Uncle Andy's Digest 6.11

JUNE 2011FREE

THE BEST THINGSIN LIFE ARE

138 Main Street, South Paris744-0290 • 1 800 686-7633 • www.creaserjewelers.com

.com

[email protected]

UNCLE ANDY’S DIGESTThe Most Unusual Digest in America

1200 Minot Ave., Auburn • 783-7126

ELECTRICAL SYSTEMS OF MAINEELECTRICAL CONTRACTORS

PARKING LOT LIGHTING REPAIR & UPGRADES

• Lighting Repairs• Energy Efficient LED & HID Upgrades• New Installation• Ask about Efficiency Maine Incentives

www.electricalsystemsofmaine.com

181 Center St.; Auburn, Maine 04210www.rmsmortgage.com •[email protected]

Residential MortgageService, Inc.

This is not a commitment to lend. Availability dependent upon approved credit and documentation level, acceptable appraisal, and market conditions. Residential Mortgage Services, Inc. is a Maine Corporation Headquartered at 24 Christopher Toppi Drive, South Portland, ME 04106. ME License No. SLM2537

Debbie Bodwell, Vice PresidentNMLS# 280336

777.1551

H Low Fixed RatesH FHA, VA, Rural Development & MSHA Loan ProgramsH Experienced & Local Mortgage ProfessionalsH Close Fast & On ScheduleH Over the Phone Approvals

FIRST TIME HOMEBUYER SPECIALIST

Take the first step to owning your own home

We also offer refinancing

783-7039

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with

Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 20112

Seen on a sign a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."

Stay tuned. I could say something brilliant at any moment. – Uncle Andy

Morning Sickness

Sarah dropped in onher sister Molly andfound her sitting at thekitchen table, staringblankly at a half-emptycup of coffee, her threekids squabbling loudlyin the other room.

"What's wrong, Molly?"she asked.

Molly told her that shehad morning sickness.

Surprised, Sarah said,"Hurray! I didn't evenknow you were pregnant!"

"I'm not," the harriedmiddle-aged motherreplied.

"I'm just sick ofmornings."

786-3731Pelletier’s Karate Academy

I-35 Taylor Hill Road • Lewiston (1-1/2 miles past Marden’s)Email: [email protected] • www.pelletierskarate.com

June 15thFREE Fitness

Kickboxing Clinic7:30-8:30pm • Call to register

Check out our all new website!

www.pelletierskarate.com

June 22FREE Intro to

Karate for KidsCall to register

Summer Campsin July

Call for infoHAPPY

BIRTHDAY!

Don St. Germainturns 73 this month!

Wish the young fella ahappy birthday!!


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 3783-7039

I tried to get a life once, but they were out of stock.

Some people bond. You and I are crazy-glued!

800-561-8506Oxford/Auburn

MODERN WOODMEN OF AMERICA

JUNE 2011Saturday, June 4Crepe/Buffet Breakfast (Chapter 10589)Franco Center, Cedar St. Lewiston7:00am – 10:00am$4/Member $5/Guest

Saturday, June 4Bean Supper (Chapter 12907)Franco Center, Cedar St, Lewiston4:30pm – 6pm $5/Member $6/Guest

Wednesday, June 899 Restaurant (Chapter 8609)650 Center St, Auburn 4pm – 7pm$8/Member $9/Guest

Saturday, June 11Dairy Frost (Chapter 7938)107 Bath Road, Brunswick 4pm – 6pm Members Free $1/Guest

Sunday, June 12Kiwanis Pancake BreakfastFestival Plaza Downtown Auburn7:00am – 11:00am$3/Member $4/Guest

Tuesday, June 14Taber’s (Chapter 12749)Lakeshore Drive, Auburn 4pm – 7pm$4.50 Member $5/Guest

Wednesday, June 22Rolly’s Diner BREAKFAST(Chapter 14346)Mill St, Auburn 7:00am – 10:00am$4/Member $4.50/Guest

Tuesday, June 28Norway Soft Serve (Chapter 10929)Main St, So. Paris 5:30pm – 7:00pm$1/per person

Tuesday, June 28Danny’s on the Mall (Chapter 7938)Main St, Brunswick 4pm –6pm$1/Member $2/Guest

Wednesday, June 29Roy’s Allsteak Hamburgers(Chapter 14437)Center St. Auburn 4pm – 7pm$4.50 per Member $5.50 per Guest

Park Tickets for: Aquaboggan, ComboFun/Splash, Funtown, Splashtown, Water-Country, York Animal KingdomTICKETS ARE LIMITED – NO RETURNS &NO REFUNDS ALLOWEDPlease Note: Prices, Dates and Menu AreSubject To Change. If Additional Info IsNeeded, Please Call Our Office, Please DoNot Call Restaurants. All Activities CanOnly Be Attended At The Times Listed.*****************************Tickets need to be purchased at the Mod-ern Woodmen District Office, 184 WebsterStreet, Lewiston for all activities and canonly be picked up the week prior to the ac-tivity, Monday – Thursday 9am - 4pm andFriday 9am - Noon (excluding Holiday’s).FMI call 782-1833.

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 20114

Commit random acts of kindness.

My mother was a travel agent for guilt trips.

Uncle Andy’s Digestis published by the first

Friday of every month byMaine Mountain Ocean

Group, Inc. with offices at 9 Grove Street, Auburn, ME.

It is distributed free through-out Central Maine and mailed

to subscribers all over theworld. Subscriptions are

$30/year. Send a $30 checkmade out to

Uncle Andy’s Digest to: P.O. Box 3363,

Auburn, ME 04212

Uncle Andy’s

DigestMAILING ADDRESS:

PO Box 3363Auburn, ME 04212

E-MAIL:

[email protected]

PHONE: 207 783-7039FAX: 207 777-3898

www.UncleAndys.com

JUNE 2011

Staff

UNCLE ANDY

Freddy Lynn

JIMBO

Carl Yastrzemski

TRAVIS DOW

Roger Clemens

MAGGIE JOYCE

Ricco Petrocelli

MARTY DOW

Sandy Koufax

Affordable Dentures • Flexible Payment Plans • Credit/Debit CardsMost Dental Insurances Accepted

801 Webster Street, Lewiston

[email protected]

Quality Customized Denture WorkFREE CONSULTATIONS

Smile Again Dentures

Joe & Mike Adkins

Poorly fitting or broken dentures repaired on-site, usually same-day service!

Uncle Andy’s Digestis not responsible for

typographical errors that may occurin advertisements.

Black holes suck.

ON-SITE DRUG TESTING

*All reports are verified by a licensed Private Investigator

MID MAINE DRUG SCREENING & INVESTIGATIONSFull Service Drug Testing Company & Private Investigator

577-6000 • www.MMDRUGSCREENING.com

D.O.T. DrugScreening

$15$20

We also perform hair follicle drug screens, paternity tests, private investigations, tenant screenings & background checks.

Testing can be performed in the privacy of your home or office.

*Call for out-of-area pricing

Available 24-7, 365 days a yearAfter Hours

& Weekends*

Local*

Alcohol Screening$30 Includes

confirmation if necessary


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 5783-7039

I saw Elvis making crop circles.

Just say NO to one-word solutions.

SIDNKSubmitted by Jimbo

During the Air ForceAcademy's basic cadettraining, the newcadets, known asdoolies, go through aten-day encampmentoutdoors. Prior to beingserved in the chowtent, they are requiredto do pullups and thenget in line to answerquestions about theacademy. If they an-swer correctly, they areallowed to proceed in-side. If not, they aresent to the back of theline.

One doolie had beensent back a number oftimes because he did-n't reel off the answers.When the poor cadetcame up again, a sym-pathetic upperclass-man asked him, "Whatdoes the abbreviationS. I. D. N. K. standfor?"

The doolie bowed hishead and replied, "Sir, Ido not know."

"Right!" the upper-classman said. "Go onin there and get somechow!"

One of the Renais-sance's greatest artistsand thinkers, Leonardoda Vinci was born onApril 15, 1452 in Flo-rence, Italy. Besidespainting the "MonaLisa" and "The LastSupper," da Vinci alsodesigned the first parachute.

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 20116

Therapy is expensive. Poppin' bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.

"Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty." – Mark Twain

AUBURN-LEWISTON YMCA • AUBURN (Next to the County Courthouse)

207 795 4095 • www.alymca.org

CAMP CONNOR

SUMMER DAY CAMPSJUNE 20TH - AUGUST 19TH

Y KIDS SUMMER CAMP

Grades 1-8• FREE Transportation• FREE Lunch• FREE Pre & Post Camp Care at the Y

Ages 5-8 Based at the Y• Daily Swim, Outdoor Play & Weekly

Field Trips• Hours: 6:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m.• FREE Lunch

Help send a child to camp!Give to the Y’s Annual Campaign

Donate at www.alymca.org

ARC LIFEGUARD CERTIFICATION COURSEJune 16th-19thWATERFRONT COURSE8:00 - 5:00 p.m. each dayCost: $195 members/$235 non-members

TRIPLE CROWN 5K SERIES• Y FIT FESTSAT. JUNE 11TH• EMILY’S RUNSUN. JULY 24TH

• L/A BRIDGE RUNSUN. AUG. 28THSee ad on page 86

for more details

Out & About atPedro O’Hara’s for

Cinco De Mayo

Pedro’s has a fantastic

atmosphere!

Come to Pedro’s, we’d be happy to serve

you!


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 7783-7039

I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.

6/30/11

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

What is a zebra? 25 sizes larger than an "A" bra.

See store for details

AMESSPORT SHOP, Inc

84 Littlefield Road • Auburn • 782-4917(off Hotel Road & across from Merrow Road)

SHARE OUR PASSION2011

RIDE INTO SPRINGSALES EVENT


Cinco De Mayo

BROS

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 20118

Life is nothing like the brochure.

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.

IRS: Be audit you can be.

Large Salad Subs(ham, chicken, tuna)

$4.59

10˝ 1-Topping Pizza $5.45

Roadies 1-Breast ChickenDinner $3.99

Pricing Programs &System Guard Plans

Now Available...call for details!

“Delivering Comfort you Can Count On”

Toi LindsayToi graduated Summa Cum Laude from Husson Collegewith a Bachelor of Science Degree in Accounting. Allwhile raising two young children and working full timeat Northeast Bank. Traveling many nights to classeswith her mom and dad babysitting her children.

Great job, Toi! Congratulations!!

The Graduate

Send The Husband Shopping

A wife asks her husband, "Could youplease go shopping for me and buy onecarton of milk, and if they have eggs, getsix."

A short time later the husband comesback with six cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why on earth did youbuy six cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had eggs."


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 9783-7039

Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!

Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them.

Lack of money is the root of all Evil.

Weddings, Birthdays, Corporate Functions & More

BARBEQUE & CATERING SERVICE

795-6778 or 577-5523 • www.moosesmobilekitchen.com

Let Moose’s Mobile Kitchenmake your event complete!

Parties from 1 - 200

We modify our abilities tomeet your needs!

Call us and we can create amenu just for you!

M-F 7am-6:30pmWeekends by

appointment only

A tired dog is a happy hound!Interact, run and play with other dogsReceive hands on loving care & supervisionBe more calm & well behaved at home due to less pent up energy

Lisa Poulin & Bruce Bilodeau

Your dog will...

528 Lincoln Street, Lewiston

Fishing Terminology

HOOK - (1) A curvedpiece of metal used tocatch fish. (2) A clever advertise-ment used to lure afisherman to spend hislife's savings on fishingsupplies.(3) The punch adminis-tered by said fisher-man's wife after shelearns what he spenttheir life's savings on.(Usually accompaniedby word "right" or "left.")

Fishing Terminology

LURE - An object thatdangles from the endof your fishing line andis supposed to encour-age fish to bite it. It isthe fisherman's equiva-lent of sports cards,comic books, buttons,lint, and other thingsyou collect that gener-ally have no purpose.

In 1789, the first inau-gural ball was held forPresident GeorgeWashington in NewYork City. Trivia buffs: Itwas not until 1809,however, after the In-auguration of JamesMadison at the Capitolin Washington, D.C.,that the tradition of theinaugural ball began.That night, First LadyDolly Madison hostedthe gala at Long'sHotel. Four hundredtickets sold for $4each.

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201110I wouldn't touch the metric system with a 3.048m pole!

Honk if you love peace and quiet. Out & About atPedro O’Hara’s for

Cinco De MayoI don’t mind

if the world knows my name! I’m

Beth St. Pierre!!

TOGETHER LET’S THINK GREEN AND RECYCLE!

In-stock auto & truck parts15%

OFF

One

coup

on p

er c

usto

mer

MORRIS AUTO PARTS940 Washington St. North • 784-7374 or 800-730-7374 • Mon. - Fri. 8 - 5 • Sat. 8 - 12

Don’s DBA...

RED

UC

E

RE-USE

REC

YC

LE

DON’S NO PREFERENCE TOWING CO.940 Washington St. • Auburn • 784-4619

Ask for Don or Debbie for all your towing needs

Call us if you are broken down.We now offer Roadside Assistance, such as tire changes and lockouts. We carry 60 newNAPA batteries, air compressor, and tools

to fix small problems.


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 11783-7039

New Auburn Business DistrictShop Local

Jennifer KritzerOwner / Stylist

9 Third Street, Auburn

376-4822

Julie DionneStylist

Hours: Monday 10-7; Tuesday 9-5; Thursday 10-7; Friday 9-5;

Saturday 9-3 • Closed Wednesday & Sunday

Men’s Clipper Cut

$10

Women’sWash & Cut

$20

Children’s Wash,Cut & Style

$12SPECIAL SPECIAL SPECIAL

Military, Police& Fire Discounts

New Auburn Social Club7 Second Street, Auburn • 782-9039

United New AuburnAssociation

MeetingLast Tuesday

of June (June 28th)

Fathers (& Mothers!) Day

Steak Dinner SpecialSaturday, June 18th

OUTDOOR EVENT


Cinco De MayoHola

Amigas & Amigos!

Don’t forget thelassies & lads, too!

Join the fiesta everyday at

Pedro O’Hara’s.

22 Mill St., New Auburn • 782-3150 • Open daily 9am-6pmWe ship anywhere

in the US

“If we wereany fresheryou’d haveto slap us!”

Includes: 1-1/8th lb. Lobster1 lb. Clams

LOBSTER & CLAM BAKE$15

All cooked!Always Fresh

LaRochelle’sSeafood

HAPPY FATHER’S

DAYto all the dads

out there!

1 Ear of Corn2 Red PotatoesSide of butter

(Please call one hour before pickup)

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201112


120 Mill St., Auburn • 784-5779 or 1-800-439-WIPE • GoodmanWiper.com

Towels, Tissues& Dispensers

Breakroom & Food Service Skin Care Packaging

Janitorial Supplies& Can Liners

Textile & Paper Wipes

Sorbents & Safety Supplies

Chemicals & Cleaners

NEXT DAYDELIVERY

IN L/A!

When I was a child I was told anyone could become President. I'm beginning to believe it.

Mon – Sat 5 am – 2 pm Sunday 7 am – noon

87 Mill St.New Auburn753-0171

(for take-out)

• Unusual Omelettes• Crepes• Breakfast All Day• Extensive Menu

Breakfast & Lunch Specials Daily

Just good cookin’ and plenty of it!

