Download - Alex 1 Chediak 1 1 1 Parent , Child 1 Discussion 1 Guide 1 ... · Alex 1Chediak 1 1 1Parent ,Child 1Discussion 1Guide 1 Thriving 1at 1College 1 Copyright 1© 12012, 1Alex 1Chediak

AlexȱChediakȱ ȱȱParentȬChildȱDiscussionȱGuideȱ ThrivingȱatȱCollegeȱ

Copyrightȱ©ȱ2012,ȱAlexȱChediak www.alexchediak.com

Talkingȱtoȱourȱchildrenȱaboutȱgoingȱtoȱcollegeȱcanȱbeȱoneȱofȱtheȱtrickiestȱthingsȱwe’reȱcalledȱtoȱdoȱasȱparents.ȱWeȱcareȱaboutȱtheirȱfuture.ȱWeȱwantȱthingsȱtoȱgoȱwellȱforȱthem.ȱButȱifȱwe’reȱhonest,ȱit’sȱalsoȱaȱtimeȱofȱconcern:ȱWillȱmyȱchild’sȱChristianȱfaithȱbeȱstrongȱenoughȱtoȱwithstandȱtheȱtestsȱofȱcollege—theȱpartyȱscene,ȱtheȱatheisticȱprofessorsȱseekingȱtoȱbrainwashȱfreshmen?ȱWillȱtheyȱmanageȱtheirȱtimeȱwell,ȱorȱbeȱoverwhelmedȱwithȱtheȱamountȱofȱfreedomȱthatȱawaitsȱthem?ȱȱWillȱtheyȱmakeȱsolid,ȱlifeȬlongȱfriends,ȱorȱbeȱlonelyȱandȱgetȱinȱwithȱtheȱwrongȱcrowd?ȱȱWillȱtheyȱbeȱhappy,ȱsuccessful,ȱandȱperseveringȱinȱtheirȱstudies,ȱorȱwillȱtheyȱwanderȱaimlesslyȱfromȱoneȱmajorȱtoȱtheȱnext?ȱȱȱȱWeȱoftenȱwonderȱifȱtheirȱchoicesȱareȱgoingȱtoȱmatchȱwhatȱourȱchoicesȱwouldȱbeȱforȱthem.ȱWeȱmayȱhaveȱnurturedȱhopesȱandȱdreamsȱforȱthemȱ

sinceȱtheyȱwereȱyoung.ȱȱ“IȱjustȱknowȱMichaelȱisȱgoingȱtoȱfollowȱhisȱfather’sȱfootstepsȱandȱbecomeȱaȱdoctor.ȱHe’sȱalwaysȱbeenȱsoȱbright.”ȱOr,ȱ“I’mȱsureȱAmandaȱwillȱwantȱtoȱgoȱtoȱcollegeȱsomewhereȱnearȱhome.ȱWe’veȱalwaysȱbeenȱsoȱclose.”ȱȱȱAndȱsomeȱofȱusȱareȱwonderingȱifȱourȱhighȱschoolȱchildrenȱareȱgoingȱtoȱeverȱstartȱthinkingȱaboutȱcollege!ȱȱȱThrivingȱatȱCollegeȱisȱaȱbookȱyouȱcanȱreadȱwithȱyourȱteenagerȱtowardȱtheȱendȱofȱhighȱschool.ȱItȱcanȱserveȱasȱaȱspringboardȱforȱdiscussionsȱasȱyouȱseekȱtoȱraiseȱyourȱsonȱorȱdaughterȱtoȱgraduateȱcollegeȬready.ȱȱTheȱbookȱcontainsȱlotsȱofȱdiscussionȱstarterȱquestionsȱatȱtheȱendȱofȱeveryȱchapter,ȱwhichȱIȱhopeȱareȱhelpfulȱforȱyou.ȱȱThisȱbriefȱfileȱisȱanȱadditionalȱresourceȱforȱyou—I’veȱputȱtogetherȱaȱfewȱconversationȱstartersȱtoȱ“breakȱtheȱice”ȱasȱyouȱtalkȱwithȱyourȱcollegeȬboundȱchildȱaboutȱtransitioningȱtoȱyoungȱadulthoodȱandȱpreparingȱtoȱthriveȱatȱcollege.ȱȱIntroductionȱȱ1.ȱDoȱyouȱwantȱtoȱgoȱtoȱcollegeȱwhenȱyouȱgraduateȱhighȱschool?ȱȱWhyȱorȱwhyȱnot?ȱȱ2.ȱWhatȱareȱsomeȱwaysȱyou’reȱtakingȱonȱmoreȱresponsibilityȱasȱyouȱgetȱolder?ȱȱDoȱyouȱfindȱitȱfreeing?ȱChallenging?ȱStressful?ȱȱ



