THE POWER OFTHE POWER OF

GRATITUDEGRATITUDE

If the only prayer you ever said was Thank You, that would be enough… If the only prayer you ever said was Thank You, that would be enough… Meister EckhartMeister Eckhart

William Hale, Ph.D., LICDC-CSWilliam Hale, Ph.D., LICDC-CSGlenbeigh HospitalGlenbeigh Hospital

Today We Will…Today We Will…

Learn how the phenomenon of gratitude has been Learn how the phenomenon of gratitude has been manifested throughout history in various social and manifested throughout history in various social and religious contextsreligious contexts

Explore how research on gratitude has shown its Explore how research on gratitude has shown its importance in human relations and self-improvementimportance in human relations and self-improvement

Learn techniques for incorporating gratitude practice Learn techniques for incorporating gratitude practice in addiction treatment to enhance outcomes for clients in addiction treatment to enhance outcomes for clients in recoveryin recovery

Reflection…Reflection…

Think of a time when you felt truly grateful for something.Think of a time when you felt truly grateful for something.

It can be for anything – to anybody – at any time in your life.It can be for anything – to anybody – at any time in your life.

Remember what you Remember what you feltfelt at that time. What emotions did at that time. What emotions did you experience?you experience?

Remember what you wanted to Remember what you wanted to do do in response to your in response to your gratitude – for that person or anyone else.gratitude – for that person or anyone else.

In ordinary life we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only In ordinary life we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich... Dietrich Bonhoefferwith gratitude that life becomes rich... Dietrich Bonhoeffer

What is Gratitude?What is Gratitude?

The recognition of the unearned increments of The recognition of the unearned increments of value in one’s life…value in one’s life…

Gratitude can be an Gratitude can be an emotionemotion that we experience after receiving that we experience after receiving something – a gift, help, anything.something – a gift, help, anything.

Gratitude is not a feeling of being indebted - when we owe Gratitude is not a feeling of being indebted - when we owe others, we can resent or avoid them. When we are grateful to others, we can resent or avoid them. When we are grateful to them, we want to be with them. them, we want to be with them.

The feeling of gratitude motivates us to turn it into The feeling of gratitude motivates us to turn it into actionaction. We . We are naturally inclined to pay it back or pay it forward.are naturally inclined to pay it back or pay it forward.

Gratitude as the Parent of All VirtuesGratitude as the Parent of All Virtues

Roman Philosopher/Statesman Roman Philosopher/Statesman CiceroCicero stated: stated:

Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.but the parent of all others.

People who are grateful for what has been given to them or done for People who are grateful for what has been given to them or done for them tend to be more inclined to behave in beneficent, pro-social ways them tend to be more inclined to behave in beneficent, pro-social ways toward the giver, and toward others. toward the giver, and toward others.

Expressions of true gratitude serve as Expressions of true gratitude serve as reinforcementreinforcement to those who have to those who have behaved in beneficent, pro-social ways toward others, thereby behaved in beneficent, pro-social ways toward others, thereby increasing the likelihood that they will act this way again. increasing the likelihood that they will act this way again.

Simply stated: It motivates both giver and receiver to continue to do Simply stated: It motivates both giver and receiver to continue to do good (moral) things.good (moral) things.

Gratitude in ReligionGratitude in Religion

In Hinduism: In Hinduism: Gratitude is highly valued and has two facets:Gratitude is highly valued and has two facets: One must be grateful for One must be grateful for everythingeverything that is received, as it is a gift from God, that is received, as it is a gift from God,

regardless of who gave it.regardless of who gave it. One must never One must never expectexpect gratitude from another for something that has been gratitude from another for something that has been

given (entitlement).given (entitlement).

In Buddhism, In Buddhism, Gratitude is associated more with direct kindness from others, than from life Gratitude is associated more with direct kindness from others, than from life

situations (although one should still feel appreciation for general life situations (although one should still feel appreciation for general life blessings/circumstances).blessings/circumstances).

The more one’s life is expanded, the more one can feel grateful to those who The more one’s life is expanded, the more one can feel grateful to those who have enabled (taught/supported) that expansion.have enabled (taught/supported) that expansion.

This gratitude to others (mentors, teachers, parents, etc.) for what has been This gratitude to others (mentors, teachers, parents, etc.) for what has been learned from them is felt and expressed any time one uses teachings.learned from them is felt and expressed any time one uses teachings.

It can also be extended to adversaries who have taught one to survive and It can also be extended to adversaries who have taught one to survive and grow in the midst of malevolence and challenge.grow in the midst of malevolence and challenge.

