One Part Starstuff

Clitheroe: A BaRKCPrologue

“These are very narrow paths.”

“Please, Béor. Please, for once in your life, pay attention. This is important.”

“And what a life it’s been so far. All three hours of it.”

I shook my head in disgust. “I should have put a lot more thought into crafting your personality traits. ‘Snarky’ was not my intention when I created you.”

Béor rolled his eyes. “Yes, mother.”

“Béor,” I said, trying to be patient. “I am not your mother. I created you. Those are entirely different concepts.”

“So you’re saying you gave me life, crafted the very essence of who I am, but you’re not my mother?” Béor deadpanned, looking straight forward.

I rubbed the bridge of my nose with two fingers. “This really isn’t the point. Let’s get back on track, here.”

Béor glanced over at me, the fist time he’d met my gaze since I’d first told him the news an hour ago. He was only two hours old then. How time flies. “The point is, you’re leaving me alone,” he said. I was surprised by how much… hurt… was in his voice.

“Yes, see, you didn’t let me finish earlier,” I insisted. “Yes, I am leaving the garden, and I need you to stay here and protect it.”

“Yeah,” he said gloomily.

“I really won’t be that far away,” I promised quickly. “You can call me whenever you need to. It’ll be, like, nothing in human years. A blink, even. And then I’ll be back! Maybe I’ll even make some new people when I return, like I made you, so it’s not just the two of us! How does that sound, huh?”

“Hm.” Béor paused, but I could see some of that anger was beginning to fade. Maybe I’d said something right? “I still don’t understand this need of yours to leave the Ether Glades—which are perfect, by the way—and go live as a human.”

I shrugged and looked out towards the cool waters of the fountain. This was just a little hard to explain to a god who didn’t even have a full immortal day under his belt. So far? Not going well.

“Well,” I began, “I want to create life down there, on the mortal world. Sentient life. Like us, except with fewer powers and fewer brain cells. And I want them organized together under a monarch.”

“Uh-huh,” Béor interjected.

“And what better way to found a kingdom than to do it yourself?” I said happily, turning back.

“Oh, I get it!” Béor said, a gleam in his eye. I smiled in relief. Finally, he was understanding what I was saying.

He drew a breath. “You have a bad case of nepotism and want to be called ‘Your Majesty’ by a swarm of dazed underlings who can’t challenge you!” He watched me expectantly, a broad grin on his face.

“Well… yeah, that’s exactly it. Nice job; you’re smarter than I gave you credit for.”

“Hey, maybe a little bit of ‘snark’ is good in a person after all,” Béor said, still grinning. “So, protecting the garden. What is it exactly you wanted me to do about that?”

I smiled and clasped my hands in front of my face. “Oh, it’s an easy job, don’t worry. Really all you have to do is stay here while I’m gone. Housesit. That’s all I ask.”

Béor nodded. “I see. Are we expecting aliens to try and take it over or something?”

“Nah, not specifically. It’s just that this garden is directly tied to that mortal world down there. So long as it stays nice and undefiled, we don’t have to worry about invasions from across the multiverse.”

“Got it,” Béor said, nodding his understanding. A gleam came into his eye. “So… does this mean I get to redecorate a little bit while you’re gone? Put in a juice keg, maybe? Some disco lights?”

“Ahaha, you’re funny.” I set him with my strictest glare, trying to say Do it and I’ll make you live as a worm for three decades without actually saying it. He just grinned.

After I left the garden and Béor behind to protect it (still a little concerned I’ll come back and see it decked out for a disco or something), I started a walk around my little world. It’s been around for a few millenia now, so it’s had time to ripen a little bit. I’ve got mountains, trees, lakes, rivers, animals… basically everything a planet needs. Except people. But I’m here to fix that.

After a few years of humming and hawing over where I was going to settle down, I finally picked out this spot. It’s a little cold, but not overbearingly so, and really that’s the only major flaw I could see. It’s defensible, with mountains closing it in pretty nicely, and has quite the coastline.

I’ve decided to call this kingdom Clitheroe. In the end, I chose it for the rainbows. Seems like there’s always one or two or three up there at any given time. Gorgeous.

The next step was to get down to business with the whole “people” thing. Kind of the most important part, you know. I went with a pretty simple formula.

One part earth…

…and one part starstuff.

“Breathe.”

…I may have gone a little overboard. There’s a couple dozen of them running around Clitheroe now. In retrospect, maybe I should’ve limited myself to two for starters.

I organized my newborn humans and sent them on their way to begin settling themselves. None of them have built houses yet; they mostly went into the mountains and found ready-made caves. I think I even saw some groups leaving Clitheroe; I might have other kingdoms popping up on their own out there pretty soon.

Finally, once all the humans had scattered to the four winds, I settled down on my own plot of land and got started building my—

“Ahem.”

I turned around to see my fledgling apprentice, for lack of a better word, in the act of crossing his arms and smirking. I swallowed my annoyance and said, in as strict a voice I could muster, “What are you doing here, Béor?”

His smirk deepened. “Came to visit.”

“Béor… you’re supposed to be protecting the garden.”

“Hey, I just wanted to see your new digs. Don’t mind me, I’ll be heading back to the Ether Glades in just a sec,” he said, turning from me and planting his hands on his hips, taking a long, sweeping look around the empty land.

“…Béor…”

“Nice field you have here. Got a kind of rustic charm, I guess, as opposed to the endlessly fertile and, dare I mention, perfect realm of the gods that you left behind. The rainbows are nice, though.”

“Béor, I’m warning you…”

“Things seem awfully, I don’t know, advanced, don’t they? Paved roads, street signs… and I swear I saw some humans around here with 100% cotton t-shirts.”

Snap. “So I don’t feel like starting from the bottom and living with a bucket as a toilet for the next handful of mortal years. Sue me.”

“Yeah, okay, fair enough.”

“It’s my world, and I can jumpstart it if I want to! Stop judging me!”

“Come on, Keika, calm down! I agreed with you, for Pete’s sake!”

“Béor, please,” I said, taking a deep breath. “Please go back to the garden. As we speak, it’s completely unprotected. If anything even gets close to it—”

“Relax, I’m gone already. Chill out.”

“I let that boy grow up way too fast. His mind hasn’t caught up to his body.”

Now, what was I doing again…? Oh, yes. The final step. Here goes nothing.

“I, Keika, Guardian of Life, Goddess of Creation, hereby forsake my godhood. I will live and I will die as a mortal. Let me breathe now the air of the human realm.”

“…that was uncomfortable. Urgh, I feel a little sick…”

Immortal life forsaken for the time being, I turned around, meaning to go sit down in my castle and warm up a bit, work on the adjustment phase a little. Every muscle in my body ached, and I was pretty nauseous, too. Ugh.

Unfortunately, I turned around to see a field.

I’d forgotten to magic myself a house before I gave up the phenomenal cosmic powers.

“Hm…?”

“BÉOR! I KNOW THIS IS YOU! IT’S THE MIDDLE OF SUMMER! SHUT OFF THE SNOW!”

Somewhere on the fringes of my mind, I heard a voice chuckle.

End of Prologue.