Adoring Addie

7/28/2019 Adoring Addie

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T h e C o u r T s h i p s o f L a n C a s T e r C o u n T y 2

Arng A

LesLie GouLd

5


3/51

2013 by Leslie Gould

Published by Bethany House Publishers

11400 Hampshire Aenue South

Bloomington, Minnesota 55438

www.bethanyhouse.com

Bethany House Publishers is a diision o

Baer Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan

Printed in the United States o America

All rights resered. No part o this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieal

system, or transmitted in any orm or by any meansor example, electronic, photocopy,

recordingwithout the prior written permission o the publisher. The only exception

is brie quotations in printed reiews.

Library o Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on le at the Library o Con-

gress, Washington, DC.

ISBN 978-0-7642-1032-7

Scripture quotations are rom the King James Version o the Bible.

This is a wor o ction. Names, characters, incidents, and dialogues are products othe authors imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual

eents or persons, liing or dead, is entirely coincidental.

The internet addresses, email addresses, and phone numbers in this boo are accurate

at the time o publication. They are proided as a resource. Baer Publishing Group

does not endorse them or ouch or their content or permanence.

Coer design by Jennier Parer

Coer photography by Mie Habermann Photography, LLC

Author represented by MacGregor Literary, Inc.

13 14 15 16 17 18 19 7 6 5 4 3 2 1


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For Kaleb,

oldest son o mine,

ull o intelligence and creatiity,

truth and design


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Behold, I mae all things new.

Reelation 21:5 kjv

He that hath the steerage o my course, direct my sail!

William Shaespeare, Romeo and Juliet

Act I, i, 112113


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7

C h a p t e r

1My parents were positie Id met my uture husband. They

expected me to marry Phillip Eicher, the bishops son. And

soon.

Hes coming over tomorrow, or the barbecue, my mother

said, perched on one o our mismatched chairs at the end othe table, her plump hand gripping a pen that hoered oer

her notebook. She spent most o her days there, writing lists,

giing orders, and babying her bad nee. He wants to tal

to your Daedat least thats what his mother told me.

Oh. I wiped my sweaty palms down my just-starched

apron.

A smile spread across her round ace. Well hae a wed-

ding to plan soon.

Mutter, please. Id always called her Mutterand my

ather Daed, the more ormal terms, rather than the amiliar

Mamm and Dat that my Bruders called them. She seemed to

preer it. I dont thin my ather cared.

Mutter continued speaking as i she hadnt heard my plea.

Thats why you shouldnt go today. We want the barbecue

tomorrow to be

I strode out o the kitchen, my basket o hand-quilted


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A d o r i n g A d d i e

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potholders in my arms, hoping shed think I hadnt heard

her. Id already compromised by waiting to go to the armers

maret until ater Id cleaned the breaast dishes. It wouldbe nearly eight ocloc, long ater the maret opened, by the

time my cousin Hannah and I arried.

As I turned the corner into our large liing room, a space

big enough to host our entire church, my brother Billy came

sliding in his stocing eet across the polished oor. His eyes

narrowed under his dar bangs, partially pushed up on his

sweaty orehead. He carried a gallon ar o pond water and

plants in one hand, while his other ew around in an attempt

to keep his balance. Still, greenish water sloshed over the rim.

A grin spread across his ace as he eered toward me.

I swung the basket around to my hip and stepped sideways.

It didnt matter.

He plowed into me anyway.I managed to stay on my eet, but the basket landed on the

oor, the ar on top and tipped sideways. The mury water

soaed my potholders that had been bound or the maret.

Billy, I cried.

My tadpoles! he yelled, alling to the oor, stomach

down, his ten-year-old body ailing toward my baset.

I righted the ar, which had a ew inches o water remain-ing, and began picing through the potholders, rescuing the

slimy creatures.

Whats going on in there? Mutter called out.

The tadpoles opped this way and that. I rushed rom one

to the next, pinching each one tightly enough to hold on to

it but not enough to damage, dropping them bac into the

green slime.

Billy crowded in too and began shaking out the potholders

and tossing them onto the oor, his brown eyes wide.


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L e s l i e G o u l d

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Addie? Mutter yelled.

Just a minute.

Nell! Mutter called to her younger Schwester, whodbeen holed up in the sewing room o the kitchen since break-

ast. Would you see whats going on?

I thin we got them all. Billy grinned.

One more. I pluced the tiniest tadpole rom the blac

border o a potholder still in the baset and dropped it into

the jar. Take them back and let them go. I spoke rmly.

Theye been traumatized enough.

Ach, Addie, he groaned.

Tae courage and do as I say. Quicly. I thought o him

as Billy the Brave. At ten, although dabbichclumsyhe

was still eager to help and please, but he also stuc up or

others, including me. And tae Joe-Joe down to the cree

with you so hes out o Mutters way. I scooped up thepotholders.

Billy slid to the staircase, called or our littlest brother, the

youngest o us seen children, and then headed to the ront

door to put on his boots. He tended to keep them there to

aoid Mutter in the itchen.

I lited one o the wet potholders to my ace and snied.

I couldnt help but rown at the swampy smell.What happened?

I lited my head to Aenti Nells round ace and alarmed

expression. She was short, a little squat, and had still-dar

hair, the same color as Mutters was a ew years ago beore

it turned gray, but a kerchie partly covered Aentis head

instead o a Kapp.

I held up the wet square. Billy. That was all I needed

to say.

I gured. Her brow wrinled. She continually brought


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me comort in a Haus ull o chaos. I hae some potholders

you can tae.

I shoo my head. I thin I hae ten that didnt get wet. Ican try to wash the others. Maybe they would dry in Han-

nahs buggy on the way to the maret.

You wont hae time to iron them. Youre leaing soon,

jah? She piced up the baset.

I nodded.

Addie!

Go talk to your Mamm, Aenti said. She led the way, with

me right behind her. Mutter was all eyes as Aenti Nell traipsed

through. Obiously my mother had guessed the situation.

Loos lie you arent meant to go, she said.

I shoo my head. I still hae enough to sell. Barely.

No, ate has spoen.

I shook my head. I didnt believe in ateespecially i Billywas involved. Unortunately, my mother did. Many Plain

people looed or signs rom God to help them mae a deci-

sionmy mother did that too. But she too it a step urther,

belieing in a ate that, when it came to our amily, seemed

to dictate a path o endless woes.

Mutter pushed her chair back rom the table. Besides, the

list o chores is longer than I thought. You wont hae timeto nish all o them i you go to the maret today.

I didnt respond. Id been looing orward to going to the

armers maret with my cousin or the last two wees.

She crossed her arms, her pen still in her hand. And what

about dinner? Mutter was so used to my taing charge o

our household it seemed she elt lost without me.

Im cooking tonight, Aenti Nell called out rom the sew-

ing room. Remember, Laurel?

Mutter shoo her head. I guess I orgot.


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My Aentis voice grew louder as she stepped back into

the itchen, the baset in her hands. And maybe shell see

Phillip.That stopped my Mutter or a moment.

You should be on your way. Aenti Nell transerred the

baset to me. It was uller than it had originally been. Plus,

all the potholders were now tucked inside sealed gallon-sized

bags. Ill clean up the oor.

Denki, I whispered. For eerything.

Just make sure and tell me who all you see. Her eyes

twinled in anticipation. And all you hear. She patted my

arm, turned on her heel, and headed back to the sewing room.

Just because she spent most o her days at home didnt mean

she didnt want to now eery last bit o Lancaster County

gossip possible. As a Maidela woman whod never mar-

riedshe seemed to nd her oy in other peoples lies.What about your chores? Mutter said to me as she stood

and shited her weight to her good leg.

Ive been working all week. Id cleaned, polished, weeded,

cooked, and baked. All that needed to be done were the nish-

ing touches or the gathering we hosted each year ust ater

mid-July. Id already told Mutter, three times, everything was

under control, regardless o what her latest list contained.Laurel, let her go. Aenti Nell stood in the doorway to the

sewing room, her arms crossed. She does so much around

here. She deseres to hae a little un.

