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Avoiding Avoiding BurnoutBurnout

Keeping Going Keeping Going When the Going gets When the Going gets

toughtoughPrepared and presented by Barbara SmithPrepared and presented by Barbara Smith

www.hef.org.nzwww.hef.org.nz

““Most of us are the Most of us are the

authors of our own stress.authors of our own stress.

We want everything to beWe want everything to be

perfect perfect

and go according to schedule, and go according to schedule, everyone in the family to be everyone in the family to be

happy all the time…”happy all the time…”

……well, well, life just doesn’t run that life just doesn’t run that

smoothly”smoothly”

Nancy Plent (Unschoolers Network)Nancy Plent (Unschoolers Network)

Symptoms of BurnoutSymptoms of Burnout

• Marriage difficultiesMarriage difficulties• Lack of discipline in childrenLack of discipline in children• Lack of patienceLack of patience• Overeating or no appetiteOvereating or no appetite• Overreacting to minor issuesOverreacting to minor issues• Making irrational decisionsMaking irrational decisions• Unable to make rational Unable to make rational

decisionsdecisions• IrritabilityIrritability• Feeling overwhelmedFeeling overwhelmed• Lack of confidenceLack of confidence• YellingYelling

Symptoms of BurnoutSymptoms of Burnout cont.cont.

• Feeling frustratedFeeling frustrated• Crying easilyCrying easily• DepressionDepression• No motivationNo motivation• Physical symptomsPhysical symptoms• ClutterClutter• NightmaresNightmares• Blowing up – short fuseBlowing up – short fuse• Blaming othersBlaming others• Not enough timeNot enough time• Wanting to throw it all inWanting to throw it all in

Causes of Homeschool Causes of Homeschool BurnoutBurnout

• Not having regular time alone with GodNot having regular time alone with God• Not putting marriage firstNot putting marriage first• IllnessIllness• New babyNew baby• Added responsibilityAdded responsibility• New jobNew job• MovingMoving• Change in routineChange in routine• ERO reviewERO review• Over-scheduling activitiesOver-scheduling activities• Unrealistic expectationsUnrealistic expectations• Rigid adherence to a curriculumRigid adherence to a curriculum

Causes of Homeschool BurnoutCauses of Homeschool Burnout ContCont

• Lack of supportLack of support• Too many commitmentsToo many commitments• Falling into a repetitive patternFalling into a repetitive pattern• Forgetting to take care of and take Forgetting to take care of and take

time for ourselvestime for ourselves• Pushing children ahead before they Pushing children ahead before they

are readyare ready• Child with a different learning styleChild with a different learning style• Special needsSpecial needs• Death in familyDeath in family• Feeling pressure from family and Feeling pressure from family and

friendsfriends• Children feeling/thinking they should Children feeling/thinking they should

be at schoolbe at school• Pre-schoolersPre-schoolers

Strategies for Avoiding Strategies for Avoiding BurnoutBurnout

• Plan for time alone with God each dayPlan for time alone with God each day

• Dealing with marriage difficultiesDealing with marriage difficulties

• Implementing the 4 D’s of child disciplineImplementing the 4 D’s of child discipline

• DeclutterDeclutter

• Exercise and healthy dietExercise and healthy diet

• Map out ERO visitsMap out ERO visits

• Take time off when stress levels are too Take time off when stress levels are too highhigh

• Be flexibleBe flexible

• Lower your expectationsLower your expectations

• Change your teaching styleChange your teaching style

Strategies for Avoiding Strategies for Avoiding BurnoutBurnout contcont

• Limit scheduled activitiesLimit scheduled activities

• Get supportGet support

• Raise independent learnersRaise independent learners

• Strategize for meal timesStrategize for meal times• Limit screen time Limit screen time (TV, DVDs, xbox, Cell (TV, DVDs, xbox, Cell

etc)etc)

• Fathers taking chargeFathers taking charge

These next two overheads are These next two overheads are fromfrom

Rob Williamson Rob Williamson Chief Review Officer for the EROChief Review Officer for the EROSince 1989 numbers of children being Since 1989 numbers of children being

educated at home has increased educated at home has increased considerably.considerably.

• As at July 1993 2738 homeschoolers on the As at July 1993 2738 homeschoolers on the MoE database.MoE database.

