Institute for Training In Ministry

YOUR MINISTRY AT HOME

LEADER ‘S GUIDE By

Carolyn DeBoer Caylor and

Maryann E Samms

© 2016 Discipleship Overseas, Inc.

To purchase copies of this leader’s guide,

or the learner’s workbook, log onto:

TRAININGINMINISTRY.COM

or order directly from TheBookPatch.com

Locate the title, then click on:

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ABOUT THE AUTHORS. Carolyn DeBoer Caylor is a graduate of California Baptist College, Riverside, California. She and her husband have four grown children. Maryann Samms is the co-author of “Your Ministry at Home”

Scripture quotations, unless otherwise noted, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, © 1973, 1978, 1984 by the International Bible Society, used by permission of Zondervan Bible Publishers.

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Welcome to Training In Ministry .................................. 4 The Curriculum of iTIM Courses .................................. 9 Introductory Group Meeting ...................................... 12 1 Foundations of the Home ............................................ 16 2 Two Becoming One ...................................................... 21 3 Two Kinds of Forgiveness ........................................... 26 4 Strength in Communication .......................................... 30 5 Rhythm and Time ......................................................... 34 6 Direct Your Money ....................................................... 37 7 When Two Become Three or More .............................. 40 8 Sex After Children, Oh My! ......................................... 45 9 Basic Training of Your Children ................................. 48 10 Family Togetherness ..................................................... 51 11 Family Nutrition ........................................................... 55 12 Family to Families .......................................................... 58

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WELCOME TO THE INSTITUTE FOR TRAINING IN MINISTRY

Thank you for agreeing to teach an iTIM course. We hope these introductory pages will help you be a successful leader of this course, Your Ministry at Home.

Why iTIM? Institute for Training In Ministry (iTIM) courses are specifically designed to help train Christians for ministry, both in the church and in the community. This training is important for several reasons. First, Scripture teaches that believers are to be equipped to minister effectively. “And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ,” Ephesians 4:11, 12. Second, no individual person—not even a super-pastor—can do all that needs to be done in the church. Ministry training greatly increases the church‘s potential for ministry by multiplying ministering members. Third, lay people desire meaningful involvement in the work of the church. Much of what is assumed to be apathy may be boredom with a spectator role. Fourth, most lost people will never come into a church building. The church needs to train lay ministers and send them to where the people are—in the workplace and community, as well as in the church.

The iTIM Approach to Learning The educational methodology employed in every iTIM course is called head, heart, and hands. Each of these three aspects of learning is carefully built into each iTIM course. HEAD refers to the cognitive aspect of learning. Without adequate content one ‘s ministry will be shallow. HEART refers to personal application. As God ‘s truth is appropriated, a person ‘s attitudes, values, and perspectives change to conform to Christ ‘s ministry. Without application, a person ‘s ministry will be carnal.

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HANDS is actual ministry activity—involvement in the lives of others. This is the ultimate goal of every iTIM course. Without application of the truth, our learning will be hollow.

Your Group Learners We use the term “learner” rather than “student” because the word “disciple” (mathetes) means “learner”. These New Testament learners practiced these three aspects of learning—information (head), life (heart), and ministry (hands) as they communicated the Gospel to others. The result was that 2,000 years later the world is still impacted by the message they lived and taught. We pray that you will similarly impact the area of the world where you live and work.

Understanding Your Learners If your study group consists of older adults, be encouraged. Older adults can learn, just as well as children, but with some differences. As a successful teacher of adults, keep in mind the following adult education principles. ADULTS NEED REASSURANCE ABOUT LEARNING. Many adults believe the myth that “you can ‘t teach an old dog new tricks.” Others remember former failures in school and, therefore, avoid formal learning situations. Research studies show that, except in the case of brain impairment, age puts no limit on learning ability. It‘s also a mistake to equate learning with school-type situations. Whether they‘re aware of it or not, your learners have been learning all their lives. Everything you say and do in the group meeting should communicate a positive message: “You can do it!” ADULTS LEARN MORE SLOWLY AS THEY AGE. Thirty-year-olds learn more slowly than seventeen-year-olds, and sixty-year-olds learn more slowly than thirty-year-olds. Some of your adults may shy away from learning experiences because, as adults, they tried to take classes in a school designed for twenty-year olds. To keep the learning experience positive, watch the pace. Don‘t move on until everyone has caught up, even if it puts you “behind schedule.” What‘s important is whether your learners learn, not whether you cover everything by a certain date. (Note: This principle applies to you, too. Be sure to allow plenty of time for lesson preparation!)

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ADULT LEARNING IS EXPERIENCE-RELATED. The average college freshman lacks the perspective that a fuller life will bring; his or her knowledge is secondhand from books and structured experiments. But older adults have had the rich experiences that give perspective, understanding, and the mature judgment needed to distinguish the urgent from the important. Any new knowledge must be integrated into this network of meaning. What does all this mean for you? Adults can help teach each other by sharing experiences. Also, new knowledge is usually related directly to the real world because adults are building on a real-life foundation, rather than on abstract concepts. However, this does have one potentially negative effect: Adults don‘t change very quickly. A lifetime of experiences has produced habitual behavior and thought patterns. So be prepared to exercise patience in helping them to transform their lives. ADULT PARTICIPATION IS LARGELY DETERMINED BY FELT NEEDS. Most adults don ‘t learn merely for learning ‘s sake. They have many demands on their time and energy, and they will resist committing themselves to a long-term learning activity unless they can see some practical benefit from it. They can ‘t be coerced or pressured to learn; their motivation must come from within. Of course, your learners are motivated to start with. You can maintain their motivation most effectively by finding out what they want to get out of their study and then emphasizing those practical results over and over throughout the course. (You have a definite advantage as an iTIM leader; the hands part of the course gives you specific, practical outcomes to emphasize for your learners.) FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS AFFECT AN ADULT‘S LEARNING EFFECTIVENESS. Negative feelings such as fear of inadequacy, perhaps from past bad experiences, can stall the learning process. Adults who associate learning with unpleasantness are unlikely to take the risk of change that comes with new learning. To teach adults successfully, you must go beyond technique and consciously try to build positive feelings in your learners. Adults need to feel comfortable, so the physical environment (seating, lighting, temperature) is important. They must also feel valued as persons. Therefore, everyone‘s contribution is respectfully heard; no ridicule is permitted. They must also feel safe. They must come to trust you and the other learners in the class. This will come over time, as they

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come to realize that you care about them as individuals, keep their discussions confidential, and trust them enough to be honest and open about yourself.

