Walls Go Up Walls Come Down

8/13/2019 Walls Go Up Walls Come Down

1/18

Walls Go Up, Walls Come Down

Copyright 2014 Skot David Wilson

Published by Skot David Wilson at Smashwords

IS !" #$%1&10$0$#02

'itle" Walls (o )p* Walls Come Down

+uthor" Skot David Wilson

Publisher" Smashwords* In,-

Smashwords .dition /i,ense !otes

'his ebook is li,ensed or your personal en oyment only- 'his ebook may not be re sold or

given away to other people- I you would like to share this book with another person* please

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Smashwords-,om or your avorite retailer and pur,hase your own ,opy- 'hank you or

respe,ting the hard work o this author-

Contents:

Chapter One, An Act of Vengeful Stupidity

Chapter Two, Incarceration and a Golden Key

Chapter Three, Ft !eade and A Secret "ife

Chapter Four, "ittle Cay#an and Operation $%odus

Chapter Fi&e, The 'ay Out


2/18

Chapter One, An Act of Vengeful Stupidity

!y father(s death when I was )*, and #y su+se uent +urying #y pain and anger fro# it

+ehind walls of anger, resent#ent, sadness, and pain turned #e into two people I was

the happy guy who partied and ran around doing good deeds, and the sad, isolated,angry, apathetic and &engeful lost soul that was see-ing in &ain for a #eans to +alance

the scales That started when I was )*, and +y the ti#e I was ./ I was a #aster at hiding

how I really felt e%cept in ro#antic escapes and a few candid #o#ents here and there I

was always the first to offer help and the last to e&er as- for it, so I ne&er did I wound

up twisted, and the tur+ulent stor# within #e #ade #e snap in su+tle ways

I had done so#ething really, really stupid with #y life, and was facing a se&en year#andatory #ini#u# with . two year sentences running wild +efore I would +e free

That #eant ten years, and that I would +e 0in0 prison until I was 1) I could ha&e fought,

+ut they #ade it si#ple when I got arrested and didn(t -now it would +e that long 2oll

o&er on yourself, or 3ules gets sla##ed with charges as well, and she goes to 4ail, too I

#ean, the search was illegal, and I could ha&e won, #ay+e, +ut it would ta-e ti#e,

wasn(t for sure, and +esides, I really had +rought it upon #yself 5esides, they were

tal-ing saying that I was only facing li-e three or four years since I cooperated "i-e

#ost police, lying +astards when it suited the#

I found it funny that al#ost e&eryone in the anti ue show at the #all reported things

stolen I really only hit the +itch 678 of #y efforts were directed at one &endor, a

3ewish wo#an fro# "ong Island who had ripped #e off the last ti#e they were there I

had put 9)7/ // down on an engage#ent ring for 3ules, and ca#e +ac- with the otherhundred, and she was pulling it out of the case until I as-ed her if she needed the receipt

for the 7/8 deposit I had #ade two days +efore 'hen I told her I had washed it in #y

4eans she loo-ed in her receipt +oo- and after #essing with it showed it to #e and was

de+ating #e, saying I had only put down fifteen dollars, so when they ca#e +ac- around

I was going to get her Fuc- the# thie&es


3/18

I had the sa#e -ind of screwing o&er fro# an old fart na#ed Irwin who owned a #arina

in 2ed 5an- I had +een loo-ing for wor- on +oats, and he ga&e #e 4o+s to do around

his house, and I did good wor-, painting, gardening, repairing fence, and the agree#ent

was for ten an hour and the fuc-er paid #e a hundred +uc-s for si%ty hours of wor-, and

if I didn(t li-e it was told to 4ust try to sue hi#, it was his word against #ine

I was tired of +eing fuc-ed o&er, so in one wee- I ro++ed the asshole and too- his gun

collection, and went to the #all in the #iddle of the night, tied up the security guard

with fishing line and electrical tape, and wiped out the cheap 3ew thief I too- the !all

