Typically, stuckness indicates that...Think Baskin Robbins 31 flavors of ice cream. The most...

Lesson #1 How do you help a client who is big time stuck with their goal and nothing you, or they, are doing seems to help?

past issues | coachville.com

Answer It is NOT uncommon for a client to find themselves in this position. Typically, stuckness indicates that...

The client needs a much bigger game to play. If the goal is too small, some clients simply aren't motivated enough to fire on all cylinders.

The client needs a smaller game to play. If the goal is too large, some clients get overwhelmed or feel that they'll never get there. So, either make the game smaller or identify important milestones along the way and target to those.

The client's paradigm needs to be shifted or expanded quickly. If the client is thinking too small, or historically, help them to upgrade their paradigm by....

The client may need to start doing the opposite of what they've been doing. Don't laugh at this one. It can work. Just ask the client what would happen, or what they would feel if they started doing the opposite of what they've been doing to reach this goal. If nothing else, it's a creative exercise. Remember, the client is stuck, and it's not a natural state to be stuck, so sometimes a 180 or 90 degree turn is what's needed.

The client doesn't really want the goal even though they say they do. I see this a lot. The client has a goal in mind but it's actually a 'should' goal vs a 'want' goal and so they don't get very far with it. The trick is to help the client work on 'want' goals, or to shift the should into a want. 'Should' goals, while important, are likely to derail the client. 'Want' goals, however, usually keep the client motivated. Again, it's a cool coaching skills to help the client reframe or redesign a should goal into a want goal.

The client needs a very different goal. In my experience, the client is rarely able to clearly, simply, and cleanly articulate what they most want, so an important part of the coaching process is to tease out what matters most to the client and in words that are meaningful to them (vs jargon, vague or Hallmark card mushy language).

The goal needs a very different strategy. There are many ways to cause an outcome; these are called strategy. Our job as a coach is to help the client find the most appealing and effective strategy that gets them from point A to point

of 3How To Coach Anyone | Lesson #01

B without going through point Z. And if the client isn't making progress with their goal, consider using an different approach/strategy instead.

The client may be concerned about perceived loss or consequences. Hey, success can be very, very stressful because a personal is replace the old, the known and the familiar with something else. Welcome to evolution. Even if everything is going to be terrific when they reach their goal, the fear of losing someone's love, their old friends, their routine, etc., can be more than enough to get a client stuck in the present.

The client is resisting the pressure they may be feeling from you. Clients can be touchy. Sometimes, your eagerness is off putting, or the client will sense pressure if you're more excited about or committed to the goal than they are. Client's may resist so much, they actually get stuck around the goal. If this happens, ask the client how much pressure they are feeling from you. And ask yourself whether you're pushing, pulling or otherwise trying too hard.

The client's environments are not properly set up to support this goal. The types of goals that people set today are much more complex that the goals our parent set, and the environments we are surrounded by need to be tweaked in order to give us the 24/7 support we need. Environments include family, friends, networks, emotional environments, memes/concepts, paradigms, paradoxes, creative stimulation, performance support (like a coach), what we eat (for the energy we need) and how clean our energy is.

The client may need a break from coaching. There comes a time when a client needs a break from you or a break from coaching but either they don't know it, or they don't want to tell you, so they 'get stuck' and then have a reason/justification/explanation to opt out.

The client is just plan scared. Sometimes, the goal is to exciting that it becomes overwhelming to the client and they get mired in the process. Find out if this is true and work on the distinction excitement vs fear. It can be a subtle distinction. I've found that by identifying and then reducing/eliminate the perceived consequences of reaching the goal, that the client can move back to toward excitement and away from fear.

The goal is not a clear enough expression of the client's true values. This happens a lot because the body slow/shuts down when goals aren't aligned with one's internal values. Work with the client on their top 5 values and find the connection between the goal they are stuck on the value that it expresses. See PersonalFoundation.com for info on True Values. Questions to ask your client...

Do you know why you're stuck? If we back burner this goal, what is one that you rather work on

instead? Do you sometimes get stuck when you're this close to reaching a

goal?


Do you need a supportive kick in the pants? Tell me what I should do in order to unstick you in the next 10

minutes? How much longer are you willing to be stuck on this? Are you willing to try a backdoor approach to reaching this goal? What else should we try?

