ai r f ro m b ei ng b lo wn o ff ?” A li ce enq ui red.

“ No t ye t, ” s ai d t he K ni ght . “ Bu t I ’v e go t a p la n f or k ee pi ng i t f ro m f al li ng o ff .”

“ I s hou ld l ik e t o he ar i t ve ry m uc h. ”

“ Fi rs t y ou t ak e a n u pr ig ht s ti ck ,” s ai d t he K ni gh t. “ Th en y ou m ak e y ou r h ai r c re ep u p i t, L ik e a f ru it -t re e.

Now the reason hair falls off is because it hangs down -- things never fall upwards, you know. It’s my

o wn i nv en ti on . Y ou m ay t ry i t i f y ou l ik e. ”

I t d id n’ t s oun d a c om fo rt ab le p la n, A li ce t ho ugh t, a nd f or a f ew m inu te s s he w al ke d o n i n s il en ce ,

puzzling over the idea, and every now and then stopping to help the poor Knight, who certainly was not a

g oo d r i der .

W he ne ve r t he h or se s to pp ed ( wh ic h i t d id v er y of te n) , h e f el l of f i n f ro nt ; a nd w he ne ve r i t w en t o n a ga in

( wh ich i t g en er al ly d id r at her s ud denl y) , h e f el l o ff b eh in d. O th er wi se h e k ep t o n p rett y w el l, excep t t hat

h e h ad a h ab it o f n ow a nd t he n f al li ng of f s id ew ay s; a nd a s he g en er al ly d id t hi s o n t he s id e on w hi ch

Al ic e w as wa lki ng, s he s oo n f ound t ha t i t w as t he be st pl an not t o wa lk qu it e c los e t o t he h or se .

“ I’ m a fr ai d y ou’ ve n ot h ad m uc h p ra ct ic e i n r id in g, ” s he v ent ur ed t o s ay, a s s he wa s he lpi ng h im u p f ro m

his fifth tumble.



T he K ni gh t l oo ke d v er y m uc h s ur pr is ed , a nd a l it tl e o ff en de d a t t he r em ar k. “ Wh at m ak es y ou s ay t ha t? ”

he a ske d, a s he s cr am bl ed ba ck i nt o t he s add le , k ee pi ng h ol d o f Al ic e’ s h ai r w it h o ne ha nd , t o s ave

h im self f ro m f al li ng o ver o n t he o th er s id e “Becaus e p eo pl e d on ’t f al l o ff q ui te s o o ft en , w hen t hey’ ve h ad

much practice.”

“I’ ve h ad p lent y o f p ract ice, ” t he K ni gh t s ai d v er y g ravely : “pl en ty o f p ract ice! ”

A li ce c ou ld t hi nk o f n ot hi ng b et te r t o s ay t ha n “ In de ed ?” b ut s he s ai d i t a s h ea rt il y a s s he c ou ld . T he y

w en t o n a l it tl e w ay i n s il en ce aft er t hi s, t he K ni gh t w it h h is eyes s hu t, m ut teri ng t o h im self , and A li ce

watching anxiously for the next tumble.

“ Th e gr ea t a rt o f r id in g,” t he K ni gh t s ud de nl y be ga n i n a l oud v oi ce , w av ing h is r igh t a rm a s he s po ke “ is

t o ke ep - - “ H er e t he s ent enc e e nde d a s s udde nl y a s i t ha d be gu n, a s t he Kn ight f el l h ea vi ly on t he t op of

h is h ea d e xa ct ly i n t he p at h w he re A li ce w as w al ki ng . S he w as q ui te f ri gh te ne d t hi s t im e, a nd s ai d i n a n

a nxi ou s t one , a s s he pi ck ed h im up , “ I ho pe n o b on es a re b rok en ?”

“ None t o s pe ak of ,” t he Kni ght s ai d, a s i f he di dn’ t mi nd br ea ki ng t wo or t hr ee o f t he m. “ The gr ea t a rtof riding as I wa s s ayi ng is -- to kee p your ba lance . Like this , you know -- -”

He l et go t he br idle , a nd s tr et ched out bot h hi s a rms t o s how Al ic e wha t he me ant , a nd t hi s t ime he f ell

f la t o n h is b ac k, r ig ht u nd er t he h or se ’s f ee t.

“Pl en ty o f p ract ice! ” h e w en t o n r ep eati ng , all t he t im e t hat A li ce w as g et ti ng h im o n h is f eet again .

“Plenty of practice!”

“ It ’s t oo r id ic ul ou s! ” c ri ed A li ce , g et ti ng q ui te o ut o f p at ie nc e. “ Yo u o ug ht t o h av e a w oo de n h or se o n

wheels, that you ought!”

“ Do es t ha t k in d g o s mo ot hl y? ” t he K ni gh t a sk ed i n a t on e o f g re at i nt er es t, c la sp in g h is a rm s r ou nd t he

h or se s’ ne ck a s h e s po ke , j us t i n t im e t o s ave hi ms el f f rom t um bl ing o ff a ga in.

“ Mu ch m or e s mo ot hl y t ha n a l iv e h or se ,” Al ic e s ai d, wi th a l it tl e s cr ea m o f l aug ht er , i n s pi te o f a ll s he

c oul d d o t o pr ev ent i t.

“I’ ll g et o ne,” t he K ni gh t s ai d t ho ug ht fu ll y t o h im self . “On e o r t wo - - s ev er al .”

T he re w as a s hor t s il en ce a ft er t hi s; t he n t he n ig ht w en t o n a ga in . “ I’ m a g re at h an d a t i nve nt ing t hi ng s.

Now, I daresay you noticed, the last time you picked me up, that I was looking thoughtful?”

“Yo u w er e a l it tl e g rave,” s ai d A li ce.

“ We ll , j ust t he n I wa s i nve nt ing a new wa y of get ti ng ove r a ga te -- woul d you l ike t o he ar i t? ”

“Very much indeed,” Alice said politely.

“ I’ ll t el l y ou h ow I c am e t o t hi nk of i t, ” s ai d t he K ni ght . “ Yo u s ee , I s ai d t o my se lf , “ The o nl y di ff ic ul ty i s

wi th t he f ee t: t he he ad i s hi gh e nou gh a lr ea dy .’ N ow, f ir st I put m y he ad on t he t op of t he ga te - - t he n t he

he ad’ s hi gh e no ugh - - t he n I s ta nd o n my h ea d - - t he n t he f ee t a re h igh e noug h, y ou s ee - - t he n I ’m ov er

y ou s ee.”

“ Ye s, I s up po se y ou’ d b e o ve r w he n t ha t w as d on e, ” A li ce s ai d t ho ug ht fu ll y: “ bu t d on ’t y ou t hi nk i t



w ou ld b e r at her h ar d?”

“ I h ave n’ t t ri ed i t ye t,” t he Kni ght s ai d, gr ave ly, “ so I c an’ t t el l f or c er ta in - - but I ’m a fr aid i t woul d be a

little hard.”

H e l oo ke d s o v ex ed a t t he i de a, t ha t A li ce c ha ng ed t he s ub je ct h as ti ly . “ Wh at a c ur io us h el me t y ou ’v e

got!” she said cheerfully. “Is that your invention too?”

T he K ni gh t l oo ke d do wn p ro ud ly a t h is he lm et w hi ch h un g f ro m t he s ad dl e. “ Ye s, ” h e s ai d, “ bu t I ’v e

i nve nt ed a be tt er o ne t ha n t ha t - - l ike a s ug ar l oa f. W he n I us ed t o w ea r i t, i f I f el l o ff t he hor se , i t a lw ays

t ou ch ed t he g ro un d d ir ec tl y. S o I h ad v er y l it tl e w ay t o f al l, y ou s ee - - b ut t he re w as t he d an ge r o f f al li ng

into it , to be sure . Tha t happe ne d to me onc e - - and the wors t of it wa s, bef ore I could ge t out agai n, t he

o th er W hi te K ni gh t c am e a nd p ut i t o n. H e t ho ug ht i t w as h is o wn he lm et .”

T he K ni gh t l oo ke d s o s ol em n a bo ut i t t ha t A li ce d id n ot d ar e t o l aug h. “ I’ m a fr ai d y ou m us t h av e h ur t

h im ,” s he s ai d i n a t re mbl in g v oi ce , “ be ing on t he t op o f h is he ad .”