Leading Your Class Discussions Because your learners prepare their lessons before class, you shouldn‘t see your primary role as a dispenser of information. Rather, help your learners to more fully understand the information they have been given in the workbook. Guide their thinking as they explore its relation to other truth and to their own lives. In other words, help solidify the head portion of the lesson and encourage them to open up to possible heart and hands applications. And keep this in mind: the most effective teaching method for accomplishing these goals is discussion. The following guidelines can help you become an effective discussion leader: BE ENTHUSIASTIC, OPEN, AND FRIENDLY. This encourages learners to participate. BE THOUGHTFULLY PREPARED. As you think about the next class, jot down questions you think might help your learners get the most out of their own study. CONTROL THE DISCUSSION LIKE A MODERATOR. Don‘t allow the discussion wander too far off the track, and don‘t let a few people dominate the interaction. DRAW ALL LEARNERS INTO THE DISCUSSION. If a talkative one wants to add something, say, “Why don‘t we hear what some of the others think about this issue. Bob, do you have any comments?” LET YOUR LEARNERS DO MOST OF THE TALKING. A good discussion leader will talk only 20 to 30 percent of the time, or less. DON ‘T BE AFRAID OF SILENCE AFTER A QUESTION. Remember adult learning principle #2? It may take a while for your learners to think of an answer. If the pause gets too long, they might not have understood the question; rephrase it, but don ‘t answer it yourself. DON ‘T BE AN ANSWER MACHINE. Ask if anyone else has an answer. Or point to a Scripture passage that might shed light on the issue. Encourage learners to wrestle with the issues and

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come up with answers themselves. It may be quicker for the teacher to answer questions, but the practice is harmful to your learners ‘ spiritual health in the long run. It makes them dependent and weak; your goal for them is spiritual health and strength. LISTEN ACTIVELY. Lean forward and focus on the person speaking. You may want to rephrase the person ‘s comment or question to make sure you understand it clearly. Not only does this prevent confusion, but it gives a positive message: “You ‘ve got something worthwhile to way, and I want to make sure I get it just right.” TREAT WRONG OR INAPPROPRIATE ANSWERS TACTFULLY. Ask how many others agree with the comment. Students are less threatened by correction that comes from other learners. If right answers fail to be offered, give the correct information clearly for the benefit of the whole class; then make arrangements to meet with the person privately to present your detailed arguments and evidence. This keeps the issues clear for the class, without injuring the mistaken learner ‘s ego. If you take class time to try to change the person ‘s mind, he or she (and others in the class) may see it as a power play—a way to establish your superiority at the expense of one person. Remember that change takes time. If you gently stick to your approach of speaking the truth in love, the Holy Spirit will gradually change the person ‘s mind. SUMMARIZE THE DISCUSSION. Allow plenty of time to do this before the end of the class time. Cut off discussion early if you have to, but don ‘t neglect to summarize. When learners leave, they should have a clear idea of what they ‘ve discussed and what conclusions were reached. LEAD WITH CONFIDENCE. Do you get excited at the thought that God can use you to help adults to spiritual maturity and service? Has God given you a desire to help others become all that they can be in Christ? Then step out confidently, depending on His promise to be with us always (Matthew 28:20). God bless you in this vitally important role!

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The iTIM Curriculum

The Institute for Training In Ministry will enable you to “equip the saints for the work of ministry and so build up the body of Christ.” iTIM courses are organized under 5 ministry tracks.

To purchase these courses and their Leader’s Guides, log on to TrainingInMinistry.com; select the track, then the course. We recommend that you start with Track 1 courses.

Discipleship Track

CHRISTIANITY 101 is designed to disciple new Christians, either in small groups, or one-to-one. Outcome: Learners will lead another person through this course.

A PANORAMA OF THE BIBLE features easy-to-remember visuals for each of the 12 Bible periods. Learners will thrill to find that they can remember the major themes of Bible content and message. Outcome: Learners will satisfactorily pass the Panorama final exam, and, as God gives opportunities, share this course with others

LEARNING TO SERVE: JESUS AS ROLE MODEL teaches the servant life-style of Jesus in many ministry related contexts, and helps learners put this into practice in their ministry. Outcome: Learners will be given a ministry role wherein they demonstrate the servant-leader style of Jesus.

Church Ministry Track

The Church Ministry track consists of the Discipleship Track courses, plus any three of the following courses:

WELCOME TO YOUR MINISTRY teaches the important truth that God has called and gifted all believers for ministry and challenges them to get involved in some basic ministries in the church. Outcome: Learners will commit to getting additional training for ministry, and getting involved in it.

HOW TO DISCOVER YOUR SPIRITUAL GIFTS will provide believers with a better understanding of which spiritual gifts they may have, and how to use their gifts in service for Christ. Outcome: A short-term assignment will be given, wherein learners use one of their gifts in

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an approved ministry.

YOUR MINISTRY OF PRAYER studies prayer in Scripture, and will help learners become involved in a significant ministry of prayer. Outcome: Participants will commit to a ministry of prayer as suggested in the course content.

OUTREACH AS A LIFE-STYLE will train lay people to develop friendships with people, leading to sharing Christ with them. Outcome: Learners will practice this personal evangelism approach in their lives of sharing their faith.

YOUR MINISTRY AT HOME provides practical principles in how to establish and maintain a truly Christian home. Outcome: Learners are expected to apply what they’ve learned in their own homes, and be consistent in reading the Bible each day, expecting to meet with God in a personal way.

TOUCHING TOMORROW BY TEACHING CHILDREN is a superb tool to train more workers to serve in the exciting ministry of teaching children. Outcome: Teaming up with an experienced teacher as an assistant for one quarter or more.

CHRISTIANITY IN THE WORKPLACE relates faith to practical and ethical issues on the job. Its focus is how to be like Christ in the work world. Outcome: Learners will apply these biblical principles to their areas of work.

Church Leadership Track

The Church Leadership track consists of the three Discipleship Track courses, plus the following courses.

TRUTH THAT TRANSFORMS will provide learners with a solid foundation in the major doctrines of Scripture, with an emphasis on practical applications. Outcome: Learners will, with the aid of the Leader’s Guide, lead another individual, or group of people through this course.

EQUIPPING FOR LEADERSHIP will encourage, equip, and train Christian men and women for increased effectiveness in leadership. Outcome: learners will demonstrate the skills taught in this course in an assigned ministry position.

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Bible Teaching Track

The Bible Teaching track consists of the three Discipleship Track courses, the Church Leadership Track courses, plus the following courses.

A SURVEY OF THE NEW TESTAMENT is a 24-lesson N.T. survey. It includes outlines of each book, background information, and questions for individual study. Outcome: Learners will be able to lead Bible studies in any New Testament book.

A SURVEY OF THE OLD TESTAMENT (24 lessons) includes background information, the main idea of each book, an outline of each book, and questions of practical and spiritual value. Outcome: Learners will learn how Old Testament books relate to the New Testament, and will be enabled to lead Bible studies in Old Testament books.