Che&ette security car with orange lights, dropped off #y haul, and went +ahaing in the

pine scru+ #otor cycle trails off 1 +efore ditching the thing

If I hadn(t +een dealing Crystal T for #y friend Glen in "ong 5ranch #ay+e #y

4udg#ent would ha&e +een +etter I was 4ust si#ply depressed #ost of the ti#e and

swallowing anger still o&er #y father(s death, and despite #y happy;go;luc-y attitude

and outward appearance was +etween sad, angry, and apathetic !y rule of thu#+ lately

had +eco#e fuc- #e, I fuc- you +ac- I was still too trusting and didn(t see it co#ing,

and got a shitty &engeful attitude when it did happen again and again

I had cleaned up so#e when the drug supply stopped, and reali


4/18

cashed in the tic-et and hitched 'hen I got +ac- I hoo-ed up with =ud, 5illy "udwig,

#y friend, and got +ac- into dealing weed and wor-ing on +oats The 4o+s earlier

wor-ing for 2ic-el >o#e Centers in the plu#+ing =epart#ent and >ahne(s in

!on#outh !all had gi&en #e so#e -nowledge as to how to wor- for a co#pany li-e

following a schedule, +ut I could #a-e #ore #oney wor-ing on a +oat in a wee- than I

could wor-ing for any co#pany !y pro+le# was that I had +eco#e a +it of a stoner and

was partying too #uch I #et =e++ie and spent the su##er with her, +ut she had a

drin-ing pro+le# and I couldn(t deal with so#eone elses( pro+le#s and #ine, too I

hoo-ed =e++ie up with =ud after I got +ac- fro# ?orth 3ersey with 3ules

=ud and I had gone to ?ew @or-(s Central ar- to see $lton 3ohn at a free concert in

Central ar- I #et her on the way to the par-, when so#ething had told #e to cross the

street and go to a store for +eer, and so#ething I still can(t e%plain drew #e there I

didn(t -now what, +ut I followed #y gut 'hen I got inside and got a +eer and went to

the chec-out she and I turned to #eet each other(s eyes and I thin- that is when we fell

in lo&e It was a true case of lo&e at first sight, and we hoo-ed up and hung out for the

day, her riding #y shoulders as $lton 3ohn sang I#agine dressed in a -ey+oard captains(

hat and outfit, wal-ing and tal-ing, and connecting I followed her +ac- to her ho#e in

o#pton "a-es, and we slept together that night in her roo# in the attic of her ho#e, the

ne%t day ha&ing her +rother, aul, dri&e her and what she pac-ed to #y apart#ent in

$atrontown I tried to get #y shit together, +ut #y +aggage fro# periodically getting

screwed o&er with no 4ustice or co#pensation and +eing in a steady fog of drugs #ade

her the only lucidity in #y life At first things were great, +ecause I had wor- enough to

#a-e it and still was planning to return to college, +ut I had #issed the fall deadline andthen in the spring ter# had ell grant issues where I #issed a filing deadline and

couldn(t go +ac- then, so did #ore and #ore drugs, +eca#e arrogant and closed off fro#

#y issues which I didn(t -now how to address, and succu#+ed to stupidity

I was ripped as shit when I started that night I still re#e#+er #y orange ta++y cat,


5/18

isser, tal-ing to #e telling #e to get e&en with the +itch The anger I had festering deep

within #e #ade #e react in stupidity to e%act 4ustice #yself I was stupid, and in #any

ways alone In hindsight what I needed was to #o&e past an o&er;idealistic e%pectation

of the world and co#e to accept that life is usually not fair I would learn that lesson the

hard way In so#e ways the retri+ution was #orally right, people should +e held

accounta+le for how they screw others o&er, and I ne&er really had done any wrong to

anyone who didn(t do unto #e first, +ut what I did 4ust wasn(t legaB Two wrongs didn(t

#a-e a right, it #ade it worse

Chapter Two, Incarceration and a Golden Key

3ules had gone to 2ed 5an- and when she ca#e ho#e as they were searching the

apart#ent, and they arrested her as well, and then ga&e #e a deal Gi&e the# the guns,

confess, and I would get no #ore than so#ething li-e two years +ut not #uch #ore, and

