The Grill Quotient
An examination of mouth bling as it relates to good BBQ
Grill
No grill
Good BBQ?
As grill size decreases, BBQ generally improves
Probably smokes a mean fatty brisket
Not so much
Flavor? I ain’t think so.
The Uncle Billy’s Exception
The Uncle Billy’s Hypothesis
• Where vibe data is low, BBQ remains unaffected by grill size
• In other words, absence of a grill does not necessarily suggest bad BBQ
• Data suggests both absence of grill and lame-ass vibe coincides with bad BBQ
Vibe vs. BBQ among lesser-grilled participants
Conclusion
• Where bling coverage is concerned: the less the teef, the better the beef
• Ya grill gleamin (say what), eyes stay low from da cheifin’ (“Grillz,” Nelly 2005)
• Relationship validated by presence of vibe
Bibliography:
• http://www.14kgoldteeth.com/• www.sojones.com• Sweatsuit, Nelly, 2005; Derrty Ent., Universal
Special Thanks To:• Sam (long live you, O Magnificently Jeweled King
of the East Side)• Aaron and Stacy Franklin • Danny (seriously, please don’t tell Sam we said
your BBQ was better)• Sterling at Ray’s (sorry we were so cheap; we’ll
be back when we think standing in Franklin’s 2-hour line is dumb)
• Austin’s Fearless Critic panel, for perseverance and strength in the name of science
The End
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