Final thoughts...

Be patient, but don't be the tail of the dog. The client may need time to figure out what big changes to make in their life in order to reach this goal more easily, or perhaps they'll need to select a very different goal instead. I'd give a client no more than 3 sessions for us to work it out and to have them propelled forward with plenty of energy to reach the goal or complete the project. Otherwise, it's too tiring for both of you and it's probably not even coaching by that point. Personally, I prefer to resolve this type of thing within 20 minutes. I don't want it carried over to the next call.

Goals are meant to be exciting to reach. If the client is resisting, laboring, complaining or just not into it, find another goal or develop another strategy that IS self motivating. The alternative is that both you and your client get dragged down. Do NOT be afraid to require the client to pick another goal if the one they are working on isn't getting anywhere. Abandon hope. Feel better. Move forward. copyright 2001 by coachville.com. written by thomas j. leonard. all rights reserved. coachville member use only. no distribution.


Lesson #2: How do you coach someone who doesn't know what they want?


The fact is, most people don't know what they really want. So, one of the ways we can add value to clients is to help them to figure out what they most want. Here are some the ways that you can help a client figure out what they really want...

Work with the client on their values. When one's values are clear, one's goals become a lot clearer.

Work with the client on their definition of success. When a person has defined for success for themselves, the is less confusion about their goals. What's important has already been made obvious; life follows from that.

Work with the client to clear up the stuff that's distracting/draining them. These are called tolerations, unfinished business and diversions. Sometimes, it's difficult for the client to see what really want when their 'life lens' is dirty, cracked or cloudy.

Get the client working/focused on something that they ARE clear on. Sometimes, all a client needs is momentum in order to get the perspective they need to know what they really want.

Ask the client what they really enjoyed when they were six years old. Why six? Because that's when most kids start formal school and where learning is replaced by information acquisition, conformity and achieving for the sake of parental love.

Share the Integrity > Needs > Wants Model Here's how it works... If you can't figure out, or achieve, what you want, it's probably because your needs aren't being met. And if you can't seem to get your needs met, it's probably because your integrity is out/off/weak. And, going in the other direction... When your integrity is strong, needs are easily met. And when needs are met, one has very, very few wants. Feel free to share this model with your clients.

Page 1 of 2How To Coach Anyone | Lesson #02

Lesson #3 How much direction, if any, should you give the client?


Some coaches feel that giving a client direction robs the client of the joy of discovery. Other coaches are drill sergeants. Who's the better coach? They both are...

Different clients need different approaches, depending on the their personality/style, the situation/need and the timing/urgency. Think Baskin Robbins 31 flavors of ice cream. The most successful coaches know all 31 flavors and can adapt to the changing needs of the clients and the marketplace. (Note: Some coaching schools tsk tsk the idea of a coach being directive. Those schools are not training their coaches for the real world, in my opinion. One trick ponies are rarely successful.)

There are some situations in which you'll be very directive because of your level of experience/expertise, and because the client wants you to be. One reason that most clients hire a coach is to help them get somewhere faster. Speedier. Easier. Fewer bumps. Fewer delays. Flatter learning curve. You get the picture. True, sometimes, it's more beneficial for the client to "find their own answers," but I've found that most clients want you to bring them up to speed with the dynamic of the situation/opportunity they are in, and help them devise strategies and solutions that work well. Adjust to meet the present client need.

Clients ARE hiring you for your opinions as well as your support and great questions. Some coaches ask a lot of questions. And that's all they do. Which can get annoying. And lead to "Where's the beef?" complaints. Most clients WANT to know your views, observations, opinions, related experiences, solutions and inklings about what they are working on or how they are coming across. When a client hires a coach, they want all of the coach; not just your great personality and question bank.

Let your client direct YOU on how much to 'say' or direct them. Present all you've got to the client; let them decide what's useful and what isn't. Don't cheat them because you're afraid of sharing your opinion or being 'too directive.'. (That said, sometimes we go too far where we push our opinion on our clients. There is an art (and a lot of personal development work) to share an opinion cleanly without laying your trip on the client. It's a wonderful communication/relating skill to be fluent with.)


