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Transcript of Tied Down Magazine
A Guide to A lternative We dding s
October 2012
Issue 1
The Budget 3
21
11
5
35
13
9
9
15
The Decor
Interview with wedding planner Emily McCollins
Ask Holly
Budget Tips
The Favors
DIY Dos and Don’ts
15 Unique Reception Ideas
The Ceremony
39
45
37
53
55
57
The Dress
After the Aisle
Find a Dress for Your Style
Color is in
Love Story
The Honeymoon
The BudgetQuick tips for keeping your budget in check
The BudgetQuick tips for keeping your budget in check
The Wedding PlannerHear what a real wedding planner has to say!
Me: So Emily, tell me, how did you get into
the wedding planning business
Emily: Event planning seems to be part of
my genetic makeup. As a child I dreamed
of joining the foreign service, living at the
Biltmore House and planning parties for all
of my friends and random strangers. I now
speak French, plan weddings and occasional-
ly get to work at the Biltmore House. Does it
get any better?
Me: I’d say that’s pretty great! I’d love to
hear what makes a wedding by Occasions by
Emily unique and special? I’ve experienced it
first hand, but I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Emily: Details, details, details. We are very
organized about the details, big and small,
which takes stress off our clients. However,
we’re also “touchy feely” when it comes to
the details. We like to help our clients think
of ways to make everything unique to their
personality and vision.
Me: What has been your favorite wedding
or moment that stands out to you and
why? I love hearing stories about different
weddings!
Emily: I planned a wedding this summer
that was mainly family and a few close
friends. It was a second marriage for both
the bride and groom and they each had a set
of children. The bride had asked her young
teenage son to sing “It’s a Wonderful World”
during the ceremony, but he got nervous and
a little choked up when he began singing.
He made a desperate plea to the audience to
sing along. The minister began to sing out
whole heartedly, the audience joined in and
the violinist picked up the accompaniment
without being asked. I had tears in my eyes
watching such a sweet family, friends and
relative strangers join together to create a
happy moment that the bride and groom
will remember forever. It’s fun to have
yummy cake, gorgeous flowers and a great
band, but the really important thing is the
covenant being made by the people who
share the moment.
Me: Now I’m a little teary eyed, what a
touching story! I will certainly never forget
that one. Let’s change topics slightly, I’d like
my readers to get to know a little about you.
What do you like to do when you are not
planning weddings?
Emily: Read, read, read. It’s one of the few
things I can do to make me stop thinking
about weddings for half a minute. Can’t help
it. I also love being with my three kiddos,
but I seem unable to divide work and family
life. Case in point: My four and six year old
daughters were recently worried about an
upcoming family wedding where there is no
assigned seating as it is a dessert reception.
The six year old wanted to know how peo-
ple would know where to sit without place
cards. I may have ruined my children....
Me: That is hilarious. I see a future planner
I recently had the opportunity to speak with a wedding planner to hear the ins and outs of the business. About a week ago I
sat down with Emily McCollin a real live wedding planner from Asheville, North Carolina to see what she has to say about
making wedding plans. Her answers have the kind of insight that could only come from years of experience planning events.
Written By Hilary Thomson
in your family! Now for the 20 questions
part, Favorite part of the job? Most reward-
ing? Most terrifying?
Emily: I love helping clients define their
vision and then orchestrating it for them.
This can happen through the invitations,
floral arrangements, lighting and even things
like glassware. It’s fun to look through the
photographer’s photos a few weeks later and
think about how we helped the bride and
groom take a vision from concept to reality.
I am most terrified when trying to send a
processional down the aisle. There are all
these people whom I’ve never met before
in my life who need to be seated by ushers
I’ve only just met at rehearsal. The order of
the processional is so important that I can’t
bear to mess it up, and of course the rest of
the guests are watching the whole thing. It’s
very nerve wracking and there’s no do-over
button! Thankfully the nerves keep me on
my game and I can’t remember ever messing
this up too badly.
Me: Okay, how about some advice for any-
one who may be interested in event planning
as a future career?
Emily: Go to college and get a degree in
something, anything. Assist with the events
for whatever social groups you join or jobs
you hold. The more you do, the better pre-
pared you’ll be for the future. If you’re ready
to pursue a career in events, start by getting
“I had tears in my eyes watching such a sweet family, friends and
relative strangers join together to create a happy moment that the
bride and groom will remember forever”
a job in food service, particularly special
event catering. It’s a perfect place to learn
about customer service, timing and the ins
and outs of making a great event happen.
Me: Great advice! What about advice for
brides who are just starting the planning
process? Any particular words of wisdom
for where they should focus their time and
money?
Emily: Make a list of priorities with your
fiance. This will help you know how to set
your budget. Seek out a planner early to help
you have a realistic expectation for costs. A
planner will also help you know all of the
categories you need to consider.
Me: Any interesting trends in the industry
that you love or conversely would love to see
brides leave behind?
Emily: Yikes. Here are the true confessions!
I’m not a fan of the garter toss, mainly
because it seems to embarrass people and
my goal as a planner is to help people feel
as comfortable as possible at the wedding.
