Thelast)mewele,theGoodytwoshoes,thingshadtakenadecidedlyArthurianturn,withDinadanLocksofGoldilocks and the Nine Heirs addedtothefamily.

NobodyseemstohavegoAenanybrighter,however,asit’sseldomadvisabletohavesnowballfightsinthefamilygraveyardinyourjimjams.

~~~~~~

I’veaddedabitofentertainmenttothischapter.Sincewe’reinreversegenderPleasantview,you’llseealotofcrossgenderedMaxistownies.Seeifyoucanrecognizethem!

TheoldestoftheseknightlyliAleGoodytwoshoesarethetwins,Parsifal,onthele,,andGawaine,ontheright.Theyare,forthemostpart,verygoodfriends.

Theyarealsofiercecompe)torsinlearning‐‐

‐‐inarms‐‐

‐‐andingeneralchivalryandbravery.Gawaine:Hah!Iwasnotafraidofthatghost,Percy.ThatisbecauseIam

theeldest,andIamtheleader.You’realsotheonewiththeredghostsignoveryourhead.

Eggplantjuice?Parsifal:IdonotwishtofallbehindGawaineinmydedica)ontothefamily’s

honorandwell‐being.Or,moresimply,behindGawaine.Parsifal:Well...Yes.

TheirliAlebrother,Palomides,isbeinglookeda,erbythefamilyServo,Killick.

Killickwasalsomarriedtomyfi,hgenera)onheiress,Ruby,butthatwassolongagothatPenelopeneverevenmetRuby.

Andeventhoughhehasasaltyvocabulary,andeventhoughitisTalkLikeAPirateWeekend,KillickisabletotonethelanguagedownfortheliAleones.

Killick:‘Costherewerethisbear,see?Anhecomedoutthruth’brushan’thePresidentsays,“Iain’tgonnashootthisbearaccountofitbein’small,see?”An’thebearetthePresidentan’itlivedhappyevera,er.*

*Historically,thisisnotwhatactuallyhappened.

Killick:An’it’sbloody(*&%^*in’luckyforyou,m’lad,whichitisacceptabletouse*(&%^%&whateverwordsIliketofelinesacostheydon’tgorepea)n’it,see,oryouwouldn’gettalkedtohalfsomuch.

Smores:Rrrrow.

WithKillick,thetwocats,Dinadan,Penelope,andthethreeboys,it’simpossibletotryforamuch‐wantedliAlegirl.Andsogenera)onSevenheiressSophiamovesoutwithherhusband,theformerJackBuccaneerofthePira3cal Legacy,forapleasantearlyre)rement.

Andmaybenothingmuchhaschanged.PamelaWade:Youjuststrolledinasifyouowntheplace.Jack:Youres)ma)onisnoten)relyincorrect,asinpointoffactIdidownthisplaceand

liveintheadjoiningdomicile.IamsoassuredthatIamwelcomeatall)mesinmydaughter’sandson‐in‐law’sresidencethatIfeelitwouldbetroublesometoimposeanactualrequestontheiraAen)on.

Pamela:Oh.Isee.

DinadanismuchmoreinterestedintheopportunitytoTryForBaby.We’vemarriedinotherhusbandswhowereeagertoTryForBabybecause

myheiressesareonlyallowedtoTryForBabyanditistheonlyWooHootheyget.Dinadan,however,reallywantstheactualbaby.SixGrandchildren.Argh.

Congratula)ons!ThoughIs)lldon’tunderstandtheques)onmark.IntheSims,anyway,ifyouhavetoasktheques)on,youalreadyknowtheanswer.

We’regoingtotakeadvantageofPenelope’searlypregnancyrightnow.

‐‐andopenuptheicecreamparlor,RoseIceCream.ThisissimilartothestoremyheiressesraninOldPleasantview,butofcoursePenelopehastobuilditupagainfromscratch.

Isupposewedon’treallyhaveto,butit’scustomaryformyheiresstoownaLevelTenbusinessandforherhusbandtorunatleastonebusiness,thefamilytoystore.Andwemustmaintaintradi)on.

ThisbringsbackoldmemoriesofPenelope’sgreat‐grandmotherRubydoingexactlythesamething.

You’llno)ceshe’sbellowingalmostintotheearoftheSimDocNerdcallsJerkyJake,whohasmadethelifeofCassidyVe)narisomiserable.Here,heisemployedfull)mebytheicecreamstore.

I’llleaveittoyoutodecideifthat’safifngpunishment.

Ididnotunderstandthisreporteratall.Foronething,Ididn’trecognizeherasareporteratfirst.Foranother,shegaveRoseIceCreamtheBestoftheBestAwardANDanega)vereview.MaybeshehasaLife)meMovieChannelpsychologicalcondi)on.Wemayneverknow.

Penelope:Hmm.  I think I recognize him.Recognizehim?Howabouttheblondtowniebackthere?

