ALTOONA, Hflcrt' · al applause whichgreetedherappearance, one oftheboatmen slapped hiscompanion on...
Transcript of ALTOONA, Hflcrt' · al applause whichgreetedherappearance, one oftheboatmen slapped hiscompanion on...
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I write their noma*'h' T reside plainly)FKJXiCO., 'I'ilije Gazette,. uiff I York Cay.
JEST PRQ-Ai IAISST TIIOSKon and other fiirap-exposed state oftb#tjunl '
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MoCRUM & ALLISON, {independent in everything.]
VOL. S. ALTOONA, PA., THURSDAY, APRIL 15, 1858.
THE ALTOONA TRIBUNE.V McCKX7M A AItUSON,. Publfchera uul Proprietor*. Hflcrt' Well, to make a long story short, just
before daylights, my charmer and I wentdashing home iu greatstyle. On arrivingthere, I went ih, of course, and she tookme in a where was a fire anda bed. Holy Moses! thought I, intowhosehands haveI fallen V Itwas her bed room !Oh, Eve, Eve, you horrible first applecater! how tHosex goes to it naturally!Well, she got off her hat and sat down towarm her feet.; After a while she fixed hereyes on me, and said in a tone of mingledwonder and dissatisfaction ?.
‘What in the name of all that’s natral,are you about Yorker? Are you goin' tosit gawkin’ there all night—say ? Off withthem ere muddy boots, to wonst, and gitready to puddle!’
‘ Why,’ said I, totally unable to under-stand her, ‘ mutt I take off my boots be-fore I can puddle V
‘Why,thunderation,yes yergreatskeertcalf,’ she exclaimed, ‘you cant get in bedwith your boots on can you V
‘ Bed/ queried I, beginning to growalarmed, ‘ excuse me, I don’t understandyou. I’d rather not bundle, if it’s all thesame to you. I ain’t well. I—l want togo to York to-nigbt the worst kind !’
‘ ou do, hey V said she snappish!}’,‘ well if you stir one peg out of this ereshantce 111 you’ve bundled, I’ll set thedogs on you. Gome, get ready to bundle !
Off with them boots or it will be wuss foryou!’
Frightening Children. Look out Tor the Bridge!—A The*atfieal Incident.
Per ammtß, (payable invariably in advance,) $1,50AU papers diacontinoed at the expiration of tbe time
paid for.
We know of nothing more reprehensi-ble, nothing more dangerous and injurious,than the practice of frightening childrenin the nursery, at thel family fireside, andin the social circle, by relating to themghost stories, goblin tales, and witchcraftfictions. They receive painful Impres-sions from which their nervous systemdoes not recover for years, perhaps notduring their whole lives.
Children and young folks have general-ly great curiosity in relation to these talesof the imagination, especially when theyare attended by some gossipping nurse,whose head, being empty of good sense,has been filled brim full of ghost legendsand black letter recollections. We hap-pen to know something about this matterby a most unhappy and'painful experi-ence. We know what melancholy effectsattend these revelations of goblins andghosts in the nursery. We have even now,while we a dim, shuddering recol-lection of tnese appalling horrors, whichmakes the blood chill, creep and curdleabout the heart—even after the finger oftime has planted furrows on the brow, andsown silver threads in the hair. It wasthe practice of a full grown hoy of nine-teen or twenty years of age, (we are cer-tain he never became a man') to take thewriter upon his knee (then three or fouryears old,) when the twilight was gradu-ally fading into darkness, veil his face witha black handkerchief, and then, for ourespecial edification, affirm that he was theunmentionable personage who is supposedto be no better than he should be. Thenwould follow a long dissertation upon witch-es, ghosts, hobgoblins, a whole family ofhorrible monstrosites, by way of givingtone to the infantile imagination. Thelessons operated upon the young mind likea potent spell. Soon it became as muchas the life.was worth to attempt to cross adark entry after nightfall. If left alonein a sleeping apartment, the avenue to theeyes was carefully barricaded by the pillowand bed-clothes ; there, panting, trembling,shivering, huge drops of cold perspirationoozing out at ever}' pore, the writer lay afull believer in all monstrous shapes andterrible forms, the shuddering victim of amost cruel delusion, at times but a singleremoval from a maniac
▲Bundling Scrape. Some years ago, the manager of a ‘ wellregulated theatre’ somewhere along theline of the Erie Canal, engaged a goodlooking and brisk young lady -as supernu-merary. It happened that the young la-dy in question had formerly officiated insome capacity as a ‘ hand ’ on.hoard a ca-nal boat, a fact which ,she was extremelyanxious to conceal. She evinced muchanxiety to master the details of her newlychosen profession, and soon exhibited amore than ordinary degree of comic tal-ent, She was duly promoted,' and in ashort time became a general favorite withboth manager and public.