“ I h ad t o k ic k h im , o f c ou rs e, ” t he K ni gh t s ai d v er y s er io us ly . “ An d t he n h e t oo k t he h el me t o ff a ga in - -

but it took hours and hours to get me out. I was as fast as -- as lightning, you know.”

“Bu t t hat’ s a d if ferent k in d o f f as tn es s, ” A li ce o bj ected.

T he K ni ght s hook h is he ad. “ It wa s a ll ki nds of f as tne ss wi th me , I c an a ss ure you! ” he s ai d. He r ai se d

h is h an ds i n s om e e xc it em ent a s h e s ai d t hi s, a nd i ns ta nt ly r ol le d o ut o f t he s ad dl e, a nd f el l h ea dl on g i nt o a

d eep d i tch .

A li ce r an t o t he s ide o f t he di tc h t o l ook f or hi m. S he w as r at he r s ta rt le d by t he f al l, a s f or s ome t im e he

h ad k ep t o n v er y w el l, a nd s he w as a fr ai d t ha t h e r ea ll y w as h ur t t hi s t im e. H ow ev er , t ho ug h s he c ou lds ee n ot hi ng b ut t he s ol es o f h is f ee t, s he w as he w as t al ki ng o n i n h is u su al t one . “ Al l k in ds o f f as tn es s, ”

he r epe at ed: “ but i t wa s c ar el es s of hi m t o put a not he r m an’ s he lme t on - - wi th t he m an i n i t, t oo.”

“ Ho w c an y ou g o o n t al ki ng s o q ui et ly , h ea d d ow nw ar ds ?” A li ce a sk ed , a s s he d ra gg ed h im o ut b y t he

f ee t, a nd l ai d hi m in a he ap on t he ba nk.



T he K ni gh t l oo ke d s ur pr is ed a t t he q ue st io n. “ Wh at d oe s i t m at te r w he re m y b od y h ap pe ns t o b e? ” h e

s ai d. “ My m ind g oe s o n wo rki ng a ll t he s ame . I n f ac t, t he mo re he ad- do wn wa rds I a m, t he m or e I ke ep

inventing new things.”

“ No w t he c le ve re st t hi ng t ha t I e ve r d id ,” h e w en t o n a ft er a p au se , “ wa s i nv en ti ng a n ew p ud di ng d ur in g

the meat-course.”

“ In t im e t o h av e i t c oo ke d f or t he n ex t c ou rs e? ” s ai d A li ce . “ We ll , t ha t w as q ui ck w or k, c er ta in ly .”

“Well , n ot t he n ex t cou rs e, ” t he K ni gh t s ai d i n a s lo w t ho ug ht fu l t on e: “no , cer tain ly n ot t he n ex t cou rs e. “

“ Th en i t w ou ld h av e, t o b e t he n ex t d ay . I s up po se y ou w ou ld n’ t h av e t wo p ud di ng -c ou rs es i n o ne

dinner?”

“ We ll , n ot t he n ex t d ay ,” t he K ni gh t r ep ea te d a s b ef or e: “ no t t he n ex t d ay . I n f ac t, ” h e w en t o n, h ol di ng

h is h ea d d ow n, a nd h is v oi ce g et ti ng l ow er a nd l ow er , “ I d on ’t b el ie ve t ha t p ud di ng e ve r w as c oo ke d! I nf ac t, I d on ’t b el ie ve t ha t p ud di ng e ve r w il l b e c oo ke d! A nd y et i t w as a v er y c le ve r p ud di ng t o i nv en t. ”

“ Wha t di d yo u m ea n i t t o be ma de of ?” Al ic e a ske d, hopi ng t o c he er h im u p, f or he s ee me d qui te

low-spirited about it.

“It b eg an w it h b lo tt in g- paper, ” t he K ni gh t ans wered w it h a g ro an .

“ Th at w ou ld n’ t b e v er y n ic e, I ’m a fr ai d - - - ”

“No t v er y n ice alo ne,” h e i nt er ru pt ed , q ui te eag er ly : “bu t y ou ’v e n o i dea w hat a d if ference i t m ak es ,

m ix in g i t w it h o th er t hi ng s - - s uch as g un po wd er and s eali ng -w ax . A nd h er e I m us t l eave y ou .” A li cecou ld o nl y l oo k p uzzl ed : s he w as t hi nk in g o f t he p ud di ng .

“ You a re s ad ,” t he K ni ght s ai d i n a n a nx iou s t on e: “ le t m e s in g y ou a s on g t o c om for t yo u. ”

“ Is i t ve ry l on g? ” Al ic e a ske d, f or s he ha d he ar d a goo d de al o f p oe tr y t ha t d ay .

“It ’s l on g, ” s ai d t he K ni gh t, “bu t i t’ s v er y, v er y b eaut if ul . E very bo dy t hat h ears m e s in g i t - - eit her i t

brings the tears into their eyes, or else -- -”

“ Or e ls e w ha t? ” s ai d A li ce , f or t he K ni gh t h ad m ad e a s ud de n p au se .

“ Or e ls e i t do es n’ t, you k now . T he n am e o f t he s ong i s c al le d ‘ Ha dd oc ks ’ Ey es .’ “

“ Oh , t ha t’ s t he n am e o f t he s on g, i s i t? ” A li ce s ai d, t ryi ng t o f ee l i nt er es te d.

“No , y ou d on ’t u nd er st an d, ” t he K ni gh t s ai d, l oo ki ng a l it tl e v ex ed . “Th at ’s w hat t he n am e i s cal led. T he

n am e r ea ll y i s ‘ Th e A ge d A ge d M an .’ “

“ Th en I o ug ht t o h av e s ai d, ‘ Th at ’s w ha t t he s on g i s c al le d’ ?” A li ce c or re ct ed h er se lf .

“No , y ou o ug ht n’ t: t hat’ s ano th er t hi ng . T he s on g i s cal led ‘ Ways and M eans ’: b ut t hat’ s o nl y w hat i t’ s

called, you know!”



“Well , w hat i s t he s on g, t hen?” s ai d A li ce, w ho w as b y t hi s t im e com pl et el y b ew il dered.

“ I w as c om ing t o t ha t, ” t he K ni gh t s ai d. “ Th e s on g r ea ll y i s ‘ A s it ti ng o n a G at e’ : a nd t he t une ’s m y o wn

invention.”

S o s ayi ng , h e s to pp ed hi s h or se a nd l et t he r ei ns f al l o n i ts n ec k: t he n, s lo wl y b ea ti ng t im e w it h o ne h an d,

and w it h a f ai nt s mi le l ig ht in g u p h is g en tl e, f oo li sh f ace, h e b eg an .

O f a ll t he s tr an ge t hi ng s t ha t A li ce s aw i n he r j ou rn ey T hr oug h t he L oo ki ng -g la ss , t hi s w as t he on e t ha t

s he a lw ay s r em em be re d m os t c le ar ly . Y ea rs a ft er wa rd s s he c ou ld b ri ng t he w ho le s ce ne b ac k a ga in , a s i f

i t h ad b ee n on ly y es te rda y - - t he m il d b lu e e ye s a nd k in dl y s mi le o f t he K ni gh t - - t he s et ti ng s un g le am in g

t hr oug h h is ha ir , a nd s hi ni ng on hi s a rmo ur i n a bl az e of l ig ht t ha t q ui te d az zl ed he r - - t he ho rs e qu ie tl y

m ov in g a bo ut , w it h t he r ei ns h an gi ng l oo se o n h is n ec k, c ro pp in g t he g ra ss a t h er f ee t - - a nd t he b la ck

s ha dows of t he f or es t be hi nd - - a ll t hi s s he t oo k i n l ike a pi ct ur e, a s, wi th on e h and s ha di ng he r e ye s, s he

l eant again st a t ree, w at ch in g t he s tr an ge p ai r, and l is teni ng , i n a h al f- dr eam, t o t he m el an ch ol y m us ic o f

the song.

“ Bu t t he t un e i sn ’t hi s o wn i nve nt io n, ” s he s ai d t o h er se lf : “ it ’s “ I gi ve t he e a ll , I c an no m or e. ‘ ” S he

s to od a nd l is te ne d v er y a tt en ti ve ly , b ut n o t ea rs c am e i nt o h er e ye s.