Rolly’s Diner

“Peanut” & Judy Ellis

This is our first time here.

Rolly’s came highly recommended by friends &

relatives!

ShipwreckedSubmitted by Jimbo

One day a man decidedto retire... He bookedhimself on a Caribbeancruise and proceeded tohave the time of his life,that is, until the shipsank.

He soon found himselfon an island with noother people, no sup-plies, nothing, only ba-nanas and coconuts.After about four months,he is lying on the beachone day when the mostgorgeous woman he hasever seen rows up to theshore.

In disbelief, he asks,"Where did you comefrom? How did you gethere?"

She replies, "I rowedover from the other sideof the island where Ilanded when my cruiseship sank."

"Amazing," he notes."You were really lucky tohave a row boat washup with you."

"Oh, this thing?" ex-plains the woman. "Imade the boat out ofsome raw material Ifound on the island.

The oars were whittledfrom gum tree branches.I wove the bottom frompalm tree branches, andthe sides and sterncame from a Eucalyptustree."

"But, where did you getthe tools?"

"Oh, that was no (continued on next page)


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 13783-7039


WOW! Don’t spend $18 at thebeauty salon, get your...

Mens & Boys CUTS forAll day – Every day! Walk-ins welcome.

$12Flat Tops - Fades - Mohawks - Mens & Boys Regular Cuts

Marcel’sBarber Shop

54 Mill Street, New Auburn

783-3444OPEN: Tues-Fri 7:30am - 5:30pm;

Sat 7:30am - 2pm

85 Third St., Auburn • 753-1177 • www.varsitylettering.comScreenprinting and Embroidery

Brand New Line of Promotional Products

Mugs • Calendars • Pens • Wine Glasses • Beer Mugs, Etc.

Ask for our new catalog. Best prices anywhere!

problem," replied thewoman. "On the southside of the island, a veryunusual stratum of allu-vial rock is exposed. Ifound that if I fired it to acertain temperature inmy kiln, it melted intoductile iron I used that to make tools and usedthe tools to make the hardware."

The guy is stunned.

"Let's row over to myplace," she says. So,after a short time of row-ing, she soon docks theboat at a small wharf.As the man looks toshore, he nearly falls offthe boat. Before him is along stone walk leadingto an cabin and tree-house.

While the woman ties up the rowboat with anexpertly woven hemprope, the man can onlystare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walk intothe house, she says casually, "It's not much,but I call it home. Sitdown, please."

"Would you like a drink?"

"No! No thank you," theman blurts out, stilldazed. "I can't take an-other drop of coconutjuice."

"It's not coconut juice,"winks the woman. "Ihave a still. How wouldyou like a TropicalSpritz?"

Trying to hide his contin-ued amazement, theman accepts, and theysit down on her couch totalk.

(continued from previous page)

(continued on page 15)

HOURS: Tues. & Wed. 10am-8pmThurs. & Fri.10am-Close • Sat. 8am-Close

47 Broad Street, Auburn • 782-9044 Every Saturday “Love at first bite!”

Andy’s Baked Bean Specials…Don’t Miss Out!

HOME COOKED FOOD EVERY DAYPool • Darts

Large Screen TV

Tyler Raymond18th Birthday June 30th!

$1.00OFF

Large BakedBean Special

Beans, Coleslaw, BreadExpires 6.30.11✄

✄

Andy’s still has the best-tasting cheese

burger around!

ANDY’s Baked Beans & Tavern

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201114A fool and his money are soon partying.

How can I be overdrawn? I still have checks left.

Government policy: If it ain't broke, we'll fix it until it is.

Quality Service at an Affordable Price

250 Broad Street in New Auburn • 783-4933 • www.majorauto.netMAJOR AUTOMOTIVENEW

By Appointment OnlyWith Coupon Only

Expires 6-30-11

A/C RECHARGE

$129.95(Reg. $169.95)

Most Vehicles - With Coupon OnlyExpires 6-30-11

ALIGNMENT CHECK

Out & About atBruno's 49th

Birthday & Rites of Spring Party at Irish TwinsThe Birthday Boy!

BrunoSmith

My friends are the bestest! Jim’s AUTO SALES

www.JimsAutoSales.com

1097 Center St., Auburn • 784-54381-800-289-5467 Ask for Dave

Over 60 vehicles to choose from starting at $3,800 online at:

TWO GREAT RIDES!2007 Toyota

TacomaDouble Cab, 4WD, V6, SR5.

$17,600

2003 Chevy Impala

$7,800

SUPERSHARP! 66K

Derek Albert


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 15783-7039

I was happier than a kitten with a Q-tip.

I was more nervous than a ceiling fan storeowner with a comb-over.

Lifetime Warranty • Free EstimatesFree Pickup and Delivery

After they exchangetheir individual survivalstories, the woman an-nounces, "I'm going toslip into something morecomfortable. Would youlike to take a shower andshave? There's a razorin the bathroom cabinetupstairs."

No longer questioninganything, the man goesupstairs into the bath-room. There, in the cabi-net is a razor made froma piece of tortoise bone.Two shells honed to ahollow ground edge arefastened on to its end in-side a swivel mecha-nism.

"This woman is amaz-ing," he muses. "What'snext?" When he returns,she greets him wearingnothing but some smallflowers on tiny vines,each strategically posi-tioned, she smelledfaintly of gardenias.

She then beckons forhim to sit down next toher.

"Tell me," she beginssuggestively, slitheringcloser to him, "We'veboth been out here formany months. You musthave been lonely.There's something I'mcertain you feel likedoing right now, some-thing you've been long-ing for, right?" Shestares into his eyes.

He can't believe whathe's hearing. "Youmean..." he swallows ex-citedly as tears start toform in his eyes, "You'vebuilt a golf course?"

(continued from page 13)

Who’s ready for some

sun?

Mike Morin’s Auto Center

“A proud member of the Napa Auto Care Team.”

1122 Center St., Auburn • 753-0433

2-Wheel Alignment $65.954-Wheel Alignment $72.95

June Special

Summer is here! It’s time to start thinking

about a complete A/C performance check!

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201116Success covers a multitude of blunders.

To err is human. To forgive is against company policy.Out ’n Aboutin Bonaire

Photos submitted by Barclay’s Skindivers Paradise

Bryan & FrancineFletcher

Claire Barclay &Lorraine Poirier

Dennis Poirier & Chris Barclay

Lenin wasnʼt Leninʼsreal name. It was oneof 151 pseudonymsVladimir Ilyich Ulanovused during his life-time.


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 17783-7039

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on "escape."

If at first you don't succeed, see if the loser gets anything.

Out ’n Aboutin Bonaire


Joe & Linda Bolduc

Marc Robichaud

Sarah Poirier

Sometimes thinking inside thebox is pretty good,

too.

Why do people always refer to boxes

when it comes to thinking?

We’re thinking outside the box when

we say we need to vacation more!

❦ Huge Wine Selection❦ Freshly Baked Breads❦ Freshly Made Pastries & Donuts❦ Fresh Home Made Fudge❦ Large Cheese Selection❦ Wine Tasting Events

Farm Stand Now Open Fresh Produce • Jams • Jellies

Maple Syrup • Ciders ...and more

72 Lisbon Road • Lisbon, Mainewww.benoitsbakery.com

Opening Soon

&

Bakery

WineCellar

Register for our E-News for updates on events & specialsonline at www.benoitsbakery.com

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201118You have the capacity to learn a lot from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today.

Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with the software.

Morrison & Sylvester1175 Minot Ave.

Auburn, ME 04210

783-8548 • www.morrisontruck.net

PARTS • SALES • SERVICE

WE FEATURE: • Service For All Makes • Parts For All Makes

• Sales of New International Trucks• Sales Of Used Trucks Of All Makes


Cinco De Mayo

Hey, I saw a picture of you shaking

Bob Hope’s hand.

Forget Bob Hope, this picture with you is the one people will be talking about for

years to come...


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 19783-7039 Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

It's been one of those days--all week.

Rt. 4, just past Lake Auburn

www.roysgolf.com

THE BEST HAMBURGERS AROUND!MADE WITH FRESH GRADE-A STEAK, CUT & GROUND DAILY

FeaturingT-Shirts • 50/50 Raffle • Prizes • Give-Aways Got a hot ride? Show it off at Roy’s!

Digging

Two women archeolo-gists are down in Mex-ico excavating anancient Mayan burialground looking forsome remains to takeback to their museum.Unfortunately, every-thing they run across isbadly decomposed.

One of the womensays, "We don't seemto be having much luckhere, are we?"

The other replies, "Justkeep on digging,honey, a good Mayanis hard to find!"

In 1985, Coca-Colaannounced it waschanging the secretformula for Coke andcreating a New Coke.The American public'sreaction to the changewas poor, and Coca-Cola executives an-nounced the returnof the original formulaon July 10, less thanthree months after NewCoke's introduction.

In 1884, ThomasStevens started a bicycle trip around theworld. The trip took him over two years and nine months tocomplete!

It was FriedrichFroebel who began thefirst kindergarten in1837 in Blankenburg,Germany. The firstkindergarten in a publicschool in the U.S. wasstarted in St. Louis,Missouri, in 1873.

EVERY TUESDAY5:30pm – 8:00pm 5:30pm – 8:00pm

Batting Cages

Driving Range

18-holeMini Golf

&&GOLF CENTER

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201120Is reading in the bathroom considered multi-tasking?

DR. MICHAEL METAYER, O.D.

Auburn Mall Eye Care550 Center Street, Auburn (inside the Auburn Mall)

(207) 782-5030

Eye Exams & Contact Lenses!

for the whole family

According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.

KEEP COOL! GET YOUR A/C RECHARGED NOW!

$1 OFF Any CutWalk-ins welcome

Men’s, Women’s & Children’s(Reg. $10)

That Little Barber Shop

Cosmetologist Brittany Legare

9 Acadia Ave., Lewiston (off Lisbon St.)312-5478

Hours: Tues, Thurs, Fri. 9am-5pm • Wed. & Sat. 8am-noon

SAM’S BODY SHOP

886 Main St. Lewiston • 784-0015 • Open Mon. Wed. Fri. 8:00-4:00

Custom Trailer HitchesSold & InstalledTrailer Repairs

THE SHOP AUTO SERVICEAND CLASSIC CAR RESTORATION

Mike Smith, owner

304 Lisbon St., Lisbon • 353-6100www.theshopclassicrestoration.net

[email protected]

FOR SALEFully restored 1972 Toyota FJ Land Cruiser

CALL FOR PRICE

1 S. Main St., Suite 2, Mechanic Falls (next to Sheila’s Hair Salon)345-9161 • [email protected]

✂

Custom Machine Embroidery

WOW! Keep your dog safe!Custom-made collars with name

and phone # embroidered.Never worry again!

$19.95with coupon • expires 6/30/11 ✂

Regal 233xl for sale... New carpets, mooringcover, full head, refrigera-tor, aft cabin, cd player,dock lines, fenders,20amp service with 50foot cable, runs great andis fully winterized.

BOAT FOR SALE

$10,000 obo call 376-5003

FULL SERVICE HARLEY MOTORCYCLE SHOP

State of MaineInspection

Station

We work on Shovelheads, Sportsters &older bikes

www.v-shop.us

CALL FOR Tire Appointments, Oil Change,

Stage 1 Kits, Brakes & More

V-ROD & ROAD RODSBUILT & SERVICED

140 Riverside DriveAuburn, Maine 04210

email: [email protected]

207-782-9400


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 21783-7039 Of course I don't look busy. I did it right the first time.

The buck doesn't even slow down here.

Just when you think you've won the rat race, along come faster rats.

• Wheel alignment & balancing • Complete brake work • Engine tune-up• Lube-oil-filter • State Inspections • Exhaust systems

FAMILY OWNED & OPERATED FOR 27 YEARS

60 Minot Ave • Auburn, ME 04210782-6666 or 783-2026

CAMERON TIRE & SERVICE, INC.

A PROUD MEMBER OF THENAPA AUTO CARE TEAM

OUR TIRES

$55 Value

Buy 4 New TiresReceive Front End

Alignment

FREE

JUNE SPECIAL

MARK of EXCELLENCEAWARD WINNER EMERSON

CHEVROLET BUICK

“Thank you for 32 years in the carbusiness. I am now back at Emersonwhere I started. Stop in and say “hi”

and let me help you save somemoney and find a nice ride!”

946 Center Street • Auburn • 784-3503

RICH TREMBLAY


Cinco De Mayo

You have tobe carefulnowadays!

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201122Can I trade this job for what's behind Door #2?

Is there life before coffee?Out ’n Aboutin Bonaire


Cindy MacDonald& Wendy Gallant

Scuba Sistaʼs

If we’ve told you one,we’ve told you a million

times Uncle Andy’s is read everywhere!

Highly educatedscuba divers

DO NOT TRY THIS WITHOUTPROPER TRAINING!


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 23783-7039 You can't fire me. Slaves have to be sold.

The trouble with work is...it's so daily.

144 Riverside Dr., Auburn

Brad Johnson

Any Make, Any ModelAny Problem…

Fully Warranteed & CertifiedBrad’s Precision Auto 333-0364

NO PROBLEM!

$55/hr. LABOR RATE

Appointments Required, Please call first

QUALITY REPAIRS SINCE 1979CARS • LT. TRUCKS • SUVs – We service them all

“The 2010 AAA Approved Repair Facility of the Year!”With 100% Customer Satisfaction!!

HORSEPOWER AUTOCARE, INC.44 Roosevelt Trail, Rt. 302 • Windham • 892-9420 • 1-800-339-9420

Monday - Friday 8am-5pm • www.horsepowerautocare.com

3 Master ASETechniciansBob, Steve

& John

Selected


Cinco De Mayo

I asked my mailmanwhy my letters were allwet.

He said "postage dew".

www.soundeffectsmaine.com Scott Feldman

Next to Republic Jewelry & parking in back of building

NOW LOCATED AT:

216 Center Street, Auburn • 777-3339

If you roll your window down and

crank your tunes and itdoesn’t sound good...

CALL ME!

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201124

Mondays are the potholes in the road of life.

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

The Back FortyOut ’n About at

Smile Again Dentures in Lewiston

Joe AdkinsLicensed Denturist

When people come to us they

usually need somethingfixed...

They always leave with a smile,

sort of like this set ofdentures here...

David McConnellstarted the CaliforniaPerfume Company(CPC) in 1886. Todaythe company is knownas Avon, which henamed after his fa-vorite playwrightWilliam Shakespeare,and Stratford on Avon.


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 25783-7039

When the blind leadeth the blind, get out of their way.

Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

y June Specials

990 Center Street, Auburn • 784-1348

Out ’n About atSmile Again

Dentures in Lewiston

Jack Downey

Making dentures is an art form

within itself...

I heard Uncle Andy’s was coming today, so Idressed up just for

the occasion!

Baseball umpires wantsalary hikes. The response from theowners is, "Yikes! Can't afford increasedpay." So the union does say, "Then our recourse iscalling more strikes."

– Kirk Miller

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201126There's nothing like a little experience to upset a theory.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Our customer RewardCards are here.

We know how loyal ourcustomers are and wewant to show our appre-ciation. Now when youcome into Heidiʼs Brooklyn Deli in Auburn,just swipe your RewardCard and earn dollarsoff your future purchases!

