Jokes
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7/21/2019 Jokes http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/jokes-56da576c0e248 1/1 He: “I want to buy something for my mother- in- law.” Shop-assistant: “Bargain department on the second oor.” Billy was a problem child and the psychiatrist said that he must be humored. “I’ll get you anything you want to eat,” said the father. he child thought for a moment: “I want an earthworm” In the bac! yard the father found one and put it before Billy. “I want it coo!ed,” said Billy. he father boiled it. he child loo!ed at it and said: “"ou eat half and I’ll eat the other half.” he father managed to swallow his half of the earthworm. #uddenly Billy let out a wild cry: “"ou ate my half$” “%a!e up$ %a!e up$” “%hy& %hat’s the trouble nurse&” “I forgot to gi'e you these sleeping pills.” Betty (Twenty years old): %hat do you prefer in a man, intelligence, wealth, or appearance&” Mary (Forty years old): “*ppearance, and the sooner the better.” Mr. Jones: "ou shouldn’t ha'e told my wife what time I came in last night.” Maid: I didn’t, sir. I +ust said I was so busy getting brea!fast that I didn’t notice the cloc!.” * woman had prepared a duc! for dinner. *s she had to go out on some errands, she said to her husband: “*lfred, will you put the duc! on in half an hour and it will be ready by the time I get bac!&” *lfred did as he was told. hen he sat in his chair and began to read the paper. e was +ust nishing it when he felt something pulling at the leg of his trousers e loo!ed down. “ey, mister”, /uac!ed the duc!, “would you mind putting another penny in the gas, or else gi'e me bac! my feathers. I’m free0ing” *t a uni'ersity e1amination, the professor noticed one student scratching his head. “2oes that si1th /uestion bother you, 3ones&” he as!ed. “4ot a bit, sir,” replied the student. “he trouble I’m ha'ing is with the answer.” He: “I want to buy something for my mother- in- law.” Shop-assistant: “Bargain department on the second oor.” Billy was a problem child and the psychiatrist said that he must be humored. “I’ll get you anything you want to eat,” said the father. he child thought for a moment: “I want an earthworm” In the bac! yard the father found one and put it before Billy. “I want it coo!ed,” said Billy. he father boiled it. he child loo!ed at it and said: “"ou eat half and I’ll eat the other half.” he father managed to swallow his half of the earthworm. #uddenly Billy let out a wild cry: “"ou ate my half$” “%a!e up$ %a!e up$” “%hy& %hat’s the trouble nurse&” “I forgot to gi'e you these sleeping pills.” Betty (Twenty years old): %hat do you prefer in a man, intelligence, wealth, or appearance&” Mary (Forty years old): “*ppearance, and the sooner the better.” Mr. Jones: "ou shouldn’t ha'e told my wife what time I came in last night.” Maid: I didn’t, sir. I +ust said I was so busy getting brea!fast that I didn’t notice the cloc!.” * woman had prepared a duc! for dinner. *s she had to go out on some errands, she said to her husband: “*lfred, will you put the duc! on in half an hour and it will be ready by the time I get bac!&” *lfred did as he was told. hen he sat in his chair and began to read the paper. e was +ust nishing it when he felt something pulling at the leg of his trousers e loo!ed down. “ey, mister”, /uac!ed the duc!, “would you mind putting another penny in the gas, or else gi'e me bac! my feathers. I’m free0ing” *t a uni'ersity e1amination, the professor noticed one student scratching his head. “2oes that si1th /uestion bother you, 3ones&” he as!ed. “4ot a bit, sir,” replied the student. “he trouble I’m ha'ing is with the answer.”
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jokes for english aquisition
Transcript of Jokes
7/21/2019 Jokes
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/jokes-56da576c0e248 1/1
He: “I want to buy something for my mother- in-law.”Shop-assistant: “Bargain department on thesecond oor.”
Billy was a problem child and the psychiatristsaid that he must be humored.“I’ll get you anything you want to eat,” said thefather.
he child thought for a moment:“I want an earthworm”In the bac! yard the father found one and put itbefore Billy.“I want it coo!ed,” said Billy. he father boiled it.
he child loo!ed at it and said: “"ou eat half andI’ll eat the other half.”
he father managed to swallow his half of theearthworm. #uddenly Billy let out a wild cry: “"ouate my half$”
“%a!e up$ %a!e up$”“%hy& %hat’s the trouble nurse&”“I forgot to gi'e you these sleeping pills.”
Betty (Twenty years old): %hat do you prefer ina man, intelligence, wealth, or appearance&”Mary (Forty years old): “*ppearance, and thesooner the better.”
Mr. Jones: "ou shouldn’t ha'e told my wife whattime I came in last night.”Maid: I didn’t, sir. I +ust said I was so busygetting brea!fast that I didn’t notice the cloc!.”
* woman had prepared a duc! for dinner. *s shehad to go out on some errands, she said to herhusband:“*lfred, will you put the duc! on in half an hourand it will be ready by the time I get bac!&”*lfred did as he was told. hen he sat in his chairand began to read the paper. e was +ustnishing it when he felt something pulling at theleg of his trousers e loo!ed down.“ey, mister”, /uac!ed the duc!, “would youmind putting another penny in the gas, or elsegi'e me bac! my feathers. I’m free0ing”
*t a uni'ersity e1amination, the professornoticed one student scratching his head.“2oes that si1th /uestion bother you, 3ones&” heas!ed.“4ot a bit, sir,” replied the student. “he troubleI’m ha'ing is with the answer.”
He: “I want to buy something for my mother- in-law.”Shop-assistant: “Bargain department on thesecond oor.”
Billy was a problem child and the psychiatristsaid that he must be humored.“I’ll get you anything you want to eat,” said thefather.
he child thought for a moment:“I want an earthworm”In the bac! yard the father found one and put itbefore Billy.“I want it coo!ed,” said Billy. he father boiled it.
he child loo!ed at it and said: “"ou eat half andI’ll eat the other half.”
he father managed to swallow his half of theearthworm. #uddenly Billy let out a wild cry: “"ouate my half$”
“%a!e up$ %a!e up$”“%hy& %hat’s the trouble nurse&”“I forgot to gi'e you these sleeping pills.”
Betty (Twenty years old): %hat do you prefer ina man, intelligence, wealth, or appearance&”Mary (Forty years old): “*ppearance, and thesooner the better.”
Mr. Jones: "ou shouldn’t ha'e told my wife whattime I came in last night.”Maid: I didn’t, sir. I +ust said I was so busygetting brea!fast that I didn’t notice the cloc!.”
* woman had prepared a duc! for dinner. *s shehad to go out on some errands, she said to herhusband:“*lfred, will you put the duc! on in half an hourand it will be ready by the time I get bac!&”*lfred did as he was told. hen he sat in his chairand began to read the paper. e was +ustnishing it when he felt something pulling at theleg of his trousers e loo!ed down.“ey, mister”, /uac!ed the duc!, “would youmind putting another penny in the gas, or elsegi'e me bac! my feathers. I’m free0ing”
*t a uni'ersity e1amination, the professornoticed one student scratching his head.“2oes that si1th /uestion bother you, 3ones&” heas!ed.“4ot a bit, sir,” replied the student. “he troubleI’m ha'ing is with the answer.”