Gratitude in Religion Gratitude in Religion In Judaism:In Judaism:

Gratitude is seen as an essential component of worship and praise of God -Gratitude is seen as an essential component of worship and praise of God -and an essential part of living one’s everyday life. It cannot be separated and an essential part of living one’s everyday life. It cannot be separated from sacred or secular life, as it makes both what they are. from sacred or secular life, as it makes both what they are.

Pervasive in the Old Testament Psalms, which are seen as songs of praise, and Pervasive in the Old Testament Psalms, which are seen as songs of praise, and guidelines for how to conduct one’s life in communication with God. guidelines for how to conduct one’s life in communication with God.

In Islam:In Islam: Sufi use the word Sufi use the word Shukr (thankfulness)Shukr (thankfulness) to refer to using all God’s gifts to to refer to using all God’s gifts to

express gratitude by fulfilling the purpose of creation – beyond simple verbal express gratitude by fulfilling the purpose of creation – beyond simple verbal expression of thanksgiving. expression of thanksgiving.

Gratitude is said to be rewarded by Allah with more blessings. Gratitude is said to be rewarded by Allah with more blessings.

In Christianity:In Christianity: Gratitude is seen as the base upon which thoughts and actions are formed. Gratitude is seen as the base upon which thoughts and actions are formed. Thanksgiving to God is expressed in words, but also throughout the shaping Thanksgiving to God is expressed in words, but also throughout the shaping

of one’s life. Becoming ‘Christ-like’ (reflecting Jesus’ teachings through of one’s life. Becoming ‘Christ-like’ (reflecting Jesus’ teachings through one’s life) is the expression of God’s greatest gift (Jesus Christ)one’s life) is the expression of God’s greatest gift (Jesus Christ)

Gratitude and KarmaGratitude and Karma

Karma: The effects of the sum of one’s free-will actions (choices), Karma: The effects of the sum of one’s free-will actions (choices), either influenced by intervention from God (Hinduism) or simply either influenced by intervention from God (Hinduism) or simply through natural law of cause & effect (Buddhism).through natural law of cause & effect (Buddhism).

In Buddhism, Karma is seen as the In Buddhism, Karma is seen as the causecause side of the cause-effect side of the cause-effect cycle. Any action of one’ own volition creates ideas which can cycle. Any action of one’ own volition creates ideas which can then grow into results under the appropriate circumstances.then grow into results under the appropriate circumstances.

In Buddhist understanding, practicing (doing) gratitude can In Buddhist understanding, practicing (doing) gratitude can create new ways of thinking about one’s life (attitude), thereby create new ways of thinking about one’s life (attitude), thereby inviting not only more good to oneself, but also looking differently inviting not only more good to oneself, but also looking differently at what one has now. at what one has now.

Expressions of Gratitude Expressions of Gratitude in Ancient Cultural & Religious Contextsin Ancient Cultural & Religious Contexts

American American Thanksgiving Day Thanksgiving Day is patterned after ancient is patterned after ancient traditional rituals of honoring harvest/bounty…traditional rituals of honoring harvest/bounty…

Sukkot (Jewish) Harvest Festival (Festival of Ingathering)Sukkot (Jewish) Harvest Festival (Festival of Ingathering)

Chung Ch'ui (Ancient Chinese) Harvest Moon CelebrationChung Ch'ui (Ancient Chinese) Harvest Moon Celebration

Thesmophoria (Ancient Greek) Honoring DemeterThesmophoria (Ancient Greek) Honoring Demeter

Cerelia (Ancient Roman) honoring CeresCerelia (Ancient Roman) honoring Ceres

Lammas Day (Old English) Bread-MassLammas Day (Old English) Bread-Mass

St. Ignatius Loyola – The Saint of GratitudeSt. Ignatius Loyola – The Saint of Gratitude

Founder of the Jesuit SocietyFounder of the Jesuit Society

Jesuits noted for their ‘Spiritual Exercises’ of Jesuits noted for their ‘Spiritual Exercises’ of Practicing GratitudePracticing Gratitude Expressing love and compassion for othersExpressing love and compassion for others

Ignatius’ life was steeped in GratitudeIgnatius’ life was steeped in Gratitude

Although a contemplative, his spirituality was Although a contemplative, his spirituality was characterized by characterized by ActionAction, rather than mere contemplation, rather than mere contemplation

He was an Optimist – reframing negative as positive He was an Optimist – reframing negative as positive

The Three GracesThe Three Graces

Depictions of ancient Roman virgin goddesses, dancing in a circle , freely & serenely with Depictions of ancient Roman virgin goddesses, dancing in a circle , freely & serenely with clasped hands. clasped hands.

Representation of the social phenomena of giving, receiving and returning gifts. Each Representation of the social phenomena of giving, receiving and returning gifts. Each experience was considered to be a separate blessing, hence three separate representative entities.experience was considered to be a separate blessing, hence three separate representative entities.