I suppose the groom needs something to
balance out the bouquet toss. Hmmmm... I
need to think of a new tradition to suggest
here. Maybe a shoe toss?
Me: Another non-fan of the garter toss here.
On the other hand, a shoe toss could be a
little dangerous. I’m sure you’ll come up
with something! Okay, one last, but very
important question before we call it a day.
Many brides consider going on their own
when it comes to planning their wedding.
What value does a wedding planner bring
that the bride may not be thinking of when
she is making this decision?
Emily: I’m so glad you asked this. Brides
normally want to go it on their own for two
reasons: 1. They think they have enough
time and skill that they don’t need help. 2.
They think they don’t have enough money
to get help. In response to the first reason, I
think no matter how much time or skill in
design/event planning a bride may have, if
she’s never planned a wedding, then she is in
for a stressful surprise. Weddings are a really
big deal and like no other event known to
mankind. For this bride, it’s best to consider
the planner a partner. The planner will sup-
port the bride through the planning process,
allowing the bride to do as little or as much
as she pleases. Then the planner will be there
on the big day to make sure the plans are
carried out while the bride just enjoys. For
the bride with a small budget, a planner can
save money--really. I tell the truth. A planner
knows where to “shop” for vendors in all
different price ranges, and can suggest ways
to cut budget to make way for items that are
more important to the bride and groom.
Me: You know, I couldn’t agree more with
what you’ve said. As a (self confessed)
‘minor’ control freak, while hard to let go,
it was a huge relief for me to have someone
else running the show so I could just totally
be in the moment, enjoying my new husband
and spending my time with family.
I lied, I do have one more question. How
should interested brides get in touch with
you for more information?
Emily: Just give me a call at 828.808.8888
or email [email protected]. I
love to talk about weddings and get excited
about each new client because every bride
is unique and has fun, new ideas. Oh, and
I’m a HUGE facebooker. Please join the
fan page “Occasions by Emily”. I post new
ideas, photos and more almost every day,
sometimes several times a day!
Me: This has been so fun getting to know
a little more about you and the business! I
really appreciate you taking the time to sit
down and talk with us. It truly has been a
pleasure. i
“Weddings are a really big deal and like no other event
known to mankind.”
Rest assured that a bulging-at-the-seams guest list is a common wedding planning occurrence, and can be remedied somewhat painlessly.
You are probably feeling so excited about sharing this joyous occasion with everyone you know that you just can’t bear to leave anyone off
the list. But, truth be told, most of us can’t afford to invite everyone we know to our weddings, so start trimming! First, go over your list
with your fiance and put each guest into category A or B. The As are the absolute must-invites, and likely include your family and closest
friends. The B list is for all of those remaining. Now weed out your B list by asking yourself some questions: How close are you with this
person? When was the last time you saw or spoke to this person? Would having him or her there on your wedding day really make or break
your enjoyment? Based on your answers, you should be able to significantly reduce your overall list.
Other ways to consider cutting back: Leave off old high school or college friends whom you’re pretty sure you’ll never see again; second
and third cousins whose names you can barely remember; and your parents’ extras (unless, of course, your parents are footing the bill).
Make your wedding adults-only (skip anyone under 18); invite single people sans guests (and seat them together so they’ll mix and mingle);
and don’t feel obligated to invite coworkers or business associates. Lastly, don’t feel pressured to invite people just because you were invited
to their weddings. You may still feel bad about cutting people, but the reality is, it’s one of the surest ways to save lots of money and have
the wedding of your dreams.
I have a wedding budget that allows for about 150 guests, but my fiance and I have so many friends that our current list
already exceeds 250! I keep looking at it and just can’t cut any names without feeling terrible. How can we trim our wed-
ding guest list without the guilt?
Brought to you by Holly Rosnik our official wedding expert.
Questions sent in by the readers answered by our wedding expert
How do you decide who pays for what? We’ve laid out the options so you can decide whats best for you.
Written By Patricia Samuels
Question
Answer
These days, the cost of a wed-
ding makes a year at Harvard
and Yale look affordable. How
are you going to scrape together
the bucks so you can have the
bash you want? Put that idea
about sticking up the Federal
Reserve on hold. You have
options -- legal, time-honored,
respectable options. The kind of
options that (unless you’re in the
habit of bouncing checks) won’t
land you behind bars. Here’s a
rundown of some of them, plus
their pros and cons. Keep in
mind that a combination of two
or more may be how you end up
getting your wedding paid for.
The Bride’s Parents Pay
The traditional -- and still pretty
popular -- way of paying for the
wedding.
i
Budget Tips
Ask Holly
i
The Pros:
You don’t have to dip into your
nest egg to pay for the wedding,
which means you’ll probably
be driving a better car, buying a
better house and taking better
vacations a year from now than
your contemporaries who are
paying -- in full or partially --
for their own wedding.
The Cons:
“The person who pays ultimate-
ly gets what he or she wants,”
says JoAnn Gregoli, a wedding
consultant and owner of Elegant
Occasions in Denville, New
Jersey. Which means that if
you want 100 guests but your
parents want 250, you’ll prob-
ably end up with at least 175
to 200 people at your wedding.
