The Project Gutenberg eBook of Hints for Lovers

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The Project Gutenberg EBook of Hints for Lovers, by Arnold Haultain

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Title% Hints for Lovers

Author% Arnold Haultain

&elease 'ate% 'eceber (, )**( +EBook -()../

Language% English

000 1TA&T 23 TH41 P&25E6T G7TE8BE&G EB229 H48T1 32& L2:E&1 000

Produced by 9atherine for 6hrissy, 'orcas, and Bryan

HINTS FOR LOVERS

by Arnold Haultain

Boston % Houghton ;ifflin 6o#any % 8ew "ork

<-* The &iverside Press 6abridge, ;assachusetts 7!1!A!

6o#yright, -=*=, by Theodore Arnold Haultain

All &ights &eserved

Entered at 1tationers> Hall

This Edition is liited to five hundred and forty nubered co#ies of which this is nuber

)(.



To Ea ;ellicent Audrey

PHA4'&A% ti touth o dae legousin anthro#ous eran

T&2PH21% aediston, o #ai, tauton a lgeinon th aa$Euri#ides

Table of Contents

4! 2n Girls

44! 2n ;en

444! 2n ?oen

4:! 2n Love:! 2n Lovers

:4! 2n ;aking Love:44! 2n Beauty:444! 2n 6ourtshi#

4@! 2n ;en and ?oen

@! 2n 5ealousy@4! 2n 9isses and 9issing

@44! 2n Engageents and Being Engaged

@444! 2n ;arriage and ;arried Life

@4:! 2n This Huan Heart

PLEA: CONFESSION AND AVOIDANCE

! ! ! a#horis are seldo couched in such ters, that they should be taken as they sound

#recisely, or according to the widest etent of significationC but do coonly need

e#osition, and adit ece#tion% otherwise freDuently they would not only clash withreason and e#erience, but interfere, thwart, and su##lant one another! 4ssac Barrow

The very essence of an a#horis is that slight eaggeration which akes it ore biting

whilst less rigidly accurate! Leslie 1te#hen

4! 2n Girls

A Pearl, A Girl!

$Browning

There are of course, girls and girlsC yet at heart they are #retty uch alike! 4n age,



naturally, they differ wildly! But this is a thorny subject! 1uffice it to say that all en love

all girls$the aid of sweet siteen eDually with the aid of untold age!

0 0 0

There is soething eas#eratingly soething$or$otherish about girls! And they know it which akes the ore soething$or$otherish still%there is no other word for it!

0 0 0

A girl is a co#licated thing! 4t is ade u# of clothes, siles, a #o#adour, things of

which s#ace and #rudence forbid the enueration here! These things by theselves donot constitute a girl which is obviousC nor is any one girl without these things which is not

too obvious! ?here the things end and the girl begins any en have tried to find out!

;any girls would like to be enece#t on occasions! At least so they say, but #erha#s

this is just a #art of their soething$or$otherishness! ?hy they should want to be en,en cannot conceive! ;en #ale before the, grow hot and cold before the, run before

the Fand after the, swear by the Fand at the, and a bit of a chit of a thing in short

skirts and lisle$thread stockings will twist able$bodied ales round her little finger!

4t is an o#en secret that girls are fonder of en than they are of one anotherwhich isvery lucky for the en!

Girls differC and the sae girl is different at different ties! ?hen she is by herself, she is

one thing! ?hen she is with other girls she is another thing! ?hen she is with a lot of

en, she is a third sort of thing! ?hen she is with a an! ! ! But this baffled even Agur

the son of 5akeh!

As a rule, a an #refers a girl by herself! This is natural! And yet is said that you cannot

have too uch of a good thing! 4f this were true, a bevy of girls would be the height of

ha##iness! "et soe en would sooner face the bulls of Bashan!

1oe foolish en#robably #oetshave sought for and asserted the eistence of the

ideal girl! This is sheer nonsense% there is no such thing! And if there were, she could not

co#are with the real girl, the girl of flesh and bloodwhich Fas soe one ought to have

said are ecellent things in woan!

2ther en, eDually foolish, have regarded girls as #laythings! 4 wish these en had triedto #lay with the! They would have found that they were #laying with fire and

bristone! "et the veriest s#it$fire can be wondrous sweet!

1weet "es! 2n the whole a girl is the sweetest thing known or knowable! 2n the I wholeof this terrestrial s#here 8ature has #roduced nothing ore adorable than the high$

s#irited high$bred girl!2f this she is Duite awareto our cost F4 s#eak as a an! The

conseDuence is, her #rice has gone u#, and an has to #ay high and #ay all sorts of things



ices, sweets, cha#agne, drives, church$goings, and soeties s#ot$cash!

;en are always wishing they knew all about girls! 4t is a #recious good thing that they

don>t!8ot that this is in any way dis#araging to the girls! The fact is

A girl is an infinite #uJJle, and it is this #uJJle, that, aong other things, tickles the en,and rouses their curiosity!

?hat a an doesn>t know about a girl would fill a 1aratoga trunkC what her does know

about her would go into her work$bo!

0 0 0

The littlest girl is a little woen! 8o boy knows thisand #recious few grown u# en!Thus

;any a grown u# an #lays with a girl, then finds hiself in love with her! As to the girl $

Always the girl knows whether the #lay is leading% she #robably chooses the gae!

0 0 0

:ery late in life does a an learn the truth Fand significance of that ancient #roverb that

9issing goes by 3avour! 3or

The asculine ind is the slave of Law and 5ustice%

A#hrodite never heard of Law or 5ustice% she was born at sea! That is to say,

3ew are the en who at soe tie in their lives have not wondered at the vagaries of girlish co#laisance% the foolish, the ne>er$do$well, the bully, the careless, the cruel,it

is to these often that a girls> caress is given! And,

6uriously enough, that is, curiously enough as it sees to #urblind law$loving an,

should the favored one be o#enly convicted, that alters not one whit his statue with thegirlC for,

A girl, having given her heart, never recalls it not wholly% she ay regretC she never recoils! 4n other words,

To the an of her own free lawless choice a girl is always loyalC to subseDuent and

subordinate attachents she is dutiful! 1o,

Even the renegade, if loved by a girl, will be u#held by that girl through thick and thin

secretly, it ay be, for often the girl, nevertheless devotedly, and only under co#ulsion



will he listen to the detractor% he ay desert her, or, if he sticks to her, he ay beat herC

no atter% he holds her heart in the hollow of his hand! But, But,

3ew things ystify #oor law$abiding an than this, that the central, the #rofoundest, theost #ortentous #uJJle of the universethe weal of woe of two high$as#iring, uch$

enduring, youthful huan souls, should be the s#ort of what sees to hi the veriest anderest chance!

0 0 0

The unconscious search of sweet siteen is for Fin atheatical language which will notso#histicate her the integral of love!"et

4n the short years between siteen and twenty a girl>s love will undergo ra#id and startling

develo#ents!

0 0 0

A girl with lots of brothers has ore chances of atriony than a girl with none% sheknows ore of enC es#ecially of their weaknesses and idiosyncrasies! And

To know the weaknesses and idiosyncrasies of en is #erha#s a wife>s chief taskC unless

it be to #ut u# with the!

0 0 0

2ften enough the freckled and fringrant girl wins over the #rofessional beauty!

0 0 0

1oeties grown$u# girls are just as shy as little onesand for the sae reasons

because there is no one who knows how to #lay with the!

Girls often #lay with love as if it were one of the auseents of lifeC but a day coes

when love #roves itself the ost sensuous thing on earth! And

A girl is Duick to discover the kind of love that is reDuired of her! As a rule

;any a girl who has been sore #ut to it to #rove herself whole$hearted!3or of course,

Always every suitor e#ects whole heartedness! And this every girl instinctively knows!

4ndeed,

4s not a half$hearted love, or a half$hearted acce#tress of love, a contradiction in ters



0 0 0

A certain easure of the so#histicated or unso#histication of a youthful dasel ay be

found in her anner o f receiving the attentions of a stranger in a station different froher own!

"oung woen, theselves but rarely unso#histicated, view with a certain #itying sort of

curiosity unso#histicatedness in en! And

A young an>s unso#histicatedeness it is a great delight to a woan to eradicate! "et

A girl regards with co#le eotions the an who has blossoed under the genialwarth of her raysC the flattery to own #owers is counterbalanced by the evidence of lack

of #ower in hi!

0 0 0

A girl thinks she detects fli##ancy in seriousness! A woan thinks she detects seriousness

in fli##ancy!

0 0 0

?hat would be conduct decidedly risDuK in a city iss, is often innocent #layfulness in a

country aid!

0 0 0

Between the ages of siteen and eighteen, girls #lay with love as if it were a dollC verysoon after twenty they discover it is a dynao! This is why

An early and clandestine engageent often works ore havoc than ha##iness! 3or

Either, one of the #arties to the concealed co#act receives or #ays attention which

#erturb the otherC or, a subseDuent and acknowledged lover looks askance at the #revious

entangleent! 1ince even if

A clandestine engageent Fas is usually the case is erely a flirtation with the

eoluents which acco#any a #roise to arry, those eoluents are not nice things

for a subseDuent and avowed lover, whether asculine or feinine, to think u#on! Lastly,

A laity with regard to the clais of courtshi# is a#t to breed a laity with regard to theclais of wedlock! 4n short,

3lirtations, like clandestine engageents, are an affront to love!

Accordingly



To the engageent$ring should be as attached as uch i#ortance as to the wedding$

ring! 4ndeed,

A difficult and a delicate #ath it is that a girl has to tread through lifeand often enougha dangerous! "et with etraordinary deftness she treads it! 1he ust win her a ate, yet

has to #retend that the ate wins her! 1he akes believe to be ca#tured, yet has herself to be intent on the chase! To be wooed and wedded is the law of her being, yet not for one

oent dares she to ehibit too great an alacrity to obey that lawC for she knowsinstinctively that an easy victory #rognosticates a fickle victor! 4s she abundantly

endowed with the very attributes that ake for wife$and other$hood, a strong and

swaying #assion and an affection unbounded, she ust hold the in leash withee#lary #atienceC for, alas Are they given the rein for a single #assing oent,

instead of being accounted unto her for righteousness, they work her ruin! 1he ust win

her one an, and she ust win hi for lifeC but she cannot #ick or choose, for she ustwait to be asked!

4f she ake test of any adirers, she is described as a flirtC if, conscientious anddeure, she await her fate, a desirable fate is by no eans assured!

4n truth it sees that too often a girl ust disseblehateful as disseblance in en!

T>is a hard road indeed that a girl has to travel! To win her a fellow$farer for life, she ustgo out of her way to accoodate so any travelers% and this one is lured by this, and

that one by that, and another by soething unnoticed by the throng! But, an she

dissebles one iota too uch, her fellow$farers look askance, and he who eventually joins her for good u#braids her for that by which she won!

'isseblance is indeed at once the boon and the bane of a girl% without it, she thinks to

be overlooked Foften enough a #re#osterous assu#tionC with it, she is looked u#on toouch! And always,

Always a girl has to #retend that never did she descend to disseblance!

?hich, nevertheless, is soeties absolutely true, for

5ust now and then there ha##ens that iracle of iracles, where their flaes u# in thean, and their flaes u# in the aid, in both at once, unaided and unlooked$for, that

divine and su#ra$undane s#ark which solders labent in every youthful breast% when

aid and an take utual fire at touch of hands and look of eyes,fire lit at that vestalaltar which knows no source and burns for aye!

44! 2n ;en

'uskolon esti to threa anthro#us!

Plato



3or an, the over$grown boy, life has coonly two, and only two, sides% work, and

#lay! Ha##y he who has for a hel#ate one who #ossesses the faculty of increasing a Jeal

for the first and of adding a Jest to the second! ?herein, 2 woan, thou ayest ha##ilyfind the two$fold secret of thy life$work! 3or

;an is a greedy anial% he wants all or nothing! And fortunately for hi,

?oen tacitly etol an>s greed% they will not be shared any ore than they will share!

There is soething canine in the asculine nature% like a dog over a bone, it snarls at the

very a##roach of a rival!

0 0 0

4t is curious, but it is true, that #roud an becoes #rouder Fandore curious stillat

the sae tie hubler when weak woan gives hi soethinga look a sile, a

locket, her hair, a kiss, herself!

0 0 0

The greater a an>s faith in hiself, the greater his istress hers in hi! And #erha#s, the

greater his istress her faith in a an, the greater his in hiself! 3or

A woan>s faith in a an works wonders!

0 0 0

A an to who a woan cannot look u#, she cannot love! "et,

4t is arvelous how a woan contrives to find soething to look u# to in a an!

0 0 0

;any en forget the artistic tendency of the feinine te#eraent, a tendency which

shows itself in any waystheir love of #retty things, of #retty ways, and of #retty

words! 3ro which three alone we ay deduce the rule that

?hen with the woan he adires and whose adiration he seeks, a an cannot be too

careful of his dress, his s#eech, and his anners!

0 0 0

A believer in ?oan is a believer in Good! And vice versa, and utatis utandis!

0 0 0



;an>s standard of value of a woan is usually deterined by the scale of his own

eotions! That is to say,

The #edestal u#on which a an #laces a woan Fa an always #uts a woan u#on a #edestal is a #edestal erected solely by the effect u#on hiself of her chars!

0 0 0

A an ay boast hiself invincible by enC never by woan!

0 0 0 The lady$killer is always an object of attraction to ladies, even to those who he

akes no atte#t to slay!

0 0 0

4t ay #erha#s be a thing as unreasonable as certainly it is indis#utable, that however

uch wild oats a an ay hiself sow, he invariably entertains a very #eculiar objectionto any woan near or dear to hi entering u#on this #articular branch of agriculture!

0 0 0

He is a fool who does not bear hiself before his lady$love as a #rince aong en!

0 0 0

1oe en are so gallant that they will never be outdone by the woan who encourages

the! But it often leads to strange ebarrassents and entangleents!

0 0 0

3ew things terrify a an ore than the knowledge of a woan>s ability to ake her eotionswhen, if ever, he arrives at it!

0 0 0

That is a very silly an who thing she can #lay one woan off against another! 3or

4n atters of eotional finesse the asculine instance is nowhere% it is blinded, befogged,

befooled at every turn!

Heaven hel# the an who is dragged into a Duarrel between two wrathful ladies

0 0 0

Three things there benay, fourwhich an can never be sure, how a greatsoever his

acuen, his astuteness, or his Jeal% a woanC a race horseC a #atentC and the oney$



arket! They defy both faith and fateC they should be the recreations not the resources of

lifeC and he is a fool who stakes ore than a #ortion of his substance on any one of the!

0 0 0

?hat a #altry thing, after all, is an, an unco#leented by woan Left to hiself,he stagnatesC linked with a woan, he rises$or sinks! A gentle touch stiulates hi, a

confiding heart akes of hi a new creature! 7nder the rays of feinine sy#athy, he

e#ands who else would reain inert! 3ae ay allure hi, friends encourage hi,fortune cause hi a oentary sile, but only woan akes hiC and fae, friends,

fortune, all are naught if there be not at his side a sharer of his weal! A an will strive for

fortune, stri# hiself for friends, scour the earth for faeC but were there no woan inthe world to be won, not one of these things would he do!

0 0 0

444! 2n ?oen

Ehret die 3anen

$1chiller

3ro woan, who e>re she be, there sees to eanate a #otency ineffable to an, i#al#able, invisible, divine! 4t lies not in beauty or grace, not even in anner or einC

and it reDuires neither wiles nor artifice! 4t is not the growth of long and intiate

acDuaintance, for often it acts s#ontaneously and at onceC and neither the woan who

#ossesses it nor the an who succubs to it can give it a nae! 3or to say that it consistsin the effluence or influence of #ersonality or te#eraent, of affinity or #assion, of

sy#athy or char, is to say nothing save that we know not what it is! All unknown toherself, it wra#s its owner round with airs the which to breathe u#lifts the s#irit, and yet,

ay be, #erturbs the heart, of an! Even its effects are recondite and obscure! 4t alluresC

but how it allures now an shall tell! 4t i#elsC but to what, does not a##ear! 4t rouses all

anner of ho#es, stirs slee#ing abition, and desires and as#irations una##easableC butfor what #ur#ort or to what end, none stays to inDuire ! 4t incitesC soeties it enthralls! 4t

innervatesC it ehaults! 7nder its s#ell, reason is flung to the winds, and atters of great

undane oent are trivial and of no account% for it bewilders the wit and snatches the judgent of sane and rational en! 4t is ost #owerful in youthC it is ost #owerful u#on

youthC yet soe retain it till far on in years, and no age but feels its sway%a veiled andysterious forceC soeties daeonical, often divine% at once the delight and the des#air of an! After all,

The an who declares he understands woen, declares his folly! 3or,

4f woan were not such a ystery, she would not be such an attraction!

3or again,



?hat is known is ignored! FBut woan need have no cause for a##rehension! Besides,

;en ay be classifiedC woen never! This is why

GeneraliJing in the case of woen is uselessC since

?oan is a s#ecies of which every woan is a variety! And every an ust ake u# hisind to this, that

Every woan is a study in herself! However,

4f woen were co#rehensible to en, en and woen would be friends, not lovers

FBut the race is safe! The si#le fact is that

?oanliness is the su#ree attraction, in however fair or however frail a #ersonality it isebodied! And

The sacred function of all woanhood is to kindle in an the divine s#ark by eans <*

of the ystic flae that burns ever in the vestal breast!

0 0 0

Every true woan>s orbit is deterined by two forces% Love and 'uty!?hich is another way of saying that

?oen, like the lark, are true to the kindred #oints of heaven and hoe!

But,

4t is only when the two foci are coincident and identical that her orbit becoes the #erfect

circle and her hoe becoes her heaven!

0 0 0

A woan>s heart is an unfathoable ocean% nothing ever filled itC no one ever #lubed it!

At the surface are glancing waves, or flying s#ue, or, it ay be, raging billowsC beneath

are silent de#ths invisible to an! A thousand streas flow into it in vain! Towardsvarying coast$lines it bears itself variouslyC here, #lacid and contentC there, dashing

furious! But none ever sta#ed his arked u#on its bri, and always it reains the

refluent, reluctant sea! 2f it an knows only the waves that break or ri##le at his feet! 4t betrays no <- secretsC it asks not to be understood! 1tor and cal but stir or still its

surface, and what things it hides forever engulfed no one ay learn! 1ubtle, yet ightyC

an eternal, and entrancing, ystery to an!

A an>s heart is the enclosing shoreC easurable, i#ressionable, definite, and overtCthinking to house that sea, sha#ing it, over looking it, and staying and governing its tides!

"et changed by it, crubling before it, yielding to it% at once its guardian and its slave!



"et #erha#s

The #lacidest of seas is that which is wholly land$locked!

0 0 0

?oen, a##arently, were ade for enC en for theselves! 6ertainly

;en see to carry out this design of 8ature, that they should be inistered to by woen!

0 0 0

A woan asks a woan Duestions in order to discover soething! 1he asks a an

Duestions in order to discover the an!

