IMAGES

LAST THING

Unforgettable

Paul Read

fromONE

....

What if, in a dialog between the past and the present, between the living and

the dead, between the real and the fictitious, innovative writers and fighters

such as Bruce Lee, Alan Watts, Marshall McLuhan, Kwai Chang Caine, Carl

Young, and Lao Tzu were brought back to life and transported to the present so

they might raise an index finger, lean forward and whisper knowingly,

IMAGES FROM ONE LAST THING

“Oh, before I forget, just One Last Thing…

By

*Lao Tzu and Getting Things Undone

*Chang San Feng and The Ape

*Yang Lu Chan and the Village of the Chens

*Yang Cheng Fu and Going Internal

*Cheng Man Ching and Going West

*Bruce Lee and Being Bouncy

*Carl Jung and Word Association

*Krishnamurti and Going Deep

*Piglet and the Animal Defense League *Doctor Who and the Tardis *David Carradine and Kung Fu *Alan Watts and the Shaolin Temple *Màs Oyama and Animal Rights *Karl Marx learns self-Defence *Marshal McLuhan and Productivity *Rocky Balboa and Future Plans

AMONGST OTHERS

STARRING STARRING

With the help of...

The contentious history of how Chinese philosophy and the martial arts emigrated to the West is a story that has been purposely shrouded in the mists of legend, impossible to authenticate without first-hand contact with the authors themselves. Thanks to a recent discovery of fragmented newspaper interviews, email snippets, court room transcripts and the surreptitious placing of a webcam in the homes of various sages during their lunch breaks, the story of how the arts moved West can at last accurately be re-told.

An introduction to the journey

With a special focus on the humble and soft practice of tai chi chuan, we begin our journey through space and time with the father of soft thinking, the founder of Taoism and the first productivity coach in the history of the world: Lao (Leave It Alone) Tzu who talks exclusively with ace reporter Gerald Greene.

1. The Productivity Guru

From the ethereal thoughts of Lao Tzu came the practice of Taoism with its physical, spiritual and philosophical expressions. One expression took the form of Chang San Feng, reputedly, seven feet tall with “the bones of a crane and the posture of a pine tree”. His appearance, if not already somewhat distinct, was marked further by the manipulation of his facial hair into a form resembling a spike - setting a style that was not to catch on until Salvador Dalí reached adulthood. He wandered the bamboo forests of China accompanied by an Orang-utan that helped him perfect the early tai chi postures. How much of this or any legend is true? Fortunately ‘The Doctor' was able track down an eyewitness who gave this interview to Gerald Greene.

2. The Abandoned Ape Interview

Once Chang San Feng had fled the forest, to live out his life as an immortal Taoist amongst the gods, tai chi was abandoned to the simians and storytellers of legend, only to finally surface centuries later in the Village of the Chens. Here the postures lived on, isolated from the rest of the world - until that is of course - Yang ‘The Invincible' Lu Chan strolled onto the scene. In this revealing interview he explains how he developed the Yang style and what he learnt in the Village of the Chens.

3. Life in the "Village": The Full Story

Yang ‘The Invincible' Lu Chan strove to maintain his new ‘Invincibility' style by procreating and producing several generations that would once more influence the future direction of the martial arts. One grandchild named Yang Chen Fu - easily distinguishable by his impressive rotundness and spectacular moustache - is famous for his decision to shift the emphasis of the art in the opposite direction. For some this was the biggest sell out in tai chi history and began the slippery slope that accounts for all the charlatans and mystics now selling tai chi iPhone apps and Internal Arts Master Degrees via YouTube. Thanks once more to a hidden web-cam in the home of Lu Chan, we can witness the precise moment in history when Yang Chen Fu broke the news of this rupture to Granddaddy Yang ‘The Invincible' Lu Chan.

4. The Moment Tai Chi Goes Internal

In the end, Yang Chen Fu had his way. The community split once more into those that refused to leave the Invincible Path and those that embraced the changes swept in by the 20th century. Yang Chen Fu strove to teach according to his new goals and amongst his many students came a man destined once more to change forever the direction of the soft arts. Cheng Man Ching was accused of of diluting the style so that Westerners - who it was believed didn't have the patience of Asian practitioners - could learn the basic moves. At last we get to here what the great man has to say himself as 5 questions are put to Cheng Man Ching.

5. Go West Young Man

As Origami, Judo, Jujitsu and D.I.Y Nunchaku courses began to open up during the 1960s, the West experienced a spiritual awakening and before anyone realised, an entirely new genre of oriental mysticism had been created for an enthusiastic new audience. Onto this stage stepped Bruce Lee - the Little Dragon: The nunchaku wielding, cat screaming, choreographer and martial artist who single-handedly defined a mood, style, look and posture for every generation that has followed him. But what was he like to work with? What were his innermost concerns? And what did he think of all those that tried to fit into his shoes after he had left?

6. Boards Don't Hit Back

Good evening and welcome to this week's episode of Alphabetical Legends. My name is Gerald Greene and on this week's show we are focusing on Bruce Lee; actor, writer, producer and acknowledged King Of Kung Fu. On tonight's Round Table Discussion we will be discussing his impact on the lives of so many people across all the continents of the world and to do so, we have invited an esteemed panel of guests of whom we ask: What was it like to work alongside the Little Dragon?

