The Success Method

THE

SUCCESS

METHOD

!

9 Simple Steps to a

Life that Makes

Sense

by Amy Scott Grant

The Success Method

2005 !" Grant Galaxy LLC. All rights reserved. Page 2

2005 Amy Scott Grant and Grant Galaxy, LLC The Success Method: 9 Simple Steps to a Life That Makes Sense

A Grant Galaxy Publication The Success Method and Leisure Rate are Trademarks of Grant Galaxy, LLC All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage or retrieval system, except as may be expressly permitted by the 1976 Copyright Act or in writing by the author. Requests for permission should be addressed to the contact email provided at http://www.GrantGalaxy.com.

The Success Method


CHAPTER INDEX

Page#

5 Acknowledgements 6 Forward 7 Chapter 1: An Honest Assessment.

13 Exercise #1: Commitment

15 Chapter 2: Time: Is It Slipping Through Your Fingers?

20 Exercise #2: Time vs. Priorities 20 Part I: Tracking a Typical Week 29 Part II: Where Does It All Go? 37 Chart: Sample Week Breakdown (Pie Chart) 43 Exercise #3: Fork in the Road

45 Chapter 3: Priorities: The Toughest Questions Youve Never Answered

46 Exercise #4: You Deserve It

50 Exercise #5: Prioritizing Life 55 Chapter 4: Three Things No One Taught You

about Goals

66 Exercise #6: Defining Purpose 76 Exercise #7: Goal Setting 79 Chapter 5: Now that You Know Where Youre

Going, How Will You Get There?

90 Exercise #8: Planning for Success 94-95 Worksheet: Blank Action Plan Forms

97 Chapter 6: The Myth of Time Management

100 Exercise #9: Cost of Disorganization 102 Chart: Whats Your Time Worth? (Salary)

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Page# Chapter 6, contd 103 Chart: Whats Your Time Worth? (Hourly) 110 Exercise #10: Determining Your Leisure Rate 122 Chart: The Worry Wheel

125 Chapter 7: Stop Creating Your Own Stress!

127 Exercise #11: Stress Assessment 142 Chapter 8: Massive Action and Focus,

Followed by More Massive Action and Focus

149 Exercise #12: No More Excuses 151 Exercise #13: Massive Action Begins Now 153 Chapter 9: Making Minor Course

Corrections to Stay on Target

157 Poem: Dont Quit 159 Exercise #14: Tracking Your Progress 164 Exercise #15: Personal Inventory

170 Extra Stuff

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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

For my best friend and soul mate Andy, who supports me

far beyond the limits of a reasonable person.

In exchange, I offer all my love, all my life.

For Sally, that she may grow to love, learn and live the

balanced life.

For my sister Susan and my closest friends (you know

who you are) who encourage me to fearlessly think

bigger and BE greater, especially when the stakes are

high and Im scared.

For God, who provides the message in unlimited supply.

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FORWARD

Many people die with their music still in them. Why is

this so? Too often it is because they are always getting

ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out.

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

I developed the information in The Success Method years ago. It is only now that you have the opportunity to read it, because the words have been suppressed for yearsnot by publishers, not by editors, not by censors, but by yours truly. I wasted years of my life, denying the story inside me, making excuses why it would never work, why no one would buy it, why it was pointless to even try. But every so often, it would come to the surface and calmly demand: WRITE ME. Do you have a dream like that?

Like a balloon full of air we attempt to submerge underwater, it takes so much effort to hold it down, to deny it, to crush it or cover it up. As soon as we let up just a little, it shoots to the surface of our consciousness, demanding to be set free. I attempted to deny the message inside of me for so long that when I finally stopped resisting and started writing, the words literally poured from me like a faucet. If used properly, The Success Method will help you face your own dream and get moving, instead of squashing its creative expression. You can experience great release and pure joy as you stop resisting and start living. Now, are you ready to get started?

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Chapter 1:

An Honest

Assessment

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Ancient Wisdom:

When the student is ready, the teacher appears.

What exactly are you searching for right now?

Its kind of funny to think that I wrote this manual at a particular time, and you came looking for this same information at a particular time. Well, not so much funny as intriguing. Think about it, you chose this particular product at this particular moment for a very specific reason, known only to you. Though the reason may seem fuzzy now, it will become crystal clear by the time you complete this entire Method. You bought this because you want success.or so you say. Im sure many people will read the first few pages

and then put the Method down forever when they reach the first or second exercise; its just human nature. I have confidence that YOU are here because YOU really want something better. YOU will do the exercises because YOU are committed to a better life. The experts say it takes three weeks of consistent behavior to begin form a habit. The Method is designed to be completed over a period of nine weeks, to ensure your habits are fully cemented by the time you finish. Make the decision right now commit to read one chapter per week and do EVERY exercise fully, as often as recommended without fail. That part is particularly important.

Do you say you want success, but then refuse to commit to take the necessary action to do so?

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Are you familiar with the 80/20 Rule? It applies to many people-related events, and The Success Method is no exception. The 80/20 rule is derived from the Pareto principle, which demonstrates that in many cases, 80% of all consequences are a result of 20% of the causes. In other words, 80% of success stories from The Success Method will likely stem from only 20% of those who

purchase the product. In fact, its likely that 80% of people who buy The Success Method will never finish it, or may never even crack the cover. Does that number surprise you? Some industry experts claim the actual percentage may be much higher. The Method is not written for the 80% who are not committed to a total life makeover. Its written for you personally, who is taking a stake right now in your personal future. No one can help you until you are ready to commit to your own self-improvement. The Method is written for the 20% (or less) who will commit, follow through, and will consequently reap great rewards.

Which category will you choose? The outcome rests solely on your choice in the matter. Make the decision right now to be included in the percentage of readers who succeed. Why did you buy this? What exactly are you seeking? Take a moment to jot down your reasons: __________________________________________ __________________________________________ __________________________________________

__________________________________________

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The title of this chapter is An Honest Assessment, because its important to take a look at where you are and where youre headed before we begin the program. Did you take the time to find a pen and write down your answer? If so, were you completely honest with yourself in your answer? If no, why not?

This manual is for you, and only you. If success and balance are truly what you seek, it is imperative that you complete the exercises with the naked truth; otherwise, you will cheat yourself out of top-notch results. Here is an opportunity for you to complete the exercise again, with total honesty this time. Why did you choose The Success Method? __________________________________________ __________________________________________

__________________________________________ __________________________________________ Are you searching for a way to reduce stress in your life, improve your health, figure out your next move, save your marriage, become a better parent, friend, spouse, child, student, employee, or person? Did you grab hold of this method because you feel lost and confused and youre clinging to the glimmer of hope that this Method could be the answer youve been searching for? Perhaps you think your life is going along OK and youd just like

to ramp things up a little. Whatever the reason, its

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important to consider what you expect to gain from the Success Method. What does success mean to you?

