SOC200SOC200Marriage and FamilyMarriage and Family
WORKSHOP 3WORKSHOP 3
““The Family Life Cycle”The Family Life Cycle”Instructor: Glenn JohnsonInstructor: Glenn Johnson
Devotions & PrayerDevotions & Prayer99 Two are better than one, because they have a good Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: return for their work: 1010 If one falls down, his friend If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has
no one to help him up! no one to help him up! 1111 Also, if two lie down Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? warm alone? 1212 Though one may be overpowered, Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, NIVEcclesiastes 4:9-12, NIV
What is God’s intention for each person within a family?
TO MARRY OR COHABIT: What Difference TO MARRY OR COHABIT: What Difference Does Marriage Make?Does Marriage Make?
Marriage brings challenges to IDENTITY and Marriage brings challenges to IDENTITY and COMMUNICATIONCOMMUNICATION
IMPORTANT CHANGES THAT BEING MARRIED IMPORTANT CHANGES THAT BEING MARRIED WILL MAKEWILL MAKESelf ImageSelf Image
Partner RelationshipPartner RelationshipRelationships to OthersRelationships to Others
Legal ChangesLegal Changes
TO MARRY OR COHABIT: What Difference TO MARRY OR COHABIT: What Difference Does Marriage Make?Does Marriage Make?
TO MARRY OR COHABIT: What Difference TO MARRY OR COHABIT: What Difference Does Marriage Make?Does Marriage Make?
CHANGES TO SELF IMAGECHANGES TO SELF IMAGE
Married people take on NEW PATTERNS of Married people take on NEW PATTERNS of thinking about themselvesthinking about themselves
SPOUSE becomes an SPOUSE becomes an extended self or extended self or
extended conscienceextended conscience
Changes the way people spend TIME and Changes the way people spend TIME and MONEYMONEY
TO MARRY OR COHABIT: What Difference TO MARRY OR COHABIT: What Difference Does Marriage Make?Does Marriage Make?
CHANGES IN THE RELATIONSHIPCHANGES IN THE RELATIONSHIP
DISENCHANTMENT in early yearsDISENCHANTMENT in early years
TO MARRY OR COHABIT: What Difference TO MARRY OR COHABIT: What Difference Does Marriage Make?Does Marriage Make?
CHANGES IN THE OTHER RELATIONSHIPSCHANGES IN THE OTHER RELATIONSHIPS
You do indeed MARRY THE FAMILY…You do indeed MARRY THE FAMILY…
TO MARRY OR COHABIT: What Difference TO MARRY OR COHABIT: What Difference Does Marriage Make?Does Marriage Make?
CHANGES IN THE OTHER RELATIONSHIPSCHANGES IN THE OTHER RELATIONSHIPS
PROXIMITY TO SPOUSE’S FAMILY OF ORIGINPROXIMITY TO SPOUSE’S FAMILY OF ORIGINNEGOTIATIONS are neededNEGOTIATIONS are needed
TO MARRY OR COHABIT: What Difference TO MARRY OR COHABIT: What Difference Does Marriage Make?Does Marriage Make?
LEGAL CHANGESLEGAL CHANGES
Specific Laws: Property and DebtSpecific Laws: Property and Debt
DISADVANTAGES OF LIVING TOGETHER DISADVANTAGES OF LIVING TOGETHER WITHOUT MARRIAGE:WITHOUT MARRIAGE:
-No jointly held insurance, tax advantages or -No jointly held insurance, tax advantages or other benefits; living expenses may be higherother benefits; living expenses may be higher
PARENTING ISSUESPARENTING ISSUES
GOAL OF PARENTINGGOAL OF PARENTING
What is the Goal?What is the Goal?
For children to mature into healthy, For children to mature into healthy, independent, productive, self-independent, productive, self-
disciplined, competent members of disciplined, competent members of society society
PARENTING ISSUESPARENTING ISSUES
DEVELOPMENTAL ISSUESDEVELOPMENTAL ISSUES
For children to mature into healthy, For children to mature into healthy, independent, productive, self-independent, productive, self-
disciplined, competent members of disciplined, competent members of society society
6 Stages of Parenting Ellen
Galinsky
1. Parental Image Stage2. Nurturing Stage3. Authority Stage
4. Interpretive Stage5. Interdependent Stage
6. Final Stage
PARENTING ISSUESPARENTING ISSUES
BOUNDARY TRANSITIONS FOR NEW BOUNDARY TRANSITIONS FOR NEW PARENTSPARENTS
Family and FriendsFamily and FriendsThe MarriageThe Marriage
Work and FamilyWork and FamilyRolesRoles
New Areas of ConflictNew Areas of Conflict
PARENTING ISSUESPARENTING ISSUES
PARENT/ADOLESCENT RELATIONSHIPPARENT/ADOLESCENT RELATIONSHIP
ADOLESCENCE: a ADOLESCENCE: a construct of the 20construct of the 20thth
centurycentury
ERIC ERICKSON: a ERIC ERICKSON: a time of crisis when time of crisis when young people must young people must develop a sense of develop a sense of personal identity personal identity
while avoiding role while avoiding role confusionconfusion
PARENTING ISSUESPARENTING ISSUES
CHILD ABUSE AND NEGLECTCHILD ABUSE AND NEGLECT
Causes are not well understoodCauses are not well understood
PARENTING ISSUESPARENTING ISSUES
TIPS FOR MORE EFFECTIVE PARENTINGTIPS FOR MORE EFFECTIVE PARENTING
ConsistencyConsistencyConsequencesConsequences
Children Need ChoicesChildren Need ChoicesChildren Need To Know What’s Expected of ThemChildren Need To Know What’s Expected of Them
Discipline Must Fit The CrimeDiscipline Must Fit The CrimeDo Not ThreatenDo Not Threaten