One night she was antfounced to appearin a favorite part, and a couple of boat-men found their way into the pit, near thefootlights, particularly anxious to see thenew comedienne. The house .was crowd-ed, and after the subsidence pf the gener-al applause which greeted her appearance,one of the boatmen slapped his companionon the shoulder, and with an eujphatic ex-pletive, exclaimed loud enough to bo heardover the house:
naiu or advwwzjwo.
l iosertioD 2 do. Z do.Boor linafcor taw, SS6 | 8J& $5OUgeuuiini)( li ttaHf) 60 76 1,00Two “ (16 “ ) 100 160 200Three « (24 “ ) V5O 200 250
Oter three weak* and lew than throemonth*, 25centspertor each Insertion. ,
‘gossip/ in the New York Dispatchgives the • following description of “ ABundling Scrape
I bavn’t a word to say against Jones,not li; nor against Brown, either; but ifyou wish to sec a real character just getacquainted with our Smith. Oh, I prom-ise you he is qn “ old.” He is one ofthe direct descendants of the immortalJohn, who 4 fit, bled and died’ more forhis country, iperhaps, than any other boyor main of hip size. The Tact is, while aboy, he was always fighting and bleedingin view of which fact you will be surpris-ed to learn that he always was and still isthe veriest coward in the presence of awoman.
S month*. 0 months. 1 year.StarUflMortoH, 11 60 $ 3 00 $ 6 00Ono square, 2 50 4 00 7 00<Cwo » 4 00 6 00 10 00thras" 6 00 8 00 12 00Pour « « 00 10 00 U 00Half a. wfjMMi. 10 00 , 14 00 20 00One column* 14 CO 26 00 40 00
*•" AdmlnUteators-aml Executors Notices, 176Mercbafats advertising by. the year, three equate*,\ with liberty to change,
„
10 00Professional or Bnsinesa Garde, not exceeding 8 !
linos, ■with paper, per year. 6 00Communications of apolitical character or Individual in-
terest ■yUl he charged according to thoabovoratee.Advertisements not marked with the number of insertions
desired, Will bo continued tillforbid and charged accordingto theabove terms.
Business notice* live cent* per linefor every insertion.Obituary noticesexceeding ten lines;fifty cents asquare.
Smith’s roosting dormitory is just tworooms from ours, and it is curious to hearhim lock the do«Jr at night, then put a ta-ble before it, then a chair on top of thatagain, for fear, I suppose, that some fe-male somnambulist might take it iu herhead to give Ihim a call.
Bless me, howlred he gets in the face,When we speak, td him. Why, the youngwoman who helps the family with thehousework, (they don’t keep a servant,)is almost afraid to ask him for buttons,when she needs them, to put on the bosomof his shirt, and when she takes up to himhis clean clothes, she has towrap the shirtsup in a paper.
PROSPECTUSOP %UM
ALTOONA TRIBUNE.‘ Bill, I know that gal!’‘ Pshaw !’ saidßill, ‘ dry up. 1
«Ptnz CASH SYSTJEJtf ADOPTED!‘ But I’m d d if I dolu’t now, Bill.
