Wright School The North Carolina ReEducation Treatment Program since 1963

NC Division of State Operated Healthcare Facilities

Parent’s Manual

Welcome to Wright School! And welcome to membership in your child’s Treatment Team. Wright School is a Re-ED program and is different from many other mental health programs. In Re-ED programs, all the significant adults in the child’s life come together to form a treatment team and work together to meet the child’s special needs and help him/her to be more successful. We have learned that full collaborative participation in the Re-ED process by a child’s parent is the single most important factor in each child’s increased success. Parent participation is more important than the severity of the child’s special needs, more important than the school the child attends, more important than anything else! Parent participation can mean many different things:

Participating in loving and fun activities with your child Committing to commit resources, time and energy to your child’s

treatment Trying new parenting strategies Letting go of parenting strategies that don’t work anymore Speaking up for the services your child and family need Reminding professionals of your hopes and dreams for your child and

family So welcome to the treatment process. You will have to work hard because being a member of a Wright School treatment team is hard work. You may get mad, sad or frustrated sometimes. Wright School staff may get mad, sad or frustrated, too. What makes treatment effective is the willingness of the team, all of us, to continue to participate fully and collaboratively in the process. If you are ever too mad or too frustrated to participate fully, call me. I am always available to talk with parents because I know you’re the most important members of the team. Sincerely,

Pete Rich Director

INFORMATION FOR PARENTS

Communication

Wright School Switchboard

The Wright School switchboard is open from Monday at 8:00 a.m. until Friday at 4:00 p.m. If you have a mental health emergency over the weekend, call the emergency number for your local mental health provider or go to your local emergency room.

Reporting Absences and Tardiness

School attendance is an important legal responsibility. Wright School is required to provide 26.5 hours of academic instruction each week. Children should arrive on Monday mornings as close to 8:30 a.m. as geographically practical, unless medical or mental health appointments are scheduled in the community. Children may not be picked up before noon on Fridays unless therapy or doctor’s appointments are scheduled in the community. Your Liaison Teacher/Counselor is not authorized to waive attendance requirements. If your child is sick or circumstances cause you to be late, please call the school. Wright School is an expensive publicly funded program and we are required to keep our beds full and report our daily census to the Division of State Operated Healthcare Facilities. In addition, your local educational agency may require attendance records at the time of graduation from Wright School to document attendance for promotion. If your family plans a vacation during the summer months when your local schools are closed, the Wright School Director can approve up to five days of vacation absences.

Mail, Visits and Phone Contacts during the Week

Phone calls, email, mail and visits with your child will be limited to the people on the list that you authorize at the time of admission. The suggested guidelines below are all negotiable based on family work schedules and your distance from Wright School. Family and friends are encouraged to write and send cards or letters. Email can be arranged through your LTC. Visits are permitted at any time, though advance notice is requested to assure that your child’s group is on campus and that important treatment activities are not interrupted. Visits during the school day should be arranged through your LTC. Phone calls are best made in the evening. Your Liaison Teacher/Counselor will help you figure out the best times to call based on the unit’s schedule and your family routine.

Weekend Diaries

Collaboration by sharing strategies, struggles and successes as they occur at Wright School and at home is the most important treatment component and greatest predictor of long term success. Weekend Diaries are one of the tools we use to record and share information and ideas when face to face contact is not possible. Diaries that describe your child’s week at Wright School are sent home each Friday. In a similar manner, diaries that describe the weekend are returned with your child on Monday mornings. Because the child carries the Weekend Diaries back and forth, they also demonstrate to your child that parents and Teacher/Counselors are on the same team and are in regular communication. Understanding how adults can help your child build his/her capacity to be successful at home, at public school and in your community is our number one goal. Your child and his/her Teacher/Counselors spend time during the week finding and practicing strategies that help meet behavior and academic special needs. If your child is improving at Wright School, it often helps to attempt to modify the Wright School strategies for home use. The Weekend Diary is one of the ways we can communicate back and forth about things that are working. Diaries may be shared with other members of the treatment team in your own community (i.e., therapist, social worker, and counselor). Here at Wright School, children sometimes get special privileges, for having good weekends and remembering to bring papers back and forth between home and school. Please make sure that Diaries are completed by the adults supervising your child during the weekend and are returned on Mondays.

