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©2018 The Nemours Foundation/KidsHealth® and the Michael Phelps Foundation. All rights reserved.

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Taking care of your mind is just as important as taking care of your body. They work as one. Both need your attention to stay strong and healthy.

Talk to the adults in your life — and not just when you have a problem. Talk to them even when things are going fine. Let them understand your life, so they can be there for you in good times and bad.

One thing that has really worked for me is saying positive things to myself. Use the power of your thoughts wisely — to help you be your best!

People might think swimming is so easy for me that I hardly have to try. But gold medals and all, I still try my best at every event. Doing my personal best is always a goal — and a great challenge for me to give myself.

Ask for help whenever you need it. Don’t ever think you should do it all alone. Don’t be afraid of what someone might think. We’re all here to help each other.

Find ways to help others. Teach a younger kid what you know. Do a favor or a kind act. Help out at home, at school, or in your community. You get so much positive energy back when you help.

Breathing is a great way to calm yourself and get focused when you face a challenge. If you practice slow, deep breathing regularly, you’ll feel more confident, relaxed, and ready for whatever happens.

You learn from every success — and every failure. It’s all a chance to grow and learn. If you are afraid to fail, or think you have to be perfect, you hold yourself back from trying things that could help you succeed.

Tips From Michael Phelps

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All feelings are normal.

• Positive feelings help us enjoy life and do things well.

• Difficult feelings help us know when something’s wrong.

Talking about feelings is good. It helps us:

• know ourselves

• be close to people

• get along well

• get through bad times

• be happier

It’s easy to talk about feelings if we:

• notice how we feel

• know words to use

• practice talking about our feelings

Lesson 1: Talk About Feelings - Feeling Words 1. Read the list of feeling words. See how many you know. See which

ones are new to you. Can you think of other feeling words? Write them in the blank spaces.

2. Use one color to circle positive feelings. Use another color to circle difficult feelings.

happy

scared

upset

sad

glad

proud

worried

delighted

helpful

supported

excited

loved

calm

brave

playful

thankful

angry

confused

silly

embarrassed

stressed

joyful

restless

bored

interested

curious

alert

mad

friendly

shy

irritated

annoyed

ashamed

hurt

inspired

sorry

depressed

blue

grumpy

puzzled

discouraged

hopeful

disappointed

lonely

grief

creative

guilty

alone

surprised

amazed

relieved

peaceful

energetic

patient

kind

caring

confident

stressed

patient

helpful

FEELING WORDS

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1. When a friend asks me to play, I feel

2. When I get a good grade on my math test, I feel

3. When I try out for the talent show, I feel

4. When I tell myself, “I can do this,” I feel

5. When I lose a game, I feel

6. When I get picked for the team, I feel

7. When kids won’t let me play, I feel

8. If there is no one to sit with at lunch, I feel

9. When someone says mean words, I feel

10. If I didn’t get what I wanted, I feel

For each sentence, pick a word that tells how you feel. There’s no right or wrong answer, just focus on how you feel.

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happy

glad

friendly

excited

scared

nervous

sorry

relieved

sad

mad

upset

unhappy

grumpy

hurt

confident

proud

lonely

brave

annoyed

afraid

calm

left out

bored

disappointed

jealous

Lesson 1: Talk About Feelings - How I Feel

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Fill in the blanks. Write an example of what might make you feel this way:

1. I feel proud of myself when

2. I feel scared when

3. I feel relaxed when

4. I feel happy when

5. I feel sad when

6. I feel nervous when

7. I feel left out when

8. I feel mad when

9. I feel upset when

10. I feel excited when

.

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.

.

.

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.

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.

(Lesson 1: Talk About Feelings - How I Feel, continued)

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Lesson 1: Talk About Feelings

This is the first of eight lessons that focus on emotional health. This one teaches kids to talk about feelings. We’ll have kids brainstorm a big list of feeling words. We’ll teach that:

• There are positive feelings (such as: glad, excited, calm) and difficult feelings (such as: upset, angry, jealous, scared).

• All feelings are normal, as long as we show them in healthy ways.

