The XFiles

8/10/2019 The XFiles

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The X-Files

Field Reports Compiled

by Dana Scully


2/84

March 7, 1992

(Pilot)

Agent Mulder's insistence of time loss due

to unknown forces cannot be validated orsubstantiated by this witness.


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September 20, 1992

(Deep Throat)

Lt Colonel Robert Budahas, was returned to

his home, although his own knowledge ofhis disappearance and whereabouts is vague

and inconclusive. Special Agent Mulder's

insistence that Budahas may have been a test

pilot, on a top secret project involving

aircraft using recovered UFO technology,

and may have suffered severe stress related

trauma by flying these aircraft, is also

inconclusive. Though, this Agent can

collaborate Agent Mulder's eye-witness

account of two unidentified flying objects,

in the northern sky over Ellens Air Base,

their exact nature or design could not be

determined. Barring further authorisedinquiry, this case - filed `DF101364' - is

closed.

September 24, 1993

(Squeeze)

After a careful review of the violent andpowerful nature of these murders, I believe

the killer to be a male, twenty-five to thirty-


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five years of age, with above average

intelligence. His matter of entry has so far

been undetectable, this may be due to his

superior knowledge of the inner-structure of

buildings and duct works. Or that he in fact

hides in plain sight, posing as delivery or

maintenance workers.

The extraction of the liver is the most

significant detail of these crimes. The liver

possesses regenerative qualities, it cleanses

the blood, the taking of this trophy is the

transferring act for the killer to, cleanse

himself of his own impurities. I think he is

acting under, the classic form of obsessive

compulsive behavior. Now since the victims

are unrelated, and we cannot predict who

will be next, we must utilize the fact that akiller will not always succeed in finding a

victim. When this occurs, a serial killer may,

return in frustration to the sight of a previous

murder, hoping to, recapture the emotional

high. I think our best course of action is to

target these sights.


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October 22, 1993

(Shadows)

Further investigation into Lauren Kyte's

personal history reveals an estrangementfrom her family. Phone records confirm no

contact with her parents for the last two

years. Her actions observed during

surveillance indicate a strong relationship

between Lauren Kyte and her employer, the

late Howard Graves. Was this relationship

somehow the motivation for his suicide?

How are the attack and the subsequent

murders of the Isfahan agents related, if at

all? I am certain that the answers to these

questions lie in finding the identity of

Lauren Kyte's accomplice.


7/84

October 24, 1993

(Ghost in the Machine)

Some see genius as the ability to connect the

unconnected -- to make juxtapositions, tosee relationships where others cannot. Is

Brad Wilczek a genius? I don't know. But I

do know this for certain. He has a

predilection for elaborate game playing. He

has an intimate knowledge of the Eurisko

building and he has a demonstrable motive

for killing Benjamin Drake. The question

remains. But if he is so clever how do we

nail him? End of field journal, October 24,

1993.


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December 17, 1993

(Fire)

The arsonist is usually unmarried and prone

to excessive fantasies about women or menwho are inaccessible to him. Often, the

setting of fires results from his cowardice

and inability to develop a natural

relationship. His crimes are often very

clever and elaborately planned. The

suspicious nature of the fire last night

strongly suggests the arsonist has followed

Lord Marsden to the United States. A check

of all recent immigrations in the

northeastern area is underway. It has

become not a matter of if, but when he will

strike.


9/84

February 18, 1994

(E.B.E.)

Ridley's notes from the human trials at

N.I.H. indicate he didn't see aging asinevitable but as an opportunistic disease. A

disease that could be prevented, reversed

even, by changing the chemical cues that

trigger certain genes. However, there is no

evidence whatsoever that Ridley's work

yielded any results or that his theories, all

hope to the contrary, hold any validity.

According to the leading scientific journals,

projections on this kind of genetic

engineering are at best speculative and

futuristic.


10/84

March 18, 1994

(Miracle Man)

Rather than simply killing Samuel, Vance

contrived to kill the ministry's faith in him.We have conclusive evidence connecting

him both to the courtroom infestation and to

the poisoning deaths of three members of

the ministry. Vance's obsession outlived

Samuel, however. His conscience haunted

him until he became delusory and finally

took his own life, effectively ending our

investigation. In light of this information, it

is highly doubtful that there have ever been

any miracles in Kenwood, Tennessee.


11/84

April 19, 1994 - Mulder

(Born Again)

The inconclusive results of Michelle's

past life regression do not shake my

basic belief in hypnosis as a tool for

psychological healing. Whether or not

it offers us definitive proof of

previous lifetimes is another matter.However, in this particular case, all

other explanations seem to be even

more wanting.

Closing entry, file number X-40271.

Detective Anthony Fiore pleaded

guilty yesterday in federal court to

charges of first-degree murder after

the fact, grand larceny and

obstruction of justice. The deaths of

Detective Rudy Barbala and former

police officer Leon Felder are being


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ruled as accidental, although their

complicity in the murder of Officer

Charlie Morris has been definitively

established. No charges were brought

against Michelle Bishop, who today

took her first swimming lesson. She

claims no memory of the preceding

events and both her mother and Dr.

Braun have denied my request for a

second past-life regression. End of

field journal, April 19, 1994.


