CADS Report Feb 2013v3

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    Dutch and UK news oddities from both sides of our cod-less pond

    FEB ISSUE 2013

    CADS REPORT

    Non compos mentis

    Not many forCADS lunch this

    week dear!

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    OBITUARY

    Gerard J. Metzelaar Honory CAD no. 1When Mike Waters asked me to put together a few words about Metz my first thought was panic , Ive

    never done an obituary before and my second was OK, it cant be too hard!

    How wrong can you be? Ive called everyone I can think of and got almost no more information than I

    had to start with.

    What can I tell you, Gerard was 95 when he died ( it looks like its a good thing being an Hon CAD. the

    last funeral I went to was Albert Milhados an honorary founder member and he was 94).

    Gerard founded CADS in 1972 together with the British Consul-General at the time (Albert H. Hughes

    OBE) and a few anglophile businessmen. When I mentioned this at Metzs funeral everybody said Oh,

    thats normal; whenever he saw there was a need for a society or a club, he just started one!.

    He was always a very keen supporter of CADS and made a point of always welcoming new members and

    making them feel at home. I only became Chairman because he proposed me and I shall be eternally

    grateful for him seeing something in me that I had never seen in myself. Once I became Chairman he sat

    near me for the first few lunches, passing helpful comments (dont talk too quickly) and guiding me

    where necessary; he was very helpful.

    He was a very gentle man, in all meanings of the term. Jean tells me that whenever he came to CADS in

    recent years she would sit with him and have a quiet chat which they both enjoyed.

    The most common comment I have had about Metz in the last few days was nice guy.

    I think that sums him up perfectly.

    Goodbye Metz and thanks for everything.

    Michael D. Carn Hon. CAD no. 7.

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    Oddly Enough Anglo Dutch NewsPrince Charles Sends Mom Links

    About Dutch Queens Abdication

    Buck House --"Not to impose any ideas, but she is twelve

    years younger than you are, you know ... mommy", wrote

    Prince of Wales.

    AmsterdamIt's hard to feel blue when you see an 85-foot-tall yellow

    rubber duckie. Well, that's the theory of Dutch artist Flortijn Hofman,

    who is putting it to the test by sending an inflatable rubber duck of

    that size on a five-year mission around the globe -- including, so far,Auckland, New Zealand; Osaka, Japan; and France's Loire Valley.

    Two Dutch television hosts have undergonesimulated labour pains in order to better learnthe pain women go through during childbirth..

    Giant Rubber Duck Floats AroundThe World

    Fantash-tic Dootch Football Cloob

    DISASTROUS England coach Steve McClaren haspicked up a bizarre Dutch accent - weeks after

    moving to the Netherlands. Seemingly unaware

    that most people in the Netherlands speak perfect

    English, he pronounced "club" as "cloob" and

    Dutch as "Dootch". He rambled on: "Big games,Champions League, Arsenal at home, the Emirates,

    will be fantash-tic for the players.We are not just, what you call, underdogs,

    we are massh-ive underdogs."

    Dutch priest displays photo ofChurch quitter

    Actual photowith the article

    >>>

    "This is a large parish, and I don't known everyone: by putting up

    the photo I thought someone might recognise him and try to make

    him stay in the Church,"thepriest told CADS on Tuesday.

    Amsterdamhosts of a show called Guinea Pigs in the Netherlands -

    went through two hours of 'contractions' recreated by electrodes

    attached to their abdomens. Afterwards they simulated being new

    fathers with 10 glasses if Heineken and a large cigar.

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    Oddly Enough Global NewsPope Benedict Resignation Bombshell:

    VATICAN CITY For an institution devoted to eternal light,

    the Vatican has shown itself to be a master of smokescreens

    since Pope Benedict XVI's shock resignation announcement.

    NASA's Mars rover Curiosity has photographed a shiny, metallic-looking

    object that bears a passing resemblance to a door handle or a hood orna-

    ment. Cameras on the 1.5billion Curiosity spotted the mysterious object

    while it prepared to take its first soil sample. But experts suspect the

    object is much more likely to be an early version of the Mike Hayes

    Jokathon Trophy, proving once and for all that there is humour on Mars.

    The Vatican justifies itself by arguing that its officials are holders of

    the divine truth, unaccountable to worldly laws. We can acknowledge,

    however, that it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that hewants to spend more time with his Mexican hat collection.

    IDENTIFIED: Strange Shiny Object

    Found On Mars

    Tinnitus lady has How Much IsThat Doggie In The Windowstuck in her head for threeyearsThey say the devil has all the best tunes but

    if he was looking for a really bad one to inflict

    on sinners in hell, (How Much Is) That Doggie

    In The Window would have to be up there.

    Horse meat scandal: Limited edition Findus beeflasagne for sale oneBay

    A practical joker is attempting to cash in on

    the horse meat scandal after listing a limited

    edition Findus beef lasagne for sale on eBay.

    The innovative salesperson priced the frozen

    ready meal at 70, urging bidders on the online

    auction site to act fast to secure the item which

    is no longer on sale in shops.

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    Chairm

    ans

    CornerFeb Issue 2013

    WATERSHello sailors!

    This month we have a nauticaltheme. Dr Willem Bijleveld,who some may remember as afellow member, is coming to

    talk to us. Formerly responsiblefor the Madame Tussaudsmuseum, he is now algemeendirecteur of theScheepsvartmuseum

    If Willems talk enthuses you

    for things nautical, you may like to know there are plans for a

    Royal Navy ship to visit Amsterdam later in the year, and we

    are discussing with them the possibility of inviting all CADS

    members to a reception on board.

    In other news, Lord and Lady Almelo are off to Buck House

    next month to see HM. We want to give them a good send

    off, and are also planning a celebratory event later in the

    year so that medals can be worn

    Amongst the continuing tragedies

    and poor results there was some

    excellent news this month.

    Exports from the UK to The

    Netherlands are up, and based on

    provisional results we rank onceagain as the 3rd largest trading

    partner with the UK, just a whisker

    ahead of the dreaded France, who

    held the position in 2011.

    MIKE

    Amongst other news this month, several more corrupt

    police officers have been arrested by the team

    investigating phone hacking, and former Liberal cabinet

    minister Chris Huhne pleaded guilty to perverting the

    course of justice and is now awaiting a custodial sentence

    following the example set by former Tory minister

    Jonathan Aitken. If you hadnt heard of Chris Huhne

    before, hes the guy who stood as Liberal party leader in

    2007 and was beaten by a whisker by a young upstart

    called Nick Clegg.

    To bolster and build on this, and help a few of the 200,000 British SMEs

    who have never exported anything, member Benno Pieters and his

    partner have published anew bookon how to start exporting to Europe

    without spending a fortune. Do take a look at it.

    Benno will have a few co ies for sale at the lunch.

    (see figure on next page).

    Finally, for those of you following Asil Nadirs case, you might like to

    know he is now asking for a transfer to serve the rest of his 10-year

    sentence in Cyprus perhaps on his large and luxurious estate?

    Apparently the deal is possible; if he pays back 5m GBP

    of the 150m GBP he stole.

    CADS CHAIRMAN TO ROB BANK.

    Personally I like the logic, and am planning a major bank heist in

    London. When I successfully steal 150m GBP, and in the unlikely eventthat the Met has sufficient officers not yet in jail themselves that

    happen to catch me and get me to trial, I can buy a get out of jail free

    card for less than 3% of the proceeds.

    Asil Nadirs defence team cost 1m GBP last year, on top of

    similar prosecution costs. All funded by UK taxpayers, as

    Mr Nadir has no assets.

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    Where UK's exports go