“Having your parents pay for
the wedding doesn’t hurt your
wallet,” notes Gregoli, “but you
have to be willing to compro-
mise on what the wedding will
be like.” Another downside:
Having your parents pay for the
wedding -- especially if they’re
retired, on a fixed income, or
just not that well off to begin
with -- could strap them down
with some major debt.
Everyone Pays
A contemporary and, according
to Gregoli, effective way of
taking care of wedding expenses
is for the two of you, the bride’s
family, and the groom’s family
to split the expenses. It works
best, she says, if you simply take
the whole cost of the wedding
and divide it three ways, rather
than dole out specific things
to pay for: “For example, if
you let your parents pay for
the dinner, then they may be
inclined to invite more guests.
It can get sticky.” If you can’t
divide it equally -- say one party
is more or less wealthy than
the other two -- ask that party
what’s comfortable for them to
give, and throw it into the pot.
“But just because his family, for
example, is giving four times as
much money as yours doesn’t
mean they get four times more
say,” says Gregoli. “You’re
handling this as a group, and
one person can’t push his or
her weight around.” The key to
making this work, she cautions,
is negotiation and compromise.
The Pros:
By pooling your resources, you
may be able to afford the kind
of wedding you want. You also
may not have to empty your
savings account to get it. What’s
more, since everyone is contrib-
uting -- which means everyone
gets a say -- you’re not likely to
make one side or the other feel
left out.
The Cons:
By accepting money from other
people, you do give up some
control. But there are always
solutions, notes Gregoli. “If you
want a DJ but the parents want
a band, look for a band that
also works with a DJ, who can
play during the band’s break. Or
if you want a buffet recep-
tion and your parents want a
seated dinner, perhaps have food
stations, but arrange for waiters
to serve your parents and their
friends at assigned tables.”
You Two Pay for Everything
More the norm than you might
think. As more and more
brides and grooms marry later
-- stockpiling those Christmas
bonuses, merit raises, and divi-
dend checks -- more and more
couples are in a good position
to foot the entire wedding bill
themselves.
The Pros:
Money talks, and as such, you
will have total control over all
aspects of the wedding. If you
want to get married in a bikini
on the beach and dance to a
reggae band at the reception,
you do it. Your mom may think
it’s an outrage, but in the end,
she-who-does-not-open-her-wal-
let can’t dictate to you.
The Cons:
You might deplete your savings
(and rack up some debt if you
take out a loan or charge on
your credit card). You also run
the risk of offending your par-
ents if you refuse their financial
help. To remedy the situation?
You might accept a nominal
sum from them, or let them
pay for something you don’t
have strong opinions about
-- say, the flowers. In any event,
don’t shut your parents out of
the wedding-planning process.
Encourage their input -- hey,
they may even have a good idea
or two -- compromise where
you can, and stick to your guns
on the things that are really
important.
“If anything creates problems in
planning a wedding, it’s money,”
says Gregoli. “To sidestep
problems, you need to do a lot
of communicating -- with your
partner and both families. If you
don’t, there will be trouble.”
Truer words have never been
spoken.
Th e D e c o rCreate a cohesive style from the invitations to
the reception.
Th e D e c o rCreate a cohesive style from the invitations to
the reception.
Pick practical giftsTo ensure your favors serve their purpose, choose a gift that is one of
two things: edible or practical. Edible favors are a fail-proof option
that guests can enjoy on their way home. Some of our favorites in-
clude cake pops, mini pies and personalized candy bars. Among those
in the something-useful category are stemless wineglasses, martini
shakers or even luggage tags.
Make them meaningfulChoose favors that express your personalities, or share something
you love with your guests. Are you both into wine? Mini wine
bottles with personalized labels will go over big. Spend almost every
weekend hitting the links? Give out golf balls or tees customized with
your initials. Share a piece of your unique heritage by giving out tins
of Asian cookies or pastries, or authentic olive oil from the region of
Italy where your ancestors were born, for example.
Order (or make) extraWhether you choose to give one favor per guest or per couple, always
have backup ready (figure about 10 extra favors for every hundred
guests) in case some get lost or broken. Plus, some guests will take
extras, and you may want to hold on to a few favors for keepsakes.
Do before you DIYWhile DIY favors might seem like an easy way to save money, keep
in mind that assembling and wrapping 200 favors is probably more
time-consuming than you think. And if you’re attempting to make
a more complicated favor, all your efforts may go down the drain
when the finished product falls short of your expectations. To avoid
wasting your time (and money), try making a few samples to gauge
whether you’re up for the project before you commit.
Try before you buyIf you’re ordering favors online, purchase a single sample before you
add 200 to your cart and click “buy now.” You want to make sure
the truffles taste good or the pashminas are the actual color they
appear to be on your computer screen before you end up with a
hundred of them. Some vendors will supply samples for free, so it’s
The FavorsThe wedding favor is not the most important part of your wedding but it is how your guests will remember your wedding.
