JUNE 2011FREE
THE BEST THINGSIN LIFE ARE
138 Main Street, South Paris744-0290 • 1 800 686-7633 • www.creaserjewelers.com
.com
UNCLE ANDY’S DIGESTThe Most Unusual Digest in America
1200 Minot Ave., Auburn • 783-7126
ELECTRICAL SYSTEMS OF MAINEELECTRICAL CONTRACTORS
PARKING LOT LIGHTING REPAIR & UPGRADES
• Lighting Repairs• Energy Efficient LED & HID Upgrades• New Installation• Ask about Efficiency Maine Incentives
www.electricalsystemsofmaine.com
181 Center St.; Auburn, Maine 04210www.rmsmortgage.com •[email protected]
Residential MortgageService, Inc.
This is not a commitment to lend. Availability dependent upon approved credit and documentation level, acceptable appraisal, and market conditions. Residential Mortgage Services, Inc. is a Maine Corporation Headquartered at 24 Christopher Toppi Drive, South Portland, ME 04106. ME License No. SLM2537
Debbie Bodwell, Vice PresidentNMLS# 280336
777.1551
H Low Fixed RatesH FHA, VA, Rural Development & MSHA Loan ProgramsH Experienced & Local Mortgage ProfessionalsH Close Fast & On ScheduleH Over the Phone Approvals
FIRST TIME HOMEBUYER SPECIALIST
Take the first step to owning your own home
We also offer refinancing
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 20112
Seen on a sign a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."
Stay tuned. I could say something brilliant at any moment. – Uncle Andy
Morning Sickness
Sarah dropped in onher sister Molly andfound her sitting at thekitchen table, staringblankly at a half-emptycup of coffee, her threekids squabbling loudlyin the other room.
"What's wrong, Molly?"she asked.
Molly told her that shehad morning sickness.
Surprised, Sarah said,"Hurray! I didn't evenknow you were pregnant!"
"I'm not," the harriedmiddle-aged motherreplied.
"I'm just sick ofmornings."
786-3731Pelletier’s Karate Academy
I-35 Taylor Hill Road • Lewiston (1-1/2 miles past Marden’s)Email: [email protected] • www.pelletierskarate.com
June 15thFREE Fitness
Kickboxing Clinic7:30-8:30pm • Call to register
Check out our all new website!
www.pelletierskarate.com
June 22FREE Intro to
Karate for KidsCall to register
Summer Campsin July
Call for infoHAPPY
BIRTHDAY!
Don St. Germainturns 73 this month!
Wish the young fella ahappy birthday!!
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 3783-7039
I tried to get a life once, but they were out of stock.
Some people bond. You and I are crazy-glued!
800-561-8506Oxford/Auburn
MODERN WOODMEN OF AMERICA
JUNE 2011Saturday, June 4Crepe/Buffet Breakfast (Chapter 10589)Franco Center, Cedar St. Lewiston7:00am – 10:00am$4/Member $5/Guest
Saturday, June 4Bean Supper (Chapter 12907)Franco Center, Cedar St, Lewiston4:30pm – 6pm $5/Member $6/Guest
Wednesday, June 899 Restaurant (Chapter 8609)650 Center St, Auburn 4pm – 7pm$8/Member $9/Guest
Saturday, June 11Dairy Frost (Chapter 7938)107 Bath Road, Brunswick 4pm – 6pm Members Free $1/Guest
Sunday, June 12Kiwanis Pancake BreakfastFestival Plaza Downtown Auburn7:00am – 11:00am$3/Member $4/Guest
Tuesday, June 14Taber’s (Chapter 12749)Lakeshore Drive, Auburn 4pm – 7pm$4.50 Member $5/Guest
Wednesday, June 22Rolly’s Diner BREAKFAST(Chapter 14346)Mill St, Auburn 7:00am – 10:00am$4/Member $4.50/Guest
Tuesday, June 28Norway Soft Serve (Chapter 10929)Main St, So. Paris 5:30pm – 7:00pm$1/per person
Tuesday, June 28Danny’s on the Mall (Chapter 7938)Main St, Brunswick 4pm –6pm$1/Member $2/Guest
Wednesday, June 29Roy’s Allsteak Hamburgers(Chapter 14437)Center St. Auburn 4pm – 7pm$4.50 per Member $5.50 per Guest
Park Tickets for: Aquaboggan, ComboFun/Splash, Funtown, Splashtown, Water-Country, York Animal KingdomTICKETS ARE LIMITED – NO RETURNS &NO REFUNDS ALLOWEDPlease Note: Prices, Dates and Menu AreSubject To Change. If Additional Info IsNeeded, Please Call Our Office, Please DoNot Call Restaurants. All Activities CanOnly Be Attended At The Times Listed.*****************************Tickets need to be purchased at the Mod-ern Woodmen District Office, 184 WebsterStreet, Lewiston for all activities and canonly be picked up the week prior to the ac-tivity, Monday – Thursday 9am - 4pm andFriday 9am - Noon (excluding Holiday’s).FMI call 782-1833.
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
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JUNE 20114
Commit random acts of kindness.
My mother was a travel agent for guilt trips.
Uncle Andy’s Digestis published by the first
Friday of every month byMaine Mountain Ocean
Group, Inc. with offices at 9 Grove Street, Auburn, ME.
It is distributed free through-out Central Maine and mailed
to subscribers all over theworld. Subscriptions are
$30/year. Send a $30 checkmade out to
Uncle Andy’s Digest to: P.O. Box 3363,
Auburn, ME 04212
Uncle Andy’s
DigestMAILING ADDRESS:
PO Box 3363Auburn, ME 04212
E-MAIL:
PHONE: 207 783-7039FAX: 207 777-3898
www.UncleAndys.com
JUNE 2011
Staff
UNCLE ANDY
Freddy Lynn
JIMBO
Carl Yastrzemski
TRAVIS DOW
Roger Clemens
MAGGIE JOYCE
Ricco Petrocelli
MARTY DOW
Sandy Koufax
Affordable Dentures • Flexible Payment Plans • Credit/Debit CardsMost Dental Insurances Accepted
801 Webster Street, Lewiston
Quality Customized Denture WorkFREE CONSULTATIONS
Smile Again Dentures
Joe & Mike Adkins
Poorly fitting or broken dentures repaired on-site, usually same-day service!
Uncle Andy’s Digestis not responsible for
typographical errors that may occurin advertisements.
Black holes suck.
ON-SITE DRUG TESTING
*All reports are verified by a licensed Private Investigator
MID MAINE DRUG SCREENING & INVESTIGATIONSFull Service Drug Testing Company & Private Investigator
577-6000 • www.MMDRUGSCREENING.com
D.O.T. DrugScreening
$15$20
We also perform hair follicle drug screens, paternity tests, private investigations, tenant screenings & background checks.
Testing can be performed in the privacy of your home or office.
*Call for out-of-area pricing
Available 24-7, 365 days a yearAfter Hours
& Weekends*
Local*
Alcohol Screening$30 Includes
confirmation if necessary
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 5783-7039
I saw Elvis making crop circles.
Just say NO to one-word solutions.
SIDNKSubmitted by Jimbo
During the Air ForceAcademy's basic cadettraining, the newcadets, known asdoolies, go through aten-day encampmentoutdoors. Prior to beingserved in the chowtent, they are requiredto do pullups and thenget in line to answerquestions about theacademy. If they an-swer correctly, they areallowed to proceed in-side. If not, they aresent to the back of theline.
One doolie had beensent back a number oftimes because he did-n't reel off the answers.When the poor cadetcame up again, a sym-pathetic upperclass-man asked him, "Whatdoes the abbreviationS. I. D. N. K. standfor?"
The doolie bowed hishead and replied, "Sir, Ido not know."
"Right!" the upper-classman said. "Go onin there and get somechow!"
One of the Renais-sance's greatest artistsand thinkers, Leonardoda Vinci was born onApril 15, 1452 in Flo-rence, Italy. Besidespainting the "MonaLisa" and "The LastSupper," da Vinci alsodesigned the first parachute.
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
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JUNE 20116
Therapy is expensive. Poppin' bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
"Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty." – Mark Twain
AUBURN-LEWISTON YMCA • AUBURN (Next to the County Courthouse)
207 795 4095 • www.alymca.org
CAMP CONNOR
SUMMER DAY CAMPSJUNE 20TH - AUGUST 19TH
Y KIDS SUMMER CAMP
Grades 1-8• FREE Transportation• FREE Lunch• FREE Pre & Post Camp Care at the Y
Ages 5-8 Based at the Y• Daily Swim, Outdoor Play & Weekly
Field Trips• Hours: 6:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m.• FREE Lunch
Help send a child to camp!Give to the Y’s Annual Campaign
Donate at www.alymca.org
ARC LIFEGUARD CERTIFICATION COURSEJune 16th-19thWATERFRONT COURSE8:00 - 5:00 p.m. each dayCost: $195 members/$235 non-members
TRIPLE CROWN 5K SERIES• Y FIT FESTSAT. JUNE 11TH• EMILY’S RUNSUN. JULY 24TH
• L/A BRIDGE RUNSUN. AUG. 28THSee ad on page 86
for more details
Out & About atPedro O’Hara’s for
Cinco De Mayo
Pedro’s has a fantastic
atmosphere!
Come to Pedro’s, we’d be happy to serve
you!
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 7783-7039
I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
6/30/11
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
What is a zebra? 25 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
See store for details
AMESSPORT SHOP, Inc
84 Littlefield Road • Auburn • 782-4917(off Hotel Road & across from Merrow Road)
SHARE OUR PASSION2011
RIDE INTO SPRINGSALES EVENT
Out & About atPedro O’Hara’s for
Cinco De Mayo
BROS
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 20118
Life is nothing like the brochure.
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
IRS: Be audit you can be.
Large Salad Subs(ham, chicken, tuna)
$4.59
10˝ 1-Topping Pizza $5.45
Roadies 1-Breast ChickenDinner $3.99
Pricing Programs &System Guard Plans
Now Available...call for details!
“Delivering Comfort you Can Count On”
Toi LindsayToi graduated Summa Cum Laude from Husson Collegewith a Bachelor of Science Degree in Accounting. Allwhile raising two young children and working full timeat Northeast Bank. Traveling many nights to classeswith her mom and dad babysitting her children.
Great job, Toi! Congratulations!!
The Graduate
Send The Husband Shopping
A wife asks her husband, "Could youplease go shopping for me and buy onecarton of milk, and if they have eggs, getsix."
A short time later the husband comesback with six cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why on earth did youbuy six cartons of milk?"
He replied, "They had eggs."
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 9783-7039
Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!
Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them.
Lack of money is the root of all Evil.
Weddings, Birthdays, Corporate Functions & More
BARBEQUE & CATERING SERVICE
795-6778 or 577-5523 • www.moosesmobilekitchen.com
Let Moose’s Mobile Kitchenmake your event complete!
Parties from 1 - 200
We modify our abilities tomeet your needs!
Call us and we can create amenu just for you!
M-F 7am-6:30pmWeekends by
appointment only
A tired dog is a happy hound!Interact, run and play with other dogsReceive hands on loving care & supervisionBe more calm & well behaved at home due to less pent up energy
Lisa Poulin & Bruce Bilodeau
Your dog will...
528 Lincoln Street, Lewiston
Fishing Terminology
HOOK - (1) A curvedpiece of metal used tocatch fish. (2) A clever advertise-ment used to lure afisherman to spend hislife's savings on fishingsupplies.(3) The punch adminis-tered by said fisher-man's wife after shelearns what he spenttheir life's savings on.(Usually accompaniedby word "right" or "left.")
Fishing Terminology
LURE - An object thatdangles from the endof your fishing line andis supposed to encour-age fish to bite it. It isthe fisherman's equiva-lent of sports cards,comic books, buttons,lint, and other thingsyou collect that gener-ally have no purpose.
In 1789, the first inau-gural ball was held forPresident GeorgeWashington in NewYork City. Trivia buffs: Itwas not until 1809,however, after the In-auguration of JamesMadison at the Capitolin Washington, D.C.,that the tradition of theinaugural ball began.That night, First LadyDolly Madison hostedthe gala at Long'sHotel. Four hundredtickets sold for $4each.
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201110I wouldn't touch the metric system with a 3.048m pole!
Honk if you love peace and quiet. Out & About atPedro O’Hara’s for
Cinco De MayoI don’t mind
if the world knows my name! I’m
Beth St. Pierre!!
TOGETHER LET’S THINK GREEN AND RECYCLE!
In-stock auto & truck parts15%
OFF
One
coup
on p
er c
usto
mer
MORRIS AUTO PARTS940 Washington St. North • 784-7374 or 800-730-7374 • Mon. - Fri. 8 - 5 • Sat. 8 - 12
Don’s DBA...
RED
UC
E
RE-USE
REC
YC
LE
DON’S NO PREFERENCE TOWING CO.940 Washington St. • Auburn • 784-4619
Ask for Don or Debbie for all your towing needs
Call us if you are broken down.We now offer Roadside Assistance, such as tire changes and lockouts. We carry 60 newNAPA batteries, air compressor, and tools
to fix small problems.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 11783-7039
New Auburn Business DistrictShop Local
Jennifer KritzerOwner / Stylist
9 Third Street, Auburn
376-4822
Julie DionneStylist
Hours: Monday 10-7; Tuesday 9-5; Thursday 10-7; Friday 9-5;
Saturday 9-3 • Closed Wednesday & Sunday
Men’s Clipper Cut
$10
Women’sWash & Cut
$20
Children’s Wash,Cut & Style
$12SPECIAL SPECIAL SPECIAL
Military, Police& Fire Discounts
New Auburn Social Club7 Second Street, Auburn • 782-9039
United New AuburnAssociation
MeetingLast Tuesday
of June (June 28th)
Fathers (& Mothers!) Day
Steak Dinner SpecialSaturday, June 18th
OUTDOOR EVENT
Out & About atPedro O’Hara’s for
Cinco De MayoHola
Amigas & Amigos!
Don’t forget thelassies & lads, too!
Join the fiesta everyday at
Pedro O’Hara’s.
22 Mill St., New Auburn • 782-3150 • Open daily 9am-6pmWe ship anywhere
in the US
“If we wereany fresheryou’d haveto slap us!”
Includes: 1-1/8th lb. Lobster1 lb. Clams
LOBSTER & CLAM BAKE$15
All cooked!Always Fresh
LaRochelle’sSeafood
HAPPY FATHER’S
DAYto all the dads
out there!
1 Ear of Corn2 Red PotatoesSide of butter
(Please call one hour before pickup)
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
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JUNE 201112
New Auburn Business DistrictShop Local
120 Mill St., Auburn • 784-5779 or 1-800-439-WIPE • GoodmanWiper.com
Towels, Tissues& Dispensers
Breakroom & Food Service Skin Care Packaging
Janitorial Supplies& Can Liners
Textile & Paper Wipes
Sorbents & Safety Supplies
Chemicals & Cleaners
NEXT DAYDELIVERY
IN L/A!
When I was a child I was told anyone could become President. I'm beginning to believe it.
Mon – Sat 5 am – 2 pm Sunday 7 am – noon
87 Mill St.New Auburn753-0171
(for take-out)
• Unusual Omelettes• Crepes• Breakfast All Day• Extensive Menu
Breakfast & Lunch Specials Daily
Just good cookin’ and plenty of it!
Rolly’s Diner
“Peanut” & Judy Ellis
This is our first time here.