It’s Sal Fluking, as sure as you’re born.She’s old Flukins’ daughter; that used torun the ‘lnjured Polly/ and she used tosail with him.’ 1 ■
The Cheapest Paper ib the County!With the present number, the Tribune has ca-
tered upbn its thlnl volume. Commenced at a
lime when the confidence of the citiiens of Al-toona in newspapers and newspaper publisherswas considerably shaken, ifnot totally annihila-ted, it has slowly but surely restored that con-fidence, and now stamls upon a sure foundation,
and is universally acknowledged to be one ofthe fixed institutions of our town. But thisre-sult has not been achieved without a hard strug-
gle, and considerable expenditure of time andmeans on the port of its editors. The steadyincrease of patronage, however, has afforded in-dubitable evidence that their labors have been ap-
1 Oh, heavens, spare me my dear younglady !’ I exclaimed.
r I wont, said she. ‘ do you ’sposo I’m agoiu’ to be fooled that way ? E\ crybodydoes it in Jarsey, and I know they do it inYork, too. You cant cheat me, you meancuss I mebbey they call it some other name,though!’
Well, I had to take off my boots, andthen she insistedXon my getting in bedwith her. She was already there.
‘Oh Lord !’ exclaimed I, ‘1 must goout! lam dreadful sick\at the stomach ! Idon’t want to bundle '( Ltold you 1 didn'tknow how!’ \
She got mad us aturkey cqck, and jump-ing out of bed she opened the door andcalled for ‘ Bouncer’ and ‘ Wolf,’ and Imade a break for the door. I was in mysocks, but I tiew over the soil likethe wind.The dogs were so close that I could feeltheir teeth in imagination. Presently oneseized a skirt of my coat, and off it came,of course. I never slackened my speed,but shortly afterwards a mouthful of pant-aloons was seized, and, oh I horror ! thatwent the way of my coat tail. By thistime the demon was aroused within meand I veiled like an Indian, and turninjrlike a hunted stag, I stood at bay,grappledwith the nearest; brute, and we came to themad together.- Over and over we went,growling, sweating, tearing and ripping.Bunches of dogdiair and shreds of miscel-laneous clothing were all mixed up togeth-er, and just, as I had given up to die, afriendly knife was put into the brute’sthroat by my chum, who had opportunelycome along from some house where he badbeen bundling. We quickly dispatchedthe other dog, and then in an awful plightI had to walk three .miles, ‘ weak andwounded, sick andsore,’ before we got toaplace of shelter. I never went back. Iwas determined not toencounter the JerseyVenus again, arid never did. Since thattime I bare been more fearful ofa womanthan of a she briar robbed of her cubs. Itdosn’t make a bit 1 of difference where theyhail from, they arc all alike. lam afraid6f them all. Sometimes when I think ofa married life, and! wonder if ever I willcome to that, ari iWrful sound smites myear, and bundle! drives it out of my mindaltogether.
‘Well, Smith,’ said I, ‘I thank you foryour narrative, but you might have betterluck the nest time.* ‘ Never !’ exclaimedhe and he-left' the room.
-1 Tom/said Bill, ‘you’re a fool, and if
you don’t stop your infernal clack, you’llget put out. Sal Flukins! You know usight if you'think that’s her ?’Poor Smith, it makes one melancholy
to think of it. I don’t suppose he everdreams of such a thing as marrying—infact, ,1 don’t believe he could entertainsuch a tho’t and keep his balance. I askedhim one day if he had always been so, andhis reply was that he got awfully fright-ened once by a nice young woman, afterwhich experience he fought shy of thewhole tribe. After trying in vain to reasonhim out of his foolish predjudice, I insis-ted upon his relating to rao the incidentwhich had so steeled him against the sof-ter sex.
Torn was silenced but not convinced.—He watched the actress in all her motionswith intense interest, and ere long brokeout again.
‘ I tell ye, Bill, that’s her-n-I know ’tisYou can’t fool me—I know too well!’
Bill, who was a good deal interested inthe play, was out of all patierioe at this
Eersistent interruption on thepatt of Tom.lc gave him a tremendous nudge in the
ribs with his elbow, as an emphatic hint'to keep quiet. i
Tom, without minding the admonition,said, ‘ you just wait, I’ll fix her—keepyour eye ou her.' j
Sure enough he did fix her. Watchinghis opportunity whenthe actress was deep-ly absorbed in her part he sung out in avoice which rung through the-galleries:
‘ Low Bridge!’
