7/21/2019 Jokes

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He: “I want to buy something for my mother- in-law.”Shop-assistant: “Bargain department on thesecond oor.”

Billy was a problem child and the psychiatristsaid that he must be humored.“I’ll get you anything you want to eat,” said thefather.

 he child thought for a moment:“I want an earthworm”In the bac! yard the father found one and put itbefore Billy.“I want it coo!ed,” said Billy. he father boiled it.

 he child loo!ed at it and said: “"ou eat half andI’ll eat the other half.”

 he father managed to swallow his half of theearthworm. #uddenly Billy let out a wild cry: “"ouate my half$”

“%a!e up$ %a!e up$”“%hy& %hat’s the trouble nurse&”“I forgot to gi'e you these sleeping pills.”

Betty (Twenty years old): %hat do you prefer ina man, intelligence, wealth, or appearance&”Mary (Forty years old): “*ppearance, and thesooner the better.”

Mr. Jones: "ou shouldn’t ha'e told my wife whattime I came in last night.”Maid: I didn’t, sir. I +ust said I was so busygetting brea!fast that I didn’t notice the cloc!.”

* woman had prepared a duc! for dinner. *s shehad to go out on some errands, she said to herhusband:“*lfred, will you put the duc! on in half an hourand it will be ready by the time I get bac!&”*lfred did as he was told. hen he sat in his chairand began to read the paper. e was +ustnishing it when he felt something pulling at theleg of his trousers e loo!ed down.“ey, mister”, /uac!ed the duc!, “would youmind putting another penny in the gas, or elsegi'e me bac! my feathers. I’m free0ing”

*t a uni'ersity e1amination, the professornoticed one student scratching his head.“2oes that si1th /uestion bother you, 3ones&” heas!ed.“4ot a bit, sir,” replied the student. “he troubleI’m ha'ing is with the answer.”

He: “I want to buy something for my mother- in-law.”Shop-assistant: “Bargain department on thesecond oor.”

Billy was a problem child and the psychiatristsaid that he must be humored.“I’ll get you anything you want to eat,” said thefather.

 he child thought for a moment:“I want an earthworm”In the bac! yard the father found one and put itbefore Billy.“I want it coo!ed,” said Billy. he father boiled it.

 he child loo!ed at it and said: “"ou eat half andI’ll eat the other half.”

 he father managed to swallow his half of theearthworm. #uddenly Billy let out a wild cry: “"ouate my half$”

“%a!e up$ %a!e up$”“%hy& %hat’s the trouble nurse&”“I forgot to gi'e you these sleeping pills.”

Betty (Twenty years old): %hat do you prefer ina man, intelligence, wealth, or appearance&”Mary (Forty years old): “*ppearance, and thesooner the better.”

Mr. Jones: "ou shouldn’t ha'e told my wife whattime I came in last night.”Maid: I didn’t, sir. I +ust said I was so busygetting brea!fast that I didn’t notice the cloc!.”

* woman had prepared a duc! for dinner. *s shehad to go out on some errands, she said to herhusband:“*lfred, will you put the duc! on in half an hourand it will be ready by the time I get bac!&”*lfred did as he was told. hen he sat in his chairand began to read the paper. e was +ustnishing it when he felt something pulling at theleg of his trousers e loo!ed down.“ey, mister”, /uac!ed the duc!, “would youmind putting another penny in the gas, or elsegi'e me bac! my feathers. I’m free0ing”

*t a uni'ersity e1amination, the professornoticed one student scratching his head.“2oes that si1th /uestion bother you, 3ones&” heas!ed.“4ot a bit, sir,” replied the student. “he troubleI’m ha'ing is with the answer.”