3ules would go free The only part they -ept was that she went free !e they fuc-ed I

spent ele&en #onths and ele&en days +efore I transferred to state prison with a shitload

of ti#e A recruiter I had +een tal-ing to since high school, who while I was in college

still wanted #e to go wor- for the go&ern#ent, ca#e to &isit #e after I had started a

wor- stoppage on "a+or =ay in 5ordentown, which was a 4it ca#p I had de&eloped a

reputation for citing what was wrong with the syste# and writing elected officials a+out

it I was a real radical 5ecause of the incident at 5ordentown, a laundry wor- stoppage

+ecause e&eryone else was at a "a+or =ay picnic and laundry was +eing forced to wor-

e&en though we were ahead, I was transferred top Trenton State rison and put in *wing, which had +een +uilt at the turn of the century It was cold, dar-, and dingy The

old recruited ca#e to see #e and I was as-ed to ta-e a polygraph test to #easure #y

responses to ethical uestions as part of a supposed college study, and #y cooperation

would +e rewarded with co#p ti#e I 4u#ped at it


6/18

I had +een attac-ed for standing up against two of four guys fro# #y ho#e county who

had pic-ed up a girl hitch;hi-ing and raped her I wouldn(t gang with the# I was lightly

sta++ed on the way to #ess at lunch, and the conflict was e%plained to superiors at

Trenton I was gi&en a pat on the +ac- for not ganging, and they hated a rapist as well

Than- God it was so cold that I was thic-ly layered in sweaters underneath 3ules was

still &isiting #e, and &isiting was held in old death row cells that were li-e ).( +y ).( and

had +een con&erted for contact &isits eople would loo-out while &isiting girls in s-irts

with no +otto#s on would ta-e care of +usiness Co##unication was in letters, and se%

was snuc- in on contact &isits I used to write her al#ost e&ery day

I was transferred to the +rand new section of Trenton State rison, and was gi&en a 4o+

as death row phone runner, e&ery half hour #o&ing a phone fro# one cell to another !y

#o# had sent #e construction paper and I #ade a Christ#as tree and fireplace out of

the paper, which the guards got a -ic- out of !ost of the ti#e I sat in an office listening

to ?ational u+lic 2adio and writing in the afternoons in+etween the schedule of

#o&ing the phone fro# cell to cell

They ca#e and ga&e #e another series of uestions under polygraph 'hat did I thin-

a+out Tho#as 3efferson 'as A#erica 4ustified in fighting co##unis# 'ould I put

#yself in har#(s way to defend A#erican interests or protect a fellow A#erican =id I

li-e the president (?oD0 'ould I defend the president anyway 0@esD0 @ou find a wallet

with #oney in it and an address on identification It had loads of #oney in it, and you

need 9E/ to fi% your car to get to wor- or lose your 4o+ =o you -eep the #oney and

throw away the walletB ta-e the 9E/ you need out and return the walletB do you return the

wallet +ut -eep all the #oneyB do you return the wallet intactB or do you +orrow the

#oney and place an I O with a letter and a pro#ise to pay I said I would put the

I O with the e%planation and an apology, +ut #y pro#ise to pay as soon as I could

There were all sorts of other uestions that see#ed unrelated as well

The ne%t thing I -new I was in a #eeting with #y recruiter, two other suits, and the


7/18

assistant warden who left when the #eeting started I was told that I would +e offered a

position in the Central Security Ser&ice of the ?SA, +ut that it was hard for the# to get

people who were street s#art that didn(t act #ilitary or who weren(t wea- willed and