Reward cards canalso be used as a pay-ment or gift card. Justload money onto yourcard. You can pay foryour purchase and earn rewards all in onetransaction. Now thatʼsconvenient!

Heidiʼs is located at600 Turner Street inAuburn. Call us at 784-3434. Check us out on-line atwww.heidisauburn.comCome check out ourpatio - a great place toenjoy lunch! See our adon page 36.

"Whatever you do, youneed courage. What-ever course you decideupon, there is alwayssomeone to tell youthat you are wrong.There are always diffi-culties arising thattempt you to believeyour critics are right."

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

2002 Chevy Tahoe

1298 Sabattus St. Lewistonwww.independentauto.me

Other Inventory

786-7744

$9,000

2003 Mini Cooper

Green, manual, one-owner

2001 BMW 2005 Subaru Forester 2.5XT

$8,495

$10,495 $9,995

5.3L, Spare Stock Tires, 26” Rims, TV’s

05 Pontiac Grand Prix, 89k, Silver ..................................$849505 Nissan Sentra, Auto, CD...............................................$579504 Jeep Grand Cherokee, 4.0L 4x4 ................................$749504 Hyundai Elantra GLS, 84k, Auto ................................$549503 Audi A4, Turbo, Black...................................................$649503 VW Beetle GLS, Blue, 91k, 5-Sp, 2-tone Lthr, 17" Alloys ......$649503 VW Passat, Green..........................................................$777503 Mercedes S500, Loaded, 82k..................................$18,00003 Saab 9-3 Convertible, 88K, Loaded .........................$6,99503 Dodge Neon, 86k .........................................................$499503 Infinity QX4, Auto, 4WD, V6.......................................$849503 Volvo S60, AWD, Tan ...................................................$699502 Jeep Liberty, 3.7L, Black ..............................................$549502 Nissan Xterra, Green....................................................$789502 Saab 9-5 Aero, Silver, Black Leather, Auto .............$599502 Ford F250, 73k, Auto, 4x4, ......................................$1299502 VW GTI, Silver ...............................................................$599502 VW Passat, 99K, Grey..................................................$700001 VW GTI, Green...............................................................$649501 Audi A4 1.8T, Silver ......................................................$5495

01 Audi A4 2.8L, Manual, AWD.......................................$649501 Jeep Grand Cherokee, 4x4, Blue................................$599500 VW Passat, Turbo, Black..............................................$549500 Cadillac Escalade, Pewter, Loaded, 102k .................$599599 Saab 9-3, 108k, White, Convertible..........................$499589 Chevy Corvette, 52k, Black.......................................$1050005 Pontiac Montana, Minivan, Extended, Loaded, 86k ......$749504 Pontiac Vibe GT, 6-Speed, Alloys, Loaded................$749503 Honda Element EX, Loaded, AW, Manual.................$877598-01 Audi Parts..............................................................Call FMI94 Dodge Intrepid AS IS....................................................$200083 Mercedes 380SL Roadster, 2Door, 114k, V8, Auto .$10,495

3-Series, Black, Loaded

INDEPENDENTAutoTim Bellmore

AWD, Auto, 1-Owner


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 27783-7039 He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit.

Available at:

www.maine-lyaction.com

Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape. Out ’n About atSmile Again


With planning, denture corrections can often be done

in just one day.

Bea Levasseur

Unlike Jack on page 25, I had no

idea I was going to bepart of an “Out ’n

About”!

"Apply yourself bothnow and in the nextlife. Without effort,you cannot be prosper-ous. Though the landbe good, you cannothave an abundant cropwithout cultivation."

– Plato

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201128PB4WEGO.

I live so far in the country my zip is EIEIO.

www.donovansauto.com946-7515 • 1-800-811-8856

To view the complete inventory of 50 vehicles, visit our website

Out & About with the Healthy Androscoggin Work Healthy

Award Winners

Central Maine Orthopedics receives theirplaque from State Senator Margaret Craven

Erin Guay, HA & Joy Harvey, representing Androscoggin Bank

The Healthy Androscoggin Staff

Hillary Eaton of Austin Associates & Jill Brayman of CMMC;

HA Work Healthy Panelists at the Chamber. Each discussed different steps they have taken to

encourage a healthier workplace & staff.


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 29783-7039 Welcome to Wisconsin. Smell our Dairy Air.

Uncle Andy always gives 100% at work: 12% Mon. 23% Tues. 40% Wed. 20% Thurs. 5% Fri.

2003 Ford F250 SuperdutyReg. Cab, 4X4, V10, 84k

Racing Go CartRacetrack Approved, New Motor

1994 Chevy Rack Body2WD, 6.5 Diesel, 87K

$10,500 $8,500$900

www.MandPautosales.com

2007 Chevy Equinox90K, AWD, Loaded, Leather

2006 Dodge Caravan40K, Runs Good

1997 Ford F150Reg. Cab, 4X4, 114K

$11,500 $5,500$7,995

M & P AUTO SALESRoosevelt Trail, North Windham • Call Scott Rioux at 892-0932 or 754-4867

UP TO 45 MPH

Kelsie-Mae RiouxGraduates June 10th from Brunswick HighSchool with high honors while maintaining2 jobs as a CNA at Brentwood Rehabilita-tion and Sunnybrook Village. She is college-bound in the fall and will attendSouthern Maine Community College. She

will major in behavioral health.

Proud parents are Scott and Lori Rioux

2000 Chevy 6500 Car Carrier,6-Speed, Diesel . . . .$17,995

1994 Chevy 3500 Rack Body, No Dump, Diesel . . . .$8,500

1998 Chevy 1.2 Ton, 4WD,Short Box, 120K, 7½' MinuteMount Plow, Black. 4 BrandNew Studded Tires . . .$4,500

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201130

Jimbo to Uncle Andy: It's time to pull over and change the air in your head.

Aliens have examined my internal organs. – Uncle Andy

I want it all and I want it delivered.

SHEILA’SHAIR SALON

Hours: Tues. - Fri. 9am-7pm • Sat. 9-25 South Main Street, Mechanic Falls

NicoleSheilaAngela

Customer Appreciation DayTues. July 5th and Thurs. July 7th ONLY!

50% OFFALL CUTS

Make your appointment now!

PRODUCTSBuy one get

50% Off anotherEVERYTHING

in the Salon!July 5th & July 7th We appreciate

your business!

MenReg. $14

Now $7

WomenReg. $27

Now $1350

ChildrenReg. $10

Now $5(spray cut only)

345-3819



We do full dentures, rebases, relines & repairs.

Lori Stuart

John Bonneau

I may not be sitting on

the dock of the bay, but I’m standing on my newly installed dock.

Thanks, guys!

Our pleasure!


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 31783-7039

It's not easy being right all the time.

Sarcasm is just one service we offer.

Saturday, June 25thFun filled activities for the whole family!

Pottle Hill Road Race

Arts & Craft Vendors

The Horribles Parade

Antique Car Show

Fair Food & Games

Library Book Sale

Chicken BBQ

Touch-A-Truck

One-Pitch Softball

And much, much more!

Horribles & Non-Mechanized Vehicles Parade

Saturday @ 11:30 AM

Pleasant Street to American Legion

Downtown Mechanic FallsFor more info: Call 345-2871

or find Mechanic Falls Community Day on Facebook

PRIZESAWARDED

There is the Law of Gravityand then, thereis the Law of Parenthood

1) A child's behaviorwill improve in propor-tion to the distance he or she is away fromthe parent.

2) Two is equal to two,except when referringto time. Two minutes oftantrum lasts 20 timesas long as two minutesof quiet time.

3) The choice of apreschooler's bestfriend corresponds directly to the distancethe friend lives fromyour house.

4) A child's enjoymentof a popular entertain-ment will be inverselyproportionate to theparent's enjoyment.

5) The chance of a surprise visit by yourparents-in-law is di-rectly proportional tothe size of the mess inyour home.

6) A child will alwayseat exactly what shehas loved for the pastyear unless it is theonly food in the fridge.

7) The ease with whicha toddler acquires theability to say a word increases with its likeli-hood to embarrass asailor.

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201132

Don't let your mind wander. It's too small to be out by itself.

Vegetarian: Indian word for "lousy hunter."

Rates as low as 2.75%*Stop by and apply today!

Great FallsFederal Credit Union

34 Bates Street, Lewiston • 782-7192760 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 753-0500

www.greatfallsfcu.com*Member eligibility required, qualifications & restrictions may apply, no in-house refinancing, annual percentage rate.**Most cases.

INSTANT APPROVALS!**

Hire a teenager while they still know it all.



We use quality materials to provide

durability and long-lasting wear.

Jeff Blackburn

Craig Cook

I’m wearing this mask to block

Jimbo’s bad breath...

A chemist walks into apharmacy and says,"Do you have anyacetylsalicylic acid?"The pharmacist asks,"You mean aspirin?""That's it, I can neverremember the word."


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 33783-7039

Heck is where people go who don't believe in Gosh.

Meandering to a different drummer.

272 South Main St. Auburn • www.deepseacreations.com • 1-888-782-4372 • 782-4372

Marine Fish • Coral • SuppliesMarine Fish • Coral • Supplies

Tropica l HarmonyAll your salt water tank

needs right here!

Get your snacks &ice cold beer herebefore hitting thearea golf courses!

"Helping the environmentone job at a time"

Call us for a free quote to clean your business

K+L GREEN CLEAN, INC577-8725

Look for this K+L decal at local businesses in L-ACheck us out online at:

KandLGreenClean.comWe get you

clean and stay green!

Check us out online at:

KandLGreenClean.com

Lauren & Kristie, owners

740 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 783-2981Hours: Mon-Sun 5am-9pm • www.mygeorgios.com

THINGS ARE HEATING UP AT GEORGIO’S!

Signs of SummerMilkshakes are back

Pasta SaladPolar Shock

Outside Seating

Home ofthe U.F.O.



No one told me thatUncle Andy’s was doing

an exposé on us...

Jen Paré

Joe AdkinsLicensed Denturist

Who has two thumbs up and lovesUncle Andy’s Digest?

This guy!

Fishing Terminology

TACKLE - What yourlast catch did to youright after you broughthim into the boat andright before he jumpedback overboard.

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201134

I plead contemporary insanity.

Cancer cures smoking.

Shane Lacasse, Deanna Groves & Peter Michalak

15 Pierce Street, Auburn

WE PAY YOU!Maine’s Most Trusted Recycler

Automobile Batteries ...................................................$9*Alloy Rims ...........................................................$16 each*Catalytic Converters ...............................from $8 to $260*Starters/Alternators...........................................$4 each*Computer Green Board Scraps .........................$1.80/lb.*

Copper, Brass, Aluminum, Insulated Wire, Electric Motors, Radiators, Transmissions*Prices subject to change to market conditions

NEW LOCATION!Across from Maine Oxy. Two driveways down

from Doggz Inn in Auburn.

615-7057795-8887


Cinco De Mayo

Pedro’s is a great place to enjoy a mealwith your kids, too!

Fishing Terminology

ROD - An attractively-painted length of fiber-glass that keeps anangler from ever get-ting too close to a fish.


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 35783-7039

Do not follow, for I may not lead. Do not lead, for I may not follow. Just go over there somewhere, please?

I live in California, and my watch is three hours fast, I can't fix it,

so I'm moving to New York.

Upcoming EventsFri. June 3rd

PORCH PARTYFireworks, BBQ, $1 Drafts,

Live Music from the New L-A Harley Band

Sat. June 4thANNUAL DYNO-SHOOTOUT Cash Prizes & Trophies

Sat. June 11thDOGS FROM AROUND THE WORLD

Sample unique hot dog creations.

Live music by The Veggies

Sat. June 18th VERTICAL OUTLAWS STUNT SHOW

$1 Drafts & Food Specials

Sat. June 25thBLESSING OF THE BIKESin Coburn, NH

Sat. July 2nd: FAMILY DAY Bounce House, Clowns & Face Painting

Upcoming Events

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201136

Allow me to introduce myselves.

A PBS mind in an MTV world.

CHECK OUT www.secondchanceboxer.com

9 South Main Street Mechanic Falls, ME • (207) 345-8711 • 1-800-339-0414

AUTOS • HOMEOWNERS

MOTORCYCLES • BUSINESS

THE CUMMINGS AGENCY, INC. INSURANCE

Jeffrey R. Cummings • Nora W. Cummings

Nes

sie

Port

er

Boo

Dog gonnit…

We want your business!

Complete Auto & Truck Repair• Front End Alignments• Engine Diagnostics• Custom Exhaust• Tires, Batteries

10% OFFwith this ad

Ron Moon,Manager

35 Lewiston Rd. • Gray, ME 04039

• Transmission Flush• State Inspections• Complete Front End Work• Tune-ups

207-657-5000

HOURS: Mon.-Sat. 7am-9pm; Sun. 10am-8pm

June Special

$1 OFFCajun Turkey

with avocado*

600 Turner Street, Auburn

784-3434www.heidisauburn.com

includes choice of potato salad, cole slaw or chips & a pickle

*full size sandwich

LOCALLY OWNED AND OPERATED

Dine on our outdoor patioBeer & Wine available

Breakfast served all day!

Ask about our new REWARDS CARD!


Cinco De Mayo

El Broad Street Band with Maria y José

Things Not ToSay On A Date

Could you excuse me?My cat gets lonely if hedoesn't hear my voiceon the answering ma-chine every hour.

THURSDAYSLine Dancing Lessons 6pmKaraoke 8pmBeer Pong Sign-ups 9pmAction packed Thursdayswith DJ B-Set at 9:30pm

FRIDAYSLADIES NightDrink SpecialsDJ & Live Local Entertainment

SATURDAYSDJ & your favorites in Tribute Bands, Comedy Acts & More!

ENTERTAINMENT LINE-UP

FRIDAYS &

SATURDAYS

ALWAYS A DJ

IN THE PUB !

Sat. June 4th Dead Season CD Release PartyAll ages, Doors open @ 8pm, Tickets on sale at Bullmoose

Sat. June 18th Dogpile - Classic Rock

Fri. June 24th Never Trust & Guests - Hard Rock

Sat. June 25th Hip Hop Show, featuring Sandbag & guests

Sat. July 2nd Firewater Creek

150 Center St. Auburn • 784-7785 • ClubTexas.info

Don’t miss the

CD Release Party June 4th for

Dead Season’s “The Negative NUMBers”

THE

ENTERTAINMENT

CAPITAL OF

CENTRAL

MAINE !

If you can read this, thank a teacher.

That was Zen. This is Tao.

Mike AdkinsLicensed Denturist

Jimbo, I used to kick your butt all over the racquetballcourt... keep taking

pictures and you’ll see a new form of butt kicking!

Watch and learn people...



"For myself, losing isnot coming second. It'sgetting out of the waterknowing you couldhave done better. Formyself, I have wonevery race I've beenin."

– Ian Thorpe

Bureaucrats cut red tape, lengthwise.

Irish Twins Pub743 Main St., Lewiston • 376-3088 (across from Marden’s)

Hours: Tues.& Wed. 3pm-close • Thurs. & Fri. 11am-close • Sat. 4pm-close

DON’T FORGET... Live Entertainment Every Wednesday thru Saturday

Bike Night 2011Every Wednesday Night • Starts at 6:00pm

$1.50 Drafts • 1/2 price appetizersLive Entertainment & much more!