• Talking about feelings is good for us. It helps us:

• know ourselves

• be close to others

• get along better

• solve problems

• Sometimes it’s better to put feelings into words instead of actions.

• Being able to put feelings into words is a foundation for other emotional skills, like empathy, self-control, and resilience.

• When kids say how they feel and someone listens with support, kids are more ready to learn.

Learning Goals

• Know words for feelings.

• Know how you feel.

• It’s good to put feelings in words.

• All feelings are normal, as long as we show them in healthy ways.

Print Out Before ClassBring copies for everyone:

• How I Feel handout

• Feeling Words handout

• Tips From Michael Phelps handout

Other Materials

• Flipchart or whiteboard and markers

• Markers or pens for students

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1. Know words for feelings.

Instructor: All italicized text is intended as notes to teachers. All other text may be read out loud to your class.

Today, we’ll talk about feelings.

To start, we need to know some words for our feelings.

Let’s brainstorm to see how many feelings we can name. Raise your hand to call out the name of a feeling. I’ll write them all down. Who can start?

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Take It Home!

Ask kids to use handouts at home to practice putting feelings into words. Invite them to talk about feelings with a parent. Invite them to teach a parent what they learned about their feelings.

Resources

KidsHealth:

• Talking About Your Feelings

• Talking to Your Parents

• 5 Ways to Know Your Feelings Better

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(Lesson 1: Talk About Feelings, continued)

Invite kids to raise their hands and say the names of feelings as you write them on the board. Have them brainstorm at least 10-12 feeling words, including some positive feelings (happy, excited, proud, calm) and some difficult feelings (sad, mad, lonely, upset).

Use a whiteboard, chalkboard, or flipchart to write what kids say.

Let’s look at our list.

What are some of the positive feelings on this list? Which feelings do you like to have?

Let them point out a few of the positive feelings on the list. Circle them.

Most people like to feel happy, excited, joyful, brave, proud, and playful. And it’s nice to feel calm, relaxed, or curious. These positive feelings help us enjoy life and do well.

But some feelings are more difficult. What are some of the feelings on this list that are more difficult?

Let them point out some of the difficult feelings on the list. Circle them in a different color.

It’s harder when we feel sad, upset, or mad. Or scared, afraid, nervous, or stressed. Or lonely or disappointed. Most people don’t like having feelings like these.

But difficult feelings are part of life too. And they actually help us. They let us know when something’s wrong. They get us to notice a problem. They alert us to something we need to work out or something we need help with.

All feelings are normal, as long as we show them in healthy ways. One healthy way to show feelings is to talk about them. But before we can talk about them, we have to know how we are feeling.

2. Know how you feel.

When you know plenty of feeling words, the next step is to know how you feel. Sometimes it’s easy to know how you feel. Other times you might not know right away. If that happens, just notice your feeling. Think of the word that matches how you feel.

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Recognizing how you feel helps you know what you need or want. It helps you know what you like and don’t like. You can understand yourself better when you know your feelings.

After you know how you feel and you know the words for the feelings, you can talk about feelings with someone else.

3. It’s good to talk about feelings.

If you haven’t had practice, talking about feelings might seem awkward at first. It gets easy if you practice.

Talking about feelings is good for us. It lets other people understand us. It helps us be close to people and get along well.

If we talk about difficult feelings, we can get through bad times and feel better again.

If we talk about good feelings, we can feel even happier.

We don’t have to put every feeling into words. But some feelings are important to share.

4. It’s good to show feelings in healthy ways.

Sometimes, we show our feelings in actions:

• If you feel happy or excited, you might jump for joy!

• If you feel loving, you might give a hug.

• When you feel friendly, you might smile and wave.

• When you feel sad, you might sit quietly with a sad face — or even cry a few tears.

• If you feel determined and confident, you might put it into action by playing your best game ever!

It’s OK to show how you feel. But sometimes it’s best to put feelings into words instead of actions. For example, what if you feel upset, angry, or jealous? If you use actions to show these feelings, it can lead to trouble or hurt. This is when using words instead of actions is better.

Sometimes it’s better to talk about how we feel than to act on how we feel. To do this takes some self-control. It’s not always easy. It’s something to practice.

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5. Let’s try it.

