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The Standard fart is quite simply an average every day fart suitable for most events and in the company of most everyone. It is dry in
nature, but rarely exhibits a bouquet that will inspire jealousy among friends or co-workers. It belongs to the same family as The Ripper, and often times only lacks a bit of confidence and pressure to achieve this next level. An example of the standard fart may be heard
by clicking the button below.
Standard Fart
The Nervous Fart is only executable intentionally by farting masters, as it is
normally a reaction to an unpleasant situation rather than something you can
practice. You may have heard one of these at a kindergarden concert or during a company meeting where layoffs were
mentioned. One of the characteristics of this fart is the high pitch at the end caused
by the clamping of butt cheeks once it is heard by the nervous culprit.
The Nervous Fart
The Cough-Fart Combo is a premeditated activity undertaken by one trying to mask his activities. This technique is often used in the presence of women; especially those who don’t
understand that farts are funny. Warning: The Cough-Fart Combo can be a double edged sword, especially when your
timing is a bit off, or the fart lasts longer than expected!
The Cough-Fart Combo
The Wet One will score you huge points with the lads. Mostly because they’re hoping you
just shit yourself. The wet one is often followed by an inspection of one’s underpants for damage. The Sticky One is funny for all
but the perpetrator, and usually always results in the need for some clean-up.
The Wet One (AKA-Stickey Fart)
This fart is very standard and dry in nature but is, as mentioned earlier, pushed out with a bit more confidence. It is usually quite well
respected if it is heard by unsuspecting passers-by or blown in a church or quiet place.
It is especially effective when used to punctuate the last word of a boring speaker’s
lecture.
The Power Fart
This fart is difficult to describe. It is quite
high pitched in nature, and often times is
associated with a tingling vibratory feeling in
the crotch area. It can be used to
significantly lengthen a ripper or standard
fart if you are going for duration.
The Soprano
My personal favourite: The Ripper.It is strong, intense and gives you a good deal of confidence that all have enjoyed
or at least experienced it.It is not only loud, and with variable
tones, but carries with it the reputation as being quite stinky. This one is ideally suited for a car journey, especially with
child-lock electric windows.
The Ripper
Yes!
Good one...
Baby, did you just rip aFart?
Here you can play with all of them!
Ripp
er
Sopr
ano
Powe
r
Wet
One
(St
icky
One
)
Coug
h-Fa
rt C
ombo
Ner
vous
Stan
dard
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