There are lots of decisions that go into choosing a wedding favor read below to learn how to decide what will work for
wedding favors and what doesn’t, no matter what you get your guests are sure to be pleased. Written By Charlotte Gray
i
worth asking. And if you’re purchasing personalized favor tags or
packaging, ask to see a proof to make sure everything is spelled right
and the wedding date is correct.
Add a liner to edible favorsEdible favors require special packaging. Paper bags or boxes can
quickly absorb the grease of cookies or custom popcorn (leaving you
with an unsightly favor box). Make sure you line the container with
wax paper before adding any edible goodies to keep grease from
leaking through and ruining the pretty packaging you chose.
Put your personal stamp on each oneAdding a personalized touch will make your favors exponentially
more special. If you’re a whiz at Photoshop, put those skills to work
and design your own custom label or tag bearing your wedding
date, your monogram or motif, a meaningful quote and/or a note
thanking your guests. You could also use a custom rubber stamp to
add your monogram and date. Though it’s time-consuming, consider
handwriting a thank-you note inside the tags -- it’s an inexpensive
labor of love your guests will appreciate. Or have each favor tag
hand-calligraphed with a special thank-you note. You can also buy
personalized favor tags that have your monogram, names and/or
wedding date on them at online event and bridal retailers.
Plan out your favor displaySmaller favors that are wrapped in pretty packaging can add to the
table decor -- arrange them on guests’ place settings or prop them
on their seats. If you plan to arrange favors at each place setting, do
a dress rehearsal. Ask for samples of your linens, plates and glasses,
plus any other items like menus and place cards, to make sure that
everything works together and won’t crowd your tables. If your
favors are attractive and big enough, you may decide to make them a
centerpiece of the room. For example, assemble cupcakes or slices of
groom’s cake in store-bought boxes and arrange them in the shape of
a layer cake. Tuck fresh flowers between the boxes to decorate.
Don’t forget signageIf you’re leaving the favors out rather than delegating someone to
distribute them, make sure guests know that they’re theirs for the
taking by attaching favor tags to each one, or by placing a legible
framed sign nearby that reads, “Please take one,” “Be our guest” or
simply “Thank you.”
Whether you want to save money or include personalized touches, do-it-yourself details can make a big impact. But some
projects are tougher than others, and what you thought would be a 1-2-3 could turn into an undertaking worthy of a
world-class planner. To avoid DIY overload, choose wisely. Here are our picks for what to do and what to leave to the pros.
Written By Lisa Wheel
4 DIY DosYour Makeup: If you do your own makeup, you’ll be in the privacy of your home or hotel room -- and you won’t have to book an appoint-
ment (or worry about being on time)! Grab a few basics: foundation, powder, eye shadow, blush, and lipstick. Put on enough to accentuate
your best features. Worried about looking washed out in your photos? Do a trial run and have a friend take a few pictures.
Your Ceremony Decor: The ceremony lasts less than an hour, so it seems like a waste to pay big bucks for specialty arrangements, especially
if the site is pretty on its own. Create hanging baskets or vases filled with locally grown flowers. Doing so is both eco-friendly and cost-effi-
cient. Or, instead of flowers, buy candles and place them throughout the space. Use any extras you may have to brighten your newlywed nest.
Your Favors: A quick way to save money on wedding favors is to add a personal touch. Sweet treats are a safe choice. Grab a box of your
favorite mix and start baking. Pack them in colorful boxes or cute bags. For nonedibles, wrap up tree saplings or donate to charity. Be sure to
give guests handwritten cards that say you’ve given in their name.
Your Invitations, Programs, and Save-the-Dates: Specialty papers, postage, and card sizes can cost hundreds, and you still might not be
able to find exactly what you want. Head to a local paper store for a DIY kit or choose stock paper in any color and print stylish invites right
off of your computer. Avoid the mistake of getting too fancy and using oversized envelopes -- they cost extra to mail.
DIY Dos and Don’ts
DO: make your own invitations
6 DIY Don’tsYour Cake: Whether it’s a missed teaspoon of sugar or a tilted tier,
a wedding cake disaster is hard to fix. Yes, it would be much less
expensive to buy a few boxes of cake mix and do it yourself, but
the quality in the end could be lacking. Decorating and transporting
a wedding cake is quite difficult and best left to someone with the
knowledge of how to handle your confection without damaging it.
Your Photos: Your photographs are one of the few tangible things
you’ll have to remember your wedding. All of your loved ones may
promise to capture every moment, but what happens if they get
distracted or have a camera malfunction? If it’s important for you
to have high-quality images and hundreds of great shots, hire a pro.
You’ll be glad you did when you see your picture-perfect album.
Coordinating it Yourself: You’ve organized every minute detail
so far, so why shouldn’t you be in charge on the wedding day?
Because you won’t be able to relax. Hiring a coordinator for the day
can be a lifesaver. While you’re getting pampered, they’ll be setting
up and averting any crisis that may occur. When everything isn’t
going perfectly, you’ll be none the wiser. Trust us -- peace of mind is
worth the extra expense.
