BREAKDOWN OF RELATIONSHIPS

THIS WEEKWe will go over the breakdown of relationships

You will then have an opportunity for verbal feedback

ACTIVITYWith a partner, discuss relationships that you endedQ: Were there common reasons, or was each one different?Now, discuss relationships that ‘they’ endedQ: Were there common reasons, or was each one different

REASONS FOR ENDING A RELATIONSHIP

REASONS FOR ENDING A RELATIONSHIP● Conflict

● Breaking agreed rules [fidelity, confidentiality, support]

● Dissatisfaction / boredom

● Lack of stimulation / novelty

● An attractive alternative relationship

● Costs outweighing rewards

REASONS CONTINUED● Perceived changes in relationship

● Interference from other relationships

● Problems of abuse [alcohol, monetary, sex]

● Changes in self or other person

● Falling out of love

● Saving face

RESEARCH Premarital breakdown...● LEE 1984 interviewed couples

FOUND: 5 stages of premarital breakdown-

1. dissatisfaction – realising you're unhappy

2. exposure – difficulties coming to surface / voiced

3. negotiation – discussing issues / deciding how to save it

4. attempted resolution – trying solutions

5. termination – realising it isn't working – ending relationship

EVALUATION STRENGTH● Research was qualitative & subjective

WEAKNESS● Qualitative data not scientific – interpretation difficult, bias● Subjective nature of data – difficult to generalise● Retrospective data● Samples – long term cohabiting couples only used [married, friends may be

different]● individual differences not accounted for in exposure stage – not everyone

discusses dissatisfaction with partner before ending

DUCKS MODEL● Similar to Lee's BUT can be applied to ALL relationships● 4 phases

1. intrapsychic – thinking about negative aspects of partner & relationship BUT NOT discussing them (yet!)

Threshold - “I can't stand this anymore”

...Dissatisfaction grows = can't hold in feelings

DUCKS MODELdyadic phase – confronting partner & trying to resolve problems

Threshold - “I'd be justified in withdrawing”

...partner knows how you feel, if they don't help resolve issues you feel like giving up

[corresponds with Lee's exposure,negotiation & resolution attempt stages]

social phase – decide what to do now relationship effectively over

includes face-saving & negotiating social implication, e.g. childcare, friends]

Threshold - “I mean it” [corresponds with Lee's termination stage]

relationship aired publicly, for some people this process may save relationship...if not...

grave-dressing phase – focus on communicating socially acceptable account of end of relationship [important!]

Threshold - “Now it's inevitable”'

Deciding what relationship will be with ex & where blame lies [helps get over it]

COMPARISONS OF LEE AND DUCK● Both models have useful practical applications – can identify stage of

breakdown & suggest ways to attempt to repair relationship

● Models suggest how, once broken, couples in intrapsychic phase should aim to re-establish liking by focusing on positive aspects

● Neither model explains why relationships breakdown – merely focuses on likely sequence of events

OTHER FACTORS (DUCK) Duck found factors make breakup more likely...

● Younger than average partners – teen wedding

Lower socio-economic group / educational level