I invite you to spend the next few minutes reflecting on why youre seeking success. Focus on what you want, not what you dont want. For example, what you dont want might sound something like this: When I have success, I wont be as stressed, I wont feel as tired at the end of every day, and I wont be depressed any more. Youll achieve better results by rephrasing it to say,

When I achieve success, my life will improve because my health will improve, I will gain more energy, and I can learn to be at peace in my life. I will be doing what Ive always dreamed of doing. Take a moment to list three ways in which your life will improve by achieving success: 1. ____________________________________________ ______________________________________________ 2. ____________________________________________

______________________________________________

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3. ____________________________________________ ______________________________________________ Now close your eyes and imagine what it will be like to have achieved a sense of success in your life, when the three improvements you listed become true. Make sure

you repeat this step every day during your first week, and any time throughout the nine weeks when youre feeling like you want to quit. Are you wondering what it will take to be successful with The Success Method? The Method works, period. However, the system only works to the extent that you are willing to work it. To be successful with this nine-step program, you simply must make the decision to:

Study one chapter per week for nine weeks. Read each chapter at least twice. Reflect on what youve read and how it applies to

your life. Perform every exercise fully, as often as

recommended. Continue until you have completed the final page.

A final key ingredient in this process is to trust in the system. Some people may feel inclined to rush ahead or skip steps, without spending an entire week on a single chapter. Keep in mind that your way of doing things has brought you too this point in your life, and here you are, seeking help. The Success Method works best when followed to the

letter. Its up to you to trust the process and follow the instructions. When you complete the program, the

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rewards you experience will help you understand and appreciate the discipline that was required for you to complete the program. If you didnt take the time to fill in the blanks to the three questions above, youll have another chance to do it tomorrow when you repeat this chapter. Of course, you

can always add new answers that may surface in your mind. You will notice that we have included lots of space in the manual, so feel free to make notes or reminders in the margin. Its a great idea to highlight any quotes or insights that you find particularly useful as you work your way through The Success Method. Its time to test your commitment now, with your first official exercise. Lets see how you do.

EXERCISE #1: COMMITMENT

To demonstrate your nine-week commitment to complete the Success Method, your first exercise is to sign and date the statement of commitment on the following page. On each subsequent day during the first week, rewrite the entire statement in a notebook or journal, sign each copy and read it out aloud. This is an important step because writing is far more powerful than silent reading, and the combination of writing and reading aloud makes a strong impression on your mind, because you will use three of your five senses (sight, sound and touch). Each day, this exercise will

assist you in strengthening your personal commitment

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and resolve to balance your life by following the steps outlined for you in The Success Method. Remember to read your answers to the previous questions before performing the exercise each day. Some of you may already be wondering why you have to stay on this one short chapter for a full seven days. You want

to skip ahead to the good stuff. It is essential that you trust the process and get in touch with your reasons for completing the program. This will make your end result far more attainable. Statement of Commitment:

I hereby commit to read The Success Method all the way to the end. I will complete each exercise fully and wholeheartedly as often as recommended. I will complete one chapter per week for the next nine weeks. I am committed to making lasting changes in my life, to better myself and my world.

Signed, ___________________________________________ Date: Remember, to rewrite the entire statement every day this week (you can use the back of this page or a separate sheet of paper). Track your performance by checking the appropriate box for each day that you complete this exercise.

Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 Day 6 Day 7

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Chapter 2:

Time:

Is It Slipping

Through Your

Fingers?

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Like sands through the hourglass,

so are the days of our lives.

The Days of Our Lives

Television Soap Opera What a depressing way to view life!

Unfortunately, if youre currently going through life at full-speed without any sense of balance, you probably feel as though time is slipping through your fingers just like sand. In this chapter, well discover where the time goes when it slips out of your grasp. Think about this: How many people truly know what is important in their life? You can poll your family and friends with these two questions:

1. What is the single most important thing in your life?

2. Is the majority of your time each day devoted

directly to the answer in #1? In my personal experience, less than five percent (

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it frequently in my weblog and I tend to go in-depth about the topic during seminars and personal coaching sessions. Just the other day, I was coaching an amazing woman who was literally almost at her breaking point. She said she felt trapped in her current situation, because she was stuck in such a nasty work situation. When I asked her the second question (about whether she was

spending her time appropriately based on her lifes #1 priority) the answer wasnt just no it was hell no! No wonder she felt paralyzedwhen your answers to these two basic questions are incongruent, you can only feel stressed out, stuck, trapped, disappointed, disillusioned, frustrated and yes, paralyzed. The fact is, most people dont spend the majority of their time on what is truly most important to them they are too busy worrying about the future, living in the past, or blaming someone else for their current situation. The sad truth is that many people are missing out on the

one area where we all have true control:

the HERE and NOW.

Now lets take a look at where your time is spent. The way you spend your time is either an indication of what you value, or the result of your daily habits. Before you complete the next exercise, take a moment to quickly write down your own answers to the two questions (dont think about it too long, just write what jumps to mind first):

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1. What is the single most important thing in your life?

______________________________________

______________________________________

2. Is the majority of your time each day devoted

directly to what you answered in question #1?

_____ YES _____ NO The results of the following exercise may surprise you. You may think, Wait, thats not important to me at all. Why do I spend so much time on it? Excellent question! Well get to the answer in a minute, but first things first lets do the exercise.

The following seven-day exercise will show you whether your current time allocation is congruent with what you believe are your true values and priorities. Do this exercise for a full seven days, preferably during a typical week (in other words, dont pick a week when youre on vacation, or during Christmas week, for example). Some of you may be feeling a little resistant to doing this exercise. Perhaps youre wondering why you cant simply estimate a typical week, or track your time for just one or two days. Its important to trust the system here and perform the exercise exactly as its prescribed. Dont get too caught up in how it works or why it works, just

trust that it does work and follow the instructions to the letter.

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Have you ever started a diet where you were supposed to write down everything you ate? At some point, you probably found yourself sneaking a bite of this or a taste of that. Naturally, you didnt write those down, because crumbs dont count, right? The same effect occurs with money. If a person is asked

to track every single penny as its spent, even the most meticulous record-keeper will be surprised to observe the way his or her carrying cash disappears on frivolous expenses or impulse buys. Time works in much the same way, as we are about to demonstrate. Whether youre talking about a diet, a budget or a timeline, its true that the occasional variation from your plan will have minimal impact. However, the continued repetition over time can develop seriously adverse results. After all, no one gets fat or broke overnight. It is always a result of the accumulation of seemingly harmless or insignificant choices.

Our minds play tricks on us, and we have convenient memories. The best way to obtain an accurate picture of your current situation and time-habits is to complete this daily exercise. Future exercises and chapters will build on this one, so your answers here will be important during your next steps in The Success Method. So be sure to take this exercise seriously and do it exactly the way its recommended. Now, remember your commitment from chapter one? Honor that commitment you made and complete this exercise for a full seven days. Your persistence and

tenacity will pay dividends soon enough. The proof will be evident in your results.

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EXERCISE #2: TIME vs. PRIORITIES

Part I: Tracking a Typical Week

For the next seven days, use the following time logs to record everything you do and how long it takes you to do it. If its not convenient or practical to carry this manual

with you for the next seven days, you can either photocopy the tracking pages, or print blank logs from our website. Youll find the URL in the back of this workbook. Its best to update your logs at least three times per day, and meal times may serve as an excellent reminder. NOTE: Resist the urge to wait until the end of the day to update the entire log because in doing so, you are sure to forget or conveniently remember certain aspects of the day. To simplify the timekeeping process, round up or round down to the nearest fifteen (15) minute interval. (It may be far too cumbersome and time-consuming to track

exact minutes.) Only use the first three columns for this part: Time Start, Time Stop, and Description of Activity. For now, ignore the last 2 columns of the form, called Total Time and Category. Well use those later, in Part II of the exercise. As you complete this exercise, simply write down your time as it is spent, without judgment or justification. At this point, you are not making changes; you are merely observing and recording the current situation. It doesnt matter what day of the week you start on, because youll

keep tracking for an entire week. A completed sample form is provided for your reference.