Rolly’s came highly recommended by friends &
relatives!
ShipwreckedSubmitted by Jimbo
One day a man decidedto retire... He bookedhimself on a Caribbeancruise and proceeded tohave the time of his life,that is, until the shipsank.
He soon found himselfon an island with noother people, no sup-plies, nothing, only ba-nanas and coconuts.After about four months,he is lying on the beachone day when the mostgorgeous woman he hasever seen rows up to theshore.
In disbelief, he asks,"Where did you comefrom? How did you gethere?"
She replies, "I rowedover from the other sideof the island where Ilanded when my cruiseship sank."
"Amazing," he notes."You were really lucky tohave a row boat washup with you."
"Oh, this thing?" ex-plains the woman. "Imade the boat out ofsome raw material Ifound on the island.
The oars were whittledfrom gum tree branches.I wove the bottom frompalm tree branches, andthe sides and sterncame from a Eucalyptustree."
"But, where did you getthe tools?"
"Oh, that was no (continued on next page)
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 13783-7039
New Auburn Business DistrictShop Local
WOW! Don’t spend $18 at thebeauty salon, get your...
Mens & Boys CUTS forAll day – Every day! Walk-ins welcome.
$12Flat Tops - Fades - Mohawks - Mens & Boys Regular Cuts
Marcel’sBarber Shop
54 Mill Street, New Auburn
783-3444OPEN: Tues-Fri 7:30am - 5:30pm;
Sat 7:30am - 2pm
85 Third St., Auburn • 753-1177 • www.varsitylettering.comScreenprinting and Embroidery
Brand New Line of Promotional Products
Mugs • Calendars • Pens • Wine Glasses • Beer Mugs, Etc.
Ask for our new catalog. Best prices anywhere!
problem," replied thewoman. "On the southside of the island, a veryunusual stratum of allu-vial rock is exposed. Ifound that if I fired it to acertain temperature inmy kiln, it melted intoductile iron I used that to make tools and usedthe tools to make the hardware."
The guy is stunned.
"Let's row over to myplace," she says. So,after a short time of row-ing, she soon docks theboat at a small wharf.As the man looks toshore, he nearly falls offthe boat. Before him is along stone walk leadingto an cabin and tree-house.
While the woman ties up the rowboat with anexpertly woven hemprope, the man can onlystare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walk intothe house, she says casually, "It's not much,but I call it home. Sitdown, please."
"Would you like a drink?"
"No! No thank you," theman blurts out, stilldazed. "I can't take an-other drop of coconutjuice."
"It's not coconut juice,"winks the woman. "Ihave a still. How wouldyou like a TropicalSpritz?"
Trying to hide his contin-ued amazement, theman accepts, and theysit down on her couch totalk.
(continued from previous page)
(continued on page 15)
HOURS: Tues. & Wed. 10am-8pmThurs. & Fri.10am-Close • Sat. 8am-Close
47 Broad Street, Auburn • 782-9044 Every Saturday “Love at first bite!”
Andy’s Baked Bean Specials…Don’t Miss Out!
HOME COOKED FOOD EVERY DAYPool • Darts
Large Screen TV
Tyler Raymond18th Birthday June 30th!
$1.00OFF
Large BakedBean Special
Beans, Coleslaw, BreadExpires 6.30.11✄
✄
Andy’s still has the best-tasting cheese
burger around!
ANDY’s Baked Beans & Tavern
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201114A fool and his money are soon partying.
How can I be overdrawn? I still have checks left.
Government policy: If it ain't broke, we'll fix it until it is.
Quality Service at an Affordable Price
250 Broad Street in New Auburn • 783-4933 • www.majorauto.netMAJOR AUTOMOTIVENEW
By Appointment OnlyWith Coupon Only
Expires 6-30-11
A/C RECHARGE
$129.95(Reg. $169.95)
Most Vehicles - With Coupon OnlyExpires 6-30-11
ALIGNMENT CHECK
Out & About atBruno's 49th
Birthday & Rites of Spring Party at Irish TwinsThe Birthday Boy!
BrunoSmith
My friends are the bestest! Jim’s AUTO SALES
www.JimsAutoSales.com
1097 Center St., Auburn • 784-54381-800-289-5467 Ask for Dave
Over 60 vehicles to choose from starting at $3,800 online at:
TWO GREAT RIDES!2007 Toyota
TacomaDouble Cab, 4WD, V6, SR5.
$17,600
2003 Chevy Impala
$7,800
SUPERSHARP! 66K
Derek Albert
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 15783-7039
I was happier than a kitten with a Q-tip.
I was more nervous than a ceiling fan storeowner with a comb-over.
Lifetime Warranty • Free EstimatesFree Pickup and Delivery
After they exchangetheir individual survivalstories, the woman an-nounces, "I'm going toslip into something morecomfortable. Would youlike to take a shower andshave? There's a razorin the bathroom cabinetupstairs."
No longer questioninganything, the man goesupstairs into the bath-room. There, in the cabi-net is a razor made froma piece of tortoise bone.Two shells honed to ahollow ground edge arefastened on to its end in-side a swivel mecha-nism.
"This woman is amaz-ing," he muses. "What'snext?" When he returns,she greets him wearingnothing but some smallflowers on tiny vines,each strategically posi-tioned, she smelledfaintly of gardenias.
She then beckons forhim to sit down next toher.
"Tell me," she beginssuggestively, slitheringcloser to him, "We'veboth been out here formany months. You musthave been lonely.There's something I'mcertain you feel likedoing right now, some-thing you've been long-ing for, right?" Shestares into his eyes.
He can't believe whathe's hearing. "Youmean..." he swallows ex-citedly as tears start toform in his eyes, "You'vebuilt a golf course?"
(continued from page 13)
Who’s ready for some
sun?
Mike Morin’s Auto Center
“A proud member of the Napa Auto Care Team.”
1122 Center St., Auburn • 753-0433
2-Wheel Alignment $65.954-Wheel Alignment $72.95
June Special
Summer is here! It’s time to start thinking
about a complete A/C performance check!
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201116Success covers a multitude of blunders.
To err is human. To forgive is against company policy.Out ’n Aboutin Bonaire
Photos submitted by Barclay’s Skindivers Paradise
Bryan & FrancineFletcher
Claire Barclay &Lorraine Poirier
Dennis Poirier & Chris Barclay
Lenin wasnʼt Leninʼsreal name. It was oneof 151 pseudonymsVladimir Ilyich Ulanovused during his life-time.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 17783-7039
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on "escape."
If at first you don't succeed, see if the loser gets anything.
Out ’n Aboutin Bonaire
Photos submitted by Barclay’s Skindivers Paradise
Joe & Linda Bolduc
Marc Robichaud
Sarah Poirier
Sometimes thinking inside thebox is pretty good,
too.
Why do people always refer to boxes
when it comes to thinking?
We’re thinking outside the box when
we say we need to vacation more!
❦ Huge Wine Selection❦ Freshly Baked Breads❦ Freshly Made Pastries & Donuts❦ Fresh Home Made Fudge❦ Large Cheese Selection❦ Wine Tasting Events
Farm Stand Now Open Fresh Produce • Jams • Jellies
Maple Syrup • Ciders ...and more
72 Lisbon Road • Lisbon, Mainewww.benoitsbakery.com
Opening Soon
&
Bakery
WineCellar
Register for our E-News for updates on events & specialsonline at www.benoitsbakery.com
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201118You have the capacity to learn a lot from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today.
Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with the software.
Morrison & Sylvester1175 Minot Ave.
Auburn, ME 04210
783-8548 • www.morrisontruck.net
PARTS • SALES • SERVICE
WE FEATURE: • Service For All Makes • Parts For All Makes
• Sales of New International Trucks• Sales Of Used Trucks Of All Makes
Out & About atPedro O’Hara’s for
Cinco De Mayo
Hey, I saw a picture of you shaking
Bob Hope’s hand.
Forget Bob Hope, this picture with you is the one people will be talking about for
years to come...
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 19783-7039 Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
It's been one of those days--all week.
Rt. 4, just past Lake Auburn
www.roysgolf.com
THE BEST HAMBURGERS AROUND!MADE WITH FRESH GRADE-A STEAK, CUT & GROUND DAILY
FeaturingT-Shirts • 50/50 Raffle • Prizes • Give-Aways Got a hot ride? Show it off at Roy’s!
Digging
Two women archeolo-gists are down in Mex-ico excavating anancient Mayan burialground looking forsome remains to takeback to their museum.Unfortunately, every-thing they run across isbadly decomposed.
One of the womensays, "We don't seemto be having much luckhere, are we?"
The other replies, "Justkeep on digging,honey, a good Mayanis hard to find!"
In 1985, Coca-Colaannounced it waschanging the secretformula for Coke andcreating a New Coke.The American public'sreaction to the changewas poor, and Coca-Cola executives an-nounced the returnof the original formulaon July 10, less thanthree months after NewCoke's introduction.
In 1884, ThomasStevens started a bicycle trip around theworld. The trip took him over two years and nine months tocomplete!
It was FriedrichFroebel who began thefirst kindergarten in1837 in Blankenburg,Germany. The firstkindergarten in a publicschool in the U.S. wasstarted in St. Louis,Missouri, in 1873.
EVERY TUESDAY5:30pm – 8:00pm 5:30pm – 8:00pm
Batting Cages
Driving Range
18-holeMini Golf
&&GOLF CENTER
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201120Is reading in the bathroom considered multi-tasking?
DR. MICHAEL METAYER, O.D.
Auburn Mall Eye Care550 Center Street, Auburn (inside the Auburn Mall)
(207) 782-5030
Eye Exams & Contact Lenses!
for the whole family
According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
KEEP COOL! GET YOUR A/C RECHARGED NOW!
$1 OFF Any CutWalk-ins welcome
Men’s, Women’s & Children’s(Reg. $10)
That Little Barber Shop
Cosmetologist Brittany Legare
9 Acadia Ave., Lewiston (off Lisbon St.)312-5478
Hours: Tues, Thurs, Fri. 9am-5pm • Wed. & Sat. 8am-noon
SAM’S BODY SHOP
886 Main St. Lewiston • 784-0015 • Open Mon. Wed. Fri. 8:00-4:00
Custom Trailer HitchesSold & InstalledTrailer Repairs
THE SHOP AUTO SERVICEAND CLASSIC CAR RESTORATION
Mike Smith, owner
304 Lisbon St., Lisbon • 353-6100www.theshopclassicrestoration.net
FOR SALEFully restored 1972 Toyota FJ Land Cruiser
CALL FOR PRICE
1 S. Main St., Suite 2, Mechanic Falls (next to Sheila’s Hair Salon)345-9161 • [email protected]
✂
Custom Machine Embroidery
WOW! Keep your dog safe!Custom-made collars with name
and phone # embroidered.Never worry again!
$19.95with coupon • expires 6/30/11 ✂
Regal 233xl for sale... New carpets, mooringcover, full head, refrigera-tor, aft cabin, cd player,dock lines, fenders,20amp service with 50foot cable, runs great andis fully winterized.
BOAT FOR SALE
$10,000 obo call 376-5003
FULL SERVICE HARLEY MOTORCYCLE SHOP
State of MaineInspection
Station
We work on Shovelheads, Sportsters &older bikes
www.v-shop.us
CALL FOR Tire Appointments, Oil Change,
Stage 1 Kits, Brakes & More
V-ROD & ROAD RODSBUILT & SERVICED
140 Riverside DriveAuburn, Maine 04210
email: [email protected]
207-782-9400
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 21783-7039 Of course I don't look busy. I did it right the first time.
The buck doesn't even slow down here.
Just when you think you've won the rat race, along come faster rats.
• Wheel alignment & balancing • Complete brake work • Engine tune-up• Lube-oil-filter • State Inspections • Exhaust systems
FAMILY OWNED & OPERATED FOR 27 YEARS
60 Minot Ave • Auburn, ME 04210782-6666 or 783-2026
CAMERON TIRE & SERVICE, INC.
A PROUD MEMBER OF THENAPA AUTO CARE TEAM
OUR TIRES
$55 Value
Buy 4 New TiresReceive Front End
Alignment
FREE
JUNE SPECIAL
MARK of EXCELLENCEAWARD WINNER EMERSON
CHEVROLET BUICK
“Thank you for 32 years in the carbusiness. I am now back at Emersonwhere I started. Stop in and say “hi”
and let me help you save somemoney and find a nice ride!”
946 Center Street • Auburn • 784-3503
RICH TREMBLAY
Out & About atPedro O’Hara’s for
Cinco De Mayo
You have tobe carefulnowadays!
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201122Can I trade this job for what's behind Door #2?
Is there life before coffee?Out ’n Aboutin Bonaire
Photos submitted by Barclay’s Skindivers Paradise
Cindy MacDonald& Wendy Gallant
Scuba Sistaʼs
If we’ve told you one,we’ve told you a million
times Uncle Andy’s is read everywhere!
Highly educatedscuba divers
DO NOT TRY THIS WITHOUTPROPER TRAINING!
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 23783-7039 You can't fire me. Slaves have to be sold.
The trouble with work is...it's so daily.
144 Riverside Dr., Auburn
Brad Johnson
Any Make, Any ModelAny Problem…
Fully Warranteed & CertifiedBrad’s Precision Auto 333-0364
NO PROBLEM!
$55/hr. LABOR RATE
Appointments Required, Please call first
QUALITY REPAIRS SINCE 1979CARS • LT. TRUCKS • SUVs – We service them all
“The 2010 AAA Approved Repair Facility of the Year!”With 100% Customer Satisfaction!!
HORSEPOWER AUTOCARE, INC.44 Roosevelt Trail, Rt. 302 • Windham • 892-9420 • 1-800-339-9420
Monday - Friday 8am-5pm • www.horsepowerautocare.com
3 Master ASETechniciansBob, Steve
& John
Selected
Out & About atPedro O’Hara’s for
Cinco De Mayo
I asked my mailmanwhy my letters were allwet.
He said "postage dew".
www.soundeffectsmaine.com Scott Feldman
Next to Republic Jewelry & parking in back of building
NOW LOCATED AT:
216 Center Street, Auburn • 777-3339
If you roll your window down and
crank your tunes and itdoesn’t sound good...
CALL ME!
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201124
Mondays are the potholes in the road of life.
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
The Back FortyOut ’n About at
Smile Again Dentures in Lewiston
Joe AdkinsLicensed Denturist
When people come to us they
usually need somethingfixed...
They always leave with a smile,
sort of like this set ofdentures here...
David McConnellstarted the CaliforniaPerfume Company(CPC) in 1886. Todaythe company is knownas Avon, which henamed after his fa-vorite playwrightWilliam Shakespeare,and Stratford on Avon.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 25783-7039
When the blind leadeth the blind, get out of their way.
Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
y June Specials
990 Center Street, Auburn • 784-1348
Out ’n About atSmile Again
Dentures in Lewiston
Jack Downey
Making dentures is an art form
within itself...
I heard Uncle Andy’s was coming today, so Idressed up just for
the occasion!
Baseball umpires wantsalary hikes. The response from theowners is, "Yikes! Can't afford increasedpay." So the union does say, "Then our recourse iscalling more strikes."
– Kirk Miller
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201126There's nothing like a little experience to upset a theory.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Our customer RewardCards are here.
We know how loyal ourcustomers are and wewant to show our appre-ciation. Now when youcome into Heidiʼs Brooklyn Deli in Auburn,just swipe your RewardCard and earn dollarsoff your future purchases!
