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Mateo Cuevas
Writing 39C
Erin McNellis
April 15, 2014
Organ Shortage: The Part of Society That is Left to Contribute
The world of medicine is constantly changing. There are new technological advances
every year that make methods used a decade ago seem obsolete or impractical today. One
medical issue that needs a big improvement is organ donations. Organ donations are a big deal
because, through the numbers gathered by the Organ Procurement and Transplantation Network,
(OPTN) there are currently 112,220 candidates on the waiting list as of April 15, 2014; while the
number of donors, starting this year January 2014 up to April 11, 2014, the number of donors has
only been 1,209. (OPTN: Organ Procurement and Transplantation Network). These numbers
clearly show that the number of donors here in the U.S. do not meet the demand of those in need
of organs. Most of the people that are on this list will not survive if they do not receive a
transplant. The number of people who need organs will continuously rise and we cannot control
that number; and the number of donors will not increase fast enough to keep up with those in
need of organs. The U.S. has a problem trying to accommodate all the people who are in need of
organ donations, and the people who are able to help are not doing all they can in order to solve
this problem.
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This image from
Nick Cenevivas
Technical
Writing Blog, A
Technical
Writing Blog
with a
Bioengineering
focus, supports
the research done
by the Organ Procurement and Transplantation Network showing a steady increase in the
number of people on the organ waiting list (Ceneviva). This graph also shows that while the
number of donors is also slowly increasing, it is nowhere near meeting the demand of patients on
the waiting list any time soon. The gap between the number of patients on the waiting list and
those who do donate is shown, by the graph, to be increasing every year.
Organ donations are vital to our society. More people are added to the organ waiting list
every day and the chances of them living decrease every minute that they are not able to receive
their transplant. In Sterling SimseEditorial A Brief History of Organ Transplantation from the
Penn Bioethics Journal, that is comes from the University of Pennsylvania, Sims, who was a
Health and Societies Major with a Bioethics concentration, gives us a summary of how
transplantations have come along through history. Sims discusses the crucial need of organs from
a very early start which lead to people even resorting to animal transplants to try and save
somebody. Not only that but he also mentions doctors fearing transplants because they failed
Comment [EM1]: Vague.
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very often and did not get too many chances, or donations to put into other patients. But then in
1962, Dr. Murray that was a part of the first successful live transplant on Richard Herrick in
1954 also successfully transplanted the first kidney from a cadaver to a living person (Sims).
This summary illuminates the major historical problems, from not understanding transplants, to
doctors not being able to perform them, to, an issue relevant today not having organs to
transplant. The success of Dr. Murrays transplant from a cadaver definitely opened new doors
for transplants.
One issue that was briefly addressed in Simseditorial was the problem with living-organ
donation transplantation or also referred to as LDOT. In the medical journal Organ Donation Is
Not Mutilation: The History of an Erroneous Idea, Rev. Anthony Stoeppel and Rev. Pablo
Requena, MD, argued that through history organ donation was seen as a mutilation because there
was no medical reason to take a good organ from a healthy person. This idea was carried out for
many years and few challenged it. Through research and though the succession of kidney
transplants it began to be seen that not every mutilation is wrong (Requena, Steoppel 433).
Sims opinion seemed to favor transplanting for example after a successful transplant of two
twins Sims mentions that, [Now] physicians had high hopes for organ transplantation (Sims).
This problem had been around for a while and trying to decide whether we think LDOT is moral
or not over the years has cost people lives. People who were uneducated about organ donation
were easily confused and did not know whether an organ donation was mutilation or not, and
according to Requena and Steoppel it was seen that way for a time. Organ donation is not a
mutilation, but there are several criteria points that must be met in order for a transplant to be
successful. Organ donors must be healthy and their organs must meet the criteria in order for
doctors to feel comfortable to transplant them into people. This leads into the big question: if
Comment [EM2]: Run-on sentence.
Comment [EM3]: Im not sure this in
particularly belongs in this paragraph.
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donors, and once those specific problems that lie in the
psychological level are found a solution can begin to be
found for this psychological problem.
