Supportive ConversationSupportive Conversation

A workshop forA workshop forAll teaching staffAll teaching staffDeveloped by Developed by Dr Ray BaleDr Ray Bale

5 Conversation Tools5 Conversation Tools

#1 Conversation Land #1 Conversation Land MinesMines

#2 Conversation #2 Conversation HotspotsHotspots

#3 The Way We #3 The Way We Respond to Respond to Engagement with Engagement with OthersOthers

#4 The Questioner’s #4 The Questioner’s FrameworkFramework

#5 Effective #5 Effective DelegationDelegation

A Conversation

Voice

Physical Behaviours

Face

Conversation Partner

HumanNatureHearing

Seeing

Location

Purpose

Text

The Map is not the Territory

Conversation is:-Highly interactive

-- Has many components-Is holisticConversation is a skill

-It requires practise-- We move through the learning cycle

-- When it’s second nature-It’s a very powerful tool

A Conversation can only be effective If you have a clear purpose

Conversation Landmines

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The Destructive Power of ‘Why?’

Conversation Landmine

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‘Calm down’ or ‘Be reasonable’

( Give him or her a pen and paper and say: ‘Write it down.’)

Conversation Landmine

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‘Because those are the rules.’

Conversation Landmine

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‘You never . . .’ or

‘You always . .’

Conversation Landmine

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‘Why can’t you be reasonable’

Conversation Landmine

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Ego-statements.

Conversation Landmine

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Suggesting improvements

Conversation Landmine

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Waiting to pounce

Conversation Landmine

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Looking or thinking elsewhere

Conversation Landmine

ConversationHot Spots 17

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Reciprocation

Conversation Hotspot

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Commitment and Consistency

Conversation Hotspot

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Social Truth

Conversation Hotspot

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Liking and being liked

Conversation Hotspot

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Expertise and authority

Conversation Hotspot

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Scarcity

Conversation Hotspot

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Conversation Tool # 3 ‘The Way We Respond to Engagement with Others.’

what is happening on the other side of the conversation?

Human Nature Motivation to act.Fear

Desire

Indicators

Body

VoiceFace

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Conversation Tool # 3

‘The Way We Respond to Engagement with Others.’

How are we perceived in a conversation?

Professional relationship

Social RelationshipExpectations

Location

Body

Voice

Face

Text

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Conversation Tool # 3

‘The Way We Respond to Engagement with Others.’

How do we understand the factors driving the conversation partner’s behaviour?

EmpathySympathy is an emotion.

Empathy is a tool

Empathy uses emotion and reason to understand

Empathy

Environment

Culture

Personal History

Prospects

Home

Income

Family Aspirations

Town

Group

Beliefs

Extended family

Traditions

Social truthsFood

Drink

Sleep

Siblings

Friends

Post-School

External Support

Empathy in Action

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Conversation Tool # 3 ‘

‘The Way We Respond to Engagement with Others.’

What are conditional responses? What do they look, sound, feel like?

What is said and what is actually happening are not always the same…….

Eyes Face Posture Voice

Direction

Breathing

Trust your non-conscious perception

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Conversation Tool # 3

‘The Way We Respond to Engagement with Others.’

How clear are you on the purpose of the conversation before you commence talking?

What is your goal?

When do you want it to happen?

How will you monitor progress?

Have you rehearsed the conversation?

28 Conversation Tools # 4

‘ The Questioner’s Framework’

Objective Questions

Data questions.

Common ground based on common information

Specific

Open-ended

Examples:‘What time did this happen?’‘Who was present?’‘What was said?’‘Where were people standing?‘Who spoke first?’‘Where was…..?’

29Conversation Tools N# 4 ‘ The Questioner’s Framework’

Reflective QuestionsFeelings Perceptions

Internal responses

Valid. Nothing to do with facts.

Establishing rapportExamples:‘What did it remind you of?’‘How does it make you feel?’‘Where did you struggle with this?’‘What surprised you about it?‘How did you feel when you found out?‘What do you remember about…?’‘’What reason did you have for …?’

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Conversation Tools N# 4 ‘ The Questioner’s Framework’

Interpretive Questions

Brings together Objective, Reflective and Third Party information.

Impact on others

Thoughts and feelings of others

Expectations from others

What will happen if nothing changes?