Reward cards canalso be used as a pay-ment or gift card. Justload money onto yourcard. You can pay foryour purchase and earn rewards all in onetransaction. Now thatʼsconvenient!
Heidiʼs is located at600 Turner Street inAuburn. Call us at 784-3434. Check us out on-line atwww.heidisauburn.comCome check out ourpatio - a great place toenjoy lunch! See our adon page 36.
"Whatever you do, youneed courage. What-ever course you decideupon, there is alwayssomeone to tell youthat you are wrong.There are always diffi-culties arising thattempt you to believeyour critics are right."
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
2002 Chevy Tahoe
1298 Sabattus St. Lewistonwww.independentauto.me
Other Inventory
786-7744
$9,000
2003 Mini Cooper
Green, manual, one-owner
2001 BMW 2005 Subaru Forester 2.5XT
$8,495
$10,495 $9,995
5.3L, Spare Stock Tires, 26” Rims, TV’s
05 Pontiac Grand Prix, 89k, Silver ..................................$849505 Nissan Sentra, Auto, CD...............................................$579504 Jeep Grand Cherokee, 4.0L 4x4 ................................$749504 Hyundai Elantra GLS, 84k, Auto ................................$549503 Audi A4, Turbo, Black...................................................$649503 VW Beetle GLS, Blue, 91k, 5-Sp, 2-tone Lthr, 17" Alloys ......$649503 VW Passat, Green..........................................................$777503 Mercedes S500, Loaded, 82k..................................$18,00003 Saab 9-3 Convertible, 88K, Loaded .........................$6,99503 Dodge Neon, 86k .........................................................$499503 Infinity QX4, Auto, 4WD, V6.......................................$849503 Volvo S60, AWD, Tan ...................................................$699502 Jeep Liberty, 3.7L, Black ..............................................$549502 Nissan Xterra, Green....................................................$789502 Saab 9-5 Aero, Silver, Black Leather, Auto .............$599502 Ford F250, 73k, Auto, 4x4, ......................................$1299502 VW GTI, Silver ...............................................................$599502 VW Passat, 99K, Grey..................................................$700001 VW GTI, Green...............................................................$649501 Audi A4 1.8T, Silver ......................................................$5495
01 Audi A4 2.8L, Manual, AWD.......................................$649501 Jeep Grand Cherokee, 4x4, Blue................................$599500 VW Passat, Turbo, Black..............................................$549500 Cadillac Escalade, Pewter, Loaded, 102k .................$599599 Saab 9-3, 108k, White, Convertible..........................$499589 Chevy Corvette, 52k, Black.......................................$1050005 Pontiac Montana, Minivan, Extended, Loaded, 86k ......$749504 Pontiac Vibe GT, 6-Speed, Alloys, Loaded................$749503 Honda Element EX, Loaded, AW, Manual.................$877598-01 Audi Parts..............................................................Call FMI94 Dodge Intrepid AS IS....................................................$200083 Mercedes 380SL Roadster, 2Door, 114k, V8, Auto .$10,495
3-Series, Black, Loaded
INDEPENDENTAutoTim Bellmore
AWD, Auto, 1-Owner
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 27783-7039 He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit.
Available at:
www.maine-lyaction.com
Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape. Out ’n About atSmile Again
Dentures in Lewiston
With planning, denture corrections can often be done
in just one day.
Bea Levasseur
Unlike Jack on page 25, I had no
idea I was going to bepart of an “Out ’n
About”!
"Apply yourself bothnow and in the nextlife. Without effort,you cannot be prosper-ous. Though the landbe good, you cannothave an abundant cropwithout cultivation."
– Plato
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201128PB4WEGO.
I live so far in the country my zip is EIEIO.
www.donovansauto.com946-7515 • 1-800-811-8856
To view the complete inventory of 50 vehicles, visit our website
Out & About with the Healthy Androscoggin Work Healthy
Award Winners
Central Maine Orthopedics receives theirplaque from State Senator Margaret Craven
Erin Guay, HA & Joy Harvey, representing Androscoggin Bank
The Healthy Androscoggin Staff
Hillary Eaton of Austin Associates & Jill Brayman of CMMC;
HA Work Healthy Panelists at the Chamber. Each discussed different steps they have taken to
encourage a healthier workplace & staff.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 29783-7039 Welcome to Wisconsin. Smell our Dairy Air.
Uncle Andy always gives 100% at work: 12% Mon. 23% Tues. 40% Wed. 20% Thurs. 5% Fri.
2003 Ford F250 SuperdutyReg. Cab, 4X4, V10, 84k
Racing Go CartRacetrack Approved, New Motor
1994 Chevy Rack Body2WD, 6.5 Diesel, 87K
$10,500 $8,500$900
www.MandPautosales.com
2007 Chevy Equinox90K, AWD, Loaded, Leather
2006 Dodge Caravan40K, Runs Good
1997 Ford F150Reg. Cab, 4X4, 114K
$11,500 $5,500$7,995
M & P AUTO SALESRoosevelt Trail, North Windham • Call Scott Rioux at 892-0932 or 754-4867
UP TO 45 MPH
Kelsie-Mae RiouxGraduates June 10th from Brunswick HighSchool with high honors while maintaining2 jobs as a CNA at Brentwood Rehabilita-tion and Sunnybrook Village. She is college-bound in the fall and will attendSouthern Maine Community College. She
will major in behavioral health.
Proud parents are Scott and Lori Rioux
2000 Chevy 6500 Car Carrier,6-Speed, Diesel . . . .$17,995
1994 Chevy 3500 Rack Body, No Dump, Diesel . . . .$8,500
1998 Chevy 1.2 Ton, 4WD,Short Box, 120K, 7½' MinuteMount Plow, Black. 4 BrandNew Studded Tires . . .$4,500
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201130
Jimbo to Uncle Andy: It's time to pull over and change the air in your head.
Aliens have examined my internal organs. – Uncle Andy
I want it all and I want it delivered.
SHEILA’SHAIR SALON
Hours: Tues. - Fri. 9am-7pm • Sat. 9-25 South Main Street, Mechanic Falls
NicoleSheilaAngela
Customer Appreciation DayTues. July 5th and Thurs. July 7th ONLY!
50% OFFALL CUTS
Make your appointment now!
PRODUCTSBuy one get
50% Off anotherEVERYTHING
in the Salon!July 5th & July 7th We appreciate
your business!
MenReg. $14
Now $7
WomenReg. $27
Now $1350
ChildrenReg. $10
Now $5(spray cut only)
345-3819
Out ’n About atSmile Again
Dentures in Lewiston
We do full dentures, rebases, relines & repairs.
Lori Stuart
John Bonneau
I may not be sitting on
the dock of the bay, but I’m standing on my newly installed dock.
Thanks, guys!
Our pleasure!
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 31783-7039
It's not easy being right all the time.
Sarcasm is just one service we offer.
Saturday, June 25thFun filled activities for the whole family!
Pottle Hill Road Race
Arts & Craft Vendors
The Horribles Parade
Antique Car Show
Fair Food & Games
Library Book Sale
Chicken BBQ
Touch-A-Truck
One-Pitch Softball
And much, much more!
Horribles & Non-Mechanized Vehicles Parade
Saturday @ 11:30 AM
Pleasant Street to American Legion
Downtown Mechanic FallsFor more info: Call 345-2871
or find Mechanic Falls Community Day on Facebook
PRIZESAWARDED
There is the Law of Gravityand then, thereis the Law of Parenthood
1) A child's behaviorwill improve in propor-tion to the distance he or she is away fromthe parent.
2) Two is equal to two,except when referringto time. Two minutes oftantrum lasts 20 timesas long as two minutesof quiet time.
3) The choice of apreschooler's bestfriend corresponds directly to the distancethe friend lives fromyour house.
4) A child's enjoymentof a popular entertain-ment will be inverselyproportionate to theparent's enjoyment.
5) The chance of a surprise visit by yourparents-in-law is di-rectly proportional tothe size of the mess inyour home.
6) A child will alwayseat exactly what shehas loved for the pastyear unless it is theonly food in the fridge.
7) The ease with whicha toddler acquires theability to say a word increases with its likeli-hood to embarrass asailor.
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201132
Don't let your mind wander. It's too small to be out by itself.
Vegetarian: Indian word for "lousy hunter."
Rates as low as 2.75%*Stop by and apply today!
Great FallsFederal Credit Union
34 Bates Street, Lewiston • 782-7192760 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 753-0500
www.greatfallsfcu.com*Member eligibility required, qualifications & restrictions may apply, no in-house refinancing, annual percentage rate.**Most cases.
INSTANT APPROVALS!**
Hire a teenager while they still know it all.
Out ’n About atSmile Again
Dentures in Lewiston
We use quality materials to provide
durability and long-lasting wear.
Jeff Blackburn
Craig Cook
I’m wearing this mask to block
Jimbo’s bad breath...
A chemist walks into apharmacy and says,"Do you have anyacetylsalicylic acid?"The pharmacist asks,"You mean aspirin?""That's it, I can neverremember the word."
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 33783-7039
Heck is where people go who don't believe in Gosh.
Meandering to a different drummer.
272 South Main St. Auburn • www.deepseacreations.com • 1-888-782-4372 • 782-4372
Marine Fish • Coral • SuppliesMarine Fish • Coral • Supplies
Tropica l HarmonyAll your salt water tank
needs right here!
Get your snacks &ice cold beer herebefore hitting thearea golf courses!
"Helping the environmentone job at a time"
Call us for a free quote to clean your business
K+L GREEN CLEAN, INC577-8725
Look for this K+L decal at local businesses in L-ACheck us out online at:
KandLGreenClean.comWe get you
clean and stay green!
Check us out online at:
KandLGreenClean.com
Lauren & Kristie, owners
740 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 783-2981Hours: Mon-Sun 5am-9pm • www.mygeorgios.com
THINGS ARE HEATING UP AT GEORGIO’S!
Signs of SummerMilkshakes are back
Pasta SaladPolar Shock
Outside Seating
Home ofthe U.F.O.
Out ’n About atSmile Again
Dentures in Lewiston
No one told me thatUncle Andy’s was doing
an exposé on us...
Jen Paré
Joe AdkinsLicensed Denturist
Who has two thumbs up and lovesUncle Andy’s Digest?
This guy!
Fishing Terminology
TACKLE - What yourlast catch did to youright after you broughthim into the boat andright before he jumpedback overboard.
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201134
I plead contemporary insanity.
Cancer cures smoking.
Shane Lacasse, Deanna Groves & Peter Michalak
15 Pierce Street, Auburn
WE PAY YOU!Maine’s Most Trusted Recycler
Automobile Batteries ...................................................$9*Alloy Rims ...........................................................$16 each*Catalytic Converters ...............................from $8 to $260*Starters/Alternators...........................................$4 each*Computer Green Board Scraps .........................$1.80/lb.*
Copper, Brass, Aluminum, Insulated Wire, Electric Motors, Radiators, Transmissions*Prices subject to change to market conditions
NEW LOCATION!Across from Maine Oxy. Two driveways down
from Doggz Inn in Auburn.
615-7057795-8887
Out & About atPedro O’Hara’s for
Cinco De Mayo
Pedro’s is a great place to enjoy a mealwith your kids, too!
Fishing Terminology
ROD - An attractively-painted length of fiber-glass that keeps anangler from ever get-ting too close to a fish.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 35783-7039
Do not follow, for I may not lead. Do not lead, for I may not follow. Just go over there somewhere, please?
I live in California, and my watch is three hours fast, I can't fix it,
so I'm moving to New York.
Upcoming EventsFri. June 3rd
PORCH PARTYFireworks, BBQ, $1 Drafts,
Live Music from the New L-A Harley Band
Sat. June 4thANNUAL DYNO-SHOOTOUT Cash Prizes & Trophies
Sat. June 11thDOGS FROM AROUND THE WORLD
Sample unique hot dog creations.
Live music by The Veggies
Sat. June 18th VERTICAL OUTLAWS STUNT SHOW
$1 Drafts & Food Specials
Sat. June 25thBLESSING OF THE BIKESin Coburn, NH
Sat. July 2nd: FAMILY DAY Bounce House, Clowns & Face Painting
Upcoming Events
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201136
Allow me to introduce myselves.
A PBS mind in an MTV world.
CHECK OUT www.secondchanceboxer.com
9 South Main Street Mechanic Falls, ME • (207) 345-8711 • 1-800-339-0414
AUTOS • HOMEOWNERS
MOTORCYCLES • BUSINESS
THE CUMMINGS AGENCY, INC. INSURANCE
Jeffrey R. Cummings • Nora W. Cummings
Nes
sie
Port
er
Boo
Dog gonnit…
We want your business!
Complete Auto & Truck Repair• Front End Alignments• Engine Diagnostics• Custom Exhaust• Tires, Batteries
10% OFFwith this ad
Ron Moon,Manager
35 Lewiston Rd. • Gray, ME 04039
• Transmission Flush• State Inspections• Complete Front End Work• Tune-ups
207-657-5000
HOURS: Mon.-Sat. 7am-9pm; Sun. 10am-8pm
June Special
$1 OFFCajun Turkey
with avocado*
600 Turner Street, Auburn
784-3434www.heidisauburn.com
includes choice of potato salad, cole slaw or chips & a pickle
*full size sandwich
LOCALLY OWNED AND OPERATED
Dine on our outdoor patioBeer & Wine available
Breakfast served all day!
Ask about our new REWARDS CARD!
Out & About atPedro O’Hara’s for
Cinco De Mayo
El Broad Street Band with Maria y José
Things Not ToSay On A Date
Could you excuse me?My cat gets lonely if hedoesn't hear my voiceon the answering ma-chine every hour.
THURSDAYSLine Dancing Lessons 6pmKaraoke 8pmBeer Pong Sign-ups 9pmAction packed Thursdayswith DJ B-Set at 9:30pm
FRIDAYSLADIES NightDrink SpecialsDJ & Live Local Entertainment
SATURDAYSDJ & your favorites in Tribute Bands, Comedy Acts & More!
ENTERTAINMENT LINE-UP
FRIDAYS &
SATURDAYS
ALWAYS A DJ
IN THE PUB !
Sat. June 4th Dead Season CD Release PartyAll ages, Doors open @ 8pm, Tickets on sale at Bullmoose
Sat. June 18th Dogpile - Classic Rock
Fri. June 24th Never Trust & Guests - Hard Rock
Sat. June 25th Hip Hop Show, featuring Sandbag & guests
Sat. July 2nd Firewater Creek
150 Center St. Auburn • 784-7785 • ClubTexas.info
Don’t miss the
CD Release Party June 4th for
Dead Season’s “The Negative NUMBers”
THE
ENTERTAINMENT
CAPITAL OF
CENTRAL
MAINE !
If you can read this, thank a teacher.
That was Zen. This is Tao.
Mike AdkinsLicensed Denturist
Jimbo, I used to kick your butt all over the racquetballcourt... keep taking
pictures and you’ll see a new form of butt kicking!
Watch and learn people...
Out ’n About atSmile Again
Dentures in Lewiston
"For myself, losing isnot coming second. It'sgetting out of the waterknowing you couldhave done better. Formyself, I have wonevery race I've beenin."
– Ian Thorpe
Bureaucrats cut red tape, lengthwise.