Your Centerpieces: A beautiful centerpiece sets the mood of the
reception. From sophisticated to fun, you can create a setup that will
wow your guests -- with a florist’s help, of course! Flowers can cost
upward of $3,000, depending on your taste and the season. Although
it’s a larger part of the budget, it’s worth every penny. Your wedding
florist will ensure that you get exquisite displays filled with the
freshest blooms.
Your Catering: Catering a large-scale party is a huge undertaking,
even for a culinary whiz. You’ll be hard-pressed to get enough food
together for a hundred people and keep it hot -- even if you make the
best dish in town. And, once you get it made, you’ll need a reliable
staff to serve it. Caterers are trained to make it happen; they have the
support staff to serve you and your guests in a timely manner.
Your Music: It’s tempting to rock out to your favorite tunes, and
you might think it’s easy to do so with an iPod. Not quite. You’ll be
limited to the music that you love as a couple, not necessarily what
everyone else will like, and you’ll be stuck with the playlist. Music
pros are trained to read the dance floor. They can speed it up or slow
it down so that your guests are footloose into the wee hours.i
DOn’t: make your
Dress
Looking to have a wedding like none other -- at least like none other you’ve ever attended? Don’t be afraid to try something new and
something that’s intrinsically you. The first step is to define who you are as a couple. Investigate your likes and dislikes. Ask yourselves:
What do we enjoy doing in our spare time? Which is our favorite season? Favorite artists, movies, and music? Favorite era? Once
you’ve unveiled your personal style, you’re ready to take the second step and start developing a wedding-day theme.
Your theme doesn’t have to be something so complex as a Hawaiian luau, replete with a roast pig, leis, and grass skirts, but it should pinpoint
an element that can be used as a thread throughout your wedding day -- a color, a flower, or even a vintage brooch. You may be inspired by
pink roses, a pearl-studded purse, or snowflakes (because the two of you met on the ski slopes). Or you may love sunsets so much that you
host your ceremony at sundown, have wedding programs designed in shades of the sunset (from burnt orange to pale pink) and choose am-
ber-color pin-lighting in your reception venue. Need more ideas? Here are 15 ways to craft a one-of-a-kind celebration.
Written By Olivia Johnson
Locating the right spot to host your fun, formal affair is your greatest
challenge. Having the wedding in a hotel ballroom will lend a very differ-
ent tone than having it in an old weathered barn on your grandfather’s
farm. Locate a distinctive venue -- scout out old nightclubs, movie the-
aters, city roof gardens, hip restaurants, art galleries, or historic mansions.
Get reception ideas in your area! Or transform the space you choose into
something different by setting up screens to create different environments
for dinner and dancing. You can even change the mood from one area to
the next with the lighting: one room might feature white and ivory paper
lanterns hanging from the ceiling while the next may be outfitted with
deep red beaded lampshades on every table.
1. Find the right wedding venue.
Finding a common chord to play through all the elements of your
wedding -- from your paper products to your party -- will help you
put on a production that’s truly unforgettable. Try a masquerade
ball! Infuse your theme from the reception venue (a fancy ballroom
or an old theater) to what to wear (have guests come in costumes,
such as butterflies and angels) to the favors (give guests handmade
masks) to the honeymoon (go to Venice during Carnevale).
2. Develop a theme.
Have a photo booth set up at the site so that your friends and family can take their own pictures or group shots. The results are a little like
a home video without sound. Whether you pose properly, make funny faces, or try your best Rockette kick line, you’ll be caught on tape
showing your true colors. Compiled into a visual wedding-day guest book, these are photographs that will be treasured by brides and grooms
for years to come.
White-on-white is never out of style. As many people as there are looking for hot, hip new colors and coordination there are those craving the
ultra-traditional. Talk to your florist about mixing shades of whites for the bouquets; use all-white linens or linens that mix various shades of
white -- ivory cloths with white overlays, for example; and have a white wedding cake with white rolled fondant frosting and accented with
ivory sugar blossoms. Final touches: waiters dressed in tuxedos
The vibe of every wedding is dictated by the decor. To achieve an event that reverberates with romance, adorn your space with dozens of red
roses and golden ornamentation. For casual elegance, try candles set afloat in pools, flowers floating in fish bowls, and a string quartet playing
love ballads.
“For casual elegance, try candles set afloat in pools, flowers in fish bowls,
and a string quartet playing love ballads.””
3. Pick an unforgettable guest book idea.
4. Pay attention to the decor.
5. Go classic.
Develop a visually stunning scene using monochromatic color, whether blue, violet, or kiwi green. See our favorite wedding color ideas. Con-
sider setting up different sizes and shapes of tables (circular, square, rectangular) and use different textures or designs for the fabrics (pin-stripe
fabrics on round tables and tiny polka-dot covers on square ones). Although your color palette will remain the same, each tabletop will render
a distinct personality.
Who says the tables must sport uniform arrangements? Think of your spread of tables as a garden, each row or corner with its own identity.
Place some of your chosen blooms in tall opaque vases, float other flowers in short bowls, use others in clear vases filled with rocks and water.
Accent the shorter centerpieces with tall taper candles and the taller ones with shorter votives or tea lights. Get more wedding reception table
ideas.