Examples:‘What does this mean for the future?’‘How will this affect your relations with…?’‘If nothing is done, what will happen?’‘What do others think and feel about this?’‘What have we learned about the impactthis has on . . .?’‘What would you change if you could?’

31Conversation Tools # 4 ‘ The Questioner’s Framework’

Action Questions

What to do.

Choice is vital.

Three options minimum.

Actor must formulate choices.

Examples:‘What can you do about this in the future?’‘What can you do to change things?’‘What do you want to see happen?’‘What help/support do you need to do this?’‘What new information/knowledge do you needto move forward?’

32Conversation Tools # 4 ‘ The Questioner’s Framework’

Decisional Questions.

Ownership of the future action

Commitment

Responsibility

Necessity for a timeline

Review

Examples:‘Which is the best course of action?’‘What is the first step in implementing thiscourse of action?’‘What does the course of action require youto do?’‘When will you begin to do that?‘How will you/I know you are succeeding?

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Conversation Tools # 4 ‘ The Questioner’s Framework’

Practice Conversation:

‘The Staff Bully’

34Conversation Tools # 4 ‘ The Questioner’s Framework’

Practice Conversation:

‘The Aggressive Parent’

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Conversation Tools # 4 ‘ The Questioner’s Framework’

Questions and Discussion

37Conversation Tool # 5 ‘Effective Delegation’

Why delegate?

What is delegation?OutputStrategies Hours

InHoursOut Value of strategy.

Do it yourself 1 1 Only for highly sensitiveor life-changing tasks

Assign to other(s)

Depends ontraining req.

Depends on no.of repetitions

Best practice for regular and routine work

Delegate Varies withlevel of delegation

Multiples ofdelegationinput time

Most productive way to achieve high levels ofcommitment, responsibilitytaking and output.

What are our alternativesAnd how do they compare?

38 Conversation Tool # 5 ‘Effective Delegation’

Key Points of Delegation Practice.

1] The goal of delegation is threefold:-Effective use of resources.-- Staff Development-- Effective use of time 2] Delegate according to skill level,

Knowledge and experience of Delegatee.

3] Analyze situation in terms of importance of taskand existing skills, knowledge and experience levelsof staff.

39 Conversation Tool # 5 ‘Effective Delegation’

The Four Levels of Delegation

Level Type of delegation, support, praise and redirect Delegatee

Level 1. Instructing – tell, show, model-Frequent monitoring and meeting, check carefully-Oversight of decision making and implementation-High level of support. Praise satisfactory progressat incremental achievement level. Redirect asneeded

Beginner-enthusiastic-energetic-inexperienced

Level 2. Coaching - show, model-monitoring, check task achievement-- Oversight of major decisions-- High level of support, frequent meetings-- Praise progress and incremental outcomes. -Redirect as needed.

Experienced personmoving into new area of responsibility

40 Conversation Tool # 5 ‘Effective Delegation’

The Four Levels of Delegation

Level Type of delegation, support, praise and redirect Delegatee

Level 3 Assisting – show, model-Less frequent monitoring, observe that task isbeing done.-- Discussion of major decisions-- Regular meetings as needed-- Expectation of success-- Praise progress and stage outcomes. Redirectas needed.

BeginningexecutiveExperiencedperson in familiar area of responsibility

Level 4. Delegating – learning with-Discuss requirements of task, accept suggestions-- Informal monitoring-- all decisions made by delegatee-- praise outcomes and progress-- no need for redirect

Highly competent.experienced andcommitted person

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Conversation Tool # 5 ‘Effective Delegation’

Two Illustrations Why Levels of Delegation Are Useful.

Low Support

HighSupport

Directing Delegating

Level 1.

Level 2.

Level 3. Level 4.

Effectiveness InclineChart

42Conversation Tool # 5 ‘Effective Delegation’ Competence and Commitment

Chart

Delegatee Profile

COMPETENCE

High

Low

COMMITMENTLow High

Level 4.Delegatee

Level 3 Delegatee

Level 2 Delegatee

Level 1 Delegatee

43Conversation Tool # 5 ‘Effective Delegation’

Practise:

Planning the Delegation

Process.

Questions and

Discussion

That’s All Folks!

Ray BaleAltus Quality Coaching

0427 311 112(02) 63729991