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July 7, 1994 - Mulder

(Little Green Men)

We wanted... to believe. We wanted

to call out. On August 20th and

September 5th, 1977, two

spacecraft were launched from the

Kennedy Space Flight Center, Florida.

They were called Voyager.

A gold-plated record depicting

images, music and sounds of our

planet, arranged so that it may be

understood if ever intercepted by a

technologically mature extraterrestrial

civilization. Thirteen years after its

launch, Voyager One passed the

orbital plane of Neptune and

essentially leaving our solar system.

Within that time, there were no


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further messages sent. Nor are any

planned.

We wanted to listen. On October

12th, 1992, NASA initiated the

high-resolution microwave survey. A

decade long-search by radio telescope,

scanning ten million frequencies for

any transmission by extraterrestrialintelligence. Less than one year later,

first-term Nevada Senator Richard

Bryan successfully championed an

amendment which terminated the

project.

I wanted to believe but the tools

have been taken away.

The X-Files have been shut down.

They closed our eyes. Our voices have


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been silenced... our ears now deaf to

the realms of extreme possibilities.


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September 23, 1995

(The Host)

The turbellarian flatworms are free-living

carnivorous scavengers, usually less thanthree centimeters in length, found in fresh

and sea water. They are hermaphroditic with

complex reproductive systems, capable of

internal fertilization. Many species require

more than one host to complete a life cycle.

Although the shape of the wound on the

sanitation worker suggest scolex attachment,

the sheer size of the wound precludes

involvement of the common flukeworm.


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September 30, 1994

(Blood)

Several anomalies were discovered in post-

mortem analysis that were undetected inprevious autopsies. Levels of adrenaline are

known to be high in cases of violent death,

twice as much as in victims of natural death.

This subject's levels were two-hundred times

normal. The adrenal gland displayed

extensive adrenal hemorrhage, yet not from

disease, but rather from wear. Other

physiological evidence present indicated

intense phobia. Analysis of the vitreous

humor extracted from the eyeball indicated

the presence of high concentration of an

undetermined chemical compound. This

compound, at it's base, is similar to thesubstance analyzed earlier on a perpetrator's

finger. Although further qualitative analysis

must be performed, it is my opinion that this

chemical, when reacting with adrenaline and

other compounds secreted during phobic

episodes, creates a substance to lysergic acid

diethylamide... L.S.D.


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October 7, 1994

(Sleepless)

Also in the described in the report, is a

highly experimental neurosurgical proceduremeant to induce a permanent waking state.

The procedure involved cutting out part of

the brainstem in the mid-frontal region

which would explain Henry Willigs scar. A

similar scar should also be evident on

Augustus Cole. Post-op treatment also

included a regiment of synthetic

supplements to replenish the organic deficits

caused by prolong lack of sleep. This is

consistent with the anti-depressants Cole

robbed from the pharmacy. These drugs

maintain serotonin levels in the blood.

Serotonin being the primary substanceproduced during sleep. While it is

theoretically possible that this procedure

greatly diminished the subjects need for

sleep, I can neither quantify nor substantiate

its success without further clinical

evidence.


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November 16, 1994 - Mulder

(Firewalker)

Scully and I are in the third day of a

month-long quarantine, undergoing

level 4 decon procedures. We are so

far without symptoms of fungal

contamination. All our specimens and

field notes were confiscated by themilitary biohazard corps prior to our

evacuation. Their presence has

delayed for an indefinite period the

arrival of the USGS data retrieval

team. I suspect, though, that therewill be little left for them to

retrieve. There are no plans at

present to explore further any of

the hundreds of volcanically active

mountains in the Cascade Range,including Mount Avalon. All access


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points to that volcano have been

sealed off by army engineers. Of the

members of the Firewalker descent

team, only Trepkos and O'Neil remain

unaccounted for. They are presumed

dead, and the search for them has

been abandoned. Firewalker, however,

was recovered, though its sensory

and locomotive systems were found

to be irreparably damaged. The data

it collected from the earth's interior

will never be known. And of the

events that occurred at Mount

Avalon between the 11th and 13th of

November, 1994, mine stands as the

only record.


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December 9, 1994

(Red Museum)

File number XWC060361. The identity of

the man shot in the slaughterhouse has yet tobe determined. His name, any record or

artifact of his past, present or immigration

status have yet to be found. His fingerprints

are not on file in either the F.B.I. or National

System of Records. At this time, it remains

doubtful that anyone will come forward to

I.D. or claim the body.

Under further analysis, the inoculant found

in the broken vials was isolated and

determined to be an unstable antibody of no

known biological origin. After three weeks

of study, the components of the serum,probably synthetic, have broken down

structurally and, in this retrograde state,

cannot be analyzed further. This coincides

with the development of a severe and

undiagnosed flu-like ailment affecting the

children who were believed to be inoculated

and some of the local families.


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To date, none of the congregants or

members of the Church of the Red Museum

have contracted this illness. I suspect

whoever was doing may have been using

them as a control group.

The shipping manifests for what is believed

to be milk and beef tainted by the

unspecified inoculant do not provide enough

information to track their destinations. A

local advisory and quarantine have been

established. Further inquiry into the tainted

beef has been promised by the pertinent

government health agencies.

The F.B.I. investigation into this case is

currently at a standstill. The case remains

open and unsolved.