, dated.•In entering upon the new volume it is almost
unnecessary to say that the Tribune will coutiri-ne to-be “Ikubtbxdext ix Everythiko,” be-ing biassed neither by fear, favor nor affection,
in favor of parties or sects. In this respect itis only necessary to say that the past affords a
fair index as to our future course.
‘ Well,' said he at length, with a sigh,“if I must, hut you are the only one towhom I would relate the story, for youdont belong to the ‘Prunes and Prism’school.” ‘ Thank-ce. sir,’ I replied—‘ pro-ceed, if you please—l am all attention !’‘ Well,’ he continued, ‘it is about threeyears since a chum of mine asked me toaccompany him just back of B , iutheState of New Jersey, to a quilting frolic.Now, I had always entertained a particu-lar aversion tp Jersey mud, Jersey light-ning and Jersey dogs, but as I had neverbeen present sit an assemblage of Jerseybelles, and as a quilting frolic was some-thing which I had often heard my mother—heaven bless her I—tell about, I deter-mined to know what it was by personalexperience. reached the scene of ac-tion in good time, assisted in tearing thequilt from the frame and throwing it overa grist of plump girls, thereby disarrang-ing their hair and other fixins awfully.—.This fun lasted some time, and Ishouldn’twonder if in the course of it, they all gotkissed. After a while the fiddler came,and we went into dancing with a will, andan understanding also. Phew I the sweatstreamed down our faces, and we had nearlyshook ourselves out ofour trousers—hooksand eyes were lying around loose, and near-ly every girl was backing herself up toSome other girl to get pinned up. Thatwas what they called a, ‘ square eight.’—We got along amazingly, and in the courseof the evening I managed to get prettythick with, a certain for, red cheeked,roguish-eyed damsel, who didn’t need any-wadding to bring her into proper shape—-her hand was fat and warm as arabbit—and I felt all over as though briarswere sticking in me when I took hold ofit to chasso her around and cjos-a-dos herback. !
"
“ After the performance was concluded, Igot into a corner with the beauty, and be-gan sparking hey like fun. T likened herto a goddess, and told her that to gainher love I would go in my shirt-tail to theends of the earth. Well, shekinder puck-ered up her mouth, and looking at me,said:
Those terrible night time solitudes, thedarkness peopled by the imagination withspectres the most terrific, how vividly dothey come back, even now in the days ofmaturcr judgment and riper reason, neverto he erased from the recollection by thehand of time ! If there is a worse condi-tion upon earth than that into which thismonstrous superstition { lunges an imagi-native child, we have no conception of itscurdling horrors. Never to lay the headupon the pillow, from the time it is two orthree years of age, until, seven, eight orten, without feeling the most perfect assu-rance in its own mind of realizing its ownprophecy, and seeing some hideous spectrebefore morning! This is the purgatory ofearly, innocent and otherwise happy child-hood.
It has always been our aim to make the Tri-tync,.a reliable first-class Local Pater, as we
believe tliat in that character alone, country pa-pers can successfully compote with their flashycity neighbors. - To this end we have securedcorrespondents in various parts of the county,who furnish us with all the items of local inter-est in their vicinity. We purpose adding othersto out list as soon as we can obtain them. Du-ring the next year we shall redouble our effortsto .make the Tribune a perfect , compendium ofHome News—a reliable, pinsTrULAsa LocalPater, second to none in the country, and assuch a welcome weekly visitor to our patrons,
whether at home or abroad.But while the Local Department shall be our
special care, we shall also demote a considera-ble space to Literary Matter, Fcn axd Hu-mor, and the .chronicling of events of generalinterest to our readers. We purpose also pub-lishing from time to time “Original Sketches'ofMen and Things ” Which will be furnished byour contributors. We have made arrangementsalso to have a weekly letter from Philadelphia,and judgingfrom the reputation our correspon-,
sustains as a popular writer, these letterswiU be a rich treat to ourreaders.