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SAMPLE TIME LOG

DAY 3 DAY: Tuesday DATE: 8/29

Time

Start

Time

Stop Description of Activity

Total

Time Cat

10PM 6AM Sleep

6AM 6:45AM Shower/dress

6:45AM 7AM Breakfast

7AM 8AM Drive to work

8AM 11AM meetings - comp plan

11AM 12N Work on Jones Report

12N 1PM Lunch

1PM 1:30PM Returned phone calls

1:30PM 2:45PM Payroll

2:45PM 3PM Called the kids

3PM 4:30PM Meeting - Jones case

4:30PM 5:30PM Meeting w/boss

5:30PM 7:00PM Drive home

7:00PM 7:40PM Dinner

7:40PM 9PM Played with kids

9PM 11PM Watched TV till bedtime

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DAILY TIME LOG: DAY 1

DAY 1 DAY: _______________ DATE: _____

Time

Start

Time


Total

Time Cat

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DAY 2 DAY: _______________ DATE: _____

Time

Start

Time


Total

Time Cat

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DAY 3 DAY: _______________ DATE: _____

Time

Start

Time


Total

Time Cat

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DAY 4 DAY: _______________ DATE: _____

Time

Start

Time


Total

Time Cat

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DAY 5 DAY: _______________ DATE: _____

Time

Start

Time


Total

Time Cat

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DAY 6 DAY: _______________ DATE: _____

Time

Start

Time


Total

Time Cat

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DAY 7 DAY: _______________ DATE: _____

Time

Start

Time


Total

Time Cat

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Congratulations! You have just completed the most tedious exercise in the entire Method, and its all downhill from here. Take a moment to pat yourself on the back for keeping your commitment to do all the exercises. Its important to acknowledge our successes, and the promises we keep.

EXERCISE #2: TIME vs. PRIORITIES

Part II: Where Does It All Go? Go back through your completed logs and subtotal the amount of time spent per activity on each day. Once again, here is our sample log: SAMPLE TIME LOG

DAY 3 DAY: TUESDAY DATE: 8/29

Time

Start

Time


Total

Time Cat

10PM 6AM Sleep 8:00

6AM 6:45AM Shower/dress 0:45

6:45AM 7AM Breakfasts 0:15

7AM 8AM Drive to work 1:00

8AM 11AM meetings - comp plan 3:00

11AM 12N Work on Jones Report 1:00

12N 1PM Lunch 1:00

1PM 1:30PM Returned phone calls 0:30

1:30PM 2:45PM Payroll 1:15

2:45PM 3PM Called the kids 0:15

3PM 4:30PM Meeting - Jones case 1:30

4:30PM 5:30PM Meeting w/boss 1:00

5:30PM 7:00PM Drive home 1:30

7:00PM 7:45PM Dinner 0:45

7:45PM 9PM Played with kids 1:15

9PM 11PM Watched TV till bedtime 2:00

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For the next step, review each days log and use the

following information to categorize each activity in the final column, appropriately labeled Cat. Column Five: Category Key

Use the letters A through G to indicate the most appropriate category (Personal Essentials, Personal Benefits, Productive Work, Non-Productive Work, Relaxation, Donations and Escape) for each activity, as defined by the followings: A Personal Essentials. This category includes time during your daily routine

when you meet essential needs like bathing, dressing, personnel hygiene, eating, sleeping, etc.

B Personal Benefits. Here, include time spent taking care of yourself, beyond mere survival needs, such as: exercising, inspirational reading, meditation, prayer, massage, quality time with loved ones, etc. Dont be alarmed if this category is exceptionally low (or non-existent).

C Productive Work. Productive work is defined as any action that moves you toward the accomplishment of a specific goal.

Alternatively, for a stay-at-home parent, this category is defined as any action required for maintaining a happy, healthy home, such as: laundry, necessary errands, driving the kids to school or extracurricular activities, cooking, grocery shopping or paying bills. Students would include school work and class time in this category.

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D Non-productive Work. This category would include commute time, useless meetings, brown-nosing, coffee breaks, non-business lunches, re-organizing your desk, shooting the breeze with co-workers, etc. For a stay-at-home parent, this could include activities like excessive cleaning, organizing sock drawers, alphabetizing the pantry,

coupon-clipping, window shopping, sitting in traffic while running errands, etc.

E Relaxation. This category is fairly self-explanatory and can include activities such as leisurely walks, golf, swimming for fun, playing Frisbee, catnaps, games, reading for pleasure, fun times with loved ones, hobbies, attending a class for fun, and any other leisure sport or recreational activity.

F Donations. Use the Donations category for volunteer work, helping others in need, PTA, church work, and any other activity

where you are donating your time in some capacity.

G Escapes. The Escapes category encompasses any action (or inaction) you use to wind down, by escaping from the pressures and busy-ness of the day. This category is for time spent reading the newspaper, watching television, gossiping, aimlessly surfing the internet, playing video games, complaining, and any other activity used to procrastinate or kill time. Our fully completed sample log is on the following page.

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SAMPLE TIME LOG

DAY 3 DAY: TUESDAY DATE: 8/30

Time

Start

Time

Stop

Description of

Activity

Total

Time Cat

10PM 6AM Sleep 8:00 A

6AM 6:45AM Shower/dress 0:45 A

6:45AM 7AM Breakfast 0:15 A

7AM 8AM Drive to work 1:00 D

8AM 11AM meetings - comp plan 3:00 C

11AM 12N Work on Jones Report 1:00 C

12N 1PM Lunch w/Bernie 1:00 D

1PM 1:30PM Returned phone calls 0:30 C

1:30PM 2:45PM Payroll 1:15 C

2:45PM 3PM Called the kids 0:15 D

3PM 4:30PM Meeting - Jones case 1:30 D

4:30PM 5:30PM Meeting w/boss 1:00 D

5:30PM 7:00PM Drive home 1:30 D

7:00PM 7:40PM Dinner 0:45 A

7:40PM 9PM Played with kids 1:15 E

9PM 11PM Watched TV till bedtime 2:00 G

Did you have trouble selecting a category for any of your activities?

Did you notice that certain activities may seem to fit into more than one category? If you took a good look at our sample log, you may be wondering why we counted lunch as Category D: Non-Productive Work Time in our sample time log. In our example, the one-hour lunch with Bernie consisted of approximately seven (7) minutes of actual eating (Category A), while the remaining 53 minutes were spent

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complaining about the new accounting guidelines with Bernie, so we took the liberty of counting the whole hour as non-productive work time. Similarly, we designated the afternoon activity called the kids as Category D because it nearly turned into a shouting match over what TV program they were going to watch. Context is everything here.

Its important to use your own judgment when categorizing your activities. For example, attending church services may be considered a Personal Benefit to one individual, yet it may be better suited as a Donation or Escape to another person. Because YOU are the person living YOUR life, only YOU know the best way to categorize each activity. If you get stuck on any one line, you can either go with the first category that springs to mind, or just go with your gut feeling. Either way, just be honest so you can glean the maximum benefit from the exercise.