Pass out the How I Feel handout and pens or markers.

Let’s do an activity on your handout to practice putting feelings into words.

Read the instructions on the handout out loud.

Give time for kids to do at least a few of the sentences.

Let’s take turns reading some of them. Who can start? Who can read the first one and say how you might feel?

Have a few kids read sentences. If kids are reluctant to read, you can read some of the sentences and have kids raise their hands to call out answers.

If there’s time, keep going with the second part of the handout.

6. What have we learned?

• There are many different feelings — positive ones and difficult ones.

• They’re all normal, as long as we show them in healthy ways.

• Talking about feelings is good for us. It helps us:

• know ourselves

• be close to others

• get along well

• get through bad times

• be happier

• To talk about feelings, we need to notice how we feel and know the words to use. You don’t have to talk about every single feeling you have! But you can practice putting feelings into words to get good at it. That way, when you need to talk about a feeling that’s bothering you, you’ll be ready.

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7. Take the next step.

Pass out two more handouts —Feeling Words and Tips From Michael Phelps — for kids to take home.

You can finish the How I Feel handout (we just worked on) at home. You can show it to a parent and talk about it.

And here are two more handouts for you to take home. One will remind you of what we learned today. It also has a word circle game you can do at home. You can do this game at home with your mom, dad, or grandparent. You can tell them what you learned today.

Michael Phelps thinks that it’s good to talk about feelings. This last handout has advice from Michael to help you feel strong and confident.

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Write the title of your picture:

Write how you felt and why:

I felt because

Feel the good feeling again as you think back to it.

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Lesson 2: Find Three Good Things - Draw One Good Thing

Draw and color a good thing that happened.

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Kyle’s Day

Kyle is a 5th grader. It’s a school day. He wakes up, takes a big morning stretch, and

gets dressed in his favorite pants and shirt. He grabs his backpack, and heads out.

It’s a nice day and the sunshine feels good. On his way to school, a friend waves at

him and says hi. They sit together on the bus ride to school, talking and laughing.

Kyle’s school day goes along in the usual way. He has math, reading, and gym. The

gym teacher lets him be a team captain for a game. He gets his spelling test back and

sees that he did really well.

The day goes fast. Soon it’s time to get in line for the bus home. Kyle checks his

backpack to make sure he’s got what he needs for homework. Oh, no! Where is the

paper for tonight’s writing assignment? Kyle remembers he had it on his desk. Maybe

he forgot to pack it. He starts to feel a little stressed. He thinks about what to do next.

When he gets home, his mom says, “Hi, Kyle, how was your day?” Kyle says, “Not

good! I couldn’t find my homework paper anywhere. I had to run back to my classroom

and get it from my desk. I almost missed the bus home! It was SO stressful!”

Lesson 2: Find Three Good Things - Kyle’s Story

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Good things happen every day. (Yes, they really do!). But sometimes we hardly notice them. We pay much more attention to problems and things that go wrong. Of course, problems need our attention so we can work them out.

But paying too much attention to problems isn’t good for us. It can:

• make us see problems everywhere we look

• make us complain a lot

• put us in a bad mood

• take away from our happiness

To be sure this doesn’t happen, we can pay extra attention to good things.

A good thing can be:

• anything good that happens

• something that goes well for you

• something fun or nice

• something kind or helpful or friendly

• anything you feel good about

Try to find at least three good things about each day. Noticing lots of good things helps us:

• be happier

• get through tough times

• do our best

• see more good things about ourselves and others!

fun

glad

Silly funny

playful

helpfulnice

friend

proud

Lesson 2: Find Three Good Things - Notice What’s Good

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Pick someone in your life who means a lot to you. Maybe it’s a parent or grandparent. Maybe it’s a teacher or a friend. Write a thank you note to that person. Thank them for something nice they’ve done. Tell them why you are glad to have them in your life.

Here is a sample thank you note:

D ea r G ra n d m a ,

Th a n k s fo r t a k i n g c a re o f m e a f ter s ch o o l o n M o n d a y s . I l i ke w h e n yo u m a ke m y fa v o r i te c o o k i e s a n d w h e n yo u rea d to m e . Y o u h e l p m e w i t h h o m e w o r k . A l s o , yo u r h u g s a re t h e b e s t . To d a y I a m c o u n t i n g t h e g o o d t h i n g s i n m y l i fe a n d yo u a re o n e o f t h e m !