“ I’ ll t el l t he e e ve ry th in g I c an ;

T he re ’ s l i tt le t o r e la te .

I saw ‘n aged aged man,

A-sitting on a gate.

‘ Who ar e y ou, age d man?’ I s ai d.

‘And how is it y ou live?’

A n d h i s a n s w er t r i ckl ed t h r o ug h my h ead

Like water through a sieve.

H e s ai d ‘ I l oo k f or b ut te rf li es

That sleep among the wheat:

I make them into mutton pies,

And sell them in the street.



I s el l t he m u nt o m en, ’ h e s ai d,

‘ Wh o s ai l o n s to rm y s ea s;

And that’s the way I get my bread --

A t ri fl e, i f y ou p le as e. ’

But I was thinking of a plan

T o d ye o ne ’s w hi sk er s g re en ,

And always us e s o large a fan

That they could not be seen.

So, having no reply to give

To what the old man said,

I c ri ed ‘ Com e, t el l me how y ou l iv e!’

And thumped him on the head.

Hi s ac ce nt s m il d t oo k up t he t al e:

He said, ‘I go my ways,

A nd w he n I f in d a m ou nt ai n- ri ll ,

I set it in a blaze;

And thence they make a stuff they call

R ow la nd ’s M ac as s ar O il - -

Y e t t w op e nc e -h al f pe n ny i s a l l,

They give me for my toil.’



But I was thinking of a way

To feed oneself on batter,

And so go on from day to day

G et t i n g a l i t t l e f a t t er .

I s hook him we ll from side to side,

U nt il hi s f ac e wa s b lue :

‘ Com e, t el l m e how y ou l iv e, ’ I c ri ed,

‘ And w hat i t is y ou do.! ’

He s ai d ‘ I h unt f or h add oc k e ye s

Among the heather bright,

And work them into waistcoat-buttons

I n t he s il en t n ig ht .

And these I do not sell for gold

o r c oi n o f s il ve ry s hi ne ,



but for a copper halfpenny,

A nd t ha t w il l p ur ch as e n in e.

‘ I s om et im es d ig f or b ut te re d r ol ls ,

O r s et l im ed t wi gs f or c rabs ;

I s om et im es s ea rc h t he g ra ss y k no ll s

F or w he e ls o f h an so m- ca bs .

And that’s the way’ (he gave a wink)

By which I get my wealth --

A nd v er y g ladl y wi ll I dr ink

Y ou r H on ou r’ s n ob le h ea l th .’

I heard him then, for I had just

Completed my design

To keep the Menai bridge from rust

B y bo il in g i t i n w in e.

I thanked him much for telling me

The way he got his wealth,

But c hi ef ly f or h is wi sh t ha t he

M ig ht d ri nk m y n ob le h ea lt h.

And now, if e’e r by chance I put

M y f in ge rs i nt o g lu e,



O r m ad ly s qu ee ze a r ig ht -h an d f oo t

Into a left-hand shoe,

Or if I dr op upon my toe

A ver y h ea vy w ei g h t ,

I we ep, for it reminds me so

Of that old man I used to know –

W ho se l oo k w as m il d, w ho se s pe ec h w as s lo w,

W h os e ha i r w a s w h it e r t h an th e s n ow ,

Whose face was very like a crow,

W it h e ye s, l ik e c in de rs , a ll a gl ow ,

W ho s ee me d d is tr ac te d w it h h is w oe ,

Who rocked his body to and fro,

And muttered mumblingly and low,

As if his mouth were full of dough,

That summer evening long ago

A sitting on a gate”

A s t he Kni ght s ang t he l as t wo rds of t he b al la d he ga th er ed up t he r ei ns , a nd t ur ne d h is h or se ’s he ad

a long t he r oa d by whi ch t he y ha d c om e. “ You’ ve onl y a f ew ya rds t o go,” he s aid, “ down t he hi ll a nd

ov er t ha t l it tl e br ook a nd t he n yo u’ ll be a Que en - - b ut you ’l l s ta y a nd s ee me of f f ir st ?” he a dd ed a s

A li ce t ur ne d a wa y w it h a n e age r l oo k. “ I s ha n’ t b e l on g. Y ou’ ll w ai t a nd w av e y ou r h an dk er ch ie f w he n I

g et t o t ha t t ur n i n t he r oa d? I t hi nk i t’ ll e nc ou ra ge m e, y ou s ee .”

“ Of c our se I ’l l wa it ,” s ai d A li ce : “ and t ha nk you ve ry muc h f or c omi ng s o f ar - - a nd f or t he s ong - - I



liked it very much.”

“ I h op e s o, ” t he K ni gh t s ai d d ou bt fu ll y: “ bu t y ou d id n’ t c ry s o m uc h a s I e xp ec te d. ”

So t he y s hoo k ha nds , a nd t he n t he Kn ight r ode s lo wl y a wa y i nt o t he f or es t. “ It w on ’t t ake l ong t o s ee

h im o ff , I e xp ec t, ” A li ce s ai d t o h er se lf , a s s he s to od w at ch in g h im . “ Th er e h e g oe s! R ig ht o n h is h ea d a s

u su al ! H ow ev er , h e g et s o n a ga in pr et ty e as il y - - t ha t c om es o f h av in g s o m an y t hi ng s h un g r ou nd t heh or se - - - ” S o s he w en t o n t al ki ng t o h er se lf , a s s he w at ch ed t he h or se w al ki ng l ei su re ly a lo ng t he r oa d,

a nd t he K ni gh t t um bl ing of f, f ir st on o ne s id e a nd t he n o n t he o th er . A ft er t he f our th o r f if th t umb le he

r ea ch ed t he t ur n, a nd t he n s he w av ed h er h an dk er ch ie f t o h im , a nd w ai te d t il l h e w as o ut o f s ig ht .

“ I hope i t e nc our age d hi m, ” s he s ai d, a s s he t ur ne d t o r un down t he hi ll : “ and no w f or t he l as t br ook, a nd

to be a Que en! How gra nd it s ounds! ” A ve ry f ew st eps br ought her t o the e dge of the br ook. “ The

E igh th S qu ar e a t l as t! ” s he c ri ed a s s he bo und ed a cr os s a nd t hr ew he rs el f do wn t o r es t on a l aw n a s s of t

a s m os s, w it h l it tl e f low er -be ds dot te d a ll a bo ut i t h er e a nd t he re . “ Oh, how g la d I a m t o ge t h er e! An d

wha t i s t his on my he ad? ” s he e xc la ime d in a t one of di smay, as s he put he r hands up to s ome thi ng ve ry

h eavy , t hat f it ted t ig ht r ou nd h er h ead.

“ But h ow c an i t h av e g ot t he re wi tho ut m y k no wi ng i t? ” s he s ai d t o h er se lf , a s s he l if te d i t o ff , a nd s et i t

on he r l ap t o m ake ou t wh at i t c ou ld po ss ibl y be . I t w as a g ol de n c row n.

“ Queen A lic e”“ WE LL, t hi s i s g ra nd! ” s ai d A li ce . “ I n eve r e xpe ct ed I s houl d b e a Qu ee n s o s oo n - - a nd I ’l l t el l yo u

w ha t i t i s, y ou r M aj es ty ,” s he w en t o n i n a s ev er e t on e ( sh e w as a lw ay s r at he r f on d o f s co ld in g h er se lf ),



“ it ’l l n ev er d o t o l ol l a bo ut o n t he g ra ss l ik e t ha t! Q ue en s h av e t o b e d ig ni fi ed , y ou k no w”

So s he go t up a nd wa lk ed a bou t - - r at he r s ti ff ly j us t a t f ir st , a s s he wa s a fr ai d t ha t t he c rown m ight c ome

o ff : b ut s he c om fo rt ed h er se lf w it h t he t ho ug ht t ha t t he re w as n ob od y t o s ee h er , “ an d i f I r ea ll y a m a

Que en,” she s ai d a s she s at down a ga in, “ I s hal l be a ble t o ma na ge it qui te w el l i n ti me .”