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December 16, 1994

(Excelsius Dei)

In response to the series of unexplained

incidents at the Excelsius Dei convalescenthome, the Massachusetts Department of

Public Health has assumed all administrative

authority at the facility. They detected trace

amounts of ibotenic acid in more than half

the residents tested. Though these levels

have dissipated rapidly.

Dr. John Grago has been replaced as head

physician at the facility and his trial use of

the drug Depranil has been suspended. For

his admitted part in manufacturing and

distributing an illicit substance, Gung

Bittouin was remanded to the Immigrationand Naturalization Service and is awaiting

repatriation to Malaysia. There are

reportedly no efforts being made to study

the mushrooms.

The federal government has settled

Michelle Charters lawsuit out of courtthough no clear blame has been placed.

Witnesses to the events have been unreliable


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due to dramatic relapses and a general

reversal in their progress with Alzheimers

disease.


26/84

January 6, 1995

(Aubrey)

We are continuing with genetic testing on

Detective Morrow. Evidence suggests thepresence of a mutator gene that has activated

previously dormant genes, but the results so

far are inconclusive.

Detective Morrow has not demonstrated

any further physiological changes. Extensive

blood work and psychological testing has

been conducted in order to determine

whether the pregnancy could have been a

catalyst for the transformation. We have yet

to determine the effects on the fetus.

Amniocentesis results show no genetic

abnormalities. Chromosome testing has

determined the child's sex to be male. BJ is

on her second week of suicide watch after an

unsuccessful attempt to abort her son.

Lieutenant Tillman has petitioned to adopt

the child, and the case will soon be

presented to the courts.


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January 13, 1995

(Irresistible)

A complete model or psychological profile

of the death fetishist does not exist.Extrapolating from material on file at the

FBI's Behavioral Science Unit, the

compulsion is the result of a complex

misplacement of values and a deviation from

cultural norms and societal mores - often

accompanied by extreme alienation from

normal social interaction and traditional

avenues for interaction with others. He is

more likely to be white, male and of average

to above average intelligence. Cases of

fetishists with IQs over 150 have been

documented. The progression of the

pathology can be traced from the fantasystage to the eventual acting out of fetishistic

impulses, including opportunistic homicide.

Agent Mulder believes strongly that the

suspect in this case is escalating toward this

action. It is my opinion from reading these

case files that death fetishism may play a

stronger role than suspected in cases ofserial murder. That once he begins to

murder, it is the killing that draws attention


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away from a deeper motive. A motive which

most people, including law enforcement

professionals, dare not imagine. It is

somehow easier to believe, as Agent Bocks

does, in aliens and UFOs, than in the kind of

cold blooded inhuman monster who could

prey on the living to scavenge from the

dead.

----

Death is a recorded event. For reasons

natural or unnatural, when a body ceases to

function, the cause of the effect can be

clearly reconstructed. A body has a story to

tell.

If the victim was strangled, an examinationof the veins in the eyes will reveal this. If

the victim was shot, entry wounds and

gunpowder residue can be used to

reconstruct the events leading to death and

help to establish a possible motive. Body

temperature, preferably the temperature of

the spleen, is an accurate indicator of thetime of death. As are rigor, livor and levels

of sodium in the blood. If the body was


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moved, sand, small rocks, vegetable debris,

even pollen can be removed and analysed to

determine the location of the original crime

scene and place the position of the body at

the time of death. Extracutenous stains and

residues can indicate the use of poison or

toxins. Hair and fibres, slivers of glass,

plastic, even insect casings can serve to

recreate the circumstances under which

death occurred.

It may be an irony only understood by those

of us who conduct these examinations, who

use these pieces to rebuild a narrative, that

death, like life itself, is a drama with a

beginning, middle and end.

It is my opinion, having conducted this

examination, that the victim died a wrongfuldeath for the express purpose of extracting

her hair and fingernails.

The time of death cannot be accurately

determined due to what I believe must have

been immersion in a cold environment, most

likely water. Death came as a result of bloodloss and trauma from a deep knife wound

which severed the plimonary artery. Of the


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evidence examined, no one piece or

combination gives a clear picture of the

killer, other than the motive implied by the

bizarre nature if the crime. For the record, it

is also my opinion that, outside of child

homicide, which may be more tragic and

heinous, this is one of the most angry and

dehumanizing murders imaginable.


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January 13, 1995 - Mulder

(Irresistible)

The conquest of fear lies in the

moment of its acceptance. And

understanding what scares us most is

that which is most familiar, most

common place. That boy next door,

Donnie Pfaster, the unremarkableyounger brother of four older sisters,

extraordinary only in his ordinariness,

could grow up to be the devil in a

buttoned-down shirt. It's been said

that the fear of the unknown is anirrational response to the excesses of

the imagination. But our fear of the

everyday, of the lurking stranger,

and the sound of foot-falls on the

stairs. The fear of violent death andthe primitive impulse to survive, are


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as frightening as any x-file, as real as

the acceptance that it could happen

to you.


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February 4, 1995

(End Game)

Transfusions and an aggressive treatment

with anti-viral agents have resulted in asteady but gradual improvement in Agent

Mulder's condition. Blood tests have

confirmed his exposure to the still

unidentified retrovirus whose origin remains

a mystery. The search team that found Agent

Mulder has located neither the missing

submarine nor the man he was looking for.