Problem Solving/Grievance Procedures

If disagreements about the course of your child’s treatment arise and cannot be resolved in conversations with your Teacher Counselors, the unit’s Clinical Coordinator is available to you, as is the program’s Director. A written grievance policy is available if your concerns cannot be addressed by program staff.

Responsibility for Personal Belongings and Money

School Supplies

Your Liaison Teacher/Counselor may provide a list of recommended school supplies. If you have difficulty providing school supplies for any reason, let your Liaison Teacher/ Counselor know and we can make alternate arrangements.

Clothing

Your Liaison Teacher/Counselor will provide a list of recommended clothing that we have found to be the right amount of clothing to get through the week without too much laundry. Check with your Liaison Teacher/Counselor if you have difficulty with anything on the clothing/grooming list. Also, please mark each item of clothing, it will minimize the possibility of its getting lost or taken home by another child in error.

Toys and Personal Possessions

Increasing capacity to have successful peer relationships and social skills is an important treatment goal for many Wright School children. Teacher/Counselors assure that the unit has age appropriate individual and group materials and supplies for a variety of games and activities. Units often limit, to one or two, the number of toys children bring from home. We suggest that no expensive items be brought to the school.

Spending Money”

Children are asked to bring three dollars ($3.00) that we call “allowance”, in cash, each week for a “Community Exploration”. This is the only money the child needs and should be allowed to bring to Wright School. This money is also used to reinforce math concepts, saving versus spending preferences, and a variety of daily living lessons. Upon occasion groups will choose to raise money for a big activity, like the State Fair, a beach trip or the circus. In addition to car washes and bake sales, they may ask for money from families. This does not usually occur more than once in a six- month period. Remaining allowance money will be returned to family on graduation day.

Transportation Mental Health treatment is a choice and when choosing Wright School, arranging for transportation to and from Wright School is the responsibility of the parent or guardian. When transportation is a large problem, your Liaison Teacher/Counselor can offer suggestions by describing how other parents and communities have shared this responsibility in creative and successful collaborations. Wright School opens for children on Monday mornings as close to 8:30 a.m. Parents should have their child here by 10 a.m., unless appointments are scheduled in the community. Please notify your child’s Liaison Teacher Counselor should your child be later than 10 am. When you arrive you will sign in your child and your child’s teacher-counselor will come to the lobby to greet you. Children should be picked up between 12:00-2:00 pm on Fridays. We ask parents and their guests to wait in the lobby, rather than going to the unit to greet the child, to reduce distractions to the group and its work

Safety Consequences

Corporal punishment, (spanking/paddling) in any form, is prohibited. Teacher/Counselors use set expectations, schedules, a points and levels system and sometimes logical or natural consequences to shape student behavior.

Physical Restraint/Time Out Room

The staff is trained and certified in the use of North Carolina Techniques to protect the child and those around him/her if behaviors are aggressive and threaten the well being of others. A time out Room is available in each unit. Procedures for using the time out room are written and available for review.

THE FAMILY EDUCATIONAL RIGHTS AND PRIVACY ACT OF 1974

(FERPA)

FERPA sets out requirements designed to protect the privacy of parents and students. In brief, the law requires a school district to: 1. Provide a parent* access to their child's educational records. 2. Provide a parent* an opportunity to seek correction of records he/she believes to be

inaccurate or misleading. 3. With some exceptions, obtain the written permission of a parent* before disclosing