HOW TO STUDY THE BIBLE (24 lessons) will give students an in-depth exposure to the inductive method of Bible study and help them develop their own outlines for leading Bible studies. Outcome: Based on their study, learners will lead 10 Bible studies in the book of Ephesians.

Pastoral Track

The Pastoral Track consists of the three Discipleship Track courses, all courses in the Bible Teaching Track, plus the following courses:

PREPARING TO PREACH teaches and illustrates the basic elements of the sermon, and helps learners develop, and preach, their own sermon from each of these three types. Outcome: Learners will complete three sermon outlines, and preach one sermon from each: topical, textual, and expository.

A PANORAMA OF CHRISTIAN HISTORY provides a “big picture” view of the Church from the 1st through the 20th century. It also emphasizes practical lessons we can apply to our own ministry. Outcome: Learners will teach this course in another context.

CONTENDING FOR THE FAITH is a course on Christian apologetics, which will equip learners to defend and share their faith, especially among intellectual unbelievers. Outcome: Learners will engage in a ministry of defending and sharing their faith.

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INTRODUCTORY GROUP MEETING

Perspective and Objectives Christian homes face more stress now than at any other time in history. Sadly, many are crumbling. Often this is because the husband and wife have been unaware of, or failed to practice, Biblical principles that apply to their life together. “Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain.” This verse from Psalm 127:1 applies to today ‘s homes, just as it did in the Psalmist ‘s day. You, as the study leader, have the enviable position of helping couples begin to understand and apply these principles to their marriages. That’s exciting! Naturally, before you can lead others to understand and apply the Bible truths taught in this course, you must first work through each lesson with the same diligence you would expect from your students. You may want to make notes beside points you want to emphasize. Each week as you prepare to lead your study group, review the lesson, your notes, and the suggestions in this guide. You may find that outlining your plan for each meeting, including the amount of time you plan to spend on each point, is helpful. The first gathering of any group or class is a crucial factor in its success. A climate, or atmosphere, is established that determines how comfortable the participants will be with each other, and, as mentioned in the introductory section, such feelings can determine how well students will learn. For this reason, the emphasis in Session 1 is on getting acquainted with one another and establishing a warm social climate that will make participants want to return. An introduction to the content and distinctives of this course is also included. You ‘ll close the session with a time of corporate prayer, affirming the need for the Holy Spirit to build a close-knit, highly motivated group of students. Your objective for this session is that learners will: 1. Learn the names of others in the group. 2. Participate in a non-threatening activity designed to break down relational barriers and increase students‘ “comfort level”

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with the group. 3. Receive their student texts and become acquainted with the subject matter to be covered in this course. 4. Identify the requirements of this course in order to intelligently commit themselves to fulfill those requirements. 5. Understand the head, heart, and hands approach to learning used in this iTIM course. 6. Dedicate this course and themselves to the Lord through a time of corporate prayer.

INTRODUCTION TO ONE ANOTHER (20-25 minutes) As your class members arrive, give each of them a name tag and a marker. If facilities permit, some light refreshments will help establish an informal, friendly atmosphere. Greet each person warmly, and work hard at remembering the names of people new to you. If possible, arrange chairs in a circle so that people can face each other. After you open with prayer, introduce yourself and tell the group that you are looking forward to getting to know each person better. Tell one thing about yourself that will help the group feel they know you. Use the following activity (or substitute a “mixer” of your own) to break the ice and get interaction started. Ask learners to introduce themselves and share something that they would like the group to know about them. After everyone has shared, explain that this activity has another purpose. It is a small demonstration of what you expect from this course. Each person has something unique to contribute to the group. Without everyone’s contribution, the mix just won‘t be the same. In this course, as you and your group members study and apply the Word of God, each person will add a unique discovery that will result in a time of growth for all. Perhaps your group members have shared some real heart concerns and special needs or prayer requests. If so, this would be a good time to pause and offer sentence prayers for those in the group. Close with a prayer that God will draw close to each learner and reveal His principles for home building and maintenance. Pray that God would enable each home represented to become all that He intends.

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INTRODUCTION TO THIS COURSE (10-15 minutes) Explain that there are two main objectives for this course: to discover for ourselves God‘s plan for our families and to begin what will become a lifetime of applying that plan. In order to accomplish these objectives for our families, we must first begin to meet regularly with God so that He can shape us and lead us as we grow. As they will discover while preparing Lesson 1 this week, they will need a loose-leaf notebook (an 8½ by 5½ is recommended, or the type and size of notebook they prefer). They will use this to begin a spiritual journal. They are expected to bring these notebooks to their first class. Explain to the learners how the suggested readings for daily devotions are to be used. They are found on Page 8 of their workbooks. Stress the importance of faithfully reading these passages each week. Explain that these readings are designed to correspond with the lesson for each week. Begin with week #1 and ask them to look for verses that confirm the Biblical foundation for marriage. Encourage learners to begin their spiritual journals this week as they read these passages and write down their responses. Ask everyone to open his/her workbook to the last page of lesson one. Point out the section titled “For Memory”. Tell learners that each lesson ends with a verse to memorize. Psalm 127:1 is the verse to learn by the time you meet again. Encourage everyone to come prepared to review these memory verses each week together.

INTRODUCTION TO iTIM DISTINCTIVES (10 minutes) Explain that iTIM courses are designed to reinforce knowledge as well as provide opportunities for practical application of this knowledge in life. Every iTIM course is based on the head, heart, and hands approach to learning. Group members will need to study the Bible material carefully to gain knowledge. But knowledge cannot support an effective ministry unless it is first applied to the life of the learner. If one has head knowledge, which has been applied personally, is still ineffective without hands that reach out to serve. Each Christian is called to minister, to serve. What is received is to be shared with others. Explain that each lesson is designed to take approximately an

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hour. Emphasize that the discussion each week will be based on the learners‘ completed lessons. It is important that each class member feel accountable to the others to attend class faithfully, work through the lesson thoroughly, pray regularly for the group, and follow through with the application each week. Ask each group member to open his text and thumb through the lessons. Point out that iTIM uses a workbook approach to involve the learner and reinforce what is being learned. Each week the author will provide some insights on that week‘s topic, but the main goal of each lesson is to raise questions and provide study projects that involve the learner in his/her own study of Scripture. Students should write answers in their workbooks, and jot down questions or passages they wish to discuss in class.