E ve ryt hi ng w as h ap pe ni ng s o o dd ly t ha t s he d idn ’t f ee l a b it s ur pr is ed a t f in di ng t he R ed Q ue en a nd t heW hi te Q ue en s it ti ng c lo se t o h er , o ne o n e ac h s id e: s he w ou ld h av e l ik ed v er y m uc h t o a sk t he m h ow

t he y c am e t he re , b ut s he f ea re d i t w ou ld n ot b e q ui te c iv il . H ow ev er , t he re w ou ld b e n o h ar m, s he

t ho ug ht , i n a sk ing i f t he g am e w as o ve r. “ Pl ea se , w ou ld y ou t el l m e - - - ” s he b ega n, l oo ki ng t im id ly a t t he

R ed Q u een .

“ Sp ea k w he n y ou ’r e s po ke n t o! ” t he R ed Q ue en s ha rp ly i nt er ru pt ed h er .

“ Bu t i f e ve ryb od y o be ye d t ha t r ul e, ” s ai d A li ce , w ho w as a lw ays r ea dy f or a l it tl e a rg um en t, “ an d i f y ou

on ly s po ke w he n y ou w er e s pok en t o, a nd t he ot he r p er so n a lw ays w ai te d f or y ou t o b egi n, yo u s ee

n ob od y w ou ld e ve r s ay a ny th in g, s o t ha t - - - ”

“ Ri di cu lo us !” c ri ed t he Q ue en . “ Wh y, d on ’t y ou s ee , c hi ld - - - ” h er e s he b ro ke o ff w it h a f ro wn , a nd

aft er t hi nk in g f or a m in ut e, s ud denl y chang ed t he s ub ject o f t he con vers at io n. “Wh at d o y ou m ean b y ‘ If

you r ea lly a re a Que en’ ? Wha t ri ght ha ve you t o c al l your se lf s o? You c an’ t be a Qu ee n, you kno w, t il l

y ou ’v e p as se d t he p ro pe r e xa mi na ti on . A nd t he s oo ne r w e b eg in i t, t he b et te r. ”

“ I o nl y s ai d ‘ if ’! ” p oo r A li ce p le ad ed i n a p it eo us t on e.

Th e t wo Q ue en s l oo ke d a t e ac h o th er , a nd t he R ed Q ue en r em ar ke d, w it h a l it tl e s hud de r, “ Sh e s ay s

she only sa id ‘if’ -- -”

“ Bu t s he s ai d a g re at d ea l m or e t ha n t ha t! ” t he W hi te Q ue en m oa ne d, w ri ng in g h er h an ds . “ Oh , e ve r s o

much more than that!”

“ So y ou d id, you k now ,” t he R ed Q ue en s ai d t o Al ic e. “ Al wa ys s pe ak t he t rut h - - t hi nk be for e y ou

s pe ak - - a nd w ri te i t d ow n a ft er wa rd s. ”

“ I’ m s ur e I d id n’ t m ea n - - - ” A li ce w as b eg in ni ng , b ut t he R ed Q ue en i nt er ru pt ed .

“ Tha t’ s j us t w ha t I c ompl ai n of ! You s houl d h av e me ant ! W ha t do you s uppos e i s t he us e of a c hi ld

w it ho ut a ny m ea ni ng ? E ve n a j ok e s ho ul d h av e s om e m ea ni ng - - a nd a c hi Id ’s m or e i mpo rt ant t ha n a joke, I hope. You couldn’t deny that, even if you tried with both hands.”

“I d on ’t d en y t hi ng s w it h m y h an ds ,” A li ce o bj ected.

“ No bo dy s ai d y ou d id ,” s ai d t he R ed Q ue en , “ I s ai d y ou c ou ld n’ t i f y ou t ri ed .”

“ Sh e’ s i n t ha t s ta te o f m in d, ” s ai d t he W hi te Q ue en , “ th at s he w an ts t o d en y s om et hi ng - - o nl y s he

d oe sn ’t k no w w ha t t o d en y! ”

“ A n as ty , v ic io us t em pe r, ” t he R ed Q ue en r em ar ke d; a nd t he n t he re w as a n u nc om fo rt ab le s il en ce f or a

m in ut e o r t wo .

T he R ed Q ue en b ro ke t he s il en ce b y s ay in g t o t he W hi te Q ue en , “ I i nv it e y ou t o A li ce ’s d in ne r- pa rt y



this afternoon.”

T he W hi te Q ueen s mi led f eebl y, and s ai d, “An d I i nv it e y ou .”

“I didn’t know I was to have a party at all,” said Alice; “but if there is to be one, I think I ought to invite

the guests.”

“ We g av e y ou t he o pp or tu ni ty o f d oi ng i t, ” t he R ed Q ue en r em ar ke d: “ bu t I d ar es ay y ou ’v e n ot h ad

many lessons in manners yet?”

“Mann er s are n ot t au gh t i n l es so ns ,” s ai d A li ce.

“ Le ss on s t ea ch y ou t o d o s um s, a nd t hi ng s o f t ha t s or t. ”

“ Ca n y ou d o A dd it io n? ” t he W hi te Q ue en a sk ed .

“ What ’s one and one a nd one a nd one a nd one and one a nd one a nd one and one a nd one ?”

“ I d on ’t k no w, ” s ai d A li ce . “ I l os t c ou nt .”

“Sh e can ’t d o A dd it io n, ” t he R ed Q ueen i nt er ru pt ed . “Can y ou d o S ub tr acti on ? T ak e n in e f ro m eig ht .”

“ Ni ne f ro m e ig ht I c an ’t , y ou k no w, ” A li ce r ep li ed v er y r ea di ly : “ bu t - - - ”

“ Sh e c an ’t d o S ub tr ac ti on ,” s ai d t he W hi te Q ue en . “ Ca n y ou d o D iv is io n? D iv id e a l oa f b y a k ni fe - -

w ha t’ s t he a ns we r t o t ha t? ”

“ I s up po se - - - ” A li ce w as b eg in ni ng , b ut t he R ed Q ue en a ns we re d f or h er . “ Br ea d- an d- bu tt er , o f

c ou rs e. T ry a no th er S ub tr ac ti on s um . T ak e a b on e f ro m a d og . W ha t r em ai ns ?”

A li ce c on si de re d. “ Th e b on e w ou ld n’ t r em ai n, o f c ou rs e, i f I t oo k i t - - a nd t he d og w ou ld n’ t r em ai n; i t

wou ld c om e t o bi te m e - - a nd I ’m s ur e I s houl dn’ t r ema in! ”

“Th en y ou t hi nk n ot hi ng w ou ld r em ai n?” s ai d t he R ed Q ueen .



“I t hi nk t hat’ s t he ans wer. ”

“Wr on g, as u su al ,” s ai d t he R ed Q ueen ; “th e d og ’s t em per w ou ld r em ai n. ”

“But I don’t see how -- -”

“ Wh y, l oo k h er e! ” t he R ed Q ue en c ri ed . “ Th e d og w ou ld l os e i ts t em pe r, w ou ld n’ t i t? ”

“Perhaps it would,” Alice replied cautiously.

“Th en i f t he d og w en t away, i ts t em per w ou ld r em ai n! ” t he Q ueen exclaim ed .

A li ce s ai d, as g ravely as s he cou ld , “Th ey m ig ht g o d if ferent w ay s. ” B ut s he cou ld n’ t h el p t hi nk in g t o

herself, “What dreadful nonsense we are talking!”

“ Sh e c an ’t d o s um s a b it !” t he Q ue en s s ai d t og et he r, w it h g re at e mp ha si s.

“Can y ou d o s um s?” A li ce s ai d, t ur ni ng s ud denl y o n t he W hi te Q ueen , f or s he d id n’ t l ik e b ei ng f ou nd

fault with so much.

T he Que en ga spe d a nd s hut he r e ye s. “ I c an do A ddi ti on,” s he s ai d, “ if y ou gi ve m e t im e - - bu t I c an’ t

do Subtraction under any circumstances! “

“Of c ours e you know your A B C?” s ai d t he Re d Quee n.

“To be s ure I do,” s aid Al ic e.

“ So d o I ,” t he W hi te Q ue en w hi sp er ed . “ We ’l l o ft en s ay i t o ve r t og et he r, d ea r. A nd I ’l l t el l y ou a s ec re t

- - I c an r ea d w or ds o f on e l et te r! I sn ’t t ha t g ra nd ? H owe ve r, d on ’t be di sc ou ra ge d. Y ou ’l l c om e t o i t i n

time.”