Every Wednesday - Come check it out!

Friday, June 25th - BEACH PARTYParty starts at 7pm • RAIN OR SHINE Under the tents

Live Music from the Chad Porter Trio

Out ’n About at the Village Innin Auburn

Bobbi Birney, Lori Powell (Mom), Amanda Clapsaddle & Eric Donnell

I love this place!

Great service!

Greatdrinks!!

Greatfood!


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 39783-7039 A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.

Any philosophy that can fit into a nutshell belongs there.

A synonym is a word you use in place of one you can't spell.

Every Saturday at the Lisbon V.F.W.Mouth-watering food, cash bar, door prizes & giveaways

Listen and dance to your favorite hits of the 50s & 60s

Lisbon V.F.W. • 52 Lisbon Rd. in Lisbon

FMI call 689-3591 or 353-5291

email: [email protected]

6pm-11pmOur Sock Hop!House of Lady Debra Presents...

Stump Dr. Love!!Live D.J. ~ Music starts at 7pm

Lunch & DinnerOpen 7 Days a Week

134 Main Street, Lewiston783-6200

Also visit our Brunswick location at One Center St., Brunswick

PEDRO O’ Hara’sIrish • Mexican • American

786-686125 Mary St., Lewiston

Sign up for Summer Drum Lessons!Mention this ad and your

first drum lesson is FREE**with your first month of lessons

Dick Demers

• Guitar • Piano • Bass• Voice • Banjo • Mandolin• Violin • Music theory • Brass & Woodwinds

We also sell and service all types of instruments 134 Main StreetAuburn

Camp of Rock Scholarship*

376-3376

Authorized

Service Center

✭ ✭*Camp is Aug. 8th-19th, directed by Brian Gagnon✭ Apply Today!

www.mainstreetmusiclessons.com

Main St. Music Lessons& Instrument Repair

✭

We are sponsoring

In 1999, 70,000teenagers gathered to-gether in the Silver-dome at Pontiac,Michigan, to sign theAcquire the FireTeenage Bill of Rights.These rights include: 1. We will live withhonor. 2. We willbe honest and tell thetruth. 3. We will takeresponsibility for ouractions. Share this witha special teenager inyour life.

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201140Someday we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

Procrastinate now.Out ’n About onRED DAY at the

Root Cellar

Chris PopeThe Root Cellar

Thank you to everyone at

Keller Williams Mid MaineRealty who came out

to help us on Red Day.

Greg DeCristofaroKW Team Leader

I've always said there's no I inteam... but there is

in my last name! But seriously,

find out what Red Day is by reading

page 41.

I've decided today isthe day I stop procras-tinating. If not todaythen tomorrow, nextweek at the very latest.

– Uncle Andy

The only cage-free facility offering 6,000 sq. ft.of comfortable inside play area in addition to

20,000 sq. ft. of outside play area!

June 25th, 9am - 5pmBBQ at 11am • Drawings & Giveaways for

Daycare and Grooming Services!!

• Blue Buffalo• K-9 Advantix• Lupine• Christine’s K-9 Treats• Planet Dog...and many more!

[email protected]/thedoggzinn

http://thedoggzinn.googlepages.com

Est. 2008


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 41783-7039

Be Alert! The world needs more lerts.

Yawn: an honest opinion openly expressed.

Out ’n About onRED DAY at the

Root CellarWe believe

in putting people first at Keller Williams, whether we're helping

out in the community orworking with a client, we always put their wishes and needs before our own.

Laurie DanforthKW Realtor

Hey Robin, how would you

sum up Red Day in three words?

RENEW,ENERGIZE,DONATE.

Meagan & Robin

Red Day (Renew, Energize and Donate) is recognized nationwideby Keller Williams Associates and it is a day that we step out into thecommunity to do volunteer work for a local organization. Last year we(Keller Williams Mid Maine) painted the insides of three Habitat For Hu-manity houses. This year we picked The Root Cellar and we cleaned theplace up with yard work, trash pick up, sorted tons of donated bags ofclothing, painted two chalkboard walls and prepared food for a bar-beque for the entire neighborhood.

Agents, friends & family of Keller Williams Mid Maine Realty came outto help at The Root Cellar in Lewiston for Keller Williams Annual RedDay Event, which encourages it's associates to "Give where you live"

Residential/Commercial • Camp openings • Garages • RewiringStreet lighting • New construction • Renovations • Generators

Outdoor services • Meter upgrades

Jason DesmaraisMaster Electrician

740-2888Licensed & Insured

www.LuiggisPizzeria.comSince 1953

MONDAYThe Fergy

sm. $2.50/lg. $5.00

TUESDAYMeatball Subs

sm. $3.20/lg. $6.00

WEDNESDAYSpaghetti Dinners

1 meatball, salad,

garlic bread, drink $4.50

THURSDAYMini Pizza

1 Top $2.60/2 Top $3.30

FRIDAY$1.00 OFF

Any Large Pizza

SATURDAY2 Ham or Salami

Italianswith 1.5 Liter Drink $5.99

EVERY DAY: Regular Pizza with Drink $4.99

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201142Myth: a female moth.

Mosquito: an insect that makes you like flies better.

Knights of ColumbusMORE GAMES • MORE PRIZES • MORE WINNERS

150 East Ave., Lewiston • 782-9265

EVERY

WEDNESDAY

6:30PM

DOORS

OPEN AT

3:00PM

Up to 48 Cards for $10Sealed Tickets • W.T.A. • 50/50 Prizes

Canteen • New Friendly Staff

Christine Emily

studio for hair, nails & massage20 Coburn Street, Auburn • 782-9009

(Off Center St., across from D’Angelos)Open Monday-Saturday

• Cuts & Styles• Colors• Highlights

Micaela

www.panachehairandnailstudio.com

Look your best at the beach!Daniel Michelle Jen Cindy Elizabeth Lynn

• Extensions• Perms• Formaldahyde-free

Hair Relaxing• Wedding & Prom Styles• Manicures & Pedicures

• Shellac Nails• Acrylic Nails• Facial & Body Waxing• Massage Services• Make-up ApplicationComing soon... Facials!

Our Services:

Logical Math

A mathematics professor poses the following problem to one of his classes: “A wealthy man dies and leaves 10 million dollars. One-fifth is to go to hisdaughter, one-fifth to his son, one-sixth to his brother, and the rest to his wife. Now, what does each get?”

After a very long silence, a student raises his hand and replies, “A lawyer?”

John was furious when his steakarrived too rare.

"Waiter," he shouted, "Didn't youhear me say 'well done'?"

"I can't thank you enough, sir,"replied the waiter. "I hardly everget a compliment."

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201144

Innuendo: Italian suppository.

Quantum mechanics: the dreams stuff is made of.

120 Center Street, Auburn

784-9900www.AuburnGoinPostal.com

We can ship anything... Anywhere!(well, almost anything)

• UPS, FedEx & DHL shipping• Packaging Services• eBay• Mailboxes and more!

PAYROLLMANAGEMENT, INC.

We want to be the easiestpart of your week!

783-6880 or 800-734-6880 • www.payrollmgt.com

Your local option for outsourcing your payroll...Payroll Management has been serving the payroll needs for small and midsize companies since 1989.

100 Manley Road, Auburn

Out & About with the Healthy Androscoggin

Work Healthy Award Winners

Hillary Eaton receives the Work Healthy plaque onbehalf of Austin Associates

Jill Brayman, CMMC; Kate Callahan, HA& State Senator Craven

Brian Dubois of The Y in Auburn & Kate Callahan, HA

Rose Pelletier of Rose's Cleaning & Kate Callahan, HA


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 45783-7039

There's no place like http://www.home.com

Hermits unite!

481 Maine St. • Poland Spring, MaineJoseph Cimino • Roger [email protected]

207-998-2806207-576-9535207-576-1553

SUMMER SPECIAL

Child’s Heating Service345-3083

www.childsheatingserviceinc.com

Tune-Up Time Clean your furnace at affordable rates!

$120*

Labor & parts included*most units

Oil • Gas • Solid FuelNew homes • Replacement equipment & repairs

Avoid costly repairs with our tune-ups!Multi-unit Discounts • FREE Estimates

24 hour emergency service • Call 615-6391

10th year in

business!

Expert Custom Framing!Quality Personal Service!!

Along with the best selection offrames and mats for prints, pictures

or keepsakes.

23 Cross Street, Auburn • 786-4333www.DandRFraming.com Dan Williams, owner

Framing Made SimpleMetal Frame(silver, black

or gold)

Regular Glass

Foam CoreBacking

8x10 .............................$1016x20 ...........................$2020x24 ...........................$3024x36 ...........................$40

Affordable, everyday pricing,

just for you!

Out ’n About at KC Bingo

at the Knights ofColumbus in

Lewiston

It’s true, we take our BINGO

pretty seriously. You’relooking at our game

faces right now!

B-I-N-G-O is not my name-o. But

I sure do enjoy winningthe cash prizes!

This game takes total focus.

I can’t even stop to look at the camera...

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

96 Sabattus Road, Sabattus 375-7100

We buy and sell gently usedchildren’s items!

Clothing, toys, furnitureand everything in between!

Newborn thru Kids sizes

$5 OFFYour $25 purchase!

Must present coupon or mention ad • Expires 6/30/11

Kids Love Our ClothesMoms Love Our Prices

Frequent Shoppers Program enables you to save

even more SHOP MORE $AVE MORE!

Ask us how!!

I used to contain myself, but I escaped.

I used to smoke. Now I just smolder.


Root CellarI thoroughly

enjoyed Red Day, and to give where I live,

really made this a fulfilling experience. I encourageothers to do the same,

it’s good for your soul.

Jan JacquesKW Realtor

I'm not in the witness

protection program, I just prefer volunteering anonymously, by the waythis picture isn't going to be seen by anyone

is it?

AnonymouslySpeaking

Lately the bank hasbeen charging memaintenance fees. So Iwent to the bank andasked them, “Why, haveyou been coming overto do my housework?”

Submitted anonymously

(front) Willy Kannegieser(back) Kristin Kannegieser, Donna

Giroux & Marc Kannegieser

Some say my 6 handicap is impressive.

It’s not as impressive as thefood here!

Out ʻʼn About at Jasmineʼs Cafe


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 47783-7039

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

If something goes without saying, let it!

Genealogy: Chasing your own tale.

20 Maple Street • Mechanic Falls345-3765 • Open 7 days 9am-5pm

Richard Conway, owner

10% MOREEarn

with any amount of bottles with this coupon!

Expires 6/30/11

Mechanic Falls Redemption

We’re across from the car wash,

just down from Future Foods. Anddefinitely worth

the trip!

5 Pigeon Hill Road �Route 26 and 11�, Mechanic Falls • 998-5577Egg-ceptional Restaurant & Bakery

�Home of the Double Yolker�Breakfast served all day

Superb service • Handicap accessibleComfortable family atmosphere

DAILY SPECIALS FOR BREAKFAST & LUNCHMon-Fri 7am to 2pm

Sat & Sun 6am to 2pm

Finish a full-sizeomelette and have

your picture put onour wall of fame!

Normand Bisson of Lewiston

Wall of Fame InducteeIt’s an

honor to havemade it on the wall of

fame!

Maine Blues Festival 2011

For the sixth consecutiveyear the Maine Blues Festivalis scheduled for Father's Dayweekend, June 17-19 inNaples. The Festival hasgrown into one of the area'smost anticipated events of thesummer. Over 40 Maine basedblues acts will perform at 10venues in Naples. Well knownarea acts including Pam Baker,Mark Miller, Denny Breau,Blue Steel Express, the Practi-cal Cats, Pat Pepin, BrooksideBlues Band, The ColwellBrothers, Delta Knights, EricGreen Party, Matt & the Barn-burners, Zach PomerleauBand, and Jimmy & the Soul-cats will appear. A host ofother bands, duos and soloartists will be performing elec-tric, acoustic, Chicago, Delta,Cajun and other styles ofblues music.

Friday, June 17 will kick offthe event at several non-ticketvenues in the Naples area.Saturday tickets are $12 in ad-vance and $15 day of show forentrance to all 10 venuesthroughout Naples, with con-tinuous music from noonuntil after midnight. Sundaywill feature finale perform-ances and all-star jamsthroughout the afternoon.

Advance tickets, entertainment schedule andlodging info is available at mainebluesfestival.comand all Bull Moose locations. Kiosks will be set up allaround Naples for day of showtickets and festival programs.

The Brookside BluesBand will kick off the FestivalFriday June 17 at Rick’s Caféin Naples beginning at 9:00.They will be joined by formermembers of The Blend for anevening of classic and originalblues, with no cover charge.

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201148

Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.

Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.


Root CellarI'm so proud

of both my daughtersfor coming out to

help us on Red Day.

Robin, Heidi Gallop, KW Agent & Meagan

Tammy BellefleurKW Realtor

Helping out always puts a smile

on my face!

Odd PhrasesWhere did they come

from?

The phrase "sleeptight" originated whenmattresses were setupon ropes woventhrough the bed frame.To remedy saggingropes, one would use abed key to tighten therope.

www.jasminecafemaine.com

Bento Lunch BoxIncludes your choice of Jasmine Rice, MisoSoup or Glass Noodle Soup, House Salad,

2 pc. Sushi Roll, 2 pc. Appetizer & Side of Noodle of the Day

Starting at $6.95

Japanese • Korean • Thai • SushiWe Deliver!

730 Center Street, AuburnAuburn Plaza, next to Flagship Cinema

376-4855

Note Worthy

Joe's wife likes tosing. She decided tojoin the church choir.From time to time shewould practice whileshe was in thekitchen preparing din-ner. Whenever shewould start in on asong, Joe would headoutside to the porch.

His wife, with hurtfeelings, said,"What's the matter,Joe? Don't you likemy singing?"

Joe replied, "Honey, Ilove your singing, butI just want to makesure the neighborsknow I'm not beatingyou."


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 49783-7039

Every time I think I've hit bottom, someone lends me a shovel.

A nest is not empty until all their stuff is out of the attic.

Out ’n About at Jasmine’s Cafefor their Grand

Opening

Anthony Collins &Richard Conway

Jasmine’s sushi is unbelievable!

I’m here so much, theyknow me by name!

Julia Gavin &Dave Bisson

Their Japanese food is king. It’s evenbetter than my King

Cobra driver golf club.

Betty & Derek Laliberte

The Crystal clear choice for me is their

Thai food!

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201150Adults are just kids who owe money.

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

YTH2042 Yard Tractor

Price...$1599

Price...$399Price...$1699

KayleighLevesque

Six month old KayleighLevesque of Buckfield willbe competing for the title ofL/A's Little Miss Independence at theAuburn Mall on June 25th.Kayleigh will compete inthree areas of competitionincluding beauty, photo-genic and patrioticwear. The pageant is opento young ladies from 6months to 11 yearsold. Kayleigh will be com-peting for the opportunityto represent the L/A areaat the National Finals inPortland as well as a hostof other awards.

Kayleigh is the daughter ofJoseph and SamanthaLevesque of Buckfield. Herproud grandparents areVicki and David Dean alsoof Buckfield. For more in-formation stop by theAuburn Mall on CenterStreet in Auburn.