Once youve categorized every activity, you can proceed to the final step. Total your time spent in each category (add up all the As, all the Bs, all the Cs, etc.) and use the chart on the next page to enter your totals. Weve used our sample log to help you see how its done. NOTE: Your numbers will be much higher than those reflected in the sample summary because we only included one day in our sample and your totals are for a whole week. HELPFUL HINT:

You may want to convert your time into decimals to make calculation easier. For example, thirty minutes =

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0:30 = 0.5 hours; fifteen minutes = 0:15 = 0.25 hours; forty-five minutes = 0:45 = 0.75 hours. Dont worry, this is the only math youll be required to do in this entire workbook! SAMPLE SUMMARY BY CATEGORY

A: Personal Essentials 9:45 = 9.75 B: Personal Benefits 0 C: Productive Work 5:45 = 5.75 D: Non-Productive 6:15 = 6.25 E: Relaxation 1:15 = 1.25 F: Donations 0 G: Escapes 2:00 = 2.00 In the sample, for category A we added 8 hours + 0.75 + 0.25 + 0.75 = 9.75 total hours. We did this for each category, and only the totals are listed above. Simple, right? Now lets add up your categories and complete the

summary by category on the next page. This reflects your typical week, in a nutshell. Helpful Hint:

The total number of hours in a week is 168 hours.

SEVEN-DAY TIME LOG

SUMMARY BY CATEGORY

A: Personal Essentials: B: Personal Benefits:

C: Productive Work:

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D: Non-Productive: E: Relaxation: F: Donations:

G: Escapes: TOTAL HOURS:

Are you surprised by your results? Many people report feeling alarmed or disappointed by the high number of non productive work hours (Category D), and the low number of personal benefits hours (Category B). Is this summary how you expected your typical week to break down?

YES NO If you answered no, why not? If you answered yes, you probably already knew your time was not congruent with your values, but you may

not have been aware of the size of the gap.

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Now turn back to page eighteen (18) where you listed the single most important thing in your life. According to your time logs, how much time are you spending in that area during a typical week?

____________________ hours

Now you are able to draw the following conclusion: Is the way youre spending your time congruent with your top priority? YES NO If you answered no, dont worry. Continue through The Success Method to learn how to restructure your time in

order to align your time with your priority. Even if you answered yes, you will soon learn ways to streamline your time to get the most out of life. For your reference, a typical week could be presented visually like the pie chart on the following page.

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By now it may be becoming clear why your life seems to lack balance and order, and why your stress levels are so high. Its no wonder you feel overwhelmedyou are most likely spending too much time on the wrong activities! Doesnt it make sense that a successful life would be one

spent according to your priorities? Now list below all the reasons why your life is structured the way it is, including all your justifications that explain why you must do the things you are doing. List every reason you can muster as to why youre stuck where you are and your situation cant be changed:

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You might want to sit down, because what happens next will probably shock you. Everything you just wrote is a bunch of baloney.

Thats right Im serious. You call them reasons but they are really rationalizations. Your justifications are nothing more than excuses. You say but I have to do this or that and I say no, you only have to pay taxes and die. And some would argue that the tax-thing is negotiable.

YOU HAVE A CHOICE.

Every day when you wake up, you have a choice as to how you will spend that day. You can choose how you will spend every minute of every hour of every day.

I know that right now some of you are mentally pleading, But no, you really dont understand MY situation. See, I have no choice because (insert excuse here). Granted, some excuses might seem better than others, but nevertheless, they are all just excuses. Many of the people Ive coached have been in your shoes at some point. (Hey, Ive been there myself, believe me.) Some of the people Ive coached started out telling me all the reasons why what I was suggesting wouldnt work. At first, I used to wonder why people would pay me so much money to help them when they didnt really want

to hear what I had to say.

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I believe its because change is uncomfortable. If it was, you wouldnt be reading this right now. You would you just do what needed to be done, you wouldnt need me to kick you in the butt to get you to do it (and neither would the people I coach). But if that were the case, I suppose Id be out of work.

When I started to recognize this about peoplethat they dont like to change, that they feel more comfortable hiding behind their excusesthats when I realized I could help people who really wanted help. Thats why I created the Success Method, and thats why I enjoy one-on-one coaching and dynamic seminars. When I witness someone having a breakthrough and I know that I helped them to achieve thatthat is absolutely the best reward I could possibly receive. It makes all the long nights of writing, the endless phone conversations, and all the long traveling days seem completely worthwhile. I have to admit, when the person

I helped is a parent, I feel twice as excited, because I know Ive not only helped the parent, but the children too. That is truly an awesome feeling. Trust me, Ive been where you are right now. I spent years believing my own excuses why I wasnt good enough to help people in this way. For starters, I didnt have enough time, because I was working 60 hours per week at a job I hated. Plus, I believed I was too young to be an expert on anything. I also thought I needed a PhD before anyone would read anything I wrote. I had more limiting beliefs that you can shake a stick at. Now I can see that all these excuses amounted to a big pile of

hooey, but at the time I believed these were truly valid reasons for ignoring my calling.

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Right now, youre able to read this and take steps to change your life because I was tired of accepting my own excuses, and I finally mustered enough courage to start doing what I was called to do. Imagine if I had continued to hide behind my validations and justificationshow many women and men (and children) might still be stuck, because I didnt have the courage to help myself in

order to help them. Fortunately, I did have the courage and I continue to help people achieve amazing results and create incredible lives for themselves and their families. You have the ability to do the samein fact, you can do anything you want to do. Anyway, thats enough about me. Lets talk about you and all the excuses you wrote down a couple of pages back. Are you still buying them, or are you starting to see that its all junk thinking? Take a look at other successful people who succeeded against all odds. Did Lance Armstrong say why bother when he got

cancer? Did Christopher Reeves give up after his crippling accident? Did Helen Keller say whats the point because of her physical limitations? Did Anne Frank hide behind her persecution? OK, so Anne Frank actually was in hiding. Nevertheless, these are all valid examples of people who refused to hide behind their excuses and circumstances. I talk to a lot of people who hide behind their health issues. In fact, the other day a woman was telling me that she couldnt begin an exercise program because she was too overweight. This may sound ridiculous to some, but it made perfect sense to her. By using the techniques in The

Success Method, I was able to help her see how this kind

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of thinking was keeping her stuck instead of moving her forward. Uh-oh, I can hear it now. Here comes your next excuse: But they were special and I am just an ordinary person. Sorry, Im not buying that one either. The only difference between ordinary people and extraordinary people is

that little something extra the willingness to strive for more. We are all capable of being extraordinary.

Yep, even you. Especially you. Lets face it, if your goal is to remain ordinary, why on earth would you have bought this Method? Take a look around you and youll find people who are stressed out, off-balance and (gasp!) ordinary. Werent you seeking a better lifean extraordinary lifewhen you decided to purchase this

Success Method? Didnt you have at least a ray of hope that your life could be more than what you summarized on page 34-35? Some peoples excuses are so ingrained that they dont even see them as excuses. But you must be willing to let go of your excuses if you want to benefit from the Success Method. Think about it this way: whats more important to you: staying comfortable or having success? Having success (balance, joy, peace, wealth, whatever success means to you) means giving up your excuses. Youve tried it your way, and thats gotten you this far in

life (for proof, refer back to your painful truth back on page 9). Benjamin Franklin defined insanity as doing the

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exact same thing over and over again while expecting different results. Are you content to remain ordinary and keep doing it your way, even though the results arent what you really want? Or are you willing to get uncomfortable and try something different which may lead to a better way?