Reduce your legal liability risk by presenting options vs making firm recommendations. Whenever a client asks for my advice, I first find out where they are coming from and why they want it. (Important first step so you can determine if they're going to be a blind follower or just someone being intelligent by gathering information/researching options.) Then, I try to give at least 3 options as I see them and explain some of the pros and cons of each. I rarely give recommendations unless I've been working with the client for more than a year and I'm reasonably certain that they have their own mind/opinions/views. I used to come across as 'the know it all.' I let that one go several years ago and now I just share my views/opinions/ideas and let the client do what they want with them. Part of what we do as coaches is to expand our client's world and by presenting fresh options and strategies, we add value. I hope that this was helpful... Thomas copyright 2001 by coachville.com. written by thomas j. leonard. all rights reserved. coachville member use only. no distribution.


Lesson #4 What do you do when the client just isn't making progress on their goals?


Let's just say that it's not all that unusual for clients to stop making progress on their goals... Here are several approaches that can work well..

Instead of pushing harder, take the pressure off and find out why the client isn't making progress And don't accept the first thing the client says. Press for honesty. Press until YOU can get it. Believe it or not, this type of questioning/pressing/evoking IS coaching because it helps the client find out important stuff about themselves and their dynamics. There is ALWAYS a 'real' reason that the client isn't moving forward at the pace they or you expected.

Double or triple the support structure If you're only chatting once a week, double it to 2x. Or put the client on IM (instant messenger) so you can support them between calls. Or, overrespond to the problem that a single client is having by offering an Integrity Day type support evening for all clients to participate in.

Change the goal No, this is not sacraligeous nor does it mean that the client or coach has failed. It just means that the goal probably isn't the best one for right now. So, either pick a totally different goal, or tweak the current one so that IMMEDIATE results are made (like within a day or two of the coaching session). If the client still can't make progress, then something else is going on (see next strategy).

Abandon all goals, promises, expectations My best guess is that 20% of the popular just are not built to set/have goals because they react to them, suffer from performance anxiety, get stuck in pseudo parental push/pull cycles with their coach (you can't make me!, etc.) and so forth. Yet, most clients feel like they should have goals in order to work with a coach. So, part of what the coach can do at the beginning of the coaching relationship is to have a brief conversation about how well the client works with goals. It's perfectly acceptable, if not delightful, for the client to have no specific goals/objectives/accountability with their coach. Instead, the coach and client have very productive/expanding conversations each week. And, more often than not, result occur as a byproduct. Wonderful.

Connect the goal to a personal value Goals seem to be easier to reach when they are an 'expression' of


ourselves, meaning an expression of our values. One trick to use with a client is to ask them to make a list of the 5 most important things to them in life itself (aka values, like beauty, discovery, happiness, creativity, love, etc.). Then ask them to make a list of the top 5 goals they have for themselves. And then ask/help the client to connect one goal to one value. Helps to true/align the goals and values. If they find a value without a corresponding goal, then it's time for to add a goal. If they find a goal without a value, it's usually a good idea to tweak/change that goal so that it DOES express one of their values. This is a great calibration technique.

Focus on things other than goals Personal foundation, skills training, personal evolution, sounding board discussions, situational advice, and conceptual discussion are all part of the coaching menu of services and foci. gain, most client feel that they have 'accomplish a specific result' in order to 'justify' coaching and the coaching fee. It's simply not true. Make sure your potential and current clients understand this. I hope that this was helpful... If you have an item or two to add to the list above, please email it to me at [email protected] with HTCA #04 in the subject line. Thanks! Thomas copyright 2001 by coachville.com. written by thomas j. leonard. all rights reserved. coachville member use only. no distribution.


Lesson #5 How do you respond to the client who just isn't getting what you're saying?


If you've been coaching for more than a month, you've probably already experienced one of these client/coach communication scenarios...

You say X. The client hears Y. Something completely different than what you said. Here's something that you can say/ask:

Hmm, I said X, but it sounds like you heard Y? Do they appear similar to you?

Interesting, what's the connection you're making between X and Y?

You say X. The client hears zero. Nothing landed. They weren't listening or couldn't hear what you said. Here's something that you can say/ask:

Hmm, did you just change subject? Would you like me to rephrase what I just said?

