8/3/2019 The "Phenomenology" of Dissolution / Disillusionment - Fiasco Press: Journal of Swarm Scholarship

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Fiasco Press www.fiascopress.org Journal of Swarm Scholarship

The Phenomenology of Dissolution / Disillusionment

Shafni Awam

Affectation is a/effective.

Rivers run amuck,perpetually crumbling

levees separating

reality and illusion.

Hyper aware.

(Consciousness),

its derivative i

observe(s)

(its)/my-self transition into sleep.

Levees crumbling,

seams undone

thru interweaving.

Echoing in from uncanny distance,perceptions seem more intense,

hyperreali suppose.

Estranged.

Starring at mirror

looking into eyes,

seemingly foreign eyes,

(i) touch (my) body

(i) felt (my)self feeling,

this is (my) body.

For a moment it seemed like i

embodied the negative space:

connecting reflection

with source.

Seamlessi guess.

When becoming unconscious,

the loci of Imagination

seem to be independent

of ordinary conscious input,

transforming into aTemporary Autonomous Zone

Of sorts.

A visceral shuffle

between imaginary

and imaginal realms.

Eyes fluttering, flapping in-between light andhallucinations making up for its absence.

When becoming unconscious,

becoming = whizzing thru swirling

tunnels of sensations,

fracturing, colliding,

multiplying, dividing

imbricating

8/3/2019 The "Phenomenology" of Dissolution / Disillusionment - Fiasco Press: Journal of Swarm Scholarship

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Fiasco Press www.fiascopress.org Journal of Swarm Scholarship

seamlessly.

A hybrid of (sexual reproduction) X (binary fission),

birthing a synesthetic orgy of mutating sensations.

Events: (past) - (future), cant delineate.

It is not that iam losing consciousness,

forced to wormhole into a dream state rather,

a theater of shattered sensations, enmeshing,

highly absurd and intensely meaningful.

Elephants succumbing to an icy corridor,

the army,

a blur of skin, hide, fur,

steel, wicker and body odor.

Pelted into clay stoned hushness

by a swarm of sparrows.

Fodder, half chewed, moaning,

adenium icicles, splattering,

splintering into the dusty earth.

Honeying

light

dissipating,rock cold air, unsettling the gloom.

i feel cold, sweaty,

eyes squinty, palms clammy,

mouth dry, heart racing,

for a moment,

the world receded into alien alterity,

what, where, who swiveled about is disorienting amness?

Yes all this seems strangely familiar"

"(i) feel like (my) ordinary self again,

(whatever that means)

Thou art that.That is what eludesme,

Art discloses that perhaps,

Maybe not, who knows?

Not me.

"Nothing in the real world is as beautiful as the illusions

of a person about to lose consciousness."Haruki Murakami