Almost 200 feet below, the placid, dry season waters of the Mekong meandered toward Cambodia. Noah and I leaned

against the warm railing, watching the place where we’d just emptied our father’s ashes. Nothing is impossible with God, but during the previous fall I’d imagined my brother and I standing here, midway between the countries of Thailand and Laos, fulfilling this final request. My dad, Ross, had passed away a few days ago and ended his painful two-year struggle with lung cancer.

He passed away at Bumrungrad International Hospital in Bangkok, Thailand in the early morning hours of March 3, a few days before his 59 birthday. During his short life he was passionate for the gospel, unashamed, and truly an example to Noah and me. His life, however, was far from perfect and was full of struggle… a struggle he didn’t surrender until the final hour. I believe it was easier for us to let go in the end than it was for him. He believed passionately that he belonged in Vietnam, bringing truth and building into the local church.

Bangkok was the best option for his treatment and it pained him to be away from where he felt needed. He was frustrated with the feeling of wasting his hard-earned language mastery, but the lack of adequate medical facilities in Vietnam left him little choice. As difficult as his situation was to understand at the time, it’s easy to look back now and see the Lord’s hand. He took advantage of his final years by sharing the gospel with fellow patients and local Thais and by getting involved in a small local church.

As a result, a local hairdresser, Mae, came to faith (a great story I hope to chronicle someday), the Branch Church and its pastor were greatly encouraged, and Chuck, a fellow cancer patient my dad befriended in his last few months, exchanged an idol faith for an incorruptible eternity. In his final years the Lord allowed him to be fruitful within these various fields and to leave a lasting impact.

Throughout my youth and until the day he finally returned to the field, my dad yearned to go back to full time ministry. He was in his element in Vietnam; it was exactly where he wanted to be. It wasn’t surprising, then, when he asked Noah and me to spread his ashes in a river that would carry them throughout Southeast Asia, emptying eventually in south Vietnam. He doesn’t have a tombstone, but the region his heart was so fixed to indelibly bears his mark ... and that of his savior.

The Brennan Bugle~ Christmas 2012 ~

On the banks of the South China Sea

At the university in Saigon where he studied Vietnamese

In his Bangkok flat; the last time I was with him

Delivering a message at the Branch Church

With Logan in Cambodia

In Papua New Guinea with his eldest son

• ziplined through jungles of Thailand

• played weekly basketball at CSU

• spent quality time with his dad in February

• summitted his first 14er

• visits from China friends

• swim lessons

• taught Taya to say “Salve geese” and “Vale geese” (hi and goodbye in Latin)

• on May 3rd “We haven’t taken a bath since April!”

• lost 5 teeth (4 with some help from the dentist)

• “Thank you for the Chinese and all their inventions”

• after Andy asks him to stop splashing “But I’m Poseidon and I’m angry.”

• learned to whistle

• “Dad, I love you more than a rap song”

• potty trained/ no more cribs and changing tables at our house :(

• served herself a glass of maple syrup

• sings the ABC’s

• “Look at that pretty motorcycle! His helmet has sparkles!”

• googly eye removed from her nose by ENT

• “God is like a smiley face, because He likes me.”

• taught herself to snap

• thought her last name was Doodle

• “I burped. I was like ‘eh.’”

• “Taya keeps telling on me.”

• potty trained/ no more cribs and changing tables at our house :(

• served herself a glass of maple syrup

• sings the ABC’s

• “Look at that pretty motorcycle! His helmet has sparkles!”

• googly eye removed from her nose by ENT

• “God is like a smiley face, because He likes me.”

• taught herself to snap

• thought her last name was Doodle

• “I burped. I was like ‘eh.’”

• “Taya keeps telling on me.”

• started to read like a pro!

• “It would be wonderful to be in the stars”

• swim lessons

• took Worship Dance classes

• observed a nearby farmer with goats and donkeys, “I didn’t know baby donkeys were goats!”

• loves people and daily asks for a countdown for how many days until BSF, Life group, dance, REAL moms, etc.

• still our tall beauty—over the 95% percentile in height

• finished Acts BSF study and started Genesis study

• joined servant team for mom’s group at church (hospitality)

• started homeshooling Taya

• summitted her first 14er

Much of our married lives has involved quite a lot of travel and business. This year was “busy,” as American lives always seem to demand, but it was also a more calm and reflective year than I have experienced in a while. I reflected on how to live a more meaningful and purposeful life in the wake of Ross’ death. I thoroughly enjoy the opportunity to be a stay-at-home mom and have plenty of time to try and tap into the Lord’s patience, peace, gentleness, and self-control that I so often lack.

Andy and I completed a 10-week Biblical Distinctives class through our church to study what God’s word says about some basic Christian theology and a couple of things that make our church unique. We enjoyed lots of out-of-town guests as usual and are so thankful that people continue to visit and enjoy Colorado with us. Andy and I each spent a weekend this year in Estes Park at our church’s men’s and women’s retreats.

Other than a short camping trip, and Andy’s annual Thailand trip, we spent the majority of the year in Fort Collins. It seems our kids really miss the road trips and travel and Taya wants to know when we’re moving. We are hoping to squeeze in one road trip at the end of the month to see Phoenix friends. And it’s hard to say when God will move us elsewhere. We’re perfectly content with where He has us now, but we also paid off the remainder of our debt (other than mortgage) this year, so we are free to go if and when He leads! Exciting!

A Year of Rest and ReflectionKatrina