As wrare decidedly journalists of the pro-gressive school, we have concluded to adopt thecash system id our business. The neglect ofquite a number ofour patrons to pay upprompt-ly, *nd the rascality of others, has compelledns to adopt this course. Time ,and experiencehas fully proved to our satisfaction that the'•cketlit system will not work with newspaperpublishers. From this date no paper will becent from this office, unless paid for in advance,pud at the' expiration of the time paid for, ifnot renewed, will be promptly stopped. Thisarrangement does no injustice to our patrons,whUkit will protect us from ;the impositions of
soilless scoundrels, and enable us to devotemore attention to our paper. ■
From force of habit the actress instant-ly and involuntarily ducked her head toavoid the anticipated collision. Downcame the house-with a perfect thunder ofapplause at this palpable ‘hit/ high abovewhich Tom’s voice could be, heard as hereturned Bill’s punch in the jibs with in-terest :
‘ Didn't I tell ye, old bby. I know''twas her. You can’t fool nie.’
How to Settle an Accocnt--—Tosettle coffee with an egg is an easy matter;but it is not exactly .so easy to settle anold account, as a racy writer En Otsegocoh'nty, New York, shows in this letter :
‘ Seldom have I been more amused thanwhen, some two years ago, Upon the NorthFork of the Salmon river, in California, Ioverheardaconversationbetween.au honestminer, named Riley, and one Mike Don-nelly, a trader whom it seethed Riley wasindebted some $5O to for provisions. SaidDonnelly to Riley—-
“ You ought to pay this little bill, foryou know I trusted you when |no othertrader on the river would. . ‘Cpme, nowI’ll throw of half, ifyou’ll pay ■ the rest.
‘ Well, Mike,’ said Riley, * I’ll be hang-ed if I’ll allow you to be more liberalthan I am. Ifyou throw offone half I’llthrow off the other!
These midnight horrors haunt the im-agination even to old age. They may losesomewhat of their painful vividness, theirappalling distinctness-—something of theircurdling horror, so potent in its mysteryand so terrific even in its impossibility—
but these terrors linger in the imagina-tion still, ready to he called up in everysuspicious spot, awakened in every soli-tude, in spite of all the judgment can door the reason can urge. For a moment, atcertain times, even to old age, the heartwill throb with painful distinctness, thehair will become perpendicular, and a dis-agreeable shudder will make the bloodcold in the veins, even when manhoodhasreached its prime. To be sure the judg-ment soon dispels these unfounded fears,but they will haunt the victim at times tohis dying day. These are some of thepainfully deleterious effects of frighteningchildren in the earlyseason oftheir growth.How important is it, that parents shouldguard them against these groundless ter-rors, exciting the early imagination, andchaining the trembling victim to the in-describable agony of this nervous bondagefor all its future life.
‘■But that don’t settle my account.’‘ Then break an egg into it !’• said Ri-
ley, and eooly walked off. ■ ■A Shabp Hoosier.—Oliver H. Smithgives this incident in the early history ofIndiana: At the Kush Circuit Court myfriend Judge Kerry bargained for a ponyfor $25 to he [delivered the next day, on acredit of, six months. The man camewith thc pppy, but required security ofthe judge fbr|s2s. The judge .drew thenote at the tqp bf a sheet of foolscap, andsigned it. Tjsigned it; James Earidansigned it and handed it on, and on itwentfrom lawyer to lawyer around the bar, till-some twenty ofus had signed it. I thenhanded it ujp to;; the Court, and the threejudges put their names to it JudgePetrly prcaented it to the man he bad boughtthe pony of, but he promptly refused it,saying : ‘ Dw|F£ybu think lam a fool tolet you get this Court and all the lawyerson your stdhi jl see you intend tb cheatmfe opt nf jmyfpphy^ , tip he jumped,
jpahy; and started for hoimeatduU 1
The Marshall (Textd))Rcpttbli€antells of an qld negro, ‘ Hard;’yyho suppliesthat town with fuel:
‘ Hard ’ is really a good looking custo-mer and understands the science of load-ing a wagon to the best advantage. Re-cently, we were struck with admiration atone of his conical piles, through the in-terstices ofwhich a . large, fat than mighthave crawled with case and safety.
‘Hard/ said we, fyoh certainly possessthe talent for loading a wagon/ ■'
'
/
Old Hard’s eyes twinkled with delightat the compliment,, and surveying -withpleasure his loaded i Tyagpfy >he:- tgrpedtous, exposing his iyorios, ahdr^lmd.
