The Good Speller is Good at Spelling

7/23/2019 The Good Speller is Good at Spelling

1/21

The Good Speller is Good at Spelling

By: Samantha Brown

HANNAH WARREN, our seventeen year-old heroine, stands on a podium downstage

center. In a semi circle around her, THREE !"#E$ sit with %lashcards.

HANNAH

Im a good speller. Thats about it.

J!G" #

The word is gladiolus.

HANNAH

G$%$A$!$I$&$%$$S. Gladiolus.

HANNAH

I'e won e'ery grade$wide spelling bee sin(e )indergarten. I beat my

elementary s(hool bee at the mere age o* eight years old.

J!" +

The word is as(eti(ism.

HANNAH

A$S$,$"$T$I$,$I$S$-. As(eti(ism.

HANNAH

In high s(hool I'e made it to regionals twi(e and made it to state round

on(e but messed up on a word o* German origin.

J!G"

The word is interlo(utory.

HANNAH

I$N$T$"$/$%$&$,$$T$&$/$0. Interlo(utory.

I will go to an I'y$%eague S(hool i* it )ills me.

&verlapping, 'ut not in unison.

J!G" #

The word is (hlorophyll.

J!" +

The word is sy(ophant.

J!G"

The word is es1uamulose.

J!G" #The word is ,hihuahua.

J!G" +

The word is smaragdine.

J!G"

The word is eudemoni(.

1


2/21

HANNAH

$truggling to (eep up, in 'etween )udges

,$H$%$&$/$&$2$H$0$%$%3 S$0$,$&$2$H$A$N$T3 "$S$4$A$-$$%$&$S$"3 ,$H$I$H$$A$H$

$A3 S$-$A$/$A$G$!$I$N$"3 "$$!$"$-$&$N$I$,

The )udges spea( as i% they were normal )udges at the 'ee

J!G" #

Spell !artmouth

HANNAH

!$A$/$T$-$&$$T$H

J!G" +

2rin(eton

HANNAH

2$/$I$N$,$"$T$&$N

J!G" ,olumbia

HANNAH

,$&$%$$-$B$I$A.

AN"* enters %rom the downstage corner, 'ut strolling in, as i% he had 'een

pacing 'ac( and %orth right ne+t to her the entire time. Hes got a note'oo(

%ull o% spelling words in one hand, and a pencil 'ehind his year.

AN!0

Har'ard5 6beat7 this is her ni()name8 Hey3 Har'ard3 you spelled sauerbraten

wrong.

HANNAH

6snapping out her nightmare8 9hat5

AN!0

There is a u; a*ter the *irst a;.

HANNAH

It smells li)e bud in here.

AN!0

/ela


3/21

HANNAH

That word is German. I always mess up German words.

AN!0

0ou messed up one German word. Its no big deal.

HANNAH

Its related to other German words3 whi(h I always mess up. A word o* German

origin is going to be my demise. I )now it.

AN!0

0ou need to (alm down.

AN"* pantomimes a long lecture he is giving her a'out he she needs to rela+.

HANNAH %reees.

J!G" #

0$A$%$"

J!G" +

B$/$&$9$N

J!G"

$2$"$N$N

AN!0

0oure a genius. 0ou'e got the best grades o* anyone I )now and you 'olunteer

*or things I dont (are about and youre SAT s(ore is>

HANNAH

Thats not enough. Spelling is all I ha'e.

AN!0

,learly3 its not. Any s(hool will be lu()y to ha'e you.

HANNAH

There are )ids li)e me e'erywhere e


4/21

HANNAH

Im sorry. -y therapist told me to re(ogni?e when Im wrong. Andy3 I am

re(ogni?ing how wrong I am. 9hen I am stressed3 I get angry3 and I sadly lay

it on you. Than) you *or being so )ind and so patient. Howe'er you should )now

without goals you ha'e nothing3 there*ore I am (orre(t *or admonishing you *or

your la() o* (hara(ter.

AN!0

6beat8

Isnt it more important to be a )ind3 sel*$aware3 (ompassionate3 well$rounded

indi'idual5

HANNAH

6beat8 I wanna win Nationals. I need to get through State.