But while this problem is being investigated and
while people are contemplating on making their choice
lets remember that people are still waiting. This image
taken from Penn Medicine shows the surprising amount of
time patients must wait before they can expect a transplant
(Penn Medicine).
There are several other issues that influence the relatively small number of organ
donations, compared to the number of patients who need one. There is a large argument that is a
clear issue today, and that argument consists of morals. Are patients always in a position to make
the decision of donation on their own? Deciding whether a person is capable of making that
decision on their own is debatable considering what the condition of the patient is. What
becomes even more controversial is leaving an organ donation choice of a person who is
incapable to deciding for themselves, to someone else. The border line that decides whether a
person is capable to decide organ donation for themselves or that it should be left to someone
else is very thin. The current American system of cadaveric organ procurement includes the
default assumption that individuals prefer notto donate their organs for transplantation after their
death (Gill 37). The decision of whether to donate someone elses organs should not be left to
just anybody. The consent of the possible organ donor is clearly important and this quote helps
Comment [EM6]: In MLA format, ima
to be cited this way (in a caption): Sourc
full Works-Cited style entry here+.
Comment [EM7]: As I mentioned for
paragraph on the previous page, it would
clearly state that youre now talking abou
donation decisions.
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explain why so many organs are lost. The people who can contribute them did not choose
whether to donate or not, so the default is that doctors assume they did not want to donate.
Doctors cannot simply hand over a decision like this to anyone, it should have been the patients
choice to donate or not. However if the patient never got the chance to decide for themselves the
automatic decision is that they did not want to donate and therefore the opportunity to save the
lives of many people is lost instantly.
Have we doctors ever thought about other ways to get donations without consent from
someone who cannot tell us if they want to be a donor or not?.The truth is yes. There are a lot of
possibilities that have been discussed, for example DCD. DCD is Donation after Circulatory
Death. What that means is that if someone dies or is declared dead because,their heart stops
functioning or if the patient is brain dead for example, their organs can be taken and used to save
someone elses life (life gift). Deciding to take someone elses organs is a very tough choice, but
even more so is deciding if a patient is dead before that can even be considered. Doing this
however may save many lives because there will be more donors to get organs from. However
in an article published in Pediatrics a medical magazine, two individuals that contribute their
opinions to this journal Miller, and Troug argue for withdrawing this procedure. They explain
that although doctors can save lives, removing the life sustaining treatment is the cause for the
patients deaths and therefore is unmoral because it seems as if they arekilling the patients just
for their organs (Pediatrics). Killing one to save another is what Miller, and Troug point out, but
it is not as blunt as this sentence. These issues are always extensively studied. I think that
doctors are well equipped and knowledgeable to decide whether a patient can continue to live or
not. Therefore the doctor should theoretically make the right choice when deciding to pull the
Comment [EM8]: This gets repetitive
very informative. It would have been hel
into whythis is our default assumption, a
patients arent being presented with this
more directly.
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plug. There will be good that comes out from deciding to take those patients organs for a
possible donation.
We might imagine that after doctors receive some organs that each one of those will go to
saving someones life or will at least help someone. However this is not always the case. Organs
do not have a long shelf life if a donor is not found right away. Organs will die in a very short
time especially if they are not properly handled. According to several experts, including:
Englesbe, Cutler, etc., who are a part of the Department of surgery from various universities,
wrote in an article Improving Organ Procurement Travel Practices, where they say that
organ transportation is a very current problem. They discussed the various forms of
transportation for organs (Cutler, et al). Getting an organ from one point to another is not an easy
task. There are always a lot of concerns that need to be taken into account. It is not an easy job.
In the past two decades, there have been 27 reported deaths among transplant professionals
worldwide as a result of aircraft accidents while traveling to procure organs (Cutler, et al). This
is a horrible way to lose a life. Getting a life-saving transplant transported to someone in dire
need, and then it turns out there was an incident and now the organ is lost and so is the hope for
the individual waiting. I believe transplant is not complete until the patient the organ in them and
is revered from their surgery.
This table shows the issues that havebeen occurred over a little more than two decades
ago. It shows that this problem of transportation for organs in not an old or new problem. It
continues to influence several transplants. Comment [EM9]: Unclearly worded.