information contained in the student's educational record. * The "definition of a parent" as found in the FERPA: "Parent" includes a parent, a guardian, or an individual acting as a parent of a student in the absence of a parent or guardian. An educational agency or institution may presume the parent has the authority to exercise the rights inherent in the Act unless the agency or institution has been provided with evidence that there is a State law or court order governing such matters as divorce, separation or custody, or a legally binding instrument which provides the contrary. This means that, in the case of divorce or separation, a school district must provide access to both natural parents, custodial and noncustodial, unless there is a legally binding document that specifically removes that parent's FERPA rights. In this context, a legally binding document is a court order or other legal paper that prohibits access to educational records, or removes the parent's right to have knowledge about his/her child's education. Custody or other residential arrangements for a child do not, by themselves, affect the FERPA rights of the child's parents. One can best understand the FERPA position of parent's rights by separating the concept of custody from the concept of rights that the FERPA gives parents. Custody, is a legal concept, establishes where a child will live, and often, the duties of the person(s) with whom the child lives. FERPA on the other hand, simply establishes the parent's right of access to his/her child's education records. Noncustodial parent(s), with proof they are the natural parent(s), may inspect and review the education records of their child unless the school has been provided with evidence that there is a legally binding instrument, or state law, or court order which provides to the contrary. The request must be in writing and the school personnel will notify the custodial parent(s). Revised6/2010/sg

ADDITIONAL SOURCES OF INFORMATION, ADVOCACY AND SUPPORT If you are interested in additional information on your child’s program, or on topics related to raising a child with a disability; or you want to learn more about programs that can help, you may contact the following:

Mental Health

Mental Health Association in North Carolina (919) 981-0740

Legal Services Durham Human Relations Commissions (919) 560-4107 Lawyer Referral Service 1-800-662-7600 Legal Services (919) 688-6396 Louis Myer (Pro Bono work) Poyner & Spruill, Raleigh ‘ (919) 783-6400 SE Pam DiStefano, Durham (speaks Spanish) (919) 490-8899 Rehabilitation Act: Office of Federal Contract Compliance Programs (OFCCP) Raleigh (919) 856-4058 Americans with Disabilities Education Act Office: Justice Department Office on the ADA Civil Rights Division P.O. Box 661 18 Washington, D.C. 20035-6118 1-800-514-0301 Independent Evaluators Duke University Medical Center Department of Psychiatry Centralized Evaluation Services Durham, NC 27710 (919) 684-5484 < Human Resource Consultants, P.A. 104 South Estes Drive Chapel Hill, NC 27514 1-800-640-0735

Main Street Clinical Associates 2020 West Main Street Durham, NC 27705 (919)286-3453 Pediatric Psychology Suite4 110 Conner Drive Chapel Hill, NC 27514 (919)942-4166

http://www.fsnnc.org - Family Support Network of North Carolina promotes and provides support for families with children who have special needs

http://www.dpi.state.nc.us/parents/ - This Parent, Family, and Community Involvement Information web-page represents one of the many state-wide initiatives to educate, inform, and advocate for strengthening the role of parents, families, and communities as involved, enabled, and empowered leaders, decision-makers, teachers, volunteers, and experts about their children and the needs of the communities. If we are to leave no child behind, we must bring every parent, family and community along.

http://www.cfsa-nc.org/ Children and Family Service Association-North Carolina (CFSA-NC) is a statewide association of agencies providing a comprehensive continuum of care and treatment to children and their families.

Incorporated as a not-for-profit organization in 1976, CFSA-NC represents member agencies in North Carolina by encouraging best practice quality programs for children and families and advocating for the services children and families need.

http://www.cdl.unc.edu/ Clinical Center for the Study of Development and Learning at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Much of the work focusing on people with developmental disabilities is aimed at societal change-removing barriers, promoting inclusion, and defining least restrictive environments. The Clinical Center for the Study of Development and Learning at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill adds to this current model an innovative, research-based perspective: a focus on how people with developmental disabilities learn, and how they can learn better. The CDL provides clinical services, training and technical assistance, research, and educational programs for professionals.

http://www.disabilityrightsnc.org/ Disability Rights Disability Rights North Carolina (DRNC) is an independent, private not for profit organization. Designated by the Governor on July 1, 2007 to ensure the rights of all state citizens with disabilities through individual advocacy and system change, DRNC (formerly Carolina Legal Assistance) is part of a national system of federally mandated independent disability agencies. While we receive federal money, DRNC is completely independent of state government. We are also independent from the disability service system in order to be free of any conflicts of interests, which would undermine our capacity to advocate vigorously on behalf of the human and legal rights of people with disabilities.