Mutter placed both her hands on her wide hips. But I

need her here.

Ill help today.

I mouthed Denkiagainto Aenti Nell, and then

wrapped one arm around Mutter in a display o afection

rare or our amily, giing her a quic hal hug. Shed been


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more anxious than usual lately, retting oer this and that,

but especially the barbecue. And Phillip Eicher.

Eerything will wor out, I said. Youll see.She squeezed my arm. Go on, then. A aint smile, mixed

with a hint o resignation, lingered on her ace.

I turned and stepped toward the liing room, wanting to

be on my way beore another disaster struck. Hannah hadnt

arried yet, but I wasnt going to stay in the house and tae

any chances Mutter would change her mind.

Timothy will pic you up, Mutter added.

Jah, I now. I grabbed my lunch pail rom the corner o

the table as I passed by. Shed told me our times already, at

least. Timothy was on hisRumschpringe, his running around

time. He was twenty and had a 1993 bright yellow Bronco.

I told him it looed lie a yellow acet strapped to a set o

wheels and that he droe it lie he was out to sting eeryoneelse on the road, but he didnt thin that was unny.

Come straight home, Mutter called out.

O course, I answered. Where else would I go?

Joe-Joe sat by the ront door, struggling to pull on the sec-

ond o his rubber boots, his towhead bent toward the oor.

He was air, like me, although his hair was much lighter than

mine. Hed turned seven a month beore but seemed younger.He was short and slight or his age and still easy to carry. And

during the summer, when he was tuckered out rom trying

to keep up with Billy, he took a nap in the aternoon. He

was sweet as pie, cute as a June bug, and cuddly as a puppy.

I thought o him as Joe-Joe the Jewel because I alued him

so much, and rom the time he was born Id longed to hae

a hal dozen ust lie him.

Wheres Billy? Joe-Joe ased as I set the baset beside

him and yaned the boot on or him.


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Hes outside, waiting or you, I said. Come on. I stood,

balanced the baset on my hip, and tousled his blond hair.

He smiled up at me, his dimples ashing across his ace.Grab your hat, I said as I opened the door.

He obeyed, resting it on his head at an angle as we stepped

onto the porch. Even though it was morning, I could eel

the coming heat o the day. The initial thrill o summer had

grown old as July grew hotter and more humid. We were due

or a stormand soon.

Joe-Joe skipped across the worn planks, dragging me down

the steps. Id asked Timothy to paint the porch several times,

but he hadnt. Id ask Danny, who at sixteen was ar more

reliable than Timothy.

In the distance, I heard the clippity-clop o a horsemost

liely Hannahspulling a buggy down our lane.

Billy stood at the edge o the trees, the jar in his hands,bouncing rom oot to oot as he waited.

Keep Joe-Joe with you, I called out to him.

Jah, he answered.

My youngest brother zigzagged across the green lawn,

his arms twirling in circles, but then he turned and waved

at me, a smile as bright as the summer sun on his ace. He

laughed and then too o ater Billy. They would spend theday in the willow trees along the creek, and in and out o

the sycamore groe that bordered Onkel Bobs property. My

Bruders boots would be o in no time, and bareoot theyd

catch more tadpoles, salamanders, and marsh periwinles.

They lied a childhood Id only dreamed aboutone Id

watched my other Bruders experience too. I was sure I loed

the outdoors as much or more than any o them, but what I

experienced when it came to nature was mostly in our garden,

rom spreading the heaps o chicen manureMishtused


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to ertilize it to weeding the mammoth plot. At least that

wor allowed me to be outside.

Now that I was older, though, instead o wishing or achildhood o romping through the trees, I longed or a hus-

band, a marriage, and a child o my own as sweet as Joe-Joe. I

longed to be out rom under Mutter and her lists and worries

and tal o ate. Eeryone new I was anxious to marry and

leae my parents home. And most days I thought i Phillip

Eicher was my ticket then so be it. But on other days a nagging

sensation plagued me. It was on those days I wasnt entirely

sure how I elt about Phillip.

And this happened to be one o them.

Come on! Hannah yelled rom her buggy. Were run-

ning late.

I hurried across the lawn toward my cousin. As much as I

loed them, I was desperate or a brea rom my amilyionly or a ew hours.

As Hannah drove away rom our arm, I shited on the

bench and peered through the rear window o her buggy at

our old white Haus, growing smaller in the distance.

Id been raised to honor my parents. Id neer done any-thing but please them. The closest Id ever come to not

obeying was ignoring Mutters request or me to stay home

today.

I Aenti Nell hadnt interened, I liely would hae gien

up on going.

Aenti Nell and my cousin Cate both said I had a git or

managing a house. My parents never acknowledged it though.

That was another reason I longed to start my own amily.

I wanted to share my hopes and dreams with someone who


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cared. I wanted to partner with a man who would listen to

me. With someone who alued me or who I was.

The buggy rounded the rst cure, and the Haus ell romiew.

Addie?

I aced my cousin. Jah?

Hannahs dark eyebrows waggled at me. Whatcha think-

ing about?

I shoo my head.

She giggled, her pure white Kapp bobbing up and down, a

star contrast to her dar, dar hair and olie sin. She too

ater my Mutters side o the amily, while I, with my blond

hair and airer skin, took ater my Daeds. Hannah also took

ater my Mutter in that she tended to be either ery happy

or ery sadrarely in betweenand also solid in her shape,

although she was an accomplished horse rider, and that kepther in good condition.

Today Hannah was happy. She grinned. Who ya think-

ing about?

No one, I said, a little too orceully, conused by my

doubts.

Thats not what you were saying last week. Hannah

held the reins lightly.Ach, I sighed. How do I now . . . or sure? Day ater

day. Wee ater wee.

Well, i youre worried about him, dont be. Molly says

Phillip is as serious as can be about you.

Molly Zoo was Hannahs best riend and rialed Aenti

Nell when it came to knowing the juiciest gossip in Lancaster

County.

Hannah leaned toward me. And why would you hae any

doubts? Hes the perect catch.


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That was ust it. Phillip was the perect catch. It actually

made it harder or me to be sure how I elt about him.

I now your parents lie him a whole lot better than theydid Merin Mosier. Hannah giggled as soon as she said his

name.

The thing was, Merin was a wonderul-gut young man,

although my parents certainly didnt seem to thin so. Last

year they had, out o character, allowed me to go ayaing

with a group oYoungie, including him, his twin brother,

and my cousins, Cate and Betsy, on my athers side, whose

amily arm bordered ours. But when Mervin showed an

interest in me, Daed cited a decades-long rit between the

Cramers and the Mosiers and orbade me to see him again.

As we passed my Onkels arm, I waved at Cate as she

hung wash on the line, her dresses apping in the breeze

alongside her husbands shirts. Her Dat, my Onel Bob, hadbeen married to my Daeds younger sister. But she had died

when Betsy was a newborn. Onkel Bob stayed on good terms

with my Daed, and we remained close.

As much as I appreciated my cousins, our amilies didnt

have a lot in common. Their amily was small. Ours was

large. They had a business that catered to the Englisch, which

meant they were much more comortable with ideas outsideour community. That was reected in Cates speech and what

she read, plus she used modern ofce equipment every day and

managed the crew o workers when Onkel Bob had meetings.

But that wasnt why I admired my cousin more than any

other woman I new. I admired her because she was a loing

daughter, Schwester, and wie, but still she was very much her

own person, and somehow shed managed to nd a husband

who appreciated that.

I wanted what Cate had ound.


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Hannah interrupted my thoughts again. Phillip plans to

buy the arm near his parents place, ah?

Oh really? I hadnt heard.And hes hoping to get a loan rom his district to nance

the purchase. Hannah leaned toward me again. There are

adantages to being a bishops son.