The Real Teacher (10-15 minutes) Read John 16:7-15. In this passage, Jesus is telling His disciples about the Holy Spirit, whom He will send to them. Affirm that everyone in the group is dependent on the Holy Spirit for illumination, both during individual study and in group discussion. He is the Teacher; we are His instruments—the means He uses to teach others. Close by reading Psalm 119:18: “Open my eyes, that I may see wonderful things in your law.” Encourage each group member to begin each week ‘s study with a similar prayer, expressing dependence on the Holy Spirit for His insights. To close this first session, encourage volunteers to pray conversationally, dedicating themselves and the course to the Lord. More specifically, ask them to pray for one another ‘s self-discipline, so that nothing in their schedules will crowd out the preparation time for next week ‘s session. Finally, don‘t forget to make prayer a part of your own preparation each week. Make a list of those in your group. Pray for them weekly by name. Remember that the goal of the course isn‘t merely increased knowledge, but changed lives—and only the Holy Spirit can accomplish that. As you depend on Him, this course can become an exciting adventure as you watch changes take place in the lives of your learners. May God use you as a channel to stimulate, encourage and hold accountable your fellow course members!

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Lesson 1

FOUNDATIONS OF THE HOME

Perspective and Objectives When a contractor begins to build, he must first spend considerable time and money preparing the site. Often soil samples are taken which indicate whether special building techniques will be needed. Graders may reshape the area where the foundation will be laid. Under certain conditions this preparation process can take more time and as much money as building the rest of the building. This same preparation is needed to build stable marriages. As we examine our lives in the light of Scripture, we see our need of Christ to keep us steady. As we pray daily, God does His work in our hearts to smooth out the areas in our lives that would interfere with harmony in our family. As you prepare to lead this lesson, pray that each learner will: 1. Commit to daily devotional Bible readings and entries in a journal. 2. Set up a prayer list and come prepared to share his/her system with the group. 3. Memorize Psalm 127:1. 4. Determine to begin building his/her home on God and His principles.

Focusing Activity (5-10 minutes) Inform learners of this week ‘s suggested Bible readings and ask them to continue to record their responses in their journals each day this week. (Use the readings for week #2 on Page 8 of their book). Tell them to look for God ‘s definition of submission. Ask if anyone is familiar with an experience similar to that of the Harringtons in Lesson 1. Experiences like these humble us before God. Be ready to point out those examples that deal with foundational problems. Ask for one or more volunteers to share Psalm 127:1 in their own words. If some learners share a version that is vague,

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show appreciation and then ask the group to add more to the explanation. It is important that learners see how this verse specifically applies to them and their lives. After several have shared: ask that if we really believe this verse, how will it affect our lives?

Discovery in the Word (30-35 minutes) Building our Lives on God ‘s Foundation Begin with sharing an entry from your own journal. Your vulnerability will encourage them in their sharing. Then ask for group members to share their blessings and successes in their quiet times since the last group meeting. Some may wish to read one of this week ‘s entries from their journals. Others may wish to share how they organized their prayer notebooks or their success with using a system for regular prayer. Remind the group that if we are to influence our family for Christ, we must have discipline and persistence. Ask if anyone had any problem understanding I Corinthians 7:12-14. Paul said he (rather than the Lord) was speaking on this issue because there was no Old Testament Scripture that addressed this subject, so he was unable to quote the Lord. Ask someone to explain the main point Paul was stressing. Daily Quiet Time Ask several people to share what they found to be the best time for their quiet time. Parents of young children may share their frustrations that while the early morning hours seem to be the best time, they are simply unavailable. Suggest that they try to schedule their devotions after lunch and wait until the children are older to look for quiet in the mornings. Too often, we are stymied by something so simple as a schedule. Urge your learners not to let such a small thing block their efforts to meet with God. Share the following poem with the group.

THE DIFFERENCE “I got up early one morning and rushed right into the day; I had so much to accomplish that I didn’t have time to pray. Problems just tumbled about me and heavier came each task,

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Lesson 2

TWO BECOMING ONE

Perspective and Objectives This important lesson addresses what may be one of the most difficult aspects for some families. Some of your group members may have strong misunderstandings about what Scripture teaches on this subject. Biblical submission does not go hand-in-hand with oppression. Nor does it imply inferiority or superiority of one person over another. As you prepare to clarify this important point, pray that each of your learners will: 1. Understand that God created men and women equal in three distinct ways and gave them three primary responsibilities. 2. Understand submission and explain how it relates to love. 4. Be able to explain God ‘s line of authority. 5. Be able to say Ephesians 5:33 from memory.

Lesson 1: Accountability Encourage learners to share from their journal entries for this week. Recite the two verses you have learned together, or divide up into pairs and have everyone say the verses to a partner. Send the class prayer notebook around the group so learners can add praises and requests for prayer and share time. (You will read their entries aloud at the end of class so everyone will be able to update their prayer lists.) Remind learners of this week ‘s suggested Bible readings and ask them to record their responses in their journals each day this week. As they read the passages for week #3, ask them to look for positive steps as to how forgiveness fits into his/her life.

Focusing Activity (5-10 minutes) Bring several appliance manuals to the group meeting. To open today ‘s lesson, read aloud from a few of these manuals.

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You might say something like this: I ‘ve been looking at the owner ‘s manuals for some of our appliances and I ‘ve noticed something. Each one says, “Caution: Read rules for safe operation and follow these instructions carefully.” Manufacturers go to a great deal of trouble to tell us how to operate their products so that we will get the best results. Just as it is important to follow the manufacturer ‘s instructions with a new food processor, it is also important to follow God ‘s instructions for our homes.

Discovery in the Word (30-35 minutes) Equality of the Sexes The constitution of the United States reminds us that we are all created equal. Without impinging on later parts of this lesson: Have group members discuss the relationship of roles to equality. Joint Responsibilities TO BE UNITED IN TOTAL COMMITMENT TO EACH OTHER. Being totally committed is not a popular concept. Ask your group for information they may have about pre-nuptial agreements that provide for the division of material possessions in the event of a divorce. Ask: How does Genesis 2:24 speak to this situation? Discuss: What motivation might strengthen a husband and wife‘s commitment to one another when they encounter difficulties? Provide an opportunity for someone to share how he/she has dealt with learning to separate completely from parents and become totally committed to his/her spouse. TO HELP EACH OTHER FEEL COMPLETE: Make sure everyone understands the meaning of complementing one another. Have half of the group look up I Peter 3:7 and the other half look up Genesis 2:18. Discuss the picture these verses paint of married life. Ask: What pitfalls do you think husbands and wives who plan to contribute 50% each might face in their marriage? Encourage those learners who have learned to give 100% to share what the results have been in their marriage. Be sure that learners realize that score-keeping has no place in a marriage.