H er e t he R ed Q ue en b eg an a ga in . “ Ca n y ou a ns we r u se fu l q ue st io ns ?” s he s ai d. “ Ho w i s b re ad m ad e? ”

“ I k no w t ha t! ” A li ce c ri ed e ag er ly . “ Yo u t ak e s om e f lo ur - - - ”

“ Whe re d o you p ic k t he f low er ?” t he W hi te Q ue en a ske d. “ In a ga rde n, o r i n t he he dge s? ”

“Well , i t i sn ’t p icked at all ,” A li ce exp lain ed : “it ’s g ro un d- - - “

“Ho w m an y acr es o f g ro un d?” s ai d t he W hi te Q ueen . “Yo u m us tn ’t l eave o ut s o m an y t hi ng s. ”

“Fan h er h ead! ” t he R ed Q ueen anx io us ly i nt er ru pt ed . “Sh e’ ll b e f ev er is h aft er s o m uch t hi nk in g. ”

S o t he y s et t o wor k a nd f anne d he r w ith bunc he s of l ea ve s, t il l s he ha d t o be g t he m t o l ea ve of f, i t bl ew

h er h ai r a bou t s o.

“ Sh e’ s a ll r ig ht a ga in n ow ,” s ai d t he R ed Q ue en . “ Do y ou k no w L an gu ag es ? W ha t’ s t he F re nc h f or

fiddle-de-dee ?”

“Fiddle-de-dee’s not English,” Alice replied gravely.



“ Who s ai d i t w as ?” s ai d t he Re d Q ue en.

A li ce t ho ug ht s he s aw a w ay o ut o f t he d if fi cu lt y t hi s t im e. “If y ou ’l l t el l m e w hat l an gu ag e

“fiddle-de-dee’ is, I’ll tell you the French for it!” she exclaimed triumphantly.

B ut t he R ed Q ueen d rew h er self u p r at her s ti ff ly , and s ai d, “Qu eens n ev er m ak e b ar gain s. ”

“I w is h Q ueen s n ev er ask ed q uest io ns ,” A li ce t ho ug ht t o h er self .

“ Do n’ t l et u s qu ar re l, ” t he W hi te Q ue en s ai d i n a n a nx io us t on e. “ Wh at i s t he c au se of l ig ht ni ng ? ”

“Th e cau se o f l ig ht ni ng ,” A li ce s ai d v er y d ecid ed ly , f or s he f el t q ui te s ur e abo ut t hi s, “is t he t hu nd er - -

n o, n o! ” s he h as ti ly cor rect ed h er self .

“ I m ea nt t he o th er w ay .”

“ It ’s t oo l at e t o c or re ct i t,” s ai d t he Re d Que en: “ whe n yo u’ ve on ce s ai d a t hi ng , t ha t f ixe s i t, a nd you

m us t t ake t he con sequ en ces .”

“Wh ich r em in ds m e - - “ t he W hi te Q ueen s ai d, l oo ki ng d ow n and n er vo us ly clasp in g and u nclasp in g h er

ha nds , “ we ha d s uc h a t hund er st or m l as t Tu es da y - - I me an on e of t he l as t s et o f T ue sda ys , y ou kn ow .”

“ In o ur c ou nt ry ,” A li ce r em ar ke d, “ th er e’ s o nl y o ne d ay a t a t im e. ”

T he R ed Q ue en s ai d. “ Th at ’s a p oo r t hi n w ay o f d oi ng t hi ng s. N ow he re , w e m os tl y h av e d ay s a nd n ig ht s

t wo or t hr ee a t a t im e, a nd s om et ime s i n t he w int er we t ake a s ma ny a s f ive ni ght s t oge the r - - f or w ar mt h,

you know.”

“Ar e f iv e n ig ht s w ar mer t han o ne n ig ht , t hen?” A li ce v en tu red t o ask .

“ Fi ve t im es a s w ar m, o f c ou rs e. ”

“ But t he y s houl d be f iv e t im es a s c ol d, by t he s ame r ul e - - - ”

“ ju st s o! ” c ri ed t he R ed Q ue en. “ Fi ve t im es a s wa rm , a nd f ive t im es a s c ol d - - j us t a s I ’m f ive t ime s a s

r ic h a s y ou a re , a nd f iv e t im es a s c le ve r! ”

A li ce s ig he d a nd g av e i t u p. “ It ’s e xa ct ly l ik e a r id dl e w it h n o a ns we r! ” s he t hou gh t.

“ Humpt y Dumpt y s aw i t t oo, ” the W hit e Que en we nt on i n a low voic e, m ore a s i f s he we re t al king t o

he rs el f. “ He c ame t o t he d oo r w it h a c or ks cr ew i n h is ha nd - - - ”

“ Wh at f or ?” s ai d t he R ed Q ue en .

“ He s ai d h e w ou ld c om e i n, ” t he W hi te Q ue en w en t o n, “ be ca us e h e w as l oo ki ng f or a h ip po po ta mu s.

Now, as it happened, there wasn’t such a thing in the house, that morning.”

“Is t here g en er al ly ?” A li ce ask ed i n an ast on is hed t on e.

“Well , o nl y o n T hu rs days ,” s ai d t he Q ueen .



“ I kno w wha t he c ame f or ,” s ai d A li ce : “ he w ant ed t o puni sh t he f is h, be ca us e - - - ”

H er e t he W hi te Q ue en b eg an a ga in . “ It w as s uc h a t hu nd er st or m, y ou c an ’t t hi nk !” ( “S he n ev er c ou ld ,

yo u kn ow ,” s ai d t he Re d Qu ee n.) “ An d pa rt of t he r oof c am e of f, a nd e ve r s o m uc h t hun de r g ot i n - - a nd

i t we nt r ol ling r ound t he r oom i n gr ea t l umps -- a nd knoc ki ng ove r t he t able s a nd t hings - - ti ll I wa s s o

frightened, I couldn’t remember my own name!”

A li ce t ho ug ht t o h er se lf , “ I n ev er s ho ul d t ry t o r em em be r m y n am e i n t he m id dl e of a n a cc id ent ! W he re

w ou ld b e t he u se o f i t? ” B ut s he d id n ot s ay t hi s a lo ud , f or f ea r o f h ur ti ng t he p oo r Q ue en ’s f ee li ng s.

“ Yo ur M aj es ty m us t e xc us e h er ,” t he R ed Q ue en s ai d t o A li ce , t ak in g o ne o f t he W hi te Q ue en ’s h an ds

i n h er o wn , and g en tl y s tr ok in g i t: “sh e m eans w el l, b ut s he can ’t h el p s ay in g f oo li sh t hi ng s, as a g en er al

rule.”

T he W hi te Q ueen l oo ked t im id ly at A li ce, w ho f el t s he o ug ht t o s ay s om et hi ng k in d, b ut r eall y cou ld n’ t

think of anything.

“Sh e n ev er w as r eall y w el l b ro ug ht u p, ” t he R ed Q ueen w en t o n: “bu t i t’ s amazi ng h ow g oo d- temp er ed

s he i s! Pa t h er on t he he ad, a nd s ee h ow p le as ed s he ’l l be !” Bu t t hi s w as mo re t ha n Al ic e ha d c our age t o

do.

“ A l it tl e ki ndn es s - - a nd pu tt in g h er ha ir i n p ap er s - - w oul d d o w on de rs wi th h er - - - ”

T he Whi te Qu ee n ga ve a d ee p s igh, a nd l ai d he r he ad on Al ic e’ s s ho ul de r. “ I a m s o s le epy! ” s he

moaned.

“ Sh e’ s t ir ed , p oo r t hi ng !” s ai d t he R ed Q ue en , “ Sm oo th h er h ai r - - l en d h er y ou r n ig ht ca p - - a nd s in gher a soothing lullaby.”

“ I h av en ’t g ot a n ig ht ca p w it h m e, ” s ai d A li ce , a s s he t ri ed t o o be y t he f ir st d ir ec ti on : “ an d I d on ’t k no w

any soothing lullabies.”

“ I m us t d o i t m ys el f, t he n, ” s ai d t he R ed Q ue en , a nd s he b eg an :



“ Hu sh -a -b y l ad y, i n A li c e’ s l ap !

Till the feast’s ready, we’ve time for a nap:

Till the feas t’s over, we’ll go to the ball --

R ed Q ue en , a nd W hi te Q ue en , a nd A li ce , a nd a ll !.