AN!0

0ou beat regionals. Thats pretty legit.

HANNAH

Not enough.

AN!0

Is it *i'e yet5

HANNAH

Ten a*ter.

AN!0

I ha'e to run out. Ill te


5/21

AN!0

/oger is not my (on(ern. I li)e someone.

HANNAH

9hats his name5

AN!0

"lena.

HANNAH

Is he =ren(h or something5

AN!0

She is Gree).

HANNAH

She.

AN!0

9e saw a mo'ie on Saturday. It was ni(e.

HANNAH

She5

AN!0

I thin) it might get serious.

HANNAH

She.

AN!0

0es3 Hannah3 she.

HANNAH

Are you going to tell /oger5 Hes gonna *rea) out>

AN!0

I dont (are$ Im not (on(erning mysel* with /ogers well$being.

HANNAH

So youre straight again5

AN!0

Its not li)e that.

HANNAH

I was literally @ust getting used to you being gay

AN!0

Im 'ery sorry my se

HANNAH

So when you bro)e up with me it wasnt girls you didnt li)e. It was @ust me.

AN!0

Thats not true.

5


6/21

HANNAH

!ont euphemi?e the situation>

AN!0

"uphemi?e5

HANNAH

"uphemi?e. "$$2$H$"$-$I$$". "uphemi?e.

AN!0

Ne


7/21

HANNAH

I dont ha'e time *or your gay$boy games. I need to win a (ompetition.

6intense s(owl8 As) me how to spell sauerbraten.

AN!0

How do you spell sauerbraten5

HANNAH

S$A$"$/$B$/$A$T$"$N

AN!0

0ou *orgot the u; again.

HANNAH

I thin) you should lea'e %iterally3 get out

AN!0

!ont be mad at me.

HANNAH

Im not. 0our *rea)y li*e (hoi(es are your problem.

AN!0

&)ay. 0ou )eep studying. I will (all you when you get less nuts. 9hi(h will

probably be ne'er.

HANNAH

=ine. Ne'er (all me again. I thin) youll *ind you need me a lot more than I

need you.

AN"* leaves.

HANNAH

Ta(es out her phone, dials, hold it up to her ear.

Hey its me. Im really sorry. ,all me ba(). Bye.

lac( out.

In lac( out, we hear a voicemail 'eep.

Hey Im (alling again. Hope youre o)ay. 0ou )now3 @ust (all me ba()

whene'er.

eep

Andy. Im getting really tired o* phone$(hasing you. ,all me.

eep

,an you at least answer my e$mail5

eep

-y te


8/21

I sent you a *ruit bas)et3 you *ruit3 now *orgi'e me

eep

&)ay3 the *ruit thing was way out o* line. Im sorry.

eep

!ont be su(h a girl3 Andy3 (all me

eep

Hey3 @ust (alling ba() to (lari*y the girl thing was not supposed to be a

homose

AN!0

Hannah3 its literally been two hours.

HANNAH

I really messed up and Im really sorry.

AN"* puts her on spea(er and starts scrolling through his phone, only hal%-

listening

I should be happy *or you. But its so hard. Sometimes3 I thin) I still ha'e

*eelings *or you3 whi(h is really hard. And distra(ting *or my spelling

(areer. And I loo)ed "lena up on =a(eboo). She has better hips than me. I )now

you dont li)e me3 and I guess Ill learn to deal with that3 but its so hard

when the only boy at s(hool who li)es me is the weird one with dandru** andthe stutter. I )now I need to rela

AN!0

I @ust got an email about a *ruit bas)et.

HANNAH

That was supposed to go to my email. !amn it.

8


9/21

AN!0

Hannah3 I thin) we need some time apart.

HANNAH

0oure brea)ing up with me again5

AN!0

No3 be(ause were not dating anymore. 9e are @ust *riends. I (ant be

responsible *or you anymore. 0ou need to rela


10/21

AN!0

Hannah was the (ra?iest girl I e'er dated. She was (lingy3 she was demanding3

and she was always as)ing me to help her study. 9hen a *i*teen year old boy

gets as)ed to go to his girl*riends house to study; hes e


11/21

HANNAH

Be so proud o* who you are.