Phillips Daed was the bishop o the next district over

rom us, the one Onel Bob and his amily belonged to, but

Bishop Eicher had a good reputation all around the area,

and many, many people highly respected him, including

my parents.

Who told you about the arm? I wedged my hands under

my legs, at against the bench.

Hannahs voice rose in volume over the clickity-clack o

the horses hooves. Molly. She says he plans to marry soon.

Her dar eyes danced. He says its ofcial, youre his Aldi.We had been courting, so it was no surprise he considered

me his girlriend. Still, today, the term made me shier.

Ach, Addie. Hes so tall and handsome.

He was.

And capable, Hannah added.

Jah. He longed to arm a place o his ownthat I knew.

So whats the problem, then? She glanced my way, herdar eyes concerned.

I sighed. Id already told her, but she hadnt been listening.

I ased it again, slowly, How do I now, or sure, that hes

the right one?

She chucled. I you gure it out, let the rest o us now.

Oay?

I shoo my head. She met more menrom Pennsyla-

nia, Ohio, and even Indianaover one weekend o Youngie

parties than Id met in my entire lie. But I havent gone


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out with anyone else, I said, except just that once with

Merin. What i theres someone else out there whos the

right one?She sighed. Ach, Addie. Dont think about it so much. Its

not as i you hae a say in the long run anyway.

I san bac against the seat. What do you mean?

You hae to marry someone who is Amish, whom your

parents approve o, who lives somewhere close. The man

cant be a Mosier. And your Dat would preer a armer, jah?

I nodded. What she said was true.

In that case, consider Phillip the catch o a lietime. She

scooted up on the bench, urged her horse to go aster, and

changed the subject. As she prattled on about the party shed

attended last Saturday night, I thought about what shed said.

Did I really hae so little control oer my own lie?

To the right an Englisch armer was baling his hay, andas Hannah turned the buggy onto the highway, the warm

breeze, boosted by the orce o his tractor, sent a cloud o

dust our way. We both turned our heads. To the let a young

Amish boy herded a group o cows across a pasture, and

ahead, alongside the road, an older girl propelled a scooter

with her oot.

Theres a party tonight. Want to come? Hannah pulledarther to the right to let a car pass.

I have too much to do, I answered. I barely got to come

along today.

Beore we reached Paradise, the maret came into iew.

Hannah turned the buggy onto the side road. How long

until the wedding, then?

Hannah! It wasnt our way to spea so openly.

Oh, come on, Addie. She slowed the horse. Eeryone

knows its what your Mamm and Dat wantand we all know


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youll do as they say. Besides, you want to marry and leae

home, ah? And soon?

I didnt answer.Youll come to loe Phillip. By the time you marry, youll

now or sure. She didnt wait or my response. Just wait

and see.

I craned my neck to see who was at the marketnot want-

ing to thin about, let alone discuss, my uture.

The booths sat on the corner o the Zooks arm, all

manned by Youngieand more girls than guys, who were

more likely to be working in the elds or holding down regular

obs on a Saturday morning.

With its inentory o egetables, resh-cut owers, plants,

breads and baked goods, jams and preserves, handwork,

wooden planters, and homemade ood, it attracted mostly

weeend tourist trafc.As the buggy bumped oer the rutted road, Molly waed

rom the center o the market, a bouquet o herbs in her

hand. Tall and air, with hair lighter than mine, her ace lit

up lie a lantern in the night. Molly Zoo was hard to miss.

She had begun overseeing the market on her parents prop-

erty in the middle o May, two months earlier. The Zooks ran

a nursery stoc business. They had transormed their amilyarm through the years, eld by eld, into rows o trees and

shrubs. It was no secret the bust in the building boom had

aected their prots. In hopes o supplementing their income,

Mollys ather had planted owers in a couple o elds the last

ew years, but her parents were older than most and obviously

struggling to keep up with all the work on the arm. The boys

in the amily had moved away rom Lancaster County and

the older daughters were all married and had amilies o their

own. Only Molly and her little sister, Bea, still lied at home.


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It seemed Molly aimed to bring in more income to the am-

ily through the maret. She was the sort o girl who always

had a new idea. Her enthusiasm alone could carry a proect.Hannah and I would be sharing Mollys booth, and I, no

doubt, would be picing up all sorts o bits o gossip Aenti

Nell would loe to hear.

Molly pointed at something beside her, bloced by a pole

and canopy. I craned my nec as Hannah pulled the buggy

into the pasture behind the booths, bringing the subect o

Mollys smile into clear iew.

Phillip Eicher, at six oot our, towered above everyone else

in the maret. He lited his straw hat rom his head, showing

his dar bowl-cut hair, and waed at me with igor.

The mouth-watering smoe rom sausage grilling, mixedwith the smell o reshly baed pretzels and pungent herbs,

greeted us along with the rst sunowers o the season, buck-

ets o snapdragons, and containers o dusty pin lilies as we

reached Mollys table.

Her blue eyes sparled. Loo whos here. She swept her

arm wide, gesturing toward Phillip, as i I might be surprised.

Hed placed his hat back on his head and now had histhumbs hooed around his suspenders. His white shirt was

neatly tuced into blac pants.

Hello, I said to him as I placed my basket on the tabletop.

What are you doing here?

Im on my brea. He tipped his head toward where the

smoe was billowing out o a barbecue, a row beyond us. I

already got something to eat. Then he smiled, slightly. And

I was hoping to see you.

My ace grew warm as I arranged the potholders on the


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table. He stepped toward me, and or a moment I thought he

might comment on my woror Aenti Nells, to be exact

but he didnt.I have something to tell you. He leaned toward me, plac-

ing his palms down on the table. I was always surprised at

how clean he ept his hands considering his wor.

I raised my head, my heart rate increasing. Oh?

Theres a arm close to my olks place, he said. Ive

been talking to the owners. He stopped, as i waiting or

my reaction.

I wasnt about to tell him Hannah had told me. I smiled

and then said, Go on.

The soil has to be the best in the county. Een better than

your Dats. And the barn is in good shape, although it does

need a new roo.

Hannah and Molly leaned against each other, their Kappstouching, watching us. They were quite the contrast in height,

coloring, and personality tooand yet they complemented

each other perectly. Every time I saw them together, I couldnt

help but wish I had a best riend. Thats why I wanted a

husband who would listen to me, who would be that riend.

Phillips voice grew louder. And the chicken coop is larger

than your Mamms, almost as big as my parents. The Hausis old but adequate. Id neer seen him so animated.

I stepped to the bac o the table.

He took a deep breath and then said, What do you think?

His biceps bulged against the sleeves o his shirt as he crossed

his arms.

I met his gaze. It sounds ne, ust ne.

Well sure, he said. Youll want to tae a loo-see. He

grinned. No need to worry about that.

The nagging sensation began to spread.


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Beore I could speak, he continued, The garden plot there

used to be huge, as big as at your place, but now its ust or

two people. But I was thining we could enlarge it and raiseenough extra to sell. He looed around. Maybe here. You

could be in charge o that.

I choed out, Sure.

He chucled. You arent araid o extra wor, are you?

No words cameI simply shoo my head.

Well, Phillip said, a happy loo on his ace, I should

get bac to wor. The place he hired out to was a hal mile

up the road. I ust wanted to tell you about the arm. He

grinned a second time. Because the owner said I could gie

you a tournext wee.

Hannah and Molly shited again, this time toward a com-

motion down the row o booths.

Ill have to see i that will work with Mutters schedule, Isaid to Phillip. But who was I ooling? We both knew it would.

My attention drited to the loud oices, certain they were

amiliar. I shaded my eyes against the morning sun. Sure

enough it was Mervin Mosier and his twin brother, Mar-

tin, at the end o the row, eight or nine booths away rom

us. They were wearing matching maue shirts, suspenders,

blac pants, and straw hats oer their sandy hair. Plus aia-tor sunglasses.