You say X. The client hears X/2.

The client hears half of what you said but thinks they heard all of what you said. Here's something that you can say/ask:

Yes, excellent. And let me share the rest of it with you... Excellent. Your more than halfway there...

You say X. The client hears XYZ.

They heard what you said, but they added/appended stuff they know/believe that they think makes X even better, but it, in fact, dilutes X. Here's something that you can say/ask:

You've added to what I said but I think you'll find it more powerful by itself.

Do you always add thing to what people say?

You say X. The client hears x (small x). They hear what you said, but don't get the significance of it. Here's something that you can say/ask:

Yes, you got it. And, it may be more significant than you're thinking it is....

Yes, multiply what you heard by 10 and I believe that you'll see the significance of this.

You say X. The client hears 10. Different language. (X meaning latin for 10, as in roman numeral on a


clock) Here's something that you can say/ask: I think you've converted what I said into a different language... Let me rephrase that (and then rephrase in the client's

language/reference points)

You say X. The client hears X minus 10 years. They heard something like X 10 years ago, so they assume what you're saying is what they heard 10 years ago. Here's something that you can say/ask:

Yes, you've got the idea. But I want to modernize it with you. Yes, that's correct. But circa 1990. How can you tweak your

thinking in this area to make it present day?

You say X. The client hears YXY. They heard X, but they surrounded/wrap it with stuff they are more familiar/comfortable with (Y's), like an Oreo cookie. Here's something that you can say/ask:

Yes, you've got the core of it for sure. But it sounds like you wrapped it with other stuff. Did you?

If you wrap it like that, X loses its power.

You say X. The client hears X10. Meaning X to the 10th power, meaning that they are adding a lot more meaning/power to what you said than you intended. Here's something that you can say/ask:

Whoa. I don't think that X is THAT significant. Why do you? It's a lot simpler than that, I think...

You say X. The client hears the square root of X.

This is actually good. It means the client heard what you said and they have broken it down to it's core/essence so that it can be integrated more easily into their life. Here's something that you can say/ask:

Perfect. You've taken it down to it's essence. Now, what do you want to do with it....? I hope that this was helpful... If you have more versions of "X" to share, please email it to me at [email protected] with HTCA #05 in the subject line and I'll include it in the list above. I have a feeling that there are more ways that clients are hearing/not hearing us. Thanks! Thomas copyright 2001 by coachville.com. written by thomas j. leonard. all rights reserved. coachville member use only. no distribution.


Lesson #6 How do you coach a client whose goal is a pipe dream? past issues | coachville.com

Some clients live in a fantasy world. What's a coach to do?

First off, there is nothing wrong with chasing pipe dreams. I've done it; most people have. So, don't assume you need to protect that client from themselves or their wild goals. Clients are adults; they can make their own decisions. And, pipe dream chasing can be fun, quite entertaining, evolutionary and quite catalyzing. In my view, pipe dreams have a place in a healthy life.

And, who's to say that their goal really is a pipedream. Some of our clients are a lot smarter than we are so their intellectual or creative reach is greater. So, what may appear to you to be a pipedream, is to them, something quite big, but doable. Before dismissing a grand goal or project as a pipe dream, take the time learn about it from your client. And find out why it compels them enough to invest in it.

That said, most pipe dreams are a set up for failure. That's why they are pipedreams. The dictionary defines a pipe dream as "A fantastic notion or vain hope." The public is bombarded with sexy images and money making schemes, change the world notions and all sorts of fantastic opportunities. Most of which make money for the promoters/advertisers but not much for those glassy eyed buyers and believers. They are selling hope and people are buying hope. Hope is one of the most purchased commodities in the world. It just come packaged in many different wrappers so you don't see it for what it really is.

How do you coach a client with a pipe dream? Here's how I handle clients with pipedreams

1. Ask questions so you can learn more about their goal/pipedream, and the motivation behind it. But make sure you are genuine/caring vs doubtful in your tone. Be interested. Usually, with the right questions, the client will see the futility of the pipe dream and move on to more productive work with you. Here are some of the questions that I find that work... Client: I want to make $1mm from Amway and then retire. In the next 3


years. Coach (possible questions to pose...)