L o v e , M i c h a e l

Now write your own thank you note. Color it and give it to the person

,

thank you for being in my life!

Dear

Lesson 2: Find Three Good Things - Thank You Note

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Lesson 2: Find Three Good Things

Problems grab our full attention, while we take good things for granted. But if we focus TOO much on problems, we start to see them everywhere we look. This can make us feel grumpy and unhappy. In this lesson, we’ll teach kids to pay extra attention to good things in their day.

• It’s normal to pay more attention to problems — they grab our attention so we can take care of them.

• But seeing ONLY what’s wrong can lead to negative thinking. When that happens, students may become self-critical, discouraged, and unhappy. This can lead to depression.

• Paying extra attention to things that go well builds positive emotions and resilience.

1. How’s your day going?


Give the handout Kyle’s Day and a marker or pen to each student. Have a copy of the handout for yourself.

Today we’re going to talk about things that happen in our day.

I’m going to read what’s on the handout. It tells about Kyle’s day. You can read along, or just listen as I read it to you.

Read the handout.

Raise your hand if you’ve ever had a day like this.

Show of hands.

Yes, we all have!

Learning Goals

• Paying attention to problems can help you work them out.

• If we notice only problems, it can hurt our mood.

• Paying extra attention to good things helps us feel good and do well.


• Kyle’s Day handout

• Notice What’s Good handout

• Thank You Note handout

• Draw One Good Thing handout


Have a copy for yourself:

• Kyle’s Day handout

Other Materials

• Pencils, pens, or markers for students

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Take It Home!

At the end of the lesson, ask kids to pay extra attention to good things. Invite them to tell a parent what they learned.

Today, kids will take home two handouts: A Thank You Note and Draw One Good Thing. Two others, Kyle’s Story and Tips From Michael Phelps, will remind them of what they are learning.

Resources

KidsHealth:

• The Power of Positive Emotions

• 3 Ways to Increase Positive Emotions

• Gratitude

• Optimism

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(Lesson 2: Find Three Good Things, continued)

By the time Kyle gets home, does he think he had a good day or a bad day? What does he tell his mom about — a good part of his day or a problem?

Let them answer.

Right, Kyle said his day was ”not good”! He told his mom all about what went wrong. I can understand that. I’m glad he told his mom how he felt and why.

But I hope he will also tell his mom about what went well for him today. Did anybody notice that there were plenty of good things about Kyle’s day too?

Let’s look again Kyle’s story. As you read it to yourself this time, look for the good things that happened in his day. Underline them.

Let them work on this — then ask:

Tell me some of the good things you spotted in Kyle’s day?

Let them answer.

Yes, there were lots more good things than problems. If Kyle had thought about those things too, he might have said he had a pretty good day — except for one problem. And Kyle solved the problem. That’s another good thing!

2. Good things happen every day.

But sometimes we hardly notice the good things. We pay much more attention to things that go wrong.

Problems have a way of grabbing our full attention. When something’s wrong, you want to give it the attention it needs so you can work it out.

But if we pay TOO MUCH attention to problems, without noticing the good, we start to see problems everywhere we look. This isn’t good for us. It can:

• make us complain a lot

• put us in a bad mood

• take away from our happiness

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We can make sure this doesn’t happen. If we pay extra attention to good things, we can balance out the attention we give to problems. An easy way to do this is to find at least three good things about each day.

3. Let’s try it.

Noticing good things is healthy for us. If we make a plan to notice good things every day, we can build it into a habit.

Think back over today. Can you think of a good thing that was part of your day so far?

A good thing can be anything good that happened, something you’re happy about, or something that went well for you. It can be something fun, or nice. Maybe someone was kind, or helpful, or friendly. It can be anything you feel good about.

Can everybody think of one good thing?

Now, think back to that good part of your day as if it’s happening right now. Think back to how you felt in that good moment.

