CLC, 3/8/16, Early Head Start Deb Weiner, LICSW
Temper Tantrums & Power Struggles
Goals for today:• Talking about “normal”• Increasing good days• Minimizing tantrums• Dealing well with
tantrums
Parents’ Goals:What one thing would you like to
learn or try at home with your toddler?
You have a short-term goal to increase peace and compliance in your
household. You have a long-term goal of developing a healthy, happy, well-
behaved child… At times, these are in conflict!
Expectations… What is normal for toddlers?
What questions do you have about whether or not something is “normal” with your child?
• Saying• Messy=Fun!• “Mine”= Toddlers’ Rules• Curiosity=Into Everything• Slow: to eat, dress, clean up• Fast: restless, limited attention span• Tantrums!
Accepting Reality
Allowing Feelings While Managing Behaviors and Maintaining
Boundaries
What works for you to minimize or deal with tantrums?
• Make Routines; Give Warnings
• Set Limits: Clear and Simple• Offer (Limited) Choices• “Catch” Your Child Being
Good• Ignore “Bad” Behavior
(unless unsafe)
What Can You Do?
What Can You Do? Part 2• Tell your child what she CAN do• Model behavior you want to
see• Talk to your child at eye level• Use simple, positive directions• Use “matter of fact” tone• Have a countdown to choice of
you do it or mom/dad will• Don’t try to reason during
tantrum• Remain calm, consistent• Avoid overtiredness, “hangry”
Setting up Environment for Success• Regular routines; meet basic needs
first!• Schedule positive activities that your
child can do and enjoys!• Appropriate activities• Appropriate supervision
Types of Tantrums: • Frustration• Exhaustion• Temper
3 Predictable Phases of Tantrums
1. Yell/Scream2. Throw (Self or objects or both)3. Cry/Whine
Wait until Phase 3 to actively intervene, except for safety
Video Clip – To See the 3 Phases…
Let’s PracticeA challenging situation we can brainstorm, discuss or try role-
playing?
• What one thing will you try to set up your home for success?
• What one thing will you do to handle the next tantrum that does occur?
• Write down on index card and post where you can see it!
• Ask for help.
Thanks for your attention!
Remember to practice your “one thing” a few minutes each day!
Deb Weiner, [email protected]
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