Penelope:Icecream,Mr.Legacina?Bigstupidexpensivepinkbear?

IanLegacina:Um,nothanks.Look,Idon’tlikebeingpressuredtodoanything.Life’stoughenough,youknow?JustletmelookattheicecreamandmaybeI’llbuysome,butreally,I’mheretoliveanicequietlifeandtobeletalone.

Ulysses,Penelope’sbrother,showsuptotosstheicecreamparlorafewstars,whichisalsotradi)onal—andniceofhim,consideringhecanonlyshopatnight.

YoumayrecognizeStanleyLegacyoftheVictorian Legacybehindhim.Canyouiden)fytheguyinthetracksuit?

Killickhasathanklesslife,soIthoughthedeservedatreatandabitoflove.Pamela:Whoosh.Cold.

Shedoeslookcold.Andonceagain,KillickhasfalleninlovewithaBVtownie,soyoucan’tsimplyinviteherover,oh,no,shehastostayforaminimumofthreedays.

MaybeI’lllethimdoitwhenthekidsaregrownup.

Ah,baby)me.Penelope:Bythefourth)me,therearen’tanysurprises.

Well,italwaysseemstomakeDinadanhappy.

He’scheering,hedoesn’tcareifit’saboyoragirl...Dinadan:Iwantsix!Ormore!

Penelope:Let’scallherElaine.Dinadan:Elaine.That’sbeau)ful.

I’mawfullypleasedthatyouhaveagirl,though,and‐‐Dinadan:Aboutthat,Professor.Um...yes?Dinadan:IwouldhavebeenhappyifElainehadbeenaboy,butjustpossiblyyou

mightnothavebeen.Infact,theremayhavebeensomeshenanigans.CouldIbribeyoutosayotherwise?Dinadan:I’munbribable,youknowthat.Butiftherewereanotherbaby,Imight

developaselec)vememory.

It’smorethan)metomeetsomeoftheotherneighborhoodchildrenandseesomebirthdays.

First,overatLyAon’shouse,hisgrandsonAlbertisabouttogrowup.BothoftheGoodytwoshoesboysandUlysses’daughterNausicaaareinvited.

YoumayrememberVictoria’shusbandAdrian,whodidthehonors.Itwasanicebreakfromgefnghim20BestFriends.

Albertlooksalotlikehismother,Victoria,andlikehisgrandmother,theSimselfRubyBlue.

Andofcourseitwasniceforhimtoplaywithhiscousins.

AlthoughGawainewasbusyelsewhere.

IkeeplookingatAlbertandthinkinghe’snamed“Stuart,”andthenIrememberStuartisinDicreasy’sVictorian Legacy,andthenIthinkI’vebecomecompletelylost.

AttheMidlock’s,liAleLenoreisthecenterofaAen)onforeverybody‐‐

Hervampireaun)eLucy‐‐

Herplantsimgrandfather,Appius‐‐

ButmostofallforhermotherCarmilla.

Carmillareallyisanaffec)onatemother.

Thoughsheisalsojustaffec)onate,period.Inpointoffact,shehasbeengoingforWooHoo20Sims,whichwouldbeimpossibleinthemainhouse.

Whilethelargegi,sofelectronicsaremuchappreciated,Iwishwehadthoughttoleavetheservicestaffforlast.Nowitisverydifficulttohaveanyoneoverwithout)ckingsomeoneoff.

SomeofMommy’sboyfriendsareclassactsandlikeplayingwithLenore,though.

LikeRhysFitzhugh.RhyscouldeasilyhavebeenLenore’sdaddy,ifthingshadgoneanotherway,soit’snicethathe’swillingtobeasortofstepdaddy.

(Note:thisdoesnotmakemeaRhysfangirl.)

HeractualdaddyisStanleyLegacy,andnowthatsheisolder,itisgefngharderandharderforCarmillatodateandnotupsetLenore.

InthelastRomanchapter,Marcusreferredtoafriendfromschoolwhohadtobele,behindsotheMariusfamilycouldgooffandgetMarcus’mommyanddaddyhitched.

Thatwasnotwhatitsoundedlike.

Thiswasthelast)meyousawhim—Bunthorne,thesonofHeatherHuffingtonandBarreAGoodytwoshoes.

BarreA’sfromtheextremelyaesthe)cbranchofthefamily,descendedfromCecilandLyAon’sbrotherDeBeersandtheSimselfMichelleFobbs,andfromhissonDanteGabriel,and

Oops.YouknowhowbaditmakesyoufeelwhenaSimgetsoldordiesbecauseyou

haven’tbeenpayingaAen)on.Well,it’smuchworsewhenit’saSimself.MichelleFobbs,theauthorofthePlanetary Apocalypse,gotdibsiesonDeBeersandhasbeeninmygameforatleastayearandahalf.ShewasplayingwiththebabywhenGrimcamecallingandBrutuscametotakethebabyfromher.