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Lesson 3

TWO KINDS OF FORGIVENESS

Perspective and Objectives For some of your learners, this may be one of the most life changing lessons in this course. Pray that God will use you as you lead this study and that each learner will: 1. Be able to give a complete definition of forgiveness and understand the two Biblical principles for forgiveness. 2. Learn and apply the steps to forgiving others. 3. Seek and accept forgiveness—from God as well as other people. 4. Be able to recite from memory Colossians 3:13

ACCOUNTABILITY (3-5 minutes) Encourage group members to share any insights they may have gained during the past week. Some may want to read from their journals or share a verse of Scripture they found especially meaningful. Spend a few minutes reviewing the verses you have learned. Either recite the verse together, or ask volunteers to say the verse for the group, or divide into pairs or small groups and let your learners review together. Encourage anyone who has not yet mastered the verses to review them daily at the close of their quiet time or post cards with the verses in a prominent place so it will be easy to review them several times each day. Remind learners of the suggested Bible reading references. (Use the readings on p. 8 for week #7.) As you do, say something like this: This week as you read these verses, compare your families‘ communication with what they read. Don’t forget to make notes in your journals. Give the group a few minutes to share how their journals are working out. Some may have experienced difficulty in being consistent at first, but now are forming a strong habit. Encourage any learners who are still having difficulty to analyze their schedules and see what is interfering. They may be able to

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rearrange their day more effectively if you encourage them and challenge them to try it. Send the prayer journal around so everyone in the group will have an opportunity to add their praises or requests.

Focusing Activity (5-8 minutes) To focus learners ‘ attention on today ‘s topic and help them see its importance, ask: What are three of the most difficult words to say in the English language? (“I am sorry,” or “I am wrong.”) Discuss: Why is it the responsibility of Christians to mirror forgiveness?

Discovery in the Word (30-35 minutes) Forgiveness: Easy To Say But Hard To Do Discuss: Why is forgiveness so difficult? When we think of what we ‘ve been forgiven by God, why is it hard to forgive others? Defining Forgiveness Ask: What is forgiveness? Draw out the group members as they develop their definition until it is complete. (Forgiveness is more than words. It involves choices, attitudes, and action.) Basic Principles of Forgiveness As you discuss the two basic principles of forgiveness ask: With whom does the responsibility for forgiving lie? What does unilateral forgiveness mean? Why is this burden of forgiving in all circumstances put on us? (God has forgiven us for all of our sins. Our prayers will be hindered if we refuse to forgive. A root of bitterness can result from a failure to forgive, Hebrews 12:15.) Forgiveness is Essential for Effective Praying Ask: What did you discover was the result of an unforgiving spirit? Ask someone to read Matthew 6:14, 15 aloud to the group. The End Result of Refusing to Forgive Ask your learners to look at Hebrews 12:15 as someone reads

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Lesson 4

STRENGTH IN COMMUNICATION

Perspective and Objectives Some studies show that a lack of communication is one of the chief causes of divorce. Some families don ‘t deal with unpleasantness at all. Others use the “silent treatment” as a form of punishment. Other families are characterized by lots of chatter, but little communication. As you prepare to lead this study, pray that God will guide you and grant you sensitivity as you address this important issue. You want learners to: 1. Be able to identify the ten guidelines for good communication. 2. Evaluate the communication within their families. 3. Commit to doing their part to implement these guidelines in their families. 4. Be able to recite Colossians 3:15, 16 ACCOUNTABILITY (5-8 minutes) Encourage learners to share from their journals. Divide into pairs and ask learners to recite aloud the verses for last week and this week. (Colossians 3:13 and Colossians 3:15, 16.) Remind learners of the Scripture reading references for this week #8. Encourage them to think about the importance of family togetherness and to record how God spoke to them from these passages in their journals. Send the prayer journal around the room so learners may add their praises and requests. You will read these aloud at the close of the study so everyone can update his/her own prayer lists.

Focusing Activity (5-8 minutes) Before class, prepare a large piece of paper on which you have written the following adage: “I know you believe you understand what you think I said,

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but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” To focus learners ‘ attention on this vital aspect of family life, ask them to comment on this quotation. Or, you might say: We are going to see what kind of listeners you are. Ask learners to turn and face their neighbors and tell them four facts about themselves. Then ask if the listeners can repeat what they have just learned. Ask: Do you listen this carefully at home?

Discovery in the Word (35-40 minutes) How Well Do You Communicate? Ask: Did you discover anything about yourselves as you responded to the four circumstances given in the first section of your workbooks? Maybe some of your learners feel that their spouses or children need to work on this area as well. Some of your learners may have family members who refuse to discuss this issue. If this is the case, encourage your learners to think through the guidelines and commit to doing their part to improve communication—without waiting for any other family member to change. Ten Guidelines for Good Communication 1. Accept each other as they really are. Ask someone to read what he wrote in his workbook as a paraphrase of Ephesians 4:1-3. Say something like this: While there are a great many things about our family members that we like very much, often we tend to dwell on those areas of imperfection we have discovered. Sometimes we become preoccupied with these weaknesses and this preoccupation interferes with our communication. Accepting others as they are helps them to be open, honest, vulnerable and accepting with us. This often helps us become more honest with them. Accepting someone ‘s failures does not mean that we are not concerned with their higher good, but merely that we have realized that we are not responsible for effecting the changes we see indicated. Some learners may need to list some aspects of their family members they find difficult to accept and pray over that list—naming each flaw before the Lord, and then destroy the list. (Caution them not to leave the list intact, lest communication be destroyed.) When an item on that list

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Lesson 5

RHYTHM AND TIME

Perspective and Objectives Once again this week, you will look at applying Biblical principles to a God-given resource, time. Pray that God will enable your learners to: 1. Understand three basic biblical principles about time. 2. Examine their use of time and begin applying these principles. 3. Memorize Ephesians 5:15-17.

ACCOUNTABILITY (3-5 minutes) Ask learners to find a partner and say as many as they can of the verses they have learned during this course. As one learner says a verse, they should then switch so that each one has a chance to recite as many verses as he/she can. Challenge learners to look in their lesson book for the verse to be memorized that next week so they can practice it every day!

Focusing Activity (8-10 minutes) As you send the prayer notebook around for additions, give learners a few minutes to share entries in their journals and Scripture verses which they found especially meaningful. Then show them the sentences that you’ve written on poster paper or on the white board. Where did the time go? I just can ‘t seem to find the time.... Time flies. Ask learners to comment. Help learners to realize that everyone has the same amount of time each day. It ‘s how we use our time that makes a difference.