Benefits pass from giver to receiver and back to giver again – freely, quickly and in a continuous Benefits pass from giver to receiver and back to giver again – freely, quickly and in a continuous flow.flow.

Virginity represents purity of the acts – no hidden agendas or motives.Virginity represents purity of the acts – no hidden agendas or motives. Youth represents the necessary freshness/timeliness of the response/flow.Youth represents the necessary freshness/timeliness of the response/flow. Loose & minimal clothing represents the unrestricted flow of the process.Loose & minimal clothing represents the unrestricted flow of the process. Interlocked fingers represent the unbroken circle of good will and giving/receiving.Interlocked fingers represent the unbroken circle of good will and giving/receiving.

The Two The Two GGss of Gratitude of Gratitude

Edward Arlington Robinson (American Poet): Edward Arlington Robinson (American Poet): There are two kinds of There are two kinds of GratefulGrateful

ggrateful - rateful - for what we for what we receivereceive / what has been / what has been given to usgiven to us

GGrateful - rateful - for what we for what we give (give (the fruits of what we the fruits of what we are capable of creating)are capable of creating)

The second is more about gratitude for what we are The second is more about gratitude for what we are able able to to do (do (capacitycapacity) than about what we have done.) than about what we have done.

Gratitude as a Gift in and of ItselfGratitude as a Gift in and of Itself

Acknowledgment of a benefit received is a gift returned Acknowledgment of a benefit received is a gift returned to the giver.to the giver. It rewards the other person emotionally for his/her generosity. It rewards the other person emotionally for his/her generosity. It strengthens the relationship between giver and receiver.It strengthens the relationship between giver and receiver.

Also, it is an additional gift to the Also, it is an additional gift to the receiver. receiver. Genuine gratitude expressed to others benefits Genuine gratitude expressed to others benefits usus by: by:

1)1) Fostering positive emotions toward the Fostering positive emotions toward the other person.other person.2)2) Fostering positive emotions about Fostering positive emotions about oneselfoneself, by simply offering , by simply offering

the benevolent response, and by acknowledging one’s own the benevolent response, and by acknowledging one’s own worthinessworthiness to receive a gift. to receive a gift.

Gratitude as ‘Gratitude as ‘Humbling Empowerment’Humbling Empowerment’(Oxymoron? Not necessarily)(Oxymoron? Not necessarily)

HumblingHumbling…… Expressing gratitude helps us fully receive what has been given Expressing gratitude helps us fully receive what has been given

(affirmation, as well as the gift itself).(affirmation, as well as the gift itself).

EmpoweringEmpowering…… Expressing gratitude helps us recognize what we Expressing gratitude helps us recognize what we CANCAN give back to the give back to the

giver – even if all that is at the moment is a giver – even if all that is at the moment is a thank you… thank you… or paying it or paying it forward - forward - doing something for others, helping us to recognize the gifts doing something for others, helping us to recognize the gifts we have and can share… we become engaged in an we have and can share… we become engaged in an interactive process. interactive process.

Sadly, this excludes those with a narcissistic sense of entitlement, which prevents them Sadly, this excludes those with a narcissistic sense of entitlement, which prevents them from participating in the joy of sharing gratitude…the best many of them can hope from participating in the joy of sharing gratitude…the best many of them can hope

for is a temporary baseline appeasement.for is a temporary baseline appeasement.

Entitlement and ExpectationsEntitlement and Expectations

We live in a culture of “Me-ism”, where narcissism is reinforced.We live in a culture of “Me-ism”, where narcissism is reinforced.

Especially manifested in personality of addicted people… not because Especially manifested in personality of addicted people… not because they are all narcissistic, but because they are seemingly desperate. they are all narcissistic, but because they are seemingly desperate. Many always felt ‘apart’ from the world, and never learned how to Many always felt ‘apart’ from the world, and never learned how to simply be ‘simply be ‘a parta part’ of it. ’ of it.

Learning to practice gratitude is crucial for those recovering from Learning to practice gratitude is crucial for those recovering from active addiction. .. To help them learn to engage with life.active addiction. .. To help them learn to engage with life.

Given the ephemeral nature of life and fragility of existence, we need Given the ephemeral nature of life and fragility of existence, we need to remember this and help others to understand it … to remember this and help others to understand it …

We are ‘entitled’ to Nothing: Our next breath is a gift. We are ‘entitled’ to Nothing: Our next breath is a gift. Learning to live in gratitude teaches us to reframe and appreciate life.Learning to live in gratitude teaches us to reframe and appreciate life.