Several aspects of this case remain

unexplained, suggesting the possibility of

paranormal phenomena... but I am

convinced that to accept such conclusions is

to abandon all hope of understanding thescientific events behind them. Many of the

things I have seen have challenged my faith

and my belief in an ordered universe but this

uncertainty has only strengthened my need

to know, to understand, to apply reason to

those things which seem to defy it. It was

science that isolated the retrovirus AgentMulder was exposed to, and science that

allowed us to understand its behavior. And


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ultimately, it was science that saved Agent

Mulder's life.


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February 14, 1995

(Fearful Symmetry)

Willa Ambrose and Ed Meecham have been

charged with manslaughter for the death ofKyle Lang. And though the courts will rule

on this matter, and justice will be no doubt

be served, the pall of a greater tragedy

remains. The motives of the silent visitors

who set these events in motion remain

unclear. Could this be a judgment on a

global rate of extinction that has risen to

1000 times its natural rate in this century?

An act of alien conservation of animals we

are driving hard toward oblivion? And if so,

might it follow that our own fate and

existence could finally be dependent upon

the conservatorship of an extraterrestrialrace? Or in the simple words of a creature

whose own future is uncertain, will "man

save man?"


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March 12, 1995

(Dod Kalm)

It has been 18 hours, 45 minutes since the

onset of symptoms. Rudimentary blood testshave revealed impossibly high

concentrations of sodium choloride - salt -

though the contaminated water itself is not

saline. It appears to catalyze existing body

fluids, causing massive and rapid cellular

damage. The untainted water has slowed the

degenerative progression in Trondheim and

me, but Mulder has fared less well, perhaps

because of the dehydration he suffered on

the way here.

----

Mulder's urinalysis continues to indicate his

kidneys' failure to excrete the substance I'm

calling "heavy salt". Whether the untainted

water taken from the sewage system is even

helping him at all is unclear. What does

remain clear to me is that I can't give up

trying.

----


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Agent Fox Mulder lost consciousness at

approximately 4:30 this morning, the 12th of

March. There is nothing more I can do for

him, or for myself. Supplies are exhausted,

no food or liquid consumed for over 24

hours. The outer hull most probably flooded,

though for now the inner hull is supporting

the ship's mass. Among Halverson's

belongings, I found a children's book of

Norse legends. From what I can tell, the

pictures show the end of the world - not in a

sudden firestorm of damnation as the Bible

teaches us, but in a slow covering blanket of

snow. First the moon and the stars will be

lost in a dense white fog, then the rivers and

the lakes and the sea will freeze over. And

finally a wolf named Skoll will open his

jaws and eat the sun, sending the world intoan everlasting night. I think I hear the wolf

at the door.


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April 14, 1995

(The Calusari)

The strange case of Charlie Holvey and the

deaths that occurred during his possessionby a dark and malevolent force are unsolved.

The boy, who will celebrate his tenth

birthday next month, remains under the

watchful care of his mother. And though I

believe him innocent of the crimes, I am

disturbed by the warnings of the Calusari

that neither innocence nor vigilance may be

protection against the howling heart of evil.


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May 12, 1995

(Our Town)

Pending further review, the Chaco

processing plant has been closed by theUSDA. So far, no evidence of contaminated

chicken has been discovered. Though it

remains unknown how many citizens

participated in the ritual activity, 27 have

become fatally ill with Creutzfeldt-Jacob

disease. What is known is that a transport

plane carrying Walter Chaco was shot down

in 1944 over New Guinea. Chaco was the

only survivor of that crash. According to

naval records, he spent six months with the

Jole -- a tribe whose cannibalistic practices

have long been suspected but never proven.

Naval records also show that Walter Chacowas born in 1902 making him 93 years old

at the time of his death. As of this date, his

remains still have not been found.


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(The Walk)

No evidence was found linking

Leonard Trimble to the deaths of

General Callahan's wife and son.

Officially, the case remains open. The

murders unsolved.

Leonard Trimble's family requested

his burial at Arlington National

Cemetery. The Army denied this

request. Trimble was cremated, his

ashes interred at a civilian cemetery

in Tannersville, PA. Leonard Trimble's

mission was not to kill his enemies...

but to shatter their lives... to keep

them alive. To suffer the pain that

he felt. To see the view from his

wheel chair.


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Amputees sometimes feel the pain of

phantom limbs... ghosts of hands still

clenching... legs, still aching. Is it not

possible that Trimble developed a

phantom soul? A malevolent psyche

that took its revenge on those he

held accountable?

----

The Army Board of Inquiry declined

to press charges against Lt. Col.

Victor Stans after a lengthy

investigation. Stans was released

from the hospital and posted under

medical supervision at Ft. Evanston.

Leonard Trimble was a casualty of

the Gulf War. A victim of friendly

fire. The wounds of war, however,

can go beyond the physical and

mental injuries of battle. There was


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a spiritual toll on the combatants,

the attack against the psyche that

leaves in its wake only bitterness and

anger. It was war that destroyed

Leonard Trimble's body and released

his phantom soul. And it was war

that destroyed those parts of

himself that make us civilized human

beings... those better angels of our

nature.