7. Live Radio: Round Table Discussion

IMPERSONATE BRUCE LEE IN THE PRIVACY OF YOUR HOME WITH THESE WIFI ENABLED ‘i-NUNCHUKAS' MADE OF UNI-BODY ALUMINIUM AND DESIGNED IN CALIFORNIA. FREE! WHEN YOU ORDER YOUR LAO TZU ON-LINE IMMORTALITY COURSE TODAY NOW 4G ENABLED WITH FINGERPRINT ID RECOGNITION

Commercial Break Commercial Break

The classic poster design for Enter the Dragon was first met with concern by the actors in the film. Consensus was not easily reached as can be found in this early recording from a graphic design studio in the heart of Hollywood. Roper: "By the way Williams, what do you mean ‘Just' an actor? Lets count up the number of real actors in this film. Now, there was me, and……well, that's about it." Williams: "OK so you can act. But you kick like my granny. Remember that dreadful golf fight sequence O'Hara?"

8. POSTER PROBLEMS

Jung: Take a seat Mr Lee. Now, I'm going to sit behind you on that chair over there. Please do not look round under any circumstance. Try to Relax. Why don't you pass me your Nunchaku before we begin? Lee: Promise you won't let anyone else use them? Jung: My, how light they feel. And what a beautiful feel they have. Lee: Designed in California, made in the Shaolin Temple. 4G and Wifi enabled.

9. The Association of Words

FRIDAY EVE: THE REGISTRATION LIST Lee: And how's the list looking for this weekend introduction Course Danny? Dan: Looks a bit of a challenge boss, even for the King of Kung Fu. Lee: Why? Dan: The list reads like a medical convention with a small pig. STUDENT LIST: Dr Who (Time Lord) Dr Carl Jung (International Observer) Dr Dolittle (Interpreter to the Piglet) Piglet (Woozle Hunter and global campaigner for animal rights)

10. Jeet Kune Do Wknd for Beginners

Although the Little Dragon is no longer with us, it is not too difficult to see the direction in which his training and ideas were taking him. Some have argued that a faster, hairier or more bouncy exponent would lead the next revolution in martial art movies, yet the following conversation - anonymously posted onto an international news agency web site last month - shows that perhaps Lee was contemplating an altogether different direction for his last film.

11. The First Film Script

Jiddu Krishnamurti: A man whose thoughts and ideas proved influential in the world of martial arts, fashion, hairstyles and alternative culture. He sought by example to understand the world through personal enquiry. Only through personal enquiry - he maintained - can we discover the answers to our deepest questions from within ourselves and avoid blindly accepting the words of those that call themselves leaders. Jiddu extols his personal philosophy with Mr Sanders in the supermarket, in a live radio interview, and later over a shared pizza with an certain hairy Karate champ.

12. Go East Young Man

Jiddu: Please explain something to me Mr. Colt. You consider yourself a ‘Champ', do you not? Colt: Of course, of course. Though Jiddu, in these parts of the States we prefer to pronounce the letter ‘a' more like the sound ‘ah' and less like the sound ‘ugh'. Jiddu: Yet you lost the Colosseum fight. Why do you think you lost the Colosseum fight sir? Colt: I didn't lose it, exactly. It was in the script! Jiddu: Yet your combative toolbox was empty, no? Your target became impossible to hit. Your rhythm was broken by the bounciness, the cat language and the unpredictability of Mr Lee's shuffle.

13. Paranoia in the Pizza Restaurant

Click on Image below to watch video

Kevin: You have said that “we do not so much as come into this world, but rather come out of it”. Can you go deeper into this? Watts: The same way that a tree leafs or an ocean waves. Everything comes out of everything else, it is the great stream of life and we are all part of it. Not as a cork bobbing about on top of it, but as a wave… are you with me Kevin? Kevin: I think I'm with you sir. You mean, as a letter comes out of an envelope? Watts: No, not really. Kevin: As milk comes out of the fridge? Watts: No…

14. The Master of the Wiggle

Caine: But the special effects worked. Before the first series was over, I was the undisputed king of Kung Fu: Videos, posters, rice-paper carpets, grow your own flute kits...all that merchandise jazz. Gerald Greene: Was that an example of the sort of thing you included in your best-selling martial arts videos - how to look like you are doing it, when in fact you aren't? Caine: Let me explain about the videos. I'd been out of work a while, and it had been years since I had worn my old satin tunic...and Tarantino wasn't due to come on the scene for another decade Gerald Greene: Uh huh.

15. Caine Confesses Temple Secrets

Master Khan: We teach not to just to copy but to improve. Watts: All well and good in theory but if the emphasis is on following, how then it will be possible to learn to overtake?

The Shaolin Lectures Features Alan Watts and how to shift the training methods into the 21st century.

As the last decades of the 20th century merged together the popular cultural movements from both the East and the West, individuals suddenly found themselves in a culturally confused and homogenous world. Westerners adopted hairstyles, beads and satin clothes from Asia, whilst Asians embraced the uniformity and ironed-trouser crispness of occidental fashion. Clarity and perspective were slipping away once more, so the call went out for help from the prophets of this new era. Yet, it would be not just to the future where solutions would be sought but to the past once again, a past that with increasing frequency would turn up at our door like an unwanted relative.

16. Confusion in the Global Village

Lineage, tradition and claims of authenticity continued to plague the development of Chinese arts and ideas during the 1970s and 1980s. Some people even turned their backs on the vagaries of Taoism and the many interpretations of tai chi and Kung Fu and sought clarity amongst the more disciplined Japanese practices of Karate, Judo and Origami. Amongst the many karate teachers responsible for bringing the art of empty hand fighting to the attention of the West, Mas Oyama remains one of the most original and characterful

17. International Relations

Watts: We all remember only what suits us and there is almost no limit to what we can forget. Prosecution: We are here Mr Watts, not to hypothesize or postulate but merely to ascertain the facts… Watts: You talk as though facts in some way constitute truth. Facts are no more than the barren branches on which we hang the dear, obscuring foliage of our dreams. Prosecution: Nevertheless, please try, for the court's sake Mr Watts, to limit yourself to just the facts.

18. Taoist Wisdom Goes to Court

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