Gratitude as a Personality Trait Gratitude as a Personality Trait To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble,

but to live gratitude is to touch heaven… but to live gratitude is to touch heaven… Johannes A. Gaertner Johannes A. Gaertner

People are naturally inclined to feel gratitude upon receipt People are naturally inclined to feel gratitude upon receipt of gifts or help which are seen as having value. (State) of gifts or help which are seen as having value. (State)

However, in many people, gratitude reflects a natural However, in many people, gratitude reflects a natural tendency to recognize and appreciate things which usually tendency to recognize and appreciate things which usually go unnoticed. (Trait) go unnoticed. (Trait)

This approach to gratitude is different from hope, trust or This approach to gratitude is different from hope, trust or optimism. It sets an optimism. It sets an attitudeattitude for seeing events in life – even for seeing events in life – even certain adversities – as gifts.certain adversities – as gifts.

Gratitude has one of the strongest links to mental health of Gratitude has one of the strongest links to mental health of any character trait.any character trait.

Components of Trait GratitudeComponents of Trait Gratitude

Gratitude toward others (for being, not doing)Gratitude toward others (for being, not doing)

Focus on what one has (instead of what one does not have)Focus on what one has (instead of what one does not have)

Feelings of Awe or WonderFeelings of Awe or Wonder

Behavioral expressions of gratitudeBehavioral expressions of gratitude

Living in the present momentLiving in the present moment

Recognition that life is transient and appreciating each dayRecognition that life is transient and appreciating each day

Positive social comparisons (seeing how life could be worse)Positive social comparisons (seeing how life could be worse)

Gratitude as a Gratitude as a Life OrientationLife OrientationThere are only two ways to live your life. One is though nothing is a miracle. There are only two ways to live your life. One is though nothing is a miracle.

The other is as though everything is a miracle… The other is as though everything is a miracle… Albert Einstein Albert Einstein

More than a particular trait – a way of approaching life in More than a particular trait – a way of approaching life in

general . One’s mindset is that life is a gift. general . One’s mindset is that life is a gift.

Gratitude is a very positive emotion. The practice of Gratitude is a very positive emotion. The practice of nurturing positive emotions becomes self-sustaining and nurturing positive emotions becomes self-sustaining and self-reinforcing. self-reinforcing.

The more we practice gratitude, the more we see the positive The more we practice gratitude, the more we see the positive results, and the more we areresults, and the more we are inclined inclined to keep practicing it.to keep practicing it.

Gratitude as Propagator ofGratitude as Propagator ofIncreasingly Positive EmotionsIncreasingly Positive Emotions

Broaden and Build Theory Broaden and Build Theory

Positive emotions (including gratitude) propagate Positive emotions (including gratitude) propagate positive attitudes, behaviors, and relationships, moral positive attitudes, behaviors, and relationships, moral reasoning, openness to others, and resilience.reasoning, openness to others, and resilience.

This, in turn, results in more positive emotions. This, in turn, results in more positive emotions.

Upward Spiraling: Positive begets positive.Upward Spiraling: Positive begets positive.

The grateful mind is constantly fixed upon the best – therefore it tends to become the best. The grateful mind is constantly fixed upon the best – therefore it tends to become the best. It takes the form or character of the best, and will receive the best… It takes the form or character of the best, and will receive the best… Wallace D. Wallace D.

WattlesWattles

Research on Gratitude and Well-BeingResearch on Gratitude and Well-Being

A large body of research suggests that people who are A large body of research suggests that people who are more grateful have greater levels of well-being. more grateful have greater levels of well-being.

Among emotions and personality traits influencing well-Among emotions and personality traits influencing well-being, gratitude was found to be particularly important – being, gratitude was found to be particularly important – perhaps uniquely so. perhaps uniquely so.

Positive correlations between gratitude practice and Positive correlations between gratitude practice and various manifestations of psychological well-being have various manifestations of psychological well-being have been noted in the research.been noted in the research.

Few studies exist which show the effects of gratitude on Few studies exist which show the effects of gratitude on ysicalph health. However, some studies suggest that it ysicalph health. However, some studies suggest that it reduces stress and improves quantity and quality of sleep. reduces stress and improves quantity and quality of sleep.

Effects of Gratitude on Psychological Well-BeingEffects of Gratitude on Psychological Well-Being

Gratitude is positively correlated with a sense of subjective well-Gratitude is positively correlated with a sense of subjective well-being – High Positive Affect, Low Negative Affect & High being – High Positive Affect, Low Negative Affect & High Satisfaction with LifeSatisfaction with Life

Teens who grow up in a home where gratitude is practiced are Teens who grow up in a home where gratitude is practiced are more likely to be happy, have life satisfaction, and less likely to more likely to be happy, have life satisfaction, and less likely to have behavioral problems (including substance abuse). have behavioral problems (including substance abuse).