Its time to ask yourself: are you brave enough to keep reading? Will you have the integrity to keep the commitment you made to continue on this nine-week journey? Exactly how important is what you listed as the single most important thing in your life? Hopefully it matters enough for you to take a chance and continue this journey. Either way, its completely your choice. EXERCISE #3: FORK IN THE ROAD

Choose only one: ____ Stop here. Go back to your life the way it is. ____ Continue the journey. Keep reading. If youre reading this now, you chose to continue the journey. Be sure to pat yourself on the back once again for a job well-done. It may not get any easier, but your life definitely gets better from this point forward. Take a moment to jot down any congratulatory remarks

youd like to tell yourself in honor of keeping this important (and not always easy) commitment:

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My style in this Method may challenge you to make some radical changes in your thinking. But if you do, and you stick with this program, the rewards will amaze you. With balance, your life will be better than you could have imagined, you will feel healthier and experience a lot less stress. However, you must trust this process and continue the Success Method for the full nine weeks in order to enjoy the full benefits.

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Chapter 3:

Priorities:

The Toughest

Questions

Youve Never

Answered

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The indispensable first step to getting the things you

want out of life is this: decide what you want.

Ben Stein, Actor and Author Now would be a good time to stop and pat yourself on

the back for a job well done. Many people will buy The Success Method yet never bother to do anything with it. Some will begin reading, only to give up at some point because its too hard, it takes too much time, its silly, it doesnt make sense, or any other lame excuse. YOU, on the other hand, have persevered up to this point, and you deserve credit for keeping your commitment to yourself. Congratulations! EXERCISE #4: YOU DESERVE IT

Speaking of keeping commitments, remember when you

agreed to do ALL the exercises in the Method? That includes the ones that may make you feel silly or uncomfortable, like this one might do. Go to the nearest mirror. Look yourself in the eyes, and say the following statements out loud: You deserve a successful life.

Your friends and family deserve to experience the

best of you.

You deserve to be happy.

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For added impact, repeat this exercise using the first and third persons. In other words, continue to look in the mirror as you speak in the first person: I deserve a successful life.

My friends and family deserve to experience the best

of me.

I deserve to be happy.

Finally, repeat the exercise in the third person, substituting your name in place of each blank: ______________ deserves a successful life.

______________s friends and family deserve to

experience the best of _____________.

______________ deserves to be happy. By repeating the statements in first, second and third person, it covers all angles: you saying it from your own perspective, another person saying it to you, and someone else saying it about you. This is an effective technique for any positive affirmation. Especially for schizophrenics. OK, only joking about that last part!

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At first, you may feel silly doing this. Thats OK, do it anyway. You committed to do ALL the exercises, so dont skip this one. Repeat this exercise every day for one week. You deserve it! Keep track of your progress with this chart: Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 Day 6 Day 7

If you choose not to do the exercise, you might as well put this whole Method down right now, or give it away to someone else who is willing to take commitment seriously. If you wont do this simple exercise, how will you complete the tougher ones ahead? Lets continue talking about choices.

If each day is a series of choices, learn to be a picky

eater.

The choices you make throughout each and every day are invisibly governed by your deep-seated beliefs. If you believe that people are just supposed to be stressed-out, you will continuously find yourself in situations where you are the one who feels stressed out. You are convinced that is the way things have to be. Thats life! you might say. The interesting thing is that you put yourself into those situations because of your beliefs.

The choices youve made up until now were based on what you felt you must do. By learning to change your

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thinking, you will soon make choices based on your desired outcomes. Personal Choices

I used to think I always had to have everything under control. I was what you might call a control freak. I

thought I had to be all things to all people to get attention and to be important. I can now tell you from personal experience that its very hard to control everything at once. The end result is a lot of stress and heartache. Add some depression to the mix when you realize youre not perfect. But remember that no one is perfect all the time. Ive learned to accept that, and consequently Ive changed my thinking to focus on what I can do (instead of trying to do it all, even the stuff that really doesnt matter.) The result is that now Ive become unstoppable! Strange as it may sound, Im actually glad I used to be the way I was. It now offers me a unique perspective

when Im dealing with control freaks. Not only was it an outstanding learning experience for me to overcome my control freakishness, but Ive gained insight into others. Because Ive experienced that lifestyle for myself, I know where the control freak is coming from, and Im better able to coach them into a better way of living, and therefore, a better life. (Assuming thats what they really want. Some people refuse to sacrifice the stress because they dont know if they can handle life without chaos. Well talk more about that later.) Now lets take a look at your priorities.

For this next exercise, please keep in mind that NO ONE except you will read what you write (unless you choose

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to share your information, which I dont recommend.). Its time to be totally honest. The problem with most self-help stuff is it only works for people who can be totally honest about where they are and what they want. Unfortunately, most people have an inherent sense of guilt about wanting things for themselves they are

raised to believe it is more honorable to do for others than to take care of oneself. What a load of bull! How can you possibly take care of another person when your own needs arent being met? Think about itpart of the air travel safety briefing instructs us to put on our own oxygen mask before assisting another person with their mask. This valuable advice ensures that your basic survival needs are met before you attempt to assist someone else with their needs. You are taking care of your needs by completing the Success Method and being honest during your journey. Didnt you buy this Method so that you could take care

of yourself and therefore be of more service to others? You are seeking success in your life. The best way to achieve balance right now is to trust this process and remember to first take care of your own needs. It is impossible to share from an empty cup.

Fill your cup first! It is perfectly OK for you to be selfish when you are reading and completing the exercises in the Method. Remember, no one will read your answers except you.

EXERCISE #5: PRIORITIZING LIFE

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In the space provided, list the five most important priorities in your life. This can include people, passions, projects, your profession, your stamp collection, anything thats really important to you. Here are a couple of important rules to remember as you complete this exercise:

1. Only one person, place or thing can appear on each

line. If you are married with two kids, you cannot list family as a single item. You must list each person individually, assuming they fit into your top five.

2. Honesty is imperative here. Do not list what you

think you should list, what other people would want you to list, or what everyone expects you to list. This list is for your eyes only, so be completely honest. You may feel guilty if you leave someone out, and thats OK. With only

five slots to fill, you cant possibly include everyone and everything thats important to you. Thats the whole point of the exercise. Just take a deep breath and do it.

3. You do not need to organize your list by order of

importance. (Whew!)

4. This list should be representative of your five absolute most important reasons for being alive. No sample is provided because youd be too tempted to compare yourself (its like Im in your head, right?). This is all about you, and should

come from your heart.

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5. Usually, whatever comes to mind first is representative of your true feelings. Dont be afraid to go with your gut here.

MY FIVE MOST IMPORTANT

LIFE PRIORITIES ARE:

1. _______________________________________ 2. _______________________________________ 3. _______________________________________ 4. _______________________________________

5. _______________________________________ Take a moment to review the list you just wrote. Does it feel accurate? (Theres no right or wrong heredont make yourself wrong for something you did or didnt include on the list.) Did you follow your heart and were you completely honest? If not, please make any necessary adjustments before proceeding any further. When your top five list is complete, circle the single most important priority in your life. I can practically hear

you asking questions now and the answers are: No, you cant circle two, even if they are seemingly related. No,

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you cant change your answers. No, you cant quit here. Choose only one item from your list of five priorities. Take your time and make your selection now. Dont worry if you experienced a certain amount of guilt while completing this exercise. Of course, dont over-analyze yourself if you didnt experience any guilt during

the exercise. Be careful not to judge yourself or your answers, because denial leaves no room for change! Accept where you are right now, and keep this list in mind as you proceed through the next few chapters. Now that you know what is most important to you, ask yourself: is this congruent with how I spend my time? When time is spent in congruence with priorities, balance

is the natural result.