Local Tot To Compete In Little

Miss Pageant

You may say I amcrazy, but I am

really a fruit loop in a world full of

cheerios.– Uncle Andy

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201152I have a photographic memory, but the lens cap is glued on.

Uncle Andy wants to know: Why do two pound bags of uncooked popcorn cost about two bucks in the grocerystore while a handful of popcorn costs seven bucks at the movie theater?

Month of June

Taylor Brook Mall14 Millett Drive, Auburn

782-3457www.annsflower.com

Ann’s Flowers

PromsRecitalsGraduationFather�s Day

"Look, I don't want towax philosophic, but Iwill say that if you'realive you've got to flapyour arms and legs,you've got to jumparound a lot, for life isthe very opposite ofdeath, and thereforeyou must at the veryleast think noisy andcolorfully, or you're notalive."

– Mel Brooks

Out & About with the Healthy Androscoggin Work Healthy Award Winners

Kate present Chip Morrison theplaque for The Androscoggin

Chamber of Commerce

Matt Cote from Kaplan UniversityLewiston Campus accepts award

from Senator Margaret Craven

Kate Callahan, HA; Auburn Mayor,Dick Gleason & Erin Guay, HA

The Schooner Estates group receives their Work Healthy Award

from Senator Margaret Craven

At a dinner party in the home offriends, our host mentioned hishigh-school alma mater. One ofthe guests asked him if he hadbeen a student there at the sametime as a particular vice principal.

"I sure was!" answered the host."He was the biggest jerk I've evermet. Did you know him too?"

"Well, not then," replied the guest."But my mother married him lastSaturday."

Rt. 100 • New GloucesterHours: Mon-Fri 8am-10pm • Sat-Sun 7am - 10pm 926-3434 Breakfast Served Daily until 11am

Call ahead for takeout or enjoy a meal in our full service dining room!!

The Little Place with the Great Taste

Just$11.99Bucket of spaghetti with

4 meatballs & loaf of garlic bread

Spaghetti Special!

Check us out online at www.mariositalianmaine.com

Home of theGluten-free Crust

Try our Boston-style Sausage Sub this month!

Breakfastserved dailyuntil 11am


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 53783-7039

You're getting older when the rocking chair feels like a roller coaster used to.

The face is familiar but I can't quite remember my name.

It's not the pace of life that bothers me; it's the sudden stop at the end.

120 CENTER STREET PLAZA • AUBURN • 786-0715 • www.gippers.com

VOTED #1 Casual Restaurant & Best Burgers in L/A area

HOURS: Sun–Thurs 11:00am – 11:00pm • Fri & Sat 11:00am – Midnight

Open Father’s Day!Specials & Full Menu Available

ntn trivia

MLB Baseball PackageWatch your favorite team in HD

Cancer Survivors Invitedto Unite at Relay For Lifeof Androscoggin County

The American Cancer So-ciety invites all local cancersurvivors to attend the RelayFor Life of AndroscogginCounty on June 11 at EdwardLittle High School track tocelebrate life and the hope ofa cancer-free future. Relaywill kick-off with the openingceremony and Survivor/Care-giver Lap at 12:15 pm.

Relay For Life is the Soci-ety’s signature activity bring-ing together members of thecommunity to celebrate thosewho have defeated cancer,remember loved ones lost,and to fight back against thedisease. Relay is a teamevent and takes place at Ed-ward Little High School track,and teams of participantspledge to have one memberwalking around the track forthe duration of the event.

During the Relay, cancersurvivors are honored and in-vited to participate in a spe-cial “Survivor’s Lap,” to openthe Relay, unified in victoryand hope, while the rest ofthe event’s participants sur-round the track to cheer themon. The Society believes acancer survivor is one whodefines themselves as suchfrom the time of diagnosisthrough the balance of life.

There will be manyfundraising activities and funactivities throughout the 18-hour event to raise money tosupport cancer survivors andto fight back with funding forresearch.

This year in Maine, 18Relay events are planned incommunities across the stateduring May and June. Formore information, or to find aRelay event near you, pleasecall 1-800-227-2345 or visitrelayforlife.org.

Poland Regional HSKnights Baseball sends out a big...

THANK YOU!To all of our sponsors who made our golf tournament a huge success...

Michigan VeneerDad’s PlaceRepublic JewelryG.A. DowningK&K ExcavationBryant Energy

Cooper PavingElectro Static TechnologyDead RiverDunkin’ Donuts of Auburn & Oxford

Minot Country Store

Wight’s Sporting GoodsShirley KingSign Shack of MaineUncle Andy’s Digest

(prime sponsor)

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201154

Forget health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

Uncle Andyʼs Law: You will always find something in the last place you look.

Lauren Cronin

Tom & Susan Stacey

I’ve been around marketing for a long

time and Jasmine’s doesa great job. With theirad in Uncle Andy’s andtheir great website byT.H. Creation they’ll bearound for a long time!

Angie & Earl St. Hilaire


Opening

Jimbo is not afraid tosay that Uncle Andy isin fact, the one who letthe dogs out.


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 55783-7039

60-year-old, one owner, needs parts...make offer.

Life not only begins at 40, it begins to show.

97 Ash St., Lewiston • 783-0668

Live Entertainment WeekendsFri. June 3 Matt & the BarnburnersSat. June 4 TBAFri. June 10 SköshSat. June 11 TBAFri. June 17 Veggies by DaySat. June 18 Beyond the FallFri. June 24 TBASat. June 25 Black Cat RoadFri. July 1 Veggies by DaySat. July 2 TBA

Free WiFi

Open JamThursdays

Back l to r: Shannon Lord, Mel Cote, HannahGreene. Front: Ashley Farrell, Darcy Ames

336 Center St. • Auburn • 777-1611

Shellac Manicure & Spa Pedicure Combo . . . . . .$60Full Head of Foils . . . . . . . . . . .$75Eyelash & Brow Tint . . . . . . . .$25

June Specials

— Now hiring full & part time Stylists —



Lewiston

BINGO!BINGO!!I win!!!

Join us on Wednesdays. Take a

look at the KC Bingo adon page 42 for more

info!

84 Court St, Auburn 333-3041 www.hollysown.com

Deli DownstairsDining Room Upstairs

Hol ly Mi reau l t , Owner

The patio isnow open!

Need Catering?Graduations • Weddings • Birthdays • Father’s Day Try Nick’s

4 Soups Served DailyWe do it all!

Hours: Mon.-Fri. 8:00-4pm • Sat. 11am - 4pm

Serving smoked meats for lunch

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201156

I'd rather be over the hill than under it.

Goodbye tension. Hello pension.

27 MILLETT DRIVE, AUBURN

784-1577

Taylor Brook DentalOur dentists serve patients in

Auburn, Lewiston, Poland, Minot,and surrounding towns. We are here

to provide quality, comprehensivedental treatment in a friendly, caringatmosphere. Our goal is to help thepatient achieve optimal dental heath

throughout their lifetime.

Wide-Ranging ServicesOur dental services include crowns,

bridges, dentures, dental extractions,tooth whitening, cosmetic dentistry,root canal, fluoride treatment, andall other major areas of dentistry.

Helping our patients achieveextraordinary dental health.Now accepting new patients.

TAYLORBROOKDENTAL.COM

TAYLOR BROOKDENTAL ASSOCIATES

We accept Northeast Delta Dental,State of Maine & Cigna Insurances

Thank you to everyone who cameout to our open house.

We hope you keep coming back!


Opening

Dog Math

A farmer wants to knowhow many sheep hehas in his field, so heasks his border collieto count them. The dogruns into the field,counts them and runsback to the farmer. Thefarmer says, "Howmany?" The dog says,"40." The farmer is sur-prised and says, "Howcan there be 40 - I onlybought 38!" The dogsays, "I rounded themup."


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 57783-7039 Fifty is the ultimate F-word.

I'm not 50--I'm 18 with 32 years' experience. Out ’n About atPoland Spring Inn

It’s true! I stole this shirt

from Charlie Sheen

Things Not ToSay To On Date

I never said you NEEDa nose job. I just said itwouldn't hurt to con-sider it.

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201158

Retirement: twice as much husband, half as much money.

I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

SAVE GAS - RIDE A GOLF CART• Campers • Senior Citizens• Campground and RV Owners• Free Delivery - 40 mile radius• Conversion Lift Kits • 4 passenger cars

497 Washington St. Auburn • 783-3232

HUGESALE

Florian’sFlorian’s~ Market ~~ Market ~

301 Main St., Auburn 783-9098 / Open 7 Days a WeekFind us on Facebook & Foursquare

Hot & Cold SandwichesPizza & More

Great Beer Specials!Create a case, mixed beer selection!

See store for details

Redemption CenterCommercial & Residential

pick-up available

SUNDAY SPECIALItalians $1.99

(ham, salami or veggie)

Check out our DeliTUESDAY SPECIALItalians $1.59

(ham, salami or veggie)

Check out MobiDealsfor our coupon!



Lewiston

B-14,B-14.

I wish he’d say I-14...


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 59783-7039 Why do they put a post office box out in front of the post office? Youʼre already there!

Why is it called a classified ad if its there to let us know what there selling?

Why do people say “You know what?” before telling you what “what” is?

• Excavating• Concrete• Septic System Installation• Water or Sewer Connections• Retaining Walls• Screened Loam & Gravel Delivery

Residential Projects – We Do That!

Call for your FREE quote!

20 Highland Spring Road, Lewistonwww.stlaurentandson.com • 784-7944

Locally owned and operated since 1970

Call for your FREE quote!

Out ’n About atPoland Spring Inn

Uncle Andy, let me get my coat off before you snap

a picture...

Yep, it’s my birthday... I have mycake and I’m gonna

eat it, too!

600 Center Street • Shaw’s Plaza, Auburn • 786-0112Mon - Fri 9 am - 7 pm • Sat 9 am - 3 pm

v Professional & Experienced Hair Team

v Licensed Manicurist/Pedicurist

... to us, you’re morethan just a haircut

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201160

If there is an extra small and an extra large, why arent the extra mediums?

Why are there five syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?

Lewiston Youth Activities FundWe support school libraries!

Pleasant Street Bingo Hall475 Pleasant St., Lewiston • 777-1394

Every Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday & Friday at 6:30PM

$10 up to 48 cards - Games pay $50 - $100

Fridays: 1/2 of all packages goes to W.T.A.

If builders donʼt like building a 13th floor, why donʼt authors skip chapter eleven?

Danielle Brownof Community Credit Union, hasbeen promoted to Branch Support. Brown joined theCredit Union in 2008 as a Member Representative.

With this new position,Brown will be responsible foroverseeing the Credit Union’sShare Draft and Bill Payer pro-grams. She also serves as anAssistant to the Member ServiceSupervisor in the Lewistonbranch. Brown resides in Lewis-ton with her husband Nicholas.

Community Credit Union is amember-owned, full service fi-nancial institution that has beenserving its members and An-droscoggin County since 1945.

Community Credit Union hasbranches located at 144 PineSt., Lewiston and 40 Stanley St.,Auburn. For more information,log onto communitycreditunion.com

Brown Promoted

You grow it, we mow it!

Call Greenside Up LawnCare for all your grasscutting & trimming needs!Check out the ad on page 88.

782-2088150 Mill Street, Lewiston

www.davinciseatery.com

Pizza BuffetEvery Tuesday Night - 5pm-8pm

$9.50/pp

$5 Children 10 & under

Soup, Salad & Pizza


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 61783-7039

Why are you always the only one in your house that knows how to put a new toilet paperroll on the holder?

Why isnʼt the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?

Tanning Salon& Wel lne s s Cen t e r


784-8900

Hot Stu f f

WOMEN’S SELF DEFENSE

SEMINARat

• Learn how to defendyourself with tech-niques that are easy tolearn and apply in areal-life situation.

• Learn how to use yourkeys, a pen, or evenyour newspaper to defend yourself.

• Learn an easy formulaof stun-release-followup that will help aid inyour defense.

• Learn basic strikingand joint manipulation techniques.

• Gain confidence.• Most of all, have fun

learning somethingthat could benefit youor a loved one!

Friday, June 10th6:00-7:30pm

$20 Pre-registrationrequired.

Includes KeychainKubaton.

Max 20 participants.Call 784-8900 or stop

in to register!



784-8900

Hot Stu f f

(l to r) Cindy, Emily, Queen Elizabeth, Michelle, Christine & LynnFor that perfect look on your wedding day, call the salon professionals at Panache at 782-9009

Did You Know: The Prince and Kate are now formally called The Duke & Duchess of Cambridge.

The girls at Panache got all glammed up for the Royal Wedding ofPrince William & Kate Middleton

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201162I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.

If you think talk is cheap, try hiring a lawyer.

For sale: Four-posted bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

20 Highland Spring Road, Lewiston333-3707 • www.MaineHeavy.com

Suspension Service • Oil ChangesInspections • Roadside AssistanceTurn Rotors • Transmission Flush

Tune Ups & Much More!

LIGHT & HEAVY DUTY TRUCK SERVICE & REPAIRS

You can come to us or we can go to you!You can come to us or we can go to you!


Being Dockside* is one of my favorite

places to be...

Cyndi Robbins*Cyndi’s Dockside Restaurant

The first thing anycoaching staff must dois weed out selfish-ness.

– Johnny Majors

165 High Street, Auburn • 782-7796 • Open Tuesday - Sunday • www.villageinnmaine.com

Treat Dad to lunch or dinner on

Father’s Day, Sunday, June 19th.

OutdoorPatioLarge parties, please call ahead.


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 63783-7039

There are two rules for success: 1) Don't tell all you know.

Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.

HARRIS BROTHERS

HARRISBROS.

Call us!No Separating Required!

743-3891PO Box 2002 • Norway, Maine 04268

SERVING: NORWAY • WEST PARISMINOT • MCFALLS • OXFORD

14 Highland Spring Plaza,Suite A

Highland Spring Road,Lewiston

Hours: Tues. Wed. & Thu. 6am - 8pmFri. 6am - 3pm • Sat. 8am - 1pm786-4311

Ann Dumais Kelly Giambra Sue Poulin Kim Galgovitch Lisa Olmstead Pauline Guimond Lysa Ronan Valerie Kelshaw Jacinta Labbe

We are a full service salonWe Now Offer WiFi

would like to wish congratulations

to all area graduates!Get your graduate a gift card for any of our professional services.

Doing the Right Thing

A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to findthe headlights broken and considerable dam-age. Thereʼs no sign of the offending vehiclebut heʼs relieved to see that thereʼs a notestuck under the windshield wiper. “Sorry. I justbacked into your Beemer. The witnesses whosaw the accident are nodding and smiling atme because they think Iʼm leaving my name,address and other particulars. But Iʼm not.”

CabbieSubmitted by Glen Gisel

A stark-naked woman jumpedinto a vacant cab. The cabbiewas immediately beside himselfand just kept on staring at thewoman. He makes no attemptto start the car.

"What's wrong with you sun-shine, haven't you ever seen a

naked woman before?"

"I'll not be staring at you lady, Iam telling you, that would notbe proper, where I come from."

"Well if you're not bloody staringat me, what are you doingthen?