Thismakesmefeelevenworse,becauseDeBeershasalwaysbeenaquiet,shy,andaffec)onatehusband,devotedtohisartandtohisfamily,andhewaswrecked.

DGwasn’tmuchbeAerlosinghismother.

BarreAwasveryupset,too.

DeBeers:*snf*LyAon?Goodidea.Ican’tthinkofanyonebeAertocallthanyoursympathe)c

youngerbrotherLyAon.

Infact,theonlySimwhowaslargelyunaffectedwasthisyoungman.

Andthat’sprobablyasitshouldbe.HewasonlyababywhenGreatGrandmadied,eventhoughit’sprac)callythefirstthingheremembers.

It’saguy‐heavyhouse.Heatheristheonlyladytherenow.Althoughit’scompensatedforabitbythefactthatalltheguysareveryaesthe)c,artsy,andfashionableguys.

ItmustbeadmiAedthatGrandpaBrutusissloppyenoughtoburptheNa)onalAnthemandthinkitwashilarious,butontheotherhand,hewearsatogawithstyleandlovestoplaywithchildren.

AndthereisnoonebeAerthanGrandpaDGtoteachBunthornetotalk.Helovestotalkandtohearhimselftalk.Orbetalkedabout.We’llseeifthecharactertraitrubsoff.

DeBeers:Blowoutthecandlesonyourcake!

Bunthorne:Mycandles.Mycake.Mine.DeBeers:It’snotallyours!

Bunthorne:Mine.

Buthe’scute,isn’the?Sowhatifhe’smaxedplayfulandMean?Justdon’ttellBrutus,orhewillEncourageBunthornetobeNice.

Sonowthatyou’remettheotherchildreninthefamily,it’s)metogetbacktothemainhouse...

Forabirthdayparty.Oops.Io,endon’tno)cetheFearofaPartyun)lit’stoolate.

Palomides:Yay!I’mbig!Igettobeaknightnow!

Parsifal:Justonemoment,dearbrother.Ofcourseyouwouldliketobeaknight,butsuchanhonorisnottobehadfortheasking.

Palomides:Itisn’t?Parsifal:Indeedno.Onemustask—haveIthestrength?Thepurityofcharacter?

Thecustomcontent?Andalas,youdonothavethecustomcontent.Palomides:So...IfIcan’tbeaknight,whatcanIbe?

Palomides:ButIdon’twanna!Parsifal:Iamstoppingmyears,youngerbrother.Whatmustbe,mustbe.

Palomides:Oh,man.Thisissuckyanditsucks.

Gawaine:What’sthis?IthoughtPercyexplainedtoyouthatyoucan’tbeaknight.There’snotenoughCCforyouandsoyousimplyhavetobeadragon.

Palomides:Tough.

Gawaine:Don’tbeunreasonable.Youdon’tMATCH.Youcan’tbeaknightifyoudon’tmatch.

Palomides:Whosaidso?

Gawaine:Isaidso,andI’mtheoldestandI’mnameda,erthegreatestknightofArthur’scourt,sowhatIsaygoes.

Palomides:Well,I’maSaracenknight,soIcandresshowIwantto.AndIbetifyouaskedDaddyhewouldsayyouhavetotreatmejustthesameandthateverybodycanbeaknightornobodycanbeaknightatall.

Gawaine:Oh,allRIGHT.YoucanbeaKnight.Butfirstyouhavetogothroughaterrifyingordeal.

Percy:Why?Wedidn’thaveaterrifyingordeal.Knightshavetohavepurityofheartandbetruthfulandhaveasenseofjus)ceanditdoesn’tseemfairforPalomidestohaveanordealthat...

Gawaine:ShutUP,Percy.

Gawaine:Inthatcase...WelcometotheArmory,Palomides.

Palomides:Whoa.

Gawaine:DaddyletushaveitaslongaswepromisedtobegoodknightsandtohelpMomandElaine.

AndsoPalomides’trainingbeganrightaway.

Andsoonitwasasthoughhehadalwaysbeenthere—sleepingintheroomwithhisolderbrothers,trainingwiththem‐‐

GossipingabouttheircousinNausicaa—wait,thatdoesn’tseemverychivalrous.

Gawaine:I’mnotsayinganythingMEAN,I’msayingNausicaaiscomingovertoday.

Whichturnedouttobetrue.

Infact,allthecousinswereinvitedoveronthelastdayofGawaineandParsifal’schildhood.

Someofthem,includingBunthorne,hadalreadycomeoverasfriendsfromschoolandwerefriendsalready.

AlbertandParsifalwerealreadyverygoodfriendsandclosetobeingbestfriends.

Parsifal:It’sbecausehewearsthewhitelilyofablamelesslife.

Andthereisalwaysfishingtogetpeopletomakefriends.