#ee- I was also told that so#eone with a cri#inal record that had +een esta+lished was

the perfect co&er +ecause it was factual, supported +y news #edia and official records,

ti#e actually spent in 4ail, and couldn(t +e fa-ed They were willing to find #e a

loophole and get #e out if I ca#e and wor-ed for the# ?o one could -now, not #y

fa#ily, friends, anyone I would +e trained, groo#ed, and gi&en 4o+s to fit #y co&er,

depending on what specific depart#ent in the agency I 4oined I would +e paid fairly

well, would +e a+le to ser&e #y nation and put #y past +ehind #e They had wanted #e

really +adly after high school and in #y first year of college, and now they had #e

Chapter Three, Ft !eade and A Secret "ife

A few #onths later, towards the end of ( 1, I had signed #y contract and was finally,

for#ally, in For the ne%t few #onths I trained, and after what was a two #onth +asic

would go on se#inars and to classes, riding the train +etween Trenton and 5'I A#tra-

Airport ter#inal, a ride that too- a+out two hours, then a short shuttle ride into !eade,

then +ac- again at night I wore a full +eard and glasses, and -ept to #yself loo-ing li-e

a co##uter, and getting a taste of the feeling of isolation this new path would wind up

co#pounding personal de#ons they failed to catch I was good enough to fool the#, +ut

e&en +etter than that, +ecause it was all +urred so deep I was fooling #yself as well I

was a functional repressed pain and anger;oholic

I was illegal enough to +e willing to +end the law to ser&e a higher purpose for #y

nation, which was so#ething not that easy to find for the# actually They wanted people

with strong A#erican &alues who cared a+out A#erica, +ut who could turn a +lind eye

to restrictions in law or the Constitution as long as it ser&ed the greater good and


8/18

protected the nation They also needed people who didn(t fit the types they nor#ally had

wor-ing for the# The ?SA was supposed to +e #ainly a CO!I?T, or co##unications

intelligence, and precluded +y #ost statutes fro# > !I?T, or hu#an intelligence

gathering It would +e a non;sanctioned, co&ert, and illegal ar# of the ?SA designed to

+ypass those restrictions It would +e contractual, with a type of ran- in+etween the

ci&ilian and #ilitary ran-s they used I would +e highly co#part#entali


9/18

willing to +end the law to ser&e the nation, and had cri#es that were not +ased in fraud

or indicated a tenancy towards great &iolence Out of the original twenty four were

already gone, and +y the ti#e we were trained at Ca#p eary and Ft !eade there would

only +e nine left

A hearing was held in #y case, and a 0loophole0 found, and I was out three #onths later

I would appear to go +ac- in, +ut would +e transferred to a training facility and returned

to a #ini#u# security facility in South 3ersey while I was +eing trained, and if I washed

out, I would finish a shorter sentence and +e done I would still ha&e a flat se&en year

sentence in case I washed out If I e&er +la++ed I could e%pect to +e ignored or face

possi+le prosecution for so#ething new 'ho would +elie&e #e I was released for a

#onth, told to get #y life in order, and for the ne%t si% #onths would +e trained, then set

up with 4o+s where I would conduct sur&eillance, plant +ugs, reco&er and change out

tape #achines, and while doing this +e further trained for unsanctioned actions and

operations

The thing was that 3ules had waited for #e for .) #onths, and I was in .. 'hen I got

out and #ay+e fro# added pressure fro# her parents who disappro&ed, she saw #e, we

had diner in Keyport at a seafood place, #ade intense lo&e +ac- at the little +oarding

house I was staying in, and she dro&e away and out of #y life I wanted to chase her, +ut

if I +ro-e #y agree#ent I(d +e +ac- in I went along, was trained, then was gi&en 4o+s

and assign#ents, nor#ally collecting and changing co&ert located =AT tapes and

#a-ing dead drops, other ti#es planting +ugs, or following people, or watching

locations and reporting all acti&ity there li-e I was on a sta-eout It was tiring and dull

#ost of the ti#e I guess owning so#eone li-e they owned #e was +etter than trying to

contract so#eone or use an asset with different s-ill sets, +ut I didn(t see it yet

I had to +rea- into the ho#e of an Italian +usiness#an, plant four listening de&ices, and

get out If I was +usted, I could go off to 4ail +ut if chec-ed I would +e a -nown

cri#inal, and not if further in&estigated found to +e a college student fro# 'illia# H