“ And now yo u k no w t he w or ds ,” s he a dd ed, a s s he p ut h er h ea d do wn on Al ic e’ s o the r s hou lde r, “ ju st

s in g i t t hr ou gh t om e. I ’m g et ti ng s leep y t oo .” I n ano th er m om en t b ot h Q ueen s w er e f as t asl eep, and

snoring loud.

“ Wh at a m I t o d o? ” e xc la im ed A li ce , l oo ki ng a bo ut i n g re at p er pl ex it y, a s f ir st o ne r ou nd h ea d, a nd t he n

t he o th er , r ol le d d ow n f ro m he r s hou ld er , a nd l ay l ik e a h ea vy l um p i n h er l ap . “ I d on ’t t hi nk i t e ve r

h ap pe ne d b ef or e, t ha t a ny one ha d t o t ak e “ ca re o f t wo Q ue ens a sl ee p a t o nc e! N o, n ot i n a ll t he H is to ry

of E ngl and - - i t c oul dn ’t , yo u kn ow , b ec aus e t he re ne ve r w as m or e t ha n o ne Qu ee n a t a t im e. D o w ak e

u p, y ou h ea vy t hi ng s! ” s he w ent o n i n a n i mp at ie nt t one ; b ut t he re w as no a ns we r b ut a g en tl e s no ri ng .

T he s no ri ng g ot m or e di st in ct e ve ry m in ut e, a nd s ou nd ed m or e l ik e a t un e: a t l as t s he c oul d e ve n m ak e

o ut w or ds , a nd s he l is te ne d s o e ag er ly t ha t w he n t he t wo g re at h ea ds s ud de nl y v an is he d f ro m h er l ap , s he

hardly missed them.

S he w as s ta nd in g b ef or e a n a rc he d d oo rw ay , o ve r w hi ch w er e t he w or ds Q UE EN A LI CE i n l ar gel et te rs , a nd o n e ac h s id e o f i t t he re w as a b el l- ha nd le ; o ne m ar ke d “ Vi si to rs ’ B el l, ” a nd t he o th er

“Servants’ Bell.”

“I’ ll w ai t t il l t he s on g’ s o ver, ” t ho ug ht A li ce, “an d t hen I ’l l r in g t he - - t he - -w hi ch b el l m us t r in g?” s he

we nt on, ve ry m uc h puz zl ed by t he na me s. “ I’m not a vis it or , a nd I ’m no t a s er va nt . The re ought t o be

o ne m ar ke d “ Qu ee n, ’ y ou kn ow - - - ”

J us t t he n t he doo r ope ne d a l it tl e w ay, a nd a c re at ur e w it h a l on g be ak pu t i ts he ad out f or a mo me nt a nd

s ai d, “ No a dm it ta nc e t il l t he w ee k a ft er n ex t! ” a nd s hu t t he d oo r a ga in w it h a b an g.

A lic e knoc ke d a nd ra ng i n v ai n f or a l ong t im e, b ut a t l as t a ve ry o ld Fr og, wh o wa s s it ti ng unde r a t re e,

g ot u p, a nd h ob bl ed s lo wl y t ow ar ds h er : h e w as d re ss ed i n b ri gh t y el lo w, a nd h ad e no rm ou s b oo ts o n.

“ Wha t i s i t now ?” t he F rog s ai d i n a de ep hoa rs e wh is pe r.

A li ce t ur ned r ou nd , r eady t o f in d f au lt w it h any bo dy . “Wh er e’ s t he s er vant w ho se b us in es s i t i s t o

ans wer t he d oo r?” s he b eg an ang ri ly .



“Wh ich d oo r?” s ai d t he F ro g.

A li ce a lm os t s ta mp ed w it h i rr it at io n a t t he s lo w d ra wl i n w hi ch h e s po ke . “ Th is d oo r, o f c ou rs e!

The Fr og l ooke d a t th e door wi th hi s la rge dul l e ye s f or a m inute : t he n he w ent ne ar er a nd r ubbe d it wi th

h is t hu mb , a s i f h e w er e t ry in g w he th er t he p ai nt w ou ld c om e o ff ; t he n h e l oo ke d a t A li ce . “ To a ns we r t he

d oo r? ” h e s ai d. “ Wh at ’s i t b ee n a sk in g o f? ” H e w as s o h oa rs e t ha t A li ce c ou ld s ca rc el y h ea r h im .

“ I d on ’t k no w w ha t y ou m ea n, ” s he s ai d.

“ I s pe ak s En gl is h, do es n’ t I ?” t he F rog w en t on. “ Or a re y ou d ea f? Wh at di d i t a sk yo u? ”

“Nothing!” Alice said impatiently. “I’ve been knocking at it!”

“ Sh ou ldn ’t do t ha t - - s ho ul dn’ t d o t ha t - - “ t he Fr og m ut te re d. “ Ve xe s i t, y ou k now .” T he n he w ent up

a nd g ave t he do or a k ic k wi th o ne of f hi s gr ea t f ee t. “ You l et i t a lon e,” he pa nt ed ou t, a s he ho bbl ed

back to his tree, “and it’ll let you alone, you know.”

A t t hi s m om en t t he do or w as f lun g o pe n, a nd a s hr il l vo ic e wa s h ea rd s in gi ng :

T o t he L oo ki ng -g la ss w or ld i t w as A li ce t ha t s ai d,

“I’ ve a s ceptre in hand, I’v e a crown on my he ad;

Let the Looking-glass creatures, whatever they be,



Co me a nd d ine w it h t he R ed Q ue en, t he W hi te

Q ue en , a nd m e.

A nd h un dr ed s o f v oi ces j oi ned i n t he cho ru s:

“ The n f il l up t he g las se s as qu ic k a s y ou c an,

And sprinkle the table with buttons and bran:

Put cats in the coffee, and mice in the tea --

A n d w e lc o me Q ue e n A l ic e w i th t h ir t y- t im e s- t hr e e!

T hen f ol lo wed a con fu sed n oi se o f cheer in g, and A li ce t ho ug ht t o h er self , “Th ir ty t im es t hr ee m ak es

n in et y. I w on der i f any on e’ s cou nt in g?” I n a m in ut e t here w as s il en ce again , and t he s am e s hr il l v oi ce,

sang another verse:

“ ‘ O L oo k in g- g la s s c r ea t ur e s, ’ q uo t h A l ic e , ‘ d ra w n e ar !

‘Tis an honour to see me, a favour to hear:

‘ Ti s a pr iv il eg e hi gh t o h av e di nne r an d t ea

A lo ng w it h t he R ed Q ue en , t he W hi te Q ue en , a nd m e! ’”

T hen cam e t he cho ru s again :

“T he n f il l u p t he g las se s wi th t re ac le an d i nk ,

O r a ny th in g e ls e t ha t i s p le as an t t o d ri nk ;

Mi x sand with the c ide r, and wool with t he wine --

And welcome Queen Alice with ninety-times-nine”

“ Ni ne ty -t im es -n in e! ” A li ce r ep ea te d i n d es pa ir . “ Oh , t ha t’ ll n ev er b e d on e! I ’d b et te r g o i n a t o nc e - - “



a nd i n s he w ent , a nd t he re w as a d ea d s il enc e t he m om ent s he a ppe ar ed .

A li ce g la nc ed n er vo us ly a lo ng t he t ab le , a s s he w al ke d u p t he l ar ge h al l, a nd n ot ic ed t ha t t he re w er e

a bo ut f if ty g ue st s, o f a ll k in ds : s om e w er e a ni ma ls , s om e b ir ds , a nd t he re w er e e ve n a f ew f lo we rs a mo ng

t hem. “I’ m g lad t hey’ ve com e w it ho ut w ai ti ng t o b e ask ed ,” s he t ho ug ht : “I s ho ul d n ev er h av e k no wn

w ho w er e t he r ig ht p eo pl e t o i nv it e! ”

Th er e we re t hr ee c ha ir s a t t he he ad o f t he t abl e; t he R ed a nd W hi te Qu ee ns h ad t ak en t wo of t he m, bu t

t he m id dl e o ne w as emp ty . A li ce s at d ow n, r at her u ncom fo rt ab le at t he s il en ce, and l on gi ng f or s om eo ne

t o s pe ak .