Expression of gratitude in relationships is positively correlated Expression of gratitude in relationships is positively correlated with higher quality of interactions and emotions in the with higher quality of interactions and emotions in the relationship.relationship.

Effects of Gratitude on Psychological Well-BeingEffects of Gratitude on Psychological Well-Being

Gratitude is a strong predictor of Gratitude is a strong predictor of lower risk lower risk of:of:

Major depressionMajor depression

Alcohol/Other Drug Abuse or DependenceAlcohol/Other Drug Abuse or Dependence

Generalized Anxiety disorderGeneralized Anxiety disorder

PhobiasPhobias

Bulimia Bulimia

Gratitude is also strongly related to overall mood and Gratitude is also strongly related to overall mood and sense of satisfaction in life. The more we express gratitude, sense of satisfaction in life. The more we express gratitude, the happier we tend to be overall. the happier we tend to be overall.

Effects of Gratitude on Psychological Well-BeingEffects of Gratitude on Psychological Well-Being

Grateful people tend to have more positive coping strategies.Grateful people tend to have more positive coping strategies.

Grateful people tend to feel higher levels of control in their Grateful people tend to feel higher levels of control in their environment and their lives. environment and their lives.

Grateful people are less likely to deny or avoid problems, and Grateful people are less likely to deny or avoid problems, and more likely to deal with them directly and effectively.more likely to deal with them directly and effectively.

Grateful people tend to have more self-acceptance.Grateful people tend to have more self-acceptance.

They tend to see more purpose in their lives. They tend to see more purpose in their lives.

They tend to have less negative thoughts and more positive They tend to have less negative thoughts and more positive outlooks on life in general. outlooks on life in general.

Effects of Effects of Religiously-OrientedReligiously-Oriented Gratitude Gratitude on Psychological Well-Beingon Psychological Well-Being

Gratitude was more strongly predictive of lower Gratitude was more strongly predictive of lower levels of psychopathology than other variables of levels of psychopathology than other variables of religiosity.religiosity.

PTSD – Lower levels of gratitude, but gratitude PTSD – Lower levels of gratitude, but gratitude interventions improve their daily functioning interventions improve their daily functioning regardless of level of PTSD symptoms.regardless of level of PTSD symptoms.

Portals to Gratitude Portals to Gratitude BlessingsBlessings

Those situations, people or experiences which are considered Those situations, people or experiences which are considered good good in in our lives – for which we can give thanks.our lives – for which we can give thanks.

LearningsLearnings Often coming in the form of Often coming in the form of challenges (physical, existential, challenges (physical, existential,

intellectual, emotional) intellectual, emotional) from which we grow and change.from which we grow and change.

MerciesMercies Receiving acts of kindness and compassion when none may seem to Receiving acts of kindness and compassion when none may seem to

be warranted.be warranted.

Protections Protections Feelings of being safe – either bestowed by other persons or by Feelings of being safe – either bestowed by other persons or by

deities/other religious entities - can invoke gratitude. deities/other religious entities - can invoke gratitude.

Obstacles to GratitudeObstacles to Gratitude

Entitlement Entitlement Self-absorption / Belief we are ‘owed’ what we want in life.Self-absorption / Belief we are ‘owed’ what we want in life.

VictimhoodVictimhood Life view of having been wronged – and living accordingly, rather than Life view of having been wronged – and living accordingly, rather than

taking responsibility for personal change. taking responsibility for personal change.

Rugged IndividualismRugged Individualism Lacking an understanding of one’s place in community – refusal to accept Lacking an understanding of one’s place in community – refusal to accept

one’s one’s interdependenceinterdependence with others. with others.

MaterialismMaterialism When one’s focus in life is primarily on obtaining When one’s focus in life is primarily on obtaining thingsthings, the capacity for , the capacity for

gratitude is diminished. The void cannot be filled.gratitude is diminished. The void cannot be filled.

Taking Things for GrantedTaking Things for Granted Living on the assumption that situations will always be as they are. Living on the assumption that situations will always be as they are.

(Nothing can make one appreciate one’s health like a serious illness.) (Nothing can make one appreciate one’s health like a serious illness.)

Obstacles to GratitudeObstacles to Gratitude ManipulationManipulation

Someone whose relationships are built on manipulation cannot relate to free Someone whose relationships are built on manipulation cannot relate to free exchange of gifts – everything is a negotiation. The cannot feel grateful.exchange of gifts – everything is a negotiation. The cannot feel grateful.