What drug are you on? (just kidding) Did you just come back from an Amway conference? Help me understand how the numbers work... Who can you connect with who has done this? What are the changes you'll be wanting to make in order to

achieve this on time? How would you like me to help you to do that? How does this goal fit in with your other goals? Why is $1mm so important to you? (key question) If there is a Single Daily Action to take every day between now

and 3 years from now, what would it be? And, just in case, what's your Plan B? How did you select Amway as your vehicle?

2. Ask the client to restructure or replace the goal so that you can feel good about coaching them on it.

Bob, there are other, less stressful ways to earn $1mm. Can we brainstorm for a bit?

Bob, how about we take a look at your budget and see if we can find a way for you to retire soon, but without having to go the Amway route.

Bob, 1 person in a million can reach that goal that quickly. Why not just play the lottery instead and save yourself the grief?

Bob, I don't want to seem negative but I've seen nothing that tells me that you have the type of personality that it takes to build that type of organization/downline.

Bob, nobody who loves what they do wants to retire anymore. Bob, when clients come to me with really big goals like this one, I

applaud them for being so entrepreneurial. It that type of going for it, that makes our country great. And, I have a policy, that when the goal is that big, that we always include a concurrently run Plan B. Are you willing to work that way with me?

3. Decline to work on this goal with the client. Bob, I love aggressive goals, but I'm not sure I can be much help

to you on this one. I don't have enough experience in network marketing.

Bob, I'm just not comfortable with the network marketing thing. I've seen too many people fail at this and I don't think I would do well with that degree of stress.

Bob, I'm not the coach for this type of goal, but I know a great Amway coach that I want to introduce you to, okay?

Bob, I have a policy of not coaching clients on certain types of goal and network marketing is one of them. I hope that this was helpful... Thomas


Lesson #07 How do you coach a client who is having truly amazing results? past issues | coachville.com

Too much of a good thing? Hardly. But there is work to be done, especially with the most successful clients...

It's not unusual that a client will have 'spontaneous' results when working with a coach, even after just a couple of sessions... This is often because of the support the client feels from you; and/or perhaps you've said something or helped them reframe a situation which then rockets them forward. Some clients are just poised for success when they hire a coach; all you're doing at first is just releasing the lid on their jack in the box.

Sometimes, those spontaneous results expand to be significant wins for the client... And this is where your work begins. Why? Because clients (well, people, really) get pretty darn excited when things start popping, whether it's a series of new business contracts, or a better relationship with their kids, or a series of personal wins. The euphoria carries the client forward and up. And, typically, they get ahead of themselves and stop paying attention to what they were doing that helped them get these spontaneous results.

Success is usually a cycle or spiral anyway, so the euphoria isn't something to be that worried about... But it is something to be aware of and to know what to do about. Especially if you want to help the client to develop this good news into being sustained good news. Meaning to help the client to make what was their ceiling, their new floor. This takes some doing.

Here are 4 things you can do when the client is flying high. Ask the client to strengthen their integrity/foundation.

Just as the builders of a skyscraper need to dig deeper than the builders of your home did in order to provide a stable enough base to handle the weight/stress of something too tall/heavy. The client will likely know what you mean when you pose the question.

Ask the client to talk through the events and good news. Success IS stressful and conversations can help the client embrace that success without getting overwhelmed or even sabotaging it. Just listen, celebrate with them. And broach the subject of stress/sabotage if you feel it would help the client.

Ask the client to go deeper with the relationships related to their


success. For example if a coach gets 5 new clients in a week, which is a big deal, work with the coach to spend more time with each of those 5 new clients during the first 3 weeks of their contract. Why? Because when someone gets 'busy' with good news, it shows up in their voice and clients can hear it. And it affects them; they don't feel as special. You may not believe me, but I've seen this happen enough times that I believe it to be true. And it's true with coaches and their clients, or sales reps and new customers, or entrepreneurs who just closed a big deal. The key is to reinforce the good news with more time with the players/source of that good news.

Ask the clients to shore up their admin systems to handle the good news. This applies to business clients, of course, but the idea can work with any client. We all need systems, service response plans, etc. And success will burden these if they aren't upgraded. Just ask any dot com.