Genuine Amish hope chests, Martin called out to an

Englisch couple passing by.

Custom-made and personalized, Mervin interjected.

And were not oing.

Or pulling your leg! Martin boomed.

They grinned at each other, and then Merins oice rang

out loud and clear. Youll also nd mantels, booends, and

triets too.


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I stepped to the side o Mollys table to get a better loo.

I could see a replace mantel, although I couldnt mae out

the details, and beyond it were seeral chests. Phillip oinedme, stepping close enough so that I could smell the scent o

his Mamms strong lye soap on his sin.

Made by our cousinwho is new to Lancaster County,

straight rom Big Valley, bellowed Martin.

Hannah giggled.

Whats their cousins name? I asked, impressed by the

woodwork I could see and also by Martin and Mervins tribute.

Phillip crossed his arms.

As Hannah. Molly elbowed my cousin. He wouldnt

leae her alone at the party last weeend.

His name is Jonathan. His amilys moving back rom Big

Valley to take care o his grandather. Hannah wrinkled her

nose. Hes cute and nice and all, but when I told my Mammand Dat about him they said hes lie all the Mosiers, that

his amily is trouble and to steer clear. She pointed toward

a gure wearing a blac hat. Thats him.

All I could see was his bac, his suspenders crossed oer

his bac in an X. His blue shirt was untuced and bunching

up around his waist.

Too bad about the rit between our amilies. I crossedmy arms.

Jah, but its okay. Hannah shrugged. I I was going

to court a Mosier it would be Mervin, not Jonathan. She

grinned.

Why?

She shrugged again. Jonathans too much o a dreamer.

Kind o a sap. Besides, he didnt hae much o a plan or his

lie. She grinned again. Not lie Phillip does, anyway.

Instead o responding to Hannah, Phillip smiled at me and


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24

nodded. Jah, I do hae a plan. A good one. Phillip stepped

even closer to me, bumping my arm with his. What time

should I arrie tomorrow?Well, I said, around two. Any sooner and well put

you to wor.

Id lie that, he said.

I was ust idding. I didnt want him to come early. See

you then. I knew my voice lacked enthusiasm, but Phillip

didnt seem to notice.

He strode o down the aisle between the booths, saying

hello to Martin and Mervin as he passed. The two turned

their heads toward me.

Hannah and Molly watched Phillip go.

Molly sighed and turned toward me, her index nger inter-

twined in the tie o her Kapp. I hope youre grateul, she said.

For . . . ?She tilted her head, gae me a scathing loo, and pointed

to Phillip ust beore he turned at the end o the row, by one

o the vegetable booths. Youany o uscould do a whole

lot worse.

I must have grimaced, because she said, Goodness, Addie.

Get o your high horse and gie him a chance. He might not

be the brightest . . .My ace reddened. Its not that. It wasnt as i I thought

I was too good or him. It wasnt that at all.

Molly grabbed a sprig o rosemary and held it to her nose.

Whats bothering you, then?

How do I know?

She shoo her head. Know what?

I hes the right one.

She twirled the rosemary. You dont eer know. You de-

cide. And then you train him.


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25

Hannah laughed, and I couldnt help but smile, but I

couldnt take what Molly said seriously. First o all, she wasnt

married. Second o all, Id been trying to train members othe opposite gender my entire lieI wasnt sure I wanted

to do that in a marriage too.

Beore I could think o what to say to Molly, an older

Englisch woman stopped at my table. Grateul or the inter-

ruption, I turned my attention toward her. She quilted too,

and we chatted as she chose e potholders to buy.

Ater the Englisch woman let, Molly sat down beside

me, crushing the sprig o rosemary in her ngers, sending a

pungent pine scent into the air. Sorry i I said more than I

should hae.

No, its ne, I answered. I wasnt opposed to hearing

her opinions.

So i youre not set on Phillip, why dont you come to thesingings? You might meet someone new.

Jah, Hannah said. And to the parties too. Kids rom all

oer hae been coming. There are all sorts o good-looing

guys.

I wouldnt mind going to the singings, but I wasnt interested

in the parties, and besides, I wasnt sure I wasnt set on Phillip.

No more than I was sure that I was. Well see was all I said.The next couple o hours sped by as the day grew warmer.

Molly peddled her herbs, selling out o her gigantic dill, her

siler-edge laender, and all o her owers in the next couple

o hours. Hannah sold her hal-pint ars o strawberry am,

which seemed to be the perect size or the tourists. I didnt

need to do much to pitch the potholders; Aenti Nells wor

sold itsel, and by noon over hal o them were gone. All

three o us anned ourseles with olded newspapers Molly

had brought to wrap herbs in.


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26

The dust rom the eld grew thicker as more and more eet

pounded over it, and the line at the lemonade stand a row

away rom us grew longer and longer.Several times, I glanced toward the booth Martin and

Mervin had been at, but I didnt see them or their cousin again.

Molly walked around the market several times and came back

with bits o gossip. She said Merin and Martin hadnt let.

Instead theyd pared themseles by the ood booths.

The sausage had been tempting me all morning, but I

pulled out my ham salad sandwich rom my lunch pail, the

same one I used to pack or school, and shared hal o it

with Hannah.

Ater that the day grew lazy as the heat hung oer the pas-

ture and settled under the tarp where we sat. Thanully, the

trafc o tourists stayed steady and ept me awae.

Ater a while Mervin stopped by our booth to chat, butsoon Martin yelled at him to help him out at their cousins

booth.

Jonathan took his buggy to get more hope chests, Mervin

said, twirling his hat in his hands. Theye been selling lie

hot cakes. He turned and ambled up the row. A crowd o

customers awaited him. Martin motioned or him to hurry

and Merin quicened his pace, but ust a little.Sometime ater three, the rumble o an engine caught my

attention. It sounded like Timothys, but he was an hour early.

I stood, ducking out rom under the tarp. Sure enough, his

Bronco was cruising down the side road along the maret.

I sat bac down.

Timothy? Hannah ased.

I nodded, wiping away the tricle o sweat at my temple.

Maybe hes going to loo around or a while, she said,

a tinge o sarcasm to her oice.


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27

Unliely, I said. Hes come early or some reason.

Hannah groaned.

What? I ased.Maybe hes looking to take care o some unnished busi-

ness.

That didnt sound good. Such as?

Merin and Martin. He had a alling out with them at

that party last weekend. Hed been talking to their cousin

Tabitha.

Who is she? Id neer heard o her.

She lies on the other side o the countyher mother is

Mervin and Martins Daeds sister. She came over to help

out with their grandather, until Jonathans parents move

here or good.

Oh.

Timothy had been drinking, and Mervin and Martintold him to bac o.

My ace grew warm.

Hannah continued. When Timothy let, he shouted hed

get een.

Oh dear. I snatched up my lunch pail and dropped it

into my baset. Timothy didnt tae indly to being bossed

around, and een less so when hed had too much to drin.He was sure to be indictie. I gathered the potholders that

hadnt sold, slipped them into a plastic bag, and put it in the

basket too. Then I grabbed my money box, took out the wad

o cash Id earned, slipped it into the pocket o my apron, and

dropped the box in the bottom o the basket, where Timothy

wouldnt see it. I he did, hed realize Id earned money and

as to borrow it.

When we were young, Timothy and I had been close. Hed

even had a pet name or meToad. But by the time he turned


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28

sixteen hed turned against me. Hed always teased me, sure,

and that I didnt mind. It was the mean strea he deeloped

once he started partying that I couldnt stand. He criticizedand bullied. Made un o me and others. Always put himsel

rst, een though wed been taught the exact opposite. Hed

always been a little moody, but the last ew years hed changed

into a troublemaer.

As a child I thought o him as Timothy the Terric. Now

he was Timothy the Terrible.

Im going to go tell him I need to go homenow. I gae

Hannah a quic hug and stepped out rom under the tarp.