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Image: from Improving Organ Procurement Travel Practices in the United States: Proceedings
from the Michigan Donor Travel Forum
Another thing that contributes the low number of transplants is that we have extended
criteria donors or ECD. Marginal or extended criteria donors (ECD) are defined as those with a
greater risk of initial poor function or graft failure and therefore and increased risk for recipient
morbidity or mortality (Gastaca). In simpler terms these donors just are not as healthy as how
doctors consider someone to be a prime candidate, and neither are their organs. But these donors
have valuable organs that many people may use, however the standards that we have for organ
transplantation exceed what doctors feel that these organs can offer and as a result, The US, for
example, between 2001 and 2003, some 1200 ECD kidneys, 500 livers, and 250 hearts were
discarded (Transplantation Proceedings 35). Although some may argue that the reason for not
using these organs are for safety precautions, these are still organs that can be used and that are
capable of helping someone else improve or save their lives. It is understandable that doctors
require donors to be healthy, and that they also have high standards when it comes to choosing
whether or not to transplant an organ. But having a chance to live from an ECD organ is much
better than dying because a person was not given a chance. The outcome will be the same if the
Comment [EM10]: See my previous
about image citations. But also, it would helped to directly comment on these num
seem pretty small! I wonder if there mig
been a more effective chart to show.
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Works Cited
Abouna, George M. Transplantation Proceedings. Organ Shortage Crisis: Problems and
Possible Solutions.Volume 40, issue 1, January-February 2008.
http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.transproceed.2007.11.067.Pages 34-38. Web. April 3, 2014.
George M. Abouna from Drexel University, College of Medicine in Pennsylvania argues
the relevance that organ shortages we have today and also offers possible solutions to
help obtain more donors and minimize the number of those on the waiting list. Abouna
published his text on this topic in a popular magazine hoping to get his information out.
George M. Abouna utilizes statistics over several years, as well as research which he used
to break down the problem in a simpler form that would make it easier to follow. It is
relates to my topic because it shows the true numbers and history of this organ shortage
problem that have been around for a while. Not only that but it also shows a problem that
contributed to the small number of organ donors.
Bagneski, Wojciech. American Journal of Law and Medicine. Hasting Death: Dying Dignity
and the Organ Shortage Gap. December 1, 2009. Issue 35 Pages 562-584.
http://web.a.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=0237dc16-7884-4c78-b025-
da2d3c6e20ee%40sessionmgr4003&vid=9&hid=4209.Web. April 22, 2014
Cenevivas, Nick. "The Shortage of Donor Organs." Nick Cenevivas Technical Writing Blog.
http://sites.psu.edu/nickceneviva202cblog/2013/09/18/the-shortage-of-donor-organs/.
Web. April 22 2014.
Cutleer, J.A, Englesbe. M.J, et al. Improving Organ Procurement Travel Practices in the United
States: Proceedings from the Michigan Donor Travel Forum. The American Journal of
http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.transproceed.2007.11.067http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.transproceed.2007.11.067http://web.a.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=0237dc16-7884-4c78-b025-%09da2d3c6e20ee%40sessionmgr4003&vid=9&hid=4209http://web.a.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=0237dc16-7884-4c78-b025-%09da2d3c6e20ee%40sessionmgr4003&vid=9&hid=4209http://web.a.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=0237dc16-7884-4c78-b025-%09da2d3c6e20ee%40sessionmgr4003&vid=9&hid=4209http://sites.psu.edu/nickceneviva202cblog/2013/09/18/the-shortage-of-donor-organs/http://sites.psu.edu/nickceneviva202cblog/2013/09/18/the-shortage-of-donor-organs/http://sites.psu.edu/nickceneviva202cblog/2013/09/18/the-shortage-of-donor-organs/http://web.a.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=0237dc16-7884-4c78-b025-%09da2d3c6e20ee%40sessionmgr4003&vid=9&hid=4209http://web.a.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=0237dc16-7884-4c78-b025-%09da2d3c6e20ee%40sessionmgr4003&vid=9&hid=4209http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.transproceed.2007.11.0678/12/2019 39C Essay 1 Final Draft Graded
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Tranplantation. March 1, 2010. Volume 10. Issue 3, Pages 458-463.
http://web.b.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=eaaa5b8e-6d97-409a-a5b1-
69847cdd5e74%40sessionmgr115&vid=10&hid=122.Web. April 24, 2014.