Can you feel a little of that good feeling again, just by thinking about it? When we think back to good things, we have more good feelings.

Noticing good things helps us be happier. It makes us better at solving problems when they do happen. Noticing good things helps us get through tough times. It helps us do our best at things we try.

When we start to really notice the good things, we see more of them everywhere. We start to notice more of the good things about people in our lives. And we start to notice more good things about ourselves too.


• When problems happen, they grab our attention. That happens because we need to pay attention to problems so we can solve them.

• If we focus TOO MUCH on problems, we start to see ONLY what’s wrong. This can make us grumpy, sad, or unhappy.

• We can look for good things to balance out the attention we need to give to problems.

• Noticing good things boosts our happiness and makes us better problem-solvers.

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Give students the additional handouts: Notice What’s Good, Thank You Note, and Tips From Michael Phelps. Kids might also like to Draw One Good Thing.

The next step is to pay extra attention to good things that happen. I’m giving you some handouts to take home. If you want, you can show the handouts to your mom, dad, or a grandparent. Teach them what we learned.

The handouts will remind you of what we learned today, and help you notice good things in your life.

Use the Thank You Note to tell someone you’re glad to have them your life.

Use the Draw One Good Thing page to make a picture that shows something good that happened and how you felt.

Michael Phelps believes in noticing the good things in life. The last handout has advice from Michael to help you feel strong and confident.

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Lesson 3: Take Four Calm Breaths

In an earlier lesson (im healthy ‘Stress’) we taught that taking a deep breath is a way to ease stress. Today, we’ll teach kids to use their fingers to count four slow, mindful breaths. We’ll invite kids to notice more about their breath. Breathing changes with activity and emotions. We can use calm breathing to calm the mind.

• In a difficult moment, taking a deep breath and letting it out can help us feel calm. It lets us pause to think before acting or prepare for a challenge.

• When mindful breathing skills are practiced regularly, they can:

• reduce worry

• increase confidence

• regulate difficult emotions

• increase self-control

• improve attention

• build resilience

1. Our breathing tells us how we are feeling.


Breathing happens so naturally, we don’t even have to think about it. It’s part of being alive.

You’ve probably noticed that your breathing changes depending on what you’re doing. If you’re running around or swimming your fastest, you breathe faster too.

Learning Goals

• A calm breath is a slow, easy breath that feels relaxing.

• Take calm breaths on purpose to calm your mind and emotions.

• Practice calm breaths so they become a habit.

• Learn to finger-count four calm breaths.


• Finger-Count Breathing handout


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Take It Home!

Kids will take the Finger-Count Breathing handout home. We’ll encourage kids to practice this breathing skill often — anytime they want. This makes it more likely they’ll use this skill well when they need it most.

Resources

KidsHealth:

• Relaxation Exercises: Breathing Basics

• Yoga: Meditation and Breathing

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(Lesson 3: Take Four Calm Breaths, continued)

When you stop and rest, your breathing slows down again. As your body relaxes, so does your breathing.

Raise your hand if you’ve noticed this about your breathing.

Show of hands.

Have you also noticed that your breathing changes depending on how you’re feeling? If you’re calm and relaxed, your breathing is slow and easy. If you’re stressed or nervous, your breathing is faster.

You might even hold your breath if you feel tense, scared, or mad.

When you start to feel better, your breathing gets slower again. When your mind is relaxed, so is your breathing.

How many people have noticed that our breathing changes with our feelings?

Show of hands.

2. We can breathe slowly and calmly on purpose.

When we DO think about our breathing, we can learn to use our breath in different ways.

For example, you learn how to use your breath when you swim. At first, it doesn’t come naturally. You have to think about doing it and practice to get the feel of it. When you learn and practice enough, it becomes a habit.

When it’s a habit, your brain remembers the way to use your breath when you swim. You don’t have to think about it so much anymore. You just breathe that way. And you keep growing into a stronger swimmer.

We can learn to use our breath for other things too.

Today, we’ll learn a breathing exercise called four calm breaths. You can use it to relax your mind and calm your feelings whenever you need to.

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3. What is a calm breath?