SufferingSuffering Extreme suffering can block the possibility of gratitude (at the time it is Extreme suffering can block the possibility of gratitude (at the time it is

present). When suffering dissipates, gratitude can arise upon reflection. present). When suffering dissipates, gratitude can arise upon reflection.

AmnesiaAmnesia Allowing grateful memories to fade invites emptiness and self-pity, while Allowing grateful memories to fade invites emptiness and self-pity, while

reducing the likelihood that we will continue to practice gratitude. reducing the likelihood that we will continue to practice gratitude.

Lack of ReflectionLack of Reflection Overly busy and stressed, we can easily move gratitude meditation from our Overly busy and stressed, we can easily move gratitude meditation from our

priority list. (We forget to remember.)priority list. (We forget to remember.)

Negative MoodsNegative Moods Negative moods can become our focus and we can forget to shift attention to Negative moods can become our focus and we can forget to shift attention to

what is what is right right in our experience. in our experience.

If Gratitude is the Parent of all Virtues, If Gratitude is the Parent of all Virtues, as Cicero said, what about its as Cicero said, what about its OppositeOpposite? ?

St Ignatius Loyola, the Saint of Gratitude, St Ignatius Loyola, the Saint of Gratitude, had this to say about had this to say about IngratitudeIngratitude::

In the light of divine goodness, it seems to me that ingratitude is the most In the light of divine goodness, it seems to me that ingratitude is the most abominable of sins and that it should be detested in the sight of abominable of sins and that it should be detested in the sight of our Creator… our Creator…

It is a forgetting of the graces, benefits, and blessings received, It is a forgetting of the graces, benefits, and blessings received, and as such it is the cause, beginning and origin and as such it is the cause, beginning and origin

of all sins and misfortunes. of all sins and misfortunes.

That said, could That said, could IngratitudeIngratitude can be thought of as the can be thought of as the Parent of all “Character Defects” ?Parent of all “Character Defects” ?

To answer this, simply consider what Ingratitude fosters in our lives…To answer this, simply consider what Ingratitude fosters in our lives…

The The CAPACITYCAPACITY for Gratitude for Gratitude as an Existential Giftas an Existential Gift

We can reflect, list, and feel grateful for all the increments of We can reflect, list, and feel grateful for all the increments of unearned value in our lives. We can also reap the benefits of unearned value in our lives. We can also reap the benefits of

doing so…without truly looking at the prime source from which doing so…without truly looking at the prime source from which this phenomenon arises:this phenomenon arises:

Having the Having the Capacity Capacity to Be Grateful. to Be Grateful. Being able to feel and express gratitude is a gift itself.Being able to feel and express gratitude is a gift itself.

Capacity for gratitude is expanded with grateful practice – Capacity for gratitude is expanded with grateful practice – even where it seemingly did not exist before. even where it seemingly did not exist before.

(Doing gratitude increases capacity for gratitude.)(Doing gratitude increases capacity for gratitude.)

Some Things to Remember…Some Things to Remember…

Gratitude helps us attract what we want. When we are truly Gratitude helps us attract what we want. When we are truly grateful and expressing it, we are more likely to continue to receive grateful and expressing it, we are more likely to continue to receive positive things in life.positive things in life.

Gratitude improves relationships. Showing genuine appreciation Gratitude improves relationships. Showing genuine appreciation helps others to feel better about us, and helps us to feel better helps others to feel better about us, and helps us to feel better about them. about them.

Gratitude reduces negativity. Positive feelings Gratitude reduces negativity. Positive feelings replacereplace negative negative ones. Positive ones. Positive actionsactions ( (doing doing gratitude) can result in more positive gratitude) can result in more positive feelings. feelings.

Gratitude is a quality similar to electricity. It must be produced and discharged and used up in Gratitude is a quality similar to electricity. It must be produced and discharged and used up in order to exist at all… order to exist at all… William FaulknerWilliam Faulkner

Gratitude teaches us new ways of Gratitude teaches us new ways of Thinking & PerceivingThinking & Perceiving

Practicing gratitude can help us open our minds to the Practicing gratitude can help us open our minds to the possibilities possibilities of of any situation. It can allow us to explore new ways of responding to our any situation. It can allow us to explore new ways of responding to our situations and to others. situations and to others.

It can help us look for the positives in a seemingly negative situation. It can help us look for the positives in a seemingly negative situation. (Recovery from a traumatic experience is influenced by the ability to (Recovery from a traumatic experience is influenced by the ability to derive some long-term benefit from it.)derive some long-term benefit from it.)

Try this…Try this… Imagine a negative experience in your life (situation/person).Imagine a negative experience in your life (situation/person). Use your imagination to find one positive thing about it. Use your imagination to find one positive thing about it. How can dealing with that situation/person bring a lesson to your life? How can dealing with that situation/person bring a lesson to your life?