AN!0

And that she would:

HANNAH

Be so honored to be *riends again.

AN!0

So I said

HANNAH

6totally swit(hing gears8 Another super dramatic lighting change

9hat the hell3 Andy5 6beat8

"lena5 S(rew you7 were ne'er gonna be *riends e'er.

HANNAH e+its and slams the door.

"%"NA

$o%ter lighting. ac( to original scene!o you wanna see a mo'ie5

AN!0

I reali?ed "lena was new and didnt )now who /oger was. And I reali?ed he

would probably *rea) out. And I reali?ed my mom was really into supporting me

and would probably be (on*used. And I reali?ed my baseball team had put gay

pride buttons on their bat bags be(ause theyre good people. But3 there was

@ust something about this girl that made me li)e her3 the same way there was

something about /oger and e'en something about Hannah. The world is getting

way more progressi'e but not any less (on*using.

6to "lena8 I do want to see a mo'ie with you.

E1ER* character in the play, and may'e some A"$, pop out their heads %rom

various corners 'ac(stage.!oors may swing open.

9hat do you mean youre straight again5

Heads retract and the doors slam.

AN!0

-aybe the world isnt as progressi'e as I hoped. He e+its

HANNAH

!ear3 Andy.

I tried not te


12/21

I thin) you should bring "lena3 be(ause I should support you in your straight

endea'ors as mu(h as your gay ones. Ill buy (o**ee a*ter with my winning

money. I* I lose3 Ill buy (o**ee with my babysitting money.

6beat8

&)ay. Bye.

As she turns to wal( 'ac( upstage, a group o% three girls, 2E//*, /A!RIE, AN"

3HE*ENNE enter, including the three )udges %rom the 'ee who stand removed.

This scene should simulate three girls in a loc(er room gossiping. E/ENA

enters, and she stands removed %rom the girls on the other side o% the

simulated 4loc(er room5.

"%%0

!id you hear5 Andys got a woody *or "lena I* I was Hannah 9arren I would be

so pissed.

HANNAH, upon hearing her name, hides %rom the girls.

,H"0"NN"

I* I )new he was straight again I would'e hit that way be*ore "lena Sta'ros.

"%%0

-aybe hes into e


13/21

0our so(ialist boy$toy has a new beard. How does that ma)e you *eel5

The lights 'lac( out e+cept %or one spotlight on Hannah.

HANNAH

The s(ary thing was that I didnt *eel anything. I *elt too bothered to be

dealt with their nonsense. Besides3 when she approa(hed me I was going o'er

the spelling o* sa(rilegious in my head.

The lights completely 'lac( out.

"%%0

&h my God3 did she @ust *aint5

"%"NA

Get a tea(her3 now

"%%0

9ho are you5

%A/I"Ha'e you been listening to us the entire time5

,H"0"NN"

&h my God3 are you "lena5 0our hips got a lot smaller sin(e +#.

"%%0

9hat its li)e dating Andy5

%A/I"

Is it weird dating someone who used to date guys5

,H"0"NN"

&ne guy>

%A/I"

Still (ounts

"%"NA

Guys A tea(her

"%%0

Ill go.

2E//* e+its. $till in dar(ness, a spotlight hits Hannah.

HANNAH

That *aint was the best sleep I had gotten in si< wee)s. I mil)ed lying down alittle longer than I should'e.

/ights come up

%A/I"

Shes been laying there *or a hal* hour.

,H"0"NN"

9heres elly with the tea(her5

13


14/21

"%"NA

Ill go *ind her.

%A/I"

!ont do that

E/ENA and 3HE*ENNE loo( at /A!RIE

%A/I"

Shes a big girl. She (an handle it.

Total 'lac(out. /ights come 'ac( up.

AN"* enters incredi'ly pertur'ed with Elena %ollowing him. 2E//* also enters

on the other side o% the stage as i% she is a part o% another world. $he

should 'e standing or sitting on HANNAHs 'o+.

