BREAKDOWN OF RELATIONSHIPS
THIS WEEKWe will go over the breakdown of relationships
You will then have an opportunity for verbal feedback
ACTIVITYWith a partner, discuss relationships that you endedQ: Were there common reasons, or was each one different?Now, discuss relationships that ‘they’ endedQ: Were there common reasons, or was each one different
REASONS FOR ENDING A RELATIONSHIP
REASONS FOR ENDING A RELATIONSHIP● Conflict
● Breaking agreed rules [fidelity, confidentiality, support]
● Dissatisfaction / boredom
● Lack of stimulation / novelty
● An attractive alternative relationship
● Costs outweighing rewards
REASONS CONTINUED● Perceived changes in relationship
● Interference from other relationships
● Problems of abuse [alcohol, monetary, sex]
● Changes in self or other person
● Falling out of love
● Saving face
RESEARCH Premarital breakdown...● LEE 1984 interviewed couples
FOUND: 5 stages of premarital breakdown-
1. dissatisfaction – realising you're unhappy
2. exposure – difficulties coming to surface / voiced
3. negotiation – discussing issues / deciding how to save it
4. attempted resolution – trying solutions
5. termination – realising it isn't working – ending relationship
EVALUATION STRENGTH● Research was qualitative & subjective
WEAKNESS● Qualitative data not scientific – interpretation difficult, bias● Subjective nature of data – difficult to generalise● Retrospective data● Samples – long term cohabiting couples only used [married, friends may be
different]● individual differences not accounted for in exposure stage – not everyone
discusses dissatisfaction with partner before ending
DUCKS MODEL● Similar to Lee's BUT can be applied to ALL relationships● 4 phases
1. intrapsychic – thinking about negative aspects of partner & relationship BUT NOT discussing them (yet!)
Threshold - “I can't stand this anymore”
...Dissatisfaction grows = can't hold in feelings
DUCKS MODELdyadic phase – confronting partner & trying to resolve problems
Threshold - “I'd be justified in withdrawing”
...partner knows how you feel, if they don't help resolve issues you feel like giving up
[corresponds with Lee's exposure,negotiation & resolution attempt stages]
social phase – decide what to do now relationship effectively over
includes face-saving & negotiating social implication, e.g. childcare, friends]
Threshold - “I mean it” [corresponds with Lee's termination stage]
relationship aired publicly, for some people this process may save relationship...if not...
grave-dressing phase – focus on communicating socially acceptable account of end of relationship [important!]
Threshold - “Now it's inevitable”'
Deciding what relationship will be with ex & where blame lies [helps get over it]
COMPARISONS OF LEE AND DUCK● Both models have useful practical applications – can identify stage of
breakdown & suggest ways to attempt to repair relationship
● Models suggest how, once broken, couples in intrapsychic phase should aim to re-establish liking by focusing on positive aspects
● Neither model explains why relationships breakdown – merely focuses on likely sequence of events
OTHER FACTORS (DUCK) Duck found factors make breakup more likely...
● Younger than average partners – teen wedding
Lower socio-economic group / educational level
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