A calm breath is a slow, easy breath. It’s a breath that takes its time. Another name for a calm breath is a mindful breath. It’s called mindful because we put our mind on the breathing as we do it. We just notice how it feels to breathe.

Taking four calm, mindful breaths might not seem natural at first. It’s a new skill. But as you learn and practice, it will feel more natural. It can become a habit.

4. Let’s try it.

For this skill, we use our fingers and thumb to keep track of counting four calm breaths. Like this.

Use your hand to demonstrate the four finger positions — touching each fingertip to your thumb one by one — without doing the breathing, just counting 1-2-3-4.

Remember that a calm breath is one that’s slow and easy. We let each breath take its time. We don’t rush or push. We count the breaths in our heads and on our fingers. Let’s try it now.

Sit up in a comfortable way. Rest the back of your hand on your thigh or in your lap. Let your hand relax. Touch the tip of your first finger to the tip of your thumb. Like this.

Demonstrate.

With your fingers like this, take a nice, slow breath in.

Pause and breathe in.

Now, breathe out, slow and easy. Pause to breathe out. That’s one breath.

Now, let the tip of your middle finger touch the tip of your thumb. Breathe in, nice and slow.

Pause to breathe in.

Breathe out, nice and slow. Pause to exhale. That’s two.

Now, let the tip of your fourth finger touch the tip of your thumb. Breathe in (pause to breathe in) and breathe out (pause to breathe out). That’s three.

Now, let the tip of your pinky touch the tip of your thumb. Breathe in (pause) and out (pause). That’s four.

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How did it feel to breathe like this?

Let them answer.

Let’s all try it again. We’ll take four more calm breaths. This time, count them to yourself. Notice as you take each breath in and out. Count them in your head and on your fingers. Let each breath take its time. You can do this with your eyes closed or keep them open.

Give time to let kids do this.

You don’t need to just do four breaths. You can keep going and do four more — as many as you need to feel calm and relaxed.


• Taking four calm breaths can help your body and mind feel calm.

• You can use this skill anytime you feel stressed or upset. You can use it before you take a test. You can use it to help you fall asleep.

• This skill needs practice. After you learn it, do it often so it can become a habit. Then you’ll be ready to use it when you need it.

• If you practice calm breathing a lot, you might notice that your emotions feel easier to handle. You may feel more patient. You might find it’s easier to concentrate.


Pass out the Finger-Count Breathing and Tips From Michael Phelps handouts.

The next step is to keep practicing four calm breaths using your fingers to count them. Take this handout home with you. It will remind you of what we learned today.

Practice doing four calm breaths at home so you can get used to doing it. When you need to calm your mind, your new habit of four calm breaths will be there for you.

Michael Phelps has plenty of experience when it comes to calming his mind so he can focus on doing well. The second handout has advice from Michael to help you feel strong and confident.

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• A calm breath is a slow, easy breath that feels relaxing.• When you take calm breaths on purpose, it calms your mind.

Taking four calm breaths is a skill you can practice every day. It helps you:

• stay calmer when things go wrong• be steady and ready for challenges• pay attention and focus better

Here’s how to use your fingers to count four calm breaths.

Try this sitting down. You can close your eyes or keep them open. Let your breaths be slow, easy, and relaxed. Let your counting hand be relaxed. You can rest it in your lap or on your leg.

That’s it! Now, if you want to, you can count four more.

Touch the tip of your first finger to the tip of your thumb. Breathe in, nice and slow. Breathe out, nice and slow. Count to yourself, “that’s one.”

f irstTouch the tip of your middle finger to the tip of your thumb. Breathe in, nice and slow. Breathe out, nice and slow. Say to yourself, “that’s two.”

secondTouch the tip of your fourth finger to the tip of your thumb. Breathe in, nice and slow. Breathe out, nice and slow. Say to yourself, “that’s three.”

ThirdTouch the tip of your pinky to the tip of your thumb. Breathe in, nice and slow. Breathe out, nice and slow. Say to yourself, “that’s four.”

fourth

Lesson 3: Take Four Calm Breaths - Finger Count Breathing

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Put a check next to the thoughts that can help you feel more confident.

Put a big “X” through the thoughts that will make you feel more nervous.