Irish Twins Pub743 Main St., Lewiston • 376-3088 (across from Marden’s)
Hours: Tues.& Wed. 3pm-close • Thurs. & Fri. 11am-close • Sat. 4pm-close
DON’T FORGET... Live Entertainment Every Wednesday thru Saturday
Bike Night 2011Every Wednesday Night • Starts at 6:00pm
$1.50 Drafts • 1/2 price appetizersLive Entertainment & much more!
Every Wednesday - Come check it out!
Friday, June 25th - BEACH PARTYParty starts at 7pm • RAIN OR SHINE Under the tents
Live Music from the Chad Porter Trio
Out ’n About at the Village Innin Auburn
Bobbi Birney, Lori Powell (Mom), Amanda Clapsaddle & Eric Donnell
I love this place!
Great service!
Greatdrinks!!
Greatfood!
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 39783-7039 A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
Any philosophy that can fit into a nutshell belongs there.
A synonym is a word you use in place of one you can't spell.
Every Saturday at the Lisbon V.F.W.Mouth-watering food, cash bar, door prizes & giveaways
Listen and dance to your favorite hits of the 50s & 60s
Lisbon V.F.W. • 52 Lisbon Rd. in Lisbon
FMI call 689-3591 or 353-5291
email: [email protected]
6pm-11pmOur Sock Hop!House of Lady Debra Presents...
Stump Dr. Love!!Live D.J. ~ Music starts at 7pm
Lunch & DinnerOpen 7 Days a Week
134 Main Street, Lewiston783-6200
Also visit our Brunswick location at One Center St., Brunswick
PEDRO O’ Hara’sIrish • Mexican • American
786-686125 Mary St., Lewiston
Sign up for Summer Drum Lessons!Mention this ad and your
first drum lesson is FREE**with your first month of lessons
Dick Demers
• Guitar • Piano • Bass• Voice • Banjo • Mandolin• Violin • Music theory • Brass & Woodwinds
We also sell and service all types of instruments 134 Main StreetAuburn
Camp of Rock Scholarship*
376-3376
Authorized
Service Center
✭ ✭*Camp is Aug. 8th-19th, directed by Brian Gagnon✭ Apply Today!
www.mainstreetmusiclessons.com
Main St. Music Lessons& Instrument Repair
✭
We are sponsoring
In 1999, 70,000teenagers gathered to-gether in the Silver-dome at Pontiac,Michigan, to sign theAcquire the FireTeenage Bill of Rights.These rights include: 1. We will live withhonor. 2. We willbe honest and tell thetruth. 3. We will takeresponsibility for ouractions. Share this witha special teenager inyour life.
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201140Someday we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
Procrastinate now.Out ’n About onRED DAY at the
Root Cellar
Chris PopeThe Root Cellar
Thank you to everyone at
Keller Williams Mid MaineRealty who came out
to help us on Red Day.
Greg DeCristofaroKW Team Leader
I've always said there's no I inteam... but there is
in my last name! But seriously,
find out what Red Day is by reading
page 41.
I've decided today isthe day I stop procras-tinating. If not todaythen tomorrow, nextweek at the very latest.
– Uncle Andy
The only cage-free facility offering 6,000 sq. ft.of comfortable inside play area in addition to
20,000 sq. ft. of outside play area!
June 25th, 9am - 5pmBBQ at 11am • Drawings & Giveaways for
Daycare and Grooming Services!!
• Blue Buffalo• K-9 Advantix• Lupine• Christine’s K-9 Treats• Planet Dog...and many more!
[email protected]/thedoggzinn
http://thedoggzinn.googlepages.com
Est. 2008
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 41783-7039
Be Alert! The world needs more lerts.
Yawn: an honest opinion openly expressed.
Out ’n About onRED DAY at the
Root CellarWe believe
in putting people first at Keller Williams, whether we're helping
out in the community orworking with a client, we always put their wishes and needs before our own.
Laurie DanforthKW Realtor
Hey Robin, how would you
sum up Red Day in three words?
RENEW,ENERGIZE,DONATE.
Meagan & Robin
Red Day (Renew, Energize and Donate) is recognized nationwideby Keller Williams Associates and it is a day that we step out into thecommunity to do volunteer work for a local organization. Last year we(Keller Williams Mid Maine) painted the insides of three Habitat For Hu-manity houses. This year we picked The Root Cellar and we cleaned theplace up with yard work, trash pick up, sorted tons of donated bags ofclothing, painted two chalkboard walls and prepared food for a bar-beque for the entire neighborhood.
Agents, friends & family of Keller Williams Mid Maine Realty came outto help at The Root Cellar in Lewiston for Keller Williams Annual RedDay Event, which encourages it's associates to "Give where you live"
Residential/Commercial • Camp openings • Garages • RewiringStreet lighting • New construction • Renovations • Generators
Outdoor services • Meter upgrades
Jason DesmaraisMaster Electrician
740-2888Licensed & Insured
www.LuiggisPizzeria.comSince 1953
MONDAYThe Fergy
sm. $2.50/lg. $5.00
TUESDAYMeatball Subs
sm. $3.20/lg. $6.00
WEDNESDAYSpaghetti Dinners
1 meatball, salad,
garlic bread, drink $4.50
THURSDAYMini Pizza
1 Top $2.60/2 Top $3.30
FRIDAY$1.00 OFF
Any Large Pizza
SATURDAY2 Ham or Salami
Italianswith 1.5 Liter Drink $5.99
EVERY DAY: Regular Pizza with Drink $4.99
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201142Myth: a female moth.
Mosquito: an insect that makes you like flies better.
Knights of ColumbusMORE GAMES • MORE PRIZES • MORE WINNERS
150 East Ave., Lewiston • 782-9265
EVERY
WEDNESDAY
6:30PM
DOORS
OPEN AT
3:00PM
Up to 48 Cards for $10Sealed Tickets • W.T.A. • 50/50 Prizes
Canteen • New Friendly Staff
Christine Emily
studio for hair, nails & massage20 Coburn Street, Auburn • 782-9009
(Off Center St., across from D’Angelos)Open Monday-Saturday
• Cuts & Styles• Colors• Highlights
Micaela
www.panachehairandnailstudio.com
Look your best at the beach!Daniel Michelle Jen Cindy Elizabeth Lynn
• Extensions• Perms• Formaldahyde-free
Hair Relaxing• Wedding & Prom Styles• Manicures & Pedicures
• Shellac Nails• Acrylic Nails• Facial & Body Waxing• Massage Services• Make-up ApplicationComing soon... Facials!
Our Services:
Logical Math
A mathematics professor poses the following problem to one of his classes: “A wealthy man dies and leaves 10 million dollars. One-fifth is to go to hisdaughter, one-fifth to his son, one-sixth to his brother, and the rest to his wife. Now, what does each get?”
After a very long silence, a student raises his hand and replies, “A lawyer?”
John was furious when his steakarrived too rare.
"Waiter," he shouted, "Didn't youhear me say 'well done'?"
"I can't thank you enough, sir,"replied the waiter. "I hardly everget a compliment."
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201144
Innuendo: Italian suppository.
Quantum mechanics: the dreams stuff is made of.
120 Center Street, Auburn
784-9900www.AuburnGoinPostal.com
We can ship anything... Anywhere!(well, almost anything)
• UPS, FedEx & DHL shipping• Packaging Services• eBay• Mailboxes and more!
PAYROLLMANAGEMENT, INC.
We want to be the easiestpart of your week!
783-6880 or 800-734-6880 • www.payrollmgt.com
Your local option for outsourcing your payroll...Payroll Management has been serving the payroll needs for small and midsize companies since 1989.
100 Manley Road, Auburn
Out & About with the Healthy Androscoggin
Work Healthy Award Winners
Hillary Eaton receives the Work Healthy plaque onbehalf of Austin Associates
Jill Brayman, CMMC; Kate Callahan, HA& State Senator Craven
Brian Dubois of The Y in Auburn & Kate Callahan, HA
Rose Pelletier of Rose's Cleaning & Kate Callahan, HA
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 45783-7039
There's no place like http://www.home.com
Hermits unite!
481 Maine St. • Poland Spring, MaineJoseph Cimino • Roger [email protected]
207-998-2806207-576-9535207-576-1553
SUMMER SPECIAL
Child’s Heating Service345-3083
www.childsheatingserviceinc.com
Tune-Up Time Clean your furnace at affordable rates!
$120*
Labor & parts included*most units
Oil • Gas • Solid FuelNew homes • Replacement equipment & repairs
Avoid costly repairs with our tune-ups!Multi-unit Discounts • FREE Estimates
24 hour emergency service • Call 615-6391
10th year in
business!
Expert Custom Framing!Quality Personal Service!!
Along with the best selection offrames and mats for prints, pictures
or keepsakes.
23 Cross Street, Auburn • 786-4333www.DandRFraming.com Dan Williams, owner
Framing Made SimpleMetal Frame(silver, black
or gold)
Regular Glass
Foam CoreBacking
8x10 .............................$1016x20 ...........................$2020x24 ...........................$3024x36 ...........................$40
Affordable, everyday pricing,
just for you!
Out ’n About at KC Bingo
at the Knights ofColumbus in
Lewiston
It’s true, we take our BINGO
pretty seriously. You’relooking at our game
faces right now!
B-I-N-G-O is not my name-o. But
I sure do enjoy winningthe cash prizes!
This game takes total focus.
I can’t even stop to look at the camera...
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
96 Sabattus Road, Sabattus 375-7100
We buy and sell gently usedchildren’s items!
Clothing, toys, furnitureand everything in between!
Newborn thru Kids sizes
$5 OFFYour $25 purchase!
Must present coupon or mention ad • Expires 6/30/11
Kids Love Our ClothesMoms Love Our Prices
Frequent Shoppers Program enables you to save
even more SHOP MORE $AVE MORE!
Ask us how!!
I used to contain myself, but I escaped.
I used to smoke. Now I just smolder.
Out ’n About onRED DAY at the
Root CellarI thoroughly
enjoyed Red Day, and to give where I live,
really made this a fulfilling experience. I encourageothers to do the same,
it’s good for your soul.
Jan JacquesKW Realtor
I'm not in the witness
protection program, I just prefer volunteering anonymously, by the waythis picture isn't going to be seen by anyone
is it?
AnonymouslySpeaking
Lately the bank hasbeen charging memaintenance fees. So Iwent to the bank andasked them, “Why, haveyou been coming overto do my housework?”
Submitted anonymously
(front) Willy Kannegieser(back) Kristin Kannegieser, Donna
Giroux & Marc Kannegieser
Some say my 6 handicap is impressive.
It’s not as impressive as thefood here!
Out ʻʼn About at Jasmineʼs Cafe
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 47783-7039
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
If something goes without saying, let it!
Genealogy: Chasing your own tale.
20 Maple Street • Mechanic Falls345-3765 • Open 7 days 9am-5pm
Richard Conway, owner
10% MOREEarn
with any amount of bottles with this coupon!
Expires 6/30/11
Mechanic Falls Redemption
We’re across from the car wash,
just down from Future Foods. Anddefinitely worth
the trip!
5 Pigeon Hill Road �Route 26 and 11�, Mechanic Falls • 998-5577Egg-ceptional Restaurant & Bakery
�Home of the Double Yolker�Breakfast served all day
Superb service • Handicap accessibleComfortable family atmosphere
DAILY SPECIALS FOR BREAKFAST & LUNCHMon-Fri 7am to 2pm
Sat & Sun 6am to 2pm
Finish a full-sizeomelette and have
your picture put onour wall of fame!
Normand Bisson of Lewiston
Wall of Fame InducteeIt’s an
honor to havemade it on the wall of
fame!
Maine Blues Festival 2011
For the sixth consecutiveyear the Maine Blues Festivalis scheduled for Father's Dayweekend, June 17-19 inNaples. The Festival hasgrown into one of the area'smost anticipated events of thesummer. Over 40 Maine basedblues acts will perform at 10venues in Naples. Well knownarea acts including Pam Baker,Mark Miller, Denny Breau,Blue Steel Express, the Practi-cal Cats, Pat Pepin, BrooksideBlues Band, The ColwellBrothers, Delta Knights, EricGreen Party, Matt & the Barn-burners, Zach PomerleauBand, and Jimmy & the Soul-cats will appear. A host ofother bands, duos and soloartists will be performing elec-tric, acoustic, Chicago, Delta,Cajun and other styles ofblues music.
Friday, June 17 will kick offthe event at several non-ticketvenues in the Naples area.Saturday tickets are $12 in ad-vance and $15 day of show forentrance to all 10 venuesthroughout Naples, with con-tinuous music from noonuntil after midnight. Sundaywill feature finale perform-ances and all-star jamsthroughout the afternoon.
Advance tickets, entertainment schedule andlodging info is available at mainebluesfestival.comand all Bull Moose locations. Kiosks will be set up allaround Naples for day of showtickets and festival programs.
The Brookside BluesBand will kick off the FestivalFriday June 17 at Rick’s Caféin Naples beginning at 9:00.They will be joined by formermembers of The Blend for anevening of classic and originalblues, with no cover charge.
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201148
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.
Out ’n About onRED DAY at the
Root CellarI'm so proud
of both my daughtersfor coming out to
help us on Red Day.
Robin, Heidi Gallop, KW Agent & Meagan
Tammy BellefleurKW Realtor
Helping out always puts a smile
on my face!
Odd PhrasesWhere did they come
from?
The phrase "sleeptight" originated whenmattresses were setupon ropes woventhrough the bed frame.To remedy saggingropes, one would use abed key to tighten therope.
www.jasminecafemaine.com
Bento Lunch BoxIncludes your choice of Jasmine Rice, MisoSoup or Glass Noodle Soup, House Salad,
2 pc. Sushi Roll, 2 pc. Appetizer & Side of Noodle of the Day
Starting at $6.95
Japanese • Korean • Thai • SushiWe Deliver!
730 Center Street, AuburnAuburn Plaza, next to Flagship Cinema
376-4855
Note Worthy
Joe's wife likes tosing. She decided tojoin the church choir.From time to time shewould practice whileshe was in thekitchen preparing din-ner. Whenever shewould start in on asong, Joe would headoutside to the porch.
His wife, with hurtfeelings, said,"What's the matter,Joe? Don't you likemy singing?"
Joe replied, "Honey, Ilove your singing, butI just want to makesure the neighborsknow I'm not beatingyou."
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 49783-7039
Every time I think I've hit bottom, someone lends me a shovel.
A nest is not empty until all their stuff is out of the attic.
Out ’n About at Jasmine’s Cafefor their Grand
Opening
Anthony Collins &Richard Conway
Jasmine’s sushi is unbelievable!
I’m here so much, theyknow me by name!
Julia Gavin &Dave Bisson
Their Japanese food is king. It’s evenbetter than my King
Cobra driver golf club.
Betty & Derek Laliberte
The Crystal clear choice for me is their
Thai food!
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201150Adults are just kids who owe money.
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
YTH2042 Yard Tractor
Price...$1599
Price...$399Price...$1699
KayleighLevesque
Six month old KayleighLevesque of Buckfield willbe competing for the title ofL/A's Little Miss Independence at theAuburn Mall on June 25th.Kayleigh will compete inthree areas of competitionincluding beauty, photo-genic and patrioticwear. The pageant is opento young ladies from 6months to 11 yearsold. Kayleigh will be com-peting for the opportunityto represent the L/A areaat the National Finals inPortland as well as a hostof other awards.
Kayleigh is the daughter ofJoseph and SamanthaLevesque of Buckfield. Herproud grandparents areVicki and David Dean alsoof Buckfield. For more in-formation stop by theAuburn Mall on CenterStreet in Auburn.