0 0 0

he last thing that a woan will risk is her #ersonal a##earance! ?hich is saying a good

deal, for

A woan will risk an interview at an unseasonable hour, but not in an unseasonable

frock!

0 0 0

8ever, never take a woan au #ied de la letter!

0 0 0

?oen>s rights are% to be loved!

0 0 0

?oen>s duties are% to love!

0 0 0

There is always soething sovereign and onarchial about a woan% like a Dueen>s, her

wishes are her coands! And

4n atriony, woan>s sovereignty is not abdicated! By no eansC it is only transforedfro an absolute into a constitutional onarch % she acts then by and with the advice of

her 3irst Lord! This is the ideal 1tate!

0 0 0



?oan>s true function, as a citiJen, in this world is% to s#ur en on to high and noble

action! And this, Duite unconsciously, she does!

?oan>s true function, as a woan, in the world is% to evoke an>s ost fervid eotions,and at the sae tie to kee# the at their highest level! And this she also does#erha#s

not Duite so unconsciously!

0 0 0

They err who call woen illogical! 3einine logic is ineorable! But it #roceeds #er

saltu! 4t is an who has laboriously to reason ste# by ste#!

0 0 0

The ost wayward woan craves control% To let a woan have her own way is

inter#reted by her as indifference! And

The surest way to fail to #lease a woan is to let her do what she #leases!

0 0 0

?oan is born to acting as the s#arks fly u#ward! And

?hat a woan really is, nobody knows, least of all herself!

To see a woan as she really is, one ust see her with her babe! 3or

4t is curious, but it is true, that not even before the #assionate and acce#ted lover to who

she has utterly devoted herself can a woan bare her heart as can she to her babe!Perha#s we ay go so far as to say that

;otherhood always #artially ecli#ses wife$hood%

?hen the child coes, the an stands aside! 3or

4t is not within the ca#ability of an to evoke or to develo# the totality of woan! There

are feinine #otentialities he is #owerless to awake! There is a #ortion of woanlinessalways hidden fro hi! To her babe alone she o#ens the innerost recesses of her soul!

3or hi she wears no asks, affect no accent, #lays no #art! Even her features take on a

different and uniDue e#ression before the offs#ring of her wob! 8ever is she orewoanly, never so strong, never so Duite, never so self$contained, never so co#letely

herself, and never so beautify when bending over her hel#less infant son! And naturally%

for say what one will,

;otherhood is the goal of woanhood! And

Howsoever she coes by it, a woan>s burthen is always to her That Holy



Thing! 1o

8o one knows what a woan is like till she is a other! 4n other words

;otherhood reveals woanhood! And, be it reebered,

There be childless woenboth s#insters and wiveswho could other ankind intheir bosos! 1uch woen wield great influence! 3or

;any a ere an there is has owed his all to a otherly woan!

0 0 0

8or s#eech, not restore, nor e#ression of feature, nor all cobined, will ever reveal the

real feelings of a woan! To unboso herself is i#ossible to woan! 'o not e#ect it,for

'efinite and accurate utterance is not given to woan!

0 0 0

The chief business of woan is% first, to get arriedC second, to get others arried!

0 0 0

4t is difficult to say which have #layed the greater havoc aong en% the woen with toouch conscience, or the woan with none!

0 0 0

?hen a woan re#ulses, beware! ?hen a woan beckons, be warier!

0 0 0

?oan are always #re#ared for eergencies!

0 0 0

?ith woan, tact and jealousy rarely go hand in handC tact and s#ite never!

The only instance in which a woan>s tact is a#t to be at fault is in detraction of a woanwho she regards as her rivalC

The instance in which a woan>s tact is seen as its best is in de#loying the en who she

knows are rivals for her hand! And usually



?hen a woan has ore than one adirer, she not only de#loys the, but tries to ake

the advance en echelon! 3or

3ew things disconcert a woan ore than a ulti#le and siultaneous attack deliveredfront a front! But

The way in which a woan will aneuver her attackers is arvelous!

0 0 0

They say a woan cannot argue! Hear her e#lain an indiscretion

0 0 0

An inde#endent woan is a contradiction in ters! 3or ?oan>s chief want is to feel that she is wanted! Therefore it is that

?ith woen, cruelty is ore easily borne than coldness! 4ndeed, 4t is astonishing how

uch downright cruelty a woan will stand fro the an she loves or has loved! 2n the

other hand,

;elancholy also attracts woen! 8aturally,

?oen are ade to soothe, to #ity, to cofort, to delight! Therefore it is that

To see a strong an in a weak woan>s ars is a sight which should arouse not our

laughter, but ourF- envy! 1o it does!

F- 6oon Gender

0 0 0

Let not the si#leton think a woan will sy#athiJe with his si#licity%

8o woan is a si#leton!

?hat woen adire is a subtle cobination of forcefulness and gentleness!

4f a woan has to choose between forcefulness and gentleness, always she will sacrificethe latter! And

4t is astonishing to what lengths forcefulness can go without endangering a woan>s

adiration! 4f it swee#s her off her feet! ! ! well,

4n nothing does a woan so clearly ehibit the inherent feininity of her nature as in the

delight with which, at the botto of her heart, she recalls oents when she has been



swe#t off her feet! 1he ay sigh over theC but

Generally, a woan>s sighs are by no eans those of reorse! A woan never brings

#ure reason to bear u#on her actionsC she acts by sentient (* and she judges her acts bysentient! This is why

Even when a woan has deceived and betrayed, she does not regard herself cul#able!

Always, she says to herself, she was driven to it, and therefore she is blaeless!

Accordingly

A #enitent woan is rare%

Even when a an, with his so$called su#erior reason, thinks he has #roved her wrong, at

the botto of her heart she knows herself right!

0 0 0

;any have been the discussions as to woan>s ost #owerful wea#on! The si#le fact

is, she is ared ca# a #ieF)! 4ndeed, Every woan is a sort of feinine Proteus, not onlyin the yriad sha#es she assues, but also in her aenability to nothing but su#erior

force! ?oen for, #erha#s, where en are concerned, the single ece#tion to the rule

that in union there is strength! 2ne woan often enough is irre#ressibleC two Fbe thesecond her own other break the char an association of woen is the feeblest of

forces!

F) 6f! 6ow#er%

They are all woen, and they dartLike Porcu#ines, fro every #art!

$Anacreontics

0 0 0

All woen are rivals! And this they never forget! 6onseDuently

;istrust a truce between hostile ladies!

0 0 0

Aongst woen, odesty is of infinitely ore #otent influence than is ability! "et

To a woan>s odesty ability is a wonderfully enhancing setting! And

;odesty is the ost co#le and the ost varied of eotions! Perha#s

?hen odesty and frailty go hand in hand, there is no ore delectable cobination



known to enC and A#hrodite has not the subtle char of a 6ynthia! Perha#s this is why

such

A wondrous halo of roance hangs about the nae of a Heloise, of a ;arguerite, of a;arianna AlcoforadoC of a 6oncetta of AfragolaC of a 6atalinaC of &obert le 'iable>s

Helena, of 4soldeC of Lucia of Bologna, the enchantress of 2ttavianoC of 3rancescaC of GuenevereC of the sweet seventeen$year old novice of Andouillets, ;argarita, the fille

who was rosy as the ornC of the Beguine who nursed 6a#tain 1handyC of the fille dechaber who walked along the Muai de 6onti with "orickC of Aeilia :iviani, the

ins#irer of 1helly>s ost ecstatic lyricC of 'ryden>s asDue$loving Lucretia! 3or, after all,

4s the star any the less starry to the ra#t star$gaJer when he finds it to be a treulous #lanet

6ynthia ay have blushed in heavenC bit did the blush ake her any less lovely to the

Latian

2nly in the clear and unclouded #ool is the star undied ebosoed!

0 0 0

They say a woan is ca#ricious! But the consistency of woan>s ca#riciousness is onlyeceeded by the ca#riciousness of an>s consistency!

;an calls woan ca#ricious si#ly because he is too stu#id to co#rehend the laws by

which she is swayed! ?oan does not call an ca#ricious! The inference is obvious!

0 0 0

To woen the #rofoundest ysteries of the universe give #lace to two things% a lover, anda baby!But #erha#s these are the #rofoundest ysteries of the universe!

0 0 0

How any woen there be who, deeing theselves fitted to be the consorts of kings,

yet co#ort theselves dutifully as the wives of wastrels And indeed,

Given beauty, cleverness, and grace, (( there is no #osition to which a woan could not

as#ireC for

Being ?oan, she is e officio Mueen!

0 0 0

1#eak to a woan dis#aragingly of her se,she is u# in ars!



1#eak to her dis#aragingly of a eber of her se,well, she will not be u# in ars!

The reason for her bellicosity in the forer case is the fact that

A woan always inter#rets abstract dis#arageent of her se #ersonally!And she is #erfectly right!

0 0 0

4t is not only the woan who cannot be accounted Duite as stainless as the stars that

soeties trade on their chars!

0 0 0

?hen a strong$souled woan wholly and unreservedly loves, her love will go to lengths #assing the co#rehension of an! 3or

?oen #refer an des#ot to a de#endent!

0 0 0

4t is arvelous to what a #itch of deureness features by nature that the ost coDuettish

can be set!

FA ;an>s features are often a clue to his characterC a woan>s rarely!

1o it coes about that

The owner of a sera#hic face is often owner of a te#er satanic!

8evertheless,

2ften enough a s#ice of diablerie in a woan at once enhances all her chars!

4t is indeed fortunate for the en that so any woen are unaware of the #ower of their

chars!

0 0 0

A woan would uch rather you lied to her concerning herself than that you told her

soething un#leasant to hear!

0 0 0

1oe woen see to be envious of soe en>s failiarity with iorality!

0 0 0

4t is by woan that a woan will be first sus#ectedC and it is by a woan she will be last



forgiven! The last thing a woan will ask you for is% your estee! And yet

6ast a slur u#on a woan>s character and you are considered indiscreet! 6ast a slur u#on

a woan>s #ersonal a##earance, and you are considered cul#able!

0 0 0

3ashion is a woan>s sole law! And

The surest evidence of strong$indedness in woan is to fly in the fact of fashion!

0 0 0

&idicule is woan>s keenest wea#onC it is the #oisoned arrow in her Duiver! ?ell is it for

the en that she never, or so rarely, has recourse to it!

0 0 0

A woan is Duick to discern the Duality of the adiration bestowed u#on her!

0 0 0

8o one, not even herself, knows what a woan will do net!'oubtless this is trite! But

it is true as trite! "et en rarely find it out till late in lifeand forget it as soon as found

out!

0 0 0

A woan can say ore in a sigh than a an can say in a seron!

0 0 0

8othing #iDues a woan so uch as indifference to her favors!

4ndifference to her undiscovered #assion she Duite otherwise regards!

0 0 0

The woan knows the ale heart #robably better than does it itself! 1he knows above all

things, that to hold that heart she ust never wholly satisfy it! And anyand ultifor and arvelousare the ruses by which she acco#lishes that end! And yet,

?oen there are who firly believe that, were they to try, they could enthrall any an beyond #ossibility of etrication! And (N so #erha#s they couldC but the achieveent

would reDuire as uch unscru#ulousness as it would seductiveness!

The seductive and unscru#ulous woan is hatred of woen!



0 0 0

7nder the gaJe of a grou# of en who she knows that her brilliancy daJJles, a woan,

like the snow$clad hearth, s#arkles% 7nder the gaJe of a an by who she knows she is #assionately desired, like the sae earth under the lordly sun, she elts!

0 0 0

All woen think they can coJen en% few woen think they can coJen woen!

0 0 0

The woen who #erturb en ost are those who cobine too effectively adorableness

with desirableness!

0 0 0

As in nature, so in huanity, flight on the #art of the lady is not always sybol of

unwillingness of #ursuit! 2n the other hand

3einine audacity by no eans betokens feinine iodesty!

3einine obduracy is invincible by an! Luckily, it is rare!

0 0 0

;en call woen variable% did she not vary, en would tire! This, woen instinctively

know!

?oen rightly dislike and disgust variability in en! 3or

?oen like best to be liked% to lead gives the but #altry and te#orary #leasure!

FThough this they do not always instinctively knowC or, if they do, they conceal their knowledge! And

:ariability is inco#atible with leadershi#!

0 0 0

How delicately a loving woan re#roves How defiantly an unloving

0 0 0

How any lonely woenarried and unarriedthe world contains, only theselonely woen know!



0 0 0

The feinine Ktier #ar ecellence is% to allure! And

The subtle and elaborate eans by which woen will devise to intensify the lure, #asses

the co#rehension o f en! "et

4n all ages, to ake herself attractive was as right and #ro#er for the woan as to ake

hiself feared was for the an! Besides,

?ith woen the art of attracting has long since becoe second nature!

0 0 0

?oen are Duick to recogniJe a rake! 3or

A rake always rouses curiosity, never aversion!

0 0 0

A worsted woan always, either silently or volubly, calls down a curse u#on her

successful rival!And >t is a curse that too often fails!

;any woen handica# other woenC and they handica# the in ultifarious ways!

Probably the one ost freDuently used is lavishness of favors!

The woan who is lavish of favors is hated of her stricter sisters! But, before these, what

an air of bravado she wears

0 0 0

As a rule, woen are far better readers of character than are en! A woan will often

startle a an by her #enetrating insight into character! And

;any a an has been #ut on his guard by feale institution!

0 0 0

The fragilest woan will be ill content with su##ressed ebraces! And

The ablest$bodied woan loves being #etted! Even

A #rude is a shy coDuette!

0 0 0



The an who judges of a woan by her letters is a fool!Her gesture will contain ore

atter than her journal! Besides,

The woan who could #unctuate could reason!

0 0 0

The debut of a younger sister evokes ied eotions!

0 0 0

The #rayeruttered or une#ressedof any an undowered young woan is, ;ay a

oneyed an fall in love with e And she is not always over$careful to add, And ay 4

fall in love with that oneyed an

0 0 0

4f the 8ew ?oan F< turns out to be a fitter co#anion for en than the old, no an

will co#lain of her novelty! "et

;en regard the advent of the 8ew ?oan rather askance! ?hy Because

To judge fro certain feinine utterances, the 8ew ?oan sees ore inclined to aiat rivalry than at co#anionshi# with an! However, there need be no fears as to the

result, since

1uch is the ysterious #otency of woanhood, that, whether new or old, woan will

always lead an ca#tive! Besides

As every new variety of fashion in dress sees becoing to woen, so, it is #robable,every variety of fashion in anners will becoe the also! But #robably

The #hrase the 8ew ?oan is not unlike the #hrase the 8ew 6heistry% the

aterials are the saeC what is new is the noenclature!

F< A #hrase Fand not uch ore than a #hrase uch in vogue in Euro#e and Aerica inthe last two decades of the nineteenth century of the area known as 6hristian!

0 0 0

A woan>s #eccadilloes are generally worse than a an>s! At all events they are ore

re#robated!

0 0 0

Abashent intensifies a woan>s love for hi so aking her abashed! And



There is a shae that is sweeter than joy! FAs

There is a fear ore treulous than delight! 3or

;astery is a woan>s standard of an! And There is an eleent of the freest and frankest

savagery in the ost refined and s#iritual of woen! FHow otherwise

6an any one e#lain the etraordinary fable of 1elene and PanF(

And an

But that an was ever a savage! 4t ay be added that

The defenselessness of woan is a conventional fiction% she can avert an attack by a

lookC she can terinate a siege by a taunt!

F( Though Browning tried! 1ee 'raatic 4dyls, Pan and Luna

0 0 0

1oloon has objurgated the invincibly garrulous woan! The invincibly taciturn woan

is so rare as to have esca#ed objurgation! "et she too is a terror to en!

0 0 0

Every woan is sus#icious and jealous of any woan that o#ens a an>s eyesC eventhough she knows that

8ever was there a woan who could and would deliberately wholly enlighten a an!

And, yet, arvelous and curious aongst things curious and arvelous, will but a

woan fling artifice to the winds, and look and act and say as great 8ature #ro#ts, wildly, willfully, wantonly,that woan will ca#tivate as no feinine wiles will ever

ca#tivate!

0 0 0

4f the an were worth it, any a woan would dis#ense with the arriage cereony!

3or

Ah Lovelovelove,given love, what else is needed F7nfortunately

Love can never be sure of itselfuch less of anything else!

Accordingly

The arriage contract is a device on the #art of the counity to #rovide for the

#reservation of the hoe% it akes the #arties #roise fidelity! But



Precious few are the en who are worth the risking! 7nfortunately,

;ore woen succub to strength of will than to strength of character!

8either, in general, are woen overcurious to enDuire whether the strength of character!

8either, in general, are woen over curious to enDuire whether the strength of theasculine will akes for good or for evil!

1o long as the asculine will overaster the feinine, the feinine ind is satisfied! 2f

course there are ece#tions, but as a rule,

?oenwhether young or old, arried or single, strong$inded or weak are never

ha##ier than when they can de#end on a an! Accordingly,

The lover or the husband who is weaker than, and de#ends u#on, the woan, will soe

day rue his weakness and de#endence! And yet,

To see a strong ale at her feetthat is eDuisite to the woan! 1o eDuisite that

4t is with difficulty that a woan refrains fro ehibiting a an>s servitude to others! 2n

the other hand,

There is an eleent of intiidation in a res#lendent woan! And of this she is aware!

Hence #erha#s her #ower!

0 0 0

A woan will attain her ends by adroit finesse, where a an would blunder into o#en

hostility! And

4t is well that an should blind his eyes to feinine wiles, since,

Always a woan kindly #retends oblivion of asculine blunders!

0 0 0

The woan whose tastes and refineents are above her station, is in #itiable #light% she

is too fastidious to es#ouse the en who would arry herC the en she would arry sherarely eets! 3or, The only thing that, to love, is insu##ortable is vulgarity! 1ince

Love, roantic love, the efflorescence and bloo of life, is besirched unless tenderly

touched!

0 0 0



To generaliJe #asses the wit of woanC but in #enetration she is #reternatural!

0 0 0

?hat fascinates a woan is the an who unwittingly attracts her against her will! But

such a an rouses a cobination of eotions co#rehensible only by woen!

0 0 0

A woan>s answer to an insu#erable arguent is% a look! And a ost cogent answer it is!

4ndeed,

1#eech is a woan>s least effective wea#onC rarely if ever does she resort to it%

4n the affairs of life, as in the affairs of love, where en be concerned, it is u#on her #ersonality that she relies, not u#on her s#eech whether written or uttered!

Her #ersonal a##earance is to a woan, what his #ersonal honor is to a an% it ust be

iaculateC constant with the fashion of the hourC and strictly in accordance with her or

his status in society! Accordingly,

'ress and deeanorthese for the code of feinine ethics! Even

'ece#tion on the #art of a woan is erely di#loacyC

?oen deceive only be cause an is too blind to see! That is to say,

1ince an in #ast ages has never allowed woan either freedo of action or frankness of s#eech, it is not to be e#ected of her that she should be all at once an ade#t in their use!