Discovery in the Word (35-40 minutes) A Biblical Example of How to Get Things Done:

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Review with the group the principles Moses and Joshua used to accomplish their tasks. Ask: Which principle is the hardest for you to apply? What have you found that helps you to live by this principle? Determining Your Goals Was it revealing to you to examine your goals? Do you think goal setting on a regular basis would be helpful for you? Some couples set both long and short-term goals. Perhaps someone in the group will be able to share how setting goals has helped personally or by someone he/she knows. How to Determine Your Daily Priorities Encourage learners to share how they avoid being sidetracked and any tips they may have for focusing on their priorities. Ask: What do you find is the biggest obstacle to maintaining your priorities? Is it texting or keeping up with Facebook, or chatting on the phone? Some group members may have discovered that their days are often interrupted and they are sidetracked continually. Sometimes identifying the problem leads to a solution. Perhaps others in the group will have suggestions that worked for them. Ask: Were you able to use the plan suggested in your workbook? How did it go? Choosing to Do the Important Instead of the Insistent Spend a few minutes discussing the suggestions in their workbook. TAKE TIME TO DEVELOP A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. This is foundational. Ask someone to recite Psalm 127:1. TAKE TIME TO LOVE THOSE AROUND YOU. Even on busy days, we need to express our love. TAKE TIME TO MEET YOUR OWN PERSONAL NEEDS. Time taken for relaxation and exercise will increase your productivity and enhance your life. TAKE TIME TO DO PERSONAL PLANNING. Tell learners about a preschooler who thought his grandpa had gotten lost. He said, “Grandpa, I don’t mind walking, but I sure do hate walking in the wrong direction!” We need to be sure of our direction. Ask a learner to read aloud the quotation from Robert Moffatt in the learner ‘s workbook. Lead the group in reciting the verse for this week in unison.

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Lesson 6

DIRECT YOUR MONEY

Perspective and Objectives Money management problems can cause incredible stress for families. Financial pressures are responsible for suicides and divorces as well as cross words. Pray that God will help your learners to: 1. Understand God ‘s principles for finances. 2. Apply these principles to their own finances. 3. Memorize II Corinthians 9:8.

ACCOUNTABILITY (3-5 minutes) Divide the group into pairs and ask everyone to recite the memory verses for this week, and the previous week to his partner. (Ephesians 5:15-17, Colossians 3:15-16) Send the class prayer notebook around the group so members can add their praises and requests. Remind them of the suggested Bible readings for this week and encourage learners to continue writing in their journals each day. (Use the readings for week #7. Suggest they look for good principles to apply to their family life in these readings.)

Focusing Activity (8-10 minutes) Encourage group members to share from their journals this week to help introduce the lesson. Some may wish to read a verse that has special meaning for them. Tell the group that you are going to ask them some questions—but you don ‘t want anyone to answer out loud—at least not yet. Some learners may want to share their experiences, but encourage them to wait until later in the lesson. Ask: Have you and your husband or wife ever argued over money? Have you ever wondered where the money went? Do you wish you were better able to manage money? Then say something like this: Perhaps today ‘s lesson will be helpful as we address this issue that often plagues families.

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Discovery in the Word (40-45 minutes) What Does God ‘s Word Say About Finances? Were you surprised to find out how many verses there are in the New Testament concerning our possessions? Discuss the three Biblical principles presented in the learner ‘s workbook. Principle 1: God is the true owner of all that you possess. Principle 2: Your possessions are a trust from God and should be carefully managed, not just used. Principle 3: God has promised to meet the needs of those who give faithfully to Him. As you lead the discussion, ask: What is the implication of the first two principles? Can someone give an example of how God has met the needs of someone you know who gave faithfully to Him? Then ask someone to read Malachi 3:6-12 aloud. Practical Guidelines for Managing Your Money Share this adage with your learners and discuss how they think it applies to home finance: “If you can ‘t measure it, you can‘t manage it.” Ask: Is it true? Does careful measurement lead to better management? Making a Budget, and Making a Budget Work! Ask: How many of you keep a written budget? Encourage those who do to share any tips they‘ve discovered to make the job easier. Using a whiteboard or overhead transparency, demonstrate one way to keep a written budget. Show how this helps eliminate the tendency to overspend in certain areas. (If expenditures are written down, it is easier to see the need to stay within prescribed limits. If one area goes over, cuts must be made elsewhere.) Safeguarding Your Budget Review the suggestions in this section for making a budget work. Some stores count on impulse buying. Grocery stores are arranged to encourage it. Managers figure that if you pick it up, they‘ve sold it. Encourage learners to avoid situations that are likely to encourage or pressure them to “decide tonight.”

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Lesson 7

WHEN TWO BECOME THREE, OR MORE

Perspective and Objectives In Lessons 2 you examined the importance of developing the relationship between husbands and wives. In this lesson you have begun to explore the impact children have on a home. As couples become parents, their relationships change. New demands are made on them. It is important that couples understand and maintain the proper priorities as they accept these important responsibilities. As you prepare to lead this study, pray that your learners will: 1. Examine his/her priorities and adjust them as necessary so God will be first; spouse, second; and children third. 2. Begin to communicate love more effectively. 3. Understand how to use authority within their homes. 4. Be able to say Proverbs 17:6 from memory.

Accountability Ask your learners to divide into pairs or small groups and recite the memory verse for last week. Demonstrate your commitment to this study by joining a group and reciting the verse yourself. After everyone has recited and the group has come together, give an opportunity for sharing verses which had special meaning to some of your learners this week. Some group members may wish to share from their journals and others may want to report on their progress with their quiet time. To start the ball rolling, ask: Can you see a change in your life since you started having a regular quiet time? Is life easier? (Probably not. Learners are likely to face new challenges as they determine to follow God ‘s plan for their homes.) Have you changed? Send the prayer notebook around again this week. Encourage learners to write down any answers to prayer they would like to share with the group. Remind them of the suggested

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devotional readings. Say something like this: As you have your quiet time this week, look for the Biblical standards for discipline. (You will be using the readings for week #7.)

Focusing Activity (5-8 minutes) To start off this lesson, ask your learners: How many interpersonal relationships did you discover at your house? What happens when you have several houseguests? Are you able to maintain your priorities, or do they change? Do you see now why holidays and vacations can become stressful? Which relationship suffers most? Which relationship is the first to suffer? Is it possible that parents bring on tantrums and show-off behavior by trying to meet the needs of too many other people? In this lesson we will examine how to maintain a balance of love and authority in our homes.

Discovery in the Word (30-35 minutes) Order Your Priorities When children come into the home time priorities must change. Sometimes however couples may feel that they must still do all the same things they did before the first child arrived. What are your experiences or reflections about ways to avoid over-commitment during these busy and sometimes hectic years? Some may suggest using a calendar and scheduling in devotions and special activities to build relationships with spouses and children. If the calendar is filled in first with these items, they may begin to become more of a priority than if they are left for the odd moments. Some couples have a regular date night with each other. Other couples schedule a “date night” for one child each month with Dad or Mom. These times can be used to build relationships—even if the activity you plan is very simple. Sometimes just focusing on a particular child while gardening or baking cookies or eating a donut can help strengthen a relationship. Others may say they never agree to a commitment at first. They say, “Let me call you back.” This gives them time to weigh their priorities without feeling pressured.