Local Tot To Compete In Little
Miss Pageant
You may say I amcrazy, but I am
really a fruit loop in a world full of
cheerios.– Uncle Andy
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201152I have a photographic memory, but the lens cap is glued on.
Uncle Andy wants to know: Why do two pound bags of uncooked popcorn cost about two bucks in the grocerystore while a handful of popcorn costs seven bucks at the movie theater?
Month of June
Taylor Brook Mall14 Millett Drive, Auburn
782-3457www.annsflower.com
Ann’s Flowers
PromsRecitalsGraduationFather�s Day
"Look, I don't want towax philosophic, but Iwill say that if you'realive you've got to flapyour arms and legs,you've got to jumparound a lot, for life isthe very opposite ofdeath, and thereforeyou must at the veryleast think noisy andcolorfully, or you're notalive."
– Mel Brooks
Out & About with the Healthy Androscoggin Work Healthy Award Winners
Kate present Chip Morrison theplaque for The Androscoggin
Chamber of Commerce
Matt Cote from Kaplan UniversityLewiston Campus accepts award
from Senator Margaret Craven
Kate Callahan, HA; Auburn Mayor,Dick Gleason & Erin Guay, HA
The Schooner Estates group receives their Work Healthy Award
from Senator Margaret Craven
At a dinner party in the home offriends, our host mentioned hishigh-school alma mater. One ofthe guests asked him if he hadbeen a student there at the sametime as a particular vice principal.
"I sure was!" answered the host."He was the biggest jerk I've evermet. Did you know him too?"
"Well, not then," replied the guest."But my mother married him lastSaturday."
Rt. 100 • New GloucesterHours: Mon-Fri 8am-10pm • Sat-Sun 7am - 10pm 926-3434 Breakfast Served Daily until 11am
Call ahead for takeout or enjoy a meal in our full service dining room!!
The Little Place with the Great Taste
Just$11.99Bucket of spaghetti with
4 meatballs & loaf of garlic bread
Spaghetti Special!
Check us out online at www.mariositalianmaine.com
Home of theGluten-free Crust
Try our Boston-style Sausage Sub this month!
Breakfastserved dailyuntil 11am
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 53783-7039
You're getting older when the rocking chair feels like a roller coaster used to.
The face is familiar but I can't quite remember my name.
It's not the pace of life that bothers me; it's the sudden stop at the end.
120 CENTER STREET PLAZA • AUBURN • 786-0715 • www.gippers.com
VOTED #1 Casual Restaurant & Best Burgers in L/A area
HOURS: Sun–Thurs 11:00am – 11:00pm • Fri & Sat 11:00am – Midnight
Open Father’s Day!Specials & Full Menu Available
ntn trivia
MLB Baseball PackageWatch your favorite team in HD
Cancer Survivors Invitedto Unite at Relay For Lifeof Androscoggin County
The American Cancer So-ciety invites all local cancersurvivors to attend the RelayFor Life of AndroscogginCounty on June 11 at EdwardLittle High School track tocelebrate life and the hope ofa cancer-free future. Relaywill kick-off with the openingceremony and Survivor/Care-giver Lap at 12:15 pm.
Relay For Life is the Soci-ety’s signature activity bring-ing together members of thecommunity to celebrate thosewho have defeated cancer,remember loved ones lost,and to fight back against thedisease. Relay is a teamevent and takes place at Ed-ward Little High School track,and teams of participantspledge to have one memberwalking around the track forthe duration of the event.
During the Relay, cancersurvivors are honored and in-vited to participate in a spe-cial “Survivor’s Lap,” to openthe Relay, unified in victoryand hope, while the rest ofthe event’s participants sur-round the track to cheer themon. The Society believes acancer survivor is one whodefines themselves as suchfrom the time of diagnosisthrough the balance of life.
There will be manyfundraising activities and funactivities throughout the 18-hour event to raise money tosupport cancer survivors andto fight back with funding forresearch.
This year in Maine, 18Relay events are planned incommunities across the stateduring May and June. Formore information, or to find aRelay event near you, pleasecall 1-800-227-2345 or visitrelayforlife.org.
Poland Regional HSKnights Baseball sends out a big...
THANK YOU!To all of our sponsors who made our golf tournament a huge success...
Michigan VeneerDad’s PlaceRepublic JewelryG.A. DowningK&K ExcavationBryant Energy
Cooper PavingElectro Static TechnologyDead RiverDunkin’ Donuts of Auburn & Oxford
Minot Country Store
Wight’s Sporting GoodsShirley KingSign Shack of MaineUncle Andy’s Digest
(prime sponsor)
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201154
Forget health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
Uncle Andyʼs Law: You will always find something in the last place you look.
Lauren Cronin
Tom & Susan Stacey
I’ve been around marketing for a long
time and Jasmine’s doesa great job. With theirad in Uncle Andy’s andtheir great website byT.H. Creation they’ll bearound for a long time!
Angie & Earl St. Hilaire
Out ’n About at Jasmine’s Cafefor their Grand
Opening
Jimbo is not afraid tosay that Uncle Andy isin fact, the one who letthe dogs out.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 55783-7039
60-year-old, one owner, needs parts...make offer.
Life not only begins at 40, it begins to show.
97 Ash St., Lewiston • 783-0668
Live Entertainment WeekendsFri. June 3 Matt & the BarnburnersSat. June 4 TBAFri. June 10 SköshSat. June 11 TBAFri. June 17 Veggies by DaySat. June 18 Beyond the FallFri. June 24 TBASat. June 25 Black Cat RoadFri. July 1 Veggies by DaySat. July 2 TBA
Free WiFi
Open JamThursdays
Back l to r: Shannon Lord, Mel Cote, HannahGreene. Front: Ashley Farrell, Darcy Ames
336 Center St. • Auburn • 777-1611
Shellac Manicure & Spa Pedicure Combo . . . . . .$60Full Head of Foils . . . . . . . . . . .$75Eyelash & Brow Tint . . . . . . . .$25
June Specials
— Now hiring full & part time Stylists —
Out ’n About at KC Bingo
at the Knights ofColumbus in
Lewiston
BINGO!BINGO!!I win!!!
Join us on Wednesdays. Take a
look at the KC Bingo adon page 42 for more
info!
84 Court St, Auburn 333-3041 www.hollysown.com
Deli DownstairsDining Room Upstairs
Hol ly Mi reau l t , Owner
The patio isnow open!
Need Catering?Graduations • Weddings • Birthdays • Father’s Day Try Nick’s
4 Soups Served DailyWe do it all!
Hours: Mon.-Fri. 8:00-4pm • Sat. 11am - 4pm
Serving smoked meats for lunch
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201156
I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
Goodbye tension. Hello pension.
27 MILLETT DRIVE, AUBURN
784-1577
Taylor Brook DentalOur dentists serve patients in
Auburn, Lewiston, Poland, Minot,and surrounding towns. We are here
to provide quality, comprehensivedental treatment in a friendly, caringatmosphere. Our goal is to help thepatient achieve optimal dental heath
throughout their lifetime.
Wide-Ranging ServicesOur dental services include crowns,
bridges, dentures, dental extractions,tooth whitening, cosmetic dentistry,root canal, fluoride treatment, andall other major areas of dentistry.
Helping our patients achieveextraordinary dental health.Now accepting new patients.
TAYLORBROOKDENTAL.COM
TAYLOR BROOKDENTAL ASSOCIATES
We accept Northeast Delta Dental,State of Maine & Cigna Insurances
Thank you to everyone who cameout to our open house.
We hope you keep coming back!
Out ’n About at Jasmine’s Cafefor their Grand
Opening
Dog Math
A farmer wants to knowhow many sheep hehas in his field, so heasks his border collieto count them. The dogruns into the field,counts them and runsback to the farmer. Thefarmer says, "Howmany?" The dog says,"40." The farmer is sur-prised and says, "Howcan there be 40 - I onlybought 38!" The dogsays, "I rounded themup."
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 57783-7039 Fifty is the ultimate F-word.
I'm not 50--I'm 18 with 32 years' experience. Out ’n About atPoland Spring Inn
It’s true! I stole this shirt
from Charlie Sheen
Things Not ToSay To On Date
I never said you NEEDa nose job. I just said itwouldn't hurt to con-sider it.
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201158
Retirement: twice as much husband, half as much money.
I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
SAVE GAS - RIDE A GOLF CART• Campers • Senior Citizens• Campground and RV Owners• Free Delivery - 40 mile radius• Conversion Lift Kits • 4 passenger cars
497 Washington St. Auburn • 783-3232
HUGESALE
Florian’sFlorian’s~ Market ~~ Market ~
301 Main St., Auburn 783-9098 / Open 7 Days a WeekFind us on Facebook & Foursquare
Hot & Cold SandwichesPizza & More
Great Beer Specials!Create a case, mixed beer selection!
See store for details
Redemption CenterCommercial & Residential
pick-up available
SUNDAY SPECIALItalians $1.99
(ham, salami or veggie)
Check out our DeliTUESDAY SPECIALItalians $1.59
(ham, salami or veggie)
Check out MobiDealsfor our coupon!
Out ’n About at KC Bingo
at the Knights ofColumbus in
Lewiston
B-14,B-14.
I wish he’d say I-14...
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 59783-7039 Why do they put a post office box out in front of the post office? Youʼre already there!
Why is it called a classified ad if its there to let us know what there selling?
Why do people say “You know what?” before telling you what “what” is?
• Excavating• Concrete• Septic System Installation• Water or Sewer Connections• Retaining Walls• Screened Loam & Gravel Delivery
Residential Projects – We Do That!
Call for your FREE quote!
20 Highland Spring Road, Lewistonwww.stlaurentandson.com • 784-7944
Locally owned and operated since 1970
Call for your FREE quote!
Out ’n About atPoland Spring Inn
Uncle Andy, let me get my coat off before you snap
a picture...
Yep, it’s my birthday... I have mycake and I’m gonna
eat it, too!
600 Center Street • Shaw’s Plaza, Auburn • 786-0112Mon - Fri 9 am - 7 pm • Sat 9 am - 3 pm
v Professional & Experienced Hair Team
v Licensed Manicurist/Pedicurist
... to us, you’re morethan just a haircut
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201160
If there is an extra small and an extra large, why arent the extra mediums?
Why are there five syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?
Lewiston Youth Activities FundWe support school libraries!
Pleasant Street Bingo Hall475 Pleasant St., Lewiston • 777-1394
Every Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday & Friday at 6:30PM
$10 up to 48 cards - Games pay $50 - $100
Fridays: 1/2 of all packages goes to W.T.A.
If builders donʼt like building a 13th floor, why donʼt authors skip chapter eleven?
Danielle Brownof Community Credit Union, hasbeen promoted to Branch Support. Brown joined theCredit Union in 2008 as a Member Representative.
With this new position,Brown will be responsible foroverseeing the Credit Union’sShare Draft and Bill Payer pro-grams. She also serves as anAssistant to the Member ServiceSupervisor in the Lewistonbranch. Brown resides in Lewis-ton with her husband Nicholas.
Community Credit Union is amember-owned, full service fi-nancial institution that has beenserving its members and An-droscoggin County since 1945.
Community Credit Union hasbranches located at 144 PineSt., Lewiston and 40 Stanley St.,Auburn. For more information,log onto communitycreditunion.com
Brown Promoted
You grow it, we mow it!
Call Greenside Up LawnCare for all your grasscutting & trimming needs!Check out the ad on page 88.
782-2088150 Mill Street, Lewiston
www.davinciseatery.com
Pizza BuffetEvery Tuesday Night - 5pm-8pm
$9.50/pp
$5 Children 10 & under
Soup, Salad & Pizza
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 61783-7039
Why are you always the only one in your house that knows how to put a new toilet paperroll on the holder?
Why isnʼt the number 11 pronounced onety-one?
Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?
Tanning Salon& Wel lne s s Cen t e r
81 Manley Road, Auburn
784-8900
Hot Stu f f
WOMEN’S SELF DEFENSE
SEMINARat
• Learn how to defendyourself with tech-niques that are easy tolearn and apply in areal-life situation.
• Learn how to use yourkeys, a pen, or evenyour newspaper to defend yourself.
• Learn an easy formulaof stun-release-followup that will help aid inyour defense.
• Learn basic strikingand joint manipulation techniques.
• Gain confidence.• Most of all, have fun
learning somethingthat could benefit youor a loved one!
Friday, June 10th6:00-7:30pm
$20 Pre-registrationrequired.
Includes KeychainKubaton.
Max 20 participants.Call 784-8900 or stop
in to register!
Tanning Salon& Wel lne s s Cen t e r
81 Manley Road, Auburn
784-8900
Hot Stu f f
(l to r) Cindy, Emily, Queen Elizabeth, Michelle, Christine & LynnFor that perfect look on your wedding day, call the salon professionals at Panache at 782-9009
Did You Know: The Prince and Kate are now formally called The Duke & Duchess of Cambridge.
The girls at Panache got all glammed up for the Royal Wedding ofPrince William & Kate Middleton
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201162I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.
If you think talk is cheap, try hiring a lawyer.
For sale: Four-posted bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
20 Highland Spring Road, Lewiston333-3707 • www.MaineHeavy.com
Suspension Service • Oil ChangesInspections • Roadside AssistanceTurn Rotors • Transmission Flush
Tune Ups & Much More!
LIGHT & HEAVY DUTY TRUCK SERVICE & REPAIRS
You can come to us or we can go to you!You can come to us or we can go to you!
Out ’n About atPoland Spring Inn
Being Dockside* is one of my favorite
places to be...
Cyndi Robbins*Cyndi’s Dockside Restaurant
The first thing anycoaching staff must dois weed out selfish-ness.
– Johnny Majors
165 High Street, Auburn • 782-7796 • Open Tuesday - Sunday • www.villageinnmaine.com
Treat Dad to lunch or dinner on
Father’s Day, Sunday, June 19th.
OutdoorPatioLarge parties, please call ahead.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 63783-7039
There are two rules for success: 1) Don't tell all you know.
Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
HARRIS BROTHERS
HARRISBROS.
Call us!No Separating Required!
743-3891PO Box 2002 • Norway, Maine 04268
SERVING: NORWAY • WEST PARISMINOT • MCFALLS • OXFORD
14 Highland Spring Plaza,Suite A
Highland Spring Road,Lewiston
Hours: Tues. Wed. & Thu. 6am - 8pmFri. 6am - 3pm • Sat. 8am - 1pm786-4311
Ann Dumais Kelly Giambra Sue Poulin Kim Galgovitch Lisa Olmstead Pauline Guimond Lysa Ronan Valerie Kelshaw Jacinta Labbe
We are a full service salonWe Now Offer WiFi
would like to wish congratulations
to all area graduates!Get your graduate a gift card for any of our professional services.
Doing the Right Thing
A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to findthe headlights broken and considerable dam-age. Thereʼs no sign of the offending vehiclebut heʼs relieved to see that thereʼs a notestuck under the windshield wiper. “Sorry. I justbacked into your Beemer. The witnesses whosaw the accident are nodding and smiling atme because they think Iʼm leaving my name,address and other particulars. But Iʼm not.”
CabbieSubmitted by Glen Gisel
A stark-naked woman jumpedinto a vacant cab. The cabbiewas immediately beside himselfand just kept on staring at thewoman. He makes no attemptto start the car.
"What's wrong with you sun-shine, haven't you ever seen a
naked woman before?"