Chapterȱ1:ȱDon’tȱChuckȱYourȱFaithȱ–ȱGrowȱCloserȱToȱGodȱȱ1.ȱWhereȱareȱyouȱat,ȱpersonally,ȱwithȱregardȱtoȱChristianity?ȱȱBeȱhonest.ȱAreȱyouȱboredȱwithȱit?ȱDoȱyouȱhaveȱanyȱdoubtsȱaboutȱitȱbeingȱtrue?ȱȱAreȱthereȱanyȱquestionsȱyou’veȱbeenȱdyingȱtoȱask,ȱbutȱdon’tȱthinkȱit’sȱOK,ȱorȱthatȱanyoneȱwillȱhaveȱanȱanswer?ȱȱȱ2.ȱMostȱpeopleȱatȱaȱsecularȱcampusȱwon’tȱshareȱourȱvalues,ȱagreeȱwithȱourȱmorals,ȱorȱbelieveȱtheȱsameȱthingsȱweȱdoȱaboutȱJesus.ȱHowȱdoȱyouȱthinkȱthatȱwillȱfeel?ȱȱȱ3.ȱWhatȱdoȱyouȱdoȱnowȱtoȱmaintainȱyourȱrelationshipȱwithȱJesusȱChrist?ȱDoȱyouȱthinkȱyou’llȱbeȱableȱtoȱkeepȱdoingȱthoseȱthingsȱonȱcampus?ȱȱȱ4.ȱDoȱyouȱhaveȱanyȱfriendsȱwhoȱareȱlivingȱaȱdoubleȱlife—livingȱoneȱwayȱinȱfrontȱofȱtheirȱparentsȱandȱchurchȱfriends,ȱandȱanotherȱwayȱwhenȱnobodyȱfromȱchurchȱisȱlooking?ȱȱȱChapterȱ2:ȱDon’tȱTreatȱCollegeȱAsȱifȱitȱWereȱHighȱSchoolȱȱȱ1.ȱDoȱyouȱmakeȱaȱhabitȱofȱstartingȱyourȱhomeworkȱrightȱaway,ȱorȱdoȱyouȱprocrastinate?ȱȱȱȱȱ2.ȱIsȱrecreationȱ/ȱfunȱtimeȱimportant?ȱWhatȱdoȱyouȱlikeȱtoȱdoȱtoȱtakeȱaȱbreak?ȱȱȱ3.ȱDoȱyouȱjustȱendȱupȱdoingȱthingsȱ“byȱaccident,”ȱorȱareȱyouȱbeingȱintentionalȱinȱchoosingȱwhatȱyouȱdo?ȱȱȱȱ4.ȱDoȱanyȱofȱtheȱthingsȱyouȱenjoyȱbecomeȱaddictiveȱorȱdistracting?ȱDoȱtheyȱmakeȱitȱhardȱforȱyouȱtoȱshiftȱbackȱtoȱschoolworkȱorȱchores?ȱȱȱȱ5.ȱHowȱdoȱyouȱprioritizeȱyourȱwork?ȱIsȱitȱhardȱtoȱdoȱtheȱthingsȱyouȱdon’tȱfeelȱlikeȱdoing,ȱevenȱwhenȱthey’reȱimportant?ȱHowȱdoȱyouȱdecideȱwhatȱtoȱdoȱfirst?ȱȱ6.ȱIt’sȱ11pm.ȱYou’reȱlivingȱinȱaȱdormȱwithȱ100ȱotherȱkidsȱyourȱsameȱage,ȱgoingȱthroughȱallȱtheȱsameȱthingsȱyouȱare.ȱOnȱtheȱ1stȱfloor,ȱsomeȱguysȱareȱsettingȱupȱaȱcrazyȱobstacleȱcourseȱandȱtalkingȱaboutȱorderingȱpizza.ȱOnȱtheȱ2ndȱfloor,ȱthereȱareȱseveralȱgroupsȱhavingȱconversations…someȱhilarious,ȱsomeȱdeepȱandȱprofound.ȱOnȱtheȱ3rdȱfloor,ȱtwoȱguysȱareȱplayingȱsomeȱawesomeȱguitarȱandȱaȱbunchȱofȱtheȱgirlsȱareȱwatchingȱthem.ȱYou’reȱnotȱremotelyȱtiredȱandȱnoȱoneȱisȱgoingȱtoȱtakeȱattendanceȱatȱyourȱ9amȱclass.ȱYouȱdoȱhaveȱtoȱreadȱ150ȱpagesȱforȱaȱLitȱclassȱbyȱ4pmȱtomorrowȱandȱhaveȱaȱproblemȱsetȱdueȱbyȱnoon.ȱWhatȱdoȱyouȱdo?ȱȱȱ