"Well, I am thinking to myself,where is this lady keeping themoney to pay me with."

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201164

Genius does what it must, talent does what it can, and you had best do what you're told.

Shooting stars arenʼt stars, of course. They're meteors.

22 Albiston Way, Auburn

784-57881-800-377-9433

WWW.MAINEOXY.COM



Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 65783-7039

Tennessee Williams wasnʼt born in Tennessee. He was born in Columbus, Mississippi.

Buttermilk doesnʼt contain butter.

TAYLOR BROOK DENTAL ASSOCIATES 784-1577

Why ChooseTaylor Brook Dental?

TAYLOR BROOKDENTAL ASSOCIATES

• Experienced, professional and courteous staff

• Our staff has a combined experience of391 years in dentistry

• Clean, modern facility with plenty of parking

• We offer Cosmetic & Preventative Dentistry Services all under one roof

• We accept the following insurances:Northeast Delta Dental, State of Maine& Cigna

• We have Care Credit & SpringBrook Patient Financing available

• Our mission is to help our patientsachieve extraordinary dental health

27 MILLETT DRIVE, AUBURN • TAYLORBROOKDENTAL.COM

Out & About at L-A Harley’s Black

& Orange Event

Joe & LindaBolduc

Bobbie & Shelley

Kris & Ken

Peter & RamonaGenther

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201166

The Douglas Fir isnʼt a fir—itʼs a pine tree.

Although people think otherwise, a newborn baby canʼt shed tears.

A Maine Tradition

You Can Count On!

Portland-Lewiston Road, Gray • 657-4714 • www.ColeFarms.comJUST ONE MILE NORTH OFF EXIT 63 OF MAINE TURNPIKE

BREAKFAST BUFFET

SATURDAY & SUNDAY Now open from 7am-11am

Adults .............$6.95

6 & under .......$3.95

Tuesday - Yankee Pot Roast . . . .$7.95w/Carrots, Potato & Gravy, Rolls

Wednesday - Chicken Pot Pie . . .$6.95w/Potato & Rolls

Sunday - Roast Pork . . . . . . . . .$8.95w/Potato, Choice of Salad, Coleslaw or Vegetable & Rolls

Hours:Monday-Thursday 6am – 9pm;

Friday 6am – 9:30pm; Saturday 6am – 9:30pm; Sunday 6am – 9pm

Friday & SaturdayAfter 4:00 PM

Prime Rib Au Jus*Small $13.25 • Large $15.95

Friday, Saturday & SundayFried Haddock* $11.25

Fried or Baked Stuffed Haddock* Small $9.75 • Large $13.25

Fried Seafood Combo* $16.95

Baked Salmon $10.95includes Potato, Choice of Salad or Cloeslaw

*with Potato, Choice of Salad, Coleslaw or Vegetable & Rolls Christine Marshall

of New Gloucester

WEEKDAY LUNCH SPECIALS

Monday - Maine Fried ShrimpTuesday - Fish & ChipsWednesday - Steak SubThursday - Grilled Reuben SandwichFriday - Fried Haddock Sandwich

Served from 10:30-3:30

I’ve worked here for 25 years, it’s a family atmosphere. Come try the

chicken pot pie or hot chicken sandwich,two Cole Farms favorites!


Birthday & Rites of Spring Party at

Irish Twins

Erica Robinson& Bruno Smith

Veggies By Day...winning

Veggies withBruno

...epic winning

Boy, you look a lot like Charlie

Sheen...

I hear that all the time and I never get sick

of it!!


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 67783-7039 The London Bridge has never fallen down.

Smokey the Bear didnʼt always have that famous name. Originally, he was Hot Foot Teddy.

Those who do public speaking donʼt stand behind a podium. They stand behind a lectern. A podium is the platform or stage on which a speaker stands.

207-739-9022Commercial or Residential

• Lawn care

• Landscaping

• Seasonal Cleanups

• Stone Work

• Seeding

• Hedge Trimming

• Annual & Perennials Durginslawnandlandscape .comDurginslawnandlandscape .com

June Special

$10 OFFFirst lawn mowing

New accounts only


& Orange Event

Kenny & JanetPalmer

Janine & Al Hastey

Lori Chason,Dan Lawler &Susan Lawler

We're from the Augusta area,

but we come here for all our bikes, accessories & apparel because its the

best shop in Maine, hands down!

Nobody does Harley-Davidson

better than L-A Harley!

Michael Vallee Sr

And I think I’mpretty hot, too!

Out ’n About at the Village Inn

Vincent Corey & Leslie Lafrance

I love the Chicken Cordon

Bleu

The clam strips are delicious, but the French Onion Soup isthe best in L/A with-

out a doubt!

Shirley Michaud, Heather Allen (the birthday girl) & Paulette Dyment

We decided to treat the birthday girl

to her first meal at The Village Inn...

I'm very proud one of the three generations of The Vallee

family to own and operate the Village Inn in Auburn.We're proud to still prepare our meals using the

same recipes and techniques that we've always used.

And I'll be back again soon. Next time

you go out to eat, comehere!

in Auburn

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201168

Short Line, of Monopoly fame, wasnʼt actually a railroad. It was a bus company.

It might surprise you to find out men are far more likely to be moved to tears by music than women.

Windham Automotive

892-1212385 Roosevelt Trail, Windham

Saturday, June 18thDon’t miss the...

And be sure to stop by Ron’s Mexican Cantina & Grill.

All proceeds are donated to Camp Sunshine! Thank you for

your continued support!!

Sponsored by:

Always aCamp Sunshinedonation destination!

Most precious gems are actually colorless. Their color comes from impurities in the stonethat act as pigmenting agents.

ATTENTION FACEBOOK FANS!You can now book a tee time

directly from the Spring Meadows FaceBook account. Convenient,

fast and easy. Try it today!

ONE PAYS! TWO PLAY!Pay just one green fee and a friend plays free. Or, pay for two green fees and two play free.

Check out new website: SpringMeadowsGolf.com

Monday Night ScramblesMake your own team or sign up as a single.

Call the club for more information.

GOLF CLUB ATCOLE FARMS

2 for 1Must present this coupon to receive one free green fee for each paidgreen fee. Cart fee mandatory for each player. May not be combined

with other offers. Good for 18 holes, Mon. thru Thurs. all day, Fri. thruSun. after 1 p.m. excluding holidays, tournaments and twilight play.

Route 100 in Gray • Just minutes from Turnpike Exit 63For tee times contact Ben Morey at 657-2586

Senior LeagueEVERY TUESDAY

MORNINGCall the club for more

information

Dan Smith

Scott & MichelleSt. Pierre


Birthday & Rites of Spring Party at

Irish Twins

Kristin & Chris

I can’t wait to see the

video of this kiss so I can PLAY IT

AGAIN.

The secret to success is to start from

scratch and keep onscratching.

– Dennis Green


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 69783-7039

Nothing can be more useful to you than a determination not to be hurried. – Henry David Thoreau

Venetian blinds were invented in Japan, not Venice.

Located on Rt. 115 in North Windham • 892-8220

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. – Dale Carnegie

Dave & Maggie Garry, Owners

Hours: Mon - Sat 11am - 10pmSun 12 - 8pmRESTAURANT 892-9922

Located at 907 Roosevelt Trail

Casual Dining in a Relaxed Atmosphere

Don’t forgetFather’s Day

is June 19th.

But you can bring

dad and the whole

family anytime!Thatcher’s

has the best food in Windham!

Out & About atHolly’s Own

Restaurant for their4th anniversary

celebration

"I believe in Christianityas I believe that thesun has risen: not onlybecause I see it, butbecause by it I seeeverything else."

– C. S. Lewis

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201170

"Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen." – Michael Jordan

The time is always right to do what is right. – Martin Luther King, Jr.

Dad’s Place is a great place to fill your cooler!

Dad’s PlaceThere’s NO PLACE like...

23 Pleasant Street, Mechanic Falls • 345-5551

Hot & Cold Buffet-Style Catering

No job too big or too small!

Professional service at an affordable price

Dad’s PlaceDad’s Place345-9009

Summer CateringFrom Weddings to Backyard BBQ’s to Company Parties & More!

Call Diana or Larry formore info and pricingCatering Division

Whether your going to the beach, to the races or just hanging out in your own back yard...

There’s NO PLACE like...

Win as if you were used to it, lose as if you enjoyed it for a change. – Erick Golnik


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 71783-7039

It is the still, small voice that the soul heeds, not the deafening blasts of doom. – William Dean Howells

"If it's sanity you're after, there's no recipe like laughter." – Henry Rutherford Elliot



celebration

This is what I’m talking

about!!

I heard Uncle Andy was

making a comeback...

My song writing and I are a

work in progress. Andwe’re certainly moving

forward!

REMO

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201172In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.

Bad thoughts are like germs. Build up your immunity!

The main trouble with mental notes is the ink fades so fast.

M&P Property Management1339 Sabattus Street, Lewiston

Moe 577-0690 • Scott 402-5108 • [email protected]

Now Offering

PAVINGProfessional, Affordable & High Quality Work

20 years experienceCommercial & Residential

Materials Sold & Delivered

CALL FOR YOURFREE ESTIMATE!

Mulch • Packing Gravel • Top Soil • Crushed Rock • Mulch by the bag or truckload

A pickpocket was ap-pearing in court for aseries of petty crimes."Mr. Brewster," thejudge said, "you arehereby found guilty andfined the sum of $150."

After consulting withhis client, Mr. Brew-ster's lawyer stood upand said, "Your Honor,my client is a little shortat this time. He hasonly $125 in hispocket, but if youwould allow him a fewminutes in the crowd..."

"I have a sore throat,Doctor. I ache, I have afever."

"Sounds like a virus."

"Everyone in the officehas it."

"Well then, maybe it's astaff infection."


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 73783-7039

The time to relax is when you don't have time for it. – Sydney J. Harris

• Power your whole house

• Keep medical equipment

running

• Keep food cold &

your home warm

• Keep well pumps &

sump pumps working

• Power your whole house

• Keep medical equipment

running

• Keep food cold &

your home warm

• Keep well pumps &

sump pumps working

And Much More!

www.electricalsystemsofmaine.comwww.electricalsystemsofmaine.com

ELECTRICAL SYSTEMS OF MAINEELECTRICAL CONTRACTORS

1200 Minot Ave., Auburn

783-7126

INCLUDES FULL INSTALLATIONCALL FOR MORE INFO

INCLUDES FULL INSTALLATIONCALL FOR MORE INFO

Donʼt hate me because I m good, hate me because I know it!


& Orange Event

Mercedes Shellman& Dean Hale

John Dianan &Kerry Kenney

Dawn Chase &Richard Urquhart

I came up here from Portland

because L-A Harley was the only dealership in the

entire state with the exact bike I was

looking for.

L-A Harley's got the best selection

& service ever!

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201174

NEW Church Bulletin Bloopers: Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

NEW Church Bulletin Bloopers: The school drama group will be presenting Shakespeare'sHamlet in the Church hall on Friday at 7PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

LEWISTON541 Lisbon Street, Lewiston • 784-4029 92 Pleasant Street, Brunswick • 725-2797

For All Your Commercial & Personal Insurance Needs

BILODEAU INSURANCE AGENCY2 locations to serve your needs

BRUNSWICK

NEW Church Bulletin Bloopers: Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to theaddition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.


Cinco De Mayo

It’s party time!

I love coming to Pedro’s to see my favorite bartender,

Abby!

I didn't loose my mar-bles, the people in myhead are playing withthem and they wontgive them back! I wishthey would learn toshare. – Uncle Andy

Don't steal, don't lie,don't cheat, don't selldrugs. The governmenthates competition!

1111 Center StreetAuburn

Cell: 754-0310Tel: 782-6515COLLISION REPAIR & PAINTING

AUTO BODY & SALES

NADA Book $18,900

Loaded, 64KNICE!

2006 Jeep Commander Limited

MARC’S PRICE

$16,900Tasha Pelletier, Model


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 75783-7039

One of the most powerful handclasps is that of a new grandbaby around the finger of a grandfather. – Joy Hargrove

An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly. – Gene Perret

Ray The Electrician LLCRESIDENTIAL & COMMERCIAL

Office: 225-3360 • Cell: [email protected]

Fully Insured • All Electrical Service Work• Houses• Cottages• Dormitories• Campgrounds• Schools

• Phone Cable• Camera Security• House Alarms• Lead Certified

Renovator

“My Prices Won’tShock You”

Financing Available • Some Restrictions Apply

PLUS:• Install all sizes of generators, from portable to

stand-by generators• Install permanent line poles for new housing developments

We answer any emergency call 24 hours a day / 7 days a weekLicensed in Maine, New Hampshire, Massachusetts and Vermont


& Orange Event

Kathy Harris, Jesse Harris & Mike Franklin

Dana & TinaGoodwin

Better prices, nicer staff

& more activities goingon than any other Harley dealership

I've been to.

Jeff Green &Lindsay Delorme

Stop wishing you had a Harley. Stop

by L-A Harley today and see how easy it is to makeyour dream a reality. Theycan finance your purchase

and help you find the bike that’s right

for you!

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201176

Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. – G Norman Collie

If becoming a grandmother was only a matter of choice, I should advise every one of youstraight away to become one. There is no fun for old people like it! – Hannah Whithall Smith

960 Main Street, Oxford • 539-4149500 feet North of the New Balance Factory Outlet Store

Largest Indoor Flea Market in the Area!

Open7 Days a Week8 AM - 5 PM

Featuring

131Vendors

Come to Oxford’s only original indoor flea market!

Open 7 days a week year-round for your shopping!

We honor:M/C, DEBIT, ATM, VISA,

Am. Express & Discover cards

VISIT

“THE BOOK NOOK”

Collectibles • Coins • Glassware • Sports Cards • Furniture • BEANIE BABIES

Advertising Items • Jewelry • Cassettes • DVDs • CD’s • Videos • Antiques & Lots More!

Always

Buying

Regular Paperbacks$1/each

$3.50 each for most Hardcover Books

Selective Hard Covers $2

20% OFFall Audio Books (books on tape & CD)

Over 55,000 Pre-Read Books

& Cookbooks

Pre-Read Books arriving daily

Large Selectionof FentonGlassware!

20% - 70% OFF

INVENTORYREDUCTION

SALE!



celebration

Shhh...

And you thought I was

sleeping on the job...Got ya!

Come to Holly’s and dance

with us!


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 77783-7039 Interpreting Hotel Brochures: Concierge ................... Stand with tourist brochures

Once a human reaches the age of 35, he/she will start losing approximately 7,000 brain cells a day. The cells will never be replaced.

CALL US FOR THE NEXT NRA PISTOL COURSE DATE!

Hours:

9-5 Mon-Fri • 9-1 Sat

John Reid, Owner

We Buy, Sell & TradeFull Line Gun Smith Service

New website coming soon!!

J.T. REID’S GUNS86 Court St., Auburn • 777-3579

Jamie Pelletier, Manager

Checkus out!