"I'll not be staring at you lady, Iam telling you, that would notbe proper, where I come from."
"Well if you're not bloody staringat me, what are you doingthen?
"Well, I am thinking to myself,where is this lady keeping themoney to pay me with."
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201164
Genius does what it must, talent does what it can, and you had best do what you're told.
Shooting stars arenʼt stars, of course. They're meteors.
22 Albiston Way, Auburn
784-57881-800-377-9433
WWW.MAINEOXY.COM
Out ’n About atPoland Spring Inn
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 65783-7039
Tennessee Williams wasnʼt born in Tennessee. He was born in Columbus, Mississippi.
Buttermilk doesnʼt contain butter.
TAYLOR BROOK DENTAL ASSOCIATES 784-1577
Why ChooseTaylor Brook Dental?
TAYLOR BROOKDENTAL ASSOCIATES
• Experienced, professional and courteous staff
• Our staff has a combined experience of391 years in dentistry
• Clean, modern facility with plenty of parking
• We offer Cosmetic & Preventative Dentistry Services all under one roof
• We accept the following insurances:Northeast Delta Dental, State of Maine& Cigna
• We have Care Credit & SpringBrook Patient Financing available
• Our mission is to help our patientsachieve extraordinary dental health
27 MILLETT DRIVE, AUBURN • TAYLORBROOKDENTAL.COM
Out & About at L-A Harley’s Black
& Orange Event
Joe & LindaBolduc
Bobbie & Shelley
Kris & Ken
Peter & RamonaGenther
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201166
The Douglas Fir isnʼt a fir—itʼs a pine tree.
Although people think otherwise, a newborn baby canʼt shed tears.
A Maine Tradition
You Can Count On!
Portland-Lewiston Road, Gray • 657-4714 • www.ColeFarms.comJUST ONE MILE NORTH OFF EXIT 63 OF MAINE TURNPIKE
BREAKFAST BUFFET
SATURDAY & SUNDAY Now open from 7am-11am
Adults .............$6.95
6 & under .......$3.95
Tuesday - Yankee Pot Roast . . . .$7.95w/Carrots, Potato & Gravy, Rolls
Wednesday - Chicken Pot Pie . . .$6.95w/Potato & Rolls
Sunday - Roast Pork . . . . . . . . .$8.95w/Potato, Choice of Salad, Coleslaw or Vegetable & Rolls
Hours:Monday-Thursday 6am – 9pm;
Friday 6am – 9:30pm; Saturday 6am – 9:30pm; Sunday 6am – 9pm
Friday & SaturdayAfter 4:00 PM
Prime Rib Au Jus*Small $13.25 • Large $15.95
Friday, Saturday & SundayFried Haddock* $11.25
Fried or Baked Stuffed Haddock* Small $9.75 • Large $13.25
Fried Seafood Combo* $16.95
Baked Salmon $10.95includes Potato, Choice of Salad or Cloeslaw
*with Potato, Choice of Salad, Coleslaw or Vegetable & Rolls Christine Marshall
of New Gloucester
WEEKDAY LUNCH SPECIALS
Monday - Maine Fried ShrimpTuesday - Fish & ChipsWednesday - Steak SubThursday - Grilled Reuben SandwichFriday - Fried Haddock Sandwich
Served from 10:30-3:30
I’ve worked here for 25 years, it’s a family atmosphere. Come try the
chicken pot pie or hot chicken sandwich,two Cole Farms favorites!
Out & About atBruno's 49th
Birthday & Rites of Spring Party at
Irish Twins
Erica Robinson& Bruno Smith
Veggies By Day...winning
Veggies withBruno
...epic winning
Boy, you look a lot like Charlie
Sheen...
I hear that all the time and I never get sick
of it!!
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 67783-7039 The London Bridge has never fallen down.
Smokey the Bear didnʼt always have that famous name. Originally, he was Hot Foot Teddy.
Those who do public speaking donʼt stand behind a podium. They stand behind a lectern. A podium is the platform or stage on which a speaker stands.
207-739-9022Commercial or Residential
• Lawn care
• Landscaping
• Seasonal Cleanups
• Stone Work
• Seeding
• Hedge Trimming
• Annual & Perennials Durginslawnandlandscape .comDurginslawnandlandscape .com
June Special
$10 OFFFirst lawn mowing
New accounts only
Out & About at L-A Harley’s Black
& Orange Event
Kenny & JanetPalmer
Janine & Al Hastey
Lori Chason,Dan Lawler &Susan Lawler
We're from the Augusta area,
but we come here for all our bikes, accessories & apparel because its the
best shop in Maine, hands down!
Nobody does Harley-Davidson
better than L-A Harley!
Michael Vallee Sr
And I think I’mpretty hot, too!
Out ’n About at the Village Inn
Vincent Corey & Leslie Lafrance
I love the Chicken Cordon
Bleu
The clam strips are delicious, but the French Onion Soup isthe best in L/A with-
out a doubt!
Shirley Michaud, Heather Allen (the birthday girl) & Paulette Dyment
We decided to treat the birthday girl
to her first meal at The Village Inn...
I'm very proud one of the three generations of The Vallee
family to own and operate the Village Inn in Auburn.We're proud to still prepare our meals using the
same recipes and techniques that we've always used.
And I'll be back again soon. Next time
you go out to eat, comehere!
in Auburn
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201168
Short Line, of Monopoly fame, wasnʼt actually a railroad. It was a bus company.
It might surprise you to find out men are far more likely to be moved to tears by music than women.
Windham Automotive
892-1212385 Roosevelt Trail, Windham
Saturday, June 18thDon’t miss the...
And be sure to stop by Ron’s Mexican Cantina & Grill.
All proceeds are donated to Camp Sunshine! Thank you for
your continued support!!
Sponsored by:
Always aCamp Sunshinedonation destination!
Most precious gems are actually colorless. Their color comes from impurities in the stonethat act as pigmenting agents.
ATTENTION FACEBOOK FANS!You can now book a tee time
directly from the Spring Meadows FaceBook account. Convenient,
fast and easy. Try it today!
ONE PAYS! TWO PLAY!Pay just one green fee and a friend plays free. Or, pay for two green fees and two play free.
Check out new website: SpringMeadowsGolf.com
Monday Night ScramblesMake your own team or sign up as a single.
Call the club for more information.
GOLF CLUB ATCOLE FARMS
2 for 1Must present this coupon to receive one free green fee for each paidgreen fee. Cart fee mandatory for each player. May not be combined
with other offers. Good for 18 holes, Mon. thru Thurs. all day, Fri. thruSun. after 1 p.m. excluding holidays, tournaments and twilight play.
Route 100 in Gray • Just minutes from Turnpike Exit 63For tee times contact Ben Morey at 657-2586
Senior LeagueEVERY TUESDAY
MORNINGCall the club for more
information
Dan Smith
Scott & MichelleSt. Pierre
Out & About atBruno's 49th
Birthday & Rites of Spring Party at
Irish Twins
Kristin & Chris
I can’t wait to see the
video of this kiss so I can PLAY IT
AGAIN.
The secret to success is to start from
scratch and keep onscratching.
– Dennis Green
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 69783-7039
Nothing can be more useful to you than a determination not to be hurried. – Henry David Thoreau
Venetian blinds were invented in Japan, not Venice.
Located on Rt. 115 in North Windham • 892-8220
Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. – Dale Carnegie
Dave & Maggie Garry, Owners
Hours: Mon - Sat 11am - 10pmSun 12 - 8pmRESTAURANT 892-9922
Located at 907 Roosevelt Trail
Casual Dining in a Relaxed Atmosphere
Don’t forgetFather’s Day
is June 19th.
But you can bring
dad and the whole
family anytime!Thatcher’s
has the best food in Windham!
Out & About atHolly’s Own
Restaurant for their4th anniversary
celebration
"I believe in Christianityas I believe that thesun has risen: not onlybecause I see it, butbecause by it I seeeverything else."
– C. S. Lewis
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201170
"Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen." – Michael Jordan
The time is always right to do what is right. – Martin Luther King, Jr.
Dad’s Place is a great place to fill your cooler!
Dad’s PlaceThere’s NO PLACE like...
23 Pleasant Street, Mechanic Falls • 345-5551
Hot & Cold Buffet-Style Catering
No job too big or too small!
Professional service at an affordable price
Dad’s PlaceDad’s Place345-9009
Summer CateringFrom Weddings to Backyard BBQ’s to Company Parties & More!
Call Diana or Larry formore info and pricingCatering Division
Whether your going to the beach, to the races or just hanging out in your own back yard...
There’s NO PLACE like...
Win as if you were used to it, lose as if you enjoyed it for a change. – Erick Golnik
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 71783-7039
It is the still, small voice that the soul heeds, not the deafening blasts of doom. – William Dean Howells
"If it's sanity you're after, there's no recipe like laughter." – Henry Rutherford Elliot
Out & About atHolly’s Own
Restaurant for their4th anniversary
celebration
This is what I’m talking
about!!
I heard Uncle Andy was
making a comeback...
My song writing and I are a
work in progress. Andwe’re certainly moving
forward!
REMO
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201172In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
Bad thoughts are like germs. Build up your immunity!
The main trouble with mental notes is the ink fades so fast.
M&P Property Management1339 Sabattus Street, Lewiston
Moe 577-0690 • Scott 402-5108 • [email protected]
Now Offering
PAVINGProfessional, Affordable & High Quality Work
20 years experienceCommercial & Residential
Materials Sold & Delivered
CALL FOR YOURFREE ESTIMATE!
Mulch • Packing Gravel • Top Soil • Crushed Rock • Mulch by the bag or truckload
A pickpocket was ap-pearing in court for aseries of petty crimes."Mr. Brewster," thejudge said, "you arehereby found guilty andfined the sum of $150."
After consulting withhis client, Mr. Brew-ster's lawyer stood upand said, "Your Honor,my client is a little shortat this time. He hasonly $125 in hispocket, but if youwould allow him a fewminutes in the crowd..."
"I have a sore throat,Doctor. I ache, I have afever."
"Sounds like a virus."
"Everyone in the officehas it."
"Well then, maybe it's astaff infection."
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 73783-7039
The time to relax is when you don't have time for it. – Sydney J. Harris
• Power your whole house
• Keep medical equipment
running
• Keep food cold &
your home warm
• Keep well pumps &
sump pumps working
• Power your whole house
• Keep medical equipment
running
• Keep food cold &
your home warm
• Keep well pumps &
sump pumps working
And Much More!
www.electricalsystemsofmaine.comwww.electricalsystemsofmaine.com
ELECTRICAL SYSTEMS OF MAINEELECTRICAL CONTRACTORS
1200 Minot Ave., Auburn
783-7126
INCLUDES FULL INSTALLATIONCALL FOR MORE INFO
INCLUDES FULL INSTALLATIONCALL FOR MORE INFO
Donʼt hate me because I m good, hate me because I know it!
Out & About at L-A Harley’s Black
& Orange Event
Mercedes Shellman& Dean Hale
John Dianan &Kerry Kenney
Dawn Chase &Richard Urquhart
I came up here from Portland
because L-A Harley was the only dealership in the
entire state with the exact bike I was
looking for.
L-A Harley's got the best selection
& service ever!
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201174
NEW Church Bulletin Bloopers: Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
NEW Church Bulletin Bloopers: The school drama group will be presenting Shakespeare'sHamlet in the Church hall on Friday at 7PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
LEWISTON541 Lisbon Street, Lewiston • 784-4029 92 Pleasant Street, Brunswick • 725-2797
For All Your Commercial & Personal Insurance Needs
BILODEAU INSURANCE AGENCY2 locations to serve your needs
BRUNSWICK
NEW Church Bulletin Bloopers: Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to theaddition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
Out & About atPedro O’Hara’s for
Cinco De Mayo
It’s party time!
I love coming to Pedro’s to see my favorite bartender,
Abby!
I didn't loose my mar-bles, the people in myhead are playing withthem and they wontgive them back! I wishthey would learn toshare. – Uncle Andy
Don't steal, don't lie,don't cheat, don't selldrugs. The governmenthates competition!
1111 Center StreetAuburn
Cell: 754-0310Tel: 782-6515COLLISION REPAIR & PAINTING
AUTO BODY & SALES
NADA Book $18,900
Loaded, 64KNICE!
2006 Jeep Commander Limited
MARC’S PRICE
$16,900Tasha Pelletier, Model
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 75783-7039
One of the most powerful handclasps is that of a new grandbaby around the finger of a grandfather. – Joy Hargrove
An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly. – Gene Perret
Ray The Electrician LLCRESIDENTIAL & COMMERCIAL
Office: 225-3360 • Cell: [email protected]
Fully Insured • All Electrical Service Work• Houses• Cottages• Dormitories• Campgrounds• Schools
• Phone Cable• Camera Security• House Alarms• Lead Certified
Renovator
“My Prices Won’tShock You”
Financing Available • Some Restrictions Apply
PLUS:• Install all sizes of generators, from portable to
stand-by generators• Install permanent line poles for new housing developments
We answer any emergency call 24 hours a day / 7 days a weekLicensed in Maine, New Hampshire, Massachusetts and Vermont
Out & About at L-A Harley’s Black
& Orange Event
Kathy Harris, Jesse Harris & Mike Franklin
Dana & TinaGoodwin
Better prices, nicer staff
& more activities goingon than any other Harley dealership
I've been to.
Jeff Green &Lindsay Delorme
Stop wishing you had a Harley. Stop
by L-A Harley today and see how easy it is to makeyour dream a reality. Theycan finance your purchase
and help you find the bike that’s right
for you!
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201176
Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. – G Norman Collie
If becoming a grandmother was only a matter of choice, I should advise every one of youstraight away to become one. There is no fun for old people like it! – Hannah Whithall Smith
960 Main Street, Oxford • 539-4149500 feet North of the New Balance Factory Outlet Store
Largest Indoor Flea Market in the Area!
Open7 Days a Week8 AM - 5 PM
Featuring
131Vendors
Come to Oxford’s only original indoor flea market!
Open 7 days a week year-round for your shopping!
We honor:M/C, DEBIT, ATM, VISA,
Am. Express & Discover cards
VISIT
“THE BOOK NOOK”
Collectibles • Coins • Glassware • Sports Cards • Furniture • BEANIE BABIES
Advertising Items • Jewelry • Cassettes • DVDs • CD’s • Videos • Antiques & Lots More!
Always
Buying
Regular Paperbacks$1/each
$3.50 each for most Hardcover Books
Selective Hard Covers $2
20% OFFall Audio Books (books on tape & CD)
Over 55,000 Pre-Read Books
& Cookbooks
Pre-Read Books arriving daily
Large Selectionof FentonGlassware!
20% - 70% OFF
INVENTORYREDUCTION
SALE!
Out & About atHolly’s Own
Restaurant for their4th anniversary
celebration
Shhh...
And you thought I was
sleeping on the job...Got ya!
Come to Holly’s and dance
with us!
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 77783-7039 Interpreting Hotel Brochures: Concierge ................... Stand with tourist brochures
Once a human reaches the age of 35, he/she will start losing approximately 7,000 brain cells a day. The cells will never be replaced.
CALL US FOR THE NEXT NRA PISTOL COURSE DATE!
Hours:
9-5 Mon-Fri • 9-1 Sat
John Reid, Owner
We Buy, Sell & TradeFull Line Gun Smith Service
New website coming soon!!
J.T. REID’S GUNS86 Court St., Auburn • 777-3579
Jamie Pelletier, Manager
Checkus out!