Timothy, who was wearing eans, a torn gray T-shirt, and

a baseball cap oer his dar-brown hair, stopped behind the

crowd gathered around Mervin and Martins cousins booth.

Hey! Timothy called out as he umped up and down.

At the sound o his voice, Mervin roze with a trivet inhis hand.

As Timothy yelled, Hey! a second time, Martin spun

around.

I started to walk toward them, but Hannah grabbed my

arm. Dont, she said. Let them gure it out.

A couple with two little girls, each wearing braids, stopped

at our booth. The husband piced up a ar o Hannahs am,and the mother asked to see my potholders. I took a sampling

out or her, and she said shed tae ten, which let me with

only two unsold.

As I made change rom my pocket, I could make out Timo-

thys oice but not his words.

Whats going on oer there? the woman ased, turning

toward the commotion, a daughter hanging on either side

o her.

Im not sure, I answered.


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29

She directed her attention bac at me as I handed her the

bag o potholders. Have you seen that young mans hope

chests?I shoo my head.

Theyre masterpieces. I ordered one or each o my girls.

Wish Id had something lie that growing up.

I nodded. So did I. Not having been given a chest

Kashtao my own was one o the biggest disappointments

o my childhood.

Were hoping to order one o his mantels sometime,the husband added. His wor is incredible. Ie neer seen

anything lie it.

The group that had gathered around the booth started

to dispersethanks to Timothy, I was sure. I grabbed my

baset and started toward my brother, who now stood with

his eet spread apart, pointing his index nger at Martin.

Timothy towered over both o the twins, looking exactly

lie the bully he was.

Merin stepped in ront o his brother as Martin shited

his oot orward. I couldnt see what happened next, but

Mervin stumbled backward, probably shoved by Timothy,

and then ell with the triet still in his hand oer one o the

chests on display, crashing into the mantel behind it. Theupper piece shited.

Martin darted orward, lunging or the top piece, ust as

Timothy shoed him too, sending him ying into the booth,

straight at the mantel. The whole thing toppled over, ollowed

by the sound o splintering wood.


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30/51

31

C h a p t e r

2I roze in the middle o the pathway. Id seen Timothy stir

up trouble plenty o times but never destroy something o

value. How dare he? Hed been intentional about shoving

both Mervin and Martin into the mantel. Now it lay in ruins.

Come on, Timothy called out, running toward me, hisbaseball cap apping in his hand, a wild smir on his ace.

He ew past me as Martin struggled to his eet and too

o ater Timothy, his head now bare. I put my baset down

and shoed my hand into my apron pocet and too out my

rubber-banded wad o money.

As Martin reached me, I grabbed his arm. Tae this, I

said, shoving the bills into his hand. And tell your cousin

Im sorry. Timothy

is a creep. Martin tried to pull away rom me.

I held on tight. He can be, ah, I said. But going ater

him is only going to mae things worse.

You shouldnt have to pay or what hes destroyed. Mar-

tin too the money anyway.

Hell pay me bac. Somehow. Someway. Id see to it.

Martin nodded at me. See that he does. He held the

money up. This should help Jonathanat least he wasnt


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32

here to see it happen. Martin told me good-bye and headed

bac to the booth.

I ollowed him. Merin was trying to lit the mantel, butMartin told him to leae it as he showed Merin the money.

Deni, Addie, Merin called out. That will help. With

our grandather ill and Jonathans amily not arming here

yet, hes supporting the amily.

In the background Timothy revved his Bronco and then

honed the horn.

Youd best go. Mervin stepped out o the booth, his

eyes sympathetic.

Jah. I picked up my basket. Please dont try to retaliate,

I said. It isnt our way. I couldnt help pointing it out, een

though Mervin knew it as well as I did. Wed been taught

that since we were babies.

Maybe you should tal to Timothy about that, Merinsaid.

I nodded. I will. And to my Daed.

Martin snorted. A lot o good that will do.

My ace grew een warmer.

The horn blared again.

Feeling deeated, I gae a hal-hearted wae to the twins,

called out a good-bye to Hannah and Molly, whod retreatedbac to their tables, and cut across the attened pasture to

Timothy.

Theyre jerks, he said as I opened the back door and put

my baset on the seat.

Theyre not. I climbed into the ront o the yellow jacket

on wheels, eeling as i I were part o a hie gone wild. Een

i they did tell you to eep away rom their cousin. Tabitha,

right?

He scowled at me. I dont know who youre talking about.


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33

Hannah told me.

Timothy stared straight ahead, but enom lled his oice.

Then shes ull o it.I shoo my head.

Timothy gripped the steering wheel tighter. And so are

all the Mosiers. Always hae been.

Dont say that.

And the one that does the carvings? Hes the biggest loser

o all.

My anger with my brother neared the boiling point. How

would you now? I astened my seat belt, glared at Timo-

thy until he astened his too, and then stared straight ahead.

Besides, youre the one who instigated it.

He gunned the car, spinning out as he sped toward the

highway. Nothe Mosiers started it years ago.

I knew my parents didnt think highly o the Mosiers,but I had no idea what was behind the hard eelings. What

happened between our two amilies?

You dont now? He had a smir on his ace.

No, I dont. And I was pretty sure he didnt either.

Well, Im not going to be the one to gossip about it. And

dont as Mamm or Dat. It will ust mae them mad.

Id ask Aenti Nell. Regardless o all that, I said, Iheard youd had too much to drin last weeend. And you

were denitely the instigator today. You should apolo-

gize . . . and stop this nonsense. I stared straight ahead.

I gae the twins money to coer the damages. Youll hae

to pay me bac.

He let out a snort. I wasnt the one who knocked over

that stupid mantel. And you didnt as me i I wanted you

to pay or it.

Ill tal to Daed about it, then.


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34

He snorted again. Good luck with that. He doesnt care.

He turned let instead o right at the stop sign.

Where are we going?By Sam and Georges.

I sighed. Our older Bruders were renting a trailer rom an

Englisch amily down the road. I hadnt seen it yet . . . and

had no desire to. Is that why you came early?

Nah, Mutter wants you home.

Why?

Shes worried about the barbecue tomorrow.

Her anxiety was denitely getting worse.

Timothy accelerated on the straight stretch.

I grabbed the door handle as my heart pounded. He hadnt

had an accidentyet. I couldnt athom why not.

His phone rang, and he umbled it out o his pocet.

Let me get it, I said.He ignored me again, answering the call and holding it

against his ear.

I could hear Georges oice, asing where we were.

Fie minutes away, Timothy answered.

Were not staying long, I shouted so George could hear.

Timothy ignored me, said good-bye, and plopped his

phone in the console between us.I wiped my orehead with the hem o my apron and pointed

the cars ents toward my ace, trying to maximize the little

bit o air coming out.

Id have to tell Aenti Nell about the broken mantel to

explain why I didnt have her money. Id tell Daed about

what Timothy had done, because someone needed to put

my brother in his place, and as much as I wanted to, I new

whateer I said wouldnt mae a dierence.

Daed was the only one who could make Timothy stop, but


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35

my brother was right. Daed didnt seem to care about my

Bruders wild ways. Although my amily was more isolated

than my cousin Cates, when it came to the Rumschpringetime, my parents were ar more lenient than somewhen it

came to the boys. My Daed ignored my Bruders vehicles, late

nights, and grumpy mornings. My parents were too tolerant,

mostly denying my Bruders shenanigans. I guessed Daed

had been on the wild side as a Youngie too, and thats why

he put up with it.

When it came to anything concerning the Mosiers, Daed

bristledlike when he thought I was interested in Mervin

and orbade me rom seeing him. He denitely had a part in

the mysterious rit between the two amilies.

Hopeully though, learning Timothy had destroyed some-

one elses property would get Daeds attention.

