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25 Christmas Traditions INTRODUCTION The excitement around Christmas is unlike any other. 40 years later I still vividly remember lying in bed as a child unable to go to sleep, filled with excitement at what I would find under the tree the next morning. When I got married the time came to set our own traditions. Of course, Laurie’s family had traditions of their own so we had to figure out what “our Christmas” would look like. Over the years we added and subtracted ideas. The 25 ideas below are our family favorites. Some of them help us to focus on our precious Jesus and some are just fun family things that create memories and bind us together as Dillards. We want the season to be about Jesus, but that does not mean that everything we do has to be “religious/spiritual”. There is a trend these days to come against the “materialism” of Christmas. If you are way into that, then you probably will have problems with some of these traditions. Jesus makes it clear that we should serve the poor, and we wholeheartedly agree. Please participate in every opportunity you get to bless those around you. We believe that blessing our children with a few toys/gadgets and creating lasting family memories is not against God’s will. Most of the activities on this list do not require much money and many can be done with others. The process of choosing traditions is a bit of a mystery. We do something we think will be great, but it falls flat. Other things we barely give a thought to become treasured times we can’t miss. Some things fade away, forgotten from one year to the next. I recommend you look at this list with your kids if they are old enough and choose some to try this year. Evaluate them, make some notes, and continue them if they bring you joy. Maybe next year you can continue some and add some others. We did not start doing all 25 of these at once but rather slowly added them over the years. We see these as powerful aspects of discipling our children to value Jesus and family and to even create a mindset of blessing others while at the same time developing a healthy sense of the goodness of creating family identity. Our brains are constantly monitoring our identity and sense of belonging. Christmas traditions can be significant in strengthening our sense of being a part of something bigger than ourselves, of being loved, and of belonging to our family. My hope is that you enjoy Jesus with your family this Christmas. He is the reason for the holiday. I pray these ideas help cement that truth in your family. This list is generally ordered according to chronology although it is not exact. I have tried to list the items in order of when you will start them.

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1. FAVORITE CHRISTMAS BOOKS/STORIES When our first children were still young, we started collecting books that we read each Christmas. On December 1 each year our kids are eager for the evening read-aloud time as we go through their favorite Christmas books. Our family has settled on the following books:

- Story a Day ‘til Christmas – As the title suggests, we read one story each day. We only had Volume 2 for years and then found the other two volumes on Amazon. Our kids prefer volume 2. I like to pick from the three books which story I like best each night.

- The House without a Christmas Tree by Gail Rock – Laurie remembered this from her childhood so we found it and the kids enjoy it. It is not a “Christian” book, but it has a good message.

- The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson – I remember the first time my mom read this to my brother and I when we were kids. We laughed for days. My kids’ reactions are the same each year. This is definitely a family favorite.

- The Gift of the Magi by O. Henry – Wonderful story of sacrificial giving. Whether you read these books or others, the key is that you gather your family each evening

and share the time together. This creates a feeling that your kids will never forget.

2. CHRISTMAS MUSIC The evening of Thanksgiving (once the meal is done) marks the beginning of Christmas

music in our home. From that point until Christmas day it is continually playing. This is where modern technology has become such a blessing. Over the years we have bought plenty of music and it all gets played, but sites/apps like Pandora, Spotify, and YouTube make it so easy to play tons of Christmas music without repeating the same songs as much. There is something about playing our favorite songs that makes the season more joyful.

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3. DECORATING THE HOUSE Laurie loves to decorate our house each season and has collected items over the years to turn

our home into a Christmas wonderland. Thus, we have some items the kids always look forward to seeing and usually a couple of new items. Needless to say our Christmas decoration boxes have multiplied over the years.

Shortly after Thanksgiving I take the kids out to do something for a few hours and Laurie enjoys a blissful alone time as she transforms our house into a Christmas wonderland. This is triply beneficial in that Laurie gets her first Christmas gift, the kids and I get some time together, and all of us enjoy seeing our “new” house and reminiscing about the different items we haven’t seen in 11 months. 4. DAILY ADVENT CALENDAR & WEEKLY ADVENT CANDLE LIGHTING These are readily available and provide a great opportunity for focusing on the Christmas story. We have a few of these which the kids take great pleasure in doing each day of December.

In addition, each Sunday of Advent we light a candle in our Advent Wreath, read scripture, sing a song, and discuss it. We have seen different themes used for this. We prefer going by the Prophecy Candle, Angel Candle, Bethlehem Candle, and Shepherds Candle, and then lighting the Christ Candle on Christmas day.