(Patience – Resilience - Acceptance)(Patience – Resilience - Acceptance) Imagine feeling grateful for that. Imagine feeling grateful for that. How could that change your perspective about the problem?How could that change your perspective about the problem?

The miracle of gratitude is that it shifts your perception to such an extent that it The miracle of gratitude is that it shifts your perception to such an extent that it changes the world that you see ... changes the world that you see ... Robert HoldenRobert Holden

Any Experience can be Reframed as a Gift Any Experience can be Reframed as a Gift If not now…then laterIf not now…then later

Here is the gift of Here is the gift of SadnessSadness. What can I learn from it? . What can I learn from it?

Here is the gift of Here is the gift of AngerAnger. What can I learn from it? . What can I learn from it?

Here is the gift of Here is the gift of FearFear. What can I learn from it? . What can I learn from it?

Here is the gift of Here is the gift of LossLoss. What can I learn from it? . What can I learn from it?

Here is the gift of Here is the gift of Craving.Craving. What can I learn from it? What can I learn from it?

What lessons can I take from my experiences – regardless of how painful What lessons can I take from my experiences – regardless of how painful they may be at the time – to enhance my recovery…and my life?they may be at the time – to enhance my recovery…and my life?

While you did not invite it into your life, it is here. How While you did not invite it into your life, it is here. How do you want to reframe it so that its lesson is a gift?do you want to reframe it so that its lesson is a gift?

Gratitude in ActionGratitude in ActionAs we express our gratitude we must never forget the highest appreciation As we express our gratitude we must never forget the highest appreciation

is not to utter words, but to live by them … is not to utter words, but to live by them … John F. KennedyJohn F. Kennedy

Remember: Gratitude is much more than a feeling…Remember: Gratitude is much more than a feeling…

It is a Choice (attitude).It is a Choice (attitude). It is an Action (response).It is an Action (response). It becomes a Habit (when practiced regularly).It becomes a Habit (when practiced regularly).

Consider all the things you can do to show your gratitude Consider all the things you can do to show your gratitude to others (even if you do not feel it yet). to others (even if you do not feel it yet).

Do something positive for someone who has done Do something positive for someone who has done something for you. something for you.

Pay it forward – Do something positive for someone else Pay it forward – Do something positive for someone else when the same has been done for you.when the same has been done for you.

Gratitude in Positive PsychologyGratitude in Positive PsychologyFeeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it… Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it…

William Arthur Ward William Arthur Ward

Gratitude is a principle component in practice of Positive Gratitude is a principle component in practice of Positive Psychology – considered a primary strength to be developed for Psychology – considered a primary strength to be developed for an emotionally healthier life.an emotionally healthier life.

DOingDOing gratitude – keeping a gratitude journal, writing gratitude gratitude – keeping a gratitude journal, writing gratitude letters, actively planning / implementing behavioral ‘thank-letters, actively planning / implementing behavioral ‘thank-yous’ helps us to reverse our focus from yous’ helps us to reverse our focus from Negative to Positive.Negative to Positive.

Gratitude actions help to refocus not only our energy Gratitude actions help to refocus not only our energy expenditure, but over time, our attitudes also.expenditure, but over time, our attitudes also.

Gratitude Visits Gratitude Visits in Positive Psychology Practicein Positive Psychology Practice

Write a letter of appreciation to someone who has had a positive Write a letter of appreciation to someone who has had a positive impact on your life. impact on your life.

Schedule a visit with that person, if possible.Schedule a visit with that person, if possible.

If not, plan a phone call when that person has time to talk.If not, plan a phone call when that person has time to talk.

Read the letter to that person, them give it to him/her.Read the letter to that person, them give it to him/her.

Of all Positive Psychology interventions, research has shown this Of all Positive Psychology interventions, research has shown this one to be the most effective in helping people feel better about one to be the most effective in helping people feel better about themselves and enhancing relationships with others. themselves and enhancing relationships with others.

A Grateful HeartA Grateful Heart HeartMath Institute: HeartMath Institute:

The heart has significant influence on brain/body function.The heart has significant influence on brain/body function. We can change the rhythm of our heart via shift of focus.We can change the rhythm of our heart via shift of focus.

““Heart Lock-In” Technique:Heart Lock-In” Technique: When upset about something, focus on your heartbeat When upset about something, focus on your heartbeat

(rhythm/rate).(rhythm/rate). Think about someone/something in your life for which you Think about someone/something in your life for which you

are truly grateful.are truly grateful. Notice changes occurring in heartbeat.Notice changes occurring in heartbeat.