AN!0

This is so mu(h li)e her. She is su(h a drama 1ueen3 passing out be(ause o* a

stupid spelling bee.

"%"NA

Andy3 I dont )now i* this is be(ause o* the bee.

AN!0

9hat do you mean5

"%"NA

I was in the lo()er room right be*ore she *ell>

"%%0

She was muttering letters when she *ell. And when she was on the *loor.

"%"NA

The girls in there said some rally (rappy stu** about you and me and Hannah.

"%%0

I thin) shes really stressed *rom the bee. I thin) the s(hool board should

relie'e her o* duties to parti(ipate in state and her runner$up *rom the

s(hool should parti(ipate.

"%"NA

They didnt say that mu(h about you. They (alled you a so(ialist.

Andy

=air enough. And Hannah5

"%"NAThey (alled her really mean things. She heard it all. ,ut her some sla().

"%%0

I mean3 I dont want to 'olunteer mysel* to go in her pla(e3 but I will i*

shes too si().

6beat8

&h3 no its really my pleasure.

14


15/21

The lights 'lac( out. HANNAH screams and the lights go 'ac( up on a 'are

stage and HANNAH running onstage.

HANNAH

No3 no3 no3 no3 no She is not ta)ing my pla(e in state It was one *aint3 Im

*ine.

AN!0

Running in a%ter her with E/ENA

-aybe its a good thing. 0ou need to rela


16/21

HANNAHS !A!

"ither do the bee and stop passing out3 or no bee3 at all.

HANNAH

Im gonna do the bee.

AN!0

9hat5

HANNAH

Im gonna do the bee3 and e'erything will be *ine.

Every character in the play enters and gathers in a semi circle. $omething

should signal to the audience that this is a dream. 3haracters can have pitch

%or(s and devil-horns. 2E//*$ parents ma(e their entrance, and AN"*s

parents ma(e their %irst appearance. 2E//* enters with a 'o+ in her hands,

'ut HANNAH ta(es it and puts it down.

HANNAH

6uic(ly, prepping hersel%

S$A$$"$/$B$/$A$T$"$N3 S$A$$"$/$B$/$A$T$"$N3 S$A$$"$/$B$/$A$T$"$N3 S$A$$"$/$B$/$A$T$"$N

"%%0

I* you (ho)e3 Im ta)ing your pla(e.

AN!0

Go3 Hannah

"%"NA

0ou got this3 girl

-&-

2lease dont *aint

J!G" #

The word is s(happe.

HANNAH

S$,$H$A$2$2$" S(happe.

J!G" #

That is (orre(t.

3heers %rom the audience

"%%0S -&-

6to elly8!o you )now how embarrassing it is *or me that the 9arren girl is getting into

,ornell and not you be(ause o* letters in the alphabet5 I am a lega(y. I swear

i* you end up at ,hi(ago or some other bum s(hool you (an pay your own

tuition.

"%%0

-om3 @ust wat(h the bee.

"%%0S !A!

16


17/21

That should be my little girl

AN!0

!ont listen to him3 Hannah

AN!0S -&-

&h3 Hannah. Im @ust so sorry about Andy. Although I lo'e and support him 'ery

mu(h3 I3 too3 am sad my son is no longer gay.

AN!0S !A!

0ou (an be whate'er you want son.

AN!0S -&-

But it was so *un3 shopping together

AN!0S !A!

"lena is prettier than Hannah3 anyway. Hear that3 Hannah5 She has a better

butt3 too

AN!0S -&-

Ill miss brun(hes with my son.

AN!0

I (an still ha'e brun(h3 mom.

AN!0S -&-

9hat will I do with my pride pin5

AN!0

0ou (an still lea'e it on your>

AN!0S -&-

-y bumper sti()er5

AN!0

It (an stay.

JG!" +

Spell hydrophyte.

HANNAH

H$0$!$/$2$H$0$T$". Hydrophyte.