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5. TREE TRIMMING DINNER Each year as soon after Thanksgiving as we can arrange it the tree goes up and the

ornaments come out. Our kids look forward to filling their stomachs almost as much as filling the tree. We do Foil Packets (wrap ground beef and a variety of vegetables with spices in aluminum foil and put in the oven) for dinner. Each person prepares their own dinner however they like it. We do not do this very often so it is extra special to them. Again, whether you do foil packets is not important. The key is picking a special meal that everyone in your family enjoys, ideally one that everybody takes part in making, and something that you do not do more than 2-3 times per year (ideally, just once a year). But if you want to try Foil Packets, here are some ideas: We do it simple as listed above but this site has a bunch of ideas: https://www.pillsbury.com/everyday-eats/dinner-tonight/best-foil-packet-recipes 6. CHRISTMAS TREE ORNAMENTS – OUR FAMILY HISTORY

When Laurie and I were first married we were inspired by a couple that only had a few ornaments on their Christmas tree. I decided that I only wanted to put ornaments on our tree that had some kind of meaning or significance to us. Thus, we did not go to the store and buy a bunch of ornaments to fill up our tree. Instead, we only had a few ornaments those first years and each year we added ornaments. Then we started traveling all over the world and the idea came to get an ornament from each place we traveled. Also, we decided to get an ornament that summed up the year. Now, the tree trimming time has become an annual opportunity to share our family history. We lay all the ornaments out on a table and one by one each family members takes a turn choosing an ornament and telling the story behind it. We all chime in with memories from that trip or that year. It is a bonding experience and has the added bonus of helping the younger kids understand what our family did before they were born.

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7. MINI-CHRISTMAS TREES (FAKE) IN KIDS’ BEDROOMS Besides the big tree in our living room, each of the kids likes to decorate their own small tree with special ornaments. In the past the boys have decorated their tree with Lego superhero figures. Laurie and have special antique, Russian ornaments we bought from a street seller when we lived in Uzbekistan. They are glass and are a special part of our marriage memories. For much of their lives our kids have shared a bedroom with their siblings, so this has been another opportunity for them to work together. 8. CHRISTMAS DISHES Another little treat we got early on that turned into a tradition was Christmas-themed dishes. We have plates with winter scenes or reindeer, and the kids look forward to using them each year. They add a little fun to mealtimes. As the kids have aged this has become less of a priority. 9. KIDS GIVE EACH OTHER AN ORNAMENT For a while we went back and forth about what the kids should get each other for Christmas each year. With a large family this can be a real dilemma. We solved it by having each child draw another child’s name and then they buy an ornament for that child. Laurie writes the name and the year on the ornament. As each child goes off on their own and has their own tree they will get their ornaments and have a good start with meaningful ornaments. 10. HOMEMADE ORNAMENTS Another thing we did in Kazakhstan was have an ornament making party. One family found a bunch of Christmas ornament crafts and had us come over and spend an evening making ornaments. One simple, elegant one that we still have on our tree is a walnut half with a red thread tied around it. Did you know that a walnut half is heart-shaped? Another team member hosted a Christmas craft party. They didn’t make ornaments but decorations to put around the house. Hosting something like this is a fun way to get together with friends and make something that you can put up each Christmas, thus making a lasting memory. Our walnut ornaments are over 20 years old and each year when we put them on the tree it brings back memories of that time in Aktau with those precious people.

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11. FAVORITE CHRISTMAS MOVIES Over the years we have watched tons of Christmas movies and have found a few that we watch every year. Starting after Thanksgiving we begin watching these movies a couple per week until the big day. Here is our list. The key is to pick some that your family loves and looks forward to each year. It’s a Wonderful Life Miracle on 34th Street A Christmas Carol – we enjoy a few versions- George C Scott, Muppets, Jim Carrey animated Polar Express Elf Charlie Brown The Nativity Story – We always watch this one on Christmas Eve. The Grinch, Rudolf, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, The Year Without a Santa Claus, Frosty 12. ST. LUCY’S DAY

When Emily, our oldest child, was young she read an American Girl book in which the girl is from Sweden and celebrates St. Lucy’s Day on December 13. She and Laurie got up when it was still dark made a wreath with candles to wear on her head and woke us up to serve sweet bread and hot chocolate. I was not a good sport, but the tradition stuck. Kaylie our youngest daughter did it after Emily got older. I think now that both girls are older, we have discontinued this one. This is an example of one of those traditions that fits a category of something that we learned about, tried, and then continued doing. We have done many things that did not “stick”. Having the freedom to try things and decide to not continue them is very important in the process of developing family traditions. Perhaps you learn about something they do in Norway or Germany or New Zealand and want to try it. Go for it. Your kids learn about another culture and a memory is made. Read more about St. Lucy’s Day here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Lucy%27s_Day