Special Education Resources

These organizations may be able to provide you with additional information about your child ‘s disability, how that disability may affect your child’s education, and on the rights you and your child have in special education. Some of the organizations may be able to provide advocacy or legal representation.

Advocates for Children’s Services Legal Aid of NC Advocates for Children’s Services (ACS) provides free legal services to low-income families. ACS represents special education students who are involved in the foster care system. Online: www.legalaidnc.org/acs Phone: (919) 226-0052 Office: 201 West Main Street, Suite 400 Durham, NC 27701

The Arc of North Carolina The Arc of North Carolina provides advocacy, information and referral, support and services to people with developmental and cognitive disabilities. The Arc of NC and many of its affiliated chapters in the state provide information and advocacy related to educational issues, including IEPs. To find a local chapter, call our 800 number or visit our website. Online: www.arcnc.org Phone: (800) 662-8706 (919) 782-4632 Office: 343 East Six Forks Road, Suite 320 Raleigh, NC 27609

Autism Society of North Carolina The mission of the Autism Society of NC is to provide support and promote opportunities which enhance the lives of individuals within the autism spectrum and their families. Parent Advocates across the state carry out this mission by offering expertise in a variety of areas, including: • Information and Referral — to help individuals and families network with other families, individuals and providers; connecting families with a local support group • Mental Health Services — guiding families on how to access the system • School Issues — IEPs, how to collaborate with school personnel, etc. • Transition Planning — what issues to consider as a child with autism nears adulthood • Residential and Vocational Support — options and how to access available services • Crisis Services — where to turn when help is needed

• Workshops — providing trainings and presentations to various groups Online: www.autismsociety-nc.org Phone: (800) 442-2762 (NC only) (919) 743-0204 Office: 505 Oberlin Road, Suite 230 Raleigh, NC 27605

BEGINNINGS For Parents of Children Who are Deaf or Hard of Hearing, Inc. BEGINNINGS provides emotional support, unbiased information, and technical assistance to parents of children who are deaf and hard of hearing, deaf parents with hearing children, and professionals serving those families. BEGINNINGS assists parents of children from birth through age 21 by providing information and support that will empower them as informed decision makers, helping them access the services they need for their child, and promoting the importance of early intervention and other educational programs. Online: www.beginningssvcs.com Voice/TTY: (800) 541-4327 (NC only) (919) 850-2746 Office: 3714 Benson Drive, Suite A Raleigh, NC 27609

Brain Injury Association of North Carolina The Brain Injury Association of North Carolina provides information and referral specifically related to Traumatic Brain Injury and Acquired Brain Injury. The Association may be able to provide advocacy services at your child’s IEP meeting. Online: www.bianc.net Phone: (800) 377-1464 Main Office: 213 Cameron Street, Suite 242 Raleigh, NC

Council for Children’s Rights

The Council for Children’s Rights provides advocacy and legal representation in special education and school discipline cases in Mecklenburg County. Online: www.cfcrights.org Phone: (704) 372-7961 Office: 601 East Fifth Street, Suite 510 Charlotte, NC 28202

Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD) CHADD and the National Resource Center on ADHD offer free information on ADHD and special education, in both English and in Spanish. Information specialists are available to respond to individual questions. Please contact the national office to find your local chapter of CHADD. Online: www.chadd.org Phone: (800) 233-4050 National Resource Center: www.help4adhd.org

Children’s Law Clinic Duke University School of Law

The Children’s Law Clinic represents low-income parents and children in special education and school discip line matters from the following counties: Alamance, Caswell, Chatham, Durham, Franklin, Granville, Orange, Person, Vance, Wake, and Warren. Online: www. Law, duke. edu/childedlaw Phone: (919) 613-7169 Office: the corner of Science Drive and Towerview Road

Durham, NC 27708

Exceptional Children’s Assistance Center

The Exceptional Children’s Assistance Center, ECAC, is a private non-profit organization committed to improving the lives and education of ALL children and is home to the North Carolina Parent Training and Information Center (PTI). ECAC provides a variety of services to families with children who have disabilities or special • needs, their educators, and other professionals. Services include individual assistance with educational issues or concerns, a toll-free Parent Info Line, workshops and training opportunities, IEP Partners, Lending Libraries, Information Packets, and newsletters. All services are provided at no cost to North Carolina parents and families! Online: www.ecac-parentcenter.org Parent Info Line: (800) 962-6817 Main office: 907 Barra Row, Suites 102/103