Chapterȱ3:ȱBeȱIntentionalȱ–ȱFindȱGreatȱFriendsȱandȱMentorsȱȱ1.ȱAsȱyouȱconsiderȱgoingȱoffȱtoȱcollege,ȱwhatȱqualitiesȱareȱyouȱlookingȱforȱinȱfriends?ȱȱȱ2.ȱWhatȱdoȱyouȱthinkȱaboutȱfindingȱaȱchurchȱnearȱtheȱcollege?ȱDoȱyouȱknowȱhowȱtoȱchooseȱone?ȱWhatȱareȱsomeȱthingsȱyouȱcouldȱlookȱfor?ȱȱȱȱSuggestedȱactivity:ȱIfȱyourȱchildȱdoesn’tȱalreadyȱhaveȱaȱspecificȱchurchȱinȱmind,ȱgoȱonlineȱtogetherȱandȱidentifyȱatȱleastȱthreeȱchurchesȱtoȱvisit.ȱAgreeȱthatȱyou’llȱtalkȱaboutȱthemȱafterwards.ȱȱ3.ȱWhatȱdoȱyouȱplanȱtoȱdoȱthatȱfirstȱmonthȱorȱtwoȱatȱcollegeȱtoȱestablishȱfriendshipsȱonȱcampus?ȱȱȱȱȱSuggestedȱactivity:ȱIfȱyouȱchildȱisȱconsideringȱaȱsecularȱcampus,ȱgoȱonlineȱtogetherȱandȱidentifyȱseveralȱChristianȱorganizationsȱthatȱhe/sheȱthinksȱareȱworthȱvisiting.ȱȱȱȱChapterȱ4:ȱDistortingȱDatingȱandȱRomanceȱȱ1.ȱȱHaveȱyouȱseenȱanyȱfriendsȱgetȱinȱtroubleȱbyȱgoingȱtooȱfar,ȱtooȱfastȱinȱguyȬgirlȱrelationships?ȱȱȱȱ2.ȱDoȱyouȱthinkȱsomeȱpeopleȱtryȱtoȱpursueȱintimacyȱapartȱfromȱcommitment?ȱWhy?ȱWhatȱisȱyourȱplanȱinȱthisȱarea?ȱȱȱ3.ȱDoȱyouȱthinkȱit’sȱrelevantȱtoȱthinkȱaboutȱwhatȱyou’reȱlookingȱforȱinȱaȱspouse,ȱbeforeȱconsideringȱaȱparticularȱ“girlfriend”ȱorȱ“boyfriend”?ȱȱȱ4.ȱDoȱyouȱthinkȱthereȱisȱonlyȱoneȱ“right”ȱpersonȱoutȱthereȱforȱyou?ȱȱȱȱChapterȱ5:ȱȱRefusingȱtoȱGrowȱUpȱȱ1.ȱHowȱwillȱgoingȱawayȱtoȱcollegeȱchangeȱyourȱrelationshipȱwithȱus?ȱȱ2.ȱWhatȱisȱtheȱdifferenceȱbetweenȱaskingȱyourȱparentsȱforȱhelpȱandȱaskingȱthemȱtoȱdoȱthingsȱforȱyou?ȱȱȱȱȱ3.ȱȱHowȱdoȱyouȱplanȱtoȱtakeȱresponsibilityȱforȱyourȱlifeȱinȱcollege,ȱinsteadȱofȱdependingȱonȱusȱforȱeverything?ȱHowȱwillȱyouȱmakeȱbigȱdecisions,ȱonesȱthatȱhaveȱnoȱclearȱrightȱorȱwrongȱanswer?ȱȱ