----

It was war that destroyed Leonard

Trimble's body... but his wounds

went deeper than the loss of his

limbs... What destroyed those parts

of him that make us human beings?

Those better angels of our nature? I

cannot say.


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(War of the Coprophages)

The development of our cerebral

cortex has been the greatest

achievement of the evolutionary

processes. Big deal. While allowing us

the thrills of intellect and the pangs

of self-consciousness, it is all toooften overruled by our inner,

instinctive brain, the one that tells

us to react, not reflect, to run

rather than ruminate.

Maybe we have gone as far as we can

go, and the next advance, whatever

that may be, will be made by beings

we create ourselves using our own

technology, lifeforms we can design

and program not to be ultimately


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governed and constricted by the rules

of survival.

Or perhaps that step forward has

already been achieved on another

planet by organisms that had a

billion years head start on us. If

these beings ever visited us, would

we recognize what we were seeing?And upon catching sight of us, would

they react in anything but horror at

seeing such mindless, primitive,

hideous creatures?


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(Syzygy)

We are but visitors on this rock,

hurling through time and space at

sixty-six thousand miles an hour.

Tethered to a burning sphere by an

invisible force and an unfathomable

universe. This most of us take forgranted while refusing to believe

these forces have any more effect on

us than a butterfly beating its wings

halfway around the world. Or that

two girls, born on the same date,the same time and the same place,

might not find themselves the

unfortunate focus of similar unseen

forces. Converging like the planets

themselves into burning pinpoints ofcosmic energy, whose absolute gravity


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February 2, 1996 - Mulder

(Grotesque)

The name is from the French

"gargouille". The name of a medieval

dragon that prowled the river Seine.

Whose horrible image became the

symbol of the soul of the

condemned. Turned to stone. Or ofthe devils and demons of the

underworld spared eternal damnation.

The embodiment of the lesser forces

of the universe who inspired dread,

the threat of our own damnation.Ushers into hell or into the realm of

our own dark fears and imagination.

For over 1200 years, this grotesque

image has found its expression in

stone, clay, wood, oil and charcoal.Born again and again as if


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resurrecting itself by its own will

through tortured human expression,

almost as if it existed. Haunting men

inwardly so that it may haunt

mankind for eternity. As it must

have haunted John Mostow. But

what impulses moved it to kill?

Could this be the same dark force at

work? Its ultimate expression the

destruction of the flesh? Of the very

hand that creates it? Is this evil

something born in each of us?

Crouching in the shadow of every

human soul waiting to emerge? A

monster waiting to violate our bodies

and twist our will to do its bidding?

Is this the monster called madness?

----


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We work in the dark. We do what

we can to battle the evil that would

otherwise destroy us. But if a man's

character is his fate, it's not a choice

but a calling. Sometimes the weight

of this burden causes us to falter.

From the fragile fortress of our

mind. Allowing the monster without

to turn within. We are left alone

staring into the abyss. Into the

laughing face of madness.


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February 16, 1996

(Apocrypha)

Addendum to case number 621517, in the

absence of any official response my request

to have my sister's case reopened, I am now

petitioning to devote full Bureau resources

to the search for Alex Krycek. Since agent

Mulder's release from the hospital, we have

had no success locating Krycek or the 2 men

he described as his abductors. Personally, I

believe Krycek is the key to identify the

larger forces behind the crime we are

investigating. He alone can name the man

who shot my sister, and explain the strange

radiation deaths aboard the French salvage

vessel.


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March 8, 1996

(Teso Dos Bichos)

The Suffolk county coroner ruled the deaths

at the museum were the result of animalattacks. What motivated these attacks and

why no more have occurred since has not

been explained. To the museum, the urn was

an artifact from a dying culture-- its curse

merely a primitive superstition. Dr. Bilac

learned there is a world beyond our own,

unseen but powerful, and as real as the urn

itself.

The icons from that world represent forces

that cannot be tamed or collected in a

museum. The true curse that struck the

museum was the failure to understand thatthere are powers that should not be

disturbed... That some things are better left

buried.


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April 12, 1996

(Jose Chungs "From Outer Space")

She was suffering from what my partner

calls "missing time." She recalled nothing ofthe previous night, nor how she had arrived

at her present whereabouts. Her body

exhibited signs of physical abuse, and all of

her clothes were on backwards or inside-out.

The father informed the police, who

apprehended the boy back at his own home.


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October 18, 1996

(Teliko)

Special Agent Dana Scully, Field Journal

Entry number 74. Despite acute trauma tohis pituitary gland, Marcus Duff was

discharged early this morning from Mt. Zion

Medical Center. He is expected to testify

before a Grand Jury in the capital case

against Samuel Aboah who is being charged

with five counts of murder. It remains

uncertain, however, whether Aboah will live

long enough to stand trial. His response to

hormone therapy has been poor, his

deterioration progressive. My conviction

remains intact that that the mechanism by

which Aboah killed and in turn survived,

can only be explained by medical science,and that science will eventually discover his

place in the broader context of evolution.

But what science may never be able to

explain is our ineffable fear of the alien

among us; a fear which often drives us not

to search for understanding, but to deceive,

inveigle, and obfuscate. To obscure the truthnot only from others, but from ourselves.