JustareminderofwhattheGoodytwoshoesfishpondlookslike‐‐

This.

It’sonlyfunny‐‐

‐‐un)lsomebodycatchesaboot.

AndthenIletthemdosomethingmyGoodytwoshoeschildrennever,everhavebefore.

ItseemsoddthateveryGoodytwoshoeshusbandhastoearnaGoldToymakingbadge,andyetthechildrendon’tgettoplaywiththetoys.I’vebeenlooseningupabitandlefngthembekids.Andthisisthefirst)meanyonehasplayedwithaWaterWiggler,insteadofjustmakingthem.FirstitwasjustParsifalandAlbert‐‐

ThenGawaineandPalomidesjoinedin‐‐

ThenNausicaa‐‐

Andfinallytheyardwasfullofwet,laughingchildren.

A,eradaylikethat,someofthechildrenwerethebestoffriends.

Andtheywerecoldenoughtoneedsomecocoa,butveryhappy.Parsifal:Thatwasfun!Ibetnobodyelsehasthatmuchfuninthewater!

Notevenatthebeach!

Cecil:Perhaps.You?AlmosteveryonehasforgoAenaboutyou,Cecil.Whereareyou,

anyway?Cecil:Thatisimmaterial,Professor.CeciliaandIareonourtravelsforher

healthandallisgoingexceedinglywell.

Cecil:Irepeat:Allisgoingexceedinglywell.

Lucy:Geez,you’retense,Max.Whenyoudie,they’regoingtohavetoputonyourgrave“HerestandsMaxGoodytwoshoes.”

Max:Grandpapacalled.Hesaid“allisgoingexceedinglywell.”Ihavenoideawhat“allisgoingexceedinglywell”meansinhismind.IworryaboutMamaifherefusestoface—OW!

Lucy:Don’tbeacrybaby,Max,it’sgoodforyou.

MaxandLucy—andUlysses,andafewotherfamilymembers—wereinvitedtoGawaineandParsifal’sbirthday.

Gawaine:Iamtheoldest.Ihopethat’sevident.

Parsifal:Allright.Iwillwait.Youcangofirst.Gawaine:Alreadyam!

Gawaine:Alreadydid!

AndwhenthedusthadseAled,bothofthemhadrolledPopularity.

JackandSophiawereontheinvita)onlist,ofcourse,notthatJackrequiresaninvita)on.

Gawaine:Definitelyyes.

GawainerolledthewanttoBeTheLaw,whichisjustsohim,itbogglesmymind.

Parsifal,ontheotherhand—Parsifal:Iseenoreasonwhymystrengthandpurityofheartshouldnot

makemeanexcellentathlete.I’ms)llnotconvincedthatPopularityisrightforhim,butsincehealways

doeswhatGawainedoes,perhapsthediceknowbest.

Anda,eralltheexcitement,theboysre)redtotheArmory,andallwasasithadbeenbefore.

Also,nowthattheboysareover,theycanbeinvitedovertoUncleUlysses’housetogettoknowhimwhenheisawakeandstaythere)llallhours,hogginghishottubandbraggingabouttheirbirthdayparty.

Ulysses:Luckyme.

UlyssesislikehissisterPenelope—shy.Sohislifeismostlyabouthisjobandhischildren.HehastwoliAlealienkids.ThisisTelemachus.

He’sbeenabletoraiseTelemachusandtrainhiminhistoddlerskillsbytakingadvantageofirregulartoddersleephours.

It’sabittougherforchildren,butNausicaao,engetsupatfourorfiveinthemorning,sinceshehasaveryhighenergybed.Thensheandherdaddyareabletotalkandplaybeforehehastogotohiscoffinandshehastogotoschool.

NoneofthiswouldbepossiblewithoutUncleAchillesbeingaroundduringtheday,makingdinnerandrunningbathsandplayingPimpViking.

YoucanneverbequitesurethatUlyssesisn’tgoingtodosomethinghammer‐headedanddie,andyetheisn’thappyifhejustliesaround—well,under—thehouse.IlethimworktowardshissecondLTWfornogoodreasonotherthanitmadehimhappy.

TheGoodytwoshoescousinswereinvitedoverforNausicaaandTelemachus’birthdays,andNausicaabecameBestFriendswithPalomides‐‐

EventhoughheisameanliAlejerkandkeptclockingherwithbaseballs.

Gawaine’stoooldtoclockheranymorerightnow,buthe’snotaboveadmonishingher,whichI’msuregetsreallyold,reallyfast.

NomaAerhowpreAyheis,GawainealwayslooksasthoughheknowsbestbecauseheistheBestoftheKnights(he’stheoldest,remember?)

AndParsifaladmonishesbecausehehasthemoralpurityoften,andingeneraltheycanbothbecomealiAleirrita)ng.

IthinkwithGawaine,it’spartlyolder‐brothersyndrome.