Davidson, NC 28036

Exceptional Children Division, Department of Public Instruction The mission of the Exceptional Children Division is to assure that students with disabilities develop mentally, physically, emotionally, and vocationally through the provision of an appropriate individualized education in the least restrictive environment. The Division provides information about special education to parents in order to achieve this goal. Online: www.ncpublicschools.org/ec Office: 301 North Wilmington Street

Raleigh, NC 27601

F.I.R.S.T. F.LR.S.T. is a resource center for families in Western NC whose children have or are at risk of having disabilities. F.LR.S.T. gives support to families, one-to-one help during times of crisis, or specific information dealing with school issues and access to community services through state and government agencies. Staff who are bilingual in Spanish are available for all projects. The projects include: • Community Parent Resource Center Offers free parent training related to educational issues, rights under IDEA and Section 504, and advocacy training for parents to become better advocates for their children with disabilities. Contact: Janet Price-Ferrell. • The SUNSHINE Project — Provides training about services to childcare providers on child-specific needs and classroom strategies, specific diagnoses and disabilities issues, and consultation on the individual child’s needs for successful classroom inclusion. Contact: Janet Price-Ferrell or Brooks Davis. Online: www.firstwnc.org Phone: (828) 277-1315 Mail: P.O. Box 802

Asheville, NC 28802

First in Families of North Carolina First in Families of NC does “whatever it takes” to support individuals to achieve independence and become more connected to their community. First in Families chapter teams are committed to providing flexible resources for people with developmental disabilities and their families, typically meeting needs not filled by traditional funding and support services. Currently 38 counties are covered under FIFNC chapters. For a list of those counties, please visit our website. FIFNC also offers assistance with lifetime planning through Lifetime Connections, available to families throughout NC. Online: www.fifnc.org Phone: (866) 740-4135 Mail: P.O. Box 1665

Durham, NC 27702 HOPE Parent Family Resource Center The Center serves families in Alexander, Burke, Catawba, Caldwell and McDowell counties. The Center provides training and information to assist parents in understanding procedural safeguards, their children’s disabilities and educational needs, and promoting parents’ abilities to communicate effectively with personnel responsible le for providing early intervention, special education, and related services. The Center also focuses on increasing parent decision-making and involvement in the development and implementation of their children’s IFSPs or TEPs,

along with the use of a broad range of community resources. Phone: (828) 438-6540 Office: Family Support Network/HOPE

300 Enola Road Morganton, NC 28655

IEP Partners Children’s Law Clinic, Duke Law

IEP Partners provides trained Partners to support parents at any stage in the IEP process. We can help you prepare for IEP meetings, discuss options for your child, research issues, and attend meetings if desired. Email: IEP-Partners(law.duke.edu Office: IEP Partners, Duke Law School

Towerview Road and Science Drive Box 90360 Durham, NC 27708

National Alliance on Mental Illness North Carolina (NAMI NC) NAMI NC offers a variety of services to children and adults with mental illness. • Call the Helpline for information about mental illness, referral to resources, or to locate one of the support groups in several locations around the state. • Young Families offers workshops to parents, teachers, and professionals. Some program advocates offer support groups in different locations around the state. • NAMI Basics is a free education program for parents and caregivers of children with mental illness. The program can teach you to be an effective caregiver, to cope with the traumatic impact of mental illness, and to be the best possible advocate and caregiver for your family and yourself. Online: www.naminc.org Helpline: (800) 451-9682 (NC only) Phone: (919) 788-0801

Office: 309 West Millbrook Road, Suite 121

Raleigh, NC 27609

North Carolina Assistive Technology Project The NC Assistive Technology Project can provide free demonstrations of Assistive Technology devices to parents and children with disabilities. The Project can also provide free two-week loans of these devices. Please go to the website to find your local project center. Online: www.ncatp.org Phone: (919) 850-2787 (voice/TTY) Main Office: 1110 Navaho Drive, Suite 101