This source contributes insights on the subject of organ transportation practices, as well
as care of the organs while they are being handled. Several experts and well qualified
individuals who are from the department of surgery from various universities, a few
including: The University of Michigan and The University of Massachusetts. Along with
the research conducted on the transportation methods of varies hospitals this source also
includes a large graph that shows, in a simplified version, the findings for transportation
failures and therefore why they are important. This is relevant to my research because it
adds to the reason why there are people who are not receiving their transplants, and so
this issue is just adding to the shortage of organs.
"Ethical Controversies in Organ Donation After Circulatory Death." Pediatrics.
http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/131/5/1021.full#ref-19.Web. April 21,
2014.
Gastaca, M. Extended Criteria Donors in Liver Transplantation: Adapting Donor Quality and
Recipient. Transplant Proceedings. Volume 41. Issue 2, April 2009. Pages 975-979.
http://ucelinks.cdlib.org:8888/sfx_local?genre=article&issn=00411345&title=Transplant
ation+Proceedings&volume=41&issue=3&date=20090401&atitle=Extended+Criteria+D
onors+in+Liver+Transplantation%3a+Adapting+Donor+Quality+and+Recipient.&spage
=975&sid=EBSCO:a9h&pid=. Web. April 25 2014.
http://web.b.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=eaaa5b8e-6d97-409a-a5b1-%0969847cdd5e74%40sessionmgr115&vid=10&hid=122http://web.b.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=eaaa5b8e-6d97-409a-a5b1-%0969847cdd5e74%40sessionmgr115&vid=10&hid=122http://web.b.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=eaaa5b8e-6d97-409a-a5b1-%0969847cdd5e74%40sessionmgr115&vid=10&hid=122http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/131/5/1021.full#ref-19http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/131/5/1021.full#ref-19http://ucelinks.cdlib.org:8888/sfx_local?genre=article&issn=00411345&title=Transplant%09ation+Proceedings&volume=41&issue=3&date=20090401&atitle=Extended+Criteria+D%09onors+in+Liver+Transplantation%3a+Adapting+Donor+Quality+and+Recipient.&spage%09=975&sid=EBSCO:a9h&pidhttp://ucelinks.cdlib.org:8888/sfx_local?genre=article&issn=00411345&title=Transplant%09ation+Proceedings&volume=41&issue=3&date=20090401&atitle=Extended+Criteria+D%09onors+in+Liver+Transplantation%3a+Adapting+Donor+Quality+and+Recipient.&spage%09=975&sid=EBSCO:a9h&pidhttp://ucelinks.cdlib.org:8888/sfx_local?genre=article&issn=00411345&title=Transplant%09ation+Proceedings&volume=41&issue=3&date=20090401&atitle=Extended+Criteria+D%09onors+in+Liver+Transplantation%3a+Adapting+Donor+Quality+and+Recipient.&spage%09=975&sid=EBSCO:a9h&pidhttp://ucelinks.cdlib.org:8888/sfx_local?genre=article&issn=00411345&title=Transplant%09ation+Proceedings&volume=41&issue=3&date=20090401&atitle=Extended+Criteria+D%09onors+in+Liver+Transplantation%3a+Adapting+Donor+Quality+and+Recipient.&spage%09=975&sid=EBSCO:a9h&pidhttp://ucelinks.cdlib.org:8888/sfx_local?genre=article&issn=00411345&title=Transplant%09ation+Proceedings&volume=41&issue=3&date=20090401&atitle=Extended+Criteria+D%09onors+in+Liver+Transplantation%3a+Adapting+Donor+Quality+and+Recipient.&spage%09=975&sid=EBSCO:a9h&pidhttp://ucelinks.cdlib.org:8888/sfx_local?genre=article&issn=00411345&title=Transplant%09ation+Proceedings&volume=41&issue=3&date=20090401&atitle=Extended+Criteria+D%09onors+in+Liver+Transplantation%3a+Adapting+Donor+Quality+and+Recipient.&spage%09=975&sid=EBSCO:a9h&pidhttp://ucelinks.cdlib.org:8888/sfx_local?genre=article&issn=00411345&title=Transplant%09ation+Proceedings&volume=41&issue=3&date=20090401&atitle=Extended+Criteria+D%09onors+in+Liver+Transplantation%3a+Adapting+Donor+Quality+and+Recipient.&spage%09=975&sid=EBSCO:a9h&pidhttp://ucelinks.cdlib.org:8888/sfx_local?genre=article&issn=00411345&title=Transplant%09ation+Proceedings&volume=41&issue=3&date=20090401&atitle=Extended+Criteria+D%09onors+in+Liver+Transplantation%3a+Adapting+Donor+Quality+and+Recipient.&spage%09=975&sid=EBSCO:a9h&pidhttp://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/131/5/1021.full#ref-19http://web.b.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=eaaa5b8e-6d97-409a-a5b1-%0969847cdd5e74%40sessionmgr115&vid=10&hid=122http://web.b.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=eaaa5b8e-6d97-409a-a5b1-%0969847cdd5e74%40sessionmgr115&vid=10&hid=1228/12/2019 39C Essay 1 Final Draft Graded