Whichsome)mesisitsownpunishment.

Atlastit’ssundown,and)meforthebirthdayparty,andit’safullhouse,withJack(walkingawayfromthecamera)allthreeknightlyGoodytwoshoesboys,theTerrorTwins,Max,DocNerd,DonnaLothario,andafewothers.

Readytogrowup,Nausicaa?Nausicaa:Yep.

Nicelooking,butthedresshasgottogo.You’llno)cethatPenelopeandVictoria’syoungersisterReginawasinvited.

That’simportant,asReginaistheGoodygirlsplaceholderandit’snevertoosoontoworkongefngin.

Ulysses:Who’sthegirlinthebathingsuit?Don’tknow,justsomerandomtownie.Let’sletTelemachusblowouthis

candles.

Carmilla:Awesome!Whoo!DonnaLothario:Atleasta9.5!

AsyoucanseeTelemachusgrewupwell,andveryhappy.Andhisgrowingupisalmostimmediatelyupstaged.

EvidentlyDocNerdgot)redofwai)ngforUlyssestomakeamove,andshehasapoint.

ThismeansthatUlyssesisinloveforthefirst)meinhislife,sotherearenogive‐backs,Doc.

Sofar,shedoesn’tseemtomind.

Ulysses:Iworryabouttheimplica)onsofthis.Lucy:Hey!UlyssesisHOT!

Toolate,Lucy.

Ulysses:OK,um,Dad—Ihadn’texactlypreparedforthispossibility.I’vegottwokids,andI’mavampire—Ican’tofferareallynormallife,andyetmaybeIshouldaskhertomarryme.Maybethat’swhatsheexpects.Maybeshe’llbeupsetifIdon’torevenmoreupsetifIdo,or‐‐

Doc:‘Scuseme,gents,myearsareburning.

Jack:AsIwasabouttostatebeforethisyoungladymadeherappearance,perhapsitwouldbewisetoascertainherwishesinanopenendedmanner.

Ulysses:Um...?Jack:Askherwhatshewants.

DocNerd:Why,Iwouldliketobeawerewolf!Thanksforasking!

WhichIsupposeisKnowledgeSimfor“let’stakethisrela)onshipslowly.”

IthinkNausicaaisreallypreAy.Ijustwishshehadn’trolledPleasurewithanLTWof50DreamDates.Idon’tthinkitsuitsaPiscesSimwhohaszeroOutgoingpoints,fivePlayful,andtenNice,butwhatdoIknow.MaybeshejustneedstofindtherightSim.

It’stoosoontoknowwhatTelemachuswantstobewhenhegrowsup,buthe’sgotalessextremepersonalitythanhissister:Cancer,oneOutgoingpoint,sixPlayfulandeightnice.

AtanotherGoodytwoshoeshouse,LyAonisbondingwithhisgrandsonAlbert‐‐

‐‐AndAlbert’sfatherAdrianisworkingonthat20BestFriendLTW.HegotthreecrossgenderedMaxistowniesthis)me!Guesswhotheyare.

LegacySimsalsomaketheirappearance.

It’salwaysfuntofindoutwhatcareersimportedLegacySimshavegoneinto.ItlooksasthoughRhysisinthemilitary‐‐

AndApolloBohemianisinScience.IchangedhimintohisregularclothesusingInSim,orelseIwouldn’thaverecognizedhimatall.

Readytoputchildishthingsbehindyou,Albert?Albert:OK.

Albert:ButIwishyouwouldtellhimtogetoutoftheshot.Apollo:I’minurpartystealin’urfocus!

CarmillawasalsoinvitedandwasdelightedthatRhyswasthere.Albert:It’smybirthday?Anyone?

Noworries,Albert.Everyoneknowsthat.AlbertrolledPopularity,20BestFriends,likehisfather.WithbothGawaine

andParsifalalsoPopSims,acertainpictureisstar)ngtoemerge.

NowthatAlbertisgrownup,itseemedlikeagoodideatostartdoingsomefamilyportraits.Thereisonlyoneproblemwiththis—Is)nkatusingposeboxes.

Maybeasecondproblem—takingapictureinagroupcontainingthreePopSimsisfraughtwithdifficul)es.AnditwasextremelydifficulttoposeAdrian,inpar)cular‐‐

‐‐somuchsothatImayhavebecomea)nybitfrustrated.

Nevermind.Theymakeacharmingfamilygroup.

Overattheaesthe)chouse,HeatherachievedherLTWtoreachthetopoftheslackercareer,thusmakingitpossibleformetoignoreher.DGalsopulledareally,reallygoodchancecard.

DG:Whosaidthemilitarydidn’tsuitme?EvidentlytheSimsmilitarysuitsyoufine.

Bunthorne:Alas.

Sadly,BunthornemayhaveinheritedsomeofGrandpa’sspeechpaAerns,too.