10/18

!ary or Te#ple A +otched incursion would not raise any suspicion on targets the ?SA

wished or needed to do sur&eillance on At eary we were called the n ?ine ins +y

those training us The weapons and super spy stuff wasn(t what we were really trained in,

instead we were trained how to +rea- into places, re#ain hidden, disappear uic-ly, tal-

out way out of situations, +ypass security syste#s and what #ainly So&iet e uip#ent to

loo- out for loo-ed li-e, and how to use gestures and other signals top co##unicate

The +usiness#an was actually arranging the theft of design specifications on

e%peri#ental 4ets +eing designed to present to the ?a&y

!y first 4o+ was actually in Trenton, and I dro&e a laundry truc- and #ade pic-ups and

deli&eries of 0laundry +ags0 as instructed +y #a-ing calls fro# rando# payphones !y

ne%t 4o+ was at a #arina as a co&er only, and that lasted until I was gi&en a position in

Falls Church, Virginia, to +e an operati&e and watch a #an who had co#e fro#

!c=onald =ouglas to General =yna#ics who was wor-ing on the S ?a&y Ad&anced

Tactical Aircraft, or ATA "ater I was sent +ac- to #y own ho#e county to wor- on

#a-ing sure technological ad&ance#ents and research in 5ell "a+s in >ol#del weren(t

+eing sold +y e#ployees For a while I was e&en a 4anitor at a ratt H 'hitney facility

in $ast >artford, Connecticut #onitoring co##unication with the sa#e person of

interest who was loosely affiliated with the #an who was #y pri#ary o+4ecti&e in

Virginia

!y 4o+ had only +een to follow instructions and collect tapes or plant de&ices, and a few

ti#es e&en reco&er the#, It was heart pounding wor-, +ecause if we were disco&ered it

#eant ti#e and arrest, they couldn(t +low that it was the ? S A +ehind it It #ight not

#ean as #uch ti#e as it would if we were +eing actual cri#inals, +ecause they would

wor- their #agic and we would +e out uic-, +ut it still #eant #ore of a record and

ha&ing to wait The guy fro# ?orth Carolina had gone through that already >e did three

#onths for a +urglary +ut was released +ecause of a 0!iranda0 &iolation >e was re;

assigned to California I thin-


11/18

Chapter Four, "ittle Cay#an and Operation $%odus

In ( E I got an assign#ent, #y first real 05lac-;Op0 There was a crippie in Virginia at

?orfol- who had +ro-en up with his wife after )6 years and had +een dating a co-e head

>ispanic dancer chic-, and she had +een seen lea&ing the So&iet $#+assy in !e%ico

City That was all it too- All sur&eillance said he was still a loyal +oy scout, +ut ? S A

and = I A wanted hi# out of the position without ha&ing to gi&e anyone a heads up that

they -new 5y law, ? S A wasn(t supposed to +e conducting hat type of sur&eillance in

the first place So the deal was for #e to lea&e Connecticut, got to !eade, get +riefed on

a plan to get hi# out of his 4o+ assign#ent with the least a#ount of da#age to hi#, hiscareer, or his life, and still negate the security threat

I +ought a +ag of weed, s#o-ed half of it, went to ?orfol-, actually Virginia 5each I

threw the other half of the +ag under the seat of his C3, and called the #ain gate

co#plaining so#e s uid officer had ripped #e off for weed and I wanted to than- hi#

+y fuc-ing hi# and turning hi# in I watched as he was stopped at the gate and ta-en

into custody >e +la#ed the weed on his girlfriend, the dancer, and since no drugs were

in his syste# he didn(t get in #uch trou+le, +ut it was enough to warrant a re;assign#ent

and transfer

I went to !eade, went to #y S A C(s office, put #y feet on his des- and told hi# to call