Remain CalmRemain CalmDo Not Expect a Young Child Who Is Hungry/Tired to Do Not Expect a Young Child Who Is Hungry/Tired to
Remember Rules or Obey Them Remember Rules or Obey Them Curfews: Older Children Can Be Involved In Determining Curfews: Older Children Can Be Involved In Determining
When to Be HomeWhen to Be HomeKnow Childrens Friends and Their ParentsKnow Childrens Friends and Their Parents
NICHOL’S STAGES OF FAMILY NICHOL’S STAGES OF FAMILY DEVELOPMENTDEVELOPMENT
-William Nichols: 4 Stages in Marital Life -William Nichols: 4 Stages in Marital Life Cycle & The Changes Needing to Take Cycle & The Changes Needing to Take
Place in Each Stage Across the MarriagePlace in Each Stage Across the Marriage
Identified These As CORE TASKS Grouped Identified These As CORE TASKS Grouped in 5 Areasin 5 Areas
1.1. CommitmentCommitment2.2. CaringCaring
3.3. CommunicationCommunication4.4. Conflict/CompromiseConflict/Compromise
5.5. ContractContract
NICHOL’S STAGES OF FAMILY NICHOL’S STAGES OF FAMILY DEVELOPMENTDEVELOPMENT
STAGE 1: THE BEGINNING-Mating and STAGE 1: THE BEGINNING-Mating and MarriageMarriage
CORE TASKSCORE TASKS
-Development of affectionate and sexually -Development of affectionate and sexually satisfactory relationshipsatisfactory relationship
-Determining if there is a sufficient -Determining if there is a sufficient amount of caring to proceed to amount of caring to proceed to
marriagemarriage
NICHOL’S STAGES OF FAMILY NICHOL’S STAGES OF FAMILY DEVELOPMENTDEVELOPMENT
STAGE 2: EARLY YEARS-Expanding the STAGE 2: EARLY YEARS-Expanding the BaseBase
CORE TASKSCORE TASKS
-Deepening Loyalty To One Another-Deepening Loyalty To One Another
NICHOL’S STAGES OF FAMILY NICHOL’S STAGES OF FAMILY DEVELOPMENTDEVELOPMENT
STAGE 3: MIDDLE YEARS: Affirmation & STAGE 3: MIDDLE YEARS: Affirmation & PreparationPreparation
CORE TASKSCORE TASKS
-Maintaining solid couple boundary and -Maintaining solid couple boundary and bondbond
-Communication and conflict resolution-Communication and conflict resolution
NICHOL’S STAGES OF FAMILY NICHOL’S STAGES OF FAMILY DEVELOPMENTDEVELOPMENT
STAGE 4: LATER YEARS-Consolidation STAGE 4: LATER YEARS-Consolidation and Celebrationand Celebration
CORE TASKSCORE TASKS
-Support in search for meaning and -Support in search for meaning and remaining productive member of remaining productive member of
societysocietyWELL-BEINGWELL-BEING
-2030: 65 and older=20% of population-2030: 65 and older=20% of population
-50% of those 65-69 say it’s best years-50% of those 65-69 say it’s best years
MID-LIFE: CRISIS OR TRANSITION?MID-LIFE: CRISIS OR TRANSITION?
MONUMENT IN MODERN AMERICAN MONUMENT IN MODERN AMERICAN SOCIETYSOCIETY
MID-LIFE: CRISIS OR TRANSITION?MID-LIFE: CRISIS OR TRANSITION?
SIGNS OF A MID-LIFE TRANSITIONSIGNS OF A MID-LIFE TRANSITIONQuestioning meaning of lifeQuestioning meaning of life
General discontent with one’s lifestyle that has General discontent with one’s lifestyle that has previously provided happinesspreviously provided happiness
Confusion about who one is and where one’s life is Confusion about who one is and where one’s life is goinggoing
Questioning decisions that were made in the pastQuestioning decisions that were made in the pastGreatly increased or decreased ambition or driveGreatly increased or decreased ambition or drive
Boredom or discontent with people or activities that Boredom or discontent with people or activities that have been previously enjoyedhave been previously enjoyed
Day dreaming, irritability or unexpected anger that is Day dreaming, irritability or unexpected anger that is different that earlier lifedifferent that earlier life
Feeling adventurous with the desire to do something Feeling adventurous with the desire to do something completely differentcompletely different
Giving in to alcohol, food or drug compulsionsGiving in to alcohol, food or drug compulsionsGreatly increased or decreased sexual desire with Greatly increased or decreased sexual desire with
sexual affairs especially with someone much youngersexual affairs especially with someone much younger
MID-LIFE: CRISIS OR TRANSITION?MID-LIFE: CRISIS OR TRANSITION?
MENOPAUSEMENOPAUSEBoth men and women go through Both men and women go through
hormonal changes that affect them hormonal changes that affect them physically and emotionally, signalling physically and emotionally, signalling the end of one’s reproductive years.the end of one’s reproductive years.
BOWEN THEORYBOWEN THEORY
Dr. Murray BowenDr. Murray Bowen(Refer to attachment in email)(Refer to attachment in email)
Came to discover the family Came to discover the family as and EMOTIONAL UNITas and EMOTIONAL UNIT
1. Triangles2. Nuclear (or Core) Family Emotional Process3. Family Projection Process4. Multigenerational Transmission Process5. Differentiation6. Sibling Position7. Emotional Cutoff8. Emotional Process in Society
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