55/84

October 27, 1996

(Unruhe)

Addendum to case report. After his death, a

diary was found among Gerald Schnauz'sbelongings, written in the second person and

apparently intended as an open letter to his

father. It includes the names of his victims,

the women he desired to save. My name is

contained in the last entry. I have no further

explanation for the existence of the

photographs, nor am I confident one is

forthcoming. My captivity forced me to

understand and even empathize with Gerry

Schnauz. My survival depended on it. I see

now the value of such insight. For truly to

pursue monsters, we must understand them.

We must venture into their minds. Only indoing so, do we risk letting them venture

into ours?


56/84


(The Field Where I Died)

At times, I almost dream.

I, too, have spent a life the sages'

way and tread once more familiar

paths. Perchance I perished in an

arrogant self-reliance an age ago...and in that act, a prayer for one

more chance went up so earnest,

so... instinct with better light let in

by death that life was blotted out

not so completely... but scattered

wrecks enough of it to remain dim

memories... as now... when seems

once more... the goal in sight again.


57/84

February 9, 1997

(Memento Mori)

I feel time like a heartbeat, the seconds

pumping in my breast like a reckoning. Theluminous mysteries that once seemed so

distant and unreal, threatening clarity in the

presence of a truth entertained not in youth,

but only in its passage. I feel these words as

if their meaning were weight being lifted

from me, knowing that you will read them

and share my burden, as I have come to trust

no other. That you should know my heart,

look into it, finding there the memory and

experience that belong to you, that are you,

is a comfort to me now as I feel the tethers

loose and the prospects darken for the

continuance of a journey that began not solong ago, and which began again with a faith

shaken and strengthened by your

convictions, if not for which I might never

have been so strong now. As I cross to face

you and look at you incomplete, hoping that

you will forgive me for not making the rest

of the journey with you.


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(Redux)

I've held a torch in the darkness to

glance upon a truth unknown. An act

of faith begun with an ineloquent

certainty that my journey promised

the chance, not just of

understanding, but of recovery. Thatthe disappearance of my sister, 23

years ago, would come to be

explained. And that the pursuit of

these greater truths about the

existence of extraterrestrial lifemight even reunite us. A belief which

I now know to be false... and

uninformed... in the extreme. My

folly revealed by facts which

illuminate both my arrogance andself-deception. If only the tragedy


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had been mine alone, might it be

more easy tonight to bring this

journey to its end.

----

Let the truth be known though the

heavens fall. The web of lies

entangling us can now be connectedback to the very institution which

brought us together. The facts

supported by a byzantine plot,

executed by someone inside the FBI

who, if named could be tied to the

hoax meant to destroy me. And to

the terminal disease inflicted on

Scully. In four years, I have shared

my partner's passionate search for

the truth. And if my part has been

a deception, I have never seen her

integrity waver or her honor


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compromised. But now, I ask her to

lie, to the people that lied to us. A

dangerous lie to find the truth. To

find the men who would be revealed

as its enemy as OUR enemy. As the

enemy within.

----

The military connection to the

conspiracy we had pierced was now

undeniable. The man who lay dead in

my apartment worked for the

Department of Defense at its

Advanced Research facility. What I

might find here, I was uncertain of.

But my crime had provided me

access. As long as they believed

Scully's lie, that it was me lying on

my floor, I might learn truths here.

But, if our lies were discovered, both


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Scully and I would be discovered with

them.

----

I had come here looking for answers

hoping not only to lay bare this

conspiracy against the country and

the men behind it but to finallylearn the truth about the possibility

of intelligent extraterrestrial life.

Now with what I've heard my beliefs

seem more and more improbable. The

possibility of a cure for Scully

somewhere inside these walls is my

only hope but if I might find it and

somehow save her the very existence

of such a cure would mean with

certainty that I had believed in a lie

from the start.


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----

If Agent Scully and I had been led to

believe that the conspiracy meant to

destroy us has its roots in the

Department of Defense, that fact

seems all but irrefutable now. I have

gained access to a large storage

facility by a hallway connectingunderground to the Pentagon. On

hundreds of rows of shelves are

materials that reveal nothing to me

of a cure for Scully's cancer. And

now, as I have reached the terminusof this space, what appears to be an

old and antiquated filing system

seems my only hope of finding what

this man Kritschgau has assured me

exists. If his own desperate hope forhis son's cure has eluded him, I now


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share his desperation. That among

these drawers is a sign, a glimmer,

some small confirmation that the

journey which has brought me here

has not been in vain.

----

If I did indeed have the cure forScully's cancer, I was now as

dependent on her as she was on me.

As I had breached this facility I

needed to find my way out to

safety... depending on Scully to

weave her story, to tell her tale, to

make them believe the lie.


64/84

November 2, 1997

(Redux)

I had no way to reach Agent Mulder to tell

him what I had discovered - an unidentifiedmicroscopic life form whose very existence

held the possibility of revelation. Was this

organism extracted from the ice which had

entombed the alien corpse, the germ cell that

might give proof of extraterrestrial life, or

was it just the opposite? The scientifically

engineered creation of a chimera, an

unclassified biological product designed to

set up a hoax manufactured to create a false

set of beliefs that have long driven Agent

Mulder? (Mulder reaches another door with

a window and he sees women on tables with

big stomachs and grid pattern lights shiningon them) I now begin to realize that the

answer to this question might exist within

the life form itself, biological proof of this

connection to the cancer invading my body

to a virus living inside this organism to

which I had been exposed during my

abduction three years ago.

