7/27/2019 THWO Als Stories So Near and Yet So Far Myrna Smith

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So Near and Yet So Far

Myrna Smith for Perry Smith

M

y name is Perry Smith. On the day I was born, I was named Donald and given up foradoption. My biological mother was twenty at the time, and I was the second child

she had given up. She never had another.

My adoptive (real) parents had tried for years to have children, but due to many health issueswhich prevented my mother from carrying a child, they decided to adopt. Because theywanted a biologically Jewish child, the process took seventeen years.

My parents started telling me around age two that I was special and that they specificallychose ME to be their child. Words cannot describe the relationship I had with my parents.We loved each other unconditionally and unselfishly. They taught me love of family, a love

of mathematics, strong life values and a good work ethic. My father passed away when I wasnineteen; my mother when I was thirty-one.

Five years ago, the Ontario Government decided to open adoption records. I had never beeninterested in finding my biological parents. But after suffering a devastating illness, my familyencouraged me to do so. After months of waiting, my biological mother was located alive,and living for years in close proximity to my office and now my home. Both of us had toagree to the sharing of information and this took additional time. A huge step for both of us.

We agreed to meet and unquestionably there was an obvious physical similarity.She said she had never been married. She asked if I had tried to find her. I said I hadnt, thatI was grateful to her for giving me to the worlds most wonderful parents, and I thanked herfor this unselfish act.

I admit I was very curious. Her name on my original Birth Certificate was not the same on hertelephone listing; that is another name came up on call display. I asked about my biologicalfather. She told me his name, that he had passed away, and where he was buried. Aftersearching, we found that no such person existed. She never told me I had a half-sibling. There

were many inconsistencies in her story.

My wife became a detective and worked tirelessly through many channels to uncover thetruth. She found his true identity and his name was the same name listed on my biologicalmothers phone. She found out that he was deceased and the date of passing and where hewas buried right beside his wife. They had no children.

I kept in touch with my biological mother regularly, as friends. A year after we met she passedaway from cancer. She is buried not too far away, and in the same cemetery as my biological

father.