• As at July 2001 5976 homeschoolers on As at July 2001 5976 homeschoolers on MoE databaseMoE database

• 3375 families as at July 20013375 families as at July 2001• 1994 .06% of total school population1994 .06% of total school population• Now less than 1% of total school populationNow less than 1% of total school population• 51% homeschoolers are male students51% homeschoolers are male students

The turnover of children The turnover of children being home educated is being home educated is

considerableconsiderableNumbers Numbers commencingcommencing homeschooling homeschooling

for the 12 months ending 30.06.01for the 12 months ending 30.06.01• 1304 students commenced home 1304 students commenced home

schoolingschoolingNumbers Numbers finishingfinishing homeschooling for 12 homeschooling for 12

months ending 30.06.01months ending 30.06.01• 1205 students finished 1205 students finished

homeschoolinghomeschooling• 255 finished within on year of starting255 finished within on year of starting• 783 (65%) finished within four years783 (65%) finished within four years

Source: Data Management and Analysis Division, MoESource: Data Management and Analysis Division, MoE

Plan for Time alone with God Plan for Time alone with God each dayeach day

Or stop and make time for Or stop and make time for yourselfyourself

Some good books on Some good books on MarriageMarriage

Available from Geneva books: genevabooks@clear.net.nz 06 329-8097

His Needs Her NeedsHis Needs Her NeedsHer Needs:Her Needs:1.1. AffectionAffection2.2. ConversationConversation3.3. Honesty and opennessHonesty and openness4.4. Financial SupportFinancial Support5.5. Family CommitmentFamily Commitment

His Needs:His Needs:1.1. Sexual FulfilmentSexual Fulfilment2.2. Recreational Recreational

CompanionshipCompanionship3.3. Attractive SpouseAttractive Spouse4.4. Domestic supportDomestic support5.5. AdmirationAdmiration

The Five Love LanguagesThe Five Love LanguagesHow to Express Heartfelt How to Express Heartfelt commitment to your matecommitment to your mate

1.1.Words of Words of affirmationaffirmation

2.2.Quality TimeQuality Time

3.3.Receiving GiftsReceiving Gifts

4.4.Acts of ServiceActs of Service

5.5.Physical TouchPhysical Touch

Three good books on Marriage Three good books on Marriage and family livingand family living

Book depository has these really cheap and free postage

From Forgiven to Forgiving From Forgiven to Forgiving by J E Adamsby J E Adams

When you've been wronged, the When you've been wronged, the best thing to do is forgive and best thing to do is forgive and forget, right? That's what forget, right? That's what many Christians believe, but many Christians believe, but is it biblical? Adams dispels is it biblical? Adams dispels misconceptions about misconceptions about forgiveness, reveals God's forgiveness, reveals God's true plan for absolution, and true plan for absolution, and shows you how to apply it to shows you how to apply it to your own relationships. Learn your own relationships. Learn how to "forgive and forget" how to "forgive and forget" God's way. God's way.

Implementing the Implementing the 4 D’s of child 4 D’s of child

disciplinediscipline1.1. DisobedienceDisobedience

2.2. DisrespectfulDisrespectful

3.3. DishonestyDishonesty

4.4. DestructiveDestructive

What is the first What is the first rule for disciplining rule for disciplining

children?children?You …… have more You …… have more

……………….. ………………..

than the childthan the child

The Heart of AngerThe Heart of AngerPractical help for the prevention Practical help for the prevention and cure of anger in children and cure of anger in children by by

Lou PrioloLou Priolo

Anger! Is it ever a problem Anger! Is it ever a problem in your home? in your home? Disrespectful tones? Disrespectful tones? Sibling fights? Loss of Sibling fights? Loss of patience? “ I know of no patience? “ I know of no other book that addresses other book that addresses this problem with such this problem with such practical and Biblical practical and Biblical wisdom” John McArthurwisdom” John McArthur

Anger! Is it ever a problem Anger! Is it ever a problem in your home? in your home? Disrespectful tones? Disrespectful tones? Sibling fights? Loss of Sibling fights? Loss of patience? “ I know of no patience? “ I know of no other book that addresses other book that addresses this problem with such this problem with such practical and Biblical practical and Biblical wisdom” John McArthurwisdom” John McArthur

Teach them Diligently:Teach them Diligently:How To Use The Scriptures How To Use The Scriptures

In Child Training In Child Training

There is far more to teaching your There is far more to teaching your children the Bible than merely children the Bible than merely telling them Bible stories. telling them Bible stories. Unfortunately, many parents feel Unfortunately, many parents feel ill-equipped for the task, so they ill-equipped for the task, so they neglect this vital aspect of neglect this vital aspect of Christian parenting. In doing so, Christian parenting. In doing so, they forfeit many of the greatest they forfeit many of the greatest blessings of parenthood. Here’s a blessings of parenthood. Here’s a valuable aid for parents seeking valuable aid for parents seeking help. - John MacArthur help. - John MacArthur

Shepherding a Child’s HeartShepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Trippby Tedd Tripp

•Shepherding

•Growing Kids God’s Way

Study groups

Shepherding a Child's HeartShepherding a Child's Heart satisfies satisfies the hunger for fresh, biblical the hunger for fresh, biblical approaches to child rearing. It is approaches to child rearing. It is about how to speak to the heart of about how to speak to the heart of your child. The things your child your child. The things your child does and says flow from the heart. does and says flow from the heart. Luke 6:45 puts it this way, ". . . out Luke 6:45 puts it this way, ". . . out of the overflow of the heart the of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks."mouth speaks."