On the other hand, when our daily activity does not reflect our true priorities, stress is created because we are out of balance with our true nature. Probably the most likely reason that we choose to remain out of balance is because we deny our top priority. We are fooled by society and by our family and friends. We tell ourselves that our first priority has to be our career, our children, our spouse, our church, or any number of other noble callings, otherwise, were not a good person. But all the while were denying our true priority, which may actually be skydiving or teaching or painting. Stress and imbalance will always result from this denial.

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Success can only come when your time is spent congruently with your priorities and when your goals are aligned with your priorities. Period! Congratulations! You have finally identified your true priority, and you can finally begin to accept it and live your life accordingly, to create your own success. Most

people prioritize their time and existence according to their activities. The few who possess the courage and strength to live life according to their priorities are free to experience truly extraordinary lives. In other words, you can experience massive success!

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Chapter 4:

Three Things

No One Taught You

About GOALS

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The great majority of people in the world drift through

life, never realizing that their future will be the one they

create for themselves. The minority who achieve great

success are people who know what they want and have a

plan for realizing their objectives. They know what they

want and how they are going to get it.

Napoleon Hill, Author

You gotta have goals. Have you ever heard that from a parent, teacher or other influence in your life? Many of us grow up knowing we should set goals, but few of us are actually taught an effective way to set and achieve our goals. If only our grade schools and high schools taught goal achievement, imagine the advantage todays children would gain as they grow into adulthood! The future could truly be amazing. If youve never been taught an effective way to set and achieve goals, the good news is that its never too late to learn. There are a number of books available today on the

subject of goal-setting, but this section of The Success Method will cover everything you need to know about powerful goal-setting and achievement. Whether youve never formally outlined your goals or youre a seasoned goal-getter, this chapter offers you the required nuts and bolts for successful goal achievement. Lets get started! There are three basic principles to setting goals: S.A.M. Goals should be Specific, Attainable, and Measurable. What Do You Want? Be Specific

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First and foremost, effective goals are specific. Vague generalizations may eventually come to pass, but you will inevitably get better, faster results by specifically defining and articulating what you want. This also assures that you get exactly what you want, and not just a reasonable facsimile.

Do not be specific in how your goal will come to pass, only in exactly what is your desired result. For example, lets say your goal is to buy a new car. Not very specific, is it? Your hearts desire may be a fully loaded 2006 Corvette Convertible in Daytona Sunset Orange. If your goal was stated as buy a new car and you bought a new Dodge Neon for your teenage son, dont blame the Universe. Technically, you achieved your stated goal (you bought a new car), but because you werent specific, you didnt get the result you really wanted (the 2006 Corvette). To get what you want,

you've got to know what you want and be specific when asking for it. When you were little, did you ask your mom for food if you really wanted a cookie? Heck no! If you wanted a cookie, you asked for a cookie. Otherwise you might have gotten broccoli or cabbage instead. If you were really smart, you asked for a chocolate chip cookie, or a peanut butter cookie, or whatever specific kind of cookie you wanted. On the other hand, by the time we get to be adults, some of us are almost embarrassed to ask for what we want.

For example, have you ever walked into your bosss office with the full intention to ask for a promotion and a

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15% raise yet you walked out of the bosss office feeling lucky to still have a job? It can happen to the best of us. Setting goals is about asking for exactly what you want. You have to identify that first otherwise, fuzzy goals get fuzzy results, and nobody wants that. In other words, a better way to state your goal would be

to own a fully loaded 2006 Corvette Convertible in Daytona Sunset Orange, by January 2006. Notice my use of the word own as opposed to the word buy. Owning the car itself is what you care about, not how you get the car, correct? This is what I mean when I say not to be to rigid or specific on the how part. In other words, you dont care how you get the car whether you win it in a contest, inherit the exact amount of money it would take to purchase the car, receive a lavish gift from a friend, or buy it on credit. Dont be too tied to how the goal becomes reality.

I often talk to people who are afraid to state their goals because they assume they will never have the time to go after what they want, or the money to purchase what they want. Because of this, they dont even bother making it a goal. By removing the limitations on how the goal will come to pass, you are free to state your true desire. To effectively achieve your goal, be specific and do not

concern yourself with the HOW, only the WHAT and the

WHY.

Which brings us to the next point: why do you want what you want? Because I want it is not going to suffice.

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Why a Corvette? It is because of the way you will feel when you drive that car? Perhaps youve never owned a sports car, or a new car, or a Corvette. Perhaps you are seeking the admiration of others who will see you in the car. Perhaps your heart races at the thought of going from 0-60 in the blink of an eye. Is it because youve always loved Corvettes, since you were a child, and the thought

of owning one makes your heart pound and your adrenaline race? Whatever the reason, just be aware of your intent and get in touch with the way you will feel when you have what you want. This element charges your goal with electrified energy and can manifest it more quickly. Ask Yourself: Is It Possible?

The next criterion for an effective goal begs the question: is it attainable? This is where things can get tricky. Goals should stretch your imagination, test your limits, and

challenge your beliefs. Imagine you want something in a jar on a high shelf. Looking at it from down below, you think you might be able to reach it without a stepstool, but youre not quite sure. The stepstool isnt handy, so you go for it on your own. Imagine you reach up with both arms, and your fingers almost touch it. You lower your arms, rearrange your body stance and reach further, with just one arm. Now your fingers are just brushing it, so you stretch just a little further until you can touch it, but you cant quite take it down yet. You find a pen, a stick or some other object and you use that to maneuver it off the shelf,

feeling at least a little bit proud that you did it all by yourself, without a stepladder.

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Setting your goal is a lot like that. Your goal should be just a little bit higher than the jar on the shelf. You should look at it and think, Hmmm, Im not sure if I can get that, but I really, really want it, so Im going for it. Your goal should not seem impossible

but it should seem just barely unreachable. And if its something youre passionate about achieving, you will always find a way to reach it. If we set goals so high that they seem impossible, we are likely to give up when the first obstacle appears. After all, we didnt really think we could achieve that goal in the first place. We can get down on ourselves and destroy our confidence by setting goals that are too high. On the other hand, if we set our goals too low, we do not challenge ourselves, and we can become complacent. Dont settle for weak goals because youll also settle for weak results! I was conducting a teleseminar the other

day about goal-setting. For these particular calls, I typically start out with some general goal-setting instructions, followed by personal coaching for anyone on the call who volunteers. On this particular call, when I arrived at the coaching part, one woman told me she realized her goals were pathetic (her word, not mine). She had just started a business which she knew had the potential to make her very wealthy, and her goal was to pay her bills. Cmon, I asked her, who can get passionate about paying their bills? Any responsible person is going to do whatever it takes to pay their bills. Thats just something youre

going to do anyway, so its not a good goal to set. Would

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you make brushing your teeth a goal? Would you make taking a shower a goal? Lets hope not. In talking with her, I was able to help her apply the Success Method techniques to realize what she was truly passionate about and set goals based on her dreams. After the call, I got emails from other participants who

(although they were too shy to speak up on the call) appreciated the coaching I offered that woman and they were able to set powerful, meaningful goals by using the same Success Method technique. Unfortunately, our society does not teach us to think big. We fail to strive for what we really want, and instead we play it safe. Alternatively, we can get caught up in pie in the sky dreaming which deep down inside ourselves we dont really believe is possible, so we end up sabotaging our own best efforts. Therefore, this attainable step requires a delicate balance to set powerful yet believable goals that we truly can attain (even if we dont yet know

how).

