Wanda McCallum, LPC

Overview (2)Overview (2)

Communicating Like a ProThe Five Exemplary Leadership PracticesConflict Management Skills for WomenBalancing Your Career with Your Personal Life

Workshop Handout and Quick-Reference Guide

Exercise (4)Exercise (4)Watch for:Arms crossed/hands claspedToneEye ContactFacial ExpressionNo Um’s, Uh’s, or Filler words (like, you know, and so…)

Six Secrets to Powerful Six Secrets to Powerful Public Speaking (5)Public Speaking (5)

1. Connect with your audience (ahead of time)2. No one wants you to fail (Leave ego outside) 3. Connect with audience from a space of

‘helping’4. Use silence to strengthen your message5. Humble sharing works best!6. Toastmasters.org

Speech Habits that Can Rob You of Speech Habits that Can Rob You of Your Credibility (6)Your Credibility (6)

DisclaimersExcessive or weak modifiersFillersJustifiers (...let me tell you the reasons why I

want this...)Tag questionsCute wordsTechnical words vs. KISS rule

Masculine vs. Feminine Styles (7)Speaking in meetings with masculine styles:Be briefBullet point thoughtsEnd with a question

Summary (8)Summary (8) Be aware of your tone, body language, eye

contact, and facial expressions Avoid speech habits that rob you of your

credibility Reduce fidgeting Handle interruptions in a feminine style Start, Stop, Continue, Change

The Five Practices of Exemplary The Five Practices of Exemplary Leaders (10) Leaders (10) Kouzes/PosnerKouzes/Posner

Model the Way Inspire a Shared Vision Challenge the Process Enable Others to Act Encourage the Heart

Model the Way (11)Model the Way (11)

What are your guiding principles and values that you use to make decisions?

How do they relate to Mississippi State’s vision, mission, and values?

Do your direct reports know the answers to each of these questions?

Change Relating to Change Relating to Higher Education (12) Higher Education (12)

Michigan Tech Survey Results (Top Five Challenges in Higher Education)1.Meeting increased expectations of Generation “Me”2.Working with parents and their expectations3.Connecting service to learning4.Balancing technology and face-to-face interactions5.Meeting needs with diminished resources

Summary (13)Summary (13)• Identify and communicate (often!) your personal vision and how it

ties into MS State’s vision

• Co-create a ‘team’ vision and repeat it at each meeting

• Find creative ways to ‘model’ your vision

• Constantly look for opportunity to do things better, smarter, faster

• Trust, delegate, and empower those that report to you

• Start, Stop, Continue, Change

Which Form(s) of Contempt Which Form(s) of Contempt Do You Use? (15)Do You Use? (15)

Attacking Sarcasm/Eye Rolling Absolute language (You always… You never…) Shaming Stonewalling (Shutting down/Punishing someone by not

talking to them) Passive-Aggressive – Publicly or privately hurting someone

in an underhanded manner

***The goal is to bring contempt down to a ‘zero’ in all conversations

When You Feel Like Your Going to When You Feel Like Your Going to Explode with Anger, Cry, or Shut Down (16)Explode with Anger, Cry, or Shut Down (16)

Take sips from a glass of waterWalk it offBreathePostpone the conversation and set a time to meetReturn to issue only when you feel more calm

Is it worth your career or your reputation to express that you are ‘right’?

Five Conflict Styles (17)Five Conflict Styles (17)1. Competing “My way or the highway”2. Accommodating “Your way is fine”3. Compromising “Let’s make a deal”4. Collaborating “Two heads are better than one”5. Avoiding “Let’s talk tomorrow”

Summary (18)Summary (18)• Reduce Contempt

• Actively Listen

• Stay Solution-focused

• Control your emotions

• Become proficient in ‘all’ the conflict styles

• Start, Stop, Continue, Change

Priorities (20)Priorities (20)

Name the top five priorities in your life:1.________________________2.________________________3.________________________4.________________________5.________________________

Reframe Your Thinking (21)Reframe Your Thinking (21)

Your thoughts and feelings permeate throughout your work and your home life

You set the ‘thermostat’ for the teamReducing negativity starts with you

Do affirmations work?

What Does Validation Do What Does Validation Do for Us at Work? (22)for Us at Work? (22)

• Employees work harder for the people they like!

• We like them in a direct proportion to how they make us feel! (Irwin Federman)

Summary (23)Summary (23)

• Prioritize what is MOST important in your life

• Reframe your thoughts and feelings

• Validate and appreciate everyone in your life

• And…