The Year with the Beard OR How My Hairs Are Teaching Me -- Part 2 | SikhNet 6 /9 /11 12:07 PM

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The Year with trie Beard OR Mow My Hairs Are Teaching Me —- Part 2 June 8, 2011 by Hdfsirnrahprei-i.

I t was about this t ime last year that I was impelled to share a very difficult, uniquely Sikh challenge for me. I am a woman with a very fuzzy chin. I t 's not an exaggeration at all to say I have a beard. Since my hair is dark brown, I can't even pretend people don't notice it, even if that 's wha t they !¡ke to pretend.

Last year, on Hay first, I offered my head to the Guru fully knowing that was the end of hiding this reality of my face and I knew that it wat crucial that I do it. At the t ime, I had no ¡dea how deep the quest to understand my Sikh image would lead.

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a month brother to ask questions and he person who had the kindness am bring up the issue. I had started the hairs to grow on m\ ehin, be periodically freak out and yank c all the while begging the Guru to nee mi this challenge. Consequently, my skin w< angriiy with inf lammation. I couldn't win not bring myself to permanently remove with something like electrolysis, ft felt lit in. Weil, my brother in all sensitivity told was absolutely ok to remov teacher, the Sin Singh Sahi permissible but that ultimai graceful. If it was keeping i through life gracefully, thei Everything in me said it wa cheating; that I was suppo! conundrum. I was going to beard. Still, Ï was given an went home and removed e> in the mirror relieved, think again. For the next three d<

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nakiny it out to be. Yet, at the same time, it was extremely

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The Year with the Beard OR How My Hairs Are Teaching Me — Part 2 | SikhNet 6/9/11 12:07 PM

important to understand that it -/vas forcing me to see who I really am. So, I kept up. I didn't touch the hair all year. I pulled at it and cursed It and tried to ignore it or make it seem less noticeable but there was really no escape. I always found myself with my forehead on the floor because trusting the Guru was the only way to cope. For nine months, every six weeks I had to move to a new area and work with a new group of people as I went through my medical rotations. That meant every six weeks I was introduced to a whole new sea of faces with the same thoughts behind their eyes. Finally, I was able to settle on an island In Washington for twelve weeks. ¡I: was the children ï met there that helped me.

Children, in their innocence and curie-ait y will say things that most adults would need a lot of courage to say. Because they have so little in the way of preconceived notions, they tend to be more accepting of people, just as they are, and simply want

Select Language • (-0 understand them. I staited the new year in Family Medicine at a military base and my little patients began confronting me. Í will never forget the face of this seven year old as she sat at eye level with me on the exam table. I had come in with the doctor who was rny preceptor, a wonderful teacher who was still quite uncomfortable with me. Every t ime we sat together she unconsciously rubbed her chin. The child looked at me Incredulously in my turban and bana and, after I started talking, said without breaking for breath, "You have a beard1 I thought you were a boy. You're a gir l ! Why do you have that? That's weird! What, are you anyway? Why are ,-ou wearing that thing on your head? What is i t? " Her poor mother was horrified and her pre-teen brother looked away in embarrassment. All I could do was to immediately laugh. Her words were so true and honest and made me realize I had nothing to hide, t was actually very comfortable with my appearance and who I was discovering myself to be. ï saw lots of little patients over the course of three months. The kids helped the adults be more comfortable and that continued to strengthen me. They helped me to realize I believed very much in who I was presenting myself to be: intact in my Creator's form, a Khalsa woman. Me.

As Spring drew near, I felt more end more: drawn to be with the Sikh Sangat in Española, New Mexico, the center of Sikh Dharma in the West. I had never visited there and the thought of doing so made me nervous. I t was really Sikhs of Western heritage, students of the Sir! Singh Sahib who ma le me most self-conscious about my facial hair because so many whom I had met after the initial discussion with my brother had told me I should or could remove it. I knew others were uncomfortable with me because of it too, I had not spent that much time ¡n the Sangat and was afraid to face that confrontation on such a broad scale. 1 made rny plans to travel to Española, and as the t ime drew near, the challenges to my form increased.

In preparation, ï staited regularly reading lectures Yogi Bhajan had given at Khalsa Women's Camps. I hoped to gain some peace of mind. Instead, every time I read, I would end up in a lecture where there was a comment about it being ridiculous for a woman to have a beard. First I started freaking out, doubting my decision again. Then I started swearing at my teacher for confusing me. This was so cruel! After the fourth time I sat down to read yet another comment he had made about women and facial hair I just started laughing. He was pushing my buttons! I knew just what I was doing.

