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Dutch and UK news oddities from both sides of our cod-less pond

NOV ISSUE 2012

CADS EPO T

Non compos mentis

I feel likea bat downhere in OZ

I think something

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Oddly Enough Anglo Dutch NewsBigfoot-like creature spotted inTunbridge Wells

Tunbridge Wells -- Residents of the

upmarket Royal Tunbridge Wells

claim they have a giant ape-like

beast running around the nearby

countryside. The 8ft creature, said

to have "demonic" red eyes and long

arms, was spotted by a walker in the

woods beside the town's common.The man told the Sun he ran off

after the beast roared at him.

Bletchingley, Surrey The coded message had been carefully

filed in a small red capsule and attached to a carrier pigeon to

be delivered 70 years ago. But instead of arriving safely at its

destination, the unfortunate bird got stuck in a chimney en-

route and lost. The message was found earlier this month by

homeowner David Martin, who ripped out a f ireplace to find the

skeleton while renovating his house in Bletchingley, Surrey.

Historians believe the bird was almost certainly dispatched

from Nazi-occupied France on June 6, 1944, during the D-Day

invasions. The mysterious message, which was written in

unfamiliar code, was passed to Government Communications

Headquarter (GCHQ) in Cheltenham, Glos, in the hope a contem-

porary professional codebreaker could decipher the words.

Rotterdam -- Three top Dutch medical schools are asking for

travellers to tropical countries to donate stool samples on their

return home for a medical study. The study will look into the

rise in antibiotic-resistant bacterial infections in the Netherlandsand will focus mainly on travellers to Asia and Africa. The

Netherlands is known for its strict control of the use of

antibiotics for fear of building up resistance to them.

Poo wanted for Dutch scientific study

Amsterdam Towns in the Netherlands are considering whether to heat

their cycle lanes. The scheme plans to use geo-thermal energy to prevent

ice forming on the paths, which would encourage them to be used more in

the winter. The scheme is reported to cost between 26,000 and 52,000

per mile. (Er?...where have we heard that before?)

Dutch towns to heat cycle lanes?

Veteran Bletchley Park codebreakers try to

decipher mystery D-Day pigeon message

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Oddly Enough Global News$4.2 million for Christmas tree?

Well, it is made of gold...

TOKYO -- For those seeking a glow to

their Christmas this year, a jewelry

store in downtown Tokyo has just the

answer: a pure gold revolving "tree"

covered in Disney characters such as

Mickey Mouse, Tinker Bell and

Cinderella. The tree-like ornament ismade of 88 pounds of pure gold,

standing nearly 8 feet high and 3 feet

in diameter. It is decorated with pure

gold-plate silhouette cutouts of 50

popular Disney characters and draped

with ribbons made of gold leaf.

LONDON (Reuters) -Growing into a fully formed human

being is a long process, and scientists have found that

unborn babies not only hiccup, swallow and stretch in the

womb, they yawn too.

God this womb is boring

ConnecticutWild turkeys seem to know that Thanksgiving is

right around the corner and they are fighting back in Connecticut.

Marcos Carreras, of Farmington, Conn., was on his way to work

at Kingswood Oxford School on Wednesday morning when one

menacing turkey he refers to as "Frankenturkey" went after one

car, then came right up to his driver's side window and actually

pecked the door. The fowl encounter happened between Old

Mountain Road and Talcott Notch and

Frankenturkey attacked onHalloween as well, Carreras said.

Rhode Island -- Two brown pelicans blown to Rhode Island by thewinds of Hurricane Sandy were flying back Saturday to their

natural habitat in Florida -- via a private plane."They were a little

bit thin, they were a little beat up from the storm," Brooks said of

the birds.

Pelicans blown north by Sandy get ride hometo Floridain a private jet

Sweden (Reuters)- A woman in Sweden has been charged withengaging in sexual activities with a human skeleton and could face jail

time for disturbing the peace of the dead, a Swedish prosecutor said.

Swedish woman charged for sexual activities with skeleton

As Thanksgiving nears,

'Frankenturkey'

attacks in

Connecticut

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by

Chairm

ans

CornerNov Issue 2012

WATERS

Whilst her daughter trashedthe Cheshire house, holdingnumerous boozy parties to

which police had to be called,and her half-baked Gorgeousbeauty business went belly up

leaving staff and suppliersunpaid, Nadine got herself

selected to a safe seat, using

her charms to ensure shewas recommended to theconstituency by her new top

Tory pals.

Ms Dorries is 56.

At the October lunch we had a riveting and shockingaddress by Mark Cook, founder of the charity Hopeand Homes for Children, who showed a short filmabout the treatment of war children in orphanagesin Central Europe. There was nary a dry eye in thehouse by the end, and we were fortunate to be able

to support his work by presenting him with a chequefor 1,000 Euros, in addition to the usual small gift.

During the lunch, members were asked to discuss ideas

for our charitable giving, and whether we should have

luncheon speakers. The summary of the feedback was:

Charities members prefer to leave this to the commit-

tee. Speakers prefer good speakers, or none. Some

lunches without speakers are fine.

HMS Elfin

Last Saturday, 8 of the more hardy CADS joined HMS

Elfin on her trip to Wormerveer, after dropping off

Sinter Klaas and 100 Zwarte Piets at Zaandam. A great

time was had by all, as well as large quantities of

mulled wine and pepernoten.

Jarige Job

At the 30th November lunch we will be addressed by Jarige Job,the charity which supports bir thday parties for kids whoseparents use the Voedselbank. We gave them half of the proceeds

of our Jubilee Ball raffle earlier in the year, and it will beinteresting to hear how they spent it.

In other news the EU budget is under discussion. They want a 10%

increase from member nations. What will Mr Rutte do? Our Voorscho-

ten library and swimming pool are facing funding cuts of 25% and

30% respectively. My view is to stop all further contributions until

the previous EU accounts are approved. What do you think? As for

David Cameron, can someone tell him to shut up until the bidding

starts? He wants a zero increase, he says. What a wimp!

MIKEThe next financial scandal

has broken cover.

HSBC is identified as the crooks favourite

bank, after an internal whistleblower sent

details of 4,388 suspicious Jersey account

holders to the Inland Revenue

The list includes drug runners and arms

dealers on the run from police, several former

bankers on remand for fraud, and various

computer spammers and fraudsters.

Additionally, there are whole teams of invest-

ment bankers on the list, although it is not

yet clear whether any of them have failed to

disclose their holdings. HMRC is investigating

Nadine Dorries is outrageous.

She made her money charging Liverpool council

for providing residential care to penniless pen-

sioners and to working Mums to look after

their kids. This little deal was very profitable,

so whilst husband Paul built newer and bigger

houses to fill, she worked on selling housefuls

of pensioners to BUPA for a ridiculous amount

of money. . Next she set up shop in Prestburyand destroyed a perfectly good retail business,

employing a team of Polish workmen to knock it

about, flooding the chemist next door with sew-

age, driving her husband to alcoholism, and fi-

nally abandoning her 15 year old daughter in a

rented house in the village whilst she partied

from her Cotswolds house (neighbours

Rebekah Wade and Dave Cameron) to get

herself selected as a Tory MP.