To her credit be it said that,

Generally a woan deceives only n order to arouse or to retain the adiration of an!

3or ea#le,

;any a woan has surre#titiously ade love to the anand few are the en who have

detected it!

0 0 0

?hy this woan fascinates all who coe within the s#here of their influence, and that

woen, does not, no earthly sage will ever know! As well ask what akes one an a

8a#oleon, another a #oltroon! 1o, too,

4t is i#ossible for a woan to say >4 will be loved,> as it is for a an to say >4 will beobeyed!>Perha#s



Love and Power are divine iracles!

0 0 0

FAt the risk of treading on delicate ground, ground off which 4 shall be hooted by the

odern woan, 4 venture to say that

The idea that a woan is the #ro#erty of the an of her choice, rail as it as the woan

ay, has not yet been ousted fro the feinine indand heart! 4ndeed,

1o firly i#lanted in the feinine breast is the idea of the ownershi# of her by the an,

that it is to the an who assues and eercises ownershi# that she clings! This is why

A woan easily changes her allegianceC since,

Allegiance, to a woan, eans loyalty to the an who assues and eercises ownershi#

over her%

Let a an who a fractional #art of a second evince the shadow of a doubt of his

#ro#rietorshi#at once he underines a woan>s allegiance! 6onseDuently,

4t is folly for en to e#ress aaJeent at the ease with which a woan will transfer herself and her affections!

A woan will transfer herself bodily over and over again, but only because the #revious

owner lightly esteeed, or weakly aintained, his ownershi#! As a atter of fact

4n #ristine days woan was, naturally and necessarily, the #ro#erty, the chattel, of thean% arriage was not then a atrionial syndicate of two% arriage eant that a

woan sought a #rovider, a su##orter, a defenderC the an a ate for his delight, his

cofort, and his solace, a kee#er o# is cave or hut, a other and nurse for his heirs! And #rovision, su##ort, and defense, being, in #ristine days, atters of strength, #rowess, or

cunning, naturally and necessarily #ristine an I. gained hi and ke#t hi a ate by

strength, #rowess, or cunningC he regarded that ate as his by right of force, not as a

#artner in a co#act! And

The ost co#licated of odern counities has no whit altered the relationshi# of an

to ate, conceal though it ay the origin and history of arriage! 3inally,

8o woan at the botto of her heart has any objection to being owned!

4ndeed Fthough no woan would say it, a an ay,

Every woan at the botto of her heart delights to be owned, and tacitly and secretlyseeks the an who she thinks will glory in that ownershi# and kee# his #ro#erty safe

not only fro aterial hars, but fro te#tations to changes of ownershi#! 4n which

last little fact lies a curious truth!



?oen like to be defended against theselves! 4n this little atter en and woen

differ% That any other an should dare for one instant to covet or alienate F. that ost

#recious of his #ossessions, his ate, nothing rouses to a higher #itch an>suna##easable wrath than thisC

Against the an so daring, a woan>s wrath is never roused% rather she regards hi asone having discernent, and his daring is a coendable co#lient to herself! 4n fine,

and in short,

Allegiance, to a an, on the #art of a woan, eans, in her eyes, loyalty to hi who

#ro#erly eercises the right of ownershi#! 4n si#le truth,

A woan gives herself to a an% to the an who #roves hiself worthy the gift, she is

true!

And this is why woen, all woen, even the 8ew ones, love being #etted and adired

and ade uch of all their lives% this but #roves the #ossession of the gift to bea##reciated! Besides,

The ale is the doinant anialnot necessarily in his cave or his hut, by no eans, but in the stress and struggle of lifeC and woen tacitly Fthough never o#enly look u# to

and adire this doinance, even when eercised over theselvesC since TH41, in turn,

#roves the asterfulness, the worth, of the anC albeit soeties they rebel against it if

carried to far! At least,

7nless a an continues to ehibit his a##reciation of the gift by word as well as by deed,

the woan is a#t to iagine that that a##reciation is on the wane!

F. How woen ust laugh in their sleeves at the fact that one an ay sue another in a

court of law for alienating his wife>s affections

0 0 0

4:! 2n Love

Aore che uove il sole e l>altre stelle!

'ante

The beginning, iddle, and end of loveis a sigh!

0 0 0

All things #oint to the infiniteC and love ore than all things else!



0 0 0

6o#le as is the character of love, here are two things which love always does% always

it

&efines the thoughts And heart enlargesC

;ilton

and,

Love dyes all things a cerulean hue! F?hat a #ity it is not a fast color

0 0 0

Love is the ost antionial of eotions% it worshi#s, yet it will not sto# at sacrilegeC it

will build about its object a te#le of adoration, then desecrate the faneC it will give all,yet ruthlessly seiJe everythingC it delights in #leasing, yet it soeties wittingly woundsC

its ineffable tenderness often erges into an incleency etraordinaryC sybol of universal duality, it is at once deonical and angelic!

0 0 0

8othing stands still in this world, not even love% it ust grow or it withers! And, #erha#s,

That is the strongest love which surounts the greatest nuber of obstacles!

0 0 0

Love to soe is an intoicantC to others an ailent! To all it is a necessity!

0 0 0

As is one>s character, so is one>s love! And

Perha#s the dee#est love is the Duietest!

0 0 0

Love is as i#lacable as it is un$a##easable! 8ay ore,

Love is erciless% as erciless to its votary as to its victi% 3or

Love would slay rather than surrenderC would for$swear rather than forgo!

0 0 0



1oe loves, like soe fevers, render the #atient iuneat all events to that #articular

kind of contagion!

;any lovers are vaccinated in early youth!

0 0 0

2nly love can co#rehend and reci#rocate love! This is why,

4f, of two sensitive huan souls, the one loves #assionately and the other not at all, the

other is unwittingly blind and deaf to love>s claors and clais% the one ay ardently

urgeC the other but #assively yields%

2nly the faished understand the #angs of the hungered!

2f a great and reci#rocated love there is one and only one sign% the e#ression of the

eyes! ?ho that has seen it was ever deceived by its counterfeit

'id ever the sae love$light shine in the sae eyes twice

The light of love in the eyes ay take on a thousand fors% eultant jubilation, a trustful

ha##inessC infinite a##easeent, or #roises untoldC an adoration su#ree, or a co#leoblationC tenderness ineffable, or heroic resolvesC i#licit faithC unDuestioning

confidenceC abounding #ityC unabashed desire! ! !

He who shall count the stars of heaven, shall enuerate the radiances of love!

0 0 0

There is no Art of Loving F-C though, as 2vid says, love ust be guided by art F)! "et,

4f love did not coe by chance, it would never coe at all!

F- 2vid wrote not Art of Loving FArs AandiC he wrote on the Aatorial Art FArs

Aatoria!

F) Arte regendus aor!Ars Aatoria, 4, (!

0 0 0

To each of us hiself is the centre of the visible universe! But when love coes it altersthis Ptoleaic theory! "et,

4t is a significant fact that love, which, ore than any other thing in this world, is the

great bringer$together of hearts, begins its ysterious work as a se#arator and #uter$at$a$

distance! 3or



?hen love first dawns in the breast of youth, it throws about its object a sacred aureole,

which awes at the sae tie that it ins#ires the faithful worshi##er!

0 0 0

6an only two walk abreast in the #ath of love How any try to widen that strait andnarrow way

0 0 0

Love raises everything to a higher #laneC but nothing higher than the an or woan who

is loved!

4s there anything about which love does not shed a halo 4ndeed,

Love is a sort of transfiguration! And when on the ount, we can very truly say, 4t is

good for us to be here!

4f there is any sublunary thing eDual in value to the true love of a faithful woan, it has

not yet entered into the heart of an to conceive!

True love akes all things loveable,ece#t #erha#s the cha#eron!

?as there ever an or woan yet who was not bettered by a true love

True love is ever diffident and fearful of its own venturesoeness F<!

But this not every woan understands!

Too often the Phantas of love and not the :erity wins the day F(!

?oen who seek a real lover should beware the overbold one!

F< 6f! La volu#te 8ous rend hardis, l>aour nous rend tiides! :oltaire, La Pucelle,

6hant vi!

F( 1ee Leo#ardi, 1toria del Genere Huano, where the :erities of Truth and Love and5ustice never leave the throne of 5ove, but their Phantass are sent down aongst en!

0 0 0

To erge the THEE and the ;E into onethat is ever the atte#t of love!

4t is i#ossible! "et, #erha#s

They are ha##iest who can longest disbelieve in the i#ossibility of this aatorial fusionCfor it ay be that such

4ncredulity is favorable to roance!



0 0 0

Love is not eactly a sacrificeC it is an echange! The lover, indeed, gives his heartC he

e#ects another in return!

0 0 0

Love is like life% no a##aratus can anufacture itC kill it, and nothing in the heavens

above or in the earth beneath or in the waters under the earth will resuscitate it!

How any a forlorn huan wight has tried to resuscitate love

0 0 0

To such heights does love ealt the lover that he or she will live for days in thereebered delights of a look, a word, a gesture! But

2ne thing is i#ossible to love% love cannot create loveC the intensest and ost fervent

love is #owerless to evoke a scintillation of love!

Love ay worshi#, it ay adore, it ay transfigure, it ay ealt the object of its devotion

to the skiesC but it cannot cause that object to eit one ray of love in return!

0 0 0

Hate ay be concealedC love never!

0 0 0

The greater the iaginative altitude of love, the lower the boiling #oint! But

Love cannot always be ke#t at high #ressure!

0 0 0

The young think love is the winning$#ost of life, the old know it is a turn in the course! 8evertheless, it is a fateful turn!

0 0 0

4n love, the iagination #lays a very large #art! And this ay be variously inter#reted!

Thus,

By an, love is regarded as a sort of sacred religionC by woan, as her every$dayorality! The forer is the ore ehilaratingC but the latter is ore serviceable! 4ndeed,



Love and religion are very near akin% both ins#ire, and both elevate!

And

4f faith, ho#e, and charity are the basis of religion, there never was such as religion aslove! And

Love is the only religion in which there have been no heretics! ?hy

Because woan are at once its object and its #riesthood!

Love, art, and religion are but different #hases of the sae eotion% awe, reverence,

worshi#, and sacrifice in the #resence of the su#ree ideal!

Love knows no creed! 8ay ore,

Love acknowledges no deity but itself and acce#ts no sanctions but its own% it is

autonoous! And yet

And yet, love soeties feels constrained to offer a liturgical acDuiescence to the rubric

of &eason! 4n short,

Between the #relatical doination of &eason and the recusant

Protestantis of Love there has ever been strife! 2r, in #lain language,

There are two codes of ethics% one that of the roantic heartC the other

that of the #ractical head! ?ho shall assiilate the

The heart, in its #rofoundest de#ths, feels that soething is due to &easonC and &eason, in

its highest flights, feels that soething is due to the heart!

4s there a divine du#licity in the huan soul And yet, after all,

All love seeks is% love! "et love little knows that

4n seeking love, love enters on an endless search! 1ince

Love is an endless effort to realiJe the 4deal! 3or

Love always beckons over insurountable barriers to uninhabitable realsC #roises

insu##ortable #ossibilitiesC lures to an uniaginable goal! "et

Love has a yriad counterfeits! And

;en and woen inter#ret the word differently! Even

'ifferent woen inter#ret the word love differently! Thus,

To one woan, love is as the rising of the sun% it shines but once in her whole life$dayC it



floods everything with its lightC it brightens the worldC it daJJles her!

To another woan, love is as the rising of a star% a fresh one ay a##ear every hour of

her life, and nor she nor her world is one whit affected by its rays! 4ndeed, one wouldhardly err if he said that

;any a woan really does not know whether she is in love or not! 1he is soughtthat

she #erceivesC but which of her seekers is worthiest, which ost Jealous, which erely

takes her fancy, and which a##eals to her hearton these atters she editates longtothe eas#eration, of course, of the individual seeker! Accordingly,

;en, carried away by their own #assionate i#ulse, detest calculation of the #art of

woen%

1ince HE stakes his all on i#ulse in the atter of love, says an, why should woan

stay to consider 3oolish an he forgets that

A woan always weighs a an>s declaration of loveand legitiately and naturallyC

#erha#s legitiately because naturallyC for, once again,

?hat a woan stays to consider in the atter of love is, not the #otency of the i#ulse of

the oent, but the #eranent efficacy of the eotion! Therefore it is that

?oan unwittingly obeys great 8ature>s laws!

0 0 0

;any iagine that love is a thing like a cheical eleent% with a fied sybol N( and arigid atoic eDuivalent! And so it ay beC but, like the #hiloso#her>s stone, hitherto it has

defied detection in its eleental for! The fact is #robably that

Love ay be co#ared to a substance that is never found free, and which not only

cobines in all sorts of relationshi#s with all sorts of substances, but also, like any

another cheical body, takes on the ost varied fors, not only in these relationshi#s,

but also under varying #ressures and te#eratures!2r #erha#s it would be better to saythat

Love ay be co#ared to a usical note% to the unthinking it is a si#le soundC to the

ore e#erienced it is know to consist of endless and co#licated haronical vibrationsCharoniJing with soe, and aking discord with other, notes by regular but unknownlawsC differing according to the tibre of the eitterC reverberating under certain

conditionsC lost to the ear in othersC and only res#onding to resonators vibrating

synchronously with itself! Lastly,

There is a whole gaut of love!6hanging that siile, we ay say that



Love is not like the sun% a unit, and #ractically the sae wherever seenC it is like light% all$

#ervading, universally diffused, and reflected and refracted and absorbed in varying

degrees and varying anners by various objects! And

Than a great and #ure love, can anyone #oint to anything on earth greater and ore

#urifying

The lesser luinary #erturbs the tide of huan #assionC the greater light draws it u#ward

none the less veritably because in tinted forless va#or! This is sybolical of love!

4t is the nascent thing that evokes the keenest eotions% the budthe babedawnandthe first beginnings of love! 1o Love, like sun$light, wears its ost tender tints at dawn!

0 0 0

4t still reains a ystery that, out of a townful of folk, two #articular hearts should worry

theselves into early graves because this one cannot get that other! "et

4t is alost enough to destroy one>s faith in the uniDueness of love to see fro hownarrow a circle of acDuaintances en and woen choose their s#ouses! ?ere Plato>s two

half$souls se#arated by the diaeter of the globethat were laentable!

0 0 0

The an often argues that estee will grow into #assion! The woan knows that thearguent is utterly fallacious! "et 7nless #assion is guarded by estee,as the caly

ensheaths the corolla, the forer is #rone to wither!

4n youthful love, as in the enfolded bud, estee and #assionlike caly and corolla$

see one and identicalC

4t is only the full$blown flower that dis#lays its constituent #arts!

?ould that love could reain ever in bud

0 0 0

To soe love coes like a flashC to others as the burning of tinder!

4n all, when real love is kindled, it devours all that is cobustible!

But

All love, like all fire, needs, not only ventilation but re#lenishing%

7nless the #rial s#ark is nourished, it will not glowC



1tifle love, and it dies down! 1o

Even the love of a arried #air, unless it retains soething of the roance of courtshi#, is

a#t to go out!

0 0 0

Love takes no though of surroundings% an e#ty co#artent is as good as a co##ice!

Give it #rivacy, it is satisfied!

0 0 0

4n love, we would uch rather give than take! "et, if the giving is one$sided, there is

trouble! And

Love brooks no half easures! Again,

Trust a woan to calculate the breaking$strain of her lover>s heart! But she will never let

hi off with less than the aiu stress!

0 0 0

?hen love is dead, it is #erha#s best soonest buried!

0 0 0

4n astronoy, to deterine the otions of three bodies utually attractive is adittedly

difficult! 4t is easy co#ared with the sae #roble in love!

0 0 0

A an>s work and a woan>s love, though to each the su$total of life, are often things

wholly and totally dissociated!

;an, the egoist, thinks that if the woan loves hi, by conseDuence she will love his

work! 4t ay be, but usually, non seDuiturC for

3ew are the woen who can understand a an>s work%

3or thousands of years an has worked in the hunting$field, in the arket$#lace in the

ca#C for an eDual length of tie woan has worked by the cradle, by the hearth!Accordingly,

;an has two sides to his nature, woan but one%

;an wears one as#ect when facing the worldC he wears Duite another as#ect when facing



woenC

At their work, en are rigid, frigid, austere, sever, #ere#tory, tyrannical, downrightC

?ith woen, ! ! ! ! ! !Hu#h?herefore,

2 strenuous and high$as#iring an, in thy work, seek not fro woan>s love whatwoan>s love cannot giveC but set thy face =* as a flint! Bethink thee of the fate of

Anthony! 3or

;an>s chief business in the world is% ?ork!

?oan>s chief business in the world isC Love!

;an>s love F#erha#s just because it is his #lay$thing, not his business is ore finelyte#ered than is woan>s, and takes on a finer edge! 3or this very reason it is the ore

easily turned, and is the less useful! 4t is the #ocket$knife, not the lancet, that is oftener called into reDuisition! Also,

;an>s love is usually a highly e#heeral affair!

?ith a an, love is like hunger or thirst% he akes a great fuss over itC he forgets when itis a##eased! "et

?hen #assion>s trance is over#ast, it is fortunate if affection takes its #lace! 1o too,

4n love it is the an who #rotestsC and

That an is fortunate, who, after arriage, has not soe dubious reflections as to

whether he has #rotested over$uch! 3or

4n love, it is the an, generally, who akes a fool of hiself!

0 0 0

Love Flike urder will out! But

5ill kee#s her secret better than 5ack! 3or

A woan generally controls love% a an is controlled by it! And

5ill>s very #ower of aking$believe to be fancy free eas#erates 5ack!

0 0 0

4t is a #urely feinine ruse to a##ly a test to loveboth her own and that of her loverto

#rove it true! A an would as soon as think of a##lying a atch to a #owder agaJine to



#rove it cobustible!

Love in woan>s eyes is the su#ree and ultiate arbitrator! 4f she is loved, love in her

eyes will condone anythinganything! 3or

To #refer honor to love is a ai to woen unknown! ?ith the love 41 honor! Andtherefore the ai is eaninglessand needless!

0 0 0

4t is a sort of legalor rather charitablefiction that woen should surrender only to

love! 4n fact,

'o not even the lightest of Laises and Thaises ake a show of being swayed by loveAnd

8o woan by too uch love was ever s#oiled! ;an, reeber that

0 0 0

The logic of the eotions differs fro the logic of the intellect! As to the senses

Alack$a$day The senses never reason!

Love soeties wrecks its barDue u#on the rocks to #rove that they harbor no irage!

Love soeties forgets that it is #ossible to #robe too far!

Love, in #ursuit of love, soeties vivisects as unconsciously as a science in #ursuit of

life!

0 0 0

?oen detect the dawn of love while it is still idnight with a an!That is to say,

A woan knows a an is in love with her long before he is aware of it hiself! Ece#t

#erha#s in this once circustance% when she herself is in love with soebody else! And

this is a highly i#ortant circustance!