Bunthorne:Well,howwouldyoureacttoamediocregrade?

Telemachuscameoverasafriendfromschool.Iloveseeinghowhappytheyaretomakefriends.

Bunthornestartledme,though,byrolling—notPop,norRomance,notevenKnowledgelikeGreat‐GrandpaDeBeers‐‐

Fortune.HallofFamer.He’ssloppyandmaxedPlayfulandreallymean,anditdoesn’treallyfitwiththeaesthe)candar)s)cheritageofhisfamily,butFortunemightworkforaSimwhoisgoingtoinheritanartgallery.

Bunthorne:Ifyouaregoingtocapitalizeonmyfeaturesbymakingacalendar,Iwillinsistongefngacut.

Carmillaiss)llgefngalongwellwithLenore,butit’sgefngtrickier.Infact,Lenoreonceno)cedthatMommywasonadatewithsomeoneotherthanDaddy,andstartedtocry.Isupposewhatworksforadultsdoesn’talwaysworksowellforkids.

Mrs.C:Thatisbecauseyouareanaughty,naughtyyoungwoman!Carmilla:Look,Mrs.C,Idon’twanttohavetoopenupacanofwhoopasson

you.

Carmilla:ButIwillifIhaveto.Mrs.Ccan’tleaveCarmillaalone.It’stheblowbackfromusingtheWishing

Welltoomuch.NormallyCarmillagetsalongwellwithmaleRomanceSims.

Naturally,Cassiushadtocomeover,introducehimself‐‐

‐‐andpickafight.Bythe)meIhadCarmillaaskhimtoleave,theywerebelow‐20andshehadtheop)onstoFightandBuyOffWith$50.

CanIstateagain,fortherecord,thatIhatethis?Idon’tcarethatthey’rehigh‐chemistryRomanceSims,Eaxis,theyHATEeachother.Cassiusisn’tevengoingtorememberthis,De,sodon’thatehimforit.ItookmostofmySquingehacksout,butImissLessRoman)cGreetandGoodbye.

Carmillahasbeenrestric)ngherda)ngtowhenLenoreisinbedorinschool,andbynow,Lenoreisbringinghomefriends.

Likethisone.Zane:Hey,Lenore,doyouhavetobesomean?Ijustwantedtobeyour

friend!

Lenore:Dothatagain.Believeme,Lenore,intheDevereaux LegacyZaneisalltoofamiliarwiththis

kindofthing,butIdon’treallythinkhemissesit.

Icouldbewrong,though.ZanegottonsofAspira)onpointsforalmosteverysingleinterac)on,includingtheonesinwhichLenorekickedhiminthehead.

Zane:Igottomakefriendswithameananddifficultgirl!YAY!

Lenore,infact,makesahabitofinvi)ngliAleboyshome,kickingthestuffingoutofthem‐‐

Andendingupwithanicebighug.

Finally,it’s)meforLenore’sbirthday.You’llno)ceDaddyStanleywasinvited,ofcourse,aswellasPenelope‐‐

AndUlysses,asalong)mefriendofthefamily.Ulysses:Iwasvampedinthisveryhouse!

Makeawish,Lenore,andgrowuptobe....

Family?That’sasoutofsyncwithherfamilyasFortuneisforBunthorne’s.There

haven’tbeenanyFamilySimsinLenore’sfamily,ever—justKnowledge,andrecentlymorePleasureandRomance.ShealsowantstoGraduateThreeChildrenFromCollege—howisshegoingtodothatandkeepupthefamily’ssupernaturaltradi)ons?

Ohwell,that’saworryforanotherday.Stanley:Ican’tbelievehowgrownupandpreAyyoulook!StanleymostlyhastheKomeifacetemplate,andCarmillahasBenLong’s,andthe

resultsAREpreAy,thanksverymuch.Mean,yes,butpreAy.

She’salsoquicklyinductedintothefamilyrockband,theCounselsofDespera)on.

Thefamilyissomeanthattheyareconstantlyspyingontheneighbors,andalltheslappingisaggrava)ngMor)ciaGoth’sarthri)s.Theonlywaytomakethemstopistohavethemplayinginstrumentswheneverthey’reawake.

PlusLenoremakesacutegirldrummer.

BackatLegacyMain,PenelopeisenjoyingherselfasonlyapregnantKnowledgeSimcan—wanderingthegroundslateatnight,lookingforghosts.

Fortunately,Dinadanisaverysuppor)vehusband.

Parsifalisquiteseriousaboutfeatsofarmsthesedays.

‐‐andthecoopera)verivalrybetweenthesetwohasnotwornoff.Parsifal:WhydoyouaskifIcheat,brother?Youknowmypurityofheart

doesnotallowit.Infact—Gawaine:‐‐youweregoingtosaythatI’mtheonewhocheats,onlysuchis

yourvirtuethatyouwouldneverdreamofsayingsuchathing,yeah.