Pat’s Pizza784-8221
85 Center Street, Auburn
THE DECK awaits you…
Lewiston - Auburn Rotary2011 Spring Flower Scholarship Fundraiser
Contact Phil Nadeau at [email protected] or 207-513-3121, Ext. 3201. Fax orders to: 207-795-5069
All choices are 10” hanging flower
baskets
Geraniumssolids: pink/red/salmon
Petuniaspurple/pink/white/red mixed
Fuchsiastwo-tone: pink & red/pink & purple/red & white
New Guinea Impatiensred/orange/purple/burgundy
Calacopiapurple/pink/yellow/red/white
Out & About at Holly’s Own
Restaurant for their4th anniversary cele-
bration
Just Grin & Bear it!
Uncle Andy wins wrestlingmatch with stuffed bear
at Poland Spring Trading
Julie Dionne & Cindy Harndenat Impulse Hair in New Auburn
Great service, affordable prices and a sexy look! Even on
Impulse!
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201178
Interpreting Hotel Brochures: Picturesque ................. Theme park nearby
Interpreting Hotel Brochures: Gentle breezes .............. Occasional Gale-force winds
Calories That Don't Count... LEFT-HANDED FOOD: If you have a drink in your righthand, anything eaten with the other hand has no calories.
MATERIAL DELIVERIESGRAVEL • SAND • LOAM
STONE • FILLMULCH
1331 Sabattus Street, Lewiston • [email protected]
• LANDSCAPING
• PAVING
• EXCAVATION
• RETAINING WALLS
• EMERGENCY WATER/SEWER REPAIRS
• DEMOLITION
• PARKING LOT REPAIRS • Fully Insured • Certified in Erosion Control •
995 Center Street, Auburn • www.granitemarblecountertops.netHours: Mon-Fri 9am-5:30pm; Sat 9am-2pm
FAMILY OWNED AND OPERATED!
786-5556
Family Owned & Operated
Remodeling Your Kitchen or Bathroom?Over
110 GRANITEand
300 QUARTZcolors to
choose from!
Check out our
showroom!
Out & About at L-A Harley’s Black
& Orange Event
Sam Bartlett &Laura Kenney
Larry & Mili Gahagan
This is the best Harley dealership I've ever been to. Thestaff here is friendly,
knowledgeable and they'llbend over backwards
to help you.
We like being a part of the L-A HarleyFamily because there's always a lot of activities
going on.
Little Susie was watching her father, the deacon, write a homily.
“How do you knowwhat to say?” sheasked her dad.
“Why, God tells me,”he replied.
“Then why do you keepcrossing things out?”
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 79783-7039
Calories That Don't Count... CHARITABLE FOODS: Girl Scout cookies, bake sale cookies, ice creamsocials and church strawberry festivals all have a religious dispensation from calories.
Do not neglectyour Septic System
For proper maintenance,it should be pumped periodically.
Liquid Waste Pumping • Portable sanitation facilities
ServiceRentalSales
We carry risers, covers,baffle replacements, septic additives.
CALL US TODAY TO SET UP AN APPOINTMENT
G.A. DOWNINGCO., INC.
111 Woodman Hill RDMinot, ME 04258
207.782.4508800.924.4500
Calories That Don't Count... FOOD ON FOOT: All food eaten while standing has no calories.
DRIVING RANGE MINI-GOLF
Open 7 days a week!
Burgers • DogsL-A’s Best Onion Rings
Fries • Ice Cream
RESTAURANT
Lake Shore Drive, (first left after the lake)Off Rt. 4 in Auburn
www.tabersgolf.comTABERS
Check usout online!
Fishing Terminology
TACKLE BOX - A boxshaped alarmingly likea good first aid kit, onlya tackle box carries anextremely large num-ber of sharp objects, sothat when you reach inblindly to grab an ad-hesive bandage, yousoon find that you willneed more than one.
Adam Downs & Courtney Richardson
Mechanic Falls Redemption
Looking for redemption?It’s right here in Mechanic Falls!
Take a look at page 47.
Photo © M�s Photography
Sadie, please stop bugging me and just
leave me alone.
Out ’n About at Pelletier’s Karate
Shihan Rich Pelletier
Sensi SadieLandry
Listen, I’m stronger than you and
I’m taking charge here!
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201180
You chatter more than a dolphin by a fish bucket.
"What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce." - Mark Twain
550 Lisbon Street, Lewiston, ME • 782-0831
www.shermarnolds.comNEW EXPANDED HOURS:
Monday 8-7pm • Tues - Fri. 8-5pm • Sat. 9-2pm
(l to r) Arti Pearl, TerryCaito & Shawn Brown
Done Right Hardscape'smotto says it all. "If we'redoing it, it's doneright." The company,which was formed in thefall of 2010 by Arti Pearl,Shawn Brown & TerryCaito is quickly becomingknown for their widerange of hardscape serv-ices, high quality workand competitive pricing.The company offers alltypes of Hardscape serv-ices from RetainingWalls, Patios, GraniteCurbing, Driveways,Walkways, Steps andmore. They also offer Ex-cavating service such asHouse Lots, Clearing,Grading, Bulldozer Work,Foundations and more.The crew has over 15years experience in thefield and they use theirexpertise to help theirclients plan & designhardscaping projects.They also offer freequotes to anyone inter-ested in having a projectcompleted and the com-pany is bonded & fully in-ured. For moreinformation on DoneRight Hardscape or toschedule a free quote.Contact Shawn Brown,project manager by call-ing 740-0560 or 344-5814 or email them at:[email protected] their ad on page 81.
Hardscape SpecialistsGettin’ it Done Right!
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 81783-7039
Calories That Don't Count... FOOD EATEN QUICKLY: If you are rushed through a meal, the entire meal doesn't count. Conversely, if you have ordered something fattening and now regret it, you can minimize its calories by gulping it down.
Calories That Don't Count... LEFTOVERS: An extra hamburger, a hotdog butt, half a Twinkie, anything intended for the garbage has no calories regardless of what happens to it in the kitchen.
Calories That Don't Count... OTHER PEOPLE'S FOOD: A chocolate mousse that you did not order has no calories. Therefore, have your companion order dessert and you taste half of it.
Retaining Walls •Walkways & Steps •
Brick Patios •Specialty Stonework •
Granite Curbing •Foundations •House Lots •Excavation •And more! •
Call for a FREE QUOTE
36 Howes Corner Road, Turner • 344-5814 • [email protected]
BONDED & FULLY INSURED
Shawn Brown Project Manager
740-0560
www.watsonlawncare.com
207-754-5355email: [email protected]
All New CustomersReceive a
FREEFall Cleanup!*
*Call for details
Out ’n About at theVillage Inn
in Auburn
Glenn, Louise & Cellia
We love the Village Inn's
new outdoor Patio!
Shari, Dawn & Todd
We’re here to serve you one of the many famous
Village Inn dishes!
Rick Labonte &Michael Vallee Sr*In our May issue we inadver-
tently spelled Vallee incorrectly.
You would think after all these
years that Travis wouldknow how to spell my
last name!*
Things Not ToSay To On Date
I used to come here allthe time with my ex.
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201182
Bizarre things to say and do to a telephone solicitor to get him to hang up and leave you alone:"I'm sorry, but this phone is for personal calls only. The boss won't let us use it for business."
Bizarre things to say and do to a telephone solicitor to get him to hang up and leave you alone: Respond to their questions with fax/modem noises.
Things Not ToSay To On Date
And I won that trophyin the inter-fraternitybelching contest.
Exemplary Offspring
Submitted by Jimbo
Three mothers were sit-ting around comparingnotes on their exem-plary offspring.
"There never was adaughter more devotedthan my Alice," saidMrs. Davis with a sniff."Every summer shetakes me to theCatskills for a week,and every winter wespend a week at DelrayBeach."
"That's nothing com-pared to what my Annadoes for me," declaredMrs. Jones proudly."Every winter she treatsme to two weeks inMiami, and in the sum-mer two weeks in theHamptons, in my ownprivate guest house."
Mrs. Smith sat backwith a proud smile. "No-body loves her motherlike my Jackie does.Nobody."
"So what does she do?"asked the two women,turning to her.
"Three times a weekshe gets into a cab,goes to the best psychi-atrist in the city, andpays him a hundred andfifty dollars an hour justto talk about me!"
If you’re too busy to cook and you don’t want
fast food, try our HOME-COOKED MEALS!
Cash • Check • Major Credit Cards31 Leavitt Street, Auburn
(first left after the Minot Ave./Hotel Rd. inter-section as you head toward Mechanic Falls)
For only $7 each,Dinner for 1-200.Please order one day prior.
Pick up from 4:30-7:30 p.m.
Eggcettera Catering
784-5544
UNCLE ANDY APPROVED
See our full menu online at: EggcetteraCatering.com
and Dinner To Go
See our full menu online at: EggcetteraCatering.com
June MenuDinner To Go
Please order one day prior. Pick up from 4:30-7:30 p.m.
Thank You to our Sponsors!
Get your team together and join us for a great day of golf!
6th AnnualLewiston High School Football Booster
GOLF TOURNAMENT
Sunday, June 12, 20117am Registration/Sign In
8am Shotgun Start • Scramble FormatFairlawn Country Club, Poland
$50 per person, $200 per team of four(must accompany form)
Come support your Blue Devils
SPONSOR A HOLE!$50.00
Advanced Registration is preferred, you canregister at the door.
FMI: Jeff Johnson, 577-0588 • or Joe McKinnon, 333-9088
Prizes for: 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place, closest-to-the-pin, longestdrive and putting contest. Plus other events.
Registration Form
Player 1: Phone
Player 2: Phone
Player 3: Phone
Player 4: Phone
Please register before Sunday, June 5th. Make checks payable and mail to:LHS Football Boosters, PO Box 34, Lewiston, ME 04240
GridironRESTAURANT
& SPORTS PUB
LANGLOISAUTO BODY
JRMRACING
EMERSONCHEVROLET
HairlooksInternational
Berube’s
HOLMCARPENTRYOver 30 years experience
MELANSONCONSTRUCTION, INC.
PAVING
753-1446
70 Lincoln St.Lewiston333-3663
782-1125
1331 Sabattus St.Lewiston782-3617
1305 Sabattus St.Lewiston • 784-0550 577-7969
782-1965
946 Center St.Auburn
784-3503
784-5899
777-6353
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201184
Bizarre things to say and do to a telephone solicitor to get him to hang up and leave you alone: "You'll have to excuse me now, my armpit is on fire."
Caffeine is proof that God loves us and wants us to pay attention.
MACHINE GUNS • SILENCERS • NFA TRANSFERSSHORT BARREL RIFLES/SHOTGUNS
We also carry:All other types of firearmsKnives • Ammo by the case
We Buy - Sell - TradeFinders fee for collections
Rt. 4 • Turner, MEJust past Twitchell’s Airport
Call Matt, Drew or Chris at 225-3432
Chris Jordan, owner 577-0210
Out ’n About at MaineArt Glass Studio
Getting a head has always
been Uncle Andy’s goal.His goal has been
met.
Confucius say: Those who quote me
are fools.
OVER 20 YEARS OF BUILDING EXPERIENCECall 753-9887 or 576-8528 Fully Insured • Many References Available
Best prices with the highest quality workmanship.“The Difference is in the Details”
New Homes
Call us for your FREE quote!Call us for your FREE quote!
Sun RoomsGarages
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 85783-7039 I've got some Carefree gum, but it hasn't kicked in yet. I'm worried.
The Lenscrafter technician got his tie caught in the machine and he made a spectacle of himself.
Assisted H
ome CareFor more information visit us at:550 College St., Lewiston
783-7375We cover Gray, New Gloucester, Turner, Augusta,
Windham, Brunswick, Topsham, Bath, Mechanic Falls, Norway, Bowdoinham, Pownal and surrounding areas.
Come Join Our Team!If you’re interested in flexible hours andvaried assignments, all with an excellent
support system, contact us!
Nancy Merrill: AdministratorHeather Trainer: Director of Nursing
Assisted Home Care
CNA’sTired of the
Same Old Same Old?
GREAT PAY & FLEXIBLE HOURS • BASE PAY $13.00 PER/HRWeekend Shift Differentials
Out ’n About at MaineArt Glass Studio
I can’t believe those guys at UncleAndy’s Digest would publish this... They
are udderly ridiculous!
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201186It's always I before E. Isn't that weird?
If you're killed by a wild pig, does that mean you were boared to death?E
very
on
e se
emed
to
clam
rig
ht
up
wh
enU
ncl
e A
nd
y ar
rive
d...
The naked truth is
sometimes moreapparent then
we think...
Out ’n About at MaineArt Glass Studio
I only have eyes for you!
Bill & Rachel Stretton Mother's Day Ride 2011
I always enjoy taking myhot mamma for a
bike ride!
Gar
y S
imar
d,
Jim
Ars
enau
ld
& L
arry
Lea
vitt
at
Mar
cel's
Hai
r in
New
Aub
urn
No
mat
ter
whic
h wa
y we
re
faci
ng, w
e’ll
give
U
ncle
And
y a
high
five
!
Bert Morin at Undercover
Flea Market
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 87783-7039
Find us &
like us on
I ordered a honeymoon salad. It's lettuce, alone.
If you want more time, wear more watches.
Andale, Andale,Arriba, Arriba!
“Glamour” Shot
Oh my God, we’re going in
Uncle Andy’s, what adream come true!
Out & About at Pedro O’Hara’sfor Cinco De Mayo
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201188When my ship comes in, I'll be at the airport. – Uncle Andy
Heather’s GardensSpecializing in flower garden design
and maintenance
Heather Martin 576-6814Degree in Horticulture [email protected]
YOU GROW IT, WE MOW IT!
Best prices in L/A!!
Lawn mowing & trimming
Greenside Up Lawn Care
713-3566
Gaseous
Some time ago, I wastaking a ground schoolclass for private pilots.During the sessions onweather, the instructorwanted to discuss theconcept of sublimation- the act of going froma gas to a solid skip-ping the intermediatestage(s). e.g., frost -water vapor in the airbecoming a solid onsurfaces without firstgoing through the liquidstage.
Wanting to see if theclass had understoodthe concept, the in-structor asked if any-one could provide anexample of somethingthat went straight froma solid to a gas (ex-pecting "dry ice" as theanswer).
A previously unknownsection of my mindtook control of mymouth and immediatelyemitted the word "burrito."
It took the instructorabout 10 minutes to regain an academiccomposure.
Your kids will always have“Something to do” on thosehot summer days. And because your ABC Pool isvirtually maintenance freeyouʼll enjoy it even more. We offer a full line of aboveground pools with a pricethatʼs right for any budget.www.abcpool.comwww.abcpool.com
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
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JUNE 201190
What did Ernie say when his best friend asked him if he wanted some ice cream? "Sure, Bert!"
A man got a blood transfusion, but the hospital ran out of blood - so substituted borscht.Now his heart never skips a beet.
Saturday, June 25th10K Race • 5K Race • One-mile Run or Walk
Race starts from the town square in Mechanic FallsStick around for the many events going on throughout the day for “Community Day” in Mechanic Falls!
For more info about running, volunteering or to register:
www.pathwaysmaine.comor call 753-1457 x2202
Bunny, Moe & Lou
If you want the best selection of Harley's in Maine and the best bike buying experience you can get, then look no further
than L-A Harley Davidson!