The Bronco bounced as Timothy turned onto a dirt road.Over a knoll, a trailer house came into view beside a scraggly

oak tree. My two other older Bruders were rebellious, but

not like Timothy. Samuel, the oldest, was almost twenty-ve,

unmarried, and still not a member o the church, which I

was sure bothered my parents, but they kept quiet about

it. Hed always been easygoingtoo much so. He wasnt

a leader, and Timothy had him wrapped around his littlenger. There were times when I thought o my oldest sibling

as Samuel the Simple.

George was next. At twenty-two, he had an Amish girl-

riend, Sadie, and I hoped he would join the church soon and

settle down. He was quic to laugh, plus ind and giing. I

thought o him as George the Generous.

Timothy turned into the driveway o the trailer and parked

next to Georges old blue truc. He opened his door. Com-

ing in?


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36

No. I stared straight ahead, my seat belt still in place.

Get of your high horse, Addie, he said, climbing out

o the car.I didnt answer, but when George bounded down the

wooden steps and ung my door open, I couldnt help but

reconsider. He grabbed my hand, his deep brown eyes twin-

ling.

Addie! Come see our place. He wore his dark hair so

cropped no one would guess hed grown up Amish. At ust

under six eet, he was the shortest o my Bruders but the most

muscular. They were all as strong as teams o oxen, broad

lie my Daed, although none o them were quite as big as he

was. All were built or arming and barn raisings, although

currently, Samuel and George were picking up shits at a shed

manuacturing business.

George was my avorite o my older Bruders, and I missedhimeven though I didnt care to see the dump he now called

home. For him, though, I unastened my seat belt and headed

up the steps. Timothy was already inside, taking three cases o

beer rom Samuel. I was tempted to say somethingTimothy

wouldnt be o legal drinking age until his next birthdaybut

held my tongue.

Ach, you two, George said. Do you hae to do this inront o Addie?

Samuel nodded at me, icing his long brown bangs rom

his eyes as he did, but didnt answer. Timothy ignored George,

exing his biceps as he hoisted the cases against his chest.

Ill give you a tour, George said, leading the way into

the living room. I had to squint coming in rom the bright

sunshine into the small cavelike room. Brown carpet that

looed as i it hadnt been cleaned since the trailer came o

the assembly line coered the oor. There was a large TV on


36/51


37

the ar wall, an old couch, and a straight-bac chairthat

was all.

I ollowed George into the kitchen, where a lone card tablesat pushed against a wall. Dirty dishes lled the sink, and

the garbage, in a plastic bucket, overowed with ast-ood

bags and containers.

Want to see the rest? George ased.

I shook my head, imagining the two messy bedrooms down

the hall. We best be going.

Georges voice had a hint o teasing to it. Dont you want

to stic around and help tidy up?

I have enough to do at home, I answered, straight-aced.

Jah. His tone was serious now. I now.

I smiled at him and patted him on the shoulder. Deni,

I said, or showing me around.

Timothy and Samuel had gone outside. The bac o theBronco slammed shut as I started or the door.

See you tomorrow, George said, right behind me, giving

me a pat on the shoulder when we reached the tiny porch.

Jah, Samuel answered. We wouldnt skip the barbecue,

not or anything. They hadnt been coming around the house

much lately, but I knew they wouldnt want to miss the annual

gathering o relaties and neighbors.Samuel turned to Timothy. Hae un with those Mosiers

tonight.

Timothy tossed his eys in the air. Want to oin me?

Maybe . . . Sam glanced at George, who shrugged. Sam

turned bac to Timothy. Well see.

I descended the steps and climbed into the passenger seat,

slamming the door, hoping Timothy would get the message.

He chatted a ew minutes longer and then climbed into the

car. Want to go tonight? he ased.


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38

No. I wasnt that desperate to get out o the house.

I might need you to stop me rom hurting a Mosier, he

teased.I really am going to tell Daed about what happened today.

He glowered at me. Havent you ever heard o sibling

condentiality?

You went too ar this time. Daed needs to now.

I told you he wont care.

I thin he will. True, Daed wasnt ond o the Mosiers,

but he was as nonresistant as any Amishman. He wouldnt

want Timothy destroying propertyand certainly not hurt-

ing anyone.

Hed never admit it, but he dislikes the Mosiers even

more than I do.

I looked out my window as Timothy turned onto the

highway. My one outing with the Mosier twins, Mervin inparticular, is what motivated Daed to push Phillip Eicher

my way. At that point, heor maybe it was Mutter needling

himdecided not to leae my destiny in my own hands.

My parents would neer meddle in matters o courtship

with my Bruders the way they were with me. Maybe i I

had Schwesters, they wouldnt be so ocused on whom they

wanted meto marry. Then again, maybe they would.Bac when I was little Id wished Id been born a boy, be-

cause their work seemed like play. As I grew older, I tolerated

my wor a little more. Some o it I een enoyedthe quilt-

ing, the baking and cooking, and the gardening. The bigger I

grew, the easier the cleaning and laundry and sewing became

too. But the boys still had more un, always together, hors-

ing around in the pasture, racing the buggies, and throwing

each other into the pond. I wored mostly alone unless I was

quilting with Aenti Nell. I enoyed her company, but most o


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39

our conersation centered on relaties and neighbors, while

I longed to tal about ideas and eelings.

It wasnt as i I saw the boys and Daed discussing anythingimportant though. Sure, they talked about their work, but

their conersations tended to be about which boy did which

stupid thing out in the eld.

I wanted a Mann, a husband who would listen to me and

talk with me about things that mattered. Who would include

me in his plans. I wasnt sure i Phillip Eicher was that man,

but perhaps I hadnt gien him enough o a chance.

Timothy pulled out to pass a pickup and then stepped

on the accelerator as an SUV sped toward us. It was big and

blac and barreled down the road. I braced my eet against

the oor and took a deep breath, terried it might be my last.

Timothy yaned the car bac into his lane at the last sec-

ond. An oerwhelming sense o helplessness spread throughme. Id just been dependent on Timothy, someone I didnt

trust, or my ery existence.

As my ear subsided, the helpless eeling transormed into

a sense o hollowness.

Whom could I trust?

Ten minutes later and nearly home, in a shaky voice I

managed to say, Im not going to ride with you anymore.

Im going to tell Mutter no rom now on.

What are you taling about? He stared straight ahead.

That near accident.

Ach, that was nothing. He scowled toward me. You

need to get oer yoursel. Lie is more than ust about what

you want. It helps the amily or me to gie you rides.

I didnt respond. Lie had never been about what I wanted.


39/51


40

I wasnt pitying myselit was simply the truth. And the

Amish way. We were taught rom the time we were little chil-

dren that were not the center o the world. But somehowTimothy hadnt gotten the message.

He turned down our lane, speeding along too ast but

slowed as he neared our Haus and pulled along the ar side o

the cow barn, where Daed allowed him to par his car. Billy

and Joe-Joe came running toward me, shouting my name as

I climbed rom the seat, pulling my dress rom the bac o

my sweaty legs.

Both boys had mud streaked across their aces like war

paint. Joe-Joe held a tabby itten with both his hands, while

Billy held a calico in each o his. Billy stumbled oer a roc

but caught himsel beore he ell. The cats squirmed in his

hands, and he held on tighter.

I grabbed my basket rom the back and started towardthe boys.

Go put the kittens back, I said. They need their

Mamms.

Joe-Joe rowned.

And then come in the house or some lemonade. Its so

hotyou probably need a drin, ah? I added.

He smiled at that and ollowed Billy toward the barn.As I rounded the corner, Mutter called out or me rom

the bac steps.

Then Daed stepped out o the cow corral. At six and a

hal eet he was a near giant o a man, solid through and

through. A ringe o gray hair showed under his hat and his

matching beard owed down his chest to his belly. Youre

late, he said to Timothy. Come nish the miling. Then

he called out to Billy. Get bac in there and help Danny.

In no time, the little boys hustled back rom returning


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41

the kittens, and Joe-Joe took my hand, pulling me toward

the Haus as Billy obeyed Daed and sipped o to the barn.