Oh, no! What if I fail this test?!

Yes, I can!

What if my team loses because

of me?!

What if I forget the words to

my song?

I’m not going to let nervous

feelings stop me.

I can’t read in front the whole class!

I know this song by heart. I’m

ready to sing it.

I’m no good at giving book

reports.

If I don’t make it this time, I’ll make

it next time.

What if I make a mistake?

It’s OK if I make a mistake.

I’ll just give it my best.

What if they laugh at me?

I’m going to mess this up.

My teacher thinks I can do this.

I know I can do this.

I’m steady and ready.

I’m going to give this a try.

I’m ready for this test.

Lesson 4: What To Do When You’re Nervous - Power Thoughts

HANDOUT

DateName


DateName

Here’s how:

Hold your head high. Face straight ahead.

Imagine you are showing off the big shield on your

superhero shirt.

Stand up tall. Plant both feet on the ground, a little bit apart.

Put your hands on your hips, shoulders back.

Breathe in. Let yourself fill up with confidence.

Breathe out. Let nervous feelings melt away.

Standing strong is one way to help yourself when you feel nervous. When we stand strong, we stand as confident and steady as a superhero.

When your body is in a confident pose, your mind gets the message “I can do this.”

You can stand strong before you take a test, give a book report in class, or try out for a sport.

Color in the pictures. Make the kids look strong and confident!

Lesson 4: What To Do When You’re Nervous - Stand Strong

STAFF MATERIALS


Lesson 4: What To Do When You’re Nervous

When kids know they are capable and prepared, they can be ready for a challenge — whether it’s a test, a class presentation, or a competition. Encourage kids to work hard to learn things, practice skills often, and ask for help from parents, teachers, and coaches.

Calming strategies (such as Four Calm Breaths from lesson 3) and confidence-builders (like the skills in today’s lesson) can help kids when they’re nervous.

• Nervous feelings are normal when kids face something new or challenging. These feelings signal, “This is important. Get ready!”

• Kids need to cope with nervous feelings so they can face normal challenges.

• Being prepared by studying or practicing is the best way to feel more confident and less nervous.

• Stand Strong and Power Thoughts can help kids use confidence to push through nervous feelings.

1. Have you ever felt nervous?


Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt nervous.

Show of hands.

Me too! Everyone feels nervous at times.

Today we’re going to talk about what to do when you’re nervous.

Learning Goals

• Nervous feelings alert you to “get ready!” to do your best.

• You can cope with nervous feelings and face new situations.


• Stand Strong handout

• Power Thoughts handout


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STAFF MATERIALS


Take It Home!

In this lesson, we encourage students to stand strong and think power thoughts any time they feel nervous. Kids will take home the Stand Strong, Power Thoughts, and Tips From Michael Phelps handouts.

Resources

KidsHealth:

• Worry Less in 3 Steps

• When Tests Make You Nervous

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(Lesson 4: What To Do When You’re Nervous, continued)

First, let’s brainstorm — when do kids feel nervous? Can you think of some examples?

Have kids raise their hands to call out answers:

• take a test

• give a report in front of the class

• try out for a team

• sports competition

• stand up for yourself or someone else

• talk to new people

• do something difficult for the first time

• sing at the school talent show

It’s normal to feel nervous when we face something new or difficult. That’s especially true when we don’t know exactly what to expect, if it seems like a big moment, or if we feel pressure to do well.

Have you noticed how your body reacts when you’re nervous? What have you noticed about how your body feels when you’re nervous?

Have kids raise their hands to call out answers:

• heart beats faster

• breathe faster

• sweaty palms

• face feels warm

• mouth feels dry

• voice gets shaky or stutters

• shaky hands or knees

• butterflies in stomach

STAFF MATERIALS



This body reaction has a name. It’s called the fight-or-flight response. This automatic reaction is the body’s way to get ready in case you need to fight off or run away from danger.

We feel it whenever we’re nervous, afraid, or stressed — even in situations when there’s no real danger.

You know it’s not actually dangerous to give an answer in class, take a test, give a presentation, sing, or read out loud. There’s nothing we need to fight or run away from. But we still may feel nervous or afraid.