Your goal should be attainable in your mind, but appear

just slightly out of reach. Your desire for the goal should

be strong enough that you will persevere until you are

victorious.

How Will You Measure Your Progress?

Finally, effective goals are measurable; otherwise, how will you know if youve truly accomplished your goal? Our Corvette example is easy to measure; when time is

up, you either own a Corvette, or you dont. Not all goals are material in nature; for example, what if your goal is

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to get in shape? Or to build a better relationship? Or to be successful? How would you measure any of those? The specific and measurable criteria go hand in hand. Measurable goals have a clear benchmark for

achievement or improvement.

Measurements can be determined in many ways, including weights, times, frequency, volumes, financial measures, yes/no evaluations, surveys, polls, etc. Some goals may seem to be immeasurable, but that just means its time to get creative. For example, you might measure an improvement in your relationship with someone by a decrease in the frequency of arguments, an increase in the amount of quality time spent together, an increase in the number of intimate acts, meaningful conversations, or whatever else you desire. Just think about what you want more of, or what you want less of, and find a way to measure that. Remember that anything you measure will improve.

Here is an example of a specific, measurable goal for a woman (or man): By December 15th, I will fit into a size 6 dress (or a 30 waist pants). This goal is definitely specific and measurable. You can walk into a store and try on a dress or pants on December 15th, and the garment either fits or it doesnt fit. Of course, if youre currently a size 18 and today is December 1st, your goal may not be attainable. Thats why specific, measurable and attainable work hand-in-

hand.

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By the way, if your goal is related to weight loss, its a good idea to choose a clothing size or body measurements instead of a specific weight. Some people tend to cling to a specific number they weighed in the past and think I want to get back to my high school weight but that may be totally unrealistic at this point.

One reason is because your body shape and weight distribution shift over time as gravity takes over, particularly for women whove borne children. However, you could fit into the same size you wore in high school and look great, but to wear that same size now, your actual weight could be several pounds more than it was in your youth. If your goal is to get in shape be sure to define actual fitness goals. In truth, you could weigh less than you do now and still not be physically fit. Get specific on what fitness means to you, make sure its attainable, and define a way to measure it. Because muscle weighs more than

fat, measuring and tracking Body Mass Index (BMI) and body fat percentage are both excellent ways to define specific and measurable fitness goals. Being in shape to you might mean looking good in a tank top or a bikini. To someone else, it might mean climbing a flight of stairs without getting winded. To yet another person, being in shape could mean wearing a size twelve dress. Every individual is unique and deserves to have personal, customized goals. NOTE: couples should have separate goals and joint goals. I was coaching a married couple the other day and they were shocked when I asked them what their

individual goals were. The wife actually said, I dont have any, and youre so right! I cant get passionate

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about his goals, so I need my own goals, too. Absolutely. Of course, you must also have joint goals too or you could end up headed in separate directions, which can be devastating to a relationship. Again, the name of the game here is balance.

Individual goals should be just that: customized to you

and only you.

Remember SAM when setting your goals: Specific, Attainable and Measurable. Here are some additional guidelines for goal-setting and goal-getting:

1. Set a timeline. Set a specific date by which your goal will be achieved. Work up until the very last minute often several factors can fall into place at the eleventh hour. (Whew!) Keep in mind that

your goals will most likely come to pass in whatever timeframe you set, because work expands to fill the time allotted. In other words, if you give yourself a year, it will probably take that long, but the same goal may be attained in six months or less. For a good point of reference, scale your deadline back to a timeframe thats just tight enough to make your palms start sweating.

2. Write down your goal. People who complete this

step are ten times more likely to achieve their goal than someone who doesnt write down their goal. Isnt that an amazing statistic? If you dont write

down a goal, its really just a wish. I have all my clients write down their goals on a little card and

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carry them around with them all day, to refer to frequently and keep their goal fresh in their mind.

3. Post your goal in an obvious place. You may

choose to post your goal on your refrigerator, in your car, on a dream board, near your computer, in your palm pilot, written on a card in your

pocket, or anywhere that you can frequently see it throughout the day. There is truth in the old expression out of sight, out of mind but there is also truth in its opposite: in sight, in mind. For example, if your fitness goals are posted on the refrigerator, you will be more likely to fix yourself a healthy snack or meal when you re-read those goals while youre hungry.

4. Imagine your goal is already accomplished.

Visualize yourself having already achieved the goal, and feel the feelings that correlate to the goals accomplishment. Write your goal in the

present tense: Today is December 1st and I am driving my brand new Daytona Sunset Orange Corvette convertible. I feel excited and energized as I drive around town with the top down and the wind in my hair. I feel grateful to own such a sexy, sleek automobile.

5. Have faith in your ability to achieve your goal.

No matter what happens, never ever doubt that your goal will come to pass. Faith is by far the essential ingredient in the achievement of your goal. If all else fails, change your goal date, but never give up on your goal. You deserve it.

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Remember, S.A.M. says:

I WANT YOU

TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS!

Spend some time thinking about your goals. Often, when we rush to set goals, we are not setting the goals that reflect our true desires. We often set goals that include what we think we should have or what others would expect us to want. Review your priorities from the last exercise and reflect on what you really want before completing the next exercise. Take your time with these questions; the whole exercise should take you a few hours to complete. Your goals will lay the foundation for everything that comes next, so you want to make sure that your goals accurately reflect what it is that you want. EXERCISE #6: DEFINING PURPOSE

You should complete this exercise in a quiet place, where you can concentrate and reflect on your answers. Slip out into the backyard before the kids are awake, or during their nap. Take a lunch hour by yourself and drive to the park or near a lake. Be sure to write out your answers, as you may want to refer back to your thoughts at a later

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time. You may use the blank pages that follow, or record your answers in a separate journal. Feel free to record as much (or as little) as you feel guided to write and use additional pages if necessary. Goals Questionnaire:

1. What would you do with unlimited resources (time, money, energy)? Imagine you have an unlimited source of money, perfect health, and all the time in the world. How would you spend your days and your new-found freedom?

2. What are you most passionate about? What really

lights you up and gets you excited? Why?

3. What are you exceptionally good at? This can either be what you know in your heart to be true, or what other people frequently tell you.

4. When are you the happiest? The most carefree? When does your true spirit shine outward? Why do you think it happens at these times?

5. In your opinion, who is most deserving of your

assistance? Your time? Your talents? Why? 6. Who do you get the most satisfaction from

helping? What about it is so satisfying for you personally?

7. Who are you? Describe the amazing person

trapped inside of you, yearning to break free.

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8. Complete this sentence: If I really loved myself, I would ___________________.

