WORK LIFE HARMONY

Debra S. Williams MD FACEP

HARMONY

Ability to juggle precious priorities in your life

To be more empowered and less at the mercy of circumstances

Chasing your life’s dreams, not just reacting to life

What it’s NOT

Not about making everything evenNot everything has the same importance

everydayNot to be confused with reaching some

ultimate equilibriumNo static point in life, life is inherently

dynamic

IMPORTANCE

World is becoming more volatile, uncertain, challenging and complex

What does harmony look like to youHow do you feel when you are out of alignmentDon’t “ACHIEVE” harmony—at least not for very

long—it’s a matter of are you moving toward it or away from it

Problems arise in that one has to find harmony between what people need from you and what you need for yourself.

Thomas Merton

VALUES

When we honor our values and our choices we make in our life, we feel an internal “rightness”. Each value has it’s own special tone. When we live in our values, those various tones create a unique harmony

The compass by which to navigate the course of your life

VALUES

Not morals, no sense of right or wrong behavior. Not about moral character or ethical behavior

Not principles , like self government or standard of behavior

Not money, but may be resource to honor values such as fun, creativity, security, service

Not travel or gardening, but may honor nature, adventure, learning, spirituality

QUALITY OF LIFE LIVED INSIDE OUT

You can’t do what you say, if you don’t know what you believe

Nor can you do what you say if you don’t believe in what you’re saying

VALUES

Know who you are

What you believe

What you will stand for

VALUES EXERCISE

Not a shopping listPick top 10 values that describe your coreAdd your own if not on list

PERSPECTIVES

Limit what is possible by what we believe is true

Opinions, beliefs, assumptions, expectations

WALK IN THE WOODS

WALK IN THE WOODS

CHOICE

Able to respond to our surroundings, rather than simply react, acting from choice rather than conditioning

Empowerment to choose. Choosing a life that is in action, aligned with a compelling vision

RESPONSE-ABLE

Able to respond to our surroundings rather than simply react, acting from choice rather than conditioning

GRATITUDE

a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible. With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives … As a result, gratitude also helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals – whether to other people, nature, or a higher power”

GRATITUDE PRACTICE

3 things you are grateful for and appreciate about life

3 things you take for granted but are actually very thankful for

3 things you appreciate about yourself3 things you are grateful for right now—

experience it

GRATITUDE PRACTICE

Identify 3 people who had significant and positive experience on your life

Identify 1 thing you are most appreciative of and feel it in your heart

GRATITUDE AT WORK

Catch coworkers doing something right

Celebrate small wins

Genuine Thank You

SHOULDS

Write down things you think you “should” be doingRead back through listReflect on answersUnderstand what lies behind “should”Return to listReplace with “choose”

HABITS

Cue—Trigger

Routine—habit itself

Reward—what is achieved by habit

3 D’s of Habit Change

DESCRIBE—Recognize and acknowledge when occurs

DISTRACT—Redirect energy, subconscious to conscious

DELAY—Effective alternative, giving in, repetition

If/Then

When/Then

HABIT CHANGE

Week One—COUNT IT

Notice and count how often you have a habit to not be

grateful and judge something negative

Week Two—COMFIRM IT

Notice, stop and affirm out loud that you notice the bad

habit, follow it with a verbal self correction in front of others

HABIT CHANGE

Week 3—CORRECT ITNotice and correct real time when you notice the desire forthe bad habit and stop yourself with internal affirmation forstopping

Week 4—CULTIVATE IT—Notice and celebrate who you are as you are starting to relax and bring attention toward your gratitude for you and the conditions of your life

COMMITMENT

Lives inside you, not just in your brain, where distraction can easily displace it

Gain mysterious strength and resolve

NO TURNING BACK

ACTION

What will you commit to

What will you say NO to so you can say YES to something that is really important to you

Dream BIG and take small steps to get there

MINDFULNESS

Moment to moment awareness of one’s experience without judgement. Fully aware of thoughts, emotions and actions, but don’t get caught up in them

Helps us realize thoughts are simply thoughts, not reality

SKILLS

FOCUS—Ability to concentrate on what you are doing or what is happening in the moment