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Gatascas article was published in a credible medical journal. It is a source that is known
and has been around for a long time. This article discusses the problems that currently
exist with ECD donors. It talks about the much higher risks these donors have for other
patients as donors. It is relevant to my paper, because it falls into place as a social
problem. The people that are donating organs are older people who, according to the
standards of doctors, do not meet the criteria to be good donors. They want to help and
are part of a small number of people who are willing to donate, but not allowing the
chance to be taken with the organs from these donors keeps the number of people on the
waiting list for a transplant the same.
Gill, Michael B. Journal of Medicine and Philosophy. Presumed Consent, Autonomy, and
Organ Donation. 2004 Vol. 29, No. 1. Page 37-59.
http://jmp.oxfordjournals.org/content/29/1/37.full.pdf.Web. April 16, 2014
Health System Joins HAPs Donate Life Hospital Campaign. Penn Medicine. August 6,
2013.http://www.cchosp.com/cchpage.asp?p=2029.Web. April 21, 2014
Nijkamp, Marjan D, et al. Health Psychology Review. To be(come) or not to be(come) and
organ donor, thats the question: a meta-analysis of determinant and intervention studies.
Vol. 2, No 1. 1, March 2008, 20-40.
http://web.b.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=77f0ea86-babb-43d6-be64-
9e94577e9af3%40sessionmgr111&vid=5&hid=123.Web. April 16, 2014
Organ Donor Crises WPTZ NewsChannel 5. Nov 13, 2013.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZRy3LoNPns.Video. April 19, 2014.
http://jmp.oxfordjournals.org/content/29/1/37.full.pdfhttp://jmp.oxfordjournals.org/content/29/1/37.full.pdfhttp://www.cchosp.com/cchpage.asp?p=2029http://www.cchosp.com/cchpage.asp?p=2029http://www.cchosp.com/cchpage.asp?p=2029http://web.b.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=77f0ea86-babb-43d6-be64-%099e94577e9af3%40sessionmgr111&vid=5&hid=123http://web.b.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=77f0ea86-babb-43d6-be64-%099e94577e9af3%40sessionmgr111&vid=5&hid=123http://web.b.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=77f0ea86-babb-43d6-be64-%099e94577e9af3%40sessionmgr111&vid=5&hid=123http://web.b.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=77f0ea86-babb-43d6-be64-%099e94577e9af3%40sessionmgr111&vid=5&hid=123http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZRy3LoNPnshttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZRy3LoNPnshttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZRy3LoNPnshttp://web.b.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=77f0ea86-babb-43d6-be64-%099e94577e9af3%40sessionmgr111&vid=5&hid=123http://web.b.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=77f0ea86-babb-43d6-be64-%099e94577e9af3%40sessionmgr111&vid=5&hid=123http://www.cchosp.com/cchpage.asp?p=2029http://jmp.oxfordjournals.org/content/29/1/37.full.pdf8/12/2019 39C Essay 1 Final Draft Graded
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This source is a video from YouTube. Even though this video is from YouTube, it was
uploaded by a local news station, WPTZ Newschannel 5. In the video a mother and her
young boy are shown in a hospital. The boy is in need of a lung transplant. He is lucky,
after a long period of wait, to receive a transplant. The transplant fails after a few years
and he goes back on the waiting list. This short video is a good example of what it is like
to be in need of a transplant. It shows the options that are available and also the realities
that cannot be changed. Because of the shortage of donors the boy did not make it the
second time he needed a transplant. It is very relevant to this paper because is also just
happened last year. This organ shortage problem is very current and is not slowing down.