If you’ve chosen a huge reception space to accommodate your massive family, make it more intimate by adding lounge furniture. If you can’t
bring in couches and plush chairs to create a sitting area, try seating only four people to a table instead of eight to ten, or drape the walls and
ceilings with rich velvety fabrics to close in the space.
Lighting is a key (and usually forgotten) element. Okay, so there’s always candlelight or chandeliers or strung twinkle lights. But before you
take an easy way out, ask if your venue has another form of lighting and use it! Find out if your venue can provide cool effects like gobo light-
ing to create shapes with light. Yes, it could border on cheesy if you overuse it, but initialing the white walls with your new monogram during
your first dance can add an unexpected element to the occasion.
6. Embrace color.
7. Set your tables apart.
8. Make it intimate.
9. Go for good lighting.
Serve something regional. We know a bride who had a popular East Coast seafood soup poured at each place setting, as guests arrived
in the tent. Another bride we know served sour-cream cornbread with mayhaw jelly, a local southern favorite. If you’re marrying in a
city that brews its own beer, be sure to stock the bar with it or with another signature drink from your hometown.
Espresso bars are hot and a good accessory to dessert --
especially if you serve your espresso with cordials. These
bars also provide a good jolt toward end of the night as
the party winds down and the yawns start pouring in; plus,
lattes and cappuccinos served on dainty china can be very
sexy drinks.
Bring in 20 different sweets like chocolate-covered strawber-
ries, banana fosters, and creme brulee. Talk to your caterer
for clever ways to decorate tables and present mini desserts.
Your family can join in the fun -- ask your best friend’s moth-
er to make her famous brownies or your aunt to make those
pecan delights. A dessert buffet encourages mingling and
ensures getting people off their seats and closer to the dance
floor. If you still can’t pass on the multitiered confection, box
the individual cake slices and distribute as favors.
10. Give your guests a taste of the town.
11. Drink it up.
12. Dessert buffet!
Book professional entertainers. An a cappella group or singing waiters during cocktail hour will turn on the charm. Hire
a group of dancers -- choose from belly dancers to Irish jig or salsa dancers -- who’ll perform during courses. Bring in
some different music for an hour or so, perhaps a steel drum band, a barbershop quartet, or a mariachi band.
A master cigar roller who demonstrates the art of cigar rolling will prove to be a big hit. You might ask him to display
and hand out an array of rare or limited-edition cigars for guests to enjoy after dinner -- do this in conjunction with a
lounging area or around a martini or vodka bar for an added chic factor. Or, have him entertain guests during the cock-
tail hour while you two are busy taking pictures.
There are wedding watercolor artists who will draw in pastels, or paint in watercolors, the reception as it unfolds. This
can be a great gift for the bride and groom, but it’s also some quiet entertainment for guests and especially good for
weddings set in great scenery -- creating a collage of events like guests dancing outdoors on the sand and the best man’s
toast by the water at a beachside bash. ccc
13. Go pro.
14. Add a cigar roller to your reception.
15. Invest in a watercolor artist.
i
Civil or Religious?Your answer to this question affects every
other aspect of the ceremony. You may
already know which way you’ll go; if not,
read on.
Religious: If you follow a particular faith
and your partner is of the same faith (or
open to yours), a religious ceremony may
be a given for you. If you have two different
faiths and plan to keep them separate, you
can create an interfaith ceremony as the
first of a lifetime of blending rituals. Pairs
who believe in God or some other spiritual
force but not in organized religion might
have a nondenominational ceremony (with a
Unitarian minister, for example).
Civil: Prefer to keep religion out of it? A
civil ceremony may be more your speed.
“Civil” means it’s in accordance with state
laws, but the exact requirements vary from
state to state (and even county to county).
Visit the web page of the marriage license
bureau in your wedding location for details
on the civil process there. Other reasons to
stay civil: if this is a second wedding for one
or both of you; if your ideal ceremony is
too creative for your clergy; if your dream
wedding is no wedding (that is, you plan
to elope); if you’re having a destination
wedding.
Where to WedA religious service can be held in a church,
temple, mosque or meeting room, and some
clergy will also officiate at nonreligious sites.
For civil ceremonies, it’s pretty much up to
you where you host your vows (provided
that your officiant agrees to come). While
outdoor sites offer scenic backdrops, if
you’re saying “I do” at a public park or
Your ceremony is the whole reason you’re planning this big, elaborate bash, right? So don’t wait until the last minute to
start thinking about it -- there’s much more to this event than simply saying “I do.” Written By Jessica Micciolo
The Ceremony
beach, be prepared for strangers to walk
by. If you’re not into that, opt for a private
estate or golf course. Also, decide whether
you want to have your ceremony and recep-
tion at the same or different locations. Using
the same venue for both events means you
won’t have to worry about shuttling guests
between two spots, but going with separate
sites lets you create two different moods.
Master of CeremoniesYour choice of officiant is crucial. Look for
someone whose beliefs coincide with yours,
who is as modern or as traditional as you
desire, and who understands you, your rela-
tionship and your ceremony priorities.