A t l as t t he R ed Q ue en b eg an . “ Yo u’ ve m is se d t he s ou p a nd f is h, ” s he s ai d. “ Pu t o n t he j oi nt !” A nd t he

wa it er s s et a l eg o f m ut ton be for e Al ic e, who l oo ke d a t i t r at he r a nxi ous ly, a s s he h ad ne ve r ha d t o c ar ve

o ne b efo r e.

“ Yo u l oo k a l it tl e s hy ; l et m e i nt ro du ce y ou t o t ha t l eg o f m ut to n, ” s ai d t he R ed Q ue en . “ Al ic e - - M ut to n;

Mut ton - - Al ic e.” The le g of mut ton got up i n t he di sh a nd m ade a l itt le bow t o Al ic e; and s he r etur ne dt he b ow , n ot k no wi ng w he th er t o b e f ri gh te ne d o r a mu se d.

“ Ma y I gi ve you a s li ce ?” s he s ai d, ta ki ng up t he kni fe a nd f or k, a nd l ooking f rom one Q uee n t o t he

other.

“Cert ai nl y n ot ,” t he R ed Q ueen s ai d, v er y d ecid ed ly ; “it i sn ’t eti qu et te t o cut any on e y ou ’v e b een

i nt ro du ced t o. R em ov e t he j oi nt !” A nd t he w ai ters car ri ed i t o ff , and b ro ug ht a l ar ge p lu m- pu dd in g i n i ts

place.

“ I w on ’t b e i nt ro du ce d t o t he p ud di ng , p le as e, ” A li ce s ai d r at he r h as ti ly , “ or w e s ha ll g et n o d in ne r a t a ll .M ay I g iv e yo u s om e? ”



B ut t he R ed Q ue en l oo ke d s ul ky , a nd g ro wl ed , “ Pu dd in g - - A li ce ; A li ce - - P ud di ng . R em ov e t he

pudding!” and the waiters took it away before Alice could return its bow.

H ow ev er , s he di dn ’t s ee w hy t he R ed Q ue en s hou ld be t he on ly o ne t o gi ve o rd er s, s o, a s a n

e xp er im ent , s he c al le d o ut , “ Wa it er ! B ri ng b ac k t he p ud di ng !” a nd t he re i t w as a ga in i n a m om ent , l ik e a

c on ju ri ng t ri ck . I t w as s o l ar ge t ha t s he c ou ld n’ t h el p f ee li ng a l it tl e s hy w it h i t, a s s he h ad be en w it h t he

m ut to n; h ow ev er , s he c on qu er ed h er s hy ne ss b y a g re at e ff or t, a nd h an de d a s li ce t o t he R ed Q ue en .

“ Wha t im pe rt ine nc e! ” s ai d t he Puddi ng. “ I wonde r how you’d l ike it , i f I we re t o c ut a s li ce out of you,

you creature!”

A li ce c ou ld o nl y l oo k a t i t a nd g as p.

“Make a r em ar k, ” s ai d t he R ed Q ueen : “it ’s r id icul ou s t o l eave all t he con vers at io n t o t he p ud di ng !”

“ Do y ou k no w, I ’v e h ad s uc h a q ua nt it y o f p oe tr y r ep ea te d t o m e t o- da y, ” A li ce b eg an , a l it tl e

f ri gh te ne d a t f in di ng t ha t, t he m om en t s he o pe ne d h er l ip s, t he re w as d ea d s il en ce , a nd a ll e ye s w er e f ix edupon he r; “ and i t’ s a ve ry c ur ious t hi ng, I t hi nk - - e ve ry poe m wa s a bou t f is he s i n s om e wa y. Do you

k no w w hy t he y’ re s o f on d o f f is he s, a ll a bo ut h er e? ”

Sh e s pok e t o t he R ed Q ue en, wh os e a ns we r w as a l it tl e wi de o f t he m ar k. “ As t o f is he s, ” s he s ai d, ve ry

s lo wl y and s ol em nl y, p ut ti ng h er m ou th clo se t o A li ce’s ear , “her W hi te M aj es ty k no ws a l ov el y r id dl e - -

a ll i n p oe tr y - - a ll a bo ut f is he s. S ha ll s he r ep ea t i t? ”

“ He r R ed M aj es ty ’s v er y k in d t o m en ti on i t, ” t he W hi te Q ue en m ur mu re d i nt o A li ce ’s o th er e ar , i n a

voi ce l ike t he c ooi ng of a pi ge on. “ It w oul d be s uc h a t re at ! M ay I ?”

“Pl ease d o, ” A li ce s ai d v er y p ol it el y. T he W hi te Q ueen l au gh ed w it h d el ig ht , and s tr ok ed A li ce’s cheek .Then she began:

“‘First the fish must be caught.’

That is easy: a baby, I think, could have caught it.

‘Next, the fish must be bought.’

That is easy: a penny, I think, would have bought it.

‘Now cook me the fish!’

That is easy, and will not take more than a minute.

‘Let it lie in a dish!’

T hat i s e as y, be ca us e i t al re ady i s i n i t.

‘ Br in g i t he re ! L et m e s up !’

It is easy to set such a dis h on the table.



‘ Ta ke t he d is h- co ve r u p! ’

Ah that is so hard that I f ear I’m unable !

For it holds it like glue --

H ol ds t he l id t o th e di sh, w hi le i t l ie s i n t he mi ddl e:

W hi ch i s e as ie st t o d o,

u n- di s h- co ve r t he f i sh , o r d is h- co ve r t he r id dl e? ”

“ Ta ke a m in ut e t o t hi nk a bo ut i t, t he n a nd g ue ss ,” s ai d t he R ed Q ue en . “ Me an wh il e, w e’ ll d ri nk y ou r

h ea lt h - - Q ue en A li ce ’s h ea lt h! ” s he s cr ea me d a t t he t op o f h er v oi ce , a nd a ll t he g ue st s b eg an d ri nk in g i td ir ectl y, and v er y q ueer ly t hey m an ag ed i t: s om e o f t hem p ut t heir g lass es u po n t heir h eads l ik e

e xt in gu is he rs , a nd d ra nk a ll t ha t t ri ck le d d ow n t he ir f ac es - - o th er s u ps et t he d ec an te rs , a nd d ra nk t he

wi ne a s i t r an of f t he e dge s of t he t ab le - - a nd t hr ee of t he m ( wh o l ook ed l ike k ang ar oo s) s cr am bl ed i nt o

t he d is h o f r oa st m ut to n, a nd b eg an t o l ap u p t he g ra vy , “ ju st l ik e p ig s i n a t rou gh !” t hou gh t A li ce .

“ Yo u o ug ht t o r et ur n t ha nk s i n a n ea t s pe ec h, ” t he R ed Q ue en s ai d, f ro wn in g a t A li ce a s s he s po ke .

“ We mu st s upp or t you , you kn ow ,” t he W hi te Q ue en w hi sp er ed , a s Al ic e g ot up t o do i t, v er y

obediently, but a little frightened.

“Th an k y ou v er y m uch, ” s he w hi sp er ed i n r ep ly , “bu t I can d o q ui te w el l w it ho ut .”



u p t o t he c ei li ng , l oo ki ng s om et hi ng l ik e a b ed o f b us he s w it h f ir ew or ks a t t he t op . A s t o t he b ot tl es , t he y

e ac h t oo k a p ai r o f pl at es , w hi ch t he y h as ti ly f it te d o n a s w in gs , a nd s o, w it h f or ks f or l eg s, w en t f lu tt er in g

a bou t: “ an d v er y l ik e b ir ds t he y l oo k, ” A li ce t ho ug ht t o h er se lf , a s w el l a s s he c ou ld i n t he dr ea df ul

c on fu si on t ha t w as b eg in ni ng . A t t hi s m om en t s he h ea rd a h oa rs e l au gh a t h er s id e, a nd t ur ne d t o s ee

w ha t w as t he m at te r w it h t he W hi te Q ue en; bu t, i ns te ad o f t he Q ue en , t he re w as t he l eg o f m ut to n s it ti ng

i n t he c ha ir . “ He re I a m! ” c ri ed a v oi ce f ro m t he s ou p- tu re en , a nd A li ce t ur ne d a ga in , j us t i n t im e t o s ee

t he Q ue en ’s b ro ad g oo d- na tu re d f ac e g ri nn in g a t h er f or a m om en t o ve r t he e dg e o f t he t ur ee n, b ef or es he d is ap pe ar ed i nt o t he s ou p.

