Bad client speak: A translation of the things freelance clients say
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Transcript of Bad client speak: A translation of the things freelance clients say
what
By a bunch of freelance copywriters
I have an urgent job...!
Translation:
I am shit at timelines and keeping to them
Tell me about what you do
Translation:
I haven't read your website
There's great reward for the right person
Translation:
I don't have budget to pay you
I like to get to know who I am working with
Translation: I haven't quite worked out what I am doing and want to use you as a sounding board
This thing is going to be bigger than Facebook. We want you to take the journey with us and reap the rewards
Translation: I may never pay or credit you, unless you lawyer-up
BIGGER THAN
I've been flat out/in the office on my own/the dog's got a cold
Translation: I haven't been arsed to read your proposal/your first draft, or put in the starting deposit
It won't need rewriting, just a bit of editing
Translation: It's utterly appalling and should be deleted and never spoken of again.
Please call me to discuss
Translation: I don't really have a clue yet what I'm doing so I'd like to talk rather than write so I can stay vague.
I want you to write copy like my competitor. But not as my competitor, as me.
Translation: I am really not sure why I am in business or why you should choose me over the other guy.
I have done a rough draft to get you started
Translation: I have cut + pasted my top competitor's content into a Word doc for you
Would you mind taking a quick look at this
Translation: Would you please work on my project for free?
We don't have any competitors
Translation: I'm too lazy to have done any market research.
None of my marketing seems to be working
Translation: I've tried nothing and I'm out of ideas
Can we meet to discuss the project?
Translation: I'm going to pick your expensive brains for the price of a coffee and then do all the work myself to save money
Can we do this over the phone?
Translation: I don’t want to put it in writing so I can quibble about specifications later.
I have an idea for a website and...
Translation: I want to be in business for myself, I just haven’t thought of the business yet
UNASHAMEDLY CREATIVE
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