0 0 0

?holly to satisfy asculine infatuation is given to no woan! And #erha#s

?holly to satisfy feinine ca#rice is given to no an! 1o, soeties,



The last refuge of an unreDuited love is the belief that love will create love! 8othing can

be ore futile than such a faith! "et

Love without ho#e, has its itigationsC but

How alleviate the #ain of a love that istook a siulated love for a true one

A siulated love is a contradiction in ters!

Either one loves or one does not, that is the conclusion of the whole atter!

0 0 0

Love would rather suffer than forget!

Love would give the world to be able to ecul#ate a languid lover!

A #assionate love is #erha#s always #oignant!

Love disdains #ity!

A wounded love carries a scar to the grave!

0 0 0

4n love, when honor is lost, loss of shae soon follows! Then indeed the downward #atch

becoes #reci#itous!

0 0 0

To soe, love never coesC to soe, it coes too oftenC but the sae love never recurs,as never a bud o#ens twice% ha##y he or she is who gains bud, blosso, and fruit! 1ince

The sweetest love is that wherein the odorous flower of #assion ri#ens into the nourishing

fruitage of affection! But

Love reDuires careful nature! And

The ore eotic the love, the ore difficult its culture!True, An orchid ay life on air!"esC but how torrid and va#orous an air

"our sturdy istletoe thrives on the huble a##leC a 6attleya reDuires a

6olubian forest!

0 0 0



"outh wonders at the aatory successes of iddle$age! "outh knows not that

4n atters aatory, age is no handica#%

A girl in her >teens will ake love to a gentlean of fortyand vice versa! 4n fact

The indiscreet i#etuosity of youth succubs before the astuteness of age!

The bachelor and the s#inster both soeties wonder that the benedick and the bride arestill their rivalsC for they know not that

4n the aatorial art, atriony is no handica#! 4n short,

There is no barrier at which love will balk! 8ay ore,

Love will forgive anything%

'id love deand it, love, though it ight blush, would not blench! And

2ften love itself stands aaJed at its own divine audacity! 4ndeed,

Love loves to iolate itself for love! 9nowing that

To love, nothing is coon or unclean% for

Love, like charity, thinketh no evil! Butreeber that

4t is only the 7ranian A#hrodite F. that dares essay a divine audacity! 8evertheless,

Love is the ost vulnerable of the eotions, and

A love doubtful of itself would be cautiously acce#ted% it is not a fact that

To try to feel one>s own #ulse, is to ake the heart beat irregularly

1o,

To try to see in a irror the love light in one>s own eyes, is to be$di it! 1o, too,

4f #assion is not linked with affectionwoe worth the day when the troth was #lighted

But given #assion linked with affectionah

8othing, nothing is criinal to loveC for love knows not conscience! 2r rather,

Love u#sets all conventional conditions! 3or



Love creates a world of its own, a world #o#ulated by twoand these ake their own

lawsor ake none! 1o

A woan will ibrue her hands with blood, and a an will fling honor to the winds, andyet the twain regard each other as i#eccant and i#eccable!Till Pi##a #assesC then,

Love always awakes to the fact that not even a counity of two can live without lawC

and that

Though huan laws ay be outraged, those divine ay not! And assuredly,

The ideal love is the divine love! And, in ideal love,

1trange, strange, but true, in a great and ardent love, when at last that is offered whichwas long sought, there su#ervenes u#on the lovers a great tenderness, which hesitates to

ake their own that for which they yearned! Alost it were as if

A #sychic onitor warned the conDueror to be cleent, and the ca#tive to be kind! This

Tenderness is the worshi# of the soul by the soul! And

2f all tests of love tenderness is the truest! But indeed, indeed

4n love there are heights above heights, de#ths beneath de#ths% who shall scale the, who

shall #lub

F. 1ee Plato, 1y#osiu, -N* et seD!

0 0 0

:! 2n Lovers

1i vis aari aa!

1eneca

Lovers think the world was ade for the!And so #erha#s it was!

0 0 0

To each other, lovers are the ost interesting #ersonages aliveC but onlookers regard the

#artly with auseent, #artly with #ity, #artly with co#assionin the etyologicalsense of that word!

0 0 0



The first wonder of every acce#ted lover is that he should be the acce#ted lover of such a

woan! ?hat the woan thinks ! ! ! what the woan thinks, #robably not even she

herself knows! Probably each woan thinks her own thoughts!

To doubt whether one is in love is to #rove oneself out of it!

0 0 0

To i#ress u#on the lover the still$eisting necessity of refining gold or #ainting the lily

is out of the Duestion! "et every woan atte#ts it!

0 0 0

4f there is one #roverb ore distasteful than another to a hot$headed lover, it is that half aloaf is better than no bread!

0 0 0

6hildren, dogs, and old #eo#le are difficult to deceive! Lovers who have to use

circus#ection should reeber this!

0 0 0

A doubting lover should ark how, and for who, his woan dresses!

0 0 0

To die for a woan would #erha#s, to a young and ardent lover, not be difficultC to wageincessant warfare with the world for her, that #erha#s is not so easy! But it is the better

test of loveC and #erha#s also the better #reserver and re#lenisher of love! 3or

Little as #eo#le see to be aware of it, love reDuires constant re#lenishing% no flae can

burn without a feeding oil, no #ool overflow with out a #urling brook! "et

The first ecstasies of love often blind both lover and lass to the care necessary for the

nurture of love! 4ndeed,

To any treat love as if it were a #assing whiC whereas in sober reality it is For should

be a lasting eotion!

0 0 0

Love, with woan, is like the tides! And

3ew woen know the high$water ark of their love% they are always harboring the belief

that it ay rise still higherC and often they await that rise!



0 0 0

4t is but the reflection of hiself in his istress that any a foolish lover loves!

0 0 0

That aged s#inster is a rare one who does not regret she did not acce#t one of her lovers!But

That younger s#inster is not to be envied who has to ake choice of several!

"outh glories in the ulti#licity of its loversC age soeties wishes it had had but one!

0 0 0

The unloved think lad the one thing needful! The beloved know that an ocean of love

could be swallowed u# and the #arched soul cry out athirst!

0 0 0

4t is not well either to confide or confess too uch!

A very sall rock will wreck a very big shi#, and a very sall sli# will s#oil a very long

life!

0 0 0

The #ain which lovers cause each otherthrough fickleness, languidness, jealousy, andthe thousand natural shocks that love is heir tois not altogether #ain, though at the

oent it ay see the ost #oignant anguish the huan soul could suffer! 2ne #roof of this lies in the fact that

There are few who would choose to have issed love>s #angs altogether!

Perha#s the #leasure interied with love>s #angs arises fro the thought that the other is

the cause of our suffering! 3or,

4n all love, it is the sacrifice of oneself for the other that brings keenest joy! And yet

There is an eleent of self$love in the very etreest of love! 1ince

Love, after all, is a debtor and creditor affair! F?ho ever loved with no ho#e of return 4t

is when one of the #arties declares hi$or her$self insolvent that the account is closed

with any tears and sighs on the #art of the chief creditor! At all events

The intenser the love, the ore flawless does its object a##ear! 3or



The surest test of the sincerity of love is that it thinketh no evil!

The surest test of a waning love is that it begins not to content itself when it sees its

object suffer!

The surest test of a dead love is that it forgets how to be jealous!

0 0 0

The falling$out of lovers true is a renewing ay be of love! F- 1till it is not to be

recoended! 4n fact, it ight be said that

Every falling$out of lovers true is a nail in love>s coffin! "et,

A blessing it is that in love we reeber the sweet rather than the bitter! 3or

Love was ever bitter$sweet F)!

F- Aanitu irae aoris integratis est! Terrence, Andria, 444, )<!

F) But 4 su##osed innuerable #eo#le have said this before! 8o atter!

0 0 0

The heart of a lover is like that botto of a well% all the beauties of the starry heavens are

revealed in itC but when it sheds the light of its countenance u#on it, all else is obliterated!

0 0 0

?as any lover ever loved enough 2r

'id any ever hear of a tired lover 8evertheless often

'rink to e only with thine eyes, says the youthful loverC but when the seance is over

he goes out and orders beef$steak and bottled beer!

0 0 0

?hat it really craves, the lover>s heart is i#otent to e#ress! "et, it is ever atte#ting!

A lover is full of wishes as an egg is full of eat! But

?hat it really wishes no lover sees able to say! As a atter of fact,

The endless task which the lover is ever atte#ting is a search for a forula for the

suation of an infinite series of which love is the variable!3ew lovers see to



understand this!

0 0 0

To kindle as#iration in her lover, a woan herself need not be as#iring!

3or,

?hatever the talents of a an, they are stiulated by contact with woan!

1ince

An elevating influence sees to radiate fro woen% we have but to coe into the light

of their countenances for our own faces to shine as the sun! 4ndeed,

Physicists ay talk as they like, but lovers know a ore subtle and a ore #otent forcethan any yet revealed to the! 4t has not yet been naedC but for the #resent it ight be

called #sychicity! F<

F< 'r! 2liver ?endell Holes s#eaks of celebricity! 1ee 2ver the Tea 6u#

0 0 0

4f you wish to ascertain the relationshi# of a youthful #air, watch their eyes! 3or

1iulation is difficult to the eye!

0 0 0

?hen the idol into which a woan has converted her lover is dethroned, she stillworshi#s her reebrance of her god, and #uts together and treasures the broken #ieces!

?hen the idol into which has converted his loved one is dethroned, he generally changeshis creed!

0 0 0

A circu#secting lover is a woan>s abhorrence% as a calculating istress is a an>s!

0 0 0

Let a lover but #ut hiself into the hands of his istress, and he is safe! 1ince

The an she really loves, a woan will shield through thick and thin, through right andwrong! 3or,

6oncerning a an, the only Duestion a woan asks is, not, 4s he right or wrong but,

4s he ine or another>s?e en therefore



Leave a woan to get her lover out of a scra#e!

0 0 0

4t is to be feared that the en and woen who love but once and forever are not usually

to be found outside of roances!

?ith woen, love is a river, ever$flowing, fro the brook in girlhood, F( to the estuary

of woanhood! Like a river, too,

?oan>s love is fed by all the streas it eets! 2n the other hand,

?ith an, love is a geyser!

F( 1tanding with reluctant feet ?here the brook and river eet!

Longfellow, ;aidenhood

0 0 0

The languishing lover has gone out of dateC he has been re#laced by the diverting one!

And the change is significant of uch% The early nineteenth$century aid #retended toignoranceC the early twentieth$century aid to oniscience!

The early nineteenth$century suitor #rotestedC but

The early twentieth$century suitor has to contest! 4n the one case,

The woan tacitly acknowledges an ineDuality! 4n the other case,

The an has to o#enly to recogniJe his eDual! 8evertheless,

The fundaental relationshi# between the sees do not aterially vary fro century tocentury, uch as conventional anners and custos ay! 3or, after all,

Always what a an seeks in a woan is% love! And

4n all love there is soething #erfectly and Paradisiacally #ristine!

?ould the ost eanci#ated woan have love otherwise At all events,

Perha#s the ost woanly #osition a woan can occu#y is% with her head on her lover>sheart! At this the strong$inded ay scoff! They ay! 0 0 0

The obsession of the ale heart by one woan ousts fro it all other woen! Thus,



The acce#ted young an regards all woen but the one as he would regard fashion$

#lates! To the young woan en continue to be en! That is to say,

A an dives headlong into love! A woan #addles into it! And the woan>s hesitation atthe brink of the strea eas#erates the s#luttering an! 4n short,

A an>s heart is ca#tured wholly and at a stroke! A woan>s heart surrenders itself

#ieceeal!

?hereas, with a an, a trivial #assion is usually an affair ore of the senses or of the

iagination than of the heartC with a woan every #assions is an affair of the heart!

A an, when first he is in love, is absorbed in the conte#lation of the object of his love!

A woan is siilarly situated is ca#able of aking co#arisons!

4t gives to woan>s curiosity a curious #leasure to co#are the ethods of en>s

#ro#osals!

4n love, a woan is generally cool enough to calculate #ros and consC a an, in siilar #light, is inca#able of anything but folly!

0 0 0

4t is a feinine otto that a woan needs to be taught how to love! Perha#s she doesC but

ost en will think one #rivate tutor ought to suffice, and that tutor ought to be he! At allevents,

The last schoolaster would be a#t to regard with soewhat ied feelings the tuition of #revious craers!

?hy go to the trouble of e#laining away a first love, if the second is no whit its inferior7nless it be to overcoe!

?hat a second love chiefly de#lores is% that it was not he For she who first taught his For

her loved one to love! 4s it not true also that

4t is the first love that aaJes, that beautifies, that consecrates

FAn illicit love beautifies and consecrates nothing%

A ;aud leaves the daisies rosyC not so 3austine!

;any a woan has given her heart to one lover and herself to another!The first is always wonC the second is soeties etorted! "et,

4t is wonderful how a woan will contrive to ake all her lovers believe they are



4t is in a#helion that the corona a##ears ost s#lendidC

?ere #erihelion to result is coalescence, #erha#s the #hotos#here would be #roved

co#osed of terrestrial va#ors! And if it did Fas no doubt it would, would it be at all bedied 3or, to the devout astrologer

8othing, nothing will ever destroy beautyand therefore wonder! 1o,

Bodily beauty, where Love is #riestess, is a daedal s#ur to the loftiest worshi#!

The lover is ever worshi#ful! And

?here is worshi#, nothing can be #rofane! 1o

4n love there is nor taint nor stain! Therefore,

;ake, 2 youthful lover, the best and ost of youth and love% never will either recur!

0 0 0

:4! 2n ;aking Love

;ille odi :eneris 2vid

There are as any ways of aking love as there are of aking sou#! And #robably

There are as any kinds of love as there are of flavors! And

Palatesboth sentiental and #hysicalevidently differ widely! And yet,

4f you would know the secret of success with woen, it is said in a word%

Ardor! And

?ould ye, 2 woen, know in a word the secret of success with en 4t lies in%

&es#onsiveness!

0 0 0

4n atters aatoryor rather #re$aatoryfeinine tactics are infallible and

consuate%

Let no an think to co#e with feinine strategy!



;an, the clusy wielder of one blunt wea#on, often enough stands aga#e at his own

#owerlessness before the invulnerable woan of his desire! 4ndeed,

The battle between the coDuettish aid and deterined an is like the battle between the&etiarius and the ;irillio! The coDuetry ensnares the an as with a net against which

his sword is useless!

0 0 0

A woan>s eotions are as #ractical as a an>s reason!

A an>s eotions are never #ractical! This is why,

4n the eotional atter of love, en and woen so often lash! And #erha#s

4t is a beneficial thing for the race that a woan>s eotions are #ractical! 3or

4f neither the an nor the woan curbed the ettlesoe Pegasus Eotion, ethinks

the colts and fillies would want for hay and oats! 0 0 0

4t is a oot Duestion which is the ore fatally fascinating% the unifored nurse or the

weeded widow! But

?ho has yet discovered the secret s#rings of fascination 3or ea#le,

How is it that certain eyes and li#s will enthrall, while others leave us cold and inert

'oes the #otency lie in the eyes and the li#s, or is there soe inscrutable and #sychic #ower At all events, who will e#lain how it is that

A an will soeties forsake the ost beautiful of wives and a woan will forsake thekindest of husbands to follow recklessly one who adits no co#arison with the one

forsaken All we can say is that

The #otency of #ersonality eceeds the #otency of beauty! 3or, Powerful as is #hysical

char, it counts not for all in the atter of love! "et what it ay be that does count, andhow and why it does count, no an living shall say! 3or

4s even love aware of all its seeks And

4s it given to any to grant all that love beseeches And yet

?ere all love sought bestowed, what seDuel

Perha#s >t were well to leave love but sei$satisfied! At botto the real Duestion is this%

?hat will win and kee# e another heart But



Beware tiidity,it is fatal!

F) 'anton

0 0 0

?ith woen, nothing is ore conDuering than conDuestC nothing so irresistible asresistance! 2n the other hand,

&esistance on the #art of the woan is an effort #ut forth for the #ur#ose of defeating its

own object!

0 0 0

A an #riJes only what he has fought for! 8o one knows this better than a woan! Thisis why

A woan>s ca#itulation she always akes to a##ear as a ca#ture! And

?here there are no defense works, a woan will erect the!

3oolish that an who does not stor entrenchents! 3or

&esistance on the #art of a woan is a wall which a an is e#ected to lea#! His agility is

the easure of her a##robation!

0 0 0

Arouse a woan>s interest, and you arouse uch! But

Having failed, disa##ear! "et

4t takes very any futile atte#ts to ake a failure! At the sae tie,

4#ortunity is an inferior wea#on!

0 0 0

A conditional surrender is no surrender! But

A woan>s surrender is in reality a desertion, a going over to the eney!

Thenceforward she is an ally! 4ndeed

A woan>s ca#itulation is her conDuest!

0 0 0



The feeling for beauty is #robably ore highly develo#ed in an than in woan! F8! B!

Perha#s this is the source of the beauty of woen! 8evertheless,

4t is a Duestion that #erha#s will never be settled, how uch value should be #laced u#onere beauty! 3or

;an soon tires of ere beauty! 4n fact, an, the inconstant creature, soon tires of ere

anything!

0 0 0

Beauty should never be analyJed! At sight of graceful neck, who s#eaks of usculussterno$cleido$astoideusC at touch of oist red li#s, who thinks u#on the cor#uscles of

Paccini

0 0 0

;ore woen are wooed for their co#leions than for their characters!

0 0 0

6ould woen only know it, nothing can add to their chars% how #rovokingly delightfulis the unifored deureness of an hos#ital nurse beside the elaborate bediJenents of a

woan of fashion

0 0 0

The ost beautiful thing known aong en is% a good woan! And this is not ananoaly!

0 0 0

1he who ca#tures a an by a single char, be it even beauty, holds hi by a weak chain!

Think not it was erely beauty that ade Helen or 6leo#atra historic!

Beauty is uch, and grace is uchC but there is a char ore subtle and #otent than

these!

0 0 0

Beauty without odesty is a rose without #erfue% the #etals ay delight, but they lack

an ineffable savor! Like a flower, too,

Though the tangible #etals are nubered and co#table, the subtle #erfue eludes the

sense and is inehaustible! 3or



o#enly co#e with their less delicately$inded sisters! 8evertheless,

8othing is ore astonishing than a woan>s tact in encouraging a an!

0 0 0

4n courtshi# odulated and usical tones count for uch! ?ho with harsh s#eech wouldassail a lady>s ear

0 0 0

8o woan thinks she can be wooed too often! And

3ew woen can forgo an o##ortunity to fascinate!

0 0 0

4n courtshi# the woan is the whole world to the anC in atriony the an is the

whole world to the woan!

0 0 0

4n courtshi# the slightest sus#icion of condescension is fatal! 3or

True love is a greater leveler than anarchy!

0 0 0

4n courtshi#, the wooer to the wooed is, in 5uliet>s #hrase, the god of her idolatryC in

atriony he is lucky if he is the idol of her deity!