----


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The cruelest ironies are those consecrated by

the passage of time, chanced and occasioned

by shocking discovery. I had joined Agent

Mulder because of my background in the

medical sciences. My assignment was to

question his work, to debunk his

investigations, and rein him back into the

FBI mainstream. Now, as fate would have it,

I am calling on these very same skills to

prove that he has been the target of a scheme

orchestrated by someone close to us in the

FBI. Someone we have trusted above all

others. Involved in a highly organized plot

to keep a dangerous secret from the light of

day. I could only guess at what Agent

Mulder may have uncovered on his own,

what he may have found to confirm or deny

what he has long held to be a conspiracy tocontrol the public inquiry into government's

knowledge and contact with an alien race or

races. If he had hoped, as I do, to learn the

identity of those who sought to destroy us, I

had, with the discovery of this unidentified

microorganism, what could amount to

forensic evidence. Hard and undeniablegenetic evidence of the connection between


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the conspirators and the cancer which has

now metastasized in my bloodstream. I have

few short hours to conduct these tests before

I must appear before an FBI panel to explain

myself. And as I am ready to lie to them

about Agent Mulder, I am also ready to

confront them with proof. Proof extracted

from this tiny organism that could blow

open a conspiracy of global consequence.

----

If my work with Agent Mulder has tested

the foundation of my beliefs, science has

been and continues to be my guiding light.

Now I'm again relying on its familiar and

systematic methods to arrive at a truth, a fact

that might explain the fate that has befallenme. An investigation that began without,

now turning within. Taking cellular material

from the unidentified life form and isolating

a virus contained within it, then matching

the DNA from this virus with that which I

believe has caused my cancer. I hope a

picture will develop. A picture that mightconfirm my darkest suspicions about the

source of this disease invading my body in


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hope of obtaining evidence that its cause is

not without blame, even though its cure

remains unknown. If science serves me to

these ends... it is not lost on me that the tool

which I've come to depend on absolutely

cannot save or protect me... but only bring

into focus the darkness that lies ahead.


68/84

December 14, 1997

(Emily)

It begins where it ends... In nothingness. A

nightmare born from deepest fears, comingto me unguarded. Whispering images

unlocked from time and distance. A soul

unbound - touched by others but never held.

On a course charted by some unseen hand.

The journey ahead promising no more than

my past reflecting back upon me. Until at

last, I reach the end. Facing a truth I can no

longer deny. Alone, as ever.


69/84


70/84

Abuse exists, as does the blindness that

accompanies it. The pleading cries in the

night followed by the disturbing denial of

culpability: "If something bad happened, I

didnt see it." As witness to a horrific event,

I am forced to question the frequently

blurred line between right and wrong to

weigh the guilt of one mans act against

anothers to decide if justice was served or if

a grievous injustice has prevailed. And if

pressed on the subject of what happened that

last night in the orchard, I will speak as

truthfully as I can: If something bad

happened, I didnt see it.


71/84

March 1, 1998

(Patient X)

Before the exploration of space, of the moon

and the planets, man hailed that the heavenswere the home and province of powerful

gods who controlled not just the vast

firmament, but the earthly fate of man

himself and that the pantheon of powerful,

warring deities, was the cause and reason for

the human condition, for the past and the

future, and for which great monuments

would be created on earth as in heaven. But

in time man replaced these gods with new

gods and new religions that provided no

more certain or greater answers than those

worshipped by his Greek or Roman or

Egyptian ancestors. And while we've chosennow our monolithic and benevolent gods

and found our certainties in science,

believers all, we wait for a sign, a revelation.

Our eyes turn skyward ready to accept the

truly incredible to find our destiny written in

the stars. But how do we best look to see?

With new eyes or old?


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73/84


(One Son)

Two men, young, idealistic - the

fine product of a generation hardened

by world war. Two fathers whose

paths would converge in a new battle

- an invisible war between a silent

enemy and a sleeping giant on a scaleto dwarf all historical conflicts. A

50-years war, its killing fields lying

in wait for the inevitable global

holocaust.

Theirs was the dawn of

Armageddon. And while the world

was unaware, unwitting spectators to

the hurly-burly of the decades-long

struggle between heaven and earth

there were those who prepared for

the end; who measured the size and


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75/84

March 7, 1999

(Arcadia)

Several residents of the falls have now come

forward to blame the deaths in theneighborhood on Home Owner Association

President Gene Gogolak. These same

residents deny Agent Mulder's allegations

that they were in some sense all responsible

for the demise of Gogolak himself claiming

ignorance as to what actually killed him. It

would seem the code of silence that hid the

sins of this community has not only survived

but-- in its creator-- claimed a final victim.

Meanwhile, the Falls at Arcadia has been

named one of the top planned communities

in California for the sixth year running.