AWARENESS—Ability to recognize and release unnecessary distractions as they arise

MINDFULNESS STEPS

MeditateObserve environmentSlow downPay attention to routine tasksAccept your feelings

START YOUR DAY RIGHT

2 minutes before you hop out of bed or 5 minutes in the shower

Let’s cortisol decrease

ARRIVE AT WORK

Take 5-10 minutes before diving into activityDeveloping sharp, clear mindMindfulness in action is great alternative to the

illusory practice of multitaskingFocus on task at hand

WORK DAY IN PROGRESS

More effective meetings

Take a 1 minute finish

Limit speaking to 2 minutes each

COMMUTE HOME

Turn off phone

Shut off radio

Simply BE

Allows you to release stress of day

BENEFITS

Decreased stressDecreased negative affect (depression and

anxiety) Less emotional reactivity, better self regulationCognitive flexibility Focus and awarenessBetter working memoryRelationship satisfaction

COMPASSIONATE COMMUNICATION

People want to be listened to and to be heard

In the briefest period of time, with the greatest accuracy and in a manner that generates mutual respect and trust

WORDS

Language shapes our behavior. Each word is filled with multitudes of personal meaning

Right words spoken in right way can bring respect, success and a good feeling when wrong words, or even right words, expressed the wrong way can cause a war

VERBAL AND NONVERBAL

Tone of voiceSpeed of speakingChosen wordsWhat’s not being saidFacial expressionsBody language

COMMUNICATION

Your body language, eye contact, hand gestures and tone, all color the message you are trying to convey. A relaxed, open stance and a friendly tone will make you appear approachable and will encourage others to speak openly to you

SPEAKING

Speak warmly

Speak slowly

Speak briefly

Listen deeply

LEARNING TO SAY NO

MUST SAY N0

Stressed or overwhelmed

Already doing too much

You’re tired or sick

Really not interested

SAY NO WHEN

It’s someone else’s issueYou feel taken advantage ofSomething you don’t really want to doTakes away from your values

KNOW YOUR PRIORITIES

WHY do you say YES when you would rather say NO

How do you BENEFIT from saying “Yes”

Understanding this is essential to saying “No” and valuing your own goals, needs and time

SAYING NO

Keep response simpleBuy yourself some timeConsider a compromiseSeparate refusal from rejectionDon’t feel guilty for telling children NoBe true to yourself

ENERGY COMPONENTS

Physical

Emotional

Mental

Spiritual

ENERGY MANAGEMENT

Know what drains you, what sustains you

Pay attention to your body’s natural rhythm

Identify peak energy

ENERGY ZAPPER

PARETO PRINCIPLE

20% of actions

Result in 80% of results

Put effort where it will make the most difference

BUSY VS PRODUCTIVE

BUSY PRODUCTIVE

Numerous priorities 1-2 priorities Respond with YES very fast Thinks twice Keeps all doors open Keeps doors closed Keeps talking about being busy Let’s results speak Multitasker Concentrate priority

IMPORTANT VS. URGENT

IMPORTANT—Activities that have an outcome that leads us to achieving our goals, whether professional or personal

URGENT—Activity demands immediate attention, usually associated with achieving someone else’s goals

STEPS TO INCREASED HARMONY

Let go of perfectionismList what’s important and prioritizeLearn to say NOMindfulnessGratitudeWho you surround yourself withUnplugSelf care—diet, exercise, sleep

SUMMARY

Wheel of LifeValuesChoice and PerspectiveGratitudeHabits and ShouldsMindfulnessEnergy Management and Saying NO

STEPS TO INCREASED HARMONY

Let go of perfectionismList what’s important and prioritizeLearn to say NOMindfulnessGratitudeWho you surround yourself withUnplugSelf care—diet, exercise, sleep

COMMITMENTS

I choose to live by choice, NOT BY CHANCETo make changes, NOT EXCUSESTo be motivated, NOT MANIPULATEDTo be useful, NOT USEDTo excel, NOT COMPETE I choose self esteem, NOT SELF PITY I choose to listen to my inner voice, NOT THE

RANDOM OPINION OF OTHERS I CHOOSE TO BE ME

Miranda Marrott