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Lesson 8

SEX AFTER CHILDREN ARRIVE, OH MY!

Perspective and Objectives This lesson deals with an important side of marriage. It is also one that calls for sensitivity. Pray that God will lead you and that each learner will: 1. Understand that a successful sexual relationship is based on how the couple relate to each other all day long—not just in the bedroom. 2. Take positive steps toward a more satisfying love life. 3. Be able to recite Song of Solomon 6:3; 7:10 from memory.

Accountability Encourage learners to share insights from their journals and any verses that were especially meaningful this week. Some group members may have questions about their reading. Encourage them to mention these as well. Ask each learner to choose a partner and recite to one another the verses they learned this week. While you are passing around the prayer notebook to be updated, remind each learner of the suggested Bible readings for this week, encouraging everyone to continue writing in his journal. Challenge learners to look for God ‘s priorities for a family from the readings for week #7.

Focusing Activity (5-8 minutes) The experience of Sue and Jeff in the introduction to this lesson can get this lesson off to a lively discussion. Make sure that the group recalls this account, or review it briefly. To help learners evaluate this incident, ask the following questions: How could that headache have been avoided? Discuss what Jeff might have done differently. What could Sue have done that would have helped Jeff spend the evening differently? How can we set the scene so that we really have a good time

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once the bedroom door is closed?

Discovery in the Word (35-40 minutes) Sex Shouldn’t Begin In The Bedroom! Ask learners to share some little things they may have done that resulted in a strong feeling of intimacy at night. Draw out thoughts on the results of thinking negatively about one ‘s spouse during the day; then relate these comments to Philippians 4:8. It ‘s Worth the Effort Read, or ask someone to read I Corinthians 7:1-5. Draw out comments from the group, based on these verses. You may ask for such examples as: Why is this command important for Christians to obey today? What are some of the things which are done to circumvent this command? What will be the effect on the overall relationship between husband and wife? Plan to Grow This section is a very personal one, and your learners may not feel comfortable sharing too specifically! However, you may get the discussion started by asking: Does one ‘s sex life have to go downhill as a person gets older? What positive steps can be taken so that a couple ‘s desire for intimacy with one another can keep on growing? Encourage your learners to follow through on the activity in this section if they have not already done so. Suggest a dinner date together, or some other appropriate occasion to provide the right opportunity for doing this. Intimacy Doesn’t Happen Automatically Using the two examples in this section as a springboard, ask participants if they can suggest other factors in the marriage relationship which can help strengthen intimacy? Results of a Satisfying Love Life To cover the material in this section, ask some or all of the following questions:

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Lesson 9

BASIC TRAINING OF YOUR CHILDREN

Perspective and Objectives Understanding the importance God places on discipline helps many parents become more effective in disciplining their children. It won ‘t be easy, but God will honor our sincere efforts. Pray that God will enable each learner to: 1. Understand what discipline is and why Christian parents must exercise it. 2. Understand the three methods of discipline and the importance of all three. 3. Begin to apply the six rules for discipline. 4. Recite from memory Colossians 3:20, 21. Remind learners of the suggested Bible readings for this week and say: As you read these passages this week, be sure to write down your response in your journals. Gain new thoughts about how “Togetherness” can help your family. Send the prayer notebook around the group again this week so group members can add praises and requests to be shared at the close of the study. FOCUSING ACTIVITY (3-5 minutes) To focus your learners ‘ attention on this lesson, begin by asking: What is the difference between discipline and punishment? How would you define discipline? Have the group develop a working definition for the word discipline and write it on a Whiteboard or overhead transparency.

Discovery in the Word (40-45 minutes)Motive for Discipline Ask someone to read aloud the last part of Galatians 4:19. Ask: How do our goals for disciplining our own children compare with Paul ‘s goal for his spiritual children? (Probably

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they are much the same.) Yet, sometimes we fail to realize that this is our motive. Some parents may be inspired to give the discipline of their children a higher priority in light of this verse. Methods of Discipline With the help of your learners, list on the whiteboard the three basic types of discipline. Ask: Which do you think is the most effective type of training? Why? How do you use verbal instruction in your house? Are you guiding and encouraging or berating and belittling? Are your children developing “Mother Deafness”? When your child willfully disobeys, how do you react? Does your child know what to expect from you? Does he understand why he is being punished? Should parents punish their child while they are still angry? (Not if they struggle with controlling their anger.) Why do you think physical punishment is encouraged in the Bible? (It is effective. It does not damage self-esteem like verbal punishment does.) Six Rules For Applying Discipline Briefly review the rules given in the learners‘ workbooks, making sure they understand each of these rules before discussing the applications of them. Ask: Which of these rules is the most difficult for you to keep? Does anyone have any insight to share about any of these rules? Using What You ‘ve Studied Going around the group. ask learners to read from their workbooks the rule they felt applied to a situation and the comments they wrote. Add your brief comments for amplification or clarification. (Rule 1—4; Rule 2—5; Rule 3—2; Rule 4—1; Rule 5—6; Rule 6—3; Rule 7—5;) A Word to Imperfect Parents Ask: Have you ever made a mistake in disciplining your children? When the laughter has died down, encourage those who are willing to share how they dealt with the mistake(s)

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Lesson 10

FAMILY TOGETHERNESS

Perspective and Objectives Years ago, families did not have to schedule time to be together. They worked together, played together, and worshiped together. Studies show that some fathers today average spending as little as two and a half minutes of quality time with their children each day! The evening meal used to be a time when the whole family shared events from the day. For some families today, dinner is often eaten on the run. Are we too busy? Do families need to spend more time together? Is it worth the effort? As you prepare to lead this lesson, pray that God will guide you as you seek these objectives: 1. That each learner will examine his/her schedule and set aside some quality time for the family each week. 2. That learners will reevaluate time spent on TV, Electronics, Hand-held Devices, and Gaming so that they are in control. 3. That each learner will become more aware of the importance of growing spiritually as a family and begin to set aside time for family worship each day. 4. That each learner will memorize Joshua 24:15

ACCOUNTABILITY (3-5 minutes) Divide up so learners can recite their verses to their partners. Encourage learners to share from their journals what they discovered this week in their quiet time. Who has a verse to share? Send the class prayer notebook around so praises and requests can be recorded. Remind learners to write down answers to prayer requests so everyone will be up to date. Also remind them of the Bible readings for this coming week.