Positive emotions compete with and can ‘undo’ negative emotions, Positive emotions compete with and can ‘undo’ negative emotions, and can change physiological responses when practiced regularly. and can change physiological responses when practiced regularly.

Gratitude as ReflectionGratitude as Reflection NaikanNaikan

Self Reflection exercise developed within Jodo Shinshu (Shin) Self Reflection exercise developed within Jodo Shinshu (Shin) Buddhism by a 20Buddhism by a 20thth century Buddhist businessman century Buddhist businessman

Process of deep inward reflection on one’s relationships with Process of deep inward reflection on one’s relationships with others.others.

Three questions are asked in meditation:Three questions are asked in meditation: What have I received from someone? What have I received from someone? ((ggratitude)ratitude) What have I given/done for someone ? What have I given/done for someone ? ((GGratitude)ratitude) How may I have caused this person to suffer?How may I have caused this person to suffer?

Practice is taught in Naikan Centers throughout Japan Practice is taught in Naikan Centers throughout Japan Used in counseling, addiction treatment, prisoner rehabilitation, and Used in counseling, addiction treatment, prisoner rehabilitation, and

school/business retreats.school/business retreats.

The Importance of Gratitude in RecoveryThe Importance of Gratitude in Recovery

Helps to keep the recovering person grounded in reality.Helps to keep the recovering person grounded in reality.

Helps the recovering person to see life from new perspectives.Helps the recovering person to see life from new perspectives.

Helps the recovering person to recognize potential positives Helps the recovering person to recognize potential positives in negative events which would have fostered self-pity before.in negative events which would have fostered self-pity before.

Enhances the recovering person’s mood and basic well-being.Enhances the recovering person’s mood and basic well-being.

Motivates the recovering person to give back or pay forward.Motivates the recovering person to give back or pay forward.

Gratitude is the intention to count your blessings every Gratitude is the intention to count your blessings every day, every minute, while avoiding, whenever day, every minute, while avoiding, whenever

possible, the belief that you need or deserve possible, the belief that you need or deserve different circumstances.different circumstances.

Timothy Timothy MillerMiller

When we actively and intentionally identify what we have in our When we actively and intentionally identify what we have in our lives, without focusing on what we do not have, our perceptions lives, without focusing on what we do not have, our perceptions

and our emotional states change. and our emotional states change.

Remember: When we change the way we look at things… Remember: When we change the way we look at things… the things we look at change.the things we look at change.

A Simple Gratitude ListA Simple Gratitude List(Change as Needed)(Change as Needed)

What part of my life brings me the most joy or appreciation?What part of my life brings me the most joy or appreciation?

What am I looking forward to today?What am I looking forward to today?

How can I be of maximum service today in some small way?How can I be of maximum service today in some small way?

How can I be the best person I can be today?How can I be the best person I can be today?

What do I appreciate most about my relationship with What do I appreciate most about my relationship with ? ?

What step can I take today in the direction of my own growth?What step can I take today in the direction of my own growth?

Who can I help today?Who can I help today?

What is one of my greatest character traits?What is one of my greatest character traits?

How can I allow that character trait to benefit others?How can I allow that character trait to benefit others?

What will doing this exercise do to support my own recovery? What will doing this exercise do to support my own recovery?

How to Use the Gratitude ListHow to Use the Gratitude List Answer the preceding questions.Answer the preceding questions.

Now, reflect on your answers, and allow yourself to feel Now, reflect on your answers, and allow yourself to feel good about these things.good about these things.

If any answers involve others in your life, thank those on the If any answers involve others in your life, thank those on the list you can today. Thank the others as soon as you can.list you can today. Thank the others as soon as you can.

Do this every day for 2 weeks.Do this every day for 2 weeks.

See how your perspective on your life can change. See how your perspective on your life can change.

See how your mood and sense of well-being can improve, See how your mood and sense of well-being can improve, and how your actions toward self and others change. and how your actions toward self and others change.

Making Gratitude a Conscious PracticeMaking Gratitude a Conscious Practice

In order to make gratitude a central part of our lives, we In order to make gratitude a central part of our lives, we must make it a conscious activity in which we engage on a must make it a conscious activity in which we engage on a regular basis. It will not become habit on its own. regular basis. It will not become habit on its own.

The ease with which we slip into old stress routines parallels The ease with which we slip into old stress routines parallels the ease with which we let any gratitude practice slip away. the ease with which we let any gratitude practice slip away. Coping with the daily fires that need to be extinguished Coping with the daily fires that need to be extinguished becomes the priority. becomes the priority.

In order to make any new practice real, meaningful and In order to make any new practice real, meaningful and consistent, it needs to be scheduled into our day – just as consistent, it needs to be scheduled into our day – just as meditation practice. meditation practice.