0 0 0

4t is a Duestion which is the sweeter% a s#ontaneous courtshi#, or one that has s#rung fro

friendshi#!

4n a s#ontaneous courtshi# there is all the char of noveltyC

4n a courtshi# that has grown out of affection there is all the trustfulness of friendshi#!But

3riendshi# and courtshi# are two totally distinct things%

4n courtshi#, en and woen eet on the flowery$thorny coon of loveC

4n friendshi#, en and woen invite each other over to their res#ective #lots! 1o,



since

;an, by nature, is #robably noadic and #olygaicC not his to debate whether to give

rein to eotion! ?oan, by nature, is in far different case%

3or the sake of her child, woan ust bind the noad to herself!Accordingly,

4t is woan who is the true agglutinator and civiliJer of society!

Therefore, it coes about that

To order wisely her eotions is the inherited instinct of woan!?herefore,

?oan is the conserver of the nationand this in ore senses than one!

0 0 0 0 0

4@! 2n ;en and ?oen

'io fa gli uoini, e e> s> a##aino!

1alviati

There are two eleents of character which a an should #ossess, develo#, and aintain

unstained if he would find favor in feinine eyes% the first is braveryC the second,

indoitableness of resolution! 1o likewise,

There are two eleents of character which a woan should #ossess, develo#, andaintain unstained if she would find favor in asculine eyes% the first is sy#athyC the

second, sweetness of te#er!

0 0 0

A curious and latent hostility divides the sees! 4t sees as they could not a##roach eachother without alarus and ecursions! Always the #resence of the one rouses aniety in

the breast of the otherC they stand to arsC they resort to tacticsC they aneuver! And,

;en and woen a##roach each other viJored and in aror! But it is often only to conceal

the craven heart that beats beneath the braJen cuirass!

0 0 0

;en judge of woen, not so uch by their intrinsic worth, as by the i#ression woen

ake u#on the! And woen know this, since All woen are alive to the fact that the



i#ressing F- of en is the i#ortant function of life! Accordingly,

Great stress is, and is naturally, laid by woen u#on dress and the subtleties of the

toilette! 3or,

4n atters of the heart an is led by the heart and not by the head! F)And why not 1ince

4t is generally a sweet$heart, not a hard head, that a an wants! 4n short,

;en are oftener vanDuished by a look than by logicC by a gracious sile than by good

senseC by anner and even by dress than by ental develo#ent or de#th! This is to say,

A an judges a woan by her a##earanceC

A woan judges a woan by her otives! FAnd

A woan judges of a woan>s otives by what she knows of her own!1o it coes

about that,

To a an, a woan>s heart is soething ysterious! But

?oen, who know their own hearts, have little difficulty in reading others>!

F- 4t is F#erha#s highly unfortunate that to this word is attached a two$fold signification!

F) Though, as ;r! Grant Allen has endeavored to show, this is a scientific a ethod as

any!

0 0 0

8o units of easureent yet devised are adeDuate for the co#utation of the #ower

wielded by a beautiful woan!

0 0 0

That is a significant fact, and #robably, could we fatho all the #rofundities and unravel

all the entangleents of the relations between the sees, as dee# and as intricate as

significant, that no woan thinks a an can #ay her a higher co#lient than to wish toake her his own! 3or though

?oan thinks an her ultiate ai and desire, 8ature knows that an is but the

ste##ing$stone to the child! 4n the end woan agrees with 8ature! ?e ay go farther, and

say

?oen are nearer the eternal laws than are en! ;en govern theselves by the laws



;an, as a eber of a #olitical counity, ay ake arriage laws to suit that

counitylaws to suit that counitylaws de vinculo atrionii and laws de

ensa et thoro, decrees nisi #rius and decrees absoluteC but

Law can no ore bind the affections than it can bind the sweet influences of the Pleiades!

And yet, at botto,

Beneath all unici#al and #arochial regulations, a great and cosic law does govern the

relations of the seesC and

The lightest whi of the lightest lady has a definite, #erha#s a cosic, fount and origin!

0 0 0

A an can never know too uch! Perha#s a woan can! And

4t is a Duestion how far a an adires a woan who knows too uch! 3or,

4f there is nothing a an can teach a woan, not even of the ways of love, the an is a#t

to be chagrined! Besides,

Too uch knowledge is iniical to roance!

0 0 0

?ar is a an>s true tradeC love, woan>s!

0 0 0

There is no stronger arguent against the eDuality of the sees than a woan>s hand! 4t

was ade to toil 8oC to #lace in her lover>s! 4n truth,

4s there anything ore fragile in nature than a woan>s hand But #ut it in her lover>s!and what a force it has

Anoaly of anoalies, with woen, fragility, delicacy, de#endence, beauty, grace,it is

by these weak wea#ons that she wins! 1o,

?e watch a deure dasel of soe siteen sunny suers uch as we watch a delicatedynao of soe thousand kilowatts!

Both see so cal, so Duiescent! "et both, we know, can generate such startling energy,

can bring about such arvelous results!

0 0 0



0 0 0

A an in defeat generally turns to woan! A woan in defeat is either scornful, silent, or

both!

A an, in de#ression, falls back u#on his only wea#on% brute force! A woan, in likecircustances, does the sae! But her wea#on is #ersonal char!

0 0 0

4n atters aatory and aternal, a woan will risk ore than will a an!

4n fact,

4n atters aatory and aternal, woan is the truly cobative anial!

0 0 0

;any are the ebers of the one se that are entra##ed by the wiles of the otherC but it

often ha##ens that the entra##er afterwards rues the ca#ture as uch asor even ore

thanthe entra##ed! 1o, it often ha##ens that

Girls who are deliberately seeking husbands think love ay be won by artifice! 8ot untilwell on in years do

?oen know that, by en, love and artifice are considered ortal foes!

To win hi a wife by artifice would be to a an a thing i#ossible and abhorrent% yet

To win her a husband by artifice is to a woan a thing Duite natural!

But

?hen Fif ever the an discovers that he was won by artifice, there are a#t to be several

bad Duarters of an hour! 3or, when all is said and done,

The an, free and easy, thoughtless and untraeled, knowing he ay #ick and choose,

never chooses tilltillthere coes the woan he thinks he wants! Then he says #oint blank he wants her! 1hould it ever be revealed to hi that his ?ant was the result of her

Artifice, a very different co#leion is #ut u#on that ?ant! 2n the other hand,

The woan, de#rived of the #ower of choice, traeled by convention, bound to wait

till asked for, Duite naturally resorts to artifice! And yet, curiously enough, and a thinginco#rehensible by an,

A an who a woan has won by sheer artifice, she can love to the end of her life! But,

after all,



?hat a refuge, to an, is workor #lay Alas

?oen has no refuge! 1o,

;en cannot suffer longC woen do!

A an flies to work, or s#ort, or to the gaing$table, or to drink! A woan ! ! ! ! ! !

He who can tell what a woan does in the sorrow of the soul, will tell us uch!

1oe woen, in sorrow of soul, eat out their hearts in silenceC other woen, in sorrow of soul, will tell us uch! 1oe woen, in sorrow of soul, eat out their hearts in silenceC

other woen, in sorrow of soul, eat out the hearts of others, not in silence! But

Take a taciturn woan seriously! 3or always

A taciturn woan has suffered uch%

A taciturn woan is a lonely one! And #robably,

4t is only woen who really know loneliness%

Give a an a full eal and an outlet for his energyhe is fairly contentedC for

A an always has friends or a clubC woen rarely have either!

0 0 0

The ost su#erb of #hysical chars are #owerless unless fired by iaginationC as the

ost destructive of e#losives is harless without a ca# or a detonator! But,

Given, a detonator, and the coarsest #owder can work treendous havoc!

0 0 0

?hat, #recisely, will bring a #articular an to her feetthat is, #ar ecellence, the

feinine #roble% and any and various are the e#erients by which she tries to

resolve it! And,

3ew are the en who learn that were won by e#erient! 3or,

;an succubs to his eotions! He cannot co#rehend how it is that

4nto feinine eotion, calculation often enters!

0 0 0



As there are two classes of warriors, so there are two classes of woen%

There is the warrior who conDuers the world fro sheer love of conDuest an Aleander,

a Genghis 9han, an Attila, a 8a#oleonC and there is the warrior who ca#tures a kingdofor the sake of #ossessionsuch is your 8oran ?illia!

1o, there is the woan who no conDuest contentsAholibah, 6leo#atra, ;esalina,

3austineC and there is the woan who is ha##y with a husband and hoe'eborah,

:lnia, 6al#urnia other of Gracchi!

0 0 0

2ne thing, fro en, woen cannot abide, and this is a hostile and

&EA128ABLE attitude! And naturally, since

4t is only an>s reason that is hostile to woen! And ?hen a an clothes hiself with

reason as with a garent, woan slinks away! And, Duite naturally%

&eason and eotion are ortal foesC and

4t is on the field of eotion that the battle of love ust be fought!

3or,

4n the battle of love, the woan chooses and entrenches her #ositionC the an has to act

on the offensive! But

2nly eotion can co#e with eotionC reason but beats the air! ?herefore,

A wise an will neither o##ose nor a##eal to a woan through reason!

0 0 0

?ho can #enetrate to the otives of a woan>s coaings "et

3oolish is the an who Duestions the otives of a woan>s coaings! "et

8ot to be sure of a woan>s coaingsnot u#on this side Phlegethon is there a ore #oignant #osition!

0 0 0

4n loving one woan a an believes in all woen! And

8ot till a woan is loved are her finger$ti#s objects of devoutest worshi#! 2n the other

hand,

4t cannot be said that in loving one an a woan believes in all en!



?hich little distinction is #roof, #erha#s, that

Love blinds the eyes of en, but o#ens the eyes of woen! 4n other words,

Passion obfuscates an>s #revisionC it does not obfuscate a woan>s!

;an gives the rein to #assion or ere he knows whither it leadsC

A woan gives the rein to #assion only after she has found out whither it leads! But whenthe goal is known, #erha#s

?oen are ore i#lacable votaries of the 4#lacable Goddess than are en! That is the

say,

A woan kee#s her head till she can give her heart, then she gives it utterlyC

A an F#erha#s because he has no heart soon enough loses his head! 1o,

Before the gift, a woan>s Duals eas#erate the anC

After the gift, the an>s indifference eas#erates the woanC

0 0 0

4t is folly to think that love and friendshi# ehaust the varieties of huan relationshi#s%

The relationshi#s between earthly souls are as co#le and ultifor as those between

heavenly bodies!

4n one thing does friendshi# ecel love% it is always reci#rocalC one friend #resu##osesanother! 8ot so a lover!

3riendshi# is largely a asculine sentientCece#t aong schoolgirls!

The friendshi# that eists between a an and a woan should be called by another nae!

4t cannot be wholly Platonic F<C it need not be wholly 'antesDue! "et woen generallystrive to ake it the oneC and en often try to ake it the other! And yet again,

How any woen there be, would, if they could, transute love into friendshi# That isto say,

?oen regard a an>s friendshi# as a delicate flattery to theselvesC yet theyinstinctively know, though they try hard to forget, that a an>s friendshi# for a woan is

etreely likely to transcend the bounds of friendshi#!

4f only friendshi# would kee# within bounds How any woen deceive theselves into



The asculine se has develo#ed uscle and indC

The feinine se develo#ed and #erfected the eotions! Accordingly,

;an>s eotions are the #riitive wea#ons of a savageC

?oan>s eotions are ars of #recision! "et

1oeties woan de#lores the uneDual contest#erha#s de#lores her too$easy victory!1ince,

4n doestic life, the wea#ons are laid aside, the #air are then #resuablyunared

and defenseless! 3or, though,

A at has to be won by wea#ons,

;arriage should be a treaty of #eace% thenceforth the cobatants are allies!

;any a an, when ensnared, has been aaJed at the siJe of the eshes!

2nly a woan knows by what o#en ethods floundering en are ca#tured!

0 0 0

He who by reasoning thinks to find out woan, ust either be a #hiloso#her or a fool

#robably both!

Less of a #hiloso#her and ore of a fool is he who thinks to etract fro woan her reasons for her actions! The woan who can give reasons for an action is yet to be born!

The reason is #lain%

?oen act u#on intuition, not u#on reason! And

He who could ake a logical sorites out of feinine intuitions could ake a #hiloso#hical syste out of nautical alanacs! And yet, #robably,

6ould we only deterine her orbit, a woan>s intuitions are as eact as the #aths of the

#lanets! 7nfortunately,

1uch are the #erturbations to which a woan>s orbit is e#osed that no asculine

astronoy can construct its e#heeris! Alack, How any anious star$gaJers are thereaong en The orbit of the ordinary ale an it is not as difficult for a woan to

co#ute, inasuch as

The ordinary ale an revolves unusually about two foci% his A##etitesC and his

Abitions!?hich is the ajor and which the inor ! ! ! ! However,



"ou ay trust woen to know when he is in #eri$and when in a#helion!

;any a s#ouse has no difficulty in e#laining away to her lord actions about the character

of which even his initiate friends have no shadow of doubt! 3or

A woan>s #erce#tion is #reternatural! But noC it is natural enough, since

3ro the days of the first woan to the days of the 8ew one, love, its wiles and its

whis, has been the serious business of woan!

0 0 0

?oen know uch better than en that stolen bread is sweetest! 4n conseDuence,

;en steal alost everything they get fro woen!At least they think they do! ?hichis the sae thing!

0 0 0

4f the sees were to change #laces, ore arriage licenses would be taken out!

0 0 0

>3railty,> says an, >thy nae is woan,>and then he takes advantage of it!

0 0 0

At ar>s length it is difficult to offer a hel#ing hand! "et it is haJardous to reduce thatdistance!

0 0 0

8eglect is the un#ardonable sin in a woan>s eyes! ?oe to the an who is guilty of it!

0 0 0

4f a woan #ossessed only a an>s tact, what fallings$out there would be

0 0 0

;an>s suu bonu is to cobine a cofortable hoe with congenial club!

?oan>s suu bonu is the alost eDually inco#atible cobination of a well$

regulated faily and the height of fashionable gaiety!

;an>s infinu alu is doestic distraction!



?oan>s infinu alu is social eile!

0 0 0

Between an and an, to lay another under #ecuniary obligation is to jeo#ardiJe

friendshi#! Between an and woan, a like cause brings about an o##osite result!

0 0 0

The an with soething of the feinine about hi often knows better than his ore

asculine rivals how to work u#on feinine susce#tibilities!

0 0 0

;ost woen know how uch to leave to a an>s iagination!But then, an has notuch iagination! Besides,

;an>s iagination is always highly co#lientary to woan!

0 0 0

Affinity covereth a ultitude of sins!

0 0 0

To attract soeties reDuires te#orary re#ulsion! But

1oe woen iscalculate their satellite>s orbit! ?ith the result that either it rushes on tocertain destruction, or it #asses beyond the liits of gravitation!

The woan who to one an is no ore than the sub$stratu of frock and bonnet, is to

another an the centre of gravity of the created cosos!

?hen she is such centre to ore than one an, her horosco#e is difficult to cast!

0 0 0

?hen one heart lays siege to another , both sides throw u# entrenchentsC and this even

when both belligerents are ready to negotiate for surrender! But,

8ever, never show that you e#ect ca#itulation! And

3lank oveents are not to be recoended!

0 0 0



4n conversation, the last thing a woan e#ects fro a an is inforation, unless it be

inforation concerning hiself! 4n fact,

Talk is a ere subterfuge! 4t is what is left unsaid that tells! 8evertheless,

?hen once the troth has been #lighted, both ; and 8 try to utter what has been left

unsaid! But always with indifferent success! Alack and well$a$day,

6an Love ever say what it feels

0 0 0

4t is difficult to say to which se it is a greater co#lient that widows always #rovesuch successful fascinators! Either they still have a #enchant for ankind, des#ite their

intiate acDuaintance with hiin which case the en ay congratulate theselvesC or

else they have so co#letely found en out that they find no difficulty in entra##ingthe in which case it is the woen>s turn to a##laud!

0 0 0

?hen our feelings are unwittingly hurt by a beautiful woan, the #ain is largely

te#ered by a subtle #leasure, which #roceeds fro a feeling that, inasuch as we have

been undeservedly #ained, we erit her sy#athy, #erha#s even her affection!

0 0 0

?oen seek not so uch an>s estee, as his adiration! 4n fact,

0 0 0

?oen would rather attract than ins#ire!4ndeed, Fby hi who dared it ight be added

that

?oen would rather be kissed than be sonnetted,which is ighty lucky for theajority of en

0 0 0

The ost interesting an or woan iswell, #erha#s the one ost interested in us!

The least interesting an or woan iswell, #erha#s the one ost interested in hi$or

her$self!

0 0 0



8ever fear but that one woan will urge your suit with another Funless, of course, that

other is a rivalC for

;atch$aking is one of the ost fascinating of feinine avocations!

0 0 0

?hen a woan allows it to be understood that she considers herself irresistible to the

other se, she draws u#on herself the odiu of her own! By the other se, however, such

a woan is very differently regarded! 4ndeed,

;en regard the avowed coDuette not at all with alice, but with a very o##osite feeling,of which #erha#s auseent, adiration, and a certain aicable defiance are the chief

ingredients!

0 0 0

4t is only ountains that are volcanic or are snow$ca##edC the #lains know nothing of

etrees of frigidity or fire!

0 0 0

To the woan who he has ceased to love, the an is soeties unconsciously cruel!

Towards the an who she has ceased to love, the woan coonly acts a #art!

0 0 0

3or a woan to huiliate one an in the #resence of another is an offence which neither

of the en is likely to forget! 8or will the one an have a less un#leasant recollection of it than the other!

0 0 0

4t is curious to listen to the e#lanations by one woan of the reasons of the

attractiveness of another woan! :ery a#t is she to say that the other woan is too freeand easy, too liberal of her favors, too e#ansive of her sy#athy, too ehibitive of her

chars!Ahe

?oen know woen! And

?oen know that woen know en! And

?oen know that en do not know woen!Ahe;en in this res#ect aresoewhat different%



A an usually regards not ungenerously the Dualities of his successful rivalC a woan

never! The forer will candidly adit the #ossession of a ore #otent charC the latter

will trace it to the crudest of causes! 4n a word,

The unsuccessful an blaes, not his rival, nor the woen he loses, but hiself!

The unsuccessful woan blaes, never herself, but either the outrageous

eretriciousness of her rival, or the blindness of the an she loses! 3ro which it ay

once ore be deduced that The unsuccessful woan blaes, never herself, but either theoutrageous eretricousness of her rival, or the blindness of the an she loses! 3ro

which it ay once ore be deduced that ;en are won by ore #riitive eans than are

woen! And, alas for en Falas also for any woen,

The ajority of en are so blind, so aboinably blind, that they cannot distinguish thewoen who are really in love with the, fro the woen who #retend to be in love with

the, but are not! 3or because,

1o co#letely do woen know en, that it is easy for any woan to delude any an!