Raleigh, NC 27609

North Carolina Division of Vocational Rehabilitation The NC Division of Vocational Rehabilitation has partnered with local schools all across the state to assist students in making a successful transition from their school life to jobs and careers. The program is designed to assist individuals with disabilities (physical, mental, or learning related) who require assistance to prepare for, locate, or maintain employment compatible with their interests, skills and potential. For eligible students, Vocational Rehabilitation may be able to provide vocational guidance and assist with training, job placement and other services. Online: http://dvr.dhhs.state.nc.us Phone: (919) 855-3500 (919) 855-3579 (TDD) Office: 805 Ruggles Drive

Raleigh, NC Mail: 2801 Mail Service Center Raleigh, NC 27699-2801

North Carolina Early Intervention Services The Infant-Toddler Program in the Early Intervention Branch of the Divisbn of Public Health provides early intervention services for families and their children with special needs, ages birth to three years old. Early intervention services help nurture the growth and development of young children and provide support to their families.

Online: www.ncei.org Phone: (919) 707-5520

North Carolina Families United

Families United is the North Carolina chapter of the National Federation of Families for Children’s Mental Health. Families United believes that children and youth with serious emotional, behavioral and mental health challenges, and their families, should have a person-centered, family-driven System of Care to ensure their independence, safety, happiness and success in their homes, schools and communities. It links families to state and community partners in order to improve the lives of these children and their families. Online: www.ncfamiliesunited.org Phone: (336) 217-9712 Office: Center for Youth, Family, and Community Partnerships

University of North Carolina at Greensboro Foundation Place 330 South Greene Street, Suite 200 Greensboro, NC 27401

NC Office on Disability and Health

The NC Office on Disability and Health (NCODH) works to promote the health and weilness of persons with disabilities in North Carolina. The goals of the NCODH are to increase awareness and understanding of the health-related needs of individuals with disabilities; to improve access and inclusion; to develop health promotion programs and educational materials for consumers and professionals; and to affect disability policy related to these areas. The NCODH is a collaborative endeavor between the Women and Children’s Section, Division of Public Health of the Department of Health and Human Services, and the Frank Porter Graham Child Development Institute at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. NCODH has produced a number of publications that are available free of charge to NC residents. These publications and other materials can be viewed and ordered on our website. Online: www. fpg.unc. edukncodh Mail: Campus Box 8185

The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill Chapel Hill, NC 27599-8185 Phone: (919) 966-0856

TEACCH UNC School of Medicine TEACCH is a statewide program for the treatment and education of individuals of all ages with autism and related communication disabilities. Its mission is to provide lifelong assistance to people with autism and their families by providing direct clinical services including diagnostic evaluations, treatment planning and implementation, early childhood intervention services, and supported employment assistance. In addition to direct services, TEACCH provides consultation services and conducts training programs for families and professionals, provides educational opportunities for undergraduate and graduate students, and participates in a variety of autism research projects. TEACCH has nine regional outpatient clinics located in Asheville, Chapel Hill, Charlotte, Fayetteville, Gastonia, Greensboro, Greenville, Raleigh and Wilmington. It also operates the Carolina Living and Learning Center, a residential/vocational training farmstead facility for adults, outside of Pittsboro. Online: www.teacch.com Main office: 100 Renee Lynne Court

Carrboro,NC 27510 Phone: (919) 966-5156

Wrightslaw Parents of children with disabilities run into obstacles when they advocate for their children. Two obstacles are isolation and lack of information. We are working to remove these obstacles. At Wrightslaw, you will find links to hundreds of special education law and advocacy articles, newsletters, cases, and practical guidance. Wrightslaw is the most comprehensive special education advocacy site on the internet. Online: www.wrightslaw.com

Foundations for Success

Many of our student’s parents come to Wright School frustrated with themselves and their children. Some parents feel guilty because they have tried everything that they know but have not been able to help their children be successful. They may even feel as if they are not good parents. It is our experience that this is not the case. Most parents have the parenting skills necessary for raising typically developing children, but they encounter difficulty because their children have special needs. At Wright School we have found that for children to grow and mature the following are some ways that your LTC will help you to begin to lay the foundation for your family’s success:

Predictability Consistency Feedback Safety

Just as you would need to build a wheelchair ramp in your home for a child who is in a wheelchair, predictability, consistency, feedback and safety are foundations on which we build structure that will support your child’s special needs. The following are some ways that you can begin to lay the foundations for your child’s success.