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13. SPECIAL COLLECTIBLE GIFT At each child’s first Christmas we picked out a gift that we would give them each year as a

collectible. Honestly, this one has special meaning to our kids but has become a bit of a burden over the years (we didn’t know we were going to have 7 kids when we started it!). Emily gets a camel. A camel probably seems like a weird item, but we were living in Kazakhstan in her early years and camels were all over the place so it made sense back then. After Emily the items became a bit more traditional. Hudson gets boats, Hayden gets cars, Keaton gets airplanes, Colton gets trains, Kaylie gets special dolls, and Weston gets bicycles/motorcycles. Each year they open them altogether and put them in the special place in our home for their collectible. Now that Emily has finished university, we have stopped giving her the camels. 14. SPECIAL MEALS & PARTIES We usually have certain parties we go to as well as certain meals that are the same each year. I mentioned the foil packets when we decorate the tree, but we also usually have a soup potluck with other families and for Christmas morning we have Laurie’s wonderfully scrumptious cinnamon rolls. Our whole family looks forward to each of these special times, and food has a special magic for making memories. 15. CHRISTMAS SHOPPING SPECIAL TIMES

Christmas shopping can be very stressful, but it does not have to be. One bonus for us when we lived overseas was that there was no temptation to get up early and fight the crowds for Black Friday deals. Amazingly, our Christmas season survived without saving a few dollars early that first Friday after Thanksgiving. This means you can totally avoid that day and still have a great Christmas and not go broke.

One way to make shopping more enjoyable is to plan special times to do it. As a couple Laurie and I plan at least one date to do shopping. We make sure we have all the time we need so we won’t feel rushed and then we go enjoy ourselves. We include time to sit and have a cup of coffee, to enjoy a meal, and, of course, to go through all the stores required to find all the items on our list. I’m not saying it isn’t stressful. Some dates have been better than others and there have been times we had significant conflict while Christmas shopping, but this is our best attempt to make it enjoyable.

Also, taking special dates with the kids to help them do their Christmas shopping has been a great way to connect and enjoy the season together. As the kids have grown and been able to earn some money through little jobs around the house and such, they have enjoyed the shopping more as well. Giving is such a key part of Christmas so we need to find ways to make it possible for our kids to give. Doing it with their own money makes it exponentially more special.

Of course, you may do most of your shopping online. Even this can be made special by doing it together with each child.

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16. HOMEMADE WRAPPING PAPER We started this when the kids were small which meant a huge mess but wonderful

memories. We take potatoes and cut them into shapes, dip them in paint, and then stamp the shape on butcher paper. Let it dry and there is your wrapping paper for the season. The shapes are Christmas shapes like candy cane, star, tree, bell, and so forth. Of course, you can get stamps at Hobby Lobby or wherever, but we like the homemade stamps. 17. STOCKINGS

Duke’s mom crocheted our kids’ stockings, so they are each very special. This goes with our whole morning routine (see below).

One thing that goes in our kids’ stockings is a new toothbrush. I remember one year when we forgot this, and the kids were quite upset. We also usually put some candy (except for our older kids who don’t eat candy) and some other smaller items the kids want. The key for Laurie (and our kids) is that every stocking is exactly even in terms of money spent. The kids notice even though they don’t know how much things cost; they just seem to have some sixth-sense about it. I’m thankful for my wife.

18. COOKIE DECORATING PARTY

This has been an opportunity to invite new friends or neighbors for a very fun evening. We make a ton of sugar cookies and gingerbread cookies in different shapes and then prepare a ton of icing in different colors. Add to the mix sprinkles and other toppings and everything is ready for a delicious memory maker. Sometimes we have included dinner but that is a ton of work, so we have found it better to just do the cookies. This is a lot of work, and I failed Laurie early on by leaving it all to her which made this a real burden. This is one that requires a full family effort. Another option we may try this year is to decorate a gingerbread house with friends.