What we are afraid of is usually something like making a mistake, feeling embarrassed, giving the wrong answer, or forgetting the words to a song. Even though these things aren’t actually dangerous, they do feel really important. That explains why you feel nervous.

When you’re nervous, there may be a part of you that wants to run away from the situation — or just avoid it altogether. Remember “fight or flight”? That’s the flight part.

But there’s probably another part of you that wants to learn how to handle the situation. You want to go ahead and try out for the team even though you’re afraid you might not make it. You want to go ahead and sing your song in the talent show, even if you feel scared. You want to go ahead and give the class presentation you worked hard on, even though you’re nervous.

Part of you might want to back away from the situation that makes you feel nervous and the other part of you wants to go ahead.

Can you think of a situation like this that you’ve faced? Can you think of a time when you pushed through nervous feelings to go ahead?

Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt nervous but found the courage to go ahead anyway.

Pause for show of hands.

You probably had to use your courage and stay calm to go ahead when you felt nervous. Raise your hand if you felt good about what you did afterward.

Pause for a show of hands.

2. How to be less nervous: study, practice, prepare.

The best way to be less nervous about something — like a test or a competition — is to be prepared. If you try hard when you learn and study, you’ll be more prepared. You’ll feel a lot more confident and a lot less nervous.

If you feel nervous about tests, you can get ready by studying. Ask a teacher to show you the best ways to study. If sports, competitions, try-outs, or recitals get you nervous, practice! When you feel ready, you’ll be a lot less nervous.

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3. A little nervous feeling can be good.

Just enough nervous feeling can boost your energy to help you do well. So don’t wait for nervous feelings to go away before you act. They will fade away naturally after you face the challenge and take the action you need to take.

When you are nervous, notice that feeling. Use the energy of the nervous feelings to stay alert, positive, and ready. Take a confident step to go ahead and do what you need to do, even if your knees are shaky!

4. Let’s try it.

Here are two other things to do when you’re nervous. The first is a confident body posture called Stand Strong. Let’s all try it.

Have the kids stand up.

Stand up tall. Plant both feet on the ground, a little bit apart. Hands on hips. Shoulders back. Head high, facing straight ahead.

Imagine you’re showing off the big emblem on a superhero shirt you’re wearing. Breathe in and out. Let yourself feel strong and confident. Feel your courage.

When we put our body in a confident posture, our mind gets the message, “I can do this.”

You can try Stand Strong before you take a test, give a book report, or have a try-out.

Give the handout Power Thoughts.

Now, we’ll talk about Power Thoughts.

We don’t always notice what we’re thinking. But if we do notice, we can learn to guide ourselves toward thoughts that help us do well.

Let’s look at the handout.

Who can find an example of something that could help you feel more confident?

Let them answer.

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STAFF MATERIALS



Can you spot some examples of thoughts that could make you more nervous?

It’s good to pay attention to what we’re thinking. We can learn to think more “Yes, I can!” thoughts that give us the confidence we need.


• Nervous feelings are normal. They tell us to get prepared for something new or challenging. Nervous feelings are there to tell us “It’s important to me that this goes well.”

• Just enough nervous feeling can boost your energy to help you do well. As long as what’s making you nervous isn’t actually dangerous, you can take action even though you feel nervous. Use the energy of nervous feelings to take a courageous step forward.

• The best way to keep nervous feelings under control is to get prepared ahead of time. Study, practice, and try hard. Ask for help if you want to get better. When you are prepared, you feel more confident and less nervous.

• Putting our body in a confident posture can help us feel more confident. We learned that what we think matters too. We can guide ourselves to think more confident thoughts.

• Then, put all these together — get prepared, stand strong, and think confident thoughts!


Pass out the Stand Strong and Tips From Michael Phelps handouts.

Take home these handouts to remind you of what we learned today. Practice Standing Strong. Remind yourself to think plenty of Power Thoughts.

Michael Phelps knows better than most people how to calm his nerves so he can feel powerful and win races. The last handout has advice from Michael to help you feel strong and confident.

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Tips From Michael PhelpsADOUT The emors Foaioisealh ® a he Michael Phelps Foaio ll rihs resere ame...

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