Requena, Pablo, and Stoeppel, Anthony. Organ Donation Is Not Mutilation. The History of an
Erroneous Idea. September 1, 2013.
http://web.b.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=e39f03bb-7b75-4dad-a2e6-
8337444eae87%40sessionmgr198&vid=7&hid=125.Web. Pages 427-436 March 2,
2014.
Rev. Anthony Stoeppel, and Rev. Pablo Requena, Md, explains the view of Living-organ
donor transplantation and its history going from unacceptable mutilation, to a life-saving
process. They present their argument in a medical journal format from which this
particular article was taken from and use a formal tone. They use extensive research that
was conducted by various experts as well as their own research and observations that
extended over dozens of years before they come to their conclusion. They want to inform
an academic audience of the problems with organ donations that once existed in the past.
Although it seemed like this issue was resolved there was not an extreme increase in the
http://web.b.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=e39f03bb-7b75-4dad-a2e6-%098337444eae87%40sessionmgr198&vid=7&hid=125http://web.b.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=e39f03bb-7b75-4dad-a2e6-%098337444eae87%40sessionmgr198&vid=7&hid=125http://web.b.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=e39f03bb-7b75-4dad-a2e6-%098337444eae87%40sessionmgr198&vid=7&hid=125http://web.b.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=e39f03bb-7b75-4dad-a2e6-%098337444eae87%40sessionmgr198&vid=7&hid=125http://web.b.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=e39f03bb-7b75-4dad-a2e6-%098337444eae87%40sessionmgr198&vid=7&hid=1258/12/2019 39C Essay 1 Final Draft Graded
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number of donors of organs. This meant that there are other things apart from this
problem that also contributed and continue to contribute to the shortage problem.
Saving More lives: Organ Donation After Cardiac Death. Life Gift.
http://www.lifegift.org/resources/files/DonationAfterCardiacDeathBrochure.pdf.Pdf.
April 21, 2014
Sims, Sterling. Penn Bioethics Journal. A Brief History of Organ Tranplantation. October 1,
2010. Volume IV, Issue ii.
http://web.b.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=85b91674-77ce-4fbc-bb34-
e949637987c9%40sessionmgr112&vid=2&hid=103.Web. April 23, 2014.
"Transplant Rejection: MedlinePlus Medical Encyclopedia." U.S National Library of Medicine.
U.S. National Library of Medicine, Web. 12 Apr. 2014.
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000815.htm.
Uniting People and Information to Help save Lives." OPTN: Organ Procurement and
Transplantation Network. http://optn.transplant.hrsa.gov/. Web. 13 Apr. 2014
Mateo,
Youve done a good job of sorting out the confusion of the previous draft into a much clearer sequence
of separate issues in this one! I note in my margin comments, though, that some of these cases might
have been a little more clearly labeled from the beginningtry to be more aware of writing clear,
focused topic sentences in Comp 2. You cover the DCD controversy clearly and well, but the controversy
you cover in the previous paragraph about morality is much more vagueit would have helped to
provide some specific info (from sources) about what peoples moral objections are and why they have
them. You should also try to do more with multi-modal elements in Comp 2. Any infographic you
provide should have clear commentary and interpretation linking it to your argument! Solid work
overall.