1. Predictability

For children with special needs, routines are important. Routines create a sense of order that can be comforting and decrease anxiety about upcoming events. Routines can also be useful behavior management tools.

How can you create routines in the home?

Creating and posting a schedule of day to day activities helps your child know what is happening, and when.

Grandma’s rule (hard stuff comes before fun stuff) when setting up a schedule will make

it easier for you to encourage your child to do his chores, play with younger siblings, take a shower, etc.

Establishing bedtimes will lessen the likelihood of objections, power struggles, etc. Age

appropriate bedtimes allow your child to be well rested and alert during the day.

Scheduling mealtimes reduces debates about snacking and complaints about being hungry.

Giving your child advance warning before it’s time to stop one activity and start another.

“In five minutes it’s going to be time to come in for dinner.”

Talking about the events and activities of the day ahead of time and referring to a posted schedule to help remind you child of an upcoming chore, event or activity.

Reminding your child of things he or she is looking forward to later in that next day or for

the upcoming week should be encouraging.

2. Consistency

It is important for our students to know that the rules and expectations for behavior are consistent. This helps them know the consequences of the choices they make as well as assuring that they will be held accountable for their behaviors. It also prevents children from trying to “play” one adult against the other.

How can you increase consistency in your home?

Have posted rules. Remind you child of those rules simply be referring to them or by praising your child when doing a good job following the rules.

Parents should take time to discuss decisions with each other before responding to a

child’s request or enacting a consequence to a child’s behavior. If your child knows that caretakers are going to discuss decisions they are less likely to try to “play” the adults against each other.

Consistent rules in all settings are important so that your child does not have to adjust to

more than one set of rules. Transitions between caretakers can be difficult. Having consistent rules and routines in all households in which your child spends significant time will decrease (often dramatically) behavioral challenges.

3. Feedback

Children need to receive regular feedback on their behavior through praise, labeling of behaviors, description of choices they can make (or have already made) and possibly through a concrete feedback system.

What can you do in your home to make your feedback more productive?

Praise positive behaviors. We often say “catch a child being good!” Contrary to popular belief, the most effective way to promote positive behaviors is to reward those behaviors when you see them, as opposed to using harsh consequences for negative behavior. You have to address negative behaviors, of course, but the majority of your energy can be more effectively spent in praising the behavior you want to see. This will reduce the stress level in your home and encourage your child to meet expectations.

Praise when expectations are met: “I like the way you finished your chores.” (Be specific)

Make sure your child understands what you are asking him to do. We often assume that children know what we want from them but there are many factors that can prevent children from understanding the message we are trying to give them. The speed of our speech, the size of the words we use, and the tone of voice can get in the way of our children understanding our message.

State positive, simple expectations for behavior and disengage to avoid power struggles. As adults we have learned to exert the self-control to walk away and revisit a situation later and by doing so we can teach our children to do the same.

4. Safety

It is important that children not only feel physically safe but also emotionally safe. It is only when children feel emotionally and physically safe that they can take the risk to the try new “appropriate” behaviors. What can you do in the home to increase your child’s sense of safety?

Children should be supervised all al times.

Leave you child only with people they know and trust. If you do not know how your child feels, ask him. Children rarely lie about whom they feel safe being with.

Have a way that your child can communicate with you that they are not feeling

safe. Sit down with your child and come up with a “secret” word that he can use to let you know that he does not feel safe.

Monitor your children’s exposure to violence. This includes not only real violence

that they may witness but also violent video games and scary movies.

Have good adult/child boundaries. Insulate your child from worries and concerns that are not appropriate for them. Any adult concerns and responsibilities you can shield your child from will give more energy for their own relationships, responsibilities and behavioral self-control.