About the same t ime, I had to return for a week at school. Most of my classmates had not seen me regularly In bana and with all my hair. We had all been traveling during the year and it was t ime to renew our relationships. It was uncomfortable. During the week we had a lecture about professional job interviews from an experienced interviewer, a Dean at my University. I sat dressed in white in the front row as she told us we need to avoid standing out too much and should wear dark conservative suits and have neatly t r immed hair. One of the guys in the back asked about interviewing with his beard. She replied that she did not see a neat beard as a problem, as long as it wasn't long like "'Osama bin Laden" and of course she said, she wasn't talking about women. She was trying to be funny, f feit my whole class collectively, silently gasp. They knew why I was doing what I was doing, and after that lecture, some of them staited again to relate to me.

Two weeks before I left for Española, almost a year to the day of my conversation prior to Amrit, my brother took me to breakfast for what turned into a nearly identical conversation. This t ime the feeling was completely different. This t ime I had no doubt. When confronted about the hair, I looked him in the eye and said " I am just doing what I always knew I had to do." "Which is?" he said. "Keeping it ." Then he very compassionately told me it would be difficult for most men to accept me. I agreed that my beard is an obstacle, in my mind though, i knew it was only a very special man that could get through—a Singh who could see past the physical to the infinite. That is the kind of man for me.

All the anxiety of being with the Española Sangat was needless. I t felt like returning home. Most of the people I met were so secure in themselves; I could sense no challenge whatsoever to my image. After a year of traveling all over, and facing challenges to my commitment and my Sikhi, I was blessed to return to that very familiar place, closer to self and community. Every night I can take off my turban but my tuce never lets me forget I am my Guru's Sikh. I t gives me solidity. At the same t ime, it has made me realize where true beauty is and how fleeting and transient this physical body Is.

This is not the face Î had when Í was a kid and it will not be the one I have if I am blessed to live to 70. Yes, I am a woman, but that means so many different things. What is important is not how I fit into somebody else's categorical image, but how much I can accept ail of my own contradictions, duality and idiosyncrasies. The stronger I am in myself, the more others around me are convinced the / are also pretty gie?t. We are always changing, hopefully growing and expanding our sense of Infinity. All I have to do is touch rny chin to remind me. What a gift!

On the last morning of rny stay, 1 climbed to the top of the hill overlooking the Gurdwara and the expanse of rolling high desert land extending in every direction A lone, sleek, black raven came to perch on the ground on the adjoining hillside and turned his eye to assess me. this grand bud is in Native American lore a representation of clarity, wisdom and healing; a connection between the physical plane and the ethers. I honored its presence in that sacred land as an image of the Infinite, bowing my tearful, smiling and fuzzy face to the Guru who guided me there by His grace. The test of the hair has been one of courage, but more so a test of faith because really, there is nothing that can harm me or

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The Year with the Beard OR How My Hairs Are Teaching Me — Part 2 | SikhNet 6 /9 /11 12:07 PM

cause me to waiver from rny destiny except my own self-defeat. The Creator's plan Is already in place. I just have to accept the journey, walk forward ana loam what it means to me.

It is so much easier to smile in the race of a challenge than to cower and be weak; and the more often I do it, the easier It

seems. In the end of this game ther« is no question of whether or not I shall be victorious. The victory is already won. In a

few months I travel to Anandpur Sahib to recommit myself to this Khalsa path with greater understanding. The adventure

continues, and I face it with my chin up, proudly and with joy in my heart.

Waheguru Ji ka Khalsa1 Waheguru Ji ki Fateh!

~Harsimranpreet Kau;-

You can read Part i of this story at: How My Hairs are Teaching Me - Part 1

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Tags : beard, cou i / , î ' i 'ud", Women

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6 comments Add a comment

Andrea L A ivarado • '**' Top Commenter

Ah bhan j i ! It wil l be an honor standing next to you at Anandpur Sahib.

I - Like - Reply Subscribe • 3 hours ago

Rae. Kathleen

í $a ' Waheguru j i ka khalsa! Waheguru j i ki fateh! You make me proud to be a woman. Your courage breaks everything that should be broken, and heals everything that needs to be r ighted, thank you for who you are.

¿ - u io • Reply Soi ,<•,'••- - t. ' hours aun

Jagniee« Singh Hansp.il - Senior- Software l.ngineer at juniper Networks

What an amazing realization story. Thanks for posting!

,.: - Like • Reply • Subscribe • 12 hours ¿¡go

Manan Singis • Cur t i r University, Western Australia $** Really Kauraqeous stuff... super like it... it wil l give a nice boost for other women too, who are receding away f rom

Sikhism. Waheguru Ji bless u always dear sister...

m Harv i r Singh - Wayne State University

Thanks for sharing the story very tew people realize this and have this courage. I guess they are chosen by god which souls they are. Waheguru j i ka khalsa Waheguru j i ke fateh.

v jovcnpe • .:*• hour

A imer Singh Randhawa - I riendr. wi th ( juruka Singh Khalsa

A message for Hars imranpnet Kaur by Kulwant Singh khokhai f rom USA through CL-Z group.

Developemt ol you: courage is gteat! You have won the war of self -defeat. You have baked yourself weil tu re the real Sikh ol the Guru!

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