"%%0S -&-

I (alled my sorority sister. Shes an admissions o**i(er at ,ornell. Hannah

wont be allowed anywhere near that pla(e. !addys *riend wor)s admissions at

0ale. Hell be o'er *or lun(h tomorrow at one p.m. so wear that blouse I

bought you where your breasts loo) ni(e3 but theres no (lea'age>

HANNAHS -&-

Hannah3 I'ys arent e'erything. 0our dad and I ne'er got to (ollege. 9ell be

'ery happy to see you at least graduate somewhere.

J!G"

The word is antedilu'ian.

HANNAH

17


18/21

A$N$T$"$!$I$%$$C$I$A$N. Antedilu'ian.

HANNAHS !A!

9ed be happy to see you at ,ommunity ,ollege.

J!G" #

Heres one. ,an you spell3 shame5

HANNAH

9hat5

J!G" +

"mbarrassment5

J!G"

Better get used to this now3 be(ause this how youre going to *eel in

(ommunity (ollege. ,an you e'en spell (ommunity (ollege5

HANNAH %reees. The lights go out e+cept %or a spotlight on her.

AN!0Hannah3 snap out o* it.

"%"NA

Is she o)ay5

AN!0

This is the se(ond time shes *ainted.

"%"NA

I wouldnt tell anyone.

AN!0

Her health is at ris).

"%"NA

And well ta)e (are o* her a*ter the bee. I )now this stupid (ompetition isnt

e'erything3 but this is literally all she has.

The lights 'lac( out.

When they come 'ac( HANNAH is alone on her 'o+.There is a 'ig sign 'ehind her

that says RE#I&NA/ $0E//IN# E.E The only other person onstage is !"#E 7

J!G" #

The word is sauerbraten.

HANNAH9hat5

J!G" #

Sauerbraten

HANNAH

0ou'e got to be )idding me.

J!G" #

18


19/21

2lease spell the word3 -iss 9arren.

HANNAH

!one.

J!G" #

9hat5

HANNAH

!$&$N$". !one.

J!G" #

That is in(orre(t.

HANNAH

I dont (are.

J!G" #

-iss 9arren>

HANNAH

=or on(e3 I dont (are. Its o'er. Im done.

HANNAH #ets o%% her 'o+, !"#E 7 leaves and AN"* intercepts HANNAHs e+it.

AN!0

Hannah3 what are you doing5

HANNAH

Im done3 Andy. Im gonna3 ta)e up pottery or something.

AN!0

9hat5

HANNAH

I hate spelling. I dont wanna do it anymore.

"%"NA

enters

Hannah3 what happened out there5

HANNAH

9ill you ha'e a slumber party with me5 6beat8

I'e ne'er had one be*ore.

"%"NA

&)ay5

HANNAH

=riday at se'en. That gi'es me two hours to prepare *or your arri'al a*ter my

SAT tutor lea'es.

AN!0

9hat about Har'ard5

HANNAH

19


20/21

!o we paint our nails5

AN!0

I thin) you'e *inally lost it.

HANNAH

I (an prepare babaganoush as a healthy3 yet dele(table sna().

AN!0

9ould you answer me5

HANNAH

S(rew Har'ard 0ou )now3 it wasnt e'en the s(hools themsel'es I was

in*atuated with. It was the idea o* me going somewhere so prestigious. -aybe I

should a(tually tour the (ampuses. I hate spelling. I dont want to do all o*

this anymore3 so Im not gonna. 6beat8

Im going to tell my mom about our sleepo'er.

They start to wal(. HANNAH stops

I hope this personal growth will ma)e a really good topi( *or my ,ommonAppli(ation "ssay. I was honestly 'ery worried I didnt ha'e a story

*as(inating enough3 but this is it.

HANNAH e


21/21

&)ay I totally applied and didnt get in. Just dont tell anyone. Im 'ery

happy where Im going. 0ou dont need to )now where3 though. I dont want to

brag.

The play actually ends.

,HA/A,T"/S

HANNAH

AN!0

"%"NA

J!G" #

JG!" +

J!G"

"%%0

%A/I"

,"0"NN""%%0S -&-

HANNAHS -&-

AN!0S -&-

"%%0S !A!

HANNAHS !A!

AN!0S !A!

The Good Speller is Good at Spelling

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Transcript of The Good Speller is Good at Spelling