Focusing Activity (5-8 minutes) Before the group meets, prepare 3” x 5” notecards with these sentences on them. Give the cards to group members as they

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come into the class. “I ‘m so tired at the end of the day, all I want to do is rest. The kids and I enjoy relaxing in front of the TV.” “The only time we have as a family is when we are in the car—the kids have soccer almost every night and my husband and I have class twice a week.” “We‘d like to do something special with the kids—but money is just too tight right now.” “Sometimes I think the twins spend more time with the baby sitter than they do with my wife and me. But what can I do?” As you open this lesson, say something like this: Some of us might have felt depressed when we studied this lesson—all the things we aren‘t doing! But depression won‘t get us anywhere! Then ask those learners with cards to read them aloud and give the group time to react.

Discovery in the Word (35-40 minutes) Recreation: A Priority? Use the questions below to supplement your own as you discuss this section. This discussion may spark the imagination of your group and result in some creative family recreation. Why is it important for you to set aside some time for family fun? Does your family have a regular family time? When? How does it work? As you filled in the chart of your weekly activities, what time frames were open for family events? Did this leave you satisfied? What adjustments might you make to free up more time? As you thought through some activities that you might do, what are some of the out-of-the-ordinary ones? Who is responsible for planning what you will do? Sometimes even our best plans fall flat. Why? What are some hints you can give us about how to succeed with family activities?

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Lesson 11

FAMILY NUTRITION

Perspective and Objectives It may be surprising to study nutrition in a Bible study—but the Bible is not silent on this issue. Moreover, nutrition affects family life in several important ways. Take care that this section does not focus on anyone who may be obviously overweight. Your thrust should be to help learners discover that the Bible encourages us to eat well-balanced meals and maintain good health. As you prepare to lead this study, pray that each learner will: 1. Understand the Biblical principles of nutrition. 2. Evaluate his/her current diet and make adjustments as indicated. 3. Memorize Galatians 5:22, 23.

ACCOUNTABILITY (3-5 minutes) Since you are nearing the end of this study, review with your learners the verses they have memorized in this course. You might ask everyone to say the verses aloud together as you lead. It may be helpful to introduce each verse by saying the lesson title or subject and then the reference. Or, ask learners to recite as many verses as they can to their partners. Encourage the group to continue reviewing each verse every day this week. Send the prayer notebook around for additions again this week. While it is going around, remind learners of the suggested Bible readings for week #12. Ask them to begin applying the principles from these verses.

Focusing Activity (8-10 minutes) To focus the group ‘s attention on the importance of nutrition, bring several ads from magazines featuring products that are designed to appeal to those who are concerned about their nutrition or the shape their bodies are in (vitamins, diet foods, exercise machines, health spas.) Say something like this: In our

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culture we have more variety in our diets than ever before. Yet, while people in third world countries are starving, we are constantly bombarded with ads like these to help us stay healthy and keep our bodies in shape.

Discovery in the Word (35-40 minutes) The Bible and Nutrition As you discuss how the Bible relates to nutrition: Write on an overhead or whiteboard: “Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.” Ask: What implications does this statement have for nutrition? How does self-control relate to the Christian life? Why is this important? Rating Your Food Choices Ask: What did you discover when you rated your food choices? What areas of your diet do you need to modify? What about your children? USDA‘s Daily Food Guide Remind group members that these are excellent guidelines. It is said, “We are what we eat.” Discuss this and how it applies to our daily intake of food. Should You Worry About Your Weight? Perhaps the key word here is “worry.” Learners should see that action is more helpful than worry. Moreover, some people who need to be concerned with their diet don‘t have a problem with being overweight. These people may be anorexic, or suffer from a binge-purge syndrome. Others deprive themselves of the foods they need because they want to keep their weight down. Penny-Pinching Hints For Good Health Ask learners to react to the suggestions they found in their workbooks. Ask: What other suggestions do you have along these lines?

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Lesson 12

FAMILY TO FAMILIES

Perspective and Objectives This lesson may be difficult for some of your learners because they perceive that hospitality requires expensive furniture and fancy food. Actually, this is not the case. Often guests feel more comfortable when furnishings are simple and the hosts are able to focus on their guests rather than the menu. Pray that God will help you lead this lesson and that each learner will: 1. Understand what true hospitality is, and why it is important. 2. Begin to practice hospitality more and with greater comfort. 3. Memorize Romans 12:13 Pass the prayer notebook around for learners to add praises and requests as they have done in previous weeks. Remind learners of this week‘s suggested Bible readings. Remind them to write down their responses to these passages in their journal.

Focusing Activity (5-8 minutes) To introduce this lesson, ask your learners to share any special verses they found in their readings this week. Others may want to share what they have written in their journals. Ask learners to recite Romans 12:13 in unison. Draw the group‘s attention to the illustration at the beginning of this lesson in the workbook. Ask: How does this compare to your house when guests are coming? Encourage learners to share where they are in regards to practicing hospitality.

Discovery in the Word (35-40 minutes) Defining Hospitality Work with the group until they have agreed on what it means to practice hospitality. Help them see that hospitality does not depend upon fancy furniture or a gourmet meal.

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The Bible Guides Us In Showing Hospitality As you discuss the Biblical guidelines for hospitality, use these questions to explore the full meaning of our responsibility. Is hospitality an option? (No, Hebrews 13:2.) What special incentive for being hospitable does Hebrews 13:2 give? (Some have entertained angels unawares. See Genesis 18:1-19. Perhaps someone will be able to quickly summarize this passage. It was the first reading for this last week.) Ask: What attitude should characterize our hospitality? Why do you think this is important? Are you able to focus on your guests rather than the details of entertaining them? What are some practical suggestions for making this the rule rather than the exception? What should be our motivation for practicing hospitality? (Love.) If it is, what will be our reward? (We will be called the Sons of the Highest.) It’s easier to practice hospitality only with those who are like us, or those to whom we owe an invitation? Maybe to those who are likely to invite us back? Is this kind of entertaining true obedience to the command to show hospitality? Perhaps some learners have had opportunities to open their homes to strangers or someone very different from themselves. Encourage them to share their experiences with the group. Why Is Hospitality So Important? On a whiteboard or overhead transparency, have the group help you list five ways hospitality is a ministry: 1) for fellowship, 2) evangelism, 3) a special welcome to those who attended your church for the first time, 4) providing for those in need, and 5) showing love to God ‘s servants.) Discuss: How that hospitality can become a tool for evangelism? (For instance: by inviting friends and neighbors to your home and building friendships with them, this may provide opportunities to share the Gospel. Opening your home to international students may be used by God to reach people in countries that are not open to missionaries at this time. Challenge learners to look at their possibilities for evangelism through hospitality.