T he re w as not a m ome nt t o be l os t. Al re ady s eve ra l of t he gu es ts we re l yi ng down i n t he di she s, a nd t he

s oup- la dle wa s wa lki ng up t he t able t o Al ic e, a nd si gni ng to he r t o ge t out of i ts w ay.

“ I c an ’t s ta nd t hi s a ny l on ge r! ” s he c ri ed , a s s he s ei ze d t he t ab le -c lo th w it h b ot h h an ds : o ne g oo d p ul l,

a nd p la te s, d is he s, g ue st s, a nd c an dl es c am e c ra sh in g d ow n t og et he r i n a h ea p o n t he f lo or .

“ An d a s f or y ou ,” s he w en t o n, t ur ni ng f ie rc el y u po n t he R ed Q ue en , w ho m s he c on si de re d a s t he c au se

of a ll t he mi sc hi ef - - but t he Qu ee n wa s n o l onge r a t he r s id e - - s he ha d s udd enl y dw indl ed d own t o t hes iz e o f a l it tl e d ol l, a nd w as n ow o n t he t abl e, m er ri ly r un ni ng r oun d a nd r ou nd a ft er h er ow n s ha wl , w hi ch

was trailing behind her.

A t a ny ot he r t ime , Al ic e woul d ha ve f el t s urp ri se d a t t hi s, but s he wa s f ar t oo m uc h e xc it ed t o b e

s ur pr is ed a t a ny th in g n ow . “ As f or y ou , “ s he r ep ea te d, c at ch in g h ol d o f t he l it tl e c re at ur e i n t he v er y a ct

o f j um pi ng ov er a bo tt le w hi ch h ad j us t l ig ht ed u pon t he t abl e, “ I’ ll s ha ke yo u i nt o a k it te n, t ha t I w il l! ”



“Shaking”

Sh e t oo k he r o ff t he t abl e a s s he s pok e, a nd s ho ok he r ba ck wa rd s a nd f or wa rds wi th a ll h er m igh t.

T he R ed Q ue en m ad e n o r es is ta nc e w ha te ve r; o nl y h er f ac e g re w v er y s ma ll , a nd h er e ye s g ot l ar ge a nd

gr ee n: a nd s ti ll , a s A li ce w en t on s ha ki ng he r, s he k ep t on g ro wi ng s ho rt er - - a nd f at te r - - a nd s of te r - -

and rounder -- and -- -

“Waking”

- - a nd i t r ea ll y wa s a ki tt en, a ft er a ll .



“Which Dreamed It?”Y OU R R ed M aj es t y s ho ul dn ’t p ur r s o l ou d, ” A li ce s aid , r ub bi ng h er eyes , and add ress in g t he k it ten

r es pe ct fu ll y, y et w it h s om e s ev er it y. “ Yo u w ok e m e o ut o f - - o h! s uc h a n ic e d re am ! A nd y ou ’v e b ee n

alo ng w it h m e, K it ty - - all t hr ou gh t he L oo ki ng -g lass w or ld . D id y ou k no w i t, d ear?”

I t i s a v er y i nc on ve ni en t h ab it o f k it te ns ( Al ic e h ad o nc e m ad e t he r em ar k) t ha t, w ha te ve r y ou s ay t o

t he m, t he y a lw ay s p ur r. “ If t he y w ou ld o nl y p ur r f or “ ye s, ’ a nd m ew f or “ no ,’ o r a ny r ul e o f t ha t s or t, ”

s he h ad s ai d, “ so t ha t on e c oul d ke ep up a c onv er sa ti on! Bu t h ow c an yo u t al k wi th a pe rs on i f t he y

alw ay s s ay t he s am e t hi ng ?”

O n t hi s o cc as io n t he k it te n o nl y p ur re d: a nd i t w as i mp os si bl e t o g ue ss w he th er i t m ea nt “ ye s’ o r ‘ no .’

S o A li ce h un te d a mo ng t he c he ss me n o n t he t ab le t il l s he h ad f ou nd t he R ed Q ue en : t he n s he w en t d ow n

on he r kn ee s o n t he he ar thr ug , a nd pu t t he K it te n a nd t he Qu ee n t o l ook a t e ac h ot he r. “ No w, K it ty! ”

s he cri ed , clapp in g h er h an ds t ri um ph an tl y. “Yo u’ ve g ot t o con fess t hat t hat w as w hat y ou t ur ned i nt o! ”

( “B ut i t w ou ldn ’t l ook a t i t, ” s he s ai d, w he n s he w as e xpl ai ni ng t he t hi ng a ft er wa rd s t o h er s is te r : “ it



t ur ne d a wa y it s he ad, a nd pr et ende d no t t o s ee i t: but it l ooke d a l it tl e a sha me d of i ts el f, s o I t hi nk i t mus t

h av e b ee n t he R ed Q ue en .” )

“Si t u p a l it tl e m or e s ti ff ly , d ear! ” A li ce cri ed w it h a m er ry l au gh . “An d cur ts ey w hi le y ou ’r e t hi nk in g w hat

t o - - wha t t o pur r. I t s ave s t ime , r em embe r! ” An d s he c augh t i t u p i n he r a rm s, a nd ga ve i t one l it tl e ki ss

“ ju st i n h on ou r o f i ts h av in g b ee n a R ed Q ue en , yo u k no w! ”

“ Sn ow dr op , m y p et !” s he w en t o n, l oo ki ng o ve r h er s ho ul de r a t t he W hi te K it te n, w hi ch w as s ti ll

patiently undergoing its toilet, “when will Dinah have finished with your White Majesty, I wonder? That

mu st be t he re as on you we re s o un tid y i n my dr ea m. - - Di na h! D o yo u kn ow t ha t yo u’ re s cr ubbi ng a

W hi te Q ueen ? R eall y, i t’ s m os t d is resp ectf ul y ou , and I ’m q ui te s ur pr is ed at y ou !”

“ An d w ha t d id D in ah t ur n t o, I w on de r? ” s he p ra tt le d o n, a s s he s et tl ed c om fo rt ab ly d ow n, w it h o ne

e lb ow o n t he r ug , a nd he r c hi n i n h er h an d, t o w at ch t he k it te ns . “ Te ll m e, D in ah, d id y ou t ur n t o H um pt y

D um pt y? I t hi nk y ou d id - - h ow ev er , y ou ’d b et te r n ot m en ti on i t t o y ou r f ri en ds j us t y et , f or I ’m n ot s ur e.

“ By t he w ay, K it ty , i f o nl y yo u’ d b ee n r ea ll y wi th m e i n m y dr ea m, t he re w as on e t hi ng y ou w ou ld h av e

e nj oy ed - - I h ad s uc h a q ua nt it y o f p oe tr y s ai d t o m e, a ll a bo ut f is he s! T o- mo rr ow m or ni ng y ou s ha ll

h av e a r ea l t re at . A ll t he t im e y ou ’r e e at in g y ou r b re ak fa st , I ’l l r ep ea t “ Th e W al ru s a nd t he C ar pe nt er ” t o

y ou ; a nd t he n y ou c an m ak e b el ie ve i t’ s o ys te rs , m y d ea r!

“ No w, K it ty , l et ’s c on si de r w ho i t w as t ha t d re am ed i t a ll . T hi s i s a s er io us q ue st io n, m y d ea r, a nd y ou

s ho ul d n ot go o n l ic ki ng yo ur p aw l ike t ha t - - a s i f D ina h ha dn’ t w as he d yo u t hi s m or ni ng !

You se e, Kitt y, It mus t ha ve be en ei ther me or the Red Ki ng. He was par t of my dre am, of cour se - - but

t he n I w as pa rt of hi s dr ea m, t oo! W as i t t he Re d K ing , Ki tt y? You w er e hi s w if e, m y de ar , s o you ou ght

t o kno w - - oh , Ki tt y, do he lp t o s et tl e i t! I ’m s ur e yo ur pa w c an w ai t! ” But t he pr ovoki ng k it te n onl y began on the other paw, and pretended it hadn’t heard the question.



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Carroll, Lewis - Through the Looking Glass (Illus)

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Transcript of Carroll, Lewis - Through the Looking Glass (Illus)