Task 4: Editing

Original Version• 1) What made you decide to become vegan?• Hard question, it started when I realised that cows don't just produce milk all the time for the fun of it, cows only produce milk for their baby cows, and baby cows have four stomachs to digest said

milk, it's not really meant for humans. Who even first decide to drink cow boob extract anyway? Cheese is just mouldy cow boob extract, and eggs are chicken period.... Nice. • I then started looking into the environmental impact of the dairy industry and that made me really start questioning my eating habits. • • 2) What are your favourite meals/ snacks?• I eat a lot of mush, mush is just a mix of lots of veg and spice all whizzed together. Doesn’t look to great but you can make it into burgers, into soups or toppings for baked potatoes and it tastes

amazing. • 3) Have you felt any advantages/disadvantages from becoming vegan? (health, missing out on anything etc.)• It's stressful because people are constantly telling you that you're not getting enough protein, and every time you’re ill it's apparently because you're vegan. But ultimately I feel a lot more energetic, its

easier for me to manage my wait, my skin is a lot better and it forces me to think properly about what I am putting into my body and what I'm getting from it. • 4) Are there any foods that you have found that are vegan that you wouldn't expect to be?• Oreos! Amazingly, they are pretty much made up of sugar and preservatives, unbelievably unhealthy. • Most ginger biscuits are also accidentally vegan.• 5) What did you find hardest to give up?• CHEESE! Milk and Chocolate substitutes are amazing but as of yet nobody has made a cheese substitute that doesn’t taste like plastic although you can make your own out of cashew nuts which I am

yet to try. • 6) What coping mechanisms did you have?• I used to eat bits of cheese when nobody was looking, but eventually I realised it was just a taste I was craving, and the more I didn't give in to it, the easier it got to ignore it. • 7) Do you feel healthier since becoming vegan?• I think so, but I was already eating quite healthily before so I can't be sure. • 8) Is it more expensive than not being vegan?• Not at all, you just have to be sensible with your money and not spend it all on ginger biscuits.• 9) Do you have support from other people who are vegans?• I had a few Vegan friends who were really helpful, but my family were also extremely supportive which I know is not always the case. • 10) What would your best piece of advice be for someone who wants to become vegan?• Join vegan groups online, there are so many people out there willing to answer your question. Also don't be too harsh on yourself, if you cave in and eat some chocolate it’s not the end of the world.

The best thing to do is find vegan treats that make you happy, and have a stash of them for those moments when you want a slab of cheese or chocolate. Also bake a lot; there are so many amazing vegan recipes out there which are a lot more inventive than mush.

• I read a great bit of advise the other day which was 'always be the vegan you would have liked to have met before you became vegan' Its so easy to try and make people around you understand why you have decided to go vegan, and it's hard to talk about being vegan to someone who isn't without sounding like you are implying that you're better than them.

• It's all about staying calm and trying to take part in constructive conversations. • My last tip would be to enjoy it, again get involved in groups online and meet other vegans, enjoy living in the knowledge that you are staying true to what you believe in.

The Original version has 670 words.

CutsParagraph 1:• ‘Hard question,’ – not the best line to use if you are passionate about something.• ‘Who even first decide to drink cow boob extract anyway?’ – Not relevant to the point.• ‘.... Nice.’ - not necessary.• ‘for the fun of it’

Paragraph 3:• ‘and every time you’re ill it's apparently because you're vegan.’ • ‘, its easier for me to manage my Weight’

Paragraph 2:• ’Doesn’t look to great but’

Paragraph 4: • ‘which I am yet to try.’

Paragraph 10:• ‘Join Vegan groups online’ – repeated point• ‘and have a stash of them for those moments when you want a slab of cheese or chocolate’ • ‘and it's hard to talk about being vegan to someone who isn't without sounding like you are

implying that you're better than them.’• ‘Again’ – removed this as I had removed the original point due to repetition• ‘The best thing to do is find vegan treats that make you happy.’ • ‘I read a great bit of advise the other day which was 'always be the vegan you would have

liked to have met before you became vegan’• ‘which are a lot more inventive than mush.’ – seemed unnecessary • ‘Also’ – removed a few due to repetition

Paragraph 8:‘and not spend it all on ginger biscuits.’ – Un

Paragraph 6: ‘so I can't be sure.’

Edits• Added spaces between all of the paragraphs so it is easier to read.

• Paragraph 1: changed ‘baby cows’ to Calves.• Paragraph 1: Changed ‘cow boob extract’ to milk

• Paragraph 3: Weight was misspelled as ‘wait’.

• Paragraph 9: changed ‘my family were’ to ‘my family was’.

• Paragraph 10: Changed ‘There are so many people out there willing to answer your question’ to ‘There are many people willing to help you start’

Facts• “Eggs are chicken period”- this fact is correct.

http://www.peta2.com/blog/are_eggs_chicken_periods_a_nurse_gives_the_lowdown/

• ‘Most ginger biscuits are also accidentally vegan’ -this link shows that some bands of ginger biscuits are ‘accidentally’ vegan. http://www.peta.org.uk/blog/44-accidentally-vegan-snack-foods/

• ‘Make your own out of cashew nuts’’ – you can make cheese out of cashews. http://nutritionstripped.com/classic-cashew-cheese-3-ways/