Sure you dont want to go with me later? Timothy calledout to me.

I ignored him.

Where you going? Daed ased Timothy as he reached

the barn door.

Out, Timothy answered. Later.

I pulled away rom Joe-Joe and told him to go ahead. Hes

looing to pic a ght with the Mosiers, I said to Daed as

I held the baset in ront o me.

Daed looked rom Timothy to me and then back to Timo-

thy. He shoo his head. No ghting, sonyou hear? Sure,

some things cant be xed, but you let those be. You under-

stand?

I glared at Timothy. Lie a mantel?He shot me an angry loo.

Whats this all about? Daed took a step toward Timothy.

He broe a mantel Jonathan Mosier made. I gae all the

money I made today to Martin and Mervin to help pay or it.

His bushy eyebrows shot up. Jonathan Mosier . . . Would

that be Dirs son? It was as i Daed hadnt heard the last

part o what Id said.I shrugged. Hes Martin and Merins cousin.

Daed too a deep breath. Did you pay or it, son?

Timothys eyes narrowed.

I ust told you, I did, I answered. Although Im sure I

didnt pay enough.

Pay her bac, Daed ordered.

Timothy nodded, with no trace o his earlier braado.

Addie, come here, Mutter called out. Joe-Joe was beside

her now, trying to hold her hand.


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42

As I approached, she whispered, What were you telling

your ather?

Its nothing.Her voice grew louder as she spoke. You were talking

about the Mosiers. Did those twins do something?

No.

I new I shouldnt hae let you go.

Its nothing to do with me. Honest. I passed her, shit-

ing the baset to the side and taing Joe-Joes outstretched

hand, pulling him alongside me into the Haus.

I snied, but all I could smell was the lemon scent o the

polish Id put on the wood oors the day beore. Aenti Nell

hadnt started dinner. I stopped in the middle o the itchen,

sliding the basket onto the tabletop. There was letover chicken

rom the night beore, unless theyd eaten it or lunch.

Addie. Mutter limped through the bac door. Whatsgoing on?

Dinner, I answered. Thats whats going onor not.

Id so looked orward to a break rom cooking that I couldnt

stop the disappointment in my oice. I opened the rerigera-

tor. The chicen was gone.

Mutter sat down in her chair.

Aenti Nell cleared her throat rom where she stood in thedoorway to the quilting room. I lost trac o time.

I see. I placed my hand atop my Kapp, as i the gesture

might keep my emotions in check. Clearly it was time or

me to tae charge.

Mutter piced up a pair o pants, stabbing her needle into

the abric. The Mansleit will need to eat soon.

The menolwould eat when the ood was ready.

Id put two pounds o cooed hamburger into the reezer

the day beore, so I could make a quick spaghetti sauce. I


42/51


43

poured Joe-Joe a glass o lemonade and then told him, as

he downed it, Go get me our ars o tomatoesone at a

timeand an onion rom the cellar.He drained his glass, handed it to me, and started toward

the basement door. Ater you do that Ill tell you what to

pic rom the garden.

We had lettuce, spinach, and radishes ready to use, and

Id baed bread the day beore.

Aenti Nell piced up the baset. How many potholders

did you sell? she asked as I pulled the sealed bag o ham-

burger rom the reezer.

Nearly all, I said. I motioned or her to come closer to

me, and as I turned toward the sink, lowered my voice so

Mutter wouldnt hear. I explained briey what happened as

I plopped the plastic bag o hamburger in the sin and ran

warm water oer it to derost it.Ach, Addie, thats a shame, she said. For you. She

shoo her head. That Timothy. I hate to see this grudge get

passed down to the next generation.

She seemed genuinely sad.

Jah, I said. Its a sorry predicament.

She nodded, a wary expression I hadnt seen beore set-

tling on her ace.I lowered my oice een more. So what is this grudge all

about anyway?

Aenti glanced toward Mutter, a worried loo on her ace,

and whispered, Ill tell you later.

I nodded and said, in a regular oice, hoping to cheer her,

I saw Molly.

Oh. Aenti Nell brightened. Any news?

Nothing you dont already now.

My Aenti smiled.


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You should see Mollys rosemary though. Its the best

Ive ever seen. She sold out o nearly everything except or

her parsley and sage. I meant to bring some home. We grewherbs but they werent nearly as robust as Mollys. Hannah

had sold almost all o her ars o am when I let.

I gathered the pots and pans I needed or the sauce and

pasta as I talked. Daed wasnt ond o spaghetti and saladhe

said it barely lled him upbut it was the best I could do

on such short notice.

Joe-Joe came up the basement stairs with the tomatoes,

one ar at a time, and then the onion, maing a special trip

ust or it. I ased Aenti Nell to chop it. She too the remain-

ing potholders into the sewing room and then returned to

help me.

I handed Joe-Joe the garden basket, and he headed outside.

I started the sauce and told Aenti Nell about the ood at themaret and then put the water on to boil or the spaghetti.

Next I set the table around Mutter as I told Aenti Nell about

the am Hannah had made.

I stopped at the sound o heavy ootsteps on the back steps.

The men, I presumed, were early.

The door swung open, and Billy stepped through rst, a

grin on his ace. Behind him was Phillip Eicher.Mutter perked up at the sight o him. She started to stand,

but he quicly told her there was no need.

Wont you stay or supper? she gushed.

I stood statue still, watching Phillip. Hed changed into a

clean white shirt and pants. And shoes instead o boots. He

held his straw hat in his hands, and his bangs ell in a perect

line across his orehead.

Deni, Phillip answered, looing at me. Im happy to

stay, but Ill go out and help nish up the milking. Molly


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and Hannah were righthe was a good catch. I could do

much worse.

Oh, stay here, Mutter replied. Cap has plenty o handsout there. Then she paused and added, Unless you want

to spea with him about something.

Phillip smiled. When he has the time.

My ace grew warm. Usually, in our community, the young

man didnt speak with the girls ather beore hed spoken

with her. Perhaps he planned to spea to me tonight.

I spun back toward the sink. The odd sensation lodged

below my heart and pushed upward.

I turned my attention back to dinner. Now that we had

company, I would need to come up with a dessert, but I didnt

hae time to mae anything beore we ate. I decided to piler

a plate o cooies rom the dozens Id made or tomorrow.

Phillip sat down on the other side o the table, where hecould watch me. I droe by the arm on the way here. He

hooed his thumbs around his suspenders. The sunowers

along the ence are already as big as dinner plates. And the

corn is up to my shoulders, Im sure. . . . He hadnt been

much o a taler beore, but that seemed to hae changed.

Now it seemed as i he couldnt stop.

It was the rst time Phillip had eer stayed or dinner. He

was the youngest o ten, so although meals with his amily

used to be a big eent, or the last ew years it had ust been

him and his parents. I couldnt imagine his mother, even

when her table was ull, putting up with any nonsense rom

her children.

Meals at our house were ar rom orderly. It wasnt that

my Mutter purposeully put up with the nonsenseshe ust


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46

didnt know how to stop it. And although I did my best, I

couldnt seem to rein the boys in either, at least not entirely.

Beore Daed had a chance to lead us in our silent prayer,Billy dumped his pocet o rocs onto the table. Daed sent

him outside with his collection until the prayer was nished.

Billy ate silently when he came back, and or a moment

all was calm, but then Timothy started in about the Mosier

boys. Phillip gave me a questioning look. I shrugged in return.

Addie is too riendly with them, Timothy said, looing

at Mutter. You shouldnt allow her around them anymore.

Youre the one who invited me to the party tonight, I shot

bac. Dont you thin theyll be there? Id neer been so

contentious beore, not in ront o my parents anywayand

certainly not in ront o company.

Addie! Mutter said.

Dont worry, Im not going. Im just pointing out thatTimothy isnt maing any sense.

O course youre not going. Mutter had her gaze on

Phillip now. She neer goes to those things.