Gawaine:Youknowourgoalistoprotectthefamily,especiallyoursister,onlysofarthere’snothingtodo.Sointhemean)me,thereisonequestIthinkweoughttocomplete.

Parsifal:ShouldweaskDadforPermissionToGoOut?

Gawaine:YouthinkrealknightsasktheirfathersforPermissiontogoonquests?Percy,seriously.

...probablyweshould.

Cashieryoumayrecognize:Areyouchafngmeup?Wereyouthinkingofaskingmeonadate?

Parsifal:Um...IthinkI’msworntochas)ty,yes,thatwouldbeit.

‐‐Oh,Parsifal,youfibber.BothheandGawainecheckedheroutanddidn’tlikehermuch,becausetheyhaveridiculousturnonslikecustomhairandhatsandfullfacemakeup,whicharegoingtogetchanged.Theymerelywentdowntownquietlytosettheirgenderpreferences‐‐

Andtobuycellphones,whichisprobablymoreinteres)ngtoPopSimsanyway.

DinadanalsobroughtGawaineandParsifaltoworkatthefamilytoystore.DinadanboughtTyke’sTowerToyssome)meago,mostlybecauseIwas)redofrunningInnerChildToysandGi,s.

PoorMor)mer.Allheeverdidwasfoundthesciencenerdbranchofthefamilyandsetupthelocalrobo)csstore.He’slivedaquietlifehereinWeivtnasaelp,andhecan’tleavethehousewithouthavingDinadanHardSellhimsomethinghedefinitelydoesn’twant.

EvenfarmoreruthlessSimsthanMor)mercan’tresistDinadannow.

ButthestarsalesmanisKillick.WriterTina:Idonotinanywaywishtopurchaseabear.Notasmallbear,

noralargebear,norastupidexpensiveGiantBear.Nobearsatall.

Killick:Whichyouwillbebuyin’a(&(^&*^&in’bear.WriterTina:Oooo.

Killick:Buya)(&(^&*^&in’bear.PurpleBunny:Yes!

Achilles:Wherearethebears?

IsuspectthatAchillesreallyfollowedthisfascina)ngspecimenofwomanhoodintotheshop.

Killick:WhichIisonlycallin’itanutcrackeracositcracksnutsan’nothingfunnyaboutit.

Flavius:Fascina)ng!

Youdidn’tunderstandthatatall,didyou?Flavius:Face)me!

Parsifal:Congratula)onsongefngalltheConnec)onsperks!That’stherealreasonDinadaninvitedthemdowntothebusiness.PopSims

especiallylovehavingtheHeadForNumbersperk.Theydidn’tgodowntotheicecreamshop,butPenelopemadeonelastrun

beforethebabycame.

Penelopehasmaintainedthetradi)onofsellingVeryExpensiveStupidPinkBears,mostlytosimselveslikeCandi(Chili Catastrophe.)

Penelope:Icecream,PurpleBunny!PurpleBunny:Oooo!

She’sreallybecomingoneofourbestcustomers.

Rhys:ThisisanewneighborhoodandIamNOTgoingtobuyicecreamandBigExpensiveStupidPinkBears.Irefuseto—

Penelope:BigExpensiveStupidPinkBear!

Rhys:YESS!‐‐dang.

There’sthatmysteriousblondtownieagain.Sheseemstoliketheicecreamstore,andshelooksveryfamiliar.

ZeeshanmaybeDocNerd’sJerkyJake,butherehe’sareallygoodemployee.Helovessellingpeoplestufftheydon’tneed.

Zeeshan:Cha‐CHING!

Thereportercamebackandwroteaposi)vereviewandgaveusasecondBestoftheBestAward.Maybeshehadhermemorymodified.Weputbothofthemonthewallandcustomersandemployeesalikewalkbythemandapprove.

However,whatwereallywantistogetthebusinesstoLevelTen.Onceyou’vedoneFiveTopBusinesses,oneoftwothingshappens—youhatethesightofabusiness,orit’sbecomeanaddic)onandyoucan’tstop.

Wemaybeabletowrapthisup.Penelope:Soooo,DocNerd.Iunderstandyou’reinlovewithmybrother.

DocNerd:Yeah.What’stheproblem?

Penelope:Oh,noproblem.It’sjustthatUlyssesisaliAle...slow?

Penelope:AndIneedONEMOREGOLDSTARandwe’llbeatLevelTenandIsweartoyouthatifyougivemeoneandIcangohomeandputmyswollenanklesupIwillcallUlyssesandtellhimtospeeduphisgame.

Penelope:Iknewwe’dunderstandeachother.

SoDocNerdwasthrilledtobuysomeicecreamorsomethingandgavePenelopethelastgoldstartoputthebusinessatLevelTen,andhereisthepicturetoproveit.