9. If you could change anything about yourself, what

would it be and why? What is stopping you from changing that? Which is more important to you: holding on to that excuse as to why it cant change,

or experiencing the changes in your life? 10. If you could change anything about your

surrounding environment (your home, your job, your family life, your circle of friends, etc), what would it be and why? What is stopping you from changing that? Which is more important to you: holding on to that excuse as to why it cant change, or experiencing the changes for real?

11. Are you really willing to get uncomfortable and

make the necessary sacrifices in order to have the life that you want? Why or why not?

12. Where will you be 30 days from now if you do not

make the necessary changes to get the life that you want? How about 90 days from now? A year from now?

13. What would you do if you were not afraid?

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After youve completed this exercise, what you want should become pretty clear to you. If not, thats OK; spend some time reflecting on your answers. When your goals snap into clarity, continue with the next exercise. Remember, this entire section should be completed within approximately one week. (But dont beat yourself

up if it takes a little longer, OK?) EXERCISE #7: GOAL-SETTING

Youre finally ready to spend time setting your goals and writing them in the spaces below. Before you write your official goal statements, be sure to re-read this entire chapter. This will ensure that you set effective goals that follow the S.A.M. guidelines. As you complete this exercise, remember to use the today date to indicate your deadline date, because youre stating your goal as though its already been accomplished.

Use your answers to Exercise #6 to assist you in writing your goals using the following format:

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GOAL #1: Today is and I feel because I now have



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Feel free to set more than three goals the above space is provided to get you started. Remember to post your goals where you will see them frequently. You may even want to write your goals on the back of your business card or a small card and keep it in your pocket, so you can refer to it throughout the day. If you use this technique, its a good idea to laminate the card so you dont accidentally

give it to someone. (This is good advice I started giving all my coaching clients after I accidentally gave away my goal reminder card, thinking it was my regular business card. Oops!) Many people find a certain peace in following this process and writing their goals. Thats goodit usually means your goals are congruent with your priorities and your lifes purpose. Other people may find some tweaking is required before that peaceful feeling comes. Either way is perfect, as long as it feels right to you. During my teleseminars, we do a much more advanced version of this exercise, which often creates a powerful

sense of peace and clarity. Many people find themselves feeling strong emotions of relief for finally knowing what they want and being able to define it clearly. If you havent experienced that until now, it can be a pretty powerful encounter, and one that can begin to give you true peace of mind. Keep this in mind: Right now, you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Be proud of yourself for coming this far in the journey, and be excited about what lies ahead of you.

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Chapter 5:

Now that You Know

Where Youre

Going, How Will

You Get There?

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You are never given a dream without also being given

the power to make it come true.

Richard Bach, Author

Why do so many people begin with the best intentions, but make only marginal progress towards their goals?

Procrastination! While its not the only reason for failure, procrastination can be a major contributor. Some people find it difficult to begin a large project because it seems so overwhelming. You may read the goals you just wrote and think, "How on earth will I accomplish that?" Quite simply, you must have a plan. One of the former members of my mastermind group has a challenge with this. He has such a creative mindhe is truly gifted and brilliant. I consider myself to be fairly creative (and Im also pretty hard to impress) but this guy even comes up with ideas that make me say wow.

The challenge this particular man has is that he gets ahead of himself. He has the creative spirit and he has the know-how, but because he wants to take on the world all at once, he jumps into things without a plan. Besides being expensive and dangerous, this kind of shoot first, then aim thinking makes him come across as a little scatter-brained. Plus, he has been known to make promises he cant keep and hes dropped the ball on important stuff now and thenlike attending mastermind meetings (which explains why he is now a former member!) What our group attempted to help him understand is that in order to be truly successful, each of us must learn to channel creativity and enthusiasm into a

focused plan of action. And a little organizational help can go a long way, as well.

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On the other hand, some people fail because they attempt to jump ahead to the planning stage, without developing a clear purpose or intent. Thats like grocery shopping for a dinner party when you have no idea how many people are coming, or what youll serve. You end up feeling lost, confused and disoriented. Plus it takes you twice as long to make progress because you lack direction. I tend to

call these people compulsive planners. They like to create fancy action plans and flowcharts and scripts, but without a clearly defined purpose or target, their plans are simply a waste of time. To achieve results, you must combine clear focus and goals with a logical plan of action.

Failure to plan is planning to fail.

Still others create the best-laid plans with perfect

intention but fail to follow through and take action. In many cases, this is due to the big ugly monster known as procrastination. There are three sure-fire ways to combat procrastination:

1. Break large tasks into smaller tasks. 2. Focus intently in short, concentrated bursts of

time.

3. Take consistent action every day.

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Steps two and three will be addressed in Chapter 8: Massive Action and Focus. For now, lets take a look at #1 on the list: Break large tasks into smaller tasks. How does an ant eat an elephant?

One bite at a time.

Whenever a task seems overwhelming to you, simply break it into several smaller tasks, and attack one small task at a time. The key to breaking down these huge tasks requires setting objectives. Objectives are small pieces of a larger goal. Think of objectives as stepping stones that lead you from where you are now to where you want to be. For example, if your goal is to buy a new home, your objectives might include the following:

1. Save for a down payment 2. Clean up credit reports

3. Determine requirements (number of bedrooms and

bathrooms, square footage, school district, a pool, monthly note, etc.)

4. Drive around neighborhoods to find a suitable area

and homes for sale by owner 5. Check the real estate listings in the newspaper

6. Hire a real estate agent

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7. Apply for financing 8. Put current home up for sale 9. Put in a bid on a new home 10. Pack belongings and hire movers 11. Close on the old (current) home 12. Close on new home 13. Move 14. Mail change of address notice 15. Unpack 16. Have a housewarming party

Buying a new home actually includes at least sixteen smaller steps, which could be broken down into even smaller steps. (For example, step number ten might specifically include packing the kitchen, wrapping breakable items, boxing toiletries and bathroom products, cleaning out the basement and attic, getting references for moving companies, calling movers to check rates and availability of dates, and so forth.) Each of these sixteen objectives seems much more manageable than the large goal to buy a new home. Ideally, a timeline should be connected with your goals and objectives. Adding a responsible party gives you a

complete action plan. For some of your goals, you may be the responsible party for the entire project. It just

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depends on the project itself and who youll need to help you. Of course, if money is no object then your name may not even appear on your own action plan, except to supervise! The best way to create an action plan and timeline is to set a completion date for your goal and work backwards.

On the following page is a sample action plan for our home-buying example. Lets assume today is January 1, 2006, and Tom and Marys goal is declared as follows: By August 1, 2006, we are so happy and blessed to be

living in our beautiful, spacious new home. We feel

comfortable and proud to have such a warm and inviting

home to relax and to entertain our friends and family.

To develop an action plan for Tom and Mary, set the last item on the list (the housewarming party) as due on the future goal achievement date (August 1, 2006) and work backwards from then until now, including all the steps

we listed earlier. Next, set appropriate deadlines for each step, and determine who will be the responsible party for each task. On the following page is a sample action plan for Tom and Marys home-buying goal:

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Whenever applicable, tasks should be listed in the order required for completion. If you want to get really fancy, you could add a prerequisite column to denote which numbers (corresponding to specific tasks) must be completed prior to a particular task. For example, Tom and Mary must finish packing before they can move. A number of project-planning software packages are for

sale for this very purpose. NOTE: Be careful not to get caught up in getting ready to get ready, where you may spend several hours c

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