Under my breath, I whispered, Obviously whats good

or the gander isnt or the goose.

You dont go to those parties either, do you, Phillip?

Mutter ased.He squared his shoulders. Not anymore.

How about you? Timothy said to Danny. Are you going

with me?

Danny placed his or on his empty platehed inhaled

his dinner in record timeand looed up but didnt spea.

He pushed his straw-colored hair back rom his orehead,

showing the strea o white where the brim o his hat ept

the sun rom his ace. Having recently turned sixteen, he was

ust entering his Rumschpringe. He was the quietest o my


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Bruders and the most reliable. I thought o him as Danny

the Dependable.

Finally, as he glanced rom our ather to our mother, hesaid, Jah.

Thats ne, Mutter answered. As long as youre up rst

thing in the morning.

Dont go, I said to Danny. Stay home and help me get

ready or tomorrow.

He wrinled his recled nose and said, sotly, Ill get up

early, I promise, and do whateer you need.

Joe-Joe nudged me, a grin on his ace. Ill help, he said,

and then began twirling his spaghetti on his ork, sending

sauce splattering in all directions.

Stop, I said.

Im certain he meant to obey, but instead he lost his grip on

his or, sending it clattering to the oor. He scooted downand, dropping to his nees, reached under his chair.

A moment later, he chirped, Oops!

That got my attention.

Got it! he said.

Thining he meant the or, I expected him bac on his

chair, but one glance his way and I saw he was still rooting

around on the oor, grabbing at a plastic container.Oops! he exclaimed again.

A rog jumped onto his chair. Joe-Joes head popped up as

Billy scrambled to the oor, nearly nocing oer his chair.

I lunged or the rog, but it slipped between my hands

onto the table.

Whats going on? Mutter squealed.

I didnt bother answering her. It was obious to all.

The rog leapt again, this time into the quarter-ull bowl o

spaghetti sauce. Timothy began to laugh as Joe-Joe lunged


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orward, his hands landing in the bowl. Somehow he man-

aged to grab the rog. He pulled out a tomato-red blob, a

triumphant expression on his ace, until a hal second laterthe rog managed to wiggle away again.

Billy scurried around the table, most liely to rescue the

rog, but I grabbed at it again and somehow managed to

hold on this time. Billy bobbled the plastic container rom

the oor, I pluned the rog into it, and Billy secured the lid,

ull o good-sized holes.

Go set it ree, I said.

Billy nodded, his ace solemn.

No, Joe-Joe wailed.

Dont you want it to lie? I ased.

Jah. With me, he answered, tears lling his eyes.

I shook my head. God didnt make rogs to live in our

Haus.Billy headed toward the back door, and seemingly resigned,

Joe-Joe wiped his hands across his ace, painting his skin with

sauce, and started to sit bac on his chair.

Oh, no you dont, I ordered. Straight to the bathtub.

As he let the table, I looked around at the others. Timothy

was still laughing, although quietly now. Aenti Nell nodded

in approval. Phillip rowned, his orehead wrinkled underhis dar hair.

Its usually not like this at mealtime. Is it, Addie. Mutter

glanced rom Phillip to me.

I shrugged. It usually was.

Daed continued shoveling spaghetti into his mouth as i

nothing had happened.

Mother turned back toward Phillip. Tell us about the

arm youre hoping to buy.

Timothy groaned and Danny asked to be excused as Phillip


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directed his attention to my Mutter, beginning his descrip-

tion with the barn.

I pushed bac my chair.Ill do the dishes. You take care o Joe-Joe, Aenti Nell said.

Deni.

As I headed down the hall, Phillip ept taling.

A hal hour later, when I returned with a pajama-clad

Joe-Joe at my side, all my Brudersand Phillipwere gone.

Certain he was out taling to Daed, a wae o panic oer-

too me. Light-headed, I leaned against the table.

What is the matter? Mutter asked rom her place at

the table.

I stammered. Where . . . wheres Phillip?

Aenti Nell turned rom the sin.

He said hed see you tomorrow, Mutter said. Hes o

to help his Daed move some hay beore dark, so he didnthae a chance to tal with your Daed either.

Relie washed oer me as I exhaled slowly. I need to tal

with Daed tonight.

Whateer or?

I think maybe Phillip thinks Ive agreed to something that

I haentnot yet anyway. . . . My words trailed o as the

loo o horror on Mutters ace grew.Adelaide Cramer, Mutter barked, dont you even think

o reecting that nice young man. You will neer, eer nd a

more suitable husband.

Aenti Nell stepped rom the sin toward us, holding her

wet hands in the air, and said, Schwester . . .

Stay out o this, Mutter snapped at her. We dont let

you lie here to meddle in our business.

Horried, I called out, Mutter! Aenti Nell didnt deserve

such treatment.


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Dont you get sassy!

Addie, my Aenti whispered, your mothers right. It isnt

my business. I shouldnt have She turned back towardthe sin.

Mutter shited in her chair and ased me, Whats gotten

into you all o a sudden?

I need more time is all . . . The odd eeling beneath my

heart expanded.

I know what you want. A husband. A home. Children.

What eery woman wants.

Jah, I said. She was absolutely right. Im ust not sure

how to now or sure who that husband should be.

I havent seen any other suitors coming around. She

spread her arms wide. Hae you?

I was only eighteenwell, nineteen in less than two weeks.

And sure, Id been anxious to marry and hae a place o myown, but . . . what was the rush?

My mothers oice sotened. Addie, its normal to ques-

tion these things. But thats what maing a commitment is

all about. Its a decision. She motioned or me to come sit

beside her, and I obeyed. Now she was whispering. Beliee

me, you dont want to end up lie Nell. Lie would hae been

much easier or herand all o usi shed married yearsago. Instead

Laurel. Aenti Nell spun around rom the sin. Dont.

My mother stared at her sister or a long moment, and

then, with Aenti Nell still watching us, widened her eyes and

nodded at me, as i my aunts reaction proved Mutters point.

But I had no idea what, exactly, she meant. I stood and

began putting the ood away, telling Joe-Joe to go brush his

teeth.

Billy needs to get to bed too, Mutter said.


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Jah, I answered. And then I needed to clean the bath-

room so it would be usable tomorrow and clean the itchen

and sweep ater Aenti Nell nished the dishes. In the morn-ing Id need to x breakast, make the coleslaw, bake the

rolls, and marinate the chicen Daed would barbecue later

in the day. Then slice the watermelon and make the date

pudding. Maybe Mutter had been rightmaybe I shouldnt

hae gone to the maret. Maybe I should hae stayed home

and wored.

Joe-Joe too my hand, turning his ace up toward mine,

showing the sprinling o recles across his nose. Will you

read me a story?

I was tempted to say no because o all I had to do, but

honestly, putting Joe-Joe to bed was one o my aorite parts

o the day.

Jah, I answered. Go pick one out. He scurried intothe liing room straight to the baset rom the boomobile

while I stepped outside to call Billy into the house.

Mutter was wrong. Phillip hadnt let. He and Daed, with

Billy running circles around them, were standing in the drive-

way next to Phillips buggy, deep in conersation. My heart

raced until Daed pointed to the eld o corn and I realized

they were taling about the crops.Beyond them, in the distance on the lane by the patch o

sweet peas, stood a man I didnt recognize. His head was

held high, his hat bac, and he appeared to be looing at the

ading sy. Maybe he hoped to see the rst star. Or perhaps

he was whistling at the birds bedding down in their nests in

the poplars that lined the lane. His prole was toward me,

nearly silhouetted against the setting sun. In the dim light,

his hair, what I could see, appeared to be the color o the

summer moon.


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As i he sensed me watching him, he glanced my way and

smiled. Then he turned and strolled up the lane.

I stared ater him until Phillip caught my eye. He waed.I responded, quicly, and baced into the house, pulling the

door shut behind me.

Adoring Addie

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Transcript of Adoring Addie