This is one of the reasons why

Every woan is the rival of every other woan%

This woan will be herself, her own true, si#le, and virtuous selfC will resort to no

subterfuge, ado#t no eretricious ethods, scorn to rely u#on tactics or strategy, be ever

reserved, reluctant, shyCyet fail!

This other woan will o#enly and blatantly, overtly and unconcernedly, assail the

asculine heart with word and look and gestureand win! Ach the #urblindess of theasculine heart how it eas#erates even the woan

0 0 0

That an has sunk low who cannot recogniJe and res#ect the renant of se even in adegraded woan!

0 0 0

?oan can #ersuade theselvesand enfar ore easily than can a an, of the

#ro#riety of their actions!

0 0 0

;an is #owerless before an injured woan! He has no ore dangerous foe than this!

0 0 0



4t is the an who seeks ecuses! The woan braves it out!

0 0 0

6oDuetry is Love>s lady>s$aid! 1he is accessory and ancillary to LoveC she bediJens

Love, she tricks her out in gay a##arel!

?hen Love>s lord and aster enters, y lady>s aid is disissed! F4t ight be as well

soeties to recall her! And

8udity ousts coDuetry!

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6hastity is a word with as any shades of eaning as there are #eo#les #erha#s asthere are individualsu#on the face of this habitable world!

?oen think chastity is a virtue #riarily insisted u#on and enforced by en! They

istake! >T is a virtue #riarily insisted u#on and enforced by woen% 3or

?hen that divine, uniDue thing Love coes to a woan, if she be not chaste, it is she

who de#lores the fact! The an ay easily enough be deceivedC her own heart a woancan never deceive! Besides,

?ith what righteous indignation woen theselves visit unchastity

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Between the sees, resentent is the worst of defensive wea#ons% in the hands of a an it

is like a cow$hide shield o##osed to ;auser bulletsC in the hands of a woan, like a #arasol on a cloudy day! 1ince

?oan #enetrates resentent by ridiculeC an treats it with dull indifference! And

A snub fro a woan is never forgotten! And for two reasons% because

Fa The lord of creation hates to be floored by the jiu$jitsu of feinine railleryC and

because

Fb The last thing a an e#ects fro a inistering angel is undane ockery!

Besides,

'eliberate derision urders, not only affection, but adiration!

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for this reason%

?oan is, and knows herself to be, a ulti#le #ersonalityC

;an, a tyro in eotions, is cast in a si#ler ould! 1o,

A woan ay donate herself #ieceeal, or over and over again, yet dee herself #erfectly loyal!And #erha#s naturally and legitiatelyC for,

That an who will co#rehend and a##reciate all the intricacies of feinine eotion ! ! !

! ! ! ! but there is no such being eistent! 4ndeed even

1elf$revelation is a task no daughter of Eve has achieved!

0 0 0

To su u#% between en and woen

The consuation of love is a bodily oblation, the outcoe of s#iritual obsession! ;ust 4 e#lain this 8o, 4 shall not! 1uffice it to say that

The Heavenly A#hrodite is true friend to the Earthly!F( 1o

8othing offends loveC since love finds in all that savors of the ortal only a sybol and

e#itoe of the su#ernatural! And

There is in Love a cosic force and secret inco#rehensible, incounicable by an!

4s not, after all, Love the one su#ree and significant fact of the cosos% indelible,

indeci#herable% efflorescing in ;anC eerging fro the aterialC idealiJing the carnalC

#ointing to an inscrutable, a s#iritual goal 6an it be that

4f we could e#lain Love, we should e#lain the cosos ?hat if we could e#lain whyit is that no one single isolated #ortion of the cosos can live aloneand vaunt itself in

itself sufficientF., but ust seek soe other single and isolated #ortion of the cosos

in order that that very cosos shall continue, shall evolve, shall go towards its goal ! ! !'o we #ut our finger here u#on soe curious and recondite cosic fact utterly

transcending our ean co#rehension

F( 6f! Plato, 1y#osiu, -N* et seD!

F. 1!T! 6oleridge, Lectures on 1hakes#eare!

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@! 2n 5ealousy

! ! ! la jalousie ! ! ! onster odieu! ;oliere

>?are jealousy as you would >ware wire% for it no #sychiater has yet discovered a bal!

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To ake an e#erient of jealousy is to ake a very haJardous e#erient indeed!

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5ealousy is no #roof of love, for

2ften jealousy is but rancor under a sense of huiliation! 4ndeed,

5ealousy is a sign of weakness%

The lover whose self$confidence assures hi of his #re$einence fears no rival! "et

;ale self$confidence is #eculiarly vulnerable where woen be concerned, since,

As no an knows what it is a##eals to a woan, he does not know on what to #ride

hiself%

Even an 2thello is jealous of even an 4ago! "et

4t is only the s#ectators who see the folly of 2thello!'esdeonas usually are hel#less as they are oblivious!

0 0 0

The illicitly favored lover is never jealous of the husbandC but of another illicitly favored

lover, how jealous he is! But

5ealousy, like odesty, and like virtue, varies with every tie and clie% what iscustoary in 6airo would rouse consternation in 9ent, and what goes on in :ienna

shocks 8ew England! 1o,

How the husband favored lover differs also with every tie and clie% here he is ulcted

in daages, there he is shot down, in a third #lace he is tolerated!

How the woan thinks her husband should treat the illicitly favored lover that youshall never find out!

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The edacity of jealousy is una##easable%

A wronged lover, in his #ain, looks for ore #ain to bear% like a artyr in an ecstasy, he

cries out for further tortures! 4n love one always sees higher unreachable heightsC in jealousy always dee#er unreachable de#ths! And

There is no wound but leaves its cicatri!

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;istrust an une#ected change of front! 1o,

'oes your erstwhile frowning lady sile chercheJ l>hoe, or la fee!

1ince

To arouse jealousy in another feinine breast is soeties the otive of feinine

co#laisance! 4ndeed,

3ew woen can forgo an o##ortunity of arousing jealousy, whether in a feinine or in a

asculine breast!Bethink thee of this little fact, 2 an, when net thy lady co#ortsherself thee wards ultra$graciously!

To see the girl of thy hearteven if so be she not thine, nor not nearly thineco#ort

herself with another as she does with theeah that gives a twinge to the asculine

heart! 8ay, lesser things than this will #erturb this irascible organ% that the other shouldadire her charsthat she should acce#t such adiration! ! ! !! yet what cares she that

these discofort a an 3or

A an>s discofiture is naught to a woan! 4n sooth,

Take a woan to task for her conduct, and with how soft an answer she will turn awayyour wrath, how deftly ake light of your rival>s advances

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;an, when he has won hi a woan, is, in his great greed of #ossession, infinitely

chagrined that he was not aster of her #ast as of her #resent and future!This goes by

the nae of la jalousie retros#ective!

0 0 0

?oen never know Duite how to regard a an>s jealousy! 4t flatters her, yet it #ains her!

1he is the cause of it, yet she would believe it causeless! 1he de#lores it, yet she would

not have it Duite away! 4t is #roof of love, yet it is fatal to love! How to treat it, #uJJlesher! 4#licit obedience to the an>s wishes lowers her in her own eyes, and,

conseDuently, so she thinks, in his! "et so rabid is the eotion, she fears to #rovoke it too



far! 4t #laces her in a Duandary! 1he never knows what will evoke itC she never knows

what course it will run% whether it will ceent her lover>s affections, or whether it will

dissi#ate the forever!

4t is love>s ost dangerous foe, and it is dangerous because it is insidious! 4f there is any

one thing that #uts a woan>s wits to the test, it is a an>s jealousy!

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The sheerest and ost insensate folly a an can coit towards a woan is to let her

know that another woan is cogniJant of her jealousy of her! He ay give the latter avery keen #leasureC but he gives the forer a very keen #ang! 3or

The cause of jealousy a woan ay condoneC the divulgence of her jealousy she will

never forgive!

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?hat irritates a jealous an is the actions that cause his jealousyC

?hat irritates a jealous woan is the #erson who is the cause of her jealousy! 4n other

words,

A jealous swain u#braids his istressC

A jealous istress objurgates her rival!

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@4! 2n 9isses and 9issing

1ag ir, wer einst das 9ussen efrund'as war ein gluhend glucklicher ;undC

Er kusste und dachte 8ichts daberi!

Heine

;any are the varieties of kissesC as any, #robably, as the varieties of kissesC as any, #robably, as the variety of li#sand of the owners thereof! And

A kiss ay ean so very uchor so very little! ?herefore

Look not u#on the li#s when they are redCfor althoughA kiss is a sall thing, so is a s#ark! And always, though



A sile is an o#en window, a kiss is an o#en door!

1trangestrangethat fro the oentary contact of li# with li#, an infinitesial

surface of e#ithelial tissue, there an be called u# fro the dee#s of the soul eotionsstrange as dee#C eotions vague and thrillingC eotions to the which to give utterance

those li#s are theselves all #owerless! And

?hen to the conjoined li#s there is added the bliss of an u#$turned eye and ebracing

ars ! ! ! ! ! Ah well$a$day,

There are Edens for us still, if only we will eat not of the forbidden fruit!

0 0 0

The value of a kiss is deterined by the #ersonage on who it is bestowed, not by the

fro who it is besought% which, if it needs any e#lanation, eans this, that

4t is the an who ardently desires the kiss that #uts the value u#on that kiss, not the

woan of who it is desired! "et woen know that,

As with coodities, so with kissings, the greater the rarity, the greater the vale!

2sculatory transactions there be as lasting in their results as transient in their causes!

0 0 0

A cheek surre#titiously brushed in the dark is #referable to li#s #reittedly #ressed by

day!

0 0 0

?hat an etraordinary ulti#licity of aneuvers a an will #erfor for

5ust one kiss But

?ith the #recise nuerical eDuivalent of the e#ression 5ust one kiss algebra has not

yet been found Duite able to gra##le! 4t is believed, however, to belong to Perutationsand 6obinations!

There is a very decided, but wholly indefinable, line of dearcation between the kissedand the unkissed woan! 4n other words,

The status Duo ante eosculatione can never be re$established% hitherto the kisses ay

have been friendsC henceforward they ay be! ! ! they ay be ! ! ! ! ! ! But

?ho shall say to what kissing ay lead Besides,



;uch ore kissing than is su##osed goes by #urchase than by favor! All which, #robably,

will be Greek to the uninitiated! 8evertheless, and at all ties, and in all #laces,

A kiss is like faith% it is the evidence of things not seen, the substance of things ho#edfor!

0 0 0

How a##alling the iensity of the results due to the inutest of causes a burning city

fro a lighted atchC a life$long tragedy fro a stolen kiss 4n truth,

3ate is often another nae for 3olly!

0 0 0

A woan who is afraid of a kiss knows uch! Aongst other things, #erha#s, that

9isses, like isfortunes, rarely coe singlyand bear any things in their train!

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'es#ite the varieties of beards and ustachios, never will you hear fro your osculatri

the source of her knowledge of that variety!

4f by any chance the divulgence leaks outhow the girl beshrews the ischance 3or,though the an ay hold his #eace, she knows that she gives hi to think!

0 0 0

4t takes two to ake a Duarrel! "es% and it takes two to ake the reconciliating kiss!

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@44! 2n Engageents and on Being Engaged

6hale#on to ae #hilaesai

6hale#on de kai #hilaesai Anacreon!

Perha#s the #leasantest and ost satisfactory #eriod in a girl>s life is the tie of her first

youthful engageent%

8ever is a girl ore jubilant, never ore buoyant, never so charing, so blithesoe, or

so debonair, as when she is the gaJetted about$to$be bride of the an of her girlish



choice! 3or

'uring her engageent, a girl is owned and #ettedC and

2wnershi# and #etting are dear to woenwhether young or old%

2wnershi# is #roof, at all events, that she is of value to the anelse the an would notsought to ake her hisC and

Petting is #roof that the an #ro#erly a##reciates the value! "et eanwhile, anoalous as

it ay sound,

The engaged girl is still her own #ro#erty, and is #ractically free!Besides,

?hat ore delectable to a girl than to have ca#tured and ke#t a real an This flatters

her, u#lifts her, akes of her a woan at once% she holds her head higher she carries

herself with an airC she shows off her ca#ture! Besides, also,

The engaged girl is looked u# to by her co#eers, is congratulated y her elders! Even if she kee#s the engageent secret, these co#eers and congratulatresses do not

Fsoeties, alas To her detrient!4n addition to all this,

?hat delight so uniDue as the #re#aration of the trousseau )<=

Trousseau>T is a nae of ystical i#ort to an!

A woan>s trousseau is sybol of two thingsand #erha#s dily indicative of a third%

Fi it #roveswhat needs no #roofthat, such is the unselfish nature of Love, never canit give enough, never enhance too uch the gifts it gives! Accordingly the bride goes to

the an a##areled and bedecked to the best of her abilityC

Fii 4t is a subtle tribute to the sensibility of an, of the an in love, who is stiulated

and #leased by dainty, it ay be dia#hanous, raient! Lastly, since even that su#ernal

thing Love is not unconcerned with atters #ractical,

Fiii 4t bes#eaks as #ro#hetic sus#icion of the little fact that #erha#s it is well to go to her husband>s hoe abundantly #rovided with dainty raient, inasuch as the an not in

love is not always so delicately sensible of their need!

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A girl>s first engageent is #eculiarly sweet% long does she reeber, long editatively

dwell u#on, its #ettiest incidents! 3or, if any an dared give utterance to so outrageous anassu#tion,

The eoluents of a #roise to arry are as sweet to the donatress as undoubtedly they



are to the acce#ter!And why not, #ray 8evertheless,

A certain #ractical sobriety su#ervenes u#on subseDuent affairs of the heart! 3or

The recurrence of love is a#t to s#oil its roance! And yetand yet

4t is a Duestion which woan after woan has #ut herself, in vain, whether >t would have been wiser to have acce#ted and retained the roantic love of unthinking youth, or to

have waited for the ore sober affection of the years of discretion!

Perha#s a girl hardly knows all that is eant by that thing called love or what is

entailed u#on her by that thing called an engageent! 1he has #layed with love souch, that when a real and serious love is offered her, she still thinks it the toy that

aused her! But

1oon enough does the an, if he is earnestand a an never #ro#oses unless he is in

earnestenlighten the girl of his choice% for

To a an, love never is a toythough ere lust ay be%

;en never #lay with love, as do girls% they #lay with lust,as they #lay with bats and

balls and fire$arsC

?hen en fall in love, they fall in love with a vengeanceC and

The seriousness with which the an falls in love startles the girl!

The an deands so uchC is so eacting> so #ere#toryC so unyieldingC so frightfullyselfishC so terribly jealous of the slightest look or sile or gesture bestowed u#on any

other than he, that the girl ! ! ! ! ! ! well, the girl #robably begins to think, either that the

an is an unreasonable brute, or that her girlish notions of love were soewhat astray!Then one or two things ha##ens% either the an goes off in a huffC or the girl ends her

ways!

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The recurrence of a love is a great shock to love! Love thinks itself a think uniDue,

unalterable, su#reeC a thing not ade out of the flu and change of earthly affairs, but

heaven$born and descended fro the skiesC that it should go and coe sees to destroythe fundaental conce#tion of love!

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The affianced an thinks he has won hi the sweetest, the ost sacrosanct thing thatever trode God>s earth outside of Eden% a bundle of blisses, a co#act little ass of

eDuisite ysteries, whose every tint and curve and otion are to hi sources of



wonderent and delightC he is at once hubled and ealtedC he thanks high Heaven for

the giftC for that co#ort hiself worthy of such giftC for that this wondrous and

ysterious little thing called a woan should of her own accord #ut herself in his ars,to be by hi and by hi alone cherished and nurtured till death the do #artthis

indeed gives the ail heart a very sobering, a very ennobling thrillC for beneath the

heaving breast he so #assionately loves, behind the eyes into the de#ths of which he so #assionately looks, there stirs, he knows, that ineffable, that indefinable thing, a woan>s

heartC and that T2 H4; has been coitted the kee#ing of that heartthis rouses in hi

the anly virtues as no other thing rouses the! 1trong is the an who can live u# tothese eotionsC sage the woan who knows what she has aroused!

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The #hilanderer or the flirtto who love$aking and love$taking have been a #asttie

is a##alled at the seriousness of love when real love is offered hi or her! 3or often

enough

The #hilanderer or the flirt thinks co#lients and cajolery the food of love% in tie they

discover that love is a veritable sarco#hagus

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;any an acce#ted lover Fboth asculine and feinine tries to ake u# for coldness of

#assion by warness of affection% a subterfuge of dubious efficacy! 3or though

Affection seeks affection, #assion is only a##eased by #assion! "et

?hen one loves #assionately, and the other languidly acce#ts, it is well #erha#s for thatother soeties to be a little unfaithful to the truth F- and to siulate an unfelt ardor!

But, always this is of Duestionable value, for

Love abhors siulation of anything even of ardor!

F- Tennyson, Love and 'uty!

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4f utual confidence is not established at the oent of betrothal, it will never

afterwards be established! And

?oeful will be the #light of those between who utual confidence is not thenestablished! 3or

;utual confidence is the only atos#here in which love can breathe!

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An engaged an, like a hungry an, is an irascible an! And How often a fiancKe is sore

#ut to it, not only to satisfy hi, but to #acify hi

0 0 0

A woan will often blandly ask why the two rivals to her hand should not be friends "etit is significant of uch that she does her utost to kee# the a#art 4ndeed,

4n no instance are a woan>s tact and finesse so eercised as in #laying off one an

against another!And yet usually she delights in the taskC for

Being$ade$love$to is to woen what killingwhether of en or of anialsis to en!4n a word,

To be sought after is to woan what war or the chase is to an!

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The woan a woan acce#ts a an, then and there he becoes her lord and aster! And

this she unconsciously knowsnay, e#ects! 4f the an does not then and there eercisehis lordshi# and show his astery, he will find it difficult to do it later on! But of course

8o woan will ever be got to adit that her newly$won an is her aster!

8evertheless it is counsel that every an should lay to heart, for

7nless a woan is doinated F8!E! not doinated over, she tries to get the u##er hand!

And

2nly two instances there are in which the woan should retain the u##er hand% when the

an is either a #hiloso#her or a foolC

?hen a an is both Fand the cobination is not uncoon, she would be a fool if she

did not retain the u##er hand But

Little does a woan estee hi to does not swaynay, who does not sacrifice, it ay be% her to his will!

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2f that engaged #air who can confidingly s#eak the one t the other of the dawn of their

utual attraction, little need be fearedC if they cannot, very uch ay be feared! 3or

Love, without confidence, is as defunct as faith without works! 3or

4f ; cannot confide in 8, it #robably eans that 9 and L have, or that 2 and P will!



0 0 0

1o treendous are the results of the gift of self that 8ature herself sees to have

ordained that the feinine sacrifice shall be utter and co#lete! 3or,

A an>s interests ay be any and and behold, a bold girl will a##ear and carry off theshy an Perha#s to the life$long chagrin and sorrow of all three!