Penelope:So,Zeeshan,I’mgoinghomenowandI’dlikeyoutobemanagersoIdon’teverhavetocomeback.I’llbecallinginonceinawhiletocollectsomemoney,butotherwiseI’mleavingyouheretoworkalongweekwithlonghoursatpathe)cpay.Interested?

Zeeshanwasthrilled.

Zeeshan:Cha‐ching!

PenelopegotthebusinesstoLevelTenjustin)me.PregnantSimsdon’tlikerunningbusinessesmuch,sincetheyhavetothrowupandpeealot,butifthey’repermaplatandhaveaServolikeKillicktohelp,it’snottoobad.S)ll,Penelopereallywashappytoquit.OncesheearnedherGoldSalesBadge,shelostallinterestinthebusiness.

Thetwins’rivalrycon)nues.Parsifal:Itoppedmyteencareer!

Gawaine:Bigdeal,Ididminedaysago.

Apologiesforthecutawayshot.Penelopeappearstobegefng5,000Aspira)onpointsforEmptyingapoAy.Actually,it’sParsifaloffgefngascholarship.

Finally,theeventIhavebeenwai)ngforsolong—thebirthdayofthefirstGenera)onNinegirl.Withtherunofboyswe’vehad,Elainewillalmostcertainlybetheheiress,sowhatwillshebelike?

Penelope:She’sbeau)ful!ButI’msurewecandressherupabitbeAer.Oh,goodie—IfinallycanuseallthosepreAyliAlegirlclothes.

ElainelooksalotlikePenelope,asyou’llsee.She’salsoShy,likehermotherandUlysses,andlikeherfather:aSag,6/3/9/8/5.

ObviouslyPenelopefoundsomeofthosecuteliAlegirlclothesshe’dbeensavingup.

Dinadanlosesno)meinteachingherhowtowalk.

‐‐whichgivesthembothalotofaspira)onpoints.Thisishelpful,asDinadanwon’tbepermaplatforalong)meandheneedswhateverboostshecanget.

Elaine:Sigh.I’msobored.

Idon’tknowwhatshehastocomplainabout.Everyonewasthrilledwhenshewasborn.ThefamilywentnutsbuyingherpreAyclothesandredecora)nghernursery.

Elaine:SIGH.I’mlanguishinghereinmytower.NooneEVERpaysanyaAen)ontomeandI’mle,allALONE.

Neverhappens.EveryoneisfallingalloverthemselvestogiveElaineexactlywhatshewants.Daddyisconstantlycomingintoteachherhowtotalkorreadtoher.

Elaine:Sigh.Languishing.Gawaine:So,Princess,I’mtheoldest...

Elaine:Bored.

Gawaine:No,no,Princess,youdon’tgetit!PercyandPalomidesandI—andDadandMom—we’vewaitedforeverforyou.PercyandIaresworntoprotectyou.We’lldoanythingforyou.We’reyourvassals.Say“vassal.”

Elaine:Vassal.

Gawaine:Verygood!

Parsifal:IhopewhateverGawainesaidwasn’ttooshockingforyourpureliAleears,cherub.Butyou’reeverythingtous.I’veputeverythingasidetoprotectyouandmakeyouhappy.We’renothingwithoutyou.

Elaine:Bored.Lonely.Languishing.Entertainme?

Parsifal:I’m...notsogoodattheentertainmentbit.I’mmorethe“sworntodefendyoutothedeath”type.I’llgetPalomides.

PalomideswashappytocomeinasElaine’sjesterorminstrel.

ThoughI’mnotsureifthatwasashriekofdelightorashriekofterror.

Elaine:Love.Wantlove,Mr.KiAycat.Smores:Prowr.

Elaine:Wanttobeloved...

Thankyoutosomanypeople,especiallyeveryonewho’swaitedsopa)entlyforanupdate.ThankstoeveryonewhoseLegacySimsmadeanappearance:ToRubyBlue,Goldilocks and the Nine Heirs, DinadanLocksandherSimself;PurpleBunny, Pira3cal Legacy,JackBuccaneerandherSimself;DocNerd,Ve3nari Dualegacy,herSimself,againandagainandagain;Orikes,Pseudo Legacy,IanLegacina;Ben/Blite27,Ten Caesars,withoutwhomtherewouldbenoFlavius,noCassius,andnoRomans;Dicreasy,Victorian Legacy,StanleyLegacy;MichelleFobbs,Planetary Apocalypse,whosepresenceisgreatlymissed;Marina/Smoothiequeen,Villainous Apocalypse,RhysFitzhugh;Jamie/DocGirlP,Bohemian Legacy,ApolloBohemian;Peasant007,Devereaux Legacy, ZaneDevereaux;Walk‐onSimselves:WriterTina,Candi.Cover:GordonGrant,fromBoothTarkington’sPenrod.AndthankstoMarhis,whocreatedreversed‐genderPleasantview.Howmanycrossgenderedtownies

didYOUspot?