Post on 03-Apr-2018
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Dutch and UK news oddities from both sides of our cod-less pond
APRIL ISSUE 2013
CADS REPORT
Non compos mentis
Beatles fan accidentally nukes Liverpool
They ruv me
yeah? yeah!h?
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Oddly Enough Anglo Dutch News
New orange mould named inhonour of Dutch royals
THE HAGUE -- In an inspired moment of Dutch royal
fervor,Scientists have nameda newly discovered species
of orange mould after King Willem-Alexander and his wife
and children.
One mould is calledpenicillium vanoranjei and one P.maximae. The other
three are named P. amaliae, P. alexiae and P. arianeae after the couplesthree young daughters. Scientists have not yet worked out whether the
new moulds will serve any useful medical purpose.
Removing large, dead ocean mammals can bea whale of a problem.
Huff Post Weird newsThe animal's immense size means it
has to be cut up into smaller chunks, and that's when the
dangers of the whale exploding are most likely.
Not only are the creatures huge and heavy, but they con-
tain all sorts of toxic gases: Methane, which is basically
farts; hydrogen sulphide, which is rotten eggs; and ammo-
nia, which smells like cat pee.
Rumours that Exploding Whale will be onthe menu for Fridays lunch are sadly false.
Cat pee, rotten eggs andfarts
Composer withdraws Song forthe King after storm of criticism
Dutch News 'Horribly pretentious' and a Enough to
make the new King move to Argentina the song, which
was to be sung at Willem-Alexanders investiture, has,like the 150,000 balloons, been royally rejected.
Composer John Ewbank, who said he has had
absolutely enough criticism saw his creation
lambasted on twitter for its trite lyrics and style, which
included a rap based on the W from Willem.
The text was written by a group of Dutch celebrities
'inspired by' text sent in by the public.
Dead whalesexploding onDutch beaches
Thar she blows
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Oddly Enough Global News
Kim Jong-il ate hippos,snakes and spiders washeddown with Bordeaux wine.
Jiroemon Kimura was born April
19, 1897, which as you all know
was the year the pencil sharp-
ener was patented. Kimura was
joined on his birthday by his 14
grandchildren, 25 great-grandchildren and 13 great-great
grandchildren.
Kimura attributes his long-life to
eating lightly he rarely finishes
a meal and drinks alcohol only in
moderation.
Which is why he recommends
that we all go to CADS lunch.
Chef Kenji Fujimoto, who fled the country in
2001, said DJong-il, who died in 2011, also
banned his family from wearing perfume or
aftershave because he hated the smell.
Oldest person in theUniverse (older than Mike
Hayes jokes) celebrates
116th Birthday
Margaret Thatcher born on Friday 13th:
Mr Fujimoto also revealed that son Kim Jong-un loves The
Beatles and dreams of looking like Hollywood muscleman Jean-ClaudeDamme. "He started buying fitness equipment and taking proteinsupplements.
Also:
She was nicknamed Thatcher the milk snatcher after getting rid of free
milk in schools.
She was the first Oxford-educated prime minister since the war to be
denied an honorary degree, the university voting against awarding one in
protest at her cuts to higher education.
She only slept four hours a night.
She once described her handbag as the only safe place in Downing Street.
Telstar by The Tornados was one of her favourite pop songs.
She got a degree in Chemistry, helping invent soft scoop ice cream.
Police officer bitten by a FLEA is paid 8,000 incompensation by cash-strapped force
The flea bite was among 900,000 worth of payouts made by just
one police force to settle claims over the last three yearsShocking figures show the flea bite was among 900,000 worth of payouts
made by one cash-strapped police force to settle claims over the last three
years.West Midlands Police was sued by 51 serving officers and 16 civilian
staff for a range of bizarre workplace injuries:
600 after being exposed to a loud noise.
7,000 for falling off a chair.
14,000 after a fall from a pushbike.
Curb your enthusiasm:WPC kelly Jones is suing a garage owner af ter she
tripped on a kerb.
Ray Egan, who retired from the force in 1993, said: If Id gone to my bosses
and said Ive been bitten by a flea...Youd get a boot up your bum andtold to get back out on the streets.
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Summer of Cricket
Holland vs South AfricaDutch XI vs South Africa ODI@VRA Cricket ground (ABN AMRO
International Cricket Centre)
Friday May 23,2013, 11am to 7pm
Cricket Netherlands (KNCB) is delighted to announce
that following negotiations withCricket South Africa(CSA) the South African Castle Lager ODI squad will betouring the Netherlands in May in preparation for the
2013 ICC Champions Trophy to be played in England
and Wales during June.
We are looking forward to having some of the
household names of world cricket on our doorstep
and will be announcing hospitality and ticketing
details shortly.
TICKETS AVAILABLEFrom Tuesday, March 5Online tickets:
http://www.kncb.nl/index.php?option=com_k2&view=ite
m&layout=item&id=2498&Itemid=512
Admission for children under 14 is free for all matches.
PRE SALE 25 AT THE GATE 30
Lets march over there after CADS lunch
http://www.kncb.nl/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&layout=item&id=2498&Itemid=512http://www.kncb.nl/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&layout=item&id=2498&Itemid=512http://www.kncb.nl/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&layout=item&id=2498&Itemid=512http://www.kncb.nl/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&layout=item&id=2498&Itemid=512http://www.kncb.nl/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&layout=item&id=2498&Itemid=512http://www.kncb.nl/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&layout=item&id=2498&Itemid=5127/28/2019 CADS Report April 2013v2
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Chairm
ans
CornerApril Issue 2013
WATERSAfter last months introduction to
Scottish whisky from WullieMacMorland, our holiday in Egypt and
organising Mike Carns reception at theAmbassadors Residence, I was looking
forward to a respite before writing theChairmans Corner this month.
It was not to be. Sue Bennions husbandrang me last week with the news that Suewas in hospital. She had not been feeling
well for a while, and needed some testsdone. This was followed early this week
by the devastating news that she has
inoperable cancer of the liverand pancreas. I know that all our thoughtsand prayers will be with both of them at
this time, and they are taking it one day ata time. For those who know Sue and Peter
personally, do send them supportive notes.Sue prefers not to receive visitors at the
hospital at the moment, and she hasnowhere to put f lowers except behind her
head! Notes and cards are her preferred
method of communications, and Peter isthere with her every day.
MIKE
LordAlmelos
Embassy
BashThere are still a couple of
places available for the 7th
May evening reception; please
let me know if you plan to
attend.
Invites will be sent to
registered guests at the end of
the month.
And of course it is St Georges
Day next week. No special
actions, although English
patriotic dress is welcomed to
celebrate our patron saint day.
TO ROB BANK.
CADS lunch with Sir Christopher Greenwood
At our lunch next Friday we will be addressed by Sir Christopher Greenwood. Judge
Greenwood is the British representative at the ICJ, and I am looking forward to hearing from
him about the organisation and what it is like to be one of the judges. Please let myself or Allan
know if you will attend.