Why i loved, loathed and learned from facebook
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- Love, Loathe And Learn Why I Loved, Then Loathed And Finally Learned From Facebook a real story
- First I loved Facebook
- I reveled in the attention,
- and was engrossed in the gossips.
- I used to enjoy seeing what others did or posting what I did,
- You may call it stalking
- or may be the love of self.
- Yes, I loved my BIG ego.
- I could say many things that I couldnt say on their face and yet go scot free
- I was connected without really needing to meet or waste time.
- I loved those surreal experiences and
- was thrilled with my second world
- I admired my own posts to no end,
- and cherished the persona that I created for myself
- Subtly but surely, Facebook became THE only reality.
- I was addicted, and I would not admit.
- My Facebook image larger than the real me and those shoes hard to fill
- In real world and when I met real people, a false sense of familiarity overpowered the distance
- Now, I started loathing myself
- I saw that peoples opinions about me was not about me
- I imagined that they saw me as a time waster
- Even though I compromised 4+ hours of sleep each day
- They saw me as jobless jack, or so I assumed.
- They were probably calling me an egotist,
- And I was getting increasingly uncomfortable with such notions
- I was getting distant with myself, unable to accept that reality
- Many a time, I saw them as intruding into my private life
- At other times, I suspected that they were nonchalant
- I felt terrible when people did not like my banal posts
- I felt let down just because 299 friends wished on birthday. (I have all of 943 friends)
- I started disliking their views and vice versa
- I started reading too much into what they were posting
- I made foes out of friends more because
- I suspected that they knew me more than they should about me.
- I started getting confused with my innate introversion and supposed exuberant extroversion.
- There were conflicts with me and me
- My many roles merged into one completely and a confused personality for all to see
- I experienced incompleteness as everybody seemed to be doing awesome while my life seemed awful
- Dreadful, hideous, repulsive, vile and upsetting to say the least
- When I have nothing to write that day, I felt melancholic
- No like in 4 hours was a misery, just as the wait for the next like or next comment was excruciating
- Sleepless nights and sleeping pills wouldn't work
- I snapped, slapped myself awake
- And took a short Facebook Sabbath. I deactivated Facebook
- And deleted the app from my phone and the iPad.
- I started running sea ward and ran long distances, alone
- Meditated by the beach, Rollerbladed on sidewalks
- Prayed and started to discover the new me
- That was in sync with me
- And hence learned a few lessons
- Facebook in itself was not bad. It was my own addiction
- It was not how others saw me. It was how I thought they saw me.
- They did not ignore me. They had placed importance to themselves.
- Not that they didnt like me, they just took care of themselves.
- The real world, real people were intact with their pristine goodness.
- There still existed real meetings, real friends.
- Online did not erase off-line identity. They coexisted.
- There was a lot to learn and a lot more to unlearn.
- So this is what I did
- I slashed my friends list. All those not regularly adding value or making make me laugh had to go - unfollow or hidden.
- I set a max limits on people. Less people, less content, less gossip, more time
- I found a good reader app I use Flipboard to consolidate news and browse once a day for just 20 min.
- I time boxed my online presence. I check Facebook only during breakfast, taxis or if I am waiting for some one.
- I minimized the number devices Now my devices now serve specific functions
- I deleted my phone app Just the way we remove junk food from the fridge to stick to a diet.
- I turned to reliable content sources I followed useful content from professionals only on twitter, LinkedIn and tech blogs.
- I use apps like Klout and Buffer to schedule sharing and wolfram alpha , retweet lab tell me on the good times to post.
- The results are telling
- Ive found myself refreshed, focused, and energetic.
- I re-discovered the beauty of the world beyond inbox, newsfeeds and comments.
- I was easy to love and loathe, it was arduous to step back, breathe in and to look at one self in the mirror.
- And the journey continues #LifeIsOn #FullVolume
- Love, Loathe And Learn Why I Loved, Then Loathed And Finally Learned From Facebook
- By a President aspirant, amateur author, doting dad, experimental entrepreneur, passionate photographer, social media evangelist, tireless traveler, happenstance humanoid - Rajesh Soundararajan | @rajeshsound