Written for parents with children of Written for parents with children of any age, this insightful book any age, this insightful book provides perspectives and provides perspectives and procedures for shepherding your procedures for shepherding your child's heart into the paths of life. child's heart into the paths of life.

Wanganui Allergy Wanganui Allergy and Hyperactivity and Hyperactivity

Awareness Awareness Association (Inc.)Association (Inc.)

Sharon (06) 345-Sharon (06) 345-83938393

Children from Children from five to twelve years old five to twelve years old

are supposed to be are supposed to be hyperactive. They are hyperactive. They are intended to be nearly intended to be nearly

nonstop motion nonstop motion machines.machines.

Pete Egoscue with Roger Gittiness in Pete Egoscue with Roger Gittiness in Pain Free forPain Free for WomenWomen-the -the Revolutionary Program for ending Chronic pain. Authors of Revolutionary Program for ending Chronic pain. Authors of Pain FreePain Free and and Pain Free at your PVPain Free at your PV

Children in motion Children in motion also experience an also experience an

interplay between activities interplay between activities that require finer eye-hand that require finer eye-hand

co-ordination and those co-ordination and those that call for gross that call for gross locomotor skills.locomotor skills.

Pete Egoscue with Roger Gittiness in Pete Egoscue with Roger Gittiness in Pain Free forPain Free for WomenWomen-the -the Revolutionary Program for ending Chronic pain. Authors of Revolutionary Program for ending Chronic pain. Authors of Pain FreePain Free and and Pain Free at your PVPain Free at your PV

Free PlayFree Play

If the child gets less than If the child gets less than 90 minutes90 minutes a day a day of energetic free play then there’s not of energetic free play then there’s not much chance that his musculoskeletal much chance that his musculoskeletal system will remain functional. With system will remain functional. With 90 90 minutes or more-preferably moreminutes or more-preferably more, and , and with the activity broken into morning, with the activity broken into morning, afternoon, and evening segments-children afternoon, and evening segments-children even those who didn’t get enough even those who didn’t get enough crawling time as infants and toddlers, can crawling time as infants and toddlers, can develop and maintain full musculoskeletal develop and maintain full musculoskeletal system function.system function.

Step by step Step by step and hand over and hand over hand, children hand, children

build build mental capacity mental capacity and competency and competency

as they moveas they movePete Egoscue with Roger Gittiness in Pete Egoscue with Roger Gittiness in Pain Free forPain Free for WomenWomen-the -the Revolutionary Program for ending Chronic pain. Authors of Revolutionary Program for ending Chronic pain. Authors of Pain FreePain Free and and Pain Free at your PVPain Free at your PV

““If you’re feeling If you’re feeling stressed, stressed,

you’re doing too much. you’re doing too much. Cut back. Cut back.

Lighten up. Lighten up. Time is on your side.”Time is on your side.”

Homeschooling author Micki Colfax Homeschooling author Micki Colfax (Homeschooling for Excellence)(Homeschooling for Excellence)

Dr Moore, author of Home School Dr Moore, author of Home School Burnout, believes:Burnout, believes:

The Most frequent causeThe Most frequent cause(of Burnout) (of Burnout)

is the use of conventional is the use of conventional “packaged” curricula, keeping the “packaged” curricula, keeping the

mother and childrenmother and children tied to books for hours a day” tied to books for hours a day”

Re-creating Re-creating school at home school at home

is a mistake is a mistake many homeschoolers make. many homeschoolers make. When dealing with younger When dealing with younger

children,children, this can spell disaster.this can spell disaster.

Isabel Shaw in Avoiding Homeschool Burnout- familyeducation.comIsabel Shaw in Avoiding Homeschool Burnout- familyeducation.com

Tell me why Tell me why I don’t like this I don’t like this

next slidenext slide

Finally, Finally, we have to realise we have to realise

our limitations. our limitations. In homeschooling, In homeschooling,

we have committed to we have committed to two full-time jobs: two full-time jobs:

teaching and teaching and homemakinghomemaking

Christine Miller (Classical Christian Homeschooling) in her article on “Beating Christine Miller (Classical Christian Homeschooling) in her article on “Beating Homeschool Burnout.”Homeschool Burnout.”

Dr Raymond Moore Dr Raymond Moore suggests three categories suggests three categories

to focus on:to focus on:

1.1. WorkWork

2.2. ServiceService

3.3. AcademicsAcademics

HandoutsHandouts

• Family Integrity CDFamily Integrity CD

• Family Integrity PamphletFamily Integrity Pamphlet

Training our Training our ChildrenChildren

By Craig and Barbara SmithBy Craig and Barbara Smith

                          

     

Home Education Home Education FoundationFoundation

www.hef.org.nzwww.hef.org.nzWorkshop PowerPoint PresentationsWorkshop PowerPoint Presentations

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