ȱSuggestedȱactivity:ȱCreateȱaȱbudgetȱtogetherȱforȱtheȱfirstȱsemester.ȱWhatȱwillȱtheyȱneedȱtoȱcover?ȱWhatȱwillȱyou,ȱasȱparents,ȱcover?ȱȱWillȱtheyȱbeȱexpectedȱtoȱwork,ȱreceiveȱanȱallowance,ȱorȱsaveȱmoneyȱfromȱaȱsummerȱjob?ȱȱChapterȱ8:ȱȱWiselyȱSelectingȱaȱMajorȱȱ1.ȱȱWhatȱ(academic)ȱsubjectsȱdoȱyouȱespeciallyȱlike?ȱWhatȱareȱyourȱpassions?ȱȱȱȱ2.ȱȱWhatȱkindsȱofȱprojects/activitiesȱhaveȱyouȱpursuedȱjustȱbecauseȱyouȱwantedȱto?ȱȱ3.ȱȱInȱwhatȱareasȱhaveȱyouȱseenȱsuccess?ȱȱWhatȱkindsȱofȱsuccess?ȱȱ(Grades,ȱcontests,ȱrecognitionȱbyȱteachers,ȱetc.)ȱȱ4.ȱȱWhatȱcouldȱyouȱseeȱyourselfȱdoing,ȱcareerȬwise?ȱȱWhatȱifȱmoneyȱwereȱnoȱobject?ȱȱChapterȱ9:ȱȱRecognizeȱthatȱGrowthȱRequiresȱChallengeȱȱ1.ȱȱDoȱyouȱhaveȱaȱstrategyȱforȱtakingȱnotesȱduringȱclass?ȱȱHowȱdoȱyouȱplanȱtoȱstudyȱoutsideȱofȱclass?ȱȱȱȱȱ2.ȱWhatȱdoȱyouȱthinkȱofȱtheȱideaȱthatȱpartȱofȱgettingȱanȱeducationȱisȱaboutȱbecomingȱaȱcertainȱkindȱofȱperson?ȱȱOrȱdoȱyouȱthinkȱeveryȱclassȱyouȱtakeȱneedsȱtoȱgiveȱyouȱspecificȱjobȬrelatedȱskills?ȱȱȱȱ3.ȱHaveȱyouȱeverȱstruggledȱwithȱjealousyȱinȱcomparingȱyourȱacademicȱskills/accomplishmentsȱwithȱothers?ȱȱȱȱ4.ȱWhat’sȱtheȱdifferenceȱbetweenȱworkingȱhardȱandȱworkingȱsmart?ȱȱȱȱ5.ȱIfȱyouȱstruggleȱacademicallyȱinȱcollege,ȱwhereȱcanȱyouȱgoȱforȱhelp?ȱȱȱ

AlexȱChediakȱ(Ph.D.,ȱU.C.ȱBerkeley)ȱisȱaȱProfessorȱofȱEngineeringȱandȱPhysicsȱatȱCaliforniaȱBaptistȱUniversity.ȱHisȱbook,ȱThrivingȱatȱCollegeȱ(TyndaleȱHouse,ȱ2011),ȱhitȱtheȱChristianȱBookseller’sȱAssociationȱbestȬsellerȱlistȱinȱMayȱ2011.ȱȱItȱwasȱrecognizedȱbyȱYouthWorkerȱJournalȱasȱoneȱofȱtheȱbestȱresourcesȱofȱ2011.ȱȱHeȱregularlyȱcontributesȱtoȱChristianityȱTodayȱandȱFocusȱonȱtheȱFamily’sȱBoundlessȱwebzine.ȱȱFindȱoutȱmoreȱatȱwww.alexchediak.com.ȱȱȱȱȱȱȱ