University of Hawai‘i at Ma¯noa Center on the Family...

University of Hawai‘i at Manoa • Center on the Family • Family Resource Kit

F A M I L Y F O U N D A T I O N S

Household Work:Share the Load

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“For very young children, just helping out is important.”

ll families have housework and chores to do. Preparing food,

doing laundry, washing dishes, cleaning the bathroom, and paying the bills are some of the many jobs family members do to keep things clean and organized. Families keep their homes safer and healthier by doing these types of jobs. Everyone in the family gains by sharing the housework. Most parents want their children to grow up to be responsible adults who contribute to their own families and community. Knowing how to do household jobs helps children. They can learn and practice important life skills like being responsible, getting along, working as part of a team, and planning and finishing a job. Parents often find that sharing housework also promotes cooperation, caring, and a sense of belonging to the family. Sometimes, it may seem easier to have the adults do the work. Parents may feel frustrated when they try to include kids in the work. Supervising children can be hard because they are unsure about what to do. Children often get frustrated when they can’t do a job as well as an adult. Many parents adjust their expectations about work quality and tidiness while their children are younger to let kids learn and practice. Even though young children often can’t do the same quality of work, working together with other family members gives them a chance to learn and develop their skills. Each time they help with a job, children are practicing, and practicing helps them to get better at doing the job. For very young children, just helping out is important. They get a chance to feel like an important part of their family. With time, they

master household tasks. From this process, they develop a sense of pride and accomplishment. With busy lives, working as a family team is often the only way to get the work done! Harder and more dangerous jobs obviously should be reserved for adults. To keep chores interesting, observe your children to find out what they like to do and can do. Let them each choose one or 2 simple jobs from the list of things that need to be done. By giving them choices of jobs that they are able to handle, you can avoid undue frustration, and your children can feel successful at their jobs. Like other work, household work includes: preparing to work, doing the work, and cleaning up. Here are some ways to have fun and involve young children in household work.

Photo: © Tami Dawson

FRK.HouseworkShareTheLoad.indd 1 4/18/12 10:01 AM

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Preparing to WorkOne of the hardest things about housework is just getting started. Use your regular family time to sit together and discuss the chores for the week. If you don’t have a scheduled family time, consider holding a short meeting to plan household jobs that need to be done. Some parents list the jobs that they think their children can do and assign them. Other parents ask their children to come up with a list. Either way, you can go room by room to see what needs to be done. Kids remember better if they get to take part in deciding which jobs to do. Ask your children to take a look at each room and tell you what they see that needs to be done. Write these down in a list and make a schedule. You can jot the jobs down on a calendar and keep it in a common spot (like on the refrigerator door) where any family member can see it. Simple pictures of the jobs can be used as reminders for young children. With guidance and patience, even very young children can use the schedule to see what needs to be done. Here is an example of a weekly schedule.

Sunday

1. clean bathroom

Examples of jobs for kids:

• usespongeto wipe sink and/or counters

• learntousetoiletbrushtoclean toilet withadultguidance

2. prepare meal and cleanup

Monday

1. sweep or vacuum


• cleararea(pickuprubbishand/or clothing)so that it can be vacuumed


Tuesday

1. empty all rubbishand take to street or dumpster


• pairwithadulttoholdbigbagopenorbringlight-weightrubbishcans to central dumpingcan


Wednesday

1. tidy rooms


• pickupallT-shirts

• pickupallpants

• pickupallrubbishandthrow it in can

• stackbooks or magazines

• returntoysto shelf or box


Thursday

1. familymeet-ing:choosework jobs

2. safety check day for a safe, healthy home


• Adultexplainswhat is safe and what is not. Child pairs with adulttolookfordangerousthingslikecans,glass,etc.

3. prepare meal andcleanup

Friday

1. “batch cooking”forweek

2. outdoorsafety check and clean up

Saturday

1. laundryday

2. prepare meal, and cleanup


• washhands• wipetable• putforks

and spoons on table

• placenapkins on table

• carrydishorcuptosink


“One of the hardest things about housework is just getting started.”


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“Until your children are older and gain more skills, you will probably need to pitch in often to make sure the jobs get done.”

When a calendar is used to schedule the jobs, kids can learn how planning tools like the calendar work. It holds information about what needs to be done and who will do it. Having a schedule can even help adults. With such busy lives, we often don’t get to the basics of housework unless we schedule it! Parents can say, “Go check the chart to see what needs to be done today.” Built-in work routines like these can help anchor the whole family. No matter which day of the week, a lot can get done in 10, 15, or 60 minutes. If everyone learns to rely on the routine, parents can spend time with their kids and have fun while they do household jobs. If parents are consistent about doing housework, children will learn that it’s an important part of their everyday lives.

Doing the WorkUntil your children are older and gain more skills, you will probably need to pitch in often to make sure the jobs get done. Below are some tips about doing household chores with young children. Remember that these ideas may work better at some times than at others. Don’t give up. Give yourselves some time to establish routines that work for your family. Remember that working together builds family bonds, just as playing together does. Everyone learns together.

Keep chores simple. Small jobs help keep kids going. Focus on one or 2 tasks rather than the whole job. Break down the task into a simple step-by-step procedure. For example, on laundry days, the steps could be:• Sortthebigpileinto3pilesoflights,colors,anddarks.