You might want to consider suggesting the client stop accepting new business/big deals until they've digested the recent wins they've had. Most clients won't do this, but it does plant a seed idea in their head that sustained success is richer than a temporary high. And the way to turn temporary highs into permanent ones is to strengthen the base and related suggestions described above. I hope that this was helpful... Thomas copyright 2001 by coachville.com. written by thomas j. leonard. all rights reserved. coachville member use only. no distribution.


How do you coach a friend without messing up the friendship?

I've heard it both ways: Stories of coaches who coach friends well/easily and stories of coaches who have lost friends because they were 'too honest' with them.

Yes, you can coach friends. And, there is a risk... ...of losing that friendship. Why? Because, as supportive as friends are to each other, the bottom line is that friends pretty much like each other the way they are and don't want to rock the boat too much for either person, even though friends 'want the best' for each other.

Coaches needs freedom to be entirely honest... And the "friendship dynamic" affects that level of freedom to be entirely honest. It just does. Because there are multiple loyalties in friendship. But as a coach there is only one, and that is to the client.

That said, I have successfully coached clients... What I did was to make a decision that the person was more important to me as a friend for a lifetime than a client for a year. My priorities were crystal clear. And I told them this upfront. So they knew. This reduced the fear factor for me, given the honest/complete communication upfront.

And, I don't 'push' my friend-clients as much as I would push my non-friend-clients. I'm fairly pushy/opinionated as a coach and my clients hire me for that. But I hold back with my friends who I coach, and I tell them this. You might not agree with this approach, but it's one that works for me, just as you'll need to develop the approach and 'policy' that works for you and your friends.

I/we would decide in advance which areas I wouldn't get into. That's different than with non-friend clients. With non-friend clients, I need, and get, permission to talk about anything or go anywhere. That's how I coach.

With friends, I don't recommend that you do the accountability thing. Some coaches offer accountability as one of the service offerings because some clients really want this from their coach. (It's fading in terms of popularity as a professional services menu item, given it's a fairly remedial form of coaching, although there is still a market for this item.) But I don't


recommend you get into this role with friends. I prefer casual, but effective, coaching sessions with friends. But not with an accountability focus. Too parental. Too confusing with friends.

Design an agreement to end the coaching when either of you feels uncomfortable with the coaching. Let's face it. All coaching comes to an end at some point. The question his how will it happen. Clean, or messy. Design an exit strategy in order to protect your friendship.

The real point here, though, is... That everyone's a coach. And we're coaching all day long to client, vendor, family members and friends. We just are. Everyone is. They just haven't called it coaching. So, it's less a matter of 'should I coach a friend or not, and more of a matter of how can we structure our conversations so that our friendship is protected. Or, better yet, well-served. I hope that this was helpful... Thomas copyright 2001 by coachville.com. written by thomas j. leonard. all rights reserved. coachville member use only. no distribution.


What do you do when you get your first 'real' client? past issues | coachville.com

Besides celebrating. Besides feeling validated. And besides panicking.

First, congratulations! ...You'll always remember for your first client...And it's a wonderful feeling. Now, here's what you can do to to make the most of this opportunity...

Set the first two appointments. The first appointment should, in my view, be a getting to know each other appointment. This before you actually start 'working' directly on the goals or problem. Specifically, spend 45 minutes to an hour working through these items:

Talking about the goal(s) the client wants to focus on. Get to know the goal/situation/problem/dream better, and help the client to get to know it better as well. Don't accept goals at face value. Goals almost always need 'work' to make them sing/zing and become sustainable inspiring to the client.

Ask the client to help you design the intake packet for them to receive. Some clients love checklists and forms and assessments. Others don't like them or they are overwhelmed by paperwork. Treat each client uniquely.

Ask the client to tell you how they would like to design their relationship with you. Which is not just a matter of how often the sessions will be, but the various roles and types/degree of input the client will want from you. Every client is different. This process bonds both of you.

Work out the automatic billing of their coaching fee by credit card. Coaches who have their clients on automatic recurring billing have a significantly higher retention rate. Why? Because every time the client has to write a check each month, they have to ask themselves, "Is this worth $400?" By auto billing them, they don't experience this monthly hiccup.

Work out who calls whom, what happens if client (or coach) misses


a call and how long the client is committing to work with the coach.