?orfol- >e ca#e +ac- in a half hour later so#ewhere in+etween anger and laughter

calling #e a son;of;a;+itch 0@ou son;of;a;+itch, that was +rilliant, +ut you(re supposed

to get clearance on shit li-e that first 0 >e didn(t -now if he needed to repri#and #e or

praise #e, so he did +oth >e then told #e I was 0ready0

The ?a&y Captain, the crippie, had left his wife for the dancer, who #ore than li-ely

was intelligence fro# a So&iet friendly nation, I actually thin- she was Sal&adorian, +ut

can(t re#e#+er for sure >is wife was gi&en an incenti&e to #o&e to follow hi# with


12/18

their children and his C O ordered hi# into #arital counseling, and the last I heard

when I as-ed they were in 3apan and getting along +etter $&en he thought the +ag

+elonged to the dancer She got +la#ed for it anyway, and when her &isa ran out she

would +e re#o&ed, +ut watched until then They didn(t -now she had +lown her co&er,

so another group would watch her

!y ne%t assign#ent was a special 4oint;op There was a S Custo#s Ser&ice operation

called Operation $%odus, which was designed to pre&ent high tech hardware, software,

or other corporate secrets or technological ad&ance#ents fro# +eing lost to industrial or

corporate espionage and hurting our econo#y, +ut a secret ar# and e%tension of that

went further

A 4oint tas- force +etween the C I A , Custo#s, an F 5 I liaison, =efense Intelligence

Agency, and the CSS ?SA were wor-ing to crush So&iet +ac-ed and run espionage that

fell into that type of loss So#e #ilitary secrets would +e lost, and so#e corporate ones

which could e&en hurt us econo#ically, +ut when it was the F 5 I or = O 3 would lose

4urisdiction when it left the states, as would Custo#s to a +ig degree, and the C I A

couldn(t +e tas-ed, and it was +asically illegal to pursue so#ething once lost +ased on

hunch and guess So#e secrets were in fact lost at !c=onnell;=ouglas and General

=yna#ics on ad&ance#ents to prototypes of the !c=onnell;=ouglas A;). A&enger for

the ATA progra# The ?a&y was ha&ing co#panies design a replace#ent for the A; ,

and critical data had +een stolen

I was sent down to "ittle Cay#an Islant to ser&e as co##unications liason and safe;

house +ac-up for a 4oint Custo#s Co#pany +uy A C I A and Custo#s agent had pairedup and were going to pose as potential +uyers fro# Israel, who yes, e&en they spied on

the S and would steal fro# us depending what it was After tying up and sending a

coded #essage that I was there, I had ta-en out a +ottle of wine and was s#o-ing a 4oint

on dec- when I was shot The +ullet was supressed, not silenced, and I -new I was in

trou+le as the thic- +ottle was struc- first and shattered I put #y hand o&er #y heart


13/18


14/18

who contacted the S S nderwood which was on trials, which was #a-ing way for

#e I don(t -now e%actly when they pic-ed #e up off the dec- of the sail+oat, +ut it was

roughly a day after I #otored out of "ittle Cay#an The little . cylinder diesel had

+urned through al#ost the entire E/ gallons on +oard, and I was soa-ed in +lood and

was ghostly white and al#ost passing out fro# +lood loss

I re#e#+er fading in and out for the few hours +efore I was lifted onto the helidec- at

the +ac- of the +oat I re#e#+er the ceiling, +eing on the stretcher, and after they

wor-ed on #y chest flipped #e to +utterfly #y ass where I had +een fully and deeply

gra


15/18

5ut there I was, 4ust south of the Great 5an-s of the 5aha#as and Tur-s and Cacous

patched up fro# a 7 7 slug, roughly the si


16/18

position in the #ilitary or with the = I A , +ut I said no, went to !eade for a de+riefing,

got a chec- that was a few #onths of G S * le&el pay, and ca#e ho#e If I went #ilitary