(Show your child exactly what to do.)• Helpputonepileinthewashingmachine.• Helptaketheclothesoutofthewasherandputthemin

the dryer (or in the basket to be taken out to hang on the line).

• Aftertheclothesaredryandcoolenoughtotouchsafely,help remove them from the dryer (or help take down the clothes from the line).

• Helpfoldthetowelsorsortandrollsocks.• Sortthingsaccordingtowheretheybelong—the

bathroom closet, Mommy’s dresser drawers, or baby’s drawers.

• Helpcarrycleanclothestoputaway. Team up with a child and work together. By rotating adult, child, and jobs, everyone gets different partners and jobs. Kids like having their parents there to guide them and see their accomplishments. It’s a great time to share concerns, get the latest news, and find out about school and friends. It may take longer to finish the work, but you are spending time together—teaching,learning,andlistening. Have a daily 10-minute clean-up period. It reduces clutter and makes the house safe and clean. Place everyone in a different area of the house to pick up and put away clothes, dishes, toys, newspapers, and other things. Encourage everyone to work quickly to get the rooms neat and clean. Use a timer. Play music or sing. Set the timer, shout go, and have everyone get as much done as possible before the buzzer goes off. Use the same technique when your child’s friends come over to play. Save the last 10 minutes of the visit to pick up and put away toys and games that are scattered about the house. Select jobs suitable for a child. Generally, the younger the child, the more adult assistance and supervision are needed. Plan housework for times when you’re there to assist, guide and supervise. A baby who is not yet sitting up or crawling on his own is too young to help, but you can include him in the work session by carrying him while you do a chore. Talk to your baby about what you are doing, and encourage other family members to do the same. If carrying baby doesn’t work the whole time, put him on a clean blanket where he can watch the rest of the family. By the time your baby is 12 months old, he’ll probably know your family routines. If he’s walking by then, don’t be surprised if he



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carries his dish to the sink or tosses clothes in the hamper, just like other family members! Here are some examples of jobs very young children can do:9-month- to one-year-olds who are strong crawlers and can sit up on their own:• Pitchingtoysinabucketwithyourencouragement• Bringingadiaperforyoutochangehim• Puttingrubbishinthegarbagecan• Handingitemstoanoldersiblingtoputaway.Young toddlers who love “load and dump” actions:• Loadingupa(pretend)dumptruckwithtoysandclothing

and “driving” the items back to toy bins or dresser drawers

• Rinsingnon-breakabledishesinadishpanhalf-fullwithcold water before handing them to you for washing

• Huntingforrubbisharoundtheroom• Stackingmagazinesornewspapersinpiles• Gatheringandplacingcrayonsinacontainer• Returningthingsbacktotheirproperplaces.Older toddlers who are developing hand and finger control, language, and memory skills:• Playingamemorygameaspartofthechore,whereyou

give your child 2 simple jobs to do in a row (such as picking up the paper and putting it in the rubbish can)

• Findingtoysthatareoutofplaceandcountingthemasheputs them away

• Sortinglaundrybycolorbeforeyouwash• Takingowndishestothesinkforwashing.Preschoolers who can probably talk in sentences, love attention, are curious about everything, and gaining body strength, balance, and coordination:• Sortinganddeliveringlaundrytodifferentrooms• Settingthetable• Pouringmilkorjuiceoutofakid-sizedpitcherintocups

and placing them on the table• Teamingupwithanadulttopullweedsinthegardenor

carry a container of rubbish outside• Helpingyoungerkidswithjobsliketidyingabookshelf

or locating the correct drawer for clean laundry. These job suggestions take into account a child’s skills at a given stage. Young children need adults to help them learn. They need clear, simple instructions, many reminders, lots of encouragement, and much practice to build their skills and masterthejob.Theyneedyoursupervisionastheywork—they’re not ready to handle jobs alone. Observe them often to keep up with gradual changes in their abilities. When jobs match their skills, very young children enjoy helping out. They often feel a sense of accomplishment, even for little

things like finishing chores. This builds their self-confidence and self-esteem.

Cleaning upAfter chores are done, there are probably cleaning products and tools to put away. Show your children where these things belong and let them help put the items away. If children learn that cleaning up is part of the job, they will be more likely to do so always.

Everyone GainsAfter a job is done, recognize the accomplishment. Help your children determine whether a job is done by looking it over and asking if each step was completed. For example, on clean-up day, sit in the living room and ask your child to look carefully on the floor to see if everything has been picked up. Once the job is completed, a few words like, “Gee, you worked on that job, and now it’s all done. Way to go!” or a simple gesture like a hand shake or a pat on the back give a great message of appreciation. Kids feel especially good when their parents notice their little accomplishments. To an adult, it may be just housework, but little ones often feel very important when they are recognized and praised. Reward yourself. Working together to reach a goal, the completion of chores, is an accomplishment! Remind yourself that no one has a perfect cleaning routine the first time they try it with their family. (It probably won’t be perfect the 2ndor3rdtimeeither.)Perhapsyouwillfindthatwatchingthe progress, working together, and just getting along to do household chores are enough! You can have fun cleaning with your family without everything being done perfectly. With help and encouragement, young children can learn about and practice skills like planning, being responsible, getting along, and supporting the family effort by doing household work. When family members combine their energies to keep the house clean and safe, everyone gains.



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