Best,
http://www.lifegift.org/resources/files/DonationAfterCardiacDeathBrochure.pdfhttp://www.lifegift.org/resources/files/DonationAfterCardiacDeathBrochure.pdfhttp://web.b.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=85b91674-77ce-4fbc-bb34-%09e949637987c9%40sessionmgr112&vid=2&hid=103http://web.b.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=85b91674-77ce-4fbc-bb34-%09e949637987c9%40sessionmgr112&vid=2&hid=103http://web.b.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=85b91674-77ce-4fbc-bb34-%09e949637987c9%40sessionmgr112&vid=2&hid=103http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000815.htmhttp://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000815.htmhttp://optn.transplant.hrsa.gov/http://optn.transplant.hrsa.gov/http://optn.transplant.hrsa.gov/http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000815.htmhttp://web.b.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=85b91674-77ce-4fbc-bb34-%09e949637987c9%40sessionmgr112&vid=2&hid=103http://web.b.ebscohost.com/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=85b91674-77ce-4fbc-bb34-%09e949637987c9%40sessionmgr112&vid=2&hid=103http://www.lifegift.org/resources/files/DonationAfterCardiacDeathBrochure.pdf8/12/2019 39C Essay 1 Final Draft Graded
15/17
Cuevas 15
Erin
Grade: B+
Rubric: Composition I
Traits
Evaluative Criteria
Excellent Very
Good
Good Average Below
Average
Rhetoric &
Communication
Thesis or Problem
Statement:
The composition clearly presents and an alyzes a significant political/social/cultural problem and frames
it with a clear motive or warrant. It establishes, explains, and argues its topic, its motives, and its
positions with levels of sophistication and clarity appropriate to the level of its course and this
particular assignment.
X
Historical
Dimensions:
Historical aspects deepen the relevance of the problem and enhance the arguments. The historical
presentation is woven seamlessly into the flow of the narrative.X
Argumentation
(Written):
Explores, summarizes, and evaluates various debates, perspectives, and arguments, and p rovides
critical, scholarly definitions of terms and concepts central to this discourse. For the level of this course
and for this particular assignment, the arguments are sophisticated, creative, persuasive, insightful, and
deeply embedded in scholarly discourse.
X
Argumentation
(Multi-modal):
Uses various types of evidence and/or genres to create multi-modal elements that strengthen and
deepen explanations, summaries, and arguments.X
Arrangement of The presentation of evidence is arranged coherently and demonstrates a well documented analyticalsynthesis.
X
8/12/2019 39C Essay 1 Final Draft Graded
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Cuevas 16
Evidence:
Evidence &
Information
Literacy
Research (both
traditional and new
media)
The sources demonstrate a sense for locating, selecting, and organizing sources. The bod y of sources
supporting the composition is well developed and varied in source type.
X
Credibility &
Timeliness
The selected sources are both credible and timely and offer clear support to all of the compositions
argumentative moves.
X
Source Use and
Integration
The composition uses sources appropriately in distinct and different capacities: primary/secondary,
exhibit/argument/background. The author integrates the sources seamlessly into t he composition.X
Documentation All uses of evidence are documented and formatted appropriately, and the autho r recognizes instanceswhen citations are needed.
X
Annotations &
Evaluations
The annotations and source evaluations are well developed and help to demonstrate the authors
control over all of the sources used.X
Style,
Mechanics, &
Conventions
Clarity, SentenceStructure, &
Readability
The writing is clear, eloquent, characterized by precise word choices, purposeful sentences with variedstructure, and a high degree of readability for the level of its course and this particular assignment.
X
8/12/2019 39C Essay 1 Final Draft Graded
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Cuevas 17
Narrative
Development
The narrative is deliberately paced, and demonstrates a very high degree of skill and control when
moving from idea to idea, paragraph to paragraph, and sentence to sentence.
X
Grammar, Usage,
Punctuation, &
Spelling
The prose is mechanically correct and free of errors in punctuation, grammar, spelling, and usage.
X
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