Chuck Neal, Bruce Nadeau & Marcel Bolduc
Lori & Susan
Ride to L-A Harley, stretch your legs on thenew covered porch, then
check out the shop, too!
It’s hard to choose just
one...
Out & About at L-A Harley’s Black
& Orange Event
Fishing Terminology
TEST - (1) The amount of strength a fishing line affords an anglerwhen fighting fish in a specific weight range. (2) A measure of yourcreativity when trying to come up with yet another explanation forwhy you have come home once again empty-handed.
Fly In
My husband is a doc-tor, and he received anemergency call from apatient.
She had a fly in herear. He suggested anold home remedy."Pour warm olive oilinto your ear and liedown for a few min-utes," he said. "Whenyou lift your head thefly should emerge withthe liquid."
The patient thoughtthat sounded like agood idea, but she stillasked, "Into which earshould I pour the oil?"
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 91783-7039
I read a book on helium once. I couldn't put it down!
Why isn't palindrome spelled the same way backwards?
Building or Remodeling??Check out our Showroom!!
WE STOCK:Monitors • Rinnai • Radiant (Heating Supplies)
Baseboard • 1 & 2 pc Tub & Showers Vanity Tops & Bases • Kitchen & Bath Faucets
Toilets • Repair Parts (Plumbing & Heating)
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www.myselco.com
M-F 7:30-5:30 • Sat. 8-4PLUMBING & HEATING SUPPLIES
Glen A. Gisel7 Main St.
(Junction of Rt. 302 & 121)Raymond
655-4635www.downeastsharpening.com
FOUR SEASON SERVICEDowneast Sharpening
Sales & Service of Outdoor Power Equipment
Complete Sharpening Service
DOLMAR shindaiwa
Fresh ProduceBlackie’s Farm
Open Year Round
996 Sabattus St. • Lewiston • 783-7020
908 Minot Ave. • Auburn • 786-0005
Hours: 6am - 8pm
June is getrid of ants
month!
NO INITIAL CHARGESCancel your annual service today and call...
Maine SeasonalPest Control
Lic # CMA44691/7A7B7E
Andrew FergusonMaster Applicator
(207) [email protected]
Dan Boyd Auction Company
Antiques, House Attics, Basement Items,
One Item or Entire Estates • Complete Cleanouts Available
Sports Items, Guns, Military Items
998-5084 or 754-1009Dan Boyd
State & Federally Licensed
I’ll pay you cash for
your antiques!
**DISTRESS SALES**FREE list w/pics of bank foreclosure properties
& distress saleswww.mainedistressedsales.com
orFree recorded message
1-800-392-8953 • ID #1042Courtesy of Keller Williams Realty/Cathy Manchester 653-7653
DON’T TAILGATE!
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
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JUNE 201192
I'm a pessimistic optimist. I expect the worst - that way things can only get better.
How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
I'm right 98% of the time. Who cares about the other 3%? – Uncle Andy
JUNE is a great time to clean out attics, cellars & garages!
Over 10 years making unwanted stuff go away!!
Property Services • Especially ForeclosuresTrash outs, Lock changes & secured, Cellars pumped • Demolition (one room or the whole building)
Roofing, painting porches and other light repairs
Fully Insured Call for FREE Quote!
782-5300 or 576-2501
Trash & Garbage • Furniture & Appliances • Construction & Demolition DebrisBoilers & Scrap Metal • Brush & Trees • Buildings Demolished & Removed
Get it GONE NOW!!• Any part of property cleaned – if you don’t want it, we’ll throw it away…• We bust our butts so you don’t have to!
Farrell EnterprisesFarrell EnterprisesOver 65?
Ask about seniordiscounts.
CALL US FOR A FREE QUOTE!
You are probablyan elementary
school teacher if:
~ You ask guests ifthey have rememberedtheir scarves and mit-tens as they leave yourhome.
~ You move your din-ner partner's glassaway from the edge ofthe table.
~ You ask if anyoneneeds to go to thebathroom as you entera theater with a groupof friends.
~ You hand a tissue toanyone who sneezes.
~ You declare "no cuts"when a shoppersqueezes ahead of youin a checkout line.
~ You ask, "Are yousure you did yourbest?" to the mechanicwho fails to repair yourcar to your satisfaction.
~ You sing the "Alpha-bet Song" to yourselfas you look up a num-ber in the phone book.
~ You say everythingtwice. I mean, you re-peat everything.
"There is no such thingas 'on the way out' aslong as you are stilldoing something interesting and good;you're in the businessbecause you're breathing."
– Louis Armstrong
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 93783-7039 Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
How many weeks are there in a light year?
ANDROSCOGGIN TITLE COMPANY
95 MAIN STREET • AUBURN, MAINE 04210
Title Insurance • Title Searches • Real Estate Closings
Bart Kelsea, President
(207) 784-6413
CCURATE CCOUNTING
& Tax Services, P.A.
• Income Tax Returns • Sales & Use Tax • Payroll Taxes • Accounting Systems
922 Sabattus Street Lewiston • 777-7005(Corner of Sabattus & Garcelon Streets - Across from Val’s Rootbeer)
MELANSON CONSTRUCTION, INC.84 No Name Pond Road, Lewiston, ME • 784-5899
784-5899
PAVING Call for
FREE Estimates
• Residential and
Commercial Paving
• Sweeping
• Seal Coating
Evan Roywith his 23 lb, 46” Pike
Where I caught it...
Ask me no questions, I will tell no
lies.
Jim & Anita Sanuk & ElroyWinckler all of Scarborough
Whenever we're in L/A, we go to the
Village Inn to eat, its wellworth the drive and makes
the trip more than worth it.
The Lobster GirlShannon Wilson
Don't forget to buy a lobster hat when you're
here too, we have two typesto choose from, but this
one's my favorite.
Out ’n About at theVillage Inn
in Auburn
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 201194
Can bald people get a hairline fracture?
Mistakes are made from time to time. Without them, some of us would have never been born!
BROTHERS CONSTRUCTION
24´ X 40´ RANCH ROOF$3995 COMPLETE JOB
Email: [email protected] web site: www.LessardRoofing.com
➭ Remove and haul away all roofing debris➭ Apply 6 feet of Certainteed ice shield➭ Apply 15lb. felt paper on entire roof area➭ Install a 30-year Certainteed
architectural shingle on entire roof➭ Installation of ridge vent
to entire ridge
ALL LABOR AND MATERIALS
INCLUDED!
783-7299 or 576-4330
WE DON’T USE SUBCONTRACTORS
(continued on next page)
OUT ʼN ABOUTWITH
MIAMI MIKE
Welcome to summer allyou Uncle Andy’s Digesters!Here we are already in Juneand I truly cannot believehow fast this year is flyingby. We are already half waythrough 2011 and I will befrank with you, not one ofmy New Year’s resolutionshas been completed or ad-hered to. However, I don’tactually recall making anyresolutions to begin with, so,I guess it’s at least partiallycorrect what they say, “Ifyou set the bar low enoughor, I in my case, don’t set itat all, you have a muchhigher rate of success.” Nowdon’t go getting all bent outof shape, I am only joking. Idon’t want any of you recenthigh school and collegegraduates to go setting anybar so low your future goalsconsist of watching all thereruns of Family Feud ondaytime television. Nowplease do not miss-construemy wording here, MiamiMike definitely gets into around or two of the feud andI am still partially convincedthe surveyed population ismade up of five people, oneof whom is Chuck Norrisand his vote counts for 96%of the results.
With summer upon us weall want to look our best andone of the new crazes herein south Florida is teethwhitening. There are kiosksand ads all over, from thetop of taxicabs to the middleof shopping centers. Now Iknow we are all Maineiacsbut that doesn’t mean youneed to go giving yourselfthe back woods whitening.This would consist of you,belly flopping into the pool
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo & Travis
JUNE 2011 95783-7039 My frosted flakes melted in the summer.
800-561-8506Oxford/Auburn
If you get mono twice, isn't that stereo?(continued from previous page)
and smiling underwater forlong periods of time, hopingthe chemicals you put inthere over the winter willbrighten up your pearlywhites. Let me stop youright there! First, slowly stepaway from the edge of thepool. Second, immediatelycall ABC Pool & Spa to cleanup the pool from the wintermonths; you never knowwhat may be floating in thereafter a long winter. Third, getto Taylor Brook Dental Asso-ciates and let the profession-als take care of your teeth.You wouldn’t let your wasteremoval specialist be yourinterior decorator would ya?Exactly! Now, once again myfellow digesting friends it’stime to end, vaya con dios(Go With God) or whomeverelse you want to go with.Until next month I am yourMiami Mike and I approvethis message!
Rolex & Timex
A girl was visiting herfriend who had ac-quired two new dogs,and asked her whattheir names were. Thefriend responded bysaying that one wasnamed Rolex and onewas named Timex.
Her friend said, "Who-ever heard of someonenaming dogs like that?"
"Hellooooooooooooo,"answered the girl."They're watch dogs!"
In 1968, Iron Butterflyreleased its classicalbum, Inna-Gadda-Da-Vida. The title ofthe album apparentlyresulted from theslurred speech of themain singer. The lineshould have read: "Inthe Garden of Eden."
783-7039
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
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JUNE 201196I got a jump rope, but it's just a rope. Turns out you have to do the jumping part.
I slept through the alarm this morning. Good thing it was only a small fire.
Mon.-Sat. 9:30am-8pmSun. 12:30-5:30pm
Tanning Salon& Wel lne s s Cen t e r
81 Manley Road, Auburn
784-8900
For ThoseWho Likeit HOT!
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UV ActivatedInquire within for details
Sauna • MassageTanning
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Whiten TeethWhile You Tan!!
Become a fan onFacebook
Women’s Self DefenseSeminar
Friday June 10th6-7:30pm
$20 Pre-registration required.Space is limited. Call or stop into reserve your spot!
867 Center Street, Auburn 753-0033
Browse our DEALER INVENTORY
2006 Jeep Commander6 cyl., Auto, 3rd Row, Parking Sensor
06 Audi A4 2.0T Quattro, AWD, Leather Seats, CD, 6-Spd . .$14,99004 Audi A6 2.7T S-Line, 6 Cyl,, 4 Dr., Blue, Air/Cruise/PWDL $11,49003 Audi A6 4.2L, Auto, V8, 97k, Loaded . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$10,49007 BMW 328xi, 4 Dr., Black, Loaded, AWD . . . . . . . . . . . . .$18,99008 Chevy Avalanche LTZ, 4x4, Tow Pkg., Bed Liner . . . . . .$24,99007 Chevy Trailblazer LS, Auto, Tow, 4X4,4 Dr., Gray . . . . . . .$12,49007 Chevy Cobalt LT, Auto, Coupe, 83k, CD, PW/L, Roof . . . . . .$9,49006 Chevy Trailblazer EXT LS, 4x4, Tow Pkg., Running Boards .$11,49005 Chevy Suburban 1500 LS, 96k, 9-Seat, Roof Rack . . . . .$12,99005 Chevy Trailblazer LS, Red, 94k, 4x4, Power Options . . . .$10,99005 Chevy Equinox LT, 68k, 4DR, Auto, Loaded . . . . . . . . . .$11,99004 Chevy Trailblazer LS, 4x4, Auto, 85k . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$9,99003 Chevy Suburban 1500LS, 9 Seats, 4 Dr., Charcoal . . . . .$10,49006 Chrysler 300 Touring, V6, Auto, Black,CD, 4Dr, Loaded .$11,99008 Doge Caliber, Gas Saver, Wagon, CD, Auto, 4 Dr, 75k, Silver . .$9,99007 Dodge Caravan SXT, V6, Auto, Dual Sliders, CD, Blue . . .$10,99007 Dodge Ram 1500 SLT, Quad Cab, Tow Pkg., 86k . . . . . .$17,99006 Dodge Durango Limited, 78k, GPS, Leather, Loaded . . .$15,99005 Dodge Dakota SLT Quad Cab, Gray, 4x4, 84k, CD Changer .$13,99005 Dodge Ram 1500 SLT, V8, 4x4, Silver, Tow Pkg., CD . . . .$12,99004 Dodge Dakota SLT, Quad cab, 4x4, 8 Cyl., Auto, Silver . . .$8,99003 Dodge Durango SLT, Tow Pkg., 3rd Row, Pwr Option . . . .$7,49007 Ford Focus ZX5 SES, Auto., 5 Dr., Red . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$9,49005 Ford F350 4x4, 4Dr, Red, Loaded . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$11,49004 Ford Explorer, V6, 4x4, Auto, Loaded . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$8,99007 GMC Yukon SLT, 8 Cyl., Auto., DVD, Leather, 3rd row . . . .$20,99006 GMC Envoy Denali, Auto, 4x4, Loaded, Black . . .CALL FOR PRICE06 Honda Element, Auto, Blue, 4Dr, Power Options .CALL FOR PRICE
07 Hyundai Sonata Limited, 74K 6 Cyl., Auto., Silver . . . . . .$11,49005 Infinity G35x, V6, Auto, Red, AWD . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$8,99007 Jeep Commander Sport, 79k, 4x4, Blue, 3rd Row . . . . .$13,99006 Jeep Commander, 6 Cyl., Auto., 3rd Row, Parking Sensor . . . .$12,49006 Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo, 6 Cyl., Auto., Red, 4X4 . . .$12,49006 KIA Sportage EX, 85k, Running Boards, 4x4, Auto . . . . .$11,99007 Mazda3 Sport, One-Owner, 5-Speed, 68k, Gray, Roof, 4Dr., $12,49008 Mercury Milan AWD, 4 Dr., Black . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$12,49004 MINI Cooper S, Super Charged 6-Speed, 86k . . . . . . . . .$11,99005 Saab 93, Auto, 83k, Silver, Loaded . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$9,49006 Saturn Ion 3, 35MPG, 5-Speed, Coupe . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$7,99007 Scion TC, 89k, Auto, Roof, Premium Wheels . . . . . . . . . .$10,99008 Toyota Tacoma TRD, V6, 4x4, 5-Speed, Black, 54k . . . .$20,49004 Toyota 4Runner SR5, Tow Pkg. Running Boards, 4x4 . . . . . . .$15,49007 Volvo S60, AWD, Auto, 5Cyl., Grey, Loaded . . . . . . . . . . .$12,99005 Volvo XC90 T6, 4x4, V6, Black, 3rd Row, Loaded . . . . . .$13,99005 Volvo S60 R, AWD, Red, Roof, Loaded . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$12,49005 Volvo V50 Wagon, 55k, Red Loaded . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$12,49008 VW Jetta SE, Auto, Loaded, Black . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$12,99008 VW Jetta Wolfsburg Edition, 79k, Auto, CD, Moonroof . . .$14,99007 VW Jetta, 90k, 5-Speed, White, CD Changer, Loaded, Roof . .$11,49007 VW Rabbit PZEV, Red, 5-Speed, 43k, CD Changer, 4Dr. . .$11,49007 VW Rabbit PZEV, 43K, 5 Speed . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$11,49005 VW Passat GLS 1.8T Wagon, 91k, Auto, . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$8,99005 VW Passat, Green , 48k, Power Options, Auto . . . . . . . .$11,99005 VW Jetta GLS PZEV, 5-Speed, 96k, Power Options . . . . . .$8,99004 VW Passat, Grey, Auto, 71k, Power Options . . . . . . . . . . .$8,99003 VW Passat GLX VR6, Leather, Loaded, Auto, 90k . . . . . . .$7,990
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