Religious OfficiantIf you don’t have someone in mind already,
start with your (or your parents’) current
house of worship, or a childhood church or
college temple, and see if anyone is available
for your wedding date. Another option: Call
that beautiful church or temple you love to
drive by and ask to make an appointment
with a clergy member. (Note: Some churches
may require you to join before hosting your
wedding there; others will marry nonmem-
bers.) Some religious leaders will tailor a
service to include the beliefs of both partners
or will officiate alongside a religious leader
of another faith, while others may refuse. So
if you plan to create an interfaith ceremony,
you may need to look outside your houses
of worship for an officiant who is open to
performing a blended ceremony.
Civil OfficiantDepending on the state or county’s specific
requirements, a judge, magistrate, justice of
the peace, county or court clerk, mayor or
notary public (not, despite what you may
have heard, a ship’s captain—unless he
also holds one of the above civil titles) can
officiate. Call city hall to find a civil officiant
in your area.i
Th e D r e s sHow to find the perfect dress for you and this
seasons most popular styles.
Th e D r e s sHow to find the perfect dress for you and this
seasons most popular styles.
You’ve always been a rebel. Maybe you pierced your
eyebrow, skipped college for an acting career, or
started your own underground web ‘zine. Or may-
be you just like to be different. Now you’re getting married
and you want your attire to reflect your unique sense of
style. You’ve been envisioning micro-minis and thigh-high
boots, body-skimming red leather -- even a sparkling two-
piece bikini.
Here’s the good news: the new millennium has brought with
it a rush of fresh options for the modern bride -- including
all three styles mentioned above. The bad news? Your par-
ents, relatives and other loved ones may not understand your
decision to buck tradition. After all, weddings are steeped
in it. So if you really want to go your own way, consider the
following pointers:
• Thefirstthingyoushoulddoischeckwithyourofficianttofindoutifhe/shehasanyguidelinesorspecificrestrictionsconcerning
bridal attire. Depending on your religion and/or ethnic background, your officiant may insist that your head, legs, and shoulders be
covered. If you wait until the last minute (i.e., the day of the wedding) to reveal your plans, don’t be surprised if the officiant refuses to
start the ceremony until you cover up.
• Anotherthingtoconsideristhetime,place,andformalityofyourwedding.Theaforementionedbikiniwouldseemseriously
out of place at an evening ceremony in a candlelit cathedral packed with 300 guests. Why not opt for an asymmetrical body-skimming
sheath with a thigh-high slit instead? It’s a sexy, modern, entrance-making look, sans the jaw-dropping, commotion-causing shock value.
Written By Katie Millen
• Onceyou’veestablishedthatalternativeattireisappropriateforyourwedding,youmaywanttoclueinyourfamilyandfriends.
Chances are, they’ll want you to be happy, so they’ll support your decision and you can breathe a huge sign of relief. Otherwise, when you
strut down the aisle in your black, plunging designer gown, the feeling could be one of tension and unease -- and all eyes will be on your
outfit, instead of on you, the bride!
Speaking of color, wedding gowns now come in all sorts of beautiful ones -- from bold blues and hot pinks, to greens, golds, and even
reds. If you’re finding it hard to convince your loved ones -- your groom or mom -- that color is completely appropriate, you might want
to consider donning a traditional white wedding gown for your ceremony, then slipping into something in a bold hue for the reception.
• Thereareevenseveralweddinggownsavailabletodaythatboasttwo-in-onedesignsspecificallydesignedforthispurpose:short
dresses with long, see-through layers on top; two-piece gowns with interchangeable skirt and pant options; and body-skimming sheaths
with removable floor-length sheer jackets (which we called the 2-in-1 dress). It may not be the super short and sexy shift you originally
pictured yourself marrying in, but look at it this way: everyone will be happy, and you’ll get to wear two gowns, instead of just one!
“Here’s the good news: the new
millennium has brought with it a rush
of fresh options for the modern bride
-- including all three styles mentioned
above. The bad news? Your parents,
relatives and other loved ones may
not understand your decision to buck
tradition.”
i
Vera Wang says
By Alex Minsky
After the AisleAfter the wedding of your dreams, what come
next?
After the AisleAfter the wedding of your dreams, what come
next?
I love glamour, peacock feathers,
and the 1920s, so I wanted to
really capture all that in the
wedding and in my outfit. I wanted
lace and not a full-length gown,
and one that flattered my curves,
which was a bit of a challenge. But
thankfully, I had my very talented
family friend Steffani Lincecum to
help transform a huge tradition-
al ball gown dress into a dress
straight out of my dreams. Jordan
had a custom suit made from the
most amazing men’s shop in St.
Paul, Heimie’s Haberdashery. The
day before the wedding the guys all
went to get hot towel shaves and
cigars at their barbershop as well.
Our venue allowed us to have the
ceremony and reception in the same
space, which was very important to
me. And being that Jordan is a chef,
food was very important to him.
Luckily the venue is catered by the
delicious Loring Pasta Bar.