Pat’s Pizza784-8221

85 Center Street, Auburn

THE DECK awaits you…

Lewiston - Auburn Rotary2011 Spring Flower Scholarship Fundraiser

Contact Phil Nadeau at [email protected] or 207-513-3121, Ext. 3201. Fax orders to: 207-795-5069

All choices are 10” hanging flower

baskets

Geraniumssolids: pink/red/salmon

Petuniaspurple/pink/white/red mixed

Fuchsiastwo-tone: pink & red/pink & purple/red & white

New Guinea Impatiensred/orange/purple/burgundy

Calacopiapurple/pink/yellow/red/white

Out & About at Holly’s Own

Restaurant for their4th anniversary cele-

bration

Just Grin & Bear it!

Uncle Andy wins wrestlingmatch with stuffed bear

at Poland Spring Trading

Julie Dionne & Cindy Harndenat Impulse Hair in New Auburn

Great service, affordable prices and a sexy look! Even on

Impulse!

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201178

Interpreting Hotel Brochures: Picturesque ................. Theme park nearby

Interpreting Hotel Brochures: Gentle breezes .............. Occasional Gale-force winds

Calories That Don't Count... LEFT-HANDED FOOD: If you have a drink in your righthand, anything eaten with the other hand has no calories.

MATERIAL DELIVERIESGRAVEL • SAND • LOAM

STONE • FILLMULCH

1331 Sabattus Street, Lewiston • [email protected]

• LANDSCAPING

• PAVING

• EXCAVATION

• RETAINING WALLS

• EMERGENCY WATER/SEWER REPAIRS

• DEMOLITION

• PARKING LOT REPAIRS • Fully Insured • Certified in Erosion Control •

995 Center Street, Auburn • www.granitemarblecountertops.netHours: Mon-Fri 9am-5:30pm; Sat 9am-2pm

FAMILY OWNED AND OPERATED!

786-5556

Family Owned & Operated

Remodeling Your Kitchen or Bathroom?Over

110 GRANITEand

300 QUARTZcolors to

choose from!

Check out our

showroom!


& Orange Event

Sam Bartlett &Laura Kenney

Larry & Mili Gahagan

This is the best Harley dealership I've ever been to. Thestaff here is friendly,

knowledgeable and they'llbend over backwards

to help you.

We like being a part of the L-A HarleyFamily because there's always a lot of activities

going on.

Little Susie was watching her father, the deacon, write a homily.

“How do you knowwhat to say?” sheasked her dad.

“Why, God tells me,”he replied.

“Then why do you keepcrossing things out?”


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 79783-7039

Calories That Don't Count... CHARITABLE FOODS: Girl Scout cookies, bake sale cookies, ice creamsocials and church strawberry festivals all have a religious dispensation from calories.

Do not neglectyour Septic System

For proper maintenance,it should be pumped periodically.

Liquid Waste Pumping • Portable sanitation facilities

ServiceRentalSales

We carry risers, covers,baffle replacements, septic additives.

CALL US TODAY TO SET UP AN APPOINTMENT

G.A. DOWNINGCO., INC.

111 Woodman Hill RDMinot, ME 04258

207.782.4508800.924.4500

Calories That Don't Count... FOOD ON FOOT: All food eaten while standing has no calories.

DRIVING RANGE MINI-GOLF

Open 7 days a week!

Burgers • DogsL-A’s Best Onion Rings

Fries • Ice Cream

RESTAURANT

Lake Shore Drive, (first left after the lake)Off Rt. 4 in Auburn

www.tabersgolf.comTABERS

Check usout online!

Fishing Terminology

TACKLE BOX - A boxshaped alarmingly likea good first aid kit, onlya tackle box carries anextremely large num-ber of sharp objects, sothat when you reach inblindly to grab an ad-hesive bandage, yousoon find that you willneed more than one.

Adam Downs & Courtney Richardson

Mechanic Falls Redemption

Looking for redemption?It’s right here in Mechanic Falls!

Take a look at page 47.

Photo © M�s Photography

Sadie, please stop bugging me and just

leave me alone.

Out ’n About at Pelletier’s Karate

Shihan Rich Pelletier

Sensi SadieLandry

Listen, I’m stronger than you and

I’m taking charge here!

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201180

You chatter more than a dolphin by a fish bucket.

"What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce." - Mark Twain

550 Lisbon Street, Lewiston, ME • 782-0831

www.shermarnolds.comNEW EXPANDED HOURS:

Monday 8-7pm • Tues - Fri. 8-5pm • Sat. 9-2pm

(l to r) Arti Pearl, TerryCaito & Shawn Brown

Done Right Hardscape'smotto says it all. "If we'redoing it, it's doneright." The company,which was formed in thefall of 2010 by Arti Pearl,Shawn Brown & TerryCaito is quickly becomingknown for their widerange of hardscape serv-ices, high quality workand competitive pricing.The company offers alltypes of Hardscape serv-ices from RetainingWalls, Patios, GraniteCurbing, Driveways,Walkways, Steps andmore. They also offer Ex-cavating service such asHouse Lots, Clearing,Grading, Bulldozer Work,Foundations and more.The crew has over 15years experience in thefield and they use theirexpertise to help theirclients plan & designhardscaping projects.They also offer freequotes to anyone inter-ested in having a projectcompleted and the com-pany is bonded & fully in-ured. For moreinformation on DoneRight Hardscape or toschedule a free quote.Contact Shawn Brown,project manager by call-ing 740-0560 or 344-5814 or email them at:[email protected] their ad on page 81.

Hardscape SpecialistsGettin’ it Done Right!


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 81783-7039

Calories That Don't Count... FOOD EATEN QUICKLY: If you are rushed through a meal, the entire meal doesn't count. Conversely, if you have ordered something fattening and now regret it, you can minimize its calories by gulping it down.

Calories That Don't Count... LEFTOVERS: An extra hamburger, a hotdog butt, half a Twinkie, anything intended for the garbage has no calories regardless of what happens to it in the kitchen.

Calories That Don't Count... OTHER PEOPLE'S FOOD: A chocolate mousse that you did not order has no calories. Therefore, have your companion order dessert and you taste half of it.

Retaining Walls •Walkways & Steps •

Brick Patios •Specialty Stonework •

Granite Curbing •Foundations •House Lots •Excavation •And more! •

Call for a FREE QUOTE

36 Howes Corner Road, Turner • 344-5814 • [email protected]

BONDED & FULLY INSURED

Shawn Brown Project Manager

740-0560

www.watsonlawncare.com

207-754-5355email: [email protected]

All New CustomersReceive a

FREEFall Cleanup!*

*Call for details

Out ’n About at theVillage Inn

in Auburn

Glenn, Louise & Cellia

We love the Village Inn's

new outdoor Patio!

Shari, Dawn & Todd

We’re here to serve you one of the many famous

Village Inn dishes!

Rick Labonte &Michael Vallee Sr*In our May issue we inadver-

tently spelled Vallee incorrectly.

You would think after all these

years that Travis wouldknow how to spell my

last name!*


I used to come here allthe time with my ex.

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201182

Bizarre things to say and do to a telephone solicitor to get him to hang up and leave you alone:"I'm sorry, but this phone is for personal calls only. The boss won't let us use it for business."

Bizarre things to say and do to a telephone solicitor to get him to hang up and leave you alone: Respond to their questions with fax/modem noises.


And I won that trophyin the inter-fraternitybelching contest.

Exemplary Offspring

Submitted by Jimbo

Three mothers were sit-ting around comparingnotes on their exem-plary offspring.

"There never was adaughter more devotedthan my Alice," saidMrs. Davis with a sniff."Every summer shetakes me to theCatskills for a week,and every winter wespend a week at DelrayBeach."

"That's nothing com-pared to what my Annadoes for me," declaredMrs. Jones proudly."Every winter she treatsme to two weeks inMiami, and in the sum-mer two weeks in theHamptons, in my ownprivate guest house."

Mrs. Smith sat backwith a proud smile. "No-body loves her motherlike my Jackie does.Nobody."

"So what does she do?"asked the two women,turning to her.

"Three times a weekshe gets into a cab,goes to the best psychi-atrist in the city, andpays him a hundred andfifty dollars an hour justto talk about me!"

If you’re too busy to cook and you don’t want

fast food, try our HOME-COOKED MEALS!

Cash • Check • Major Credit Cards31 Leavitt Street, Auburn

(first left after the Minot Ave./Hotel Rd. inter-section as you head toward Mechanic Falls)

For only $7 each,Dinner for 1-200.Please order one day prior.

Pick up from 4:30-7:30 p.m.

Eggcettera Catering

784-5544

UNCLE ANDY APPROVED

See our full menu online at: EggcetteraCatering.com

and Dinner To Go

See our full menu online at: EggcetteraCatering.com

June MenuDinner To Go

Please order one day prior. Pick up from 4:30-7:30 p.m.

Thank You to our Sponsors!

Get your team together and join us for a great day of golf!

6th AnnualLewiston High School Football Booster

GOLF TOURNAMENT

Sunday, June 12, 20117am Registration/Sign In

8am Shotgun Start • Scramble FormatFairlawn Country Club, Poland

$50 per person, $200 per team of four(must accompany form)

Come support your Blue Devils

SPONSOR A HOLE!$50.00

Advanced Registration is preferred, you canregister at the door.

FMI: Jeff Johnson, 577-0588 • or Joe McKinnon, 333-9088

Prizes for: 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place, closest-to-the-pin, longestdrive and putting contest. Plus other events.

Registration Form

Player 1: Phone

Player 2: Phone

Player 3: Phone

Player 4: Phone

Please register before Sunday, June 5th. Make checks payable and mail to:LHS Football Boosters, PO Box 34, Lewiston, ME 04240

GridironRESTAURANT

& SPORTS PUB

LANGLOISAUTO BODY

JRMRACING

EMERSONCHEVROLET

HairlooksInternational

Berube’s

HOLMCARPENTRYOver 30 years experience

MELANSONCONSTRUCTION, INC.

PAVING

753-1446

70 Lincoln St.Lewiston333-3663

782-1125

1331 Sabattus St.Lewiston782-3617

1305 Sabattus St.Lewiston • 784-0550 577-7969

782-1965

946 Center St.Auburn

784-3503

784-5899

777-6353

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201184

Bizarre things to say and do to a telephone solicitor to get him to hang up and leave you alone: "You'll have to excuse me now, my armpit is on fire."

Caffeine is proof that God loves us and wants us to pay attention.

MACHINE GUNS • SILENCERS • NFA TRANSFERSSHORT BARREL RIFLES/SHOTGUNS

We also carry:All other types of firearmsKnives • Ammo by the case

We Buy - Sell - TradeFinders fee for collections

Rt. 4 • Turner, MEJust past Twitchell’s Airport

[email protected]

Call Matt, Drew or Chris at 225-3432

Chris Jordan, owner 577-0210

Out ’n About at MaineArt Glass Studio

Getting a head has always

been Uncle Andy’s goal.His goal has been

met.

Confucius say: Those who quote me

are fools.

OVER 20 YEARS OF BUILDING EXPERIENCECall 753-9887 or 576-8528 Fully Insured • Many References Available

Best prices with the highest quality workmanship.“The Difference is in the Details”

New Homes

Call us for your FREE quote!Call us for your FREE quote!

Sun RoomsGarages


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 85783-7039 I've got some Carefree gum, but it hasn't kicked in yet. I'm worried.

The Lenscrafter technician got his tie caught in the machine and he made a spectacle of himself.

Assisted H

ome CareFor more information visit us at:550 College St., Lewiston

783-7375We cover Gray, New Gloucester, Turner, Augusta,

Windham, Brunswick, Topsham, Bath, Mechanic Falls, Norway, Bowdoinham, Pownal and surrounding areas.

Come Join Our Team!If you’re interested in flexible hours andvaried assignments, all with an excellent

support system, contact us!

Nancy Merrill: AdministratorHeather Trainer: Director of Nursing

Assisted Home Care

CNA’sTired of the

Same Old Same Old?

GREAT PAY & FLEXIBLE HOURS • BASE PAY $13.00 PER/HRWeekend Shift Differentials


I can’t believe those guys at UncleAndy’s Digest would publish this... They

are udderly ridiculous!

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201186It's always I before E. Isn't that weird?

If you're killed by a wild pig, does that mean you were boared to death?E

very

on

e se

emed

to

clam

rig

ht

up

wh

enU

ncl

e A

nd

y ar

rive

d...

The naked truth is

sometimes moreapparent then

we think...


I only have eyes for you!

Bill & Rachel Stretton Mother's Day Ride 2011

I always enjoy taking myhot mamma for a

bike ride!

Gar

y S

imar

d,

Jim

Ars

enau

ld

& L

arry

Lea

vitt

at

Mar

cel's

Hai

r in

New

Aub

urn

No

mat

ter

whic

h wa

y we

re

faci

ng, w

e’ll

give

U

ncle

And

y a

high

five

!

Bert Morin at Undercover

Flea Market


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 87783-7039

Find us &

like us on

FACEBOOK

I ordered a honeymoon salad. It's lettuce, alone.

If you want more time, wear more watches.

Andale, Andale,Arriba, Arriba!

“Glamour” Shot

Oh my God, we’re going in

Uncle Andy’s, what adream come true!

Out & About at Pedro O’Hara’sfor Cinco De Mayo

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201188When my ship comes in, I'll be at the airport. – Uncle Andy

Heather’s GardensSpecializing in flower garden design

and maintenance

Heather Martin 576-6814Degree in Horticulture [email protected]

YOU GROW IT, WE MOW IT!

Best prices in L/A!!

Lawn mowing & trimming

Greenside Up Lawn Care

713-3566

Gaseous

Some time ago, I wastaking a ground schoolclass for private pilots.During the sessions onweather, the instructorwanted to discuss theconcept of sublimation- the act of going froma gas to a solid skip-ping the intermediatestage(s). e.g., frost -water vapor in the airbecoming a solid onsurfaces without firstgoing through the liquidstage.

Wanting to see if theclass had understoodthe concept, the in-structor asked if any-one could provide anexample of somethingthat went straight froma solid to a gas (ex-pecting "dry ice" as theanswer).

A previously unknownsection of my mindtook control of mymouth and immediatelyemitted the word "burrito."

It took the instructorabout 10 minutes to regain an academiccomposure.

Your kids will always have“Something to do” on thosehot summer days. And because your ABC Pool isvirtually maintenance freeyouʼll enjoy it even more. We offer a full line of aboveground pools with a pricethatʼs right for any budget.www.abcpool.comwww.abcpool.com

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201190

What did Ernie say when his best friend asked him if he wanted some ice cream? "Sure, Bert!"

A man got a blood transfusion, but the hospital ran out of blood - so substituted borscht.Now his heart never skips a beet.

Saturday, June 25th10K Race • 5K Race • One-mile Run or Walk

Race starts from the town square in Mechanic FallsStick around for the many events going on throughout the day for “Community Day” in Mechanic Falls!

For more info about running, volunteering or to register:

www.pathwaysmaine.comor call 753-1457 x2202

Bunny, Moe & Lou

If you want the best selection of Harley's in Maine and the best bike buying experience you can get, then look no further

than L-A Harley Davidson!

Chuck Neal, Bruce Nadeau & Marcel Bolduc

Lori & Susan

Ride to L-A Harley, stretch your legs on thenew covered porch, then

check out the shop, too!

It’s hard to choose just

one...


& Orange Event

Fishing Terminology

TEST - (1) The amount of strength a fishing line affords an anglerwhen fighting fish in a specific weight range. (2) A measure of yourcreativity when trying to come up with yet another explanation forwhy you have come home once again empty-handed.