2ften, oh how often, an awkward and so#histicated youth and a #ri aid with down$

cast eyes will sit together, waltJ together, and the one never get one inch the nearer to the

other, though soul and ind and body crave a closer union! The youth would give thesolid earthnay, the solid earth would be naughtto gain hi the courage to clas# the

aiden to his breastC yet, so intense his awe, he would not strain a s#ider>s web to risk the

aid>s good will!The aidwho shall say what #asses in her ind That the youthshould adventure, she could wishC yet his very hesitancy bes#eaks his devotion true! ?ere

he to fall about her neck, ebrace her close, and deand the kiss of loveost like she

would recoil aghastat first "et if he desistedshe would also recoil aghast!?hatshould he do, #oor awkward youth what she2ne thing onlookers will do% sile, and

si#er, and sile againC but in their inost heart of hearts they will envy that awkward

youth, that si#le aid! 3or because, in this the first sy#tos of unsolicited and

reci#rocal love, they will recogniJe soething of the divine and ystical nature of Loveitself, of Love untraeled by convention or lawC of Love itself, in its #urity, its

intensity, its diffidence, its terrifying yet restraining force!

Ah Love, not in every conflict art thou victor crowned! F)

F) Eros anikate achan!1o#hocles, Antigone, ON-

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@444! 2n ;arriage and ;arried Life

ariston andri ktaea sy#athaes gunae! Hi##othoon

;arriage laws are fraed, not for or by the likes and dislikes of en and woen, but by

the eigencies of social, often of #olitical, econoy! Therefore

;en and woen>s likes and dislikes are obliged to confor to the usages deanded bysocial and #olitical econoy% so

4n Turkey woen acce#t with a good grace the custo of a #lurality of wivesC in Tibet

en acce#t with good grace a #lurality of husbands! 4n the western world !! ! ! Hu#h

Always will there be everywhere #revalent a latent hostility between the likes and



dislikes of en and woen on one hand, and the laws enforced by a social and #olitical

counity on the other! This is why

Always there will be those who will try to refor the arriage state% soe looking onlyto the likes and dislikes of en and woen, others only to the advantages which shall

accrue to the 1tate! 1o,

1oe there will be will always advocate a loosening of the arriage bond, others who

will seek to ake it indissoluble! Both should reeber that

The unit of the 1tate is the failyC therefore the 1tate akes laws, not to suit the tastes or convenience of the husband and the wife, but for the good and #reservation of the faily!

All of which, surely, is right and #ro#er, since

4t is the business of the 1tate to ake laws governing the welfare of the generations to

coe! 4n fine

The childrenthey are the #ivot about which all atrionial controversies should turn!

&eforers of arriage laws should seek a #reventative, not a cureC since

4t is doubtful whether the ills of atriony are really curable, for, generally s#eaking,

;atrionial inco#atibility is a alignant, not a benignant, diseaseC its #rognosis is

doubtfulC nor does it run a regular course!

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;any are the woen who, soon after arriage, silently turn over in their inds this little

#roble% whether it were better to arry the an they loved but who did not love theC

or to arry the an who loved the but to who they were indifferent! And

The an a woan ultiately arries will give her no clue to the solution!And for the following reasons%

Fi He, fond wight, does not know that any such #roble is agitating her little brainC and

Fii 1he, of course, dare not divulge the factors of the #roble! 4n short,

;ost arriages are brought about by the following si#le, yet fateful, consideration% The

an arries the woan he wantsC the woan arries the an who wants her! The two #ro#ositions, though a##arently identical, often #roduce results very far fro identical!

And yet,

1oetiessoetiesthat glorious drea coes true, in which a hale and heart$

whole youth i#lants the first #ure #assionate kiss u#on the li#s of a hale and heart$



whole girl!Ah, ha##y twain 3or the the sun shines, the great earth s#ins, and

constellations shed their selectest influence! >T is a drea that all youth dreas! >T is a

drea akes wakeful life worth living!

Ah the wild drea of youth The aenad drea The s#ring$tie drea

2f the aid% the di, di drea of stalwart an offering a love su#ree without alloy,

and taking, forceful, a love as flawless, as su#reeC a steady breast on which to lean,

strong circling ars, a face set fir against the world, a face that softens only to her u#$turned eyes that seek the lover who is hers and hers aloneC a drea of usic, color, and

the swaying danceC of rivals s#lendidly out$shoneC of hoe and friends and tra##ingsC of

raient! &etinueC of ordered blissC and by and by, in a still dier far$off tie, a tie un$whis#ered to herself, of baby$fingers, baby li#s ! ! ! ! ! !

2f the youthful an% a vivid drea, involved, unsteady, shiftingC a drea of lust and love

and soke, and flae and faeC of cuirass and horse and saberC of blood and battleC of

high #laceC of any doinated by his look and gestureC of ighty an, and ordersissued, #ree#tory, not to be gain saidC also of lithe ars, a su##le waist, sweetly$soft

entwining libs, a gentle girlish woan all his own who never was another>s and always

will be hisC and an heir and household gods!Ah the wild drea of youth

"ouths, drea ye while ye ay And you, ye aged, 4 charge ye do not wake the% it is thedrea akes wakeful life worth living! And yetand yet,

1oetiessoeties, alack and fie for shae, things coe to such a #ass, between

husband and wife, that a odus viviendi has to be tacitly agreed u#on! 4n that case, alas

Too often, between husband and wife, it de#ends u#on who is the better actor and liartotheir shae be it said! But before this ha##ens, uch else ust have ha##ened! 3or,

Here and there, ahe we eet a woan who is like the oon% she circles sedately

round, and dutifully faces, the #lanet to which she is unitedC but that #lanet does not know

that she is irradiated and wared by a far$distant suna sun which syboliJes, ahe'uty, or 8ecessity, or Affection for her children, or Ftell it not in Gath Affection for

another!

And here and there, ahe we eet a an who, like the sun, shines steadfastly enough

u#on his own earth, but shines also, all unbeknown to earth, u#on other earthsand

errant coetsand sall aerolites!

0 0 0

As it is usually #hysical or sentiental characteristics that bring a an and a woan into

the field of utual attraction, so it is generally #hysical or sentiental characteristics that

drag the a#art! Thus,



A clever wife will #ut u# with a stu#id husband, and an intellectual an will get on

adirably with a dull but doestic woan! But

4f either #arty to the arriage contract disregards or is unable to a##ease the deandsade u#on hi or her for sy#athy or eotion, there is likely to be troubleC for

1entient, not intellect, is the ceenting aterial in arriage, and

4f a an and wife cannot effuse a utual sentient, gradually they will grow a#art!

4ndeed,

The deands of the eotions are at once ore i#erious and tyrannical, and orefastidious and critical, than are the deands of the ind! 2f all of which, what is the

oral This%

The arried #air who would live in aity, not to say in affection, ust so live as that

each shall #ersuade the other is the sole #ersonage under the roof of heaven that he or shedesires! Alas

The unwritten otto of any a arried cou#le is% The Heart 9noweth its own Bitterness!

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;arriage reveals the oods of a an!

?hat is an ideal arriage That #erha#s in which the an is to the woan at once friend,

husband, and lover! But soe #eo#le #refer these functions distinct!

That is a ha##y arriage in which a woan>s husband is also her confidant! And always,

Husband and wife should ove like binary stars% revolving about a coon centreC

utually attractiveC and, unless closely viewed, #resenting a single i#ression!

0 0 0

;atriony is soeties a terrible iconoclast! ?hether it throws down the iages of falseor of true gods, de#ends on the religion of the worshi##er!

0 0 0

4t would be difficult, soeties, to deterine whether constancy was an autogenous or

enforced virtue!

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8ever #lay #ranks with your wife, your horse, or your raJor!



0 0 0

There is a thing which not gold nor favor nor even love can buy! 4ts true nae is secretC

but it is content to be called 1y#athy! Accordingly,

Let no an or woan think when he or she has won wife or husband all has been wonthat is necessary! 3or,

4f sy#athy cannot be gained fro one Duarter, it will #robably be sought in another!

0 0 0

At the oent of the foration of a atrionial syndicate of two, each eber of this

as yet unincor#orated joint$stock co#any verily believes that each has #ut into theconcern his whole real and #ersonal #ro#erty! "et it is to be feared that, although

The woan, #ossibly, invests her whole ca#ital, the anoften, no doubt, unwittingly tohiselfretains not a few unatured bonds and debentures! That is to say,

Love, it is to be feared, is often enough a bargain in which the woan coes off second$ best! 3or

A woan gives herselfC an acce#ts the gift!

&arely, if ever, does a an give hiself! He cannot! His work, his #lay, his #olitics, his

friends, his clubthese are atters to hi highly i#ortant!

To a woan the only highly i#ortant things are% her husband and her hoe!

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A woan rules until she tries to rule,which will be an eniga to any!

2ut of a wife>s obedience will grow her governanceC never out of her doinance!Those

who think this sheer nonsense, are welcoe to think so! But it is worth thinking about!

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A an ought to rule his wife! Granted! But he cannot do this unless he rules hiself! The6olonel of a &egient cannot coand if he hiself breaks the 9ing>s or the 1tate>s

&egulations! And

An uncontrolled wife dees her husband indifferentor weak! The nuber of husbandswho, though they think they rule, yet in reality are ruled, would astonishnot their

wives, but theselves!



4t is custoary to call the an the head of the householdC yet, between an and wife, it is

a Duestion after all whether it is not the stronger will and the cooler judgent that should,

and generally does, guide the faily, inde#endent of se or custo!

0 0 0

As in the solar s#ectru, so in love% beyond and interingled with the visible rays of

#assion are nuerous actinic but invisible rays of affection, invisible to careless

s#ectators, but known and felt by the reci#ients! These, too, ust be introduced if theconnubial doicile is to be wared as well as illuinated!

0 0 0

The arriage tie loosens all other ties! 4n fact,

8either en or woen are always aware of the absoluteness of the arriage tie%

thenceforward the woan belongs not to her own #eo#le, hardly to herself!As to thean, well,

2ften a wife will actually be jealous of the tie and attention her husband s#ends on

things and atters unconnected with herhis work his #layhis #oliticshis friends

his club!

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;any are there who still believe that the arriage service, like a legal indenture,

irrevocably entails the whole estate of a huan heart! 4n sober truth,

There never was a arried cou#le yet who had not to #urchase their own ha##iness! And

The only chars that increase in value as tie goes on are the chars of characterC beside these, those of #erson, and even those of ind, are weak! 4n short,

4n arriage, as in every huan relationshi#, it is character that avails and #revails, naught

else!

0 0 0

6heists draw a distinction between a cheical and a echanical iture!;oralists ight discover the sae in arriage!

0 0 0

To encircle onogay with an ever$increasing halo of roancethat is a #roble

deserving of study!



;onogay is one of the disharonies of lifeC it sees Fas 4 have said to be the decree of

#olitics rather than of nature!

But surely #olygay or #olyandry would be ore disharonious still!

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;arriage renders no one iune! That is to sayC

7nless husband and wife both avoid infection, both can catch aatory fevers!

0 0 0

The woan who has learned how to inister to a an>s creature coforts has learned

uch! And

4t has disconcerted any a young wife to discover how i#ortant a #art of her educationthis is 1ince

4t is certainly soeties hard to reconcile a suitor>s #oetic #rotestations with a s#ouse>s

#rosaic reDuisitions!

0 0 0

4n the gae of life a an ay venture any stakesC a woan>s fate is deterined by asingle throw of the dice! Thus,

How often it ha##ens that a young and ine#erienced aid will look about her, willweigh and consider, will #ick and choose, and, when she thinks she has found a an to

her #ur#ose, will set her ca# at hi will attract hi, enslave hi, bring hi to her feet,ake hi #ro#ose, acce#t hi as husband, give hi all the sweets of engageent, regard

herself and #roclai herself his affianced bride,all with ost #rudentialit ay be,

ost #raise$worthyotives! 2n a sudden, the an discovers that this was no realattachent, but a fictitious, alost an enforced, oneC that the ethods Fso he thinks were

artificial, the results delusive! ?hat ha##ens The an withdraws#olitelygallantly%

t>was a istakeC he is sorryC they are unsuitedC he did not know his own indC he is sorryC and so on, and so forth! They se#arate! And, in this concatenation of circustances,

action for breach of #roise is out of the Duestion!Besides, often enough, the girl,

through #ride or through sheer chagrin at the indifference of the an, #retendsacDuiescence!?hat ha##ens to the an 8othing! 4f his senses were stirred, he hiself is heart$whole! He gave nothingC he erely received! He #ro#oses again to soebody

elseC is acce#tedC arries ha##ilyC rears a faily! ?hat ha##ens to the girl Everything!

The an gave her nothingC she gave allher li#s, her looks, the recesses of her heartC the #reonitions of the gift of her selfC for, when she leant on hi, looked u# to hi, clung to

hi, felt his strong encircling ars, was #erturbed by his ardor, she gave that which was

not to give again! 1uch woan is to be #itied! 3or, however uch she ay strive to ake



it a##ear that she gave nothing, that she had all to give again, not even her own soul will

bear her witness, and sooner, or later, a subseDuent lover Fand such girl acce#ts the first

lover that offers will find a void where he ho#ed to find an inehaustible treasure! 3or the woan cannot forever kee# u# a fictitious affectionC and languid looks, and eyes that

will not brighten, and siles which are so evidently forced, bes#eak her sy#athies

elsewhere!But, as Heine said, this is an old story often re#eated! F- ?herefore

Let us #ity woen The dice they throw are their heartsand they have only one throw% when they have thrown away their heartsPity woen

;en have so any dice to throw% incoe, status, titleC virility, fortune, faeC good s#irits,

good connections, good looksC an air, a figure, a soul$stirring voiceC anners, breeding,forceC a good nae, a good bank account! The #ity o> it is that

The whole arriage Duestion revolves about a single #oint%

The an wants hi a woan,a woan who shall be his and only hisC

The woan wants her a head of a hoe! And here again, and once again, we see the

difference between the sees%

The one thing that the an wants is% a ateC

The one thing that a woan wants is% a head and #rovider of a household!

The an>s thoughts never go beyond the woanC

The woan>s thoughts always and at once travel far beyond the anto the children, thehousehold, the hoe! This is great 8ature>s ineorable law! But little knows the woan,

and less knows the an, that the nubile girl is erely obeying great 8ature>s ineorablelaw!

?hat #rice woan #ays for her high office for in this i#licit, unDuestioning, and

unconscious obedience to 8ature she #erfors #erha#s her highest function! 2n all

accounts, therefore, let us

Pity woen They obey so faithfully great 8ature>s law, and 8ature so often #lays the

falseso very false, and so very often! Besides,

The woan who gives her hand without her heart finds in tie that she has ade a sorry

bargaina sorrier bargain, #erha#s, that the woan who gives her heart with out her hand! 3or,

Passionately as a an desires a woan, the #assionately$desired woan will in tie

discover that, unless she gives her heart with her hand, her gift suffers de#reciation! And



7nless a woan gives her heart, how can she give her aid 1urely,

7nless a an>s aror is buckled on for the strife of life by feinine sy#athy, the fight is

a#t to be a sorry one at bestC since

A woan>s true business is to back her husband% if 1HE leaves hi in the lurch, there islittle ho#e for hi! 3or of a truth

The strongest an is handica##ed in the struggle for eistence unless he knows and feels

that his wife is at his sidenot #ushing hi so uch as leaning u#on hi!

F- Ein 5ungling leibt ein ;adchen,

'ie hat einen Andern erwahltC

'er Andre leibt eine Andre,

7nd hat sich it 'ieser verahlt!

'as ;adchen heirathet aus Arger 'en ersten, besten ;ann,

'er ihr in den ?eg gelaufenC 'er 5ungling ist ubel dran!

Es ist alte Geschichte,

'och bleibt sie ier neuC 7nd we sie just #assieret,

'e bricht das HerJ entJwei!

Buch der Lieder, <=!

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To siulate #assion for an hour is #ossibleC to siulate a life$long lovethat is hard! 3or

Love is a thing uniDue and unalterable Fin s#ite of its various alloysC cli# the coin, and it

will not #ass current! 3or

4deal atriony is founded on a ono$etallic basis% no aount of silver will be

acce#ted for gold! And yet,

How often ; loves and 8 acce#ts the love Poor ; Also Fin the long run, #oor 8

That, indeed, is a ha##y arriage where ; gives and wants just what 8 wants and gives%where ; and 8 just want each other! 3or

Give and take is the rule of a counity of two, as it is of a counity of ten thousandC

The ideal Fand #robably i#ossible industrial counity is that in which deand andsu##ly are in eact eDui#oise! The sae holds good in atriony!



4n wedlock, a virtuous, has #robably less force than a vicious, ea#le!

That is to say,

A frivolous s#ouse is ore a#t to drag the cou#le down than is a serious s#ouse a#t tolead the cou#le u#! And

;any a ate there is Fboth asculine and feinine feels like a #ack$ule treading a

#reci#itous #ass!

0 0 0

2f every Audrey her Touchstone should be able #roudly to say, A #oor! !! ! Thing, 1ir, but ine own! 4n other words,

The hoely violet deserves as tender cherishing as the rare eotic!

0 0 0

?hat #ortion of hiself or herself any one co#licated #hysical and #sychological

huan being really and truly >conveys> to another by eans of the si#le contract knownas the #lighted troth or that of a larger deed called the called the soleniJation of

atriony, is a riddle difficult of solutionC and as to how uch one ay clai on the

strength of one or other of these indentures, that is a ore difficult #roble still!

4n no aatorial contract, #robably, is it #ossible to include or to enuerate all thehereditaents, essuages, or a##urtenances, involved! 6ertainly

How great so ever the counity of interest, ; and 8 reain for ever ; and 8!

4s there not always soething in the eternal feinine which cannot Duite coalesce with

the e#heeral asculine Probably,

Trust your wife with your #urse, and seven ties out of ten it will grow heavy!

0 0 0

;any a woan, by an, is acce#ted at her face value!

;any a an, by woan, is taken on trust! 4t is difficult to tell whether

;ore bad debts are contracted by giving credit than by taking at face value! 3or

The #roissory note of arriage is undated and unendorsed! But

6hildren act as collateral security!



0 0 0

How often a girl, even an affianced girl, accustoed to a ulti#licity of adirers, forgets

the an of her ultiate choice she ust then and there set above all other claiants

4f the an the woan chooses for husband does not stand in her estiation absolutelyfirst and all other claiants nowhere there is bound sooner or later to be trouble! 3or

8o an will #lay second fiddle to any body or any thingC and

The real aatory is a onarchial, not a re#ublican, one! 4n all reals, there ust be a

ruler, whether elected or hereditary!

Always a divided sway results in schis, whether in the faily or in the state! Andalthough

2ften enough the wife #roves herself the ore effective 1overeign, the fors of onarchy ust be conceded to the an, even though the eecutive is left to the woan!

0 0 0

How often the only breast to which one can go on to rain out the heavy ist of tears isthe one inhibited

0 0 0

Two wills are not so easily blended into one as that the task ay be left to 6u#id! "et,

7nless 6u#id has a hand in blending two wills, it is bound to be a sorry business at best!