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19. CHRISTMAS COOKIES GIVEAWAY We have our favorite cookies that Laurie and the kids make each year. It varies from year to year, but we usually have about 6-8 varieties from molasses cookies to checkerboard cookies to peanut butter cookies topped with a Hershey’s kiss to gingerbread cookies as well as Cherry Divinity and peanut butter fudge and peppermint fudge. My mouth is watering just typing the names. Of course, we keep some for ourselves and then we put the rest in little packages and give them to friends and neighbors. One funny story from our time in Turkey was that we tried to give them out but our Muslim friends were scared we made them out of pork (we didn’t) so they wouldn’t eat them. If you ever go to Cappadocia and get a cup of coffee at Mydonose Café in Göreme, look at the wall near the cash register, and you’ll see the Christmas cookies we gave them. We guess they thought they were works of art and didn’t want to eat them. 20. CAROLS BY CANDLELIGHT When we lived in Kazakhstan we worked with Australians whose Christmas celebration occurs during the summer. Their normal Christmas is celebrated at the beach, and it’s hot (picture Christmas in July in the American south). Their favorite tradition was going to the beach and singing Christmas carols by candlelight. Thus, in Kazakhstan in December they would put all their heaters on and make one room in their apartment sweltering hot, and we would join them in shorts and t-shirts and sing Christmas carols by candlelight. This was a lot of fun so we continued it. We have not done this every year, but it is fun. I think the key principle to this one is to look for people from other cultures and learn about their Christmas traditions and try them.

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21. CHRISTMAS EVE PAJAMAS One of the traditions Laurie brought with her from growing up was new pajamas on Christmas Eve. We open most of our presents on Christmas morning. The one exception is the Christmas Eve pajamas. They are wrapped in special paper to set them apart. Right before bedtime everyone opens their new pajamas together, and we take a family picture. A couple of notes on this is that Laurie and I often buy the kids’ pajamas together although sometimes since we lived overseas Laurie just ordered them online. Laurie’s mom buys them for us, and we buy them for the kids. At times we have given normal winter pajamas, but the last couple of years we have tried to get customized Christmas themed pajamas. Both ways have been fun. 22. CHRISTMAS MORNING ORDER OF EVENTS We have a special order of events on Christmas morning that has stayed pretty steady throughout the years. Our kids usually come in and wake Laurie and I up with a show (see below). Once we get up Laurie and I get the stockings ready and the kids line up outside the main room and enter to see their stockings and go through all the goodies. When that is done (no hurry) we make breakfast and eat. Then we light the last candle of Advent and sing Oh, Come Let Us Adore Him or a similar carol. Next, we open presents which usually takes quite a while given that we have at least nine people. By now, it is late morning, and the rest of the day involves taking a nap, playing with presents and probably playing some games and maybe watching a movie. While overseas we often had a big dinner with roast and vegetables. Now, that we are in America, we are not sure what we will do. Most of us stay in our pajamas all day. This order of events is strangely important to the kids. We have found that stretching the morning out and focusing much of it on Jesus has been good for all of us. 23. KIDS COME IN AND DO A SHOW I mentioned this above, so I’ll go into some detail here. I can’t remember when it started but when our oldest kids were young they loved putting on shows. We have hours of video of them performing shows the made up with their friends. Thus, we were surprised (but not so much) when one Christmas morning we were awakened to the kids walking in and performing a Christmas medley. It is always something they have made up, and they sing and usually each of them gets a solo (we are not a musical family so this is for our eyes/ears only). We love it and even begged them to do it last year when they were considering not doing it. This is just something they made up and showed that they had internalized the spirit of the season.

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24. HEIGHT LINE This is another tradition that Laurie brought from her family. I grew up with one younger brother, so my experience was a bit different. Laurie has four siblings, so she had the relatively big family experience. The height line has been a fun way to note the changes as the kids have grown. The kids line up outside of the room with the stockings in order of height from shortest to tallest. As the oldest Emily started at the back of the line but has slowly moved towards the front. Currently, our fourth child is the tallest, followed by the second, then third, then fifth, then sixth, the first, and Weston, our youngest, is still the shortest for a few more years. It is a small thing that marks the years.

25. JESUS’ BIRTHDAY CAKE On Christmas Eve or Christmas day we light candles on a cake Laurie has made and sing Happy Birthday to Jesus. This is a delicious reminder of why we are celebrating. Thankfully, Jesus wasn’t gluten-free.

With that you have 25 Christmas traditions to consider. I didn’t mention things like going to see a movie at the theater on Christmas day, going to see family or having family come over (being overseas for so many years, that wasn’t an option for us), or getting away.

Which of these do you want to try? What have I left out that you like to do?

May this be a wonderful Christmas season in which your whole family whole-heartedly celebrates the birth of King Jesus, the baby in the manger.