Tell us about the ceremony: I was
very nervous about writing an
entire wedding ceremony from
scratch, but we knew this was what
we wanted. For me, the officiant
was going to make or break it. We
threw around some different ideas
of who we wanted to officiate, and
once we made the decision, my
anxiety was greatly diminished. We
chose a dear friend of my family
who has been a wonderful female
role model for me growing up. She
gracefully touched on each of our
personalities, and our relationship
as a whole, while tying in some
wonderful advice.
We kept the ‘20s theme going
with our processional music of
“Ain’t She Sweet” performed by
Gene Austin while my grandma
was escorted in, and “You Were
Meant for Me” while the bridal
We caught up with some of our readers to hear how their wedding turned out. Go to our website after
your wedding to answer a few questions, send in your favorite pictures of the big day and next month
you might be telling us your story! Written By Lauren Mateer
Love Story
party came in. I entered to the song
“Baby” by Devendra Banhart, and
was led in by my four adorable
flower girls (who are all our
nieces), each carrying a one word
sign with the sentence “Here comes
the bride.”
Both Jordan and I were raised in
Catholic families, but neither of
us practices the faith. We knew we
wanted a non-religious ceremo-
ny, and I knew this may cause
some disappointment from some
family members, especially our very
traditional grandmothers. We had
a fairly large wedding, so instead
of passing the rings around during
the ceremony, we had one of our
ushers stand at the back of the
theater and ask guests to warm the
rings with “a wish, a prayer, or a
blessing” as they walked in.
My funniest moment: One of my
favorite moments from the whole
day was when Jordan, who is a
generally emotional guy and comes
from a very emotional family,
started to cry pretty heavily during
the ceremony. He grabbed his
bandanna to wipe the tears, then
turned and pointed to his mom and
said “This is your fault!” Everyone
got a good laugh out of it.
What was the most important
lesson you learned from your wed-
ding? The most important thing
I learned was to trust the people
around me. Exactly one week from
our wedding day, I was sicker than
a dog. I called my amazing mother
and she was able to put my mind
at ease. I have been blessed with
an amazing family and circle of
friends, and have married into an-
other incredible family. Every one
helped out when I needed it.i
Adventure TripsIf reaching for the suntan lotion is
your idea of exertion, this honeymoon
trend isn’t for you. But if you’re a
more active twosome, an afternoon of
learning to surf, hiking to the top of the
tallest nearby peak, or four-wheeling
over rugged terrain are foolproof ways
to increase your pulse.
Where to Go:
• Taking a safari doesn’t have to mean
living like a rhino. Tintswalo Safari
Lodge in South Africa is a luxurious
base from which to explore the sur-
rounding nature reserve. tintswalo.com
• Crisscross the Mediterranean island of
Gozo on a weeklong bike trip. Break-
away Adventures offers “independent”
tours, whereby they suggest routes and
provide bikes, and then wave good-bye.
breakaway-adventures.com
Tip: Find tour operators for adven-
tures from surfing to storm chasing at
voyagetrek.com.
Intimate Cruises We’re not talking about a huge ship
swarming with grannies, we mean
luxury boats with only a few dozen
rooms that can take you to spots that
aren’t as fun to reach via planes, trains,
and automobiles.
Where to Go:
• The Oberoi, Zahra is a week-long
luxury cruise on the Nile River. With
Egyptologists on board to explain the
country’s fascinating history, as well
as four massage suites, this voyage is
just as educational as it is relaxing.
oberoihotels.com
• Island hop between the French
Polynesian Leeward Islands aboard
a 60-person yacht. Depart from Bora
Bora and make stops at the islands of
Taha’a, Huahine, and Raiatea during
the six-night cruise before returning to
Bora Bora. boraboracruises.com
• Love watching Planet Earth? Real
life is better than HD on a National
Geographic-sponsored tour of the
Galapagos Islands, during which you’ll
The Honeymoon
Make your honeymoon memorable, fun and something special just for the two of you! Break from the traditional and try to
find something that fits your style. Written By Andi Phayre
have the chance to glimpse the famous giant tortoises, search
the waters for whales and dolphins, and (we’re not making this
up) snorkel with penguins. expeditions.com
Tip: Find a cruise to fit nearly any itinerary and to practical-
ly any destination (including a 108-day “World Cruise”) at
crystalcruises.com.
Private Villas Whether it’s a house in the countryside or a collection of bunga-
lows along a stretch of beach, private villa rentals afford a lot of
privacy and give guests the sense of having a home away from
home. Expensive? Yes. Worth it? Definitely.
Where to Go:
• The 40 pavilions at Amanyara in Turks and Caicos are made
largely of glass and wood to create airy, open spaces from
which to enjoy the surroundings. amanresorts.com
• Cotton Bay Villas, opening this year in June on the island of
Eleuthera in the Bahamas, will boast 24 villas, a mile-long
beach, and two private cays for birthday-suit sunbathing (just
don’t skimp on the SPF!). discovercottonbay.com
• The Ritz-Carlton, Bali Resort & Spa has 38 new villas perched
on a cliff overlooking the Indian Ocean, each of which has its
own plunge pool. ritzcarlton.com
Tip: Search 1,600 villas of all sizes in Europe and the Caribbean
to find one that fits your honeymoon budget at wimco.com. i