‘ Oh, yes; massdj jhtit da's no habina takm -less it pays well. -5 : / *
Becognizing, the principle that contracts tobe satisfactory should be fraught with mutualbenefit to both parties, and as money in largeamounts, in advance, is of more value to us thanwhen received in driblets, as an induce-ment to numbers who would otherwise discon-tinuous well as to those who .hate never yet.
wo offer it at the followingcantingyear t
one year $1.50
at tkaaainerate—sl percopy.Ihe must, is off. fa»a, accompany the
0p4«.: ..■-■■■■■■:
.Bythe abdvett wiU be seen that our paper
is emphatioallythe cheapw* Vthe county.—As to its merits we leave In to the jinbiict*. de-cide. Weearnestlyrequestout the county to “give as a-Uftf” --as-wovhiteno doubt each of them can readily qhtoin«
in their neighborhood.
‘ Look-a-here, Yorker, have you a mindto gohwne with me to-night ?’
‘ Oh, my charming, divine Hebe, re-turned I, that would be tod much bliss I’
‘Pshal'jreplied she, ‘no hiiss at allabout it. Km you bundle, say ?'
/BunßersaTdX soipesb|tt.puzzled,: < Idon’tknow .as t pver tried it. Is it hardto dof ' *
V
I Non Conductors,—Colonel Jones is agentleman and a wit. The other day hewas showing the town to some ladies fromthe steeple of the Court-House. One ofthese asking him why the lightning-rod,where it was attached to the building forsupport, was incased in a piece' of horn,the Colonel replied that horn was a non-conductor. ‘Oh, judged!’says the lady;‘ I never knovr that before/ ‘ To be sure,-says the Colonel. j 1 Have you never* ob-servod that when the J>oyshave had ahornOrtvo thpj tan- 1 comfortthemselves prop-erly'?’ ; The great height fropa the ground:
‘ BjardY returned grip,‘ jfknpTO'pn^mbstydurigJfellers finds it.easy ”
‘ Weß'shid you can learn pie,T■.-■i ■ 1
\- . Vv
*ue} tfypu ain’t pokin’ at rfid). ypnp,are behind the age. Don’t they btthdfein York !’ '. . <- ,•'\ • ~,.X Xr'J I never heard that IwißwetPed, ‘ apd to tell you .the truth, I Xeally !
don’tknow what the points are*-/ ■ Md die* ,<KmxMid—Mm,
to-we
•, A; Prayer for ransave mp frojn the sh#hi^! my o^pheart.' t -•
; t
me froth false doctrines, feb® ah-‘thorities and bigd|nes* : ’mand life. '
pnrt oh dnnh»dodeMicsmost admire when devgo to do ctofdj ?’
fWe& i teH ifhftfc datis:can von fodf t
OSF ‘I lave to look upon ft youpg jnam
?^ewm^ahidfenhis breast wguoh charmsand painsipe/ ,
ThedaughterofaclergjTnanhapponingto find the dboTe Scptento at the df
: theiniquity foaWpwh?? ,f /
Have me the overthmgbef»usoit Isstop^ri* v-’k ■ ■ ' '■•Afefve me from au soteialf; Slutcorinntiooa aad> v- &V
Cahvabsers Wasmd.—fiff?eu4evreasimen wanted to nanri^ 1 th*^
♦
EDITORS AND PROPRIETORS.
NO. 11.
‘Got Him Foul.'—Aunt Jenny. was. avery exemplary colored woman, and al-ways felt and allowed much, concern .'forthe future welmre of her numerous chitdren. But little 'Nicholas had po much /
of the ‘OldNick' in him, that, with all iher persuasions andthreats, she oodld not jbring him good-way of saying hisjprayers. One afternoon. Aunt Jenny was ■>startled by hearing loud cries froaa thebarn yard—‘O Dord l* and, hasteningout, ’
she saw young Nick pinned, to theibnoewith the homs-of acow, one on each sideof him, and now and then she vronhllejt.him out, but to ‘bunt’ Idmbadkagain. Nickkept up his cries-*-* Qtoru 1*and all the louderwhen he saw his {both-er coming. But she didn’t interfere;-*—She stopped, took a good look, sot her ,arms a kimbo, and sang out, ‘Oh yea ?
you’s mighty billin’ to call, on do Lordnow.you’s got into trubul nut you couldn’tpray wid your maderlikea’speotablochile I’And turning to the kitchen she left Nickto the tender mercies of the cow, beingquite sure, however, that no serious hamwould come to. him.