Find out at least 5 things the client does NOT want you to do with or to them. These can be areas of focus, questions asked or relating style issues (being too pushy, or not enough, etc.)

Set the date of the next appointment, and help the client decide what they want to accomplish between now and their next appointment. Nudge a bit for something doable but significant. And ask them what they want to focus on in the next appointment. Help them set the agenda for next time now, not then. Given you've worked out the agenda/focus of the second appointment, the second appoint is going to be a breeze..

Finally, if the client wants to take the Clean Sweep assessment or any other assessments... Set up a due date for these and follow through. How you 'handle' the client in the first several sessions sets the tone for the power in the relationship. Make sure they are doing what you both agreed to. I hope that this was helpful... Thomas copyright 2001 by coachville.com. written by thomas j. leonard. all rights reserved. coachville member use only. no distribution.


Lesson #10 How do you coach an entrepreneur with a zillion balls in the air? past issues | coachville.com

Note: Entrepreneurs are jugglers by nature. Short of gene therapy, they are not going to change...

Tip: Come to understand your entrepreneur clients... ...It's likely that they operate with a different set of rules that you do. If you try to lay your trip on them, they'll let you go..

Dynamic: Their push/pull relationship with 'focus.' Entrepreneurs KNOW they should focus vs juggle. But for many entrepreneurs the word focus is synonymous with the words prison, trapped, limited, boring, end-of-life-as-I-know it. Checklists and management and people development is generally not that appealing to entrepreneurs. They usually have to outsource this to others/key staff or to other firms to handle.

Entrepreneurs usually need more support than direction. Entrepreneurs are like kings and queens of their kingdoms. They know how they want to run things. You are one of the subjects. (I am exaggerating, for effect.) What they usually want from you is about 80% support/encouragement/agreement and about 20% direction. Don't presume to give direction until they feel heard/supported.

And, throughout the relationship, entrepreneurs like to be stimulated. They crave stimulation. So, whether it's a question that catches their attention, or a comment/observation about them or their business/idea, or a big, big request you make of them. Think big. Entrepreneurs like the challenge. Too small or too niggly and you'll bore them.

Entrepreneurs want/need to be listened to. A lot. Of all of your client types, the entrepreneur most needs to be heard. They want their ideas to be heard, their stresses, their good/great news, their specialness. It's a craving, it's a need, it's just part of the entrepreneur dynamic. (And, likely their spouse is way tired of doing this. Enter the coach.) You can add considerable value as a coach just by celebrating and commiserating with your entrepreneur clients. They need this and often their coach is the only guaranteed source for this. Don't deny it to them because you think 'other things need to be addressed.' Yes, they probably do, but first things first, which is listening.

Entrepreneurs run in cycles; balance isn't that appealing to them. Let them run in cycles. Enjoy the ride. You'll learn something...


Entrepreneurs need backend, delivery/completion people.

Entrepreneurs are idea people. They start stuff. They don't always finish stuff or dot the i's or cross the t's. They need detail/delivery people but they don't usually work well with this type of person. One thing you can do is to press them to find this type of solution. The current trend is outsourcing to COMPANIES, not just individuals. This reduces the hiring/management problem that entrepreneurs usually won't deal well with.

There ARE times to push. Entrepreneurs do get carried way. If so, say so. Entrepreneurs CAN learn how to manage people. Find out where they are along this path, interest wise, to learn new skills. Entrepreneurs WANT you to have an opinion, even if they ignore it. (In many cases, you'll say something important and the entrepreneur will ignore/dismiss it, and then two week's later they're doing exactly what you suggested. Happens all the time. That's just how they work. Don't take it personally.)

Charge enough for your entrepreneurs to take themselves seriously. Entrepreneurs are often empowered by a reasonably high coaching fee. Builds their self esteem. (Really!) Just make sure you challenge them enough or you'll lose 'em. Key point

Final point: Don't argue with/fight your entrepreneur clients. Not that you'd argue with any client, but it can be tempting to do this with an entrepreneur client. Push, nudge, cajole, challenge but don't fight/argue with them. You may be correct/right but they'll let you go. I hope that this was helpful... Thomas copyright 2001 by coachville.com. written by thomas j. leonard. all rights reserved. coachville member use only. no distribution.


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