Fly In

My husband is a doc-tor, and he received anemergency call from apatient.

She had a fly in herear. He suggested anold home remedy."Pour warm olive oilinto your ear and liedown for a few min-utes," he said. "Whenyou lift your head thefly should emerge withthe liquid."

The patient thoughtthat sounded like agood idea, but she stillasked, "Into which earshould I pour the oil?"


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 91783-7039

I read a book on helium once. I couldn't put it down!

Why isn't palindrome spelled the same way backwards?

Building or Remodeling??Check out our Showroom!!

WE STOCK:Monitors • Rinnai • Radiant (Heating Supplies)

Baseboard • 1 & 2 pc Tub & Showers Vanity Tops & Bases • Kitchen & Bath Faucets

Toilets • Repair Parts (Plumbing & Heating)

1525 Lisbon St., Lewiston783-6927 • 1-800-834-5706

www.myselco.com

M-F 7:30-5:30 • Sat. 8-4PLUMBING & HEATING SUPPLIES

Glen A. Gisel7 Main St.

(Junction of Rt. 302 & 121)Raymond

655-4635www.downeastsharpening.com

FOUR SEASON SERVICEDowneast Sharpening

Sales & Service of Outdoor Power Equipment

Complete Sharpening Service

DOLMAR shindaiwa

Fresh ProduceBlackie’s Farm

Open Year Round

996 Sabattus St. • Lewiston • 783-7020

908 Minot Ave. • Auburn • 786-0005

Hours: 6am - 8pm

June is getrid of ants

month!

NO INITIAL CHARGESCancel your annual service today and call...

Maine SeasonalPest Control

Lic # CMA44691/7A7B7E

Andrew FergusonMaster Applicator

(207) [email protected]

Dan Boyd Auction Company

Antiques, House Attics, Basement Items,

One Item or Entire Estates • Complete Cleanouts Available

Sports Items, Guns, Military Items

998-5084 or 754-1009Dan Boyd

State & Federally Licensed

I’ll pay you cash for

your antiques!

**DISTRESS SALES**FREE list w/pics of bank foreclosure properties

& distress saleswww.mainedistressedsales.com

orFree recorded message

1-800-392-8953 • ID #1042Courtesy of Keller Williams Realty/Cathy Manchester 653-7653

DON’T TAILGATE!

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201192

I'm a pessimistic optimist. I expect the worst - that way things can only get better.

How do you write zero in Roman numerals?

I'm right 98% of the time. Who cares about the other 3%? – Uncle Andy

JUNE is a great time to clean out attics, cellars & garages!

Over 10 years making unwanted stuff go away!!

Property Services • Especially ForeclosuresTrash outs, Lock changes & secured, Cellars pumped • Demolition (one room or the whole building)

Roofing, painting porches and other light repairs

Fully Insured Call for FREE Quote!

782-5300 or 576-2501

Trash & Garbage • Furniture & Appliances • Construction & Demolition DebrisBoilers & Scrap Metal • Brush & Trees • Buildings Demolished & Removed

Get it GONE NOW!!• Any part of property cleaned – if you don’t want it, we’ll throw it away…• We bust our butts so you don’t have to!

Farrell EnterprisesFarrell EnterprisesOver 65?

Ask about seniordiscounts.

CALL US FOR A FREE QUOTE!

You are probablyan elementary

school teacher if:

~ You ask guests ifthey have rememberedtheir scarves and mit-tens as they leave yourhome.

~ You move your din-ner partner's glassaway from the edge ofthe table.

~ You ask if anyoneneeds to go to thebathroom as you entera theater with a groupof friends.

~ You hand a tissue toanyone who sneezes.

~ You declare "no cuts"when a shoppersqueezes ahead of youin a checkout line.

~ You ask, "Are yousure you did yourbest?" to the mechanicwho fails to repair yourcar to your satisfaction.

~ You sing the "Alpha-bet Song" to yourselfas you look up a num-ber in the phone book.

~ You say everythingtwice. I mean, you re-peat everything.

"There is no such thingas 'on the way out' aslong as you are stilldoing something interesting and good;you're in the businessbecause you're breathing."

– Louis Armstrong


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 93783-7039 Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

How many weeks are there in a light year?

ANDROSCOGGIN TITLE COMPANY

95 MAIN STREET • AUBURN, MAINE 04210

Title Insurance • Title Searches • Real Estate Closings

Bart Kelsea, President

(207) 784-6413

CCURATE CCOUNTING

& Tax Services, P.A.

• Income Tax Returns • Sales & Use Tax • Payroll Taxes • Accounting Systems

922 Sabattus Street Lewiston • 777-7005(Corner of Sabattus & Garcelon Streets - Across from Val’s Rootbeer)

MELANSON CONSTRUCTION, INC.84 No Name Pond Road, Lewiston, ME • 784-5899

784-5899

PAVING Call for

FREE Estimates

• Residential and

Commercial Paving

• Sweeping

• Seal Coating

Evan Roywith his 23 lb, 46” Pike

Where I caught it...

Ask me no questions, I will tell no

lies.

Jim & Anita Sanuk & ElroyWinckler all of Scarborough

Whenever we're in L/A, we go to the

Village Inn to eat, its wellworth the drive and makes

the trip more than worth it.

The Lobster GirlShannon Wilson

Don't forget to buy a lobster hat when you're

here too, we have two typesto choose from, but this

one's my favorite.

Out ’n About at theVillage Inn

in Auburn

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201194

Can bald people get a hairline fracture?

Mistakes are made from time to time. Without them, some of us would have never been born!

BROTHERS CONSTRUCTION

24´ X 40´ RANCH ROOF$3995 COMPLETE JOB

Email: [email protected] web site: www.LessardRoofing.com

➭ Remove and haul away all roofing debris➭ Apply 6 feet of Certainteed ice shield➭ Apply 15lb. felt paper on entire roof area➭ Install a 30-year Certainteed

architectural shingle on entire roof➭ Installation of ridge vent

to entire ridge

ALL LABOR AND MATERIALS

INCLUDED!

783-7299 or 576-4330

WE DON’T USE SUBCONTRACTORS

(continued on next page)

OUT ʼN ABOUTWITH

MIAMI MIKE

Welcome to summer allyou Uncle Andy’s Digesters!Here we are already in Juneand I truly cannot believehow fast this year is flyingby. We are already half waythrough 2011 and I will befrank with you, not one ofmy New Year’s resolutionshas been completed or ad-hered to. However, I don’tactually recall making anyresolutions to begin with, so,I guess it’s at least partiallycorrect what they say, “Ifyou set the bar low enoughor, I in my case, don’t set itat all, you have a muchhigher rate of success.” Nowdon’t go getting all bent outof shape, I am only joking. Idon’t want any of you recenthigh school and collegegraduates to go setting anybar so low your future goalsconsist of watching all thereruns of Family Feud ondaytime television. Nowplease do not miss-construemy wording here, MiamiMike definitely gets into around or two of the feud andI am still partially convincedthe surveyed population ismade up of five people, oneof whom is Chuck Norrisand his vote counts for 96%of the results.

With summer upon us weall want to look our best andone of the new crazes herein south Florida is teethwhitening. There are kiosksand ads all over, from thetop of taxicabs to the middleof shopping centers. Now Iknow we are all Maineiacsbut that doesn’t mean youneed to go giving yourselfthe back woods whitening.This would consist of you,belly flopping into the pool


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 2011 95783-7039 My frosted flakes melted in the summer.

800-561-8506Oxford/Auburn

If you get mono twice, isn't that stereo?(continued from previous page)

and smiling underwater forlong periods of time, hopingthe chemicals you put inthere over the winter willbrighten up your pearlywhites. Let me stop youright there! First, slowly stepaway from the edge of thepool. Second, immediatelycall ABC Pool & Spa to cleanup the pool from the wintermonths; you never knowwhat may be floating in thereafter a long winter. Third, getto Taylor Brook Dental Asso-ciates and let the profession-als take care of your teeth.You wouldn’t let your wasteremoval specialist be yourinterior decorator would ya?Exactly! Now, once again myfellow digesting friends it’stime to end, vaya con dios(Go With God) or whomeverelse you want to go with.Until next month I am yourMiami Mike and I approvethis message!

Rolex & Timex

A girl was visiting herfriend who had ac-quired two new dogs,and asked her whattheir names were. Thefriend responded bysaying that one wasnamed Rolex and onewas named Timex.

Her friend said, "Who-ever heard of someonenaming dogs like that?"

"Hellooooooooooooo,"answered the girl."They're watch dogs!"

In 1968, Iron Butterflyreleased its classicalbum, Inna-Gadda-Da-Vida. The title ofthe album apparentlyresulted from theslurred speech of themain singer. The lineshould have read: "Inthe Garden of Eden."

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

JUNE 201196I got a jump rope, but it's just a rope. Turns out you have to do the jumping part.

I slept through the alarm this morning. Good thing it was only a small fire.

Mon.-Sat. 9:30am-8pmSun. 12:30-5:30pm



784-8900

For ThoseWho Likeit HOT!

Hot Stu f f

UV ActivatedInquire within for details

Sauna • MassageTanning

Fitness FacilityCardio Classes

Whiten TeethWhile You Tan!!

Become a fan onFacebook

Women’s Self DefenseSeminar

Friday June 10th6-7:30pm

$20 Pre-registration required.Space is limited. Call or stop into reserve your spot!

867 Center Street, Auburn 753-0033

Browse our DEALER INVENTORY

2006 Jeep Commander6 cyl., Auto, 3rd Row, Parking Sensor

06 Audi A4 2.0T Quattro, AWD, Leather Seats, CD, 6-Spd . .$14,99004 Audi A6 2.7T S-Line, 6 Cyl,, 4 Dr., Blue, Air/Cruise/PWDL $11,49003 Audi A6 4.2L, Auto, V8, 97k, Loaded . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$10,49007 BMW 328xi, 4 Dr., Black, Loaded, AWD . . . . . . . . . . . . .$18,99008 Chevy Avalanche LTZ, 4x4, Tow Pkg., Bed Liner . . . . . .$24,99007 Chevy Trailblazer LS, Auto, Tow, 4X4,4 Dr., Gray . . . . . . .$12,49007 Chevy Cobalt LT, Auto, Coupe, 83k, CD, PW/L, Roof . . . . . .$9,49006 Chevy Trailblazer EXT LS, 4x4, Tow Pkg., Running Boards .$11,49005 Chevy Suburban 1500 LS, 96k, 9-Seat, Roof Rack . . . . .$12,99005 Chevy Trailblazer LS, Red, 94k, 4x4, Power Options . . . .$10,99005 Chevy Equinox LT, 68k, 4DR, Auto, Loaded . . . . . . . . . .$11,99004 Chevy Trailblazer LS, 4x4, Auto, 85k . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$9,99003 Chevy Suburban 1500LS, 9 Seats, 4 Dr., Charcoal . . . . .$10,49006 Chrysler 300 Touring, V6, Auto, Black,CD, 4Dr, Loaded .$11,99008 Doge Caliber, Gas Saver, Wagon, CD, Auto, 4 Dr, 75k, Silver . .$9,99007 Dodge Caravan SXT, V6, Auto, Dual Sliders, CD, Blue . . .$10,99007 Dodge Ram 1500 SLT, Quad Cab, Tow Pkg., 86k . . . . . .$17,99006 Dodge Durango Limited, 78k, GPS, Leather, Loaded . . .$15,99005 Dodge Dakota SLT Quad Cab, Gray, 4x4, 84k, CD Changer .$13,99005 Dodge Ram 1500 SLT, V8, 4x4, Silver, Tow Pkg., CD . . . .$12,99004 Dodge Dakota SLT, Quad cab, 4x4, 8 Cyl., Auto, Silver . . .$8,99003 Dodge Durango SLT, Tow Pkg., 3rd Row, Pwr Option . . . .$7,49007 Ford Focus ZX5 SES, Auto., 5 Dr., Red . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$9,49005 Ford F350 4x4, 4Dr, Red, Loaded . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$11,49004 Ford Explorer, V6, 4x4, Auto, Loaded . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$8,99007 GMC Yukon SLT, 8 Cyl., Auto., DVD, Leather, 3rd row . . . .$20,99006 GMC Envoy Denali, Auto, 4x4, Loaded, Black . . .CALL FOR PRICE06 Honda Element, Auto, Blue, 4Dr, Power Options .CALL FOR PRICE

07 Hyundai Sonata Limited, 74K 6 Cyl., Auto., Silver . . . . . .$11,49005 Infinity G35x, V6, Auto, Red, AWD . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$8,99007 Jeep Commander Sport, 79k, 4x4, Blue, 3rd Row . . . . .$13,99006 Jeep Commander, 6 Cyl., Auto., 3rd Row, Parking Sensor . . . .$12,49006 Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo, 6 Cyl., Auto., Red, 4X4 . . .$12,49006 KIA Sportage EX, 85k, Running Boards, 4x4, Auto . . . . .$11,99007 Mazda3 Sport, One-Owner, 5-Speed, 68k, Gray, Roof, 4Dr., $12,49008 Mercury Milan AWD, 4 Dr., Black . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$12,49004 MINI Cooper S, Super Charged 6-Speed, 86k . . . . . . . . .$11,99005 Saab 93, Auto, 83k, Silver, Loaded . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$9,49006 Saturn Ion 3, 35MPG, 5-Speed, Coupe . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$7,99007 Scion TC, 89k, Auto, Roof, Premium Wheels . . . . . . . . . .$10,99008 Toyota Tacoma TRD, V6, 4x4, 5-Speed, Black, 54k . . . .$20,49004 Toyota 4Runner SR5, Tow Pkg. Running Boards, 4x4 . . . . . . .$15,49007 Volvo S60, AWD, Auto, 5Cyl., Grey, Loaded . . . . . . . . . . .$12,99005 Volvo XC90 T6, 4x4, V6, Black, 3rd Row, Loaded . . . . . .$13,99005 Volvo S60 R, AWD, Red, Roof, Loaded . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$12,49005 Volvo V50 Wagon, 55k, Red Loaded . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$12,49008 VW Jetta SE, Auto, Loaded, Black . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$12,99008 VW Jetta Wolfsburg Edition, 79k, Auto, CD, Moonroof . . .$14,99007 VW Jetta, 90k, 5-Speed, White, CD Changer, Loaded, Roof . .$11,49007 VW Rabbit PZEV, Red, 5-Speed, 43k, CD Changer, 4Dr. . .$11,49007 VW Rabbit PZEV, 43K, 5 Speed . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$11,49005 VW Passat GLS 1.8T Wagon, 91k, Auto, . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$8,99005 VW Passat, Green , 48k, Power Options, Auto . . . . . . . .$11,99005 VW Jetta GLS PZEV, 5-Speed, 96k, Power Options . . . . . .$8,99004 VW Passat, Grey, Auto, 71k, Power Options . . . . . . . . . . .$8,99003 VW Passat GLX VR6, Leather, Loaded, Auto, 90k . . . . . . .$7,990

GOT GAS?You will now!

$1,500GAS CARDwith purchase of this vehicle only

must mention this ad

$12,490

Uncle Andy's Digest 6.11

Documents

Transcript of Uncle Andy's Digest 6.11