Profits of; Tobacco.—There are.fif>ty-six manufacturers ofthe staple iu Bioh*mond, whose United capital amounts tofour or fire millions ofdollars. More to-bacco is raisedj in andropcaojl,inspected and sold inhaps in any one place in the United Stytcs.It is here that'the choicest specunani ofthe weed assumes the shape which com* -
mends it to the regard of devoted ohetresaeverywhere. Tobacco is put up in asmany different ways almost as. there arechcwers. There is as much difference be*tween the ideas of the Yankee and'Southserner on this question oftaste, as there hion any other matter. The former Kkc»the 4 pig-tail ’ plentifully sweetened and.liquoriced to a degree; the latter,sweetning you put in, the bettec theto*bacco. Buyers’congregate here, who pur*chase for all parts of the globe, fofeleagovernments are supplied hy agentswhoreside hero for that purpose.:citizens the road to wealth had Been viatobacco.—Richmond South.
■ •&> At a late ball in Baltimore a g**.tleman (probably one of the codfish arS*%tpcracy,) having danced withdy whose attractions, both personal ' andconversational,, seemed, to have made animpression on his sensibilities, asked tohave the pleasure of sccii&hear ttefol*lowing evening. ; "S v'
* Why, no sir/ i‘I shall be co gaged on tOrmorrow evening;but I’ll tell you when you can see jao£
?
‘ I shall be most happy/stricken swain. '
* ;
‘ Well, on Saturday/resumedlhe tody,‘you can see me at the foot ofmarket, selling cabbage.’ . .
tfaß* Two darkies, one a BapUst, tbe.other a Universalist got into asy about the origin of man.. The &ip*tist said God made Adam put of clay,squeezed it into the right shape, set ittipagin de fence to dry, and aftorwac&bfcV'ed breff into the body.
‘StopT said the Universalist. ‘Yonsay dat de fust man eber made?’ '
‘ Sartin i’ said the Baptist darkey./ Well den, jest tell a feller whardat
arc fence come from V -
r
‘ Hnsh!’ said the other darkey ‘ <juca-dons Tike dat ihnst not be axed; aeywouldspile all de theology in de world? ■ '
A Valuable CANBiiEsnoK—-AnIrish ‘ gintleman/ had occasion tbvisit :
the South sometime since. When .%g>rc*-turned, he remarked to a friend that, theSouthern people were*very extravagant:!Upon being asked why so, he itimiroelrthat where he staid, they had «
stick worth eleven hun<feec('UfoUlin.,
‘ few in the wprld it npstthat mhehr inquired thhmend. “
/‘Gob, be goiry t it'
a hig, stager fellow, a" boldin' "i tbn&itir’us te eat by? ‘ I- V, r;. - : =«I_•>C t . ’
• • -F.r-r- ■ ■ .-
•
:%BLK BO -
man for not tmnkipg as you thihk., J>Vevery one enjoy the full and ftee Kbertjof thinking for himself, lief ibrcry mattnso his own judgmenti ’since dvery man *mpst giro ap account of. himself to Ood.Abhorgra, to the spmt of perseoution. Ifyoucannot reason'or perspado a man info thetrtfth,heyS*-attemptHb force him into :
IfloVe Willnbfc compel him, leave hiih to(rod the Judge of all.s
Ifap* Toast at a surprise party, February2,1858: io the man who swgaxs,steals and lies—swears off from drinking^ '
steals away from had company, and Uesraau honest bedi*
■; strongest kind of a hint-stypo»g lady asking a gentleman to see ifon« vof.herrings will go on his UtfJefinget,
An old Whelorisdefiniriohpfhw%sdy|ngf and a great dealof '
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