I would start O S ), +ut I wasn(t +iting !ay+e he thought the increased pay would

entice #e to stay, only two others of the original nine were +eing offered the sa#e

according to hi#, and in so#e ways I regret not doing it, +ut I was done

I had ser&ed #y nation and once again was a &icti#, +ut I was finally past that On #y

trip across the Atlantic I had found peace with #y past, with all the things I had done

wrong and which were done to #e, and was a+le to finally let go of the +ullshit that had

either controlled or ruined #y own perspecti&e and life !y epiphany ca#e following a

stor# that put the little sail+oat we were on through hell A few days later floating in the

South Atlantic I #ade #y peace with e&erything, and found #y way +ac- to #yself I

had seen the +est and worst of hu#anity in #any ways, and gotten perspecti&e That is

an asset they really don(t teach you anywhere The anger and sadness of losing #y

father, watching #y fa#ily #o&e apart, +eing screwed o&er so #uch, then losing 3ules

washed off #e and san- to the +otto# of the sea I was solitary, +ut that was fine, and I

-new #yself well enough at last to li&e on #y own truest ter#s

I returned ho#e and +eca#e a +artender in The =u+liner u+ in 2ed 5an-, then +eca#e

part owner of a restaurant called the Owl H The Fiddler, spending #y nights at the

Green arrot I did things on #y own, li-e the one night +efore Christ#as when I was

lea&ing the arrot and was on the road to the west of the As+ury ar- train station and

city hall co#ple%, and saw the people inside the station for the night +ecause of the

+itter cold I was at the red light and the lights ca#e on fro# the approaching

south+ound train, and cut across the trac-s +efore the gates ca#e down, went to the

'a'a and +ought coffee and doughnuts for e&eryone, and went and fed people I then

#ade it a steady practice to #a-e soups and #eals fro# scraps fro# the restaurant and

would go down and feed people e&ery night I also wrote for an alternati&e newspaper

called the Flowering Tree, and got +ac- in&ol&ed in social 4ustice and en&iron#entalist


17/18

and conser&ation organi


18/18

In the winter of 6 #y +oat had +een ransac-ed and e&erything I had wor-ed for was

gone It was right +efore Christ#as and I left 3ersey and #ade #y way to 3e-yll Island

to accept a standing 4o+ offer to do restorations, and lead and as+estos a+ate#ent on

Fran- "loyd 'rights house, +ut it was state run par- technically and their +udget got cut

+y the State of Georgia instead of +eing increasedB so instead of adding #e they had

e&en wound up cutting so#eone else who had +een there for four years I #ade #y way

to 3ac-son&ille and li&ed downtown running a little apart#ent a+o&e the Stout shop &ery

close to !etropolis, where I once again was dancing to new wa&e and pun- on a nightly

+asis I was so#ewhat of a fi%ture in the alternati&e #usic night clu+ scene for a short

ti#e, until I #o&ed to the +each and e&entually started a new life which lead to #y

ha&ing a son

The /(s to #e was a period of fast transitions, personal change and growth, then #ore

transitions I was the Flying =utch#an, was a &aga+ond I really ne&er tried to hurt

anyone, and would go after those who did, or stand up to the# or a&oid the# I still ha&e

a few regrets o&er so#e things, +ut not what I could of had and lost +ut what I did ha&e

and let go or allowed to +e ruined or left +y the wayside I still ha&e #y arrogant side,

#y sense of 4ustice, #y lo&e of others and heart to help, #y e#pathy, #y passion, and

+eing 4ust past 7/ it is al#ost ti#e to #a-e one last full and final transition I want to

reach a distant shore and li&e out #y life writing, and wor-ing to #a-e the world a

+etter place "i&ing your life +ehind walls of your own creation hurts not only yourself,

and when I too- #ine down I was finally a+le to truly en4oy life in so#ething #ore than

#o#ents or co#part#ents where part of #e was walled off and isolated I ha&e fi%ed

the dichoto#y of #y own character traits to a degree, and a# ready to write the finalchapters to the ad&enture of #y life I still carry the lo&e, 4ust only wish that I could ha&e

honored it +etter instead of allowing #y own de#ons to consu#e #e so long ago 5ut

that is life, right "i&e and learn

Walls Go Up Walls Come Down

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