Always and in all wedlock there coes a tie when will conflicts with will!

4f both wills are infleible, one ust breakor both will fly a#art!But

Love and tact will relieve any a strain! Though soeties one discovers that

Huan eyes have a certain store of tears! 4t is not difficult to wee# the all away!

However,

4n the final ru#ture between an and wife, it is the children that turn the scales! But, 2 yeyoung husbands and wives, reeber that

"outh regards the whole world as its friendC age finds itself desolate in the idst of

friends! ?herefore,



2 youth, cleave unto the wife of thy bosoC since

A loving wife is worth a ultitude of friends!

1weet are friends, and fae is sweetC but sweeter far a wifely heart whereon to lay a

weary head! But

Each arried #air ust solve its own difficulties as best it can! 4f any advice were worth

the offering, it would be this%

2 ye Husbands, and 2 ye ?ives, if not for your own sakes then for your children>s, lead a

straight, clean, honorable lifeC any other sort of life leads to des#icability, to disalness,to disaster!?hich only eans, after all, that

4n the arriage relation, as in every relationthe social, the industrial, the coercial,

the #oliticalit is conduct, it is character, that counts, nothing elseC

Beauty?ealth6ultureGrace?it4ntellect1#rightliness :ivacityHuor

these are uch but they are si#ly naught, and less than naught, when just this si#le,single, yet insatiable thing called ;an wants to live aicably, affectionately, artially,

with that si#le, single, but inco#rehensible thing called ?oan!

6haracter6onductrule the world, the ;atrionial eDually with the

;unici#al!

0 0 0

@4:! 2n this Huan Heart

The heart is deceitful above all things and des#erately wickedC who can

know it

Holy ?rit

4t does not take uch to ake two hearts beat faster than one!

0 0 0

The heart can deceive itself when it cannot deceive another!?hich will be cold cofort

to soe lovers, though it ay console others!

0 0 0

To adit a sacred visitant into the inner recesses of the huan heart, those recesses ust

be neat indeed! &eeber, too, that you can



8ever e#ect an angel to act as a charwoanC the swee#ing ust be done by the owner!

Lastly,

7nless each heart is #eritted access to the other, their union is fictitious, #erha#s #erilous!E#lain these tro#es who can!

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8o an can tell to who a woan>s heart belongsC not even the an who calls the

woan his! And

Let no an iagine that when he has won hi a woan, he has won hi a woan>sheart! 1ince,

1oeties a woan will give her heart to one an and her troth to another! Besides,

;any a heart is hard to reades#ecially if it is a #ali#sest! 4ndeed, any are illegible totheir owners! 8evertheless, That the woan should not know her own heart Fas so often

ha##ens terrifies the woan as uch as it eas#erates the an! "et,

That ust be a curious love that causes the heart to hesitate! And yet,

;any a an has debated for onths whether to #ro#ose or notC and soeties a woan

will acce#t on a 3riday the an that she refused #oint$blank of a Tuesday! But #erha#s,

?here the heart hesitates, it is not so uch a case of love as a case of convenience! 3or,

An overwheling love leaves the heart of either doubt or debate! But alas,

The huan heart sees to be an anatoical engine of such intricate and delicateechanis that its workings are uncontrollable even by its owner!

4s a constant heart as hard a thing to anufacture in the world of life as is an iobile

thing in the world of atter And atter, so they say, is iobile only at absolute Jero

when bereft of even olecular otion% a thing i#ossible to #roduce, and which to #roduce would reDuire incalculable #ressure and alost incalculable cold!

F4s there no cheical forula for fiing the i#ression of the heart

?ho really held Burns his heart in thrall, 8elly 3itJ#atrick or ;ary

6a#bell or Ellison Begbie or ;argaret 6halers or 6harlotte Hailton or 5enny 6ruikshank or Anne Park or 5ean Arour or ;rs! ?hel#dale or ;rs!

Agnes ;cLehose and who the heart of Goethe,Gretchen or 9itty 1honko#f

or 3rederica Brion or 6harlotte Buff or Lily 1honeann or the 6ountessAugusta or 6harlotte van 1tein or Bettina Brentano or ;ariana von

?illeeror his wife, 6hristina :ul#ius



However, whether it is a #rovision of 8ature, or whether it is due to the #erversity of

;an, #robably the feinine heart is far ore constant than the asculine, and #erha#s

any one of Goethe>s or of Burns his inaoratas would have clung to hi had he beenfaithful to her! And yet,

?ould you have had 1helley stick to Harriet ?estbrooke and how shall one inter#ret hisfeelings for Aelia :iviani ?hat would have ha##ened if 9eats had lived and arried

3anny Brawneshe who flirted with soebody else while he was sick and did not evenknow that he was a #oet "et she was an ins#iration to 9eats, as ;ary Godwin Fand

Aelia :iviani were to 1helley F-! 2ught Byron to have said >8o> to 6laire or Lady

6aroline Lab or the 6ountess Guiccioli or any one of the any aids and atrons that besieged his heart 6ould anything have ke#t &osina ?heeler and Bulwer Lytton side by

side,&osina ?heeler to who, before arriage, Lytton could find write, 2h, y dear

&ose ?here shall 4 find words to e#ress y love for you and to who, after arriage, he wrote, ;ada, The ore 4 consider your conduct and your letter, the ore

unwarrantable they a##ear

God in heaven what a #itiful gae it all is And alas as George 1and says, All this, you

see, is a gae that we are #laying, but our heart and life are the stakes, and that has anas#ect which is not always #leasing! F)

F- 1ee the 'edication of The &evolt of 4sla Fand see the E#i#sychidion!

F) Letter to Alfred de ;usset!

0 0 0

;any a an>s heart has been treated as a football! "esC but any a woan>s heart has been treated as a shuttlecock!

0 0 0

Huan beings there areboth en and woenout of who, at a ere touch, virtue

sees to go% converse with the is stiulatingC contact enthralling! And yet,

Powerful as #hysical or as ental attraction ay be, #eranently to retain the attracted

object reDuires a #rofounder force! Perha#s, though,

Beauty and grace and brilliancy ay attractC it is only soething far ore dee#$seatedthat retains! 4n other words,

6har of body and ind ay a##eal to body and indC only the heart a##eals to the

heart! Those who know not this, and they are

;any, #erit the heart to leak through the sensesC with the result that, when deands are

ade u#on the heart, that cistern is found to have run dry! 1o,



To #hilanderers and to flirts, when a great and true love coes, they do not co#rehend

it, and they cannot a##reciate it! ?herefore,

?ould$be lover, kee# thy heart intact until it be reDuired of thee!

0 0 0

"ou need not iagine that, because you have once been #eritted to see soe way down

into a huan heart, that you will necessarily ever again be so #eritted!

0 0 0

Hard words break no bones! But they often break hearts!

0 0 0

'rink is too often the refuge of the asculine, and a rich husband the refuge of thefeinine, broken heart!

0 0 0

Etree youth thinks the world is a toysho#where anything ay be had for the askingC

old age regards it as a useuwhere nothing ay be touched!

0 0 0

8o heart, under re#eated te#erings, can reain forever keen! And

As a little body soeties has a very big #ainC so an aching heart wonders that it can

bear so uch! And

?hat takes #lace in the Duiet dee#s of a troubled heart, who shall know

0 0 0

The way to the heart is not through the head%

Between heart and heart, there are any channels! But three are in universal use% the

eyes, the li#s, and the finger$ti#s! 8ow the greatest of these is the eyes!

0 0 0

The asculine heart will never wholly understand the feinine, nor the feinine the

asculine! F2 the #ity o> it And yet, after all,

The huan heart is uch ore the sae, whether it beats under a cuirass or under a



corset!

Between the asculine heart and the feinine, #erfect frankness is #erha#s of

Duestionable i#ort! But why 4t is difficult to say! Perha#s because

The as#irations and desires of the huan heart are infinite and una##easable! To atte#tto forulate the is to frustrate the! 3or

4t is as i#ossible for any two huan hearts, as it is i#ossible for any two aterial

things, to occu#y the sae s#ace! Es#ecially when we reeber that

Between the asculine heart and the feinine is a great gulf fied! 8ay, rather

3ro youth to age, each huan heart sees unwittingly to build about itself a high andever higher$growing wall, i#enetrable, indela#idable, not to be scaled by the look or

s#eech or gesture! 8ever can heart coalesce with heart! And yet

The absolute and intiate coalescence of heart with heartis not this, after all, the

consuation that every lover seeks To atte#t that consuation by ere s#eech, itis this that is of Duestionable i#ort! 1ince

Between heart and heart, s#eech is the #altriest of channels!

?hat a thinyet what an invisible and i#enetrablefil se#arates those two worlds%

the one, that of the visible, audible, and tangible, the world of chatter and laughter, of convention, often of ake$believeC and the other, the world of dee# and voiceless

eotions, of the feelings which know not how to give theselves utterance, of affections

which crave so uch and are so i#otent to say or to seek what they crave 4t is like alayer of ice se#arating the hidden and soundless dee#s fro the aerial world of noise and

otion!?hat would not one heart give to break the icy crust and see and know what

was really #assing in another And how often we drown if we do break through

The isolation of the individual huan heart is co#lete! 4t is the ost #athetic #ast in theuniverse, and it is that against which the individual huan heart rebels ost!

There ust be soe #rofound and cosic #roble underlying this fact which no

#hiloso#hyand no religioncan solve! That it is #athetic sees to #rove it te#orary,

earthly, a atter of tie and s#aceC but, when will the individual huan heart coalesce

with the Heart of the 7niverse which, #erha#s, is the goal of all Life 3or

4t ay be that these little terrestrial huan individuals which we call en and woen are

after all only tiny and te#orary centers of conscious activity in an ocean of infinite

consciousnessC as atos are but tiny and te#orary centers of energy in an ocean of infinite ether! 6ould we see the su total of 1u#ree and 4nfinite 6onsciousness at a

glance, #erha#s individual en and woen would dissolve into a ighty unity, could see

and co#rehend the whole of the luiniferous ether! ?ell, #erha#s



Love is the only known eans by which the individual heart can ake any e#ansion

whatsoever beyond its own bounds! "et, alas 8othing sees to break down the barriers

of sense! The huan heart beats its ineffectual wings in vain against the walls of itsfleshly tabernacle! ?ill nothing unite the Boy and the Girl ?ill nothing bring the ;an

and the ?oan really together "et the Boy thinks that, were the Girl wholly his, he and

she would be ha##yC and the ;an thinks that, were the ?oan and he to share everythought and every eotion, he and she would want naught else! 4s the aalgaation

i#ossible 4s the coalescence of thought and feeling outside the bounds of huan

#ossibility ?hat, then, i#els ankind to crave it, to atte#t it, to sacrifice so uch for itThere is a cosic #uJJle here with which nor #hiloso#hy nor #sychology nor

religion has yet atte#ted to gra##le!

After all, #itiful as it ay be, laentable as it ay be, it is true, and it ust be said, that

this huan heart of ours goes through life hungry, very hungry and una##eased! 3or whatit hungers, what it has issed, whereto it looks for sustenance, it itself does not know!

Thus,

This feinine heart sighs without ceasing for because that other asculine heart u#on

which it staked all its all, and an all that eant so uch, #roved callous and indifferentC

That asculine heart ceases not to curse itself for resorting to such hasty and violentethods by which to obtain for itself an e#heeral and #assing #leasureC

This feinine heart eats out its life with reorse for because it gave itself so unthinkingly

when askedC though of a survey it thought that asking was a thing #ro#ted by i#ulsesas noble as they seeed divineC and

That asculine heart, when the tidal wave of heated #assion has subsided, wonders howit was led ca#tive by lures so dece#tive and untried!

; regrets, and regrets in vain, that he did not await a #urer and ore #eranent #assionC

and

8 chews for a life$tie the cud of #ersistent reorse for an hour>s #oignant #leasure!

Ach this huan heart knows nothing of itself nor anything of its fellow beating hearts! 4f

it follows its bent, it is crackedC if it holds itself in leash, it aches! 4f it calls reason to aid,

its soaring ho#es are dashed, its roance s#oiled, and it itself reduced to the level of a

achine that calculates! 4f it acts on i#ulse and, eeting a heart that beats, so it thinks,in unison, unites itself with it, often enough that other soon #al#itates to a different

rhyth, or itself cannot kee# tie, and all things go awry!

Poor aching, beating, huan heart 4t cannot reasonC it cannot count the cost! To it seesthat i#ulse, divine and ighty i#ulse, is the sole law of the earthC in tie it learns that

i#ulse, the ightiest, the divinest, though it ay be law in heaven, is soeties a

veritable neesis on earth% it gives freely, gladly, without co#unctionC it finds the gift



rewarded by conseDuences too #itiful for tears!

Alas, this huan heart 6an no one advise it 4s there no advice will hel# it ;ust it

always go wrong, and always suffer?ell, 4f one loves, one dare not reasonC if onereasons, it is difficult to love!

0 0 0

There sees to be soething cosic, soething transcending the bounds of the visible

and tangible universe, in the desires and cravings of this sae huan heartC this little

huan heart beating blindly beneath a waistcoat or a blouse! 4ts owner is little bigger thana beetle or an ant, and the habitat of that owner is a s#eck in s#aceC a #ygy in

co#arison with 1irius or Arcturus, and invisible fro the ultra$telesco#ic confines of

vision!

?hat it akes the desires and cravings of this huan heart ore i#ortant, ore

i#ortunate, to its owner than the easuring of the vastest s#ace ?hy is it that thelongings, the ho#es, the disa##ointents, the des#erate as#irations, and the #assionate

loves of little huan hearts should cause to their #ossessors such #re#otent cootions,such #oignant Duals &igel and Betelgeuse and Algol rush through s#ace, and about

the #robably circle nuerous #lanets inhabited by countless and curious beings, each

and all, #erha#s, #ossessing hearts as #erturbable as our own! And yet, if our own littleearthly 5ack cannot get our own little earthly 5ill, what cares 5ack what ha##ens to :ega

or 6a#ella or to the great nebula in 2rion 5ack wants 5illC and that want is to 5ack the

only thing in the sidereal heavens that atters!

The curious and #erha#s sei$coical but wholly$#athetic thing about the whole atter

is this% that though undoubtedly our little #lanet is #art of and has a #lace in this greatsidereal universe, and conseDuently all our 5acks and 5ills are related to all the 5acks and

5ills everywhere else, yet each little huan heart behaves as it were the only heart in thesu$total of created things% if it enjoys, it calls u#on all that is, to congratulate itC if it

suffers, it cries aloud to high heaven to avenge its wrongs% it co#orts itself as if it and it

alone were the only sensitive things in eistence!That is curious! That it wrongs ay

have been wrought by itselfC that is fate ay have been deterined in the reign of 6haosand 2ld 8ight, or ere even cosic nebulae were born, it does not drea% if 5ill is

indifferent or 5ack orose,either is enough to cause 5ack or 5ill to curse God and die! 4s

there soe archety#al and arcanal secret in this the etree, the su#ernal egois of thehuan heart

2f all of which, what is the oralHu#h 3rankly, 4 do not know what is the oral!

2nly this 4 see% that each little heart creates its own little universe% the bee>s, the that of its

hive and the fieldsC an>s, that of his earth and the stars! ?hat ay be above or beyondthe stars, an no ore knows than the bee knows what is beyond the fields! The heart

be it an>s or a bee>sis the centre of its self$ade s#here! 1oe day, #erha#s, an>s

s#here will etend as far beyond the stars as today it etends beyond the fields! Then who knows#erha#s unliited senses and an uncircucised intellect ay find



theselves coensurate with this high$as#iring heart, and an eanci#ated and ecstatic

5ack unite with a congenial 5ill!

That there is a 7niverse, is a##arentC that it is one and co#lete, we su##oseC that thereare in it 5acks and 5ills, is indubitableC that these 5acks and 5ills crave utual su##ort,

sy#athy, love, friendshi#, wifehood, sistershi#, co#anionshi#, brotherhood, is alsoindubitable! 4f therefore the whole schee of the 7niverse is not a farce, what does this

craving of Love for Lover ean And yet,

4t is Duite i#ossible to conceive of a 7niverse of Love, in which all the clais of Heart

and 1oul and 1enses shall be eternally and infinitely satisfied 8evertheless, on this little

earth, #erha#s

4ll betides the heart that leans overuch on another! 3or, alas 8ot even the entireiolation of one heart for another will satisfy that other!4ndeed, indeed,

4n this life, would one seek cofort and solace, one ust seek itin one>s own self, or inone>s God! 3or

2nly one of two things can cofort% To #ut the world under one>s feetC or, to kee# a Godover one>s head% only

He who is ca#tain of his soul, or he who coits his soul to God, can rise above fate!

There is a vacuu in every huan heart! And the huan heart abhors it as uch as

nature!

?hat will fill this cardiac void no ortal to this oent has found out! Art cries,Beauty, and tries to de#ict itC Philoso#hy cries, Truth, and strives to define itC &eligion

cries, Good, and does its best to ebody itC and nuberless lesser voices in the

wilderness cry, Power, or Gold, or ?ork,which is a narcotic, or Eciteent,

which is an intoicantC and a any$toned changeful siren with sweetly$saddening usiccries, Love! And one #ursues a #hanto, and another clas#s a shadow, and a third

cloaks his eyes with a trans#arent veil, or stee#s his senses in floods that will not drown!

8o, what the huan heart wants it does not know! And, what is ore,

Pathetic #roble aongst #robles #athetic, often it #uJJles this huan heart todistinguish between the things which it is right and #ro#er to seek wherewith to fill that

void, and the things which are wrong and i#ro#er! 3urtherore%

How a#t is the heart to seek in the illegitiate for the satisfaction which the legitiatefails to giveProbles ancient as Eden!

?hat does it want, this huan heart, what does it so earnestly desire, so strenuously

seek All about it and about are beauty, friendshi#, irth, and gladnessC the sea and the

earth and the skyC color and usic and songC and to each, if he wills it, wife, or husband,



and children and hoe!?anting iswhatAh

2ne lesson this huan heart has to learn, so easy to #ut into words, so difficult to carry

out by deedC is this%

To get, the huan heart ust give!

The heart eats out itselfC causes its own e#tinessC creates its own void!

The selfish and egoistical life breeds always the va#id and vacuous heart!

?ould you a##ease your own hunger 3eed the hungry hearts around you!

'o you crave fullness of joy Give joy to the joyless!

?ould you fill your own cavity, satisfy your craving, attain your desire, find what you

seek Givegivegive! The ore the better, for

The greater the donation, the greater the re#letion!

8ature gives, gives lavishly, wantonly, unDuestioningly!

Every ato of soil, every dro# of sa#, goes to #roduce flowers and fruit and seed% root

and branch and leaf are but carefully constructed eans by which to transute sunshine

and soil and flower and fruit and seed! 8o tree lives for itself!

1hall, then, this huan heart live for itselfC gather and store u# for its own delectation, for

its own good

There is no such thing as one>s own good%

Goodness is utual, is counalC is only guided by giving and receiving!

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