76/84

November 1, 1999

(Biogenesis)

From Space, it seems an abstraction-- a

magician's trick on a darkened stage. Andfrom this distance one might never imagine

that it is alive. It first appeared in the sea

almost four billion years ago in the form of

single-celled life. In an explosion of life

spanning millions of years, nature's first

multicellular organisms began to multiply...

and then it stopped. 440 million years ago, a

great mass extinction would kill off nearly

every species on the planet leaving the vast

oceans decimated and empty. Slowly, plants

began to evolve, then insects, only to be

wiped out in the second great mass

extinction upon the Earth. The cyclerepeated again and again. Reptiles emerging,

independent of the sea only to be killed off.

Then dinosaurs, struggling to life along with

the first birds, fish, and flowering plants -

their decimations Earth's fourth and fifth

great extinctions. Only 100,000 years ago,

Homo Sapiens appear-- man. From cavepaintings to the bible to Columbus and


77/84

Apollo 11, we have been a tireless force

upon the earth and off cataloguing the

natural world as it unfolds to us. Rising to a

world population of over five billion people

all descended from that original single cell,

that first spark of life. But for all our

knowledge, what no one can say for certain,

is what or who ignited that original spark. Is

there a plan, a purpose or a reason to our

existence? Will we pass, as those before us,

into oblivion, into the sixth extinction that

scientists warn is already in progress? Or

will the mystery be revealed through a sign,

a symbol, a revelation?

----

It began with an act of supreme violence-- abig bang expanding ever outward, cosmos

born of matter and gas, matter and gas ten

billion years ago. Whose idea was this? Who

had the audacity for such invention? And the

reason? Were we part of that plan ten billion

years ago? Are we born only to die? To be

fruitful and multiply and replenish the earthbefore giving way to our generations? If

there is a beginning, must there be an end?


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We burn like fires in our time only to be

extinguished. To surrender to the elements'

eternal reclaim. Matter and gas... will this all

end one day? Life no longer passing to life,

the Earth left barren like the stars above, like

the cosmos. Will the hand that lit the flame

let it burn down? Let it burn out? Could we,

too, become extinct? Or if this fire of life

living inside us is meant to go on, who

decides? Who tends the flames? Can he

reignite the spark even as it grows cold and

weak?


79/84

November 7, 1999

(The Sixth Extinction)

I came in search of something I did not

believe existed. I've stayed on now, in spiteof myself. In spite of everything I've ever

held to be true. I will continue here as long

as I can... as long as you are beset by the

haunting illness which I saw consume your

beautiful mind. What is this discovery I've

made? How can I reconcile what I see with

what I know? I feel this was meant not for

me to find but for you ... to make sense of --

make the connections which can't be

ignored... connections which, for me, deny

all logic and reason. What is this source of

power I hold in my hand -- this rubbing -- a

simple impression taken from the surface ofthe craft? I watched this rubbing take its

undeniable hold on you, saw you succumb

to its spiraling effect. Now I must work to

uncover what your illness prevents you from

finding. In the source of every illness lies its

cure.

----


80/84

I feel you slipping away from me with

every minute I fail here. What are the

elusive meanings I cannot see that are

hidden here? If I could understand it, know

how it affected you, learn how to use its

power to save you.

----

The work here is painstaking-- a slow and

tedious piecing together. It appears to be a

craft, its skin covered in the intricate

symbols you and I both saw but which I now

understand are part of a complex

communication. Dr. Barnes has broken

some of the symbols into letters using an

ancient Navajo alphabet and, though it has

helped to uncover some of what's here it hasalso made for greater confusion. On the top

surface of the craft I'm finding words

describing human genetics. Efforts to read

the bottom of the craft have been harder.

Our workers were scared away by

phenomena I admit I can't explain-- a sea of

blood, a swarm of insects. But what little wehave found has been staggering-- passages

from the Christian Bible, from pagan


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religions, from Ancient Sumeria... science

and mysticism conjoined. But more than

words, they are somehow imbued with

power. I've ignored warnings to quit this

work, remaining committed to finding

answers, afraid only that our secret here

won't last and that I might be too late.


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(Closure)

They said the birds refused to sing

and the thermometer fell suddenly as

if God Himself had His breath stolen

away. No one there dared speak

aloud, as much in shame as in

sorrow. They uncovered the bodiesone by one. The eyes of the dead

were closed as if waiting for

permission to open them. Were they

still dreaming of ice cream and

monkey bars? Of birthday cake andno future but the afternoon? Or had

their innocence been taken along with

their lives buried in the cold earth so

long ago? These fates seemed too

cruel, even for God to allow. Or arethe tragic young born again when the


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world's not looking? I want to believe

so badly; in a truth beyond our own

hidden and obscured from all but the

most sensitive eyes In the endless

procession of souls... in what cannot

and will not be destroyed. I want to

believe we are unaware of God's

eternal recompense and sadness. That

we cannot see His truth. That that

which is born still lives and cannot be

buried in the cold earth. But only

waits to be born again at God's

behest... where in ancient starlight

we lay in repose.


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April 9, 2000

(All Things)

Time passes in moments ... moments which,

rushing past define the path of a life just assurely as they lead towards its end. How

rarely do we stop to examine that path, to

see the reasons why all things happen, to

consider whether the path we take in life is

our own making or simply one into which

we drift with eyes closed. But what if we

could stop, pause to take stock of each

precious moment before it passes? Might we

